TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.6 “Demons” (dir by Lesli Linka Glatter)

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Leonard Wilson

Twin Peaks

Episode 6, “Demons” opens with Maddy (Sheryl Lee) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle), who are caught in the act of trying to steal Laura Palmer’s Diary from Harold Smith (Lenny Von Dohlen, Electric Dreams). Harold threatens them, telling them they are “unclean” and are just like the others. Advancing on them, Maddy screams just as James Hurley (James Marshall) rushes into the house, breaking them up. In the scuffle, the Diary is dropped, which Donna makes a move for. Harold, however, intercepts it and rushes after them. He’s only able to make it to the entrance of the house. Donna, Maddy and James regroup at the street in front of Harold’s house (as his agoraphobia keeps him from following them).

James and Donna embrace as they fall to their knees, leaving Maddy staring along with just a hint of contempt. Donna assures James that they’re fine, and James advises that they need to go to the police with what they’ve found. We then cut back to Harold, who is spraying his flowers and trying to hold his composure. He fails, the anger getting the best of him and howls in frustration.

Back at an undisclosed location that looks like a biker club, Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) carries the rescued Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn) inside, laying her gently on a nearby bed. Meeting up with Hawk (Michael Horse), they try to revive Audrey. Cooper notices the needle marks on her arm, and suggests she’s been drugged. As she comes to, she tells Cooper she prayed for him to find her. It thankfully resolves part of her kidnapping arc.

Near Harold’s, James and Donna get a car for Maddy, who’s sent home. This gives Donna and James some time to talk. Donna suggests that because he had the diary, Harold could very well be Laura’s killer. James asks her to stop going off alone anywhere. The two reconcile their relationship with a kiss.

Cooper and Sherriff Truman (Michael Ontkean) are going over what happened at One Eyed Jack’s. Audrey’s going to pull through from the heroin she was given. Truman shows Cooper a picture of the man who killed Blackie, Jean Renault (Michael Parks). Truman explains that Jean was the one after Cooper in revenge for what happened to his brother Jacques. Cooper is beside himself. Having crossed the border – twice, he adds – others were in danger for his actions. She was bait for him to come after by Renault. Truman reassures Cooper, telling him he’s one of the best lawmen he’s known, but that he thinks a bit too much. They relax over a cup of coffee.

In the next scene, Cooper meets with Ben Horne (Richard Beymer). Handing him the briefcase, Cooper informs Horne he was able to rescue Audrey without giving up the money. Horne is of course delighted to have his cash returned to him, but you can tell from his demeanor that he really doesn’t care, even when told that Audrey almost overdosed. Definitely Father of the Year material there.

Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook) wheels Leo (Eric Da Re) into Shelly Johnson’s (Madchen Amick) place. Their expectations are high for the payout they should receive for taking care of Leo. “Yeah…well, Leo is special to us both.” Bobby says. When given the check, Shelly’s smile quickly fades. They learn they’re only getting about a fraction of the $5000 a month should receive. The effect of this would be for Shelly to quit her job. So now they’re stuck with taking care of Leo and with little to show for it. Credit goes to Eric Da Re for keeping such a straight face in this scene and throughout the episode.

In the Precinct interrogation room, Donna and Truman are going over the events of the evening. Donna explains that Harold has Donna’s secret diary. When asked, Donna mentions that she didn’t see the Diary itself, but it was read to her, and that it did have Laura’s handwriting in it. With the previous incident that put Dr. Jacoby in the hospital Truman is reluctant to believe Donna. Before they can get into more detail here, Gordon Cole (David Lynch, in front of the camera this time) arrives. Cole is Agent Cooper’s supervisor, who brings the news that Al Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) wouldn’t be returning. He also provides the forensic information that Rosenfield wouldn’t bring, due to earlier issues with Truman. Fibers from a Vicuna coat were found in the location where Cooper was shot. Additionally, the needle from the One-Armed Man appeared to be a mix of medicines. The last bit of information were some papers found near the train site, papers that could be from a Diary. It definitely seems as if the One-Armed Man may have some clues to provide. Sure enough, in the middle of their conversation, Hawk brings in Phillip Gerard (Al Strobel), and everyone heads to Truman’s office for further questioning.

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Now comes my favorite scene in this episode. Cooper brings Ben to see Audrey. From the moment she sees him, there’s nothing but venom. I had hoped that she would say something about One Eyed Jack’s and what occurred there in front of Cooper (particularly between the two of them). I wanted Cooper to be able to maybe arrest Ben on the spot, or at least break his glasses with his fist, but it doesn’t come to pass. All Audrey really has to say is that “I’ve seen so much.” in regards to the horrors she must have experienced. Ben is as vile as he’s ever been, maybe more so now, because he doesn’t even understand what he’s done wrong. In previous scenes, you can see him manipulating things, but here, from his point of view, it’s just a reunion. It still looks bad.

Nadine (Wendy Robie) returns home from shopping, full of joy. Ed (Everett McGill) welcomes her with open arms, playing along per doctors orders. With her ‘parents’ away and the house to themselves, she offers the notion of a little intimate time between the two. Ed seems to be a little caught off guard, but it’s good to see Nadine in such great spirits here.

Josie is given a one way ticket to Hong Kong by Mr. Lee. She states that she still has one more day and that she needs to receive the monies owed to her from both Ben Horne and the Insurance tied to the mill burning down. Lee notes that “Mr. Eckhardt will make it worth your while.” Lee also suggests that he’ll kill Truman if she doesn’t leave by Midnight. So, who is this Eckhardt, and what does he have hanging over Josie?

The next day, we find Maddy sitting by some water. James rides up on his motorcycle and takes a seat next to her. They talk about what happened between them. Maddy speaks on how close she was to Laura, and the attention she received from James on seeing her as Laura. “For a while, I got to be somebody different.” She gives James that nudge towards Donna, saying they’re best for each other. Since Maddy is back to being herself, it’s time for her to return home.

At Ben Horne’s office, Josie won’t leave until she’s paid. Ben goes on to tell her that he has the key to a dossier on Josie, including information on her husband’s boat explosion. Josie has a key of her own to personal information on Ben, and if anything happens to her, it would lead authorities right to him. They move on equal terms, he gives her a check for the money owed to her and she passes to him what he needs. Though I’m not fond of these two characters together, I liked the way the scene was set up.

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At Shelly’s place, a small party is being held for Leo. who can only hum on a kazoo. However, when Shelly and Bobby start to make out on the kitchen table, Shelly catches sight of movement from Leo. This causes her to freak out, and they go back to treating Leo better. Leo’s case falls into some cake, but the scene ends with a bit of laughter.

Another great scene has Gordon Cole finally running into Dale Cooper at the precinct. Both are happy to see each other, and Gordon mentions that Cooper reminds me of a small Mexican “Chi-wow-wow”. They head into Truman’s office to speak privately about something, but with Cole’s hearing loss, the increased volume from both parties echoes through the entire floor. They discuss an issue that Cooper had in Pittsburgh and the hopes the Palmer case doesn’t turn the same way as that one. Cooper assures Cole that he’s fine and there’s nothing to worry about. Cole present Cooper with an envelope that was sent to the head office. When Cooper opens it, it reveals a chess deal “P to K-4” from who they assume is from former agent Windom Earle. I’m not sure what the impact of this clue is yet, though so many episodes remaining, it may come to light later on.

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At the Great Northern, Ben Horne welcomes Leland Palmer (Ray Wise) back into the company. Leland lets Ben know that he’s more than 100% okay, though he does take the time to snatch some hairs from a nearby stuffed cat. When Ben explains that a group from the Orient is looking to get into a deal he’s working on, Leland suggests a legal loop that could keep the transaction locked up indefinitely. Winning over Ben, it’s agreed to keep Leland on.

Nighttime. Truman arrives at the lodge to find Josie leaving. She tells him she’s sold the mill, but he tells her to stay. He tells her he loves her (more than once), but it’s simply not enough. Josie is out of the door, and presumably, out of Truman’s life.

Ben Horne has a small sitdown with Mr. Tojamura. Tojamura is looking for the other part of the deal they made. He gave Ben 5 Million dollars, but hasn’t seen anything come back. When he plans to withdraw, Ben Horne tries to stall Tojamura. Before they can get into any deeper conversation, Ben hears a familiar voice singing. Leland is once again lost in song.

After the song, Pete Martell approaches Tojamura and inquires about the music. Tojamura has nothing to offer, and keeps the conversation short.

The closing scene may be the best scene in the episode. We’re in the conference room of the precinct, with Phillip Gerard, Dale Cooper, Harry Truman, Hawke, and Gordon Cole are present for a conversation. The group refuses to give Phillip his medicine, which contains trace amounts of Haloperidol – used to treat both Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder. Note that the two illness are different things, contrary to popular misconception. Schizophrenia is a break in being able to think clearly (voice hearing, hallucinations, thought insertion or removal), where DID covers multiple identities that are created to deal with trauma (much like M. Night Shayamalan’s Split).

Getting back to the show, without the medicine, Phillip “becomes” MIKE. MIKE explains that he’s after BOB. Mike explains he is an inhabiting spirit that uses MIKE as a host. BOB is “eager is fun, he wears a smile. everybody run.” Mike goes on to add that he’s been after BOB for 40 years, and that BOB inhabits a human host in the same way MIKE does. When asked where BOB can be found, MIKE gives a description that sounds exactly like The Great Northern Hotel.

And that’s the episode. Now, we’re closer to Laura’s killer than ever. BOB is in the Hotel, but where is the major question.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

AMV Of the Day: Angel With A Shotgun (Fairy Tail)

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s AMV of the Day comes from 2012 and I have to admit that I’m picking it for purely personal reasons. I’m spending this weekend with my sisters and, if any group of people could be called Angels with shotguns, it’s the Bowman Girls.

Along with featuring The Cab’s Angel With A Shotgun, this AMV uses clips from Fairy Tail.

Anime: Fairy Tail

Song: Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab

Creator: Mimiluexify

Past AMVs of the Day

Artwork of the Day: Sunset in Hawaii

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Dazzling Erin

By Erin Nicole

Music Video of the Day: All The Things by Chrysta Bell & David Lynch (2014, dir. Nicolangelo Gelormini)

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

That was a music video. I can’t say it did anything for me. I like the classic Lynch dark interior. I also appreciate the contrast between that, and the outside part, which was shot at the Cloister in Naples, Italy. Also, the log is a tribute to Lynch. I can’t say I get it, beyond Lumberton and the Log Lady from Twin Peaks.

Here’s the complete description given on the YouTube video:

“‘All The Things’ music video was filmed primarily at an historic structure in Naples, Italy, called the Cloister.
The Fondazione Tramontano Arte mission is to transform this 16th century gem, an exceptionally rich symbol of
the Neapolitan Renaissance, from it’s current state to a thriving center for the arts.
The ‘Made in Cloister’ project will make of the Cloister a venue and a creative center for
implementing new ways of reviving ancient artisanal skills through the vision of contemporary
artists, musicians and designers.
Support Made in Cloister Project.”

I refuse to copy from it, so here is a link to a nice little interview concerning this video over on Oyster Magazine. I will mention the most humorous part of the interview. We find out that Chrysta Bell has a sense of humor. Lynch asks her, “why is it that everytime you see me, you leap on me and smother me with kisses?” The most important part of her response is that “the leaping part is just for fun.” If there isn’t a compilation video of Chrysta Bell leaping on David Lynch, then there should be.

Like most young directors, Nicolangelo Gelormini doesn’t have a large body of work I can point to.

The rest of the people who worked on the video are listed in the credits at the end of the video. Oddly, David Lynch is listed as a producer in the description of the video, but not in the credits. I don’t know what that is about.

Enjoy!

You’ve Watched The Trailer. Now check out this new Last Jedi poster from Lucasfilm!

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Along with a trailer, Lucasfilm released a new poster for The Last Jedi earlier today. It’s half Luke and half Kylo Ren with Rey firmly in the middle, assuming the stance of a warrior.

Should we read into anything about how her light saber starts out as blue before turning red towards the top? Some say that red is the color of the dark side so what should we make of the entire poster being tinted crimson? Has Luke gone over to the dark side or are we just reading too much into a poster?

A Movie A Day #97: Dracula’s Widow (1988, directed by Chistopher Coppola)

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Since we are looking at and reviewing each and every episode of Twin Peaks, every movie-a-day this month has a Twin Peaks connection. Today’s entry, Dracula’s Widow, stars Lenny von Dohlen, who played reclusive shut-in Harold Smith on Twin Peaks.

Von Dohlen plays Raymond, the nerdy owner of a Los Angeles wax museum. When he receives six antique chests from Romania, he does not realize that one of them contains, Vanessa (Sylvia Kristel). Vanessa is a vampire and soon, she is killing the usual collection of perverts, muggers, and occultists. She also bites Raymond and turns him into her Renfield. Under her influence, Raymond even dumps his girlfriend, Jenny Harker (Rachel Jones).

However, Vanessa is not just a vampire. Vanessa is the wife of Dracula, himself. When she demands that Raymond take her to her husband, Raymond tells her that Dracula was killed nearly a hundred years ago by Prof. Van Helsing. (How did Vanessa not already know this?) Vanessa hunts down and kills Van Helsing’s grandson (Stefan Schnabel) but this brings both her and Raymond to the attention of Inspector Lannon (Josef Sommer).

In the 1990s, Dracula’s Widow was a late night HBO mainstay and it still has a cult following. I could sit here and count out all the ways that Dracula’s Widow does not make any sense but I’ve got a deadline. For all of this low-budget movie’s flaws, Dracula’s Widow is saved by the sexy presence of Sylvia Kristel and the atmosphere that can only be provided by neon lighting and a fog machine. Josef Sommer’s hard-boiled narration, in which he refers to Los Angeles as being Tinsel Town, is another highlight. As for Lenny von Dohlen, his performance as Raymond feels like a dry run for his turn as Harold Smith.

Dracula’s Widow was the directorial debut by Christopher Coppola, whose uncle Francis would later make Bram Stoker’s Dracula and whose brother, Nicolas Cage, ate a cockroach while making Vampire’s Kiss.

From the Vaults: THE LIVING CHRIST SERIES- CRUCIFIXION & RESURRECTION (Cathedral Films 1951)

Posted on April 14, 2017 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

Not all religious-based films are Hollywood epics. In 1951, an outfit named Cathedral Films, determined to create inspirational movies for the masses, made a 12-part series titled THE LIVING CHRIST SERIES, each about a half hour in length. Part 12 covers the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ, played by Robert Wilson. There are a couple actors you my recognize, but most you won’t. The narrator is Art Gilmore, voice of a thousand classic trailers. In honor of Good Friday, here’s a blast from filmmaking of the past, CRUCIFXION AND RESURRECTION:

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Here’s The First Trailer For An Obscure Art Film Called Star Wars: The Last Jedi!

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, everyone!

Well, here’s the teaser for an obscure little art film called Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It’ll be interesting to see if anyone takes the time to discover this little film. Hopefully, it’ll make its way to Alamo Drafthouse at some point because the trailer is actually pretty intriguing. It looks like it might be kind of exciting and there’s a voice over that suggests that there’s actually more going on in this film than just pure spectacle for the sake of spectacle.

“I know only one truth. It’s time for the Jedi to end.”

That doesn’t sound good.

(By the way, Mark Hamill actually speaks in this trailer. So, all of you who thought the ending of Force Awakens indicated that Luke Skywalker had been rendered mute — well, you’re wrong! Or, actually, it might be more correct to see that I’m wrong since I think I was the only one who thought that.)

The Last Jedi comes out on December 15th. I get the feeling that Arleigh and most of the TSL staff have already bought their tickets.

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.5 “The Orchid’s Curse” (dir by Graeme Clifford)

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(This Good Friday review of the fifth episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks is dedicated to my mom, Gloria Elena Marchi, who would have been 59 years old today. So, it better be a good episode, right?)

This episode of Twin Peaks was directed by Graeme Clifford, an Australian filmmaker who has several films and tv shows to his credit. As an editor, Clifford worked on some of the best films of the 70s, several of which share the surrealistic vision of David Lynch. Among the films that Clifford worked on: Robert Altman’s Images, Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now and The Man Who Fell To Earth, and the ultimate cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Orchid’s Curse (and, as I pointed out yesterday, I love the pulpiness of that title) is the only episode of Twin Peaks that he directed. It’s also the first of four episodes to be credited to writer Barry Pullman.

Let’s take a look at The Orchid’s Curse!

Following the haunting opening credits, we get Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). Dale is waking up in bed and, as always, talking into his tape recorder. He had a dream that he was eating a tasteless gum drop, just to wake up and discover that he was chewing on one of his ear plugs. As I listened to Dale speak, I breathed a sigh of relief. After the previous episode had him acting all out-of-character, it was nice to have the old Dale back.

Dale notices an envelope taped underneath his bed. It’s a note from Audrey, telling Dale that she’s gone up to One-Eyed Jack’s. Okay, Dale — now you know where Audrey is! GO RESCUE HER!

At the police station, Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) comes in and wow, is he mad! Oh wait — he just has to go to the bathroom. As he explains to Harry (Michael Ontkean), two retired school teachers live in the house next to the Palmer summer home. Neither of them have ever seen BOB before but apparently, they made him drink two pots of tea before telling him that.

Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) tells Harry that she’s going to down to Tacoma to see her sister, who has just had a baby. She offers to stick around long enough to show the temp how to do everything. Harry tells her that they’ve got it covered but Lucy obviously knows better. As an administrative professional, I related so much to Lucy in this scene.

At the Johnson house, a salesman named Mr. Pinkle (David Lander) is showing Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick) a product that he calls “porto-patient.” Basically, it’s a harness and crane that allows you to drag around a comatose person Shelly and Bobby are obviously planning on having some fun with Leo. Sure, how could that backfire? Bobby does worry that porto-patient appears to be a death trap and that they don’t want to kill Leo because then they won’t get his disability checks. Pinkle explains that it’s either porto-patient or a wheelbarrow.

Meanwhile, Judge Sternwood (Royal Dano) is holding court at the Roadhouse, for some reason. In my last review, I forgot to mention that Judge Sternwood travels with a much younger “law clerk.” I’m going to guess that the character of Judge Sternwood was based on Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.

William O. Douglas

Anyway, it’s time for Leland Plamer’s arraignment. Prosecutor Lodwick (Ritch Brinkley) argues that Leland (Ray Wise) should not be given bail because of the seriousness of the crime and “the oft-witnessed instability of Mr. Palmer after the death of his daughter.” Harry speaks on Leland’s behalf. Harry says that Leland is a well-respected member of the community.

(Meanwhile, Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz) gets even more adorable by doing courtroom sketches, all of which are pictures of the back of Leland’s head.)

Judge Sternwood released Leland on his own recognizance, a ruling that will prove to be so ill-thought that it actually could have been issued by William O. Douglas. (But I kid the late Judge Douglas!)

At the Harold Smith House, Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) shows up with another Meals on Wheels tray. Harold (Lenny von Dohlen) is waiting for her, a glass of wine in his hand.

“What’s behind those deep blue eyes today?” Harold asks. Oh, Harold!

Donna says that she’ll share her life with Harold, as a part of his “living novel,” but only if he lets her read Laura’s secret diary. Harold offers to read the diary to her but he emphasizes that the diary must not leave his living room.

Donna starts telling Harold about her life but quickly turns things on him, asking where he’s from and where he grew up. Harold’s from Boston and he says he grew up in books. As I watched this scene, I found myself marveling at Lenny von Dohlen’s wonderful performance. Harold is definitely creepy but von Dohlen still brought a definite sweetness to the character. I actually found myself starting to get a little bit mad at the way that Donna was manipulating him.

Seriously, Donna, don’t hurt Harold!

Donna, apparently, was not listening to me because she snatched Laura’s diary and, teasingly, used it to lead Harold outside. Harold immediately had a panic attack, which should teach Donna an important lesson about trying to act like Audrey.

Back at the Road House, Judge Sternwood rules on Leo’s competency. Leo’s lawyer is played by songwriter Van Dyke Parks and, as I watched this scene, I found myself wondering why every lawyer and judge in Twin Peaks — with the exception Leland Palmer — insisted on dressing like an extra in a 1950s western. I mean, it kind of works and I guess you could make the argument that Judge Sternwood holding court in the Roadhouse is meant to pay homage to Judge Roy Bean.

In other words, Roy Bean + William O. Douglas = Judge Sternwood.

Judge Sternwood summons Cooper and Harry to the bar so that he can deliberate on Leo’s competency while his “law clerk” serves up drinks. Sternwood drinks something called a Black Yukon Sucker Punch. Yuck.

Anyway, because he’s not a very good judge, Sternwood rules that Leo is not competent to stand trail and sends him home with Shelly.

At the Hurley house, Big Ed (Everett McGill) and James (James Marshall) attempt to adjust to a new life in which one-eyed, middle-aged Nadine (Wendy Robie) thinks that she’s a teenager. Nadine goes to get a drink and rips off the refrigerator door. Apparently, that’s something that’s going to be happening from now on.

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) enters his all-wood office and is informed that a Mr. Tojamura is here to see him. Mr. Tojamura is the Japanese man that Ben saw last night, the one who smart viewers will have already figured out is actually Catherine (Piper Laurie) in a not very convincing disguise. Anyway, Tojamura says that he represents an investment firm that wants to invest in the Ghostwood Project and Ben gets all excited and…

WHY ISN’T BEN WORRIED ABOUT AUDREY!?

See, this is one thing that bothers me about season 2 of Twin Peaks. During season 1, Ben was greedy and amoral. He wasn’t a great father but, at the same time, he did love his daughter. That was what made Ben an interesting character. But, in season 2, Ben is just a caricature of an evil businessmen. Reportedly, after not interfering during season 1, ABC interfered a lot in season 2 and it’s obvious when you see how a character like Ben has been robbed of all his nuance.

Ben gets rid of Mr. Tojamura and then suddenly, Hank (Chris Mulkey) pops out of a secret passage and informs Ben that Cooper is on his way. On schedule, Cooper enters the office and Jean Renault (Michael Parks) calls from Canada. Jean wants Cooper to drop off a briefcase full of money at a merry-go-round, at midnight. “Leave it by the horse’s head.”

After Cooper gets the briefcase and leaves, Hank once again pops out of the secret passage. Ben tells Hank to follow Cooper, to make sure the money is delivered, and to bring back Audrey. Hank is confused. Shouldn’t Cooper bring back Audrey? No, Ben explains, Cooper isn’t coming back. Also, because Ben is cartoonishly evil now, he tells Hank to try to bring back both Audrey and the money.

That night, at the Hayward House, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) are conspiring on a way to ruin Harold’s life. Donna will distract Harold and Maddy will sneak into Harold’s house and steal the diary. Maddy, who tends to jump at her own shadow, seems like the worst possible person to use in a situation like this but then again, maybe that’s exactly why Donna’s using her.

See, this what I think is going on in Donna’s head: Maddy gets caught, Harold kills her, and then Donna gets James to herself. Donna has crossed into the dark side!

At One-Eyed Jacks, Jean and Blackie (Victoria Catlin) are rehearsing how Jean will get the briefcase and then kill Cooper with a blade that he has hidden underneath his sleeve. Can Jean and Blackie just die now? They’re kind of boring as villains. And every minute they’re alive, that’s another minute wasted on this stupid Audrey-bring-held-hostage subplot.

At the police station, Andy is struggling to figure out how to answer the phone and transfer calls. That’s right! Nobody appreciates a good administrative professional until she’s gone! Anyway, Andy calls the lab and discovers that he’s no longer sterile. As Doc Hayward puts it, “They’re not just three men on a fishing trip. They’re a whole damn town.” So, Andy could be the father of Lucy’s baby! Woo hoo! Excited, Andy calls Lucy in Tacoma and is shocked to learn that Lucy is not visiting her sister. Instead, she’s at Adams Abortion Clinic. “OH MY GOD!” Andy say.

In Harry’s office, Harry and Cooper are planning a raid on One-Eyed Jack’s. Hopefully, it won’t take them as long to attack as it took Rick to stand up to Negan on The Walking Dead. (Rick Grimes and Sheriff Truman have a lot in common but that’ll have to wait for a future post.)

Deputy Hawk comes in and says that he found out that the One-Armed Man has been staying at a motel but nobody’s seen him in a while. Hawk found a hypodermic needle and a weird drug in the motel room. “Weird, deep smell,” Hawk says. Harry sends Hawk home, apparently forgetting that Hawk is a member of the Book House Boys and, therefore, there’s no reason to leave him out of the planning of the raid.

At the Double R Diner, Maddy rushes in and asks for a cup of coffee to go. She doesn’t even notice that James is sitting at the counter. James looked a little offended and I was worried he was going to get all weepy but instead, he just said, “Hi.” Maddy says that she can’t talk now and, under Donna’s bad influence, she lies and says that she’s going back home.

At the Harold Smith House, Donna is talking to Harold. Donna tells Harold about the time that she and Laura went down to the Roadhouse to meet boys. The story starts with Laura talking Donna into wearing a short skirt and ends, as these often do, with skinny dipping. Harold, who would have loved Twitter, says that the story was beautiful. Meanwhile, Maddy lurks around outside.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Cooper and Harry are also sneaking around outside. They’re both dressed in black, like Daniel Craig in the poster for SPECTRE, so we know that it’s commando time! As an owl — “The Owls are not what they seem,” — watches, Harry takes out one of the guards. They sneak through the backdoor and find themselves in the brothel section of One-Eyed Jacks, which is full of young women in lingerie and middle-aged men who all give off a “Ted-Kennedy-About-To-Drive-Mary-Jo-Kopechne-Home” sort of vibe.

Outside the Harold Smith House, Maddy drinks the coffee that she got at the Double R. Meanwhile, inside the house, Harold is telling Donna about orchids. Harold and Donna finally kiss and, overwhelmed, Harold has to leave the room. This is Maddy’s cue to break into the house and help Donna ruin the man’s life.

As Maddy lurks towards the house, Cooper is busy lurking around One-Eyed Jacks. “Hi,” Cooper says, grabbing Jean’s main lackey, “would you take me to Audrey Horne please?” Cooper is led to a bedroom, where an unconcious Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) is tied up. After punching out Jean’s main henchwoman, Cooper untied Audrey.

Meanwhile, Harry is watching Jean and Blackie talking in another room when, suddenly, Jean stabs Blackie to death. Well, that one down. Jean spots Harry and runs off. At the same time, Cooper runs up, carrying Audrey over her shoulder. Cooper and Harry start to run for the exit when they run into a bald man holding a gun.

“Goddammit,” I yelled, “I thought this stupid kidnapping plot was finally over!”

Suddenly, the bald man falls dead. There’s a knife on his back. It turns out that Deputy Hawk not only followed Harry and Cooper to One-Eyed Jack’s but he’s totally cool with killing people. Hawk’s a badass, y’all.

Outside One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank watches as Cooper, Harry, Audrey, and Hawk run off. He calls Ben but is then grabbed from behind by Jean.

At the Harold Smith House, Maddy is looking for the diary but, because Maddy is generally incompetent and no longer wearing her big red glasses, she is struggling to find it. Donna, who is in the greenhouse and waiting for Harold to return, tries to direct her. You can tell Donna’s thinking, “Why couldn’t it have been me and Laura looking for Maddy’s secret diary instead? That would have been so much easier!”

Suddenly, Harold’s back! He’s brought Donna big flower! Harold’s so sweet.

Despite Donna’s efforts to distract him, Harold sees Maddy stealing Laura’s diary. Cornering Maddy and Laura and holding a scary-looking gardening tool, Harold shouts, “Are you looking for secrets!? Do you know what the ultimate secret is!?”

At this point, I was hoping Harold would quote Jean Renior’s The Rules of the Game and say that the ultimate secret is that everyone has their own good reasons. Instead, Harold says that it’s “the secret of knowing who killed you,” and proceeds to use the tool to cut open his face!

NO, HAROLD!

Maddy screams, as well she should. Way to destroy someone’s life, Maddy. I realize that it was Donna’s plan but Maddy’s the one who took too long to find the diary.

Plus, I just don’t like Maddy.

Cooper to the rescue! Yesssssssss!

Anyway, that’s it for The Orchid’s Secret. This was a definite improvement over the previous episode, even with the kidnapping subplot. The performances of Lara Flynn Boyle and Lenny von Dohlen elevated this entire episode while Pullman and Clifford did a pretty decent job recreating the unique style of Lynch and Frost.

All in all, a worthy episode.

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