I hope everyone had a great holiday!
Let’s start the final week of 2023 with Jennifer Lopez playing seven different characters in the video for Get Right. This video was directed by Francis Lawrence, who famously worked with another Jennifer when he took over directing duties on The Hunger Games franchise.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, Jon Baker gives up a dream.
Episode 1.7 “Taking Its Toll”
(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on November 3rd, 1977)
Inspired by his hero Joseph Wambaugh, Jon Baker is writing a book. It’s a novel all about the crazy things that he has seen as a member of the California Highway Patrol. Ponch is one of the main characters. Of course, Baker is mostly focusing on all of the times that Ponch has screwed up. On his writer’s board, Baker has cards that read, “Ponch Falls In Glue,” “Ponch Loses His Bike,” and “Ponch Rips His Pants.” Ponch, when he discovers what Jon is doing, isn’t necessarily happy about being held up to ridicule but then Baker promises to portray Ponch as a hero, a modern-day Roman centurion who rides his bike like a horse into battle.
This episode provides Baker with plenty of material. Two blonde surfer dudes are robbing people who are stopped at toll booths and then making their escape in stolen sports cars. As well, a man crashes his car and, when the highway patrol investigates, they discover a bomb in the back seat! The bomb squad is called but what about the innocent motorcyclist who is trapped underneath the car? If the bomb blows up, not only will the motorcyclist be killed but so will Ponch, the officer who is trying to keep him calm. (Don’t worry, the bomb doesn’t blow up.) As well, when a truck carrying a bunch of onions has an accident, it leads to onions all over the road! Ponch, Baker, Bear, and even Gatraer end up shedding some tears while directing traffic.
It sounds like it will make a great book but, unfortunately, Baker discovers that, as a cop, he’s not really allowed to freely write a book about his experiences. Instead, he has to clear everything with the legal department and then ask permission before even trying to get the book published. (As Gatraer explains it, the California Highway Patrol has to protect its image.) To Ponch’s disappointment, Baker abandons the book and throws away his plot cards. Fear not, though! Ponch says he’s going to write his own book and even commandeers Baker’s typewriter to do so.
(Yes, a typewriter. Seriously, I can’t imagine writing anything without having the ability to just highlight a paragraph and delete the entire thing without the click of a button.)
This was one of those day-in-the-life episodes that didn’t really add up to much. Interestingly enough, the emphasis was often less on Baker and Ponch and more on the idea of the entire California police force — from the Highway Patrol to the Sheriff’s Department to the Bomb Squad — all working together to keep people safe. The best part of the episode came early on with an exciting chase between Baker and the toll thieves. For the most part, though, this episode just left me thinking about how an episode that featured Baker writing a book somehow still managed to largely focus on Ponch. Watching this episode, I could understand why Larry Wilcox was reportedly not always happy with the direction of the show. Even when its about Baker, CHiPs is still largely the Ponch Show.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Crockett and Tubbs head down to Colombia and learn about the smuggler’s blues!
Episode 1.16 “Smuggler’s Blues”
(Dir by Paul Michael Glaser, originally aired on Feb. 1st, 1985)
Someone is blowing up drug dealers and their families in Miami. Homicide Detective Jones (Ron Vawter) doesn’t know why anyone cares about a bunch of smugglers being killed but DEA Agent Ed Waters (a youngish Richard Jenkins) is concerned that a vigilante is on the loose.
If there is a vigilante on the loose, who could it be? Well, we know that it’s not going to be any of our regular cast members, even if Castillo does seem to be kind of tightly wound. So, that really leaves Jones and Waters as our only two suspects. Looking over the notes that I trotted down for this episode, I see that I immediately said that Waters had to be the killer because, when the killer anonymously called the Department towards the end of the episode, I instantly recognized Richard Jenkins’s voice. Of course, it turned out I was totally wrong. Detective Jones turned out to be the killer and apparently, I have no idea what Richard Jenkins actually sounds like.
Anyway, before Detective Jones can be revealed as the murder, Crockett and Tubbs have to go to Colombia so that they can go undercover as dealers and purchase a large amount of cocaine. The idea is that the vigilante will target either Crockett and Tubbs or they’ll go after Trudy, who is undercover as Tubbs’s wife. Working on their own, Crockett and Tubbs recruit a pilot named Jimmy Cole (Glenn Frey) to fly them to Colombia.
Former Eagle Glenn Frey was specifically cast in this episode because the plot was largely based on a song that he had written, Smuggler’s Blues. (The episode’s script was written by Miguel Pinero, who played Calderone earlier in the season.) The song is played throughout the episode, the lyrics hammering home one of Miami Vice‘s key themes. The war on drugs can never be won because there’s way too much money to be made in smuggling and selling.
It’s a good episode, one that features a likable guest turn from Glenn Frey and plenty of action. When Crockett and Tubbs land in Colombia, they find themselves having to fight off both enforcers and cops. Their only ally is Cole, a man who they would normally be expected to arrest, (In a nicely acted scene, Tubbs and Cole bond over the fact that they both served in Vietnam.) Back in the United States, Crockett, Tubbs, and Cole have to fight off a thief, played by Richard Edson. And after all that, it’s still up to Tubbs and Crockett to save Trudy from being blown up in a trailer and this leads to wonderfully tense bomb disarming scene. In the end, Crockett and Tubbs score a victory but we are left with little doubt that it will only be a temporary one. That’s the politics of contraband, to quote both the song and the show.
Hi! We hope you’re having a wonderful holiday!
Here at the Shattered Lens, we have a Christmas tradition, one that was started way back in 2009 by site founder Arleigh Sandoc. And that tradition is …. TREEVENGE!
Celebrate Christmas with the greatest haunted Christmas tree movie ever!
Enjoy and …. wait, what? Uh-oh! The video is age-restricted so you’ll have to click on the watch on YouTube link!
by Erin Nicole
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, or enjoy your Monday! No matter what this day means or signifies to you, we hope that it full of good tidings and cheer!
I took this picture at the Dallas Arboretum a few years ago. Every year, I enjoy going to the Arboretum and seeing what they’ve done for the holidays. Looking up at the tree with the star sitting atop of it always puts me in the Christmas spirit!
Have a wonderful day and thank you to everyone who has visited this site over the last 13 years!
by Emmett Watson
Merry Christmas!
Have a safe and merry holiday.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
This week, Degrassi goes there!
Episode 2.2 “A Helping Hand”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 14th, 1988)
There’s a lot of drama to be found in this week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High. In fact, this is actually the first episode that I’ve seen that juggled three on-going B-plots along with the A-plot. Watching this episode felt very much like being dropped into a real middle school where everyone has some sort of drama playing out in their lives.
For instance, Shane tells Spike that he told his parents about Spike being pregnant. For a moment, Spike is proud of Shane for finally doing the right thing. Then, she finds out that Shane’s parents want to meet with Spike and her mother, which is something that neither Spike nor Shane are looking forward to dealing with. Shane also mentions that his father is a preacher. Even though the meeting doesn’t actually happen during this episode, I can already guess what’s probably going to happen when it does. It’s never a good sign when someone on Degrassi is a preacher’s kid.
Meanwhile, Stephanie is upset that Alexis is still wearing Stephanie’s old clothes and that she’s still dating Simon as result. At first, Alexis refuses to return Stephanie’s clothes but, after Alexis’s mom comes across them, Alexis is ordered to return them. An excited Stephanie changes back into her trampy clothes and smiles at Simon in the hallway and Simon totally ignores her. Ouch!
As for Stephanie’s former crush, Wheels is struggling in school and running the risk of being held back a grade. His parents have even declared that Wheels can no longer be the Zit Remedy’s bass player until his “marks” improve. With the support of Ms. Avery, Wheels gets his eyes checked and he gets a pair of glasses! (Those of you who know your Degrassi history know what an important moment this is. Those glasses — and eventually a mullet — would become Wheels’s trademark.) Wheels can now see but Joey and Snake aren’t sure if there’s ever been a rock star with glasses.
“What about John Lennon?” Wheels asks.
“Who?” Joey replies.
“Some 60s guy,” Snake explains.
(Did Canada ban the Beatles?)
With Wheels temporarily sidelined by his bad grades, Joey and Snake look for a substitute bassist and just happen to hear Simon playing a bass guitar. Simon may not have Wheels’s tragic past (and future) but he does have perfect eyesight.
Finally, in this episode’s main plot, Mr. Raditch is in the hospital so his homeroom gets a substitute teacher. Mr. Colby (Marcus Bruce) is dorky but likable, a youngish teacher who wears goofy sweaters and who encourages his students to think for themselves and who is extremely touchy-feely when it comes to Lucy. Lucy, who is still on probation for shop lifting and who is lonely since her best friend Voula moved away, at first appreciates Mr. Colby’s attention. She gets upset when L.D. (Amanda Cook) says that Mr. Colby is creepy.
“You’re just jealous!” Lucy snaps, despite the fact that L.D. is her new clothes-borrowing best friend.
“At least I’m not a shoplifter!” L.D. yells back.
(Ouch! Then again, maybe if L.D. was a shoplifter, she’d actually have some decent clothes of her own to wear.)
Eventually, Mr. Colby asks Lucy to stay after class. When he puts his hand on her back and whispers that she’s a very special student, Lucy realizes that L.D. was right! Fortunately, Wheels is standing on the other side of the door and, with his new super-vision, he sees what Mr. Colby is up to. Wheels steps into the classroom and says that he needs to get a book. Lucy takes advantage of the distraction to make her escape.
The next day, Mr. Colby passes Lucy in the hallway and tells her not to say anything about what happened before adding that, of course, nothing did happen. Lucy just misinterpreted his attempts to be friendly. What a creep! Wheels approaches Lucy and offers to testify on her behalf. Lucy smiles as the jarringly cheerful theme music starts up and the end credits roll.
That’s a nice ending for a well-done episode but again, it’s hard not to think about what’s going to happen in the future with all of these characters. Lucy and Wheels may be smiling now but, if you know the history of this show, you also know what’s going to happen after they graduate high school. Wheels is going drive drunk and, with Lucy in the car with him, end up crashing his car, killing a kid, and temporarily blinding and crippling Lucy. The future for Wheels is jail and the future for Lucy is years of painful physical rehab. Seriously, Degrassi Junior High is one dark show!
As for this episode, every woman has had to deal with a Mr. Colby at some point in their lives and I will admit to cringing whenever he placed his hands on Lucy’s shoulders while talking to her. I could relate to what Lucy was feeling all too well. Mr. Colby’s final declaration that he didn’t do anything wrong and that it was Lucy’s fault for misunderstanding him sounded all too familiar. Fortunately, Lucy had people in her life who were looking out for her and who had her back, like L.D. and Wheels. (As usual, Lucy’s parents were present only as voices on an answering machine.) Both Wheels and Mr. Colby said they wanted to help Lucy but Wheels was the only one who meant it.
Next week, Joey gets a new girlfriend and Arthur calls a sex therapist. That’s right …. it’s time for Dr. Sally!
Merry Christmas!
Films I Watched:
Television Shows I Watched:
Music To Which I Listened:
Live Tweets:
Trailers:
Awards Season:
News From Last Week:
Links From Last Week:
Links From The Site:
More From Us:
Watching the 1964 holiday sci-fi epic, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, is a Christmas Eve tradition here at the Shattered Lens! So, sit back, turn on Kid TV, and get ready to sing!
S
A
N
T
A
C
L
A
U
S
HOORAY FOR SANTY CLAUS!
Through the Shattered Lens 