Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Youtube.
This week, Monsters makes the mistake of getting political.
Episode 1.6 “Where’s The Rest Of Me?”
(Dir by Richard Benner, originally aired on November 26th, 1988)
On a Caribbean island, Dr. Wingite (Meat Loaf) is throwing a small party in his mansion/laboratory. Attending the party is a football player named Joe (Franco Harris). Dr. Wingite gave Joe a new knee and, as a result, Joe is having his best season ever. Also at the party is a singer named Regina (played by Black-Eyed Susan). Regina was losing her voice until Dr. Wingite gave her new vocal cords. And finally, there’s a businessman named J.J. Marshall (Drew Eliot), who wants to develop the island by building a shopping mall. J.J. was losing his eyesight until Dr. Wingite gave him new eyes.
As Wingite and his patients drink wine and talk about their greedy plans for the future, revolutionaries are firing guns and shouting outside. The government is not popular and neither is Dr. Wingite, who is not only a mad scientist but also the government’s chief executioner.
Wingite takes his guests down to his lab, where they see Adam (Frank Tarsia). Wingite explains that Adam was a rebel who was due to be executed. Wingite, however, put him in a coma and the doctor has been giving away his body parts. J.J. has Adam’s eyes. Regina has Adam’s vocal cords. Joe has Adam’s knee. Adam is kept alive with machines but when Joe and Regina accidentally spill a beaker of liquid into Adam’s feed tube, Adam wakes up and comes back to life. Adam stalks the guests through the mansion, determined ro regain his missing body parts.
Eh. This episode was …. well, it was pretty bad. The political subtext was pretty heavy-handed, with J.J. loudly declaring that Wingite’s experiments are “free enterprise!” and Adam shouting “Viva la revolution” as he seeks revenge on the doctor and his wealthy guests. It had all the depth and the nuance of an essay written by a college freshmen who is convinced that he’s an expert on Marx because he took one class on him. I’m surprised that the episode didn’t feature Fidel Castro parachuting in to rescue Adam or maybe an appearance by the ghost of that bourgeois phony, Che Guevara.
Beyond the superficial political subtext, this episode suffered from some truly terrible acting. Meat Loaf is totally miscast as a mad scientist and seeing that Dr. Wingite was obviously based on South America-based Nazi war criminals like Klaus Barbie and Josef Mengele, you have to wonder what led the show’s director to think, “This is a perfect role for a kind of goofy singer!” From what I understand, Franco Harris was an actual football player and his performance makes the basketball players who appeared on Hang Time seem expressive by comparison. The rest of the cast is neither as miscast as Meat Loaf nor as downright bad as Franco Harris but still, no one makes much of an impression.
This was a disappointing episode. Sometimes, it’s best to avoid politics.


