Game Review: Hercules! (2021, Leo Weinreb)


Hercules! is an entrant in 2021 Interactive Fiction competition.  Browse and experience all of the games by clicking here.

Usually, I don’t like to start a game review by quoting a huge chunk of text from the game but the opening to Hercules! and the game’s response to the first few commands that I typed in will tell you a lot about whether or not this game is for you.

From Hercules!, by Leo Weinreb:

“Hi! My name’s Hercules, and I want to be a hero!”

That was your opening line to the Gods on the glowing marble steps of Mount Olympus. There was a beat of silence as your words rang through the air – and then a roaring, hysterical fit of laughter that could not be quelled.

You can’t really blame them, you suppose – you don’t exactly fit the heroic mold. You’re near-sighted, scrawny, constantly allergic, and have far more phobias than a demigod should. Your spiteful stepmother Hera discounts you out of hand, and even your father Zeus is skeptical at best. But you know you can be as great as the Gods themselves if only someone would just give you a chance!

As luck would have it, the day after your meeting with the Gods, your cousin Eurystheus offered you a temp job. Finally, you’ve been given a chance to prove yourself, and you’ll be sure not to squander this opportunity! Let’s see, this to-do list he gave you can’t be all that hard…

Main Road
You are on a plain dirt road leading east to the land of Tiryns, where your cousin Eurystheus serves as king.

>verbose
Hercules! is now in its “verbose” mode, which always gives long descriptions of locations (even if you’ve been there before).

>x me
You’ve never been one for vanity, but you give yourself a good once-over. Your limbs are scrawny and weak, almost spaghetti-noodle like, and your acne hasn’t improved since middle school. Your spectacles slide down your nose so much that you’ve gotten into a habit of just pushing them back up again, and your height is considerably below average. Sure you may not be much to look at, but you’d rather be brainy than brawny any day. Give me a good instruction manual and some Albuterol and nothing is impossible!

This game imagines a Hercules who, for lack of a better term, is a nerd.  If you think being a nerd is difficult in the modern world, just try to being one in ancient Greece, at a time when muscles and ludicrous feats of strength are everything!  Determined to prove yourself, you accept the 12 impossible tasks that have been assigned to you by your cousin.

This is a fun game.  Obviously, the main appeal of the game is the way that it pokes fun at Greek mythology but the writing is also consistently funny and the NPCs are all enjoyably quirky and weird.  The puzzles aren’t too difficult and, fortunately, you can download a walkthrough.  I laughed several times while walking through Hercules!  There’s not many IF games that I can say that about.

Play Herclues!

International Horror Film Review: The Brood (dir by David Cronenberg)


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Canada!  It always seems like such a nice country until you watch a David Cronenberg film.  Hailing from Toronto, Cronenberg started his film career with two satirical, black-and-white science fiction shorts and then went on to become one of Canada’s best-known filmmakers.  At a time when most people associated Canada with politeness and maple syrup, Cronenberg made visceral and often-disturbing films, ones that often mixed sexuality with graphic body horror.  At a time when the genre was being dominated by Italian filmmakers, Cronenberg brought a uniquely Canadian sensibility to horror.

Take 1979’s The Brood, for instance.

The Brood tells the story of one very doomed marriage.  Frank (Art Hindle) and Nola (Samantha Eggar) Carveth are fighting for custody of their five year-old daughter, Candice (Cindy Hinds).  (Not coincidentally, Cronenberg was going through his own custody battle when he first came up with the idea for The Brood.)  Nola, who has been emotionally scarred by both her alcoholic parents and her troubled marriage to Frank, is a patient at Somafree Institute.  Her psychotherapist, Dr. Hal Raglan (Oliver Reed), practices a technique called “psychoplasmics.”  Though it’s not easy to describe (and, wisely, Cronenberg doesn’t spend too much time trying to justify the science of it), it basically involves channeling anger and suppressed emotions into body modification.  What you or I might consider to be a hive or a welt is what Dr. Raglan would call a major breakthrough.

Frank is skeptical about Dr. Raglan’s theories but he still takes Candice to visit her mom.  However, when Candice returns from one visit bruised and scratched, Frank is convinced that Nola has been abusing her.  Hoping to both win custody of Candice and prove that Dr. Raglan’s methods are dangerous, Frank starts his own investigation into just what exactly has been happening at the Somafree Institute.

That’s when the children start to show up.  The children are small, with pale skin and light hair and oddly featureless faces.  They never smile.  They never speak.  They show up without any warning and violence always seems to follow them.  They attack both Nola’s mother and father.  When Nola suspects that Frank might be having an affair with Candice’s teacher, two of the children suddenly appear in her classroom.  Candice is scared of the children but still seems to have some sort of connection to them…

Even if you didn’t know this was a Cronenberg film, it would take just one look at the snow-covered landscape to identify The Brood as being a Canadian film.  As was often the case with Cronenberg’s early horror films, the imagery is frequently cold and chilly.  However, The Brood is not a cold film.  With its look at dysfunctional families and its emphasis on Frank’s attempts to protect his daughter, The Brood is actually one of Cronenberg’s most emotional films.  It’s a film about not only anger but also how people deal with that anger.  The killer kids are both literally and metaphorically children of rage.

Even by the standards of Cronenberg, things get grotesque.  Fortunately, the film’s talented cast keeps you interested, even when the bloody visuals might make you want to find a nice comedy to watch instead.  Art Hindle and Cindy Hinds are sympathetic as the father and daughter.  Oliver Reed keeps you guessing as to what exactly Dr. Raglan is actually trying to accomplish.  Nicholas Campbell and Robert A. Silverman, two members of the Cronenberg stock company, both make an impression in smallish roles.  And Samantha Eggar totally throws herself into her role, turning Nola into an absolutely terrifying monster.

Though it never quite reaches the flamboyant heights of either Scanners or ShiversThe Brood is still an effective horror film.  As opposed to some of his other films of the period, Cronenberg actually seems to not only care about the characters in the film but it also comfortable with encouraging us to care about them as well.  As a result, The Brood becomes about more than just trying to shock the audience.  The Brood is a film that sticks with you.

The Brood (1979, dir by David Cronenberg DP: Mark Irwin)

4 Shots From 4 Mario Bava Films


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we pay tribute to one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, the one and only Mario Bava!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Mario Bava Films

Black Sunday (1960, dir by Mario Bava)

Kill, Baby, Kill (1966, dir by Mario Bava)

Lisa and the Devil (1973, dir by Mario Bava)

Shock (1977, dir by Mario Bava)

A Blast From The Past: Shake Hands With Danger (dir by Herk Harvey)


Director Herk Harvey

Since I’m going to be sharing Herk Harvey’s Carnival of Souls on Saturday, I’ve been preparing by showing some of the short films that Harvey directed before and after making his only feature. 1980’s Shake Hands With Danger was actually one of Harvey’s final films and, needless to say, it came out long after Carnival of Souls.

This short film is all about being safe while working with heavy machinery. If Candace Hilligoss had shown more caution, she wouldn’t have had to shake hands with danger in Carnival of Souls. See, it’s all connected! Welcome to the Herkiverse.

Here’s the film. Watch and learn:

Horror Film Review: Dementia 13 (dir by Francis Ford Coppola)


So, imagine that the year is 1963 and you are the legendary producer/director Roger Corman. You’ve just finished shooting your latest film and it turns out that you didn’t spend all of the money that you had allocated to make it! You’ve got an Irish castle at your disposal and some extra cash. Why not assign your ambitious assistant to make a quick little movie that’s specifically designed to cash-in on the success of Psycho and it’s numerous imitators?

And that, of course, is how Francis Ford Coppola came to direct his first film. Today, of course, Coppola is best known for directing three of the best American films of all time, The Godfather, The Conversation, and The Godfather Part II. (Some people would include Apocalypse Now in that list, as well.) In 1963, he was just another aspiring filmmaker making his debut under the watchful eye of Roger Corman.

Coppola both wrote and directed Dementia 13. The film’s a pretty nifty little horror/mystery. Of course, the plot doesn’t make much sense if you give it too much thought but any fan of the Roger Corman-style of film making should be used to that by now.

Luana Anders plays Louise Haloran, the film’s greedy femme fatale. When we first meet her, she’s calmly watching her husband drop dead of a heart attack. After learning that she’s not going to be receiving any sort of inheritance because her husband died before his mother, Louise decides to invite herself to the Haloran family castle, where her mother-in-law, Lady Haloran (Eithne Dunne), is about to take part in an annual ceremony that is meant to pay tribute to Haloran’s dead daughter, Kathleen. Looking for a way to try to trick Lady Haloran into making Louise her heir, Louise tries to fool Lady Haloran into believing that Kathleen is trying to contact her from beyond the grave.

Got all that? Because I’m not going to try to type it out again.

Anyway, I don’t want to spoil the rest of the plot but let’s just say that it all leads to a midnight swim and a shocking axe murder. Who could be the killer be? Could it be one of Louise’s two brother-in-laws, Richard (William Campell) and Billy (Bart Patton)? Could it be the local doctor, Justin Caleb (Patrick Magee?) Or how about Richard’s fiancee, the oddly named Kane (Mary Mitchell?” Or how about Simon (Karl Schnazer), the local poacher? Or maybe Kathleen really has risen from the dead? Or how about….

Well, look, it could be a lot of people. Dementia 13 has a labyrinth plot and it’s got a few twists that you probably shouldn’t spend too much time thinking about. It’s very much a young director’s film but, at the same time, that’s also the film’s greatest strength. Coppola reportedly got in trouble when the film went overbudget (which is something that had never previously happened on a Corman film) but the end result is a film that features several spooky visuals, an ominous atmosphere, and one very shocking murder. You wouldn’t necessarily watch a film like Dementia 13 and think that the director would go on to make something as great as The Godfather. But Coppola’s talent, even if it’s a bit unformed, is still very much noticeable while watching his directorial debut.

Speaking of watching the film, it’s in the public domain so it’s very easy to watch! Pick up a Mill Creek 50-DVD box set and there’s a good chance you’ll find Dementia 13 included within. Or, you can just go over to YouTube and watch it for free!

Enjoy!

Horror On The Lens: Gammera The Invincible (dir by Noriaki Yuasu and Sandy Howard)


Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that 1966’s Gammera The Invincible is not really a horror film.  Maybe there was a time when people found the idea of a giant, fire-breathing turtle to be scary but I kind of doubt it.

But let’s think about this!  What better time is there to watch a movie about giant, fire-breathing turtle than in October?

Seriously, this is a fun movie and if you’ve got some time to kill this morning, I guarantee this movie will make you smile.

As I wrote in my 2014 review of this film, Gammera is one hell of a turtle.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Dangerous Type by The Cars (1979, directed by ????)


On August 1st, 1981, MTV premiered. Over the course of 24 hours, 116 unique music videos were played on MTV.  Yes, there was a time when the M actually did stand for music.

The 94th video to premiere on MTV was this performance clip for The Cars’s Dangerous Type.  Dangerous Type was never officially released as a single but that didn’t keep it from becoming one of the band’s most popular song.

Enjoy!

The First Videos Shown on MTV:

  1. Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles
  2. You Better Run by Pat Benatar
  3. She Won’t Dance With Me by Rod Stewart
  4. You Better You Bet By The Who
  5. Little Suzi’s On The Up by PH.D
  6. We Don’t Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard
  7. Brass in Pocket by Pretenders
  8. Time Heals by Todd Rundgren
  9. Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon
  10. Rockin’ in Paradise by Styx
  11. When Things Go Wrong by Robin Lane & The Chartbusters
  12. History Never Repeats by Split Enz
  13. Hold On Loosely by .38 Special
  14. Just Between You And Me by April Wine
  15. Sailing by Rod Stewart
  16. Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
  17. Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon
  18. Better Than Blue by Michael Johnson
  19. Message of Love by The Pretenders
  20. Mr. Briefcase by Lee Ritenour
  21. Double Life by The Cars
  22. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins
  23. Looking for Clues by Robert Palmer
  24. Too Late by Shoes
  25. Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  26. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart
  27. Surface Tension by Rupert Hine
  28. One Step Ahead by Split Enz
  29. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty
  30. I’m Gonna Follow You by Pat Benatar
  31. Savannah Nights by Tom Johnston
  32. Lucille by Rockestra
  33. The Best of Times by Styx
  34. Vengeance by Carly Simon
  35. Wrathchild by Iron Maiden
  36. I Wanna Be a Lifeguard by Blotto
  37. Passion by Rod Stewart
  38. Oliver’s Army by Elvis Costello
  39. Don’t Let Me Go by REO Speedwagon
  40. Remote Control and Illegal by The Silencers
  41. Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton
  42. Little Sister by Rockpile with Robert Plant
  43. Hold On To The Night by Bootcamp
  44. Dreamin’ by Cliff Richard
  45. Is It You? by Lee Ritenour 
  46. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
  47. He Can’t Love You by Michael Stanley Band
  48. Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon
  49. Rapture by Blondie
  50. Don’t Let Go The Coat by The Who
  51. Ain’t Love A Bitch by Rod Stewart
  52. Talk of the Town by The Pretenders
  53. Can’t Happen Here by Rainbow
  54. Thank You For Being A Friend by Andrew Gold
  55. Bring It All Home by Gerry Rafferty
  56. Sign of the Gypsy Queen by April Wine
  57. The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Kate Bush
  58. All Night Long by Raindow
  59. Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie
  60. Rat Race by The Specials
  61. Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads
  62. Victim by Bootcamp
  63. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna be Alright) by Rod Stewart
  64. Cruel to be Kind by Nick Lowe
  65. A Little In Love by Cliff Richard
  66. Wild-Eyed Southern Boys by 38 Special
  67. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush
  68. Celebrate The Bullet by The Selecter
  69. More Than I Can Say by Leo Sayer
  70. A Message To You, Rudy by The Specials
  71. Heart of Glass by Blondie
  72. Oh God, I Wish I Was Home Tonight by Rod Stewart
  73. Kid by The Pretenders
  74. Come What May by Lani Hall & Herb Alpert
  75. I Got You by Split Enz
  76. Sister Disco by The Who
  77. Fashion by David Bowie
  78. Love Stinks by J. Geils Band
  79. Johnny and Mary by Robert Palmer
  80. Tomorrow by Shoes
  81. Prime Time by The Tubes
  82. Cruel You by Shoes
  83. Calling All Girls by Hilly Michaels
  84. I Was Only Joking by Rod Stewart
  85. Let’s Go by The Cars
  86. Do You Remember Rock’N’Roll Radio by The Ramones
  87. Ridin’ The Storm Out by REO Speedwagon
  88. You’re In My Heart by Rod Stewart
  89. So Long by Fischer Z
  90. I Don’t Want To Know by Robin Lane and the Chartbusters
  91. Go Back Home Again by Andrew Gold
  92. Time For Me To Fly by REO Speedwagon
  93. Rough Boys by Pete Townshend