Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.9 “Phantom of the Market”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, someone is stealing disgusting gourmet food!

Episode 1.9 “Phantom of the Market”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on November 27th, 1985)

Howard is super-excited because he has been named Cobb’s Manager of the Year!  The manager of the year wins a Hawaiian vacation for two because, apparently, there’s not a single Cobb’s manager who has a large family.  I get the feeling that the whole manager of the year thing is a scam to give the the company’s managers an excuse to go to Hawaii with their secretaries.  That’s certainly what Howard is planning to do, though at least he’s actually unmarried and dating Edna.

(Being a Canadian company, I would think Cobb’s would reward its employees with a Discovery Islands vacation but no, Cobb’s would rather send its employees to the USA.)

Howard’s employees even go through the trouble of making and hanging a big banner congratulating Howard.  Of course, they hang it upside down but Howard is in such a good mood that he doesn’t even yell about it.  Unfortunately, Howard’s mood is soon ruined when a corporate stooge (played by Grant Cowan) shows up and tells Howard that his store is missing $400 worth of gourmet meat and that Howard is going to lose his job if he can’t figure out what has happened to the missing inventory.

Feeling that it might be an inside job, Howard and Alf spend two nights at the store in hopes of catching whoever it is.  The first night, Howard falls asleep and wakes up in his underwear.  Somehow, the thief took all of his clothes without waking up Howard.  Howard wraps himself in the banner, which I would think would make him look even more undressed than when he was just wearing shoes, boxers, and his undershirt.  (How did the thief undress Howard without taking his shoes off?  Again, how did Howard sleep through that?)  The second night, Howard discovers that Cobb’s actually has a basement and that basement is occupied by Henry Weinberg (Antony Parr).

The well-dressed and well-fed Henry explains that his family used to own the land on which the store was built.  Henry has been living in the basement of various Cobb’s stores for several years and he’s been stealing their food.  He gives Howard a box that he says contains the ashes of his grandfather.  Howard is surprisingly accepting of all this.

The next day — yay!  All of the missing inventory is back.  Howard gets to keep his job and go to Hawaii.  Henry shows up in the story and tells Howard that he stole replacement food from all the other grocery stores in the area.  After Henry leaves, Alf informs Howard that Henry is actually a comedian who used to do a bit about putting his grandfather’s ashes in a box.  As Henry speaks, Howard discreetly spills the ashes onto the flood and kicks them underneath a shelf.  Yikes!

This was kind of a strange episode but, in this case, the weirdness worked to the show’s advantage.  In previous episodes, Don Adams sometimes seemed to be overacting.  In this episode, everyone was acting bizarrely and, as such, Adams’s exaggerated reactions actually fit well with the situation.  Add to that, this episode featured the return of Viker, the dumb but very confident electrician played by Gordon Clapp.  As played by Clapp, Viker’s earnest stupidity was definitely the high point of the episode.

Next week, everyone car pools to work!  I really can’t imagine that going well but we’ll find out what happens soon!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/26/23 — 12/2/23


Bar Rescue (Paramount Plus)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer went to a bar in San Antonio and yelled at the owner, who was basically spending all of her time drinking as opposed to actually running her business.  The thing that amuses me about this show is how Taffer acts like running a bar is the most important calling in the world.

On Wednesday, I watched an episode in which Taffer went to a bar in Brooklyn and his camera crew was actually attacked by some unruly bar patrons.  Agck!  That was kind of scary.  That said, I always enjoy the New York episodes of Bar Rescue because it’s fun to watch the rudest people in the world get yelled at by the rudest television host.

On Thursday, while it rained outside, I watched as Jon Taffer tried to save an ant-infested music venue.  He got mad because the owner kept laughing awkwardly but I think the guy just had a nervous habit.  I followed this up with an episode in which a drunk sports bar owner turned out to be so obnoxious that his entire staff quit on him and Taffer didn’t even invite him to the grand re-opening of his bar.  (The owner still showed up, completely drunk.)  It was actually kind of a sad episode.  Taffer kept yelling at the guy for not smiling enough but some people just aren’t natural smilers.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 30 minutes.

CHiPS (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Saturday, I watched a really sad episode featuring this crazy woman who was harassing a mother who had lost one of her daughters to cyberbullying.  The woman was incredibly unstable and never seemed to understand just how loathed she was by the audience.  Seriously, the ability to go online on a whim has done terrible things to some minds.

On Monday, I watched a rare three-part episode in which Dr. Phil confronted a professional catfisher named Khalid.  Khalid tried to be very charming when the interview began but, over the course of 90 minutes, he grew more and more hostile and defensive.  It was interesting to watch, even if Khalid ultimately got away with his crimes.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode featuring a woman who was planning to leave her husband so that she could pursue Kip Moore.  The audience was amused but I found the episode to be kind of depressing. Dr. Phil once again claimed that his son was a country music star, which I don’t think was actually true.

On Saturday, after watching a docuseries about the Love Has Won cult on HBO, I watched two episodes that Dr. Phil did about the group.

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Monday Night, Fox)

This week, Chef Ramsay went to a restaurant in South Brooklyn, where the two owners had an extremely toxic relationship.  I enjoyed this episode because everyone involved was extremely Italian.  I was happy when Rey walked out of the restaurant because I felt his behavior was abusive.  I was less happy when Danny quit but I can understand his logic.  He just wanted to do his job but instead, he kept getting dragged into everyone’s personal drama.  I was really happy when Kelly learned how to run the business on her own but I was disappointed that she apparently took Rey back as her partner.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God (Saturday Afteroon, HBO2)

This creepy three-party documentary provided a look inside the Love Has Won cult and its leader, a former McDonalds manager who was believed to be God by her followers.  She and her followers were addicted to filming themselves and the documentary was filled with footage of the group.  It was easy to be dismissive of the members of the cult but almost all of them seemed to be damaged souls, people who dealt with their personal traumas by going down the rabbit hole of conspiracy-thinking and flakey spirituality.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Sunday morning.  Mike and the bots watched the 1959 film, Santa Claus.  I like Tom Servo because he’s an intellectual.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.23 “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Gabe Now”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, season 2 ends as the new art teacher tempts Gabe to have an affair with someone who actually likes his jokes!

Episode 2.23 “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Gabe Now”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on March 3rd, 1977)

The second season finale opens with Gabe telling Julie a joke about his cousin Mark, who went back to the old neighborhood and dropped in on the old shoe repairman.  The shoe repairman saw that Mark was carrying a sales ticket from several years ago and he said, “Your shoes will be ready next Tuesday!”  Julie laughed politely.

The second season finale closes with Gabe telling Julie a really long joke about the time his Aunt Mabel went to see a psychiatrist on Park Avenue and was basically led back to the outside of the building because she didn’t make enough money to see a Park Avenue doctor.  Again, Julie laughed politely.

From the very first episode, Gabe telling Julie a joke about his family has been one of this show’s mainstays.  Sometimes, Julie smiles in response.  Sometimes, she gives up a pity laugh or two.  And sometimes, she seems downright annoyed with Gabe for wasting her time.  Gabe’s jokes are obviously very important to him.  (And, of course, they served to remind the audience that, when he wasn’t starring on a sitcom, Gabe Kaplan was a stand-up comedian.)  However, Julie never really seems to be too enthusiastic about them.  I imagine that a lot of this was due to the fact that Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman did not get along behind-the-scenes but, for the show, it really does make you wonder just how much longer Gabe and Julie are going to be married.  I mean, by this point, it’s obvious that the reason Gabe spends so much time with the Sweathogs is so he won’t have to deal with Julie.  And Julie’s bad cooking is obviously a result of her secret desire to poison her husband.  This marriage just feels doomed.

The Sweathogs are certainly concerned about that.  When Epstein overhears the new art teacher, Paula Holtzgang (Denise Galick), telling Gabe that she has fallen in love with him, he is stunned.  He is even more shocked when he sees Gabe and Holtzgang kissing.  Of course, what Epstein doesn’t realize is that Paula was the one kissing Gabe and not the other way around.  Epstein tells the Sweathogs what he witnessed.  Horshack panics, wondering who will get custody of the Sweathogs if the Kotters split up.  Barbarino tries to solve the problem by showing off some of his dance moves as Paula leaves the school but, to his shock, she ignores him.

For his part, Gabe tells Julie about what happened and he says that he told Paula he wasn’t interested.  Julie demands to know if Paula is prettier than her.  Gabe says that Paula is a “different type” than Julie ….. which, yeah, that was not the right answer.  Fortunately, Gabe does not tell Julie that Paula kissed him.  Instead, the Sweathogs show up at the apartment and, attempting to save the marriage, tell Julie that she shouldn’t worry about the kiss.

With Julie on the verge of demanding a divorce, Gabe kicks the Sweathogs out of the apartment and he then assures Julie that he loves her and he can’t wait for their child to be born.  He even has a name picked out: “Farrah Fawcett Kotter.”

The next day, Gabe enters his classroom to find Paula waiting for him.  Paula says that she no longer finds Gabe attractive and leaves.

And that’s it for the second season!

Wow, what a strange episode to end on.  I mean, I guess it was good because it confirmed that Gabe and Julie will not be getting a divorce even though it’s obvious that they hate each other.  And this episode also reinforced how much the Sweathogs loved their teacher.  John Travolta got to show off his dance moves and that’s always a good thing.  But, overall, this episode was broad even by the standards of Welcome Back Kotter, with the Sweathogs coming across as being a bit to cartoonish for their own good.  The Sweathogs have always been a bit over the top but, in the past, they were still at least believable as tough but sometimes vulnerable Brooklyn teens.  But, for the past few episodes, they’ve become more like comic book characters than real people.

And yes, there was a Welcome Back, Kotter comic book:

Anyway, that’s it for the second season!  Next week …. season 3 begins!  Will the Sweathogs ever graduate?

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Evil Dead Rise!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  2023’s Evil Dead Rise!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Evil Dead Rise is available on Prime!

See you there!

Music Video of the Day: Perfume by Britney Spears (2013, dir by Joseph Kahn)


Happy birthday, Britney!

Apparently, there’s a longer version of this video in which it is made clear that Britney’s character is actually an assassin who is hired to kill her former lover but who, when she sees that he still has the ring that she gave him long ago, cannot bring herself to do it.  Her character is subsequently murdered for failing to complete her assignment.  Agck!  I prefer the version of the video that was actually released.

Enjoy!