Because you have the power to read minds and implant suggestions, you have been hired to serve as Schtupmeister Beer’s first Psychic Brand Ambassador. Your job is to go to restaurants and mentally suggest to customers that they try out Schtupmeister. What better place to start than Applebee’s?
This is a short, choose your own adventure-style game. You go to Applebee’s, you scan the customers and the waitresses, and you decide whether or not to read their minds. Once you get into their heads, you have the option to either help them out with their problems or just suggest that they get drunk. It’s simple but it’s well-written and all of the characters make a strong impression. I managed to inspire one person to drink a beer and I think may have accidentally inspired someone else to burn down the restaurant. It’s not easy being a psychic brand ambassador! This is an entertaining and frequently funny game, one that wins major points just by combining psychic phenomena with Applebee’s.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Today, we wrap up season one of City Guys! Can you feel the excitement?
Episode 1.11 “The College Girl”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 22nd, 1997)
Chris meets Alison, a girl in a NYU sweatshirt and gets a date with her by lying about how old he is. He claims that he’s an undercover cop. She believe him because the episode wouldn’t work otherwise. The next day, after their date, Chris discovers that Alison is the new student teacher! At first, Chris tries to convince her that he’s working undercover to break up a drug ring and to prove it, he arrests El-Train! Eventually, Chris comes clean and Alison dumps his lying ass. You go, Alison! Chris learns an important lesson about always being himself and also about how it’s never too late to apologize.
Meanwhile, Dawn freaks out when she’s voted the school’s worst dancer. She gets Jamal to teach her how to dance. This subplot would have worked better if not for the fact that Caitlin Mowery (who played Dawn) was clearly a better dancer than Wesley Jonathan (who played Jamal).
It was a pretty dumb episode but I did laugh at the fact that, even after the lie was exposed, El-Train continued to believe that Chris was an undercover cop.
Episode 1.12 “Bye, Mom”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 29th, 1997)
Jamal is failing English so Ms. Noble tutors him by taking him up to the roof and explaining the plot of Romeo and Juliet to him. This leads to Jamal having childhood flashbacks to his recently deceased mother teaching him how to play the piano. When Ms. Noble has to go into the hospital, Jamal worries that he’s going to lose her and he’s forced to deal with his own unresolved feelings about the death of his mother. For the most part, this was a heartfelt episode and Wesley Jonathan did a good job of capturing Jamal’s fear.
That said, this episode also featured an excruciatingly unfunny guest turn from Garry Marshall, who played the school’s vice principal and who didn’t leave a single piece of scenery unchewed.
Episode 1.13 “Old Friends”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 5th, 1997)
Remember that video yearbook that Chris and Jamal were supposed to be working on? Well, the show finally returned to that theme in the final episode of the first season. With the school year coming to an end, Chris and Jamal are trying to finish things up. Unfortunately, Mike (Victor Tugunde), an old friend of Jamal’s, has been released from juvenile detention and Jamal would suddenly rather hang out with Mike than with Chris!
Then the video camera disappears and guess who stole it! Jamal realizes that he’s moved on from his old friends and Chris …. well, I guess Chris gets to know all of his classmates as he interviews them for the video yearbook. The season ends with Chris and Jamal playing basketball on the school courtyard where they first met. It’s not a bad ending for a first season, to be honest.
Next week, season 2 begins and Chris and Jamal go from editing the video yearbook to running the student radio station. The city guys keep rolling.
For today’s horror scene that I love, I present to you the opening of Jess Franco’s 1962 film, The Awful Dr. Orlof.
Franco doesn’t have the best critical reputation but I’ve always felt that, when he wanted to and actually had the time and the budget, he was capable of directing some memorably surreal scenes. The opening of The Awful Dr. Orlof is full of atmosphere and sudden horror. It plays out like a dream of dark and disturbing things. Franco often claimed to a disciple of Orson Welles (and Franco reportedly did do some second unit work on Chimes At Midnight) and the opening of Dr. Orlof, with its shadowy cinematography and its skewed camera angles, does definitely show some Wellesian influence.
From 1962, here’s the opening of The Awful Dr. Orlof:
In 1970’s Orloff Against The Invisible Man, Paco Valladares stars as Dr. Garondet, a turn-of-the-century psychologist. One morning, Garondet is at his office when a mysterious child delivers a letter requesting that he travel to the castle of Prof. Orloff. Apparently, Orloff’s daughter feels that her father is losing his mind and is in deep need of therapy.
The castle is located in one of those remote villages that always seem to be home to mad scientists and vampires. As soon as Garondet arrives, he discovers that none of the villagers are willing to talk about Orloff or his castle. Instead, they all fear him and, if the audience has seen The Awful Dr. Orlof or any of the other dozen or so films that Jess Franco made about the mad doctor, that shouldn’t be a surprise.
What is a surprise is that Franco apparently had nothing to do with this particular Orloff film. Instead, Orloff Against The Invisible Man was directed by a French director named Pierre Chevalier. Chevalier does direct in a very Franco-like manner, making frequent use of the zoom lens and often highlighting odd visual details that have nothing to do with the overall plot. That said, Chevalier also direct with considerably less energy than Franco. That is a polite way of saying that this is a surprisingly slow movie.
Eventually, Gardonet does reach the castle. Orloff’s daughter, Cecile (Brigitte Carva), insists that she did not send the message. Orloff (played by the great Howard Vernon) tells the doctor that he is not only totally sane but that he also lives with an invisible man. Orloff proves his claim by having the invisible man pick up a few things in a room while Gardonet watches. Oddly, Gardonet doesn’t seem to be particularly surprised to learn that Orloff has an invisible servant.
Orloff says that he’s going to tell Gardonet the story of how he got an invisible servant but then it turns out that the story actually has very little to do with that. Cecile, it turns out, was once mistakenly pronounced dead and put in a coffin. Two of Orloff’s servants decided to break open the coffin and steal Cecile’s jewelry. However, when they opened the coffin, Cecile woke up and screamed. One of the gravediggers stabbed Cecile before the two of them ran from the crypt. Cecile survived but Orloff was so angry that he tracked down the graverobbers. He killed one and whipped the other. (Actually, he may have killed both of them. Due to some truly bad dubbing, the film isn’t clear on this point.) He then revived the dead servant, turned him invisible, and now uses him to rule over the village. Or at least, I think that’s what Orloff was claiming. Again, the editing of the film was so haphazard and the dubbing some incompetent that the plot wasn’t always easy to follow. Interestingly enough, there is one scene where we briefly do see what the Invisible Man looks like and he looks nothing like the dead servant but instead appears to be some sort of ape.
Orloff Against the Invisible Man is a mess of bad special effects and sexualized violence. If Jess Franco could be counted on to make films that were sleazy but enjoyably decadent, Orloff Against The InvisibleMan is just sleazy and kind of boring. The best thing that the film has going for it is Howard Vernon, who brings just the right mix of haughtiness and cynicism to the role of Orloff. Vernon always played Orloff as being an amoral aristocrat, one whose evil is more the result of ennui than actual maliciousness. Vernon’s the best thing about Orloff Against The Invisible Man.
As with most of the Orloff films, this one has actually been released under several different titles. My favorite was The Love Life of an Invisible Man. Interestingly enough, the film’s American tagline was “God Help Us …. If They Rise Again!” despite the fact that the film didn’t feature any zombies or ghosts. Instead, it just features a few flashbacks and a lot of exposition. Orloff Against The Invisible Man could have used the demented imagination of Jess Franco.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films. I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.
Today, we take a look at the early 60s!
6 Shots From 6 Horror Films: The Early 60s
Psycho (1960, dir by Alfred Hitchcock, DP: John L. Russell)
Black Sunday (1960, dir by Mario Bava)
Peeping Tom (1960, dir by Michael Powell, DP: Otto Heller)
Pit and the Pendulum (1961, dir by Roger Corman, DP: Floyd Crosby)
The Best of Yucca Flats (1961, dir by Coleman Francis, DP: John Cagle and Leo Strosnider)
The Awful Dr. Orloff (1962, dir by Jess Franco, DP: Godofredo Pacheco)
It’s so odd that it’s difficult to know how to even describe it. On the surface, it’s a film about two people in a house. The Girl (Madolyn Smith) — and that’s how she’s credited at the end of the film — is staying in a secluded house in the woods. There’s a nearby town but, when the Girl stops there to get some gas, it’s impossible not to notice that there aren’t any other people around. When the Girl reaches the house, she makes a phone call and asks to speak to her daughter. From what we hear of her say to her daughter, it sounds as if The Girl is recovering from some sort of trauma.
After the Girl hangs up the phone, the Caller (played by Malcolm McDowell) knocks on her front door. The Caller seems to be a polite Englishman. He says that he’s recently had some car trouble and he asks if he can come in the house to use the Girl’s phone. The Girl lets him in but, as soon as The Caller enters, it becomes apparent that he was lying about having car trouble.
The Girl and the Caller talk. In fact, they spend several days talking. Sometimes, they’re friendly to each other and other times, they’re not. Their stories keep changing. At one point, the Caller claims that he’s a police detective and that he’s investigating a murder in the area. At another point, the Girl claims that she was responsible for the Caller’s car not working. We start to get the feeling that the Girl and the Caller might know each other and that each knows that the other is lying. Things get stranger as the night turns into day and then night again. The Caller appears to be leave but, just as mysteriously, he shows up again. The Caller tries to enter one particular room in the house. The Girl fights to keep him from doing so. The two of them taunt each other. Sometimes, they threaten each other. At times, they seem to be almost dependent on each other and you wonder if the Girl really wants the Caller to leave. They start keeping track of who is collecting the most points as they play a game that only the two of them seem to understand.
And it just keeps going and going. As many times as the Girl and the Caller both say that they’re done with conversation or that they’re leaving, neither can seem to abandon they other. Instead, they keep circling each other, like two trapped animals continually challenging one another for control. It all leads to a twist, one that you probably won’t see coming. Admittedly, the twist itself does seem to come out of nowhere but, because the film has been so weird up until that moment, the bizarre randomness of it all seems totally appropriate.
At times, The Caller can feel like a bit of an endurance test. McDowell and Smith are the only two people in the film and they spend the entire movie engaging in cryptic conversations that only seem to make sense to themselves. It’s not always easy to follow them as they go from one topic to another. Fortunately, both Smith and McDowell give excellent performances, ones that keep us guessing as to their true motivations and which also keep us interested in their enigmatic characters. You become invested in their drama, even if you don’t always understand it. The Caller is not a film for everyone but horror fans looking to take a chance on something a little different will be well-rewarded.
I should start things off with a confession. This is actually not the first time that I’ve shared Manos: The Hands of Fate here on the Shattered Lens. I previously shared it during the 2013, 2015, and 2020 Horrorthons and, each time, I even used the exact same picture of Torgo.
However, Manos proved to be such a popular choice that I simply had to post it again. Manos has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made. And, honestly, who am I to disagree? However, it’s also a film that is so bad that it simply has to be seen.
(As well, I love regional horror and there are a few films as regional as Manos, a film that was filmed in my home state of Texas and directed by a fertilizer salesman.)
By the way, everyone who watches Manos ends up making fun of Torgo, who was played by John Reynolds. What they may not know is that Reynolds committed suicide shortly after filming on Manos wrapped. So, as tempting at it may be to ridicule poor Mr. Reynolds’s performance, save your barbs for Torgo and leave John Reynolds alone.
A woman takes a selfie at home and there is a man/figure behind her who she can only see in her phone. Twist: he’s a reverse vampire… sort of. I’m not sure. This is a great example of a great short. It’s cheap, quick, and scary. I was unnerved and jumped a bit. There were only 3 words of dialogue; so, it was all showing not telling, which is good because they are German and I don’t speak the language.
This is the fear of the invasion of your personal safe space. It’s part of us because if we don’t have it, we’d die.
I was trying to remember why I picked this standard 80s metal video for today’s music video of the day. Was it because of all the shapely legs? That seemed probable but that would not explain why I picked it for October. Then I remembered that this song was featured in the horror classic Black Roses, which is a movie about teenagers driven to murder by heavy metal music. In fact, the Satanic band itself was played by King Kobra.
As for this video, it doesn’t feature any Black Roses footage but it does feature Larry Fine and Humphrey Bogart.
Through the Shattered Lens 