Guilty Pleasure No. 44: Paranormal State

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“We are students…..we are seekers…..and sometimes we are warriors. And each time we help someone, I feel like I’m one step closer to finding the truth…”

The words opened up all 86 episodes of Paranormal State, a “reality” show that ran on A&E from 2007 to 2011. They were delivered by Ryan Buell, who was the head of the Pennsylvania State University Paranormal Research Society. Buell also narrated every episode of Paranormal State and perhaps the most memorable thing about the show was the strangely robotic sound of his narration. Buell delivered his lines in a memorably flat monotone, one that rarely betrayed a hint of emotion while talking about the spirits that the Team supposedly dealt with in each and every episode. Even when Buell talked about the demon that had supposedly been stalking him since childhood, he did so with all the emotion of Alexa confirming a grocery list.

Paranormal State was one of those shows where people would around in a dark house with an infrared camera while randomly saying stuff like, “Did you feel that? I felt a suddenly cold wind in this room. You’ll just have to take my word for it.” Occasionally, a light would get knocked over or a door would close on its own. Along with asking each other if they had felt anything, the members of the Paranormal Research Society were also fond of asking, “Did you hear that?” and “Oh my God, did you just see that?” I always liked it when they would review the film in slow-motion and point at a barely visible smudge on the image and say, “There it is. There’s the spirit.” Ultimately, it would usually lead to a medium being called in and wandering around the house and going, “It’s time for you to move on, spirit. Whisper something if you’re here. Oh my God, did you hear that?”

It was all pretty obviously staged and kind of dumb but I still enjoyed the show because I liked the idea of a bunch of college students skipping class so that they could spend the night in a deserted barn while waiting for the ghost of a angry farmer to push over a pitchfork or something. I mean, if my college had given credit for ghost hunting, I totally would have done it! The show may have been fake but it was fun to pretend that it was real.

After the show ended, Ryan Buell had his personal difficulties, which I’m not going to dwell on. As for the show, it actually lives on. I recently came across reruns on the FYI network and I’ve lost track of the number of people I’ve met who, like me, can recite that opening narration by heart. Seriously, it just gets in your head.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

4 Shots From 4 Films: 28 Days Later, Bubba Ho-Tep, Halloween: Resurrection, The Ring

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, we’re using 4 Shots From 4 Films to look at some of the best years that horror has to offer!

4 Shots From 4 2002 Horror Films

28 Days Later (2002, dir by Danny Boyle)

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002, dir by Don Coscarelli)

Halloween Resurrection (2002, dir by Rick Rosenthal)

The Ring (2002, dir by Gore Verbinski)

Horror Film Review: The Guardian (dir by William Friedkin)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

OH MY GOD! THAT TREE IS EATING PEOPLE!

“You mean the tree played by Kevin Costner?”

No, no. You’re thinking of the wrong Guardian, my imaginary friend. This Guardian is from 1990 and it’s the killer tree film that was directed by William Friedkin.

“William Friedkin directed a killer tree film?”

Apparently so.

“What’s it about?”

It’s kind of hard to say. Camilla (Jenny Seagrove) is hired as a nanny and proceeds to not only claim the baby as her own but also tries to seduce the baby’s father away from his wife.

“I think it’s cute the way that you always mention the actor’s name is parenthesis….”

Well, that’s what we’re taught to do. But back to The Guardian. The Guardian could also be a movie about a druid who steals babies so that she can sacrifice them to a tree God.

“You mean like that big talking tree from the from Lord of the Rings?”

I guess. Or maybe Camilla is a reincarnation of Lillith, the demon who kidnaps babies in the night.

“Poor Lillith, so misunderstood.”

Or maybe Camilla is a witch who can make wolves and tress do her bidding!

“Like Sabrina?”

I don’t want to talk about fcking Sabrina.

“Did you mean to spell the f-word that way?”

I try to keep my actual cursing to minimum. That way, it means something.

“That’s sweet.”

Whatever. Back to The Guardian! It’s also possible that Camilla actually is a tree that’s come to life and is now doing evil tree stuff!

“So, what you’re saying is that the film is unclear about just what exactly Camilla’s deal is?”

That’s it, exactly! The Guardian is a notorious mess and it’s probably significant that this is one of two films that William Friedkin doesn’t even acknowledge in his otherwise tell-all autobiography, Friedkin Confidential. Reportedly, there were problems on the set. From what little I’ve found online, it would appear that Friedkin originally wanted the movie to be about a mentally deranged woman who thought she was a druid. But the producers wanted a horror film about a woman who actually was a druid. Somehow, this eventually led to The Guardian becoming a movie about a woman who is actually a tree. What’s funny is that the film itself feels like a typical crazy nanny Lifetime film, up until the moment that one of Camilla’s employers attempts to take a chainsaw to that tree.

“Trees don’t like chainsaws.”

Yeah, no joke. Anyway, before all that happens, Camilla is killing people left and right but yet no one seems to notice. She doesn’t make any secret of the fact that she’s trying to seduce Phil (Dwier Brown) but Phil’s wife, Kate (Carey Lowell), doesn’t seem to care. Instead, Phil and Kate attempt to set Camilla up with their friend, goofy Ned (Brad Hall). It doesn’t take long for Ned to get devoured by a bunch of wolves. That’s what happens when you walk in on a druid nanny turning into a tree, I guess.

“Isn’t Brad Hall married to Julia Louis-Dreyfus?”

Indeed, he is! And you don’t see him in any movies nowadays so I guess getting eaten by wolves was kind of the last straw. But the movie gets even weirder! There’s also an odd scene in which three gang members just happen to be walking through the woods when they come across Camilla and the baby. They kind of pop up out of nowhere and they immediately turn out to be some pretty bad guys. Luckily, a tree pops up and kills the all. Is the tree Camilla or is the tree someone else? Who knows?

“Gang members in the woods? You mean like in Friday the 13th Part 3?”

Strangely enough, yes. Even stranger is the fact that no one notices anything strange about Camilla. To be honest, there are times that Camilla might as well be wearing a sign that reads, “Druid” but no one seems to notice. Then again, it’s debatable whether or not she was actually a druid. She might actually be a tree and I guess it’s understandable that something like that wouldn’t naturally occur to anyone. I mean, I think we’ve all probably met a druid or two but someone who is actually a tree? Well, that’s unusual.

“Very unusual!”

Anyway, The Guardian is a messy film and I’m afraid that I’m probably making it sound more fun than it actually is. If you do watch it, please be sure to chime in with your thoughts on whether or not Camilla is actually a tree. I look forward to hearing your opinion!

“Don’t you want to hear my opinion?”

No.

Yes, this an actual scene from The Guardian.

Horror on the Lens: Hands of a Stranger (dir by Newt Arnold)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After concert pianist Vernon Paris (James Stapleton) loses his hands in an auto accident, he is the recipient of a double hand transplant. Unfortunately, Vernon isn’t happy with having a stranger’s hands and he fears that he’ll never be able to play the piano again. Even worse, he soon becomes convinced that the hands are evil and are trying to force him to commit murders.

But is it the hands or Vernon’s own unstable mind that’s responsible his actions?

This 1962 horror film was the fourth adaptation of the Maurice Renard’s The Hands of Orlac. As opposed to other film adaptations of Renard’s novel, Hands of Stranger plays up the ambiguity of whether the recipient of the hands is truly possessed or if he’s just using the hands as an excuse to indulge in his dark side.

Enjoy!

Artwork of the Day: Cliffside Castle (by Lou Marchetti)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Dazzling Erin

by Lou Marchetti

Music Video of the Day: Black River Killer by Blitzen Trapper (2009, dir by Daniel Elkayam)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

If Cormac McCarthy was writing and directing music videos, the end result would probably be a lot like this brilliant video for Blitzen Trapper’s Black River Killer.

The song may be about a man who is thrown in jail on a whim and charged with the murder of a woman that was found on the Sunset Strip but, as soon becomes obvious, sometimes whims turn out to be correct. The song’s narrator is a murderer, one who kills randomly and without giving it much of a second thought. According to an interview Eric Earley gave to Rainn Wilson, the killer is actually a supernatural force that possesses one individual after another. So, even if the current Black River Killer ceases his activities, a new one will take his place.

Enjoy!