Lisa Marie’s Week in Television: 1/16/22 — 1/22/22


I made a specific decision not watch too much TV this week (and next) so that I could concentrate on getting caught up on the films of 2021.  I made an exception for The Amazing Race, because I write about it for another site.  And, on Thursday, I did turn on the TV because I’ve had a long-standing argument with a friend of mine about whether or not The United States of Al is real show or just a twitter meme.  It turns out that it’s real!

Anyway, here’s a few thoughts on what little I watched.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

In occupied France, the search for the stolen money was replaced by the search for the stolen landmines.  Rene continued to try to run his cafe and cheat on his wife in peace while Michelle and the Resistance continued to insist that, as the bravest man in all of France, Rene had a responsibility to continually put his life in danger.  Along the way, Michelle said, “I shall say this only once,” and Herr Flick and Van Smallhousen disguised themselves as monks.  The comedy on this show is very broad but it’s also very well-acted so I can’t help but laugh.

Crabtree referred to the bombs as being “bongs.”  Again, it made me laugh.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the restart of the race here!  I shall miss Anthony and Spencer the most.

B Positive (Thursday Night, CBS)

This is one of Chuck Lorre’s many depressing sitcoms.  Imagine Mom but instead of being a bunch of drunks, all of the characters are terminally ill.  Anyway, I watched this week’s episode just to confirm to myself that this show actually exists.  And it does.  I didn’t pay much attention to the episode, though.  For some reason, what I did see reminded me of those annoying commercials that Kate McKinnon does for Verizon.

Who doesn’t love a comedy about people dying scared and alone?

Football Game: Cowboys vs 49 (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

My initial reaction to Dallas’s loss went something like this: “Congrats on cheating your way to victory, San Francisco.  Must be great to have the officials on your side.  Well, you guys got the victory but at least my city is a nice place to live so we’ll call it a draw.”

Fortunately, it has since been explained to me what happened during the final minutes of the game and I now understand that the Cowboys lost because they made a lot of sloppy and stupid mistakes.  So, a sincere congrats to the 49ers and to the Cowboys: Stop screwing up!

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

MeTV showed four episodes of Full House as a part of their tribute to Bob Saget.  I watched all four and My God, that was a bad show.  Saget was likable, though.  And I liked both John Stamos and Lori Loughlin and even Candace Cameron did her best to bring some sort of reality to the over-the-top cutesiness of the show.  But everyone else was pretty obnoxious and the dialogue was so painfully sweet that it was impossible to listen to without cringing.  I do have to admit that the audience’s habit of responding to everything by going, “Awwwww!’ did make me smile a little.

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

Ghosts is about a couple who live in a haunted house with a bunch of quirky ghosts.  Cute concept but it gets old quickly.  Why can’t the scoutmaster ghost take that stupid arrow out of his neck?  This week, one of the ghosts discovered that she had the power to end people to Hell which … eh.  Like I said, it got old quickly.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright was obsessed with Nurse Gladys Emmanuel.  Granville was depressed.  I’m pretty sure that Sunday was not the first that I had seen this episode.

The United States of Al (Thursday Night, CBS)

I watched an episode of this show just to see if it actually existed.  Apparently, it’s been on the air for a year or two but I have never met anyone who has actually watched the show.  Earlier this year, there was some twitter excitement over an extremely mawkish commercial for the show’s new season but that was pretty much it.  I always suspected that the commercial was actually some sort of viral prank but I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, this is about a veteran who lives with Al, who was his interpreter in Afghanistan.  It’s a culture clash comedy.  The main theme seems to be that Al is annoying af.  It’s also a Chuck Lorre sitcom so the show actually deals with serious issue in a cartoonish way.  This week’s episode featured Al getting addicted to online poker.  His roommate sprayed him with a garden hose until he snapped out of it.

Yep, this is a real show.

Oh!  And the episode ended with one of those stupid Chuck Lorre title cards for people who want to hit pause and discover what Chuck thinks about the world.  It was something about Liz Cheney.  It was like five or six words long but that proved to be too many for my ADD.  Oh well!

AMV Of the Day: Toxic (Kuroshitsuji)


With Saturday coming to a close, now seems like a good time for another AMV of the Day with Britney!

Anime: Kuroshitsuji

Song: Toxic (Britney Spears)

Creator: Nyoko Hazuki

(As always, please consider subscribing to this creator’s YouTube channel!)

Past AMVs of the Day

Frontier Marshal (1939, directed by Allan Dwan)


When Wyatt Earp (Randolph Scott) arrives in the town of Tombstone, he takes the law in his own hands by preventing a local outlaw named Indian Charlie (Charles Stevens) from destroying the saloon owned by Ben Carter (John Carradine).  For his trouble, Earp is beaten up by Carter’s men.  Earp, however, does get a  job as the town’s new marshal.

After some initial weariness, Wyatt befriends an alcoholic dentist and gunfighter named Doc Holliday (Cesar Romero).  While Earp keeps the peace in Tombstone, Doc is torn between two women, dancehall girl Jerry (Binnie Barnes) and his ex-girlfriend, Sarah (Nancy Kelly).

With Carter and his man planning on robbing a payroll train and also kidnapping frontier performer, Eddie Foy (played by the real Foy’s son, Eddie Foy, Jr.), it is only a matter of time before Earp takes on Carter at the legendary O.K. Corral.

Frontier Marshal was only the second sound film to be made about Wyatt Earp’s time in Tombstone and it was the first to use Earp’s name.  (In the first film version of the story, also called Frontier Marshal, Earp’s name was changed to Michael Wyatt.)  This was because Wyatt’s widow was offended by some of the material that was included in the biography that served as the basis for Frontier Marshal and threatened to sue anyone who wanted to make a movie out of it.  In order to get her permission to make the film, 20th Century Fox agreed that no reference would be made to Wyatt’s marriage in the film.  Mrs. Earp ended up suing anyways.  20th Century Fox settled.

As for the film, it’s in no way historically accurate and it pales in comparison to My Darling Clementine, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, Tombstone, and the Star Trek episode where Kirk, Spock, and McCoy thought they were in the old west.  It is, however, better than The Gunfighters episode of Dr. Who.  Randolph Scott is convincing as an upright and law-abiding Wyatt Earp, quite a contrast to the real Wyatt.  The movie though is stolen by Cesar Romero, who plays Doc Holliday as being pathologically self-destructive.  Cesar Romero is not necessarily the first name that comes to mind when you think of a great western actor but he’s very convincing here.  John Carradine is a perfect villain and keep an eye out for Lon Chaney, Jr. as one of his henchmen.  Unfortunately, the final gunfight feels rushed and, for all the build up, it isn’t as exciting as it should be.  Frontier Marshal will mostly be of interest to those curious to see how Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp, Tombstone and the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral were portrayed in films before they became a sacrosanct part of the mythology of the Old West.

Frontier Marshal was later remade, as My Darling Clementine, by John Ford.  Ward Bond, who played Morgan Earp in Ford’s film, plays the original town marshal in Frontier Marshal.  Charles Stevens, who plays Indian Charlie in Frontier Marshal, was often falsely described by the Hollywood publicity mill as being the real-life grandson of Geronimo.  He also appeared in My Darling Clementine, once again playing the role of Indian Charlie.  It was one of the nearly 200 films he made before he died in 1964.

4 Shots From 4 Jim Jarmusch Films


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday of one of the most important and independently minded filmmakers of the past 40 years, Jim Jarmusch!

It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Jim Jarmusch Films

Stranger Than Paradise (1984, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Tim DiCillo)

Down by Law (1986, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Robby Muller)

Dead Man (1995, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Robby Muller)

Coffee and Cigarettes (2003, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Tom DiCillo)

Music Video of the Day: Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through by Meat Loaf (1993, dir by Michael Bay)


Meat Loaf, Rest in Peace.

To be honest, I knew Meat Loaf more as an actor and an occasional reality show participant than I did as a musician.  Whenever I saw him interviewed, he seemed like a nice guy.  He definitely came across as being a bit eccentric but the same can be said of almost any worthwhile artist.  He was a musical performer with his own unique style and name.  And, as is obvious by the reaction to the news of his passing, his music touched a lot of people.

Today’s music video of the day was obviously selected to honor his memory.  That said, this video is also interesting as an early example of the work of future action maestro Michael Bay.

You can’t run away forever
But there’s nothing wrong with getting a good head start
You want to shut out the night, you want to shut down the sun
You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart
Think of how we’d lay down together
We’d be listening to the radio so loud and so strong
Every golden nugget coming like a gift of the gods
Someone must have blessed us when he gave us those songs
I treasure your love, I never want to lose it
You’ve been through the fires of hell
And I know you’ve got the ashes to prove it
I treasure your love, I want to show you how to use it
You’ve been through a lot of pain in the dirt
And I know you’ve got the scars to prove it
Remember everything that I told you
And I’m telling you again that it’s true
When you’re alone and afraid, and you’re completely amazed
To find there’s nothing anybody can do
(Keep on believing and you’ll discover baby)
There’s always something magic
There’s always something new
And when you really really need it the most
That’s when rock and roll dreams come true
The beat is yours forever, the beat is always true
And when you really really need it the most
That’s when rock and roll dreams come true for you
Once upon a time was a backbeat
Once upon a time all the chords came to Life
And the angels had guitars even before they had wings
If you hold onto a chorus you can get through the night
(Get you through the night)
I treasure your love, I never want to lose it
You’ve been through the fires of hell
And I know you’ve got the ashes to prove it
I treasure your love, I want to show you how to use it
You’ve been through a lot of pain in the dirt
And I know you’ve got the scars to prove it
Remember everything that I told you
And I’m telling you again that it’s true
You’re never alone cause you can put on the phones
And let the drummer tell your heart what to do
(Keep on believing, and you’ll discover baby)
There’s always something magic
There’s always something new
And when you really really need it the most
That’s when rock and roll dreams come true
The beat is yours forever, the beat is always true
And when you really really need it the most
That’s when rock and roll dreams come true, oh for you
(The beat is yours forever)
(That’s when rock and roll dreams come true)

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Revenge of the Ninja (dir by Sam Firstenberg)


After his wife and most his family is murdered by a rival clan, ninja Cho Osaki (Sho Kosugi) leaves Japan for the United States.  Not only is he leaving his home country but he’s also abandoning his ninja heritage.  As he explains to his mother (Grace Oshita), he no longer has any use for the violent old ways.  From now on, he just wants to sell dolls!

In America, Cho prospers and his mother continues to teach Cho’s young son, Kane (Kane Kosugi), how to defend himself.  When Kane is confronted by a bunch of bullies while walking home from school, he kicks their asses while his grandmother watches approvingly.  GO, KANE!  Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with a movie that opens with a bunch of obnoxious 11 year-olds getting beaten up by a 9 year-old.

Cho has found success opening art galleries and selling dolls.  He’s proven that he doesn’t need to be an elite assassin in order to be happy.  However, Cho’s mother doesn’t trust Cho’s business partner, Braden (Arthur Roberts).  She says that there’s something obviously evil about Braden but Cho doesn’t agree.  Well, it turns out that mom’s right!  Braden is evil.  He’s using the dolls to smuggle heroin into the country!  When the local mob boss (Mario Gallo) refuses to agree to Braden’s terms, Braden decides to wage war on the Mafia. It turns out that Braden is a ninja himself!

When members of the Mafia turning up dead in weird ways, the police bring in a local martial arts instructor named Dave (Keith Vitali).  Confused by the murders, Dave decides to consult with a friend of his to determine whether or not a ninja could be responsible.  That friend just happens to turn out to be Cho, who confirms that there is obviously a ninja in America but who also refuses to fight that ninja because Cho has abandoned the violence of the past and, as he explains it, he’s got a new art gallery opening soon.  Of course, what Cho doesn’t know is that the ninja is his own business partner….

The 1983 film Revenge of the Ninja has an overly complicated plot but the story that it tells is relatively simple.  Cho is done being a ninja.  Then, his family and his girlfriend Cathy (Ashley Ferrare) end up getting caught in the middle of a turf war between Braden and the Mafia and Cho is forced to break his pledge to lead a life of non-violence.  Revenge of the Ninja was produced by Cannon films.  It was preceded by Enter the Ninja, which featured Kosugi as a villain who fought Franco Nero, and it was followed by Ninja III: The Domination, in which Kosugi played a ninja assassin whose spirit ended up possessing a young aerobics instructor.  Of the three Cannon Ninja films, Revenge of the Ninja is the least interesting, as it doesn’t feature a star as charismatic as Franco Nero or a plot twist as wild as an aerobics instructor getting possessed.  Revenge of the Ninja does, however, feature several exciting fight scenes and Sho Kosugi’s athletic prowess goes a long way to making up for the fact that he’s not a particularly expressive actor.  Fans of low-budget but kinetic martial arts action should get a kick and a punch out of Revenge of the Ninja.

Finally, Revenge of the Ninja may not be the best ninja film ever made but it is a Cannon Film and therefore, it’s worth watching.

Don’t F*ck With Cats : Isaac Moylan’s “The Maspeth Witch”


There’s an old rule in storytelling : write (or, in the case of a comic, write and draw) what you know — and then tinker around with it at the margins just a bit. After all, you want what you’re writing (or, again, writing and drawing) to be at least marginally more interesting than “real” life, right?

That’s the theory, at any rate, and it’s served many a novelist (or, in this case, a cartoonist — I know, I know, I need to stop with this shit already) well over the years, the latest being Isaac Moylan, who parlays his intimate knowledge of the arts “scene” and the city of New York into an unassumingly absorbing tale and throws in a dash of the supernatural for good measure in his new self-published graphic novel, The Maspeth Witch. Just authentic enough to ring true, just fantastical enough to keep you turning the pages, for a full-length debut (Moylan’s apparently dabbled here and there in short-form comics but makes his living in freelance commercial illustration) it’s a surprisingly assured work that knows both how to maintain a reader’s attention and how to make sure what flaws it does have don’t in any way appreciably detract from the (sorry to be crass, but) finished product.

By way of brief (and deliberately truncated so as to avoid “spoilers”) synopsis, our protagonist here, grounded-but-nominally-ambitious young(-ish) artist Miriam is preparing for her “big break” gallery show when an act of casual cruelty toward a cat engenders a chain reaction of events that quickly turns the lives of her and her husband, Moshe, into — well, a “living hell” might be putting it strongly, but then again, by the time all is said and done, maybe it’s not. Suffice to say, both the title of this review and the title of the book itself make complete sense — I’m just being an asshole and not giving you full context for them in the here and now. Mama didn’t raise no snitches and all that, but you’re a smart person — you can probably figure it out. I mean, everybody knows what any self-respecting witch’s “familiar” animal of choice is, right?

The big “plus” here, as one would expect given his background, is Moylan’s richly detailed art. His people look like real people, both when it comes to their faces and their bodies, and the attention he pays to the so-called “little things” really pays off : he draws buildings, backgrounds, and environments really well. Normally I’m not a huge fan of photo-referencing, but I’ll give him a pass for leaning on it here because he utilizes it as an enhancement in his work, rather than making it the backbone of it, and that’s a crucial distinction because it means good, old-fashioned, freehand illustration is still what he most relies on for his visual storytelling — as any real artist damn well should, at least in this admittedly cantankerous old-timer’s opinion.

Where Moylan could stand to hone his craft a bit more, though, is in the area of narrative fluidity. While most of his dialogue is reasonably crisp and authentic, and his main characters are genuinely likable (and still relatable even when they’re not), he has a tendency to use exposition as a crutch, both when he’s setting the stage initially and when he wants to move things along, and sometimes that can break up his story’s natural rhythm. To his credit, he always gets his footing back in fairly short order, but there is an art to hitting precise story “beats” in organic (or at least seemingly organic) fashion that Moylan is still learning. No harm or shame in that, of course, but prospective readers should be prepared to make allowances for a bit of “clunkiness” to rear its head from time to time within what is, all told, an otherwise enjoyable and well-crafted comic.

If I had to pinpoint Moylan’s greatest strength, in a word I’d say it’s his composition. He’s got an eye for truly cinematic “camera angles” and his sense of perspective is incredibly firm and even a bit on the playful side — which tells me that he knows what he’s inherently good at and isn’t afraid to get creative with it. As time moves on and he becomes more comfortable with the fundamental differences between drawing and cartooning, I have a feeling we may find he’s got a truly great comic or graphic novel in him. Until then, this book serves to announce the arrival of an intriguing new talent who’s the “chops” to go far, and it’s a fun, compelling, and interesting yarn, to boot. I’ll be keeping an eye out for what Moylan does next, and in the meantime I would be surprised at all to find myself re-reading this a time or two.

******************************************************************

The Maspeth Witch is available for $15 from Isaac Moylan’s website at https://isaacmoylan.net/maspethwitch

Also, this review is “brought to you” by my Patreon site, where I serve up exclusive thrice-weekly rants and ramblings on the world of comics, films, television, literature, and politics for as little as a dollar a month. Subscribing is the best way to support my continuing work, so I’d be very pleased if you’d take a moment to give it a look by directing your kind attention to https://www.patreon.com/fourcolorapocalypse

Tumbleweed Trail (1946, directed by Robert Emmett Transey)


I know that I said yesterday that I was done with Eddie Dean westerns but I decided to watch one more, just because it was short and, based on the other Eddie Dean films I had seen, I assumed that it would be undemanding. 

(I was right.)

Tumbleweed Trail opens with Brad Barton (Bob Duncan) and his group of colorfully named henchmen (one is named Dead-Eye) ambushing and apparently killing a rancher named Bill Ryan (Kermit Ryan), who also happens to be Barton’s half-brother.  Barton wants to take control of Ryan’s ranch and he’s even forged a will to to convince the land office to give it to him instead of Ryan’s children.  If this plot sounds familiar, it’s because much of it was recycled for Black Hills.

What Barton did not count on was the arrival of singing cowboy Eddie Dean (played by real-life singing cowboy Eddie Dean) and his sideick, Soapy (Roscoe Ates).  Eddie and Soapy get jobs working on Ryan’s ranch.  Eddie finds time to sing a few songs and to fall for Bill’s daughter, Robin (Shirley Patterson).  Everyone loves Eddie’s singing but he’s not make much progress when it comes to proving that Barton’s will is a fake.  Just when it seems like not even Eddie and Soapy will be able to stop Barton, there’s a “surprise” ending that you’ll see coming from a mile away.

This one is uninspired, though some of my reaction could be due to having already seen Eddie Dean go through a similar plot in Black Hills.  Eddie sings a lot but that’s about all he does in this routine poverty row western.  Bob Duncan is a generic villain.  Of the three Eddie Dean films that I’ve watched, Tumbleweed Trail was the most forgettable.  It’s for fans of the genre only.

Eddie’s horse in Tumbleweed Trail is played by Flash.  Flash gets second billing, above Roscoe Ates.

This, I’m pretty sure, was my final Eddie Dean movie.