I think this is the only other obviously shot on digital video low budget film from the 2010s I’ve seen this year. The other being the mildly enjoyable A Portrait of Female Desperation (2012). Which by the way has a user review left by who I can only assume is the director of the movie I recently reviewed called I Married With A Vampire. Somehow I think it’s the same Jay Raskin. But this isn’t a mockumentary like that movie was. This is about killer animals.
The movie begins with a house we see through a dutch tilt. Of course that means things aren’t right. And yep, the cat tries to attack a girl so she hits it with a frying pan and destroys it in a garbage disposal. Then cut to a kid that is her son calling her on the phone because it looks like the dad has just been killed by a killer squirrel.
The squirrel tries to chase the kid down, but he gets to a car and jumps on top of it. The mom shows up and shoots the squirrel. But that’s when the dog jumps out of the car and kills her offscreen. We are left seeing the kid hopelessly running away from the killer dog when the opening credits roll.
Clearly, Bill Cosby failed in Leonard, Part 6 because the animals have risen to destroy us. We now meet two of our three main characters. Two idiots driving around in a car for way too long in order to pad out the film. One delivers pizzas. They were going to go to a movie, but since they apparently live in that part of Texas where GPS fails, they don’t make it. However, they do find the Slumber Party Massacre Evil Dead cabin to deliver the pizzas too. Our main idiot spots a blonde with big tits so that means a sex scene. Sort of. But first this happens.
This is one of the dumbest sex scenes I have ever seen. All you need to know is that he loves this girl, and she is who he will be looking for during the rest of the movie. The next morning is when shit gets real. And by shit getting real, I mean puppets attacking people.
Hey, it’s still better than the CGI birds in Birdemic (2010)! Main idiot’s friend’s sister is at the party and she’s a bit of a badass in this. In fact, the rest of the movie can be summed up as Rachel (Stephanie Motta) and the idiots travel across country as she beats up animals.
Deer problem? She electrocutes that sucker till it burns.
Horse problem? She beats that horse to the ground with her fists and legs.
Bear problem? She cuts it’s head off with what I think is a sword she pulled out of thin air.
The rest of the film plays out like a zombie movie with the world crumbling around these three people as the boy and girl develop a relationship. The main idiot is trying to find the blonde because he thinks hopelessly that they are meant to be together. There’s even the crazy apocalypse DJ on the radio while they are driving.
It’s a stupid movie, don’t get me wrong, but it’s kind of fun. I really appreciated that when they could, they used actual animals or puppets. They obviously learned from those ridiculous scenes in Birdemic.
This one is fun for a bad monster movie night.