Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s SAT time!

Episode 5.15 “An SAT Carol”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 3rd, 2001)

It’s SAT time!  Cassidy is paranoid about getting into a good acting school.  Dawn declares that she will be a total failure if she doesn’t get into Harvard pre-med.  Dawn, do you know anyone at Harvard?  Do you have any family connections at Harvard?  Is your family secretly rich?  I’m just saying that, unless you have an inside track, it’s kind of silly to not have a second choice for when Harvard rejects you.

Everyone is cramming for their SATS but, after missing a few questions while attending study group at the Manhattan Diner, L-Train announces that he’s not going to take his SATs and he’s not going to go to college.  The audience groans in disappointment but the audience should not fear because this is a Peter Engel-produced show.  No one gets away with blowing off college as long as Peter Engel’s around!

That night, L-Train goes to bed but is woken up by the spirit of Ms. Noble, who is doing the Hustle in his bedroom.  Ms. Noble explains that L-Train is having a dream and that she’s come to his room to show him the paths that his life can take depending on whether or not he takes the SATs.

(Personally, I think it’s kind of creepy that L-Train is dreaming about his principal disco dancing….)

Ms. Noble takes L-Train to his 10-year high school reunion, which is, of course, taking place on the roof of Manny High.  Dawn, Ms. Noble explains, has become a doctor.  Cassidy is married to Chris and is an actress on the show V.E.R.  (“Veterinarian Emergency Room,” Ms. Noble explains.)  Al took his SATs, went to business school, and opened up a furniture store.  Chris is a DJ on New York radio, which, as we all know, is a job that is only given to people who have taken their SATs.  Jamal, meanwhile, has opened up a chain of successful Mexican restaurants.  And L-Train …. well, he took the SATS, went to college, studied music, and became a very successful record producer!  Future L-Train shows up at the reunion and gives his friends tickets to the Grammys.

“This is all because you took the SATs!” Ms. Noble announces before a disco ball descends from Heaven and transports her and L-Train back to his bedroom.  However, when Ms. Noble asks L-Train if he’s going to take the SATs, he says no because his mind always goes blank whenever he has to take a test.

“That’s just your fear talking,” Ms. Noble replies.

“I’m afraid of fear!” L-Train replies.

Ms. Noble takes L-Train to a future where he didn’t take the SATs.  In this future, L-Train walks into Manhattan Diner and complains to Al and Jamal that his latest business, a car washing business, is going out of business.  He mentions that all of his other businesses have failed as well.  (So, in other words, L-Train didn’t take the SATs but still had enough money to go into business for himself.)  Later, on the night of his class reunion, L-Train stays in bed, watches TV, and laments that he doesn’t even have a girlfriend.  L-Train watches an episode of V.E.R, starring Cassidy and then a commercial for Al’s furniture store.  It’s all painfully unfunny so L-Train turns on the radio and hears Chris interviewing Jamal.

“I’m a loser, Ms. Noble!” L-Train says.  Ms. Noble agrees.  L-Train finally wakes up and realizes that he still has time to take the SATs!

This was an annoying episode.  The fact of the matter is that some people succeed without going to college and others go to college and end up going nowhere.  There are no guarantees in life.  Obviously, Dawn does need to go to college if she’s going to become a doctor and going to business school worked out for Al.  But Cassidy has already starred in commercials and appeared in several off-Broadway plays so is it really a good idea for her to put her career on hold for four years?  Jamal obviously inherited his restaurant business from his father and I imagine that would have happened whether Jamal went to college or not.  Chris, meanwhile, was first offered his own show as a New York DJ when he was in high school so did the SATs really have anything to do with his future career?  If anything, it sounds like Chris is in a career rut and that he basically peaked in high school.  In the real world, everyone follows their own path.  I went to college.  I loved it.  Sometimes, I wish I was still in college.  But just because that was right for me, that doesn’t mean that it’s right for everyone.

Anyway, let’s move on!

Episode 5.16 “Mock the Vote”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 3rd, 2001)

This is another episode that is missing from YouTube so here’s the Wikipedia plot description:

Dawn is running for Senior Class President against a pompous and overconfident student named Thane Watkins. Jamal and Chris contribute to Dawn losing out on the position when they make a mockery of the whole election on their radio show which affects the voter turnout. In turn making Thane win by a landslide and unwittingly giving him the power to mess with many Manny High programs and to act on his distaste of their radio show by canceling it and dismantling the radio booth. Now Chris, Jamal, Al, and L-Train must work with Dawn to veto this decision. Meanwhile, Cassidy receives letters from a fan who has seen her in a commercial and he writes that he is flying to New York to visit her. She becomes a paranoid and nervous wreck when she believes that this fan and a crazed stalker that has escaped who are both from the same town is one and the same person.

Obviously, I can’t review this episode because it’s not streaming anywhere.  From the plot description, it sounds like a typical TNBC student council episode.  It’s always funny to me how big a deal the student council was in these old Peter Engel-produced shows.  When I was in high school, the student council was a joke and we made fun of anyone dumb enough to run for it.  I will say that it’s hard for me to believe that Thane Watkins could be that bad of a guy when he apparently doesn’t like Chris and Jamal’s radio show.  Seriously, I cringe anytime I hear those two going, “Good morning, Manny High!”  As for Cassidy getting a stalker, that’s really nothing to joke about.  I’m sure that everything turned out okay, though.  No serious lessons were ever learned from the B-plot.

Next week: L-Train becomes a poet and we get another clip show.