Agck!
I usually don’t have much faith in horror sequels but the trailer for Insidious 2 made me jump a few times.
Agck!
I usually don’t have much faith in horror sequels but the trailer for Insidious 2 made me jump a few times.
Hi there! I am happy to say that the trailer kitties with another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film trailers! Without further ado, here are this week’s trailers!
1) Splitz (1984)
2) The Folks at Red Wolf Inn (1972)
3) Class (1983)
4) Cocaine Wars (1985)
5) Racing Fever (1964)
6) The Death Curse of Tartu (1966)
What do you think, Trailer Kitties?
I agree, Trailer Kitties! Those trailers were kinda confusing…
Thinking back on the original Fast & Furious film, I still find it hard to believe it’s done so well over the years. The longevity of the films owe a lot to the Saw series, which seems fitting considering that the original director of that film will take over the reigns for the next installment. Both series have managed to take events from all of their films and weave this strange tapestry with it. Once you think one story is over, the writers somehow jump back to an earlier scene and pull out a new thread for everyone to follow. Gimmicky? Perhaps, but it works, at least for this tale.
To sum up Furious 6 in a nutshell, Dominic Toretto’s team has to help Hobbs (the lawman who was after them in Furious 5) stop a former SAS agent who is using cars to facilitate his acts of terror. Why get involved, one asks? Hobbs sweetens the deal by showing Dom that his formerly believed dead girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is…wait for it….not dead, and is working with these bad guys.
It’s like General Hospital with Cars. I’m such a sucker for this franchise.
If you’re new to the Furious films, the opening credits sum up the last 5 movies in a Spider-Man 2 like montage. You have your main heroes, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker), who are kind of like criminals only they take down bad guys to better others (or themselves). Along with them is Dom’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster), who is the mother of Brian’s baby boy, Jack (not to be confused with Jack Jack from The Incredibles). Then there’s the crew, made up of most of the characters from all of the Furious films leading up to 6:
From 2 Fast 2 Furious, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges and Tyrese Gibson return as two friends of Brian’s. Tej (Bridges) is the team hacker (wouldn’t be complete without one) and Roman (Tyrese) is the comic relief.
From Tokyo Drift (the 3rd and my personal favorite) comes Sung Kang, who plays Han. While he met his end in that film, every movie after the 3rd takes place somewhere before this film, believe it or not. This makes the ending of Tokyo Drift a little baffling when you see Toretto at the end of it. No matter what the writers decide to do with future installments, they’ll eventually have to circle back to how Dom got there.
From Fast & Furious. (No. 4) – We have Gal Gadot as Gisele, a former IDF member who was an accomplice to a drug cartel leader. Ironically, Gadot actually did some work with the Israeli forces, which I found interesting. She is the only member of that film to come back to the series as Don Omar and Tego Calderon sat this one out.
And finally from Fast Five, you have Hobbs (The Rock) and his former partner from Brazil, Elena (Elsa Pataky).
So, you have the setup. One of the things to understand about this (and some of the earlier ones) is that you’re working in a “Popcorn Reality”. The action’s all well and good, but in the course of all the driving, you’ll almost expect to see at least one or two action scenes or stunts that just don’t make any kind of practical sense. These GTFO moments are in great supply in Furious 6 – A runway chase that lasts a good 15 minutes, yet seems impossibly long for any plane to actually use for a take off. A “flip” car with the ability to send other cars launching into the air. In any other movie, most people would scoff and walk out. For this, it’s almost the norm and if you don’t care, it’s actually fun. Lin has been able to take the chase scenes about as far as they can possibly go, and I can’t really imagine what else they could try to push things, really.
Of particular note is Luke Evans, who plays the villain, Shaw. I didn’t really care for him in Tarsem’s Immortals, but was good here, trying to be as much a Bond baddie as he can. Another addition is Gina Carano, who takes the place as Hobbs partner this time around. She’s a bit more light hearted here than she was in Haywire, and gets to showcase her fight skills. However, in a movie that’s already packed with stars performing particular roles, she doesn’t really have much to truly do other than to be Michelle Rodriguez’s sparring partner. Not a terrible thing, just something I noticed.
Is it worth it? Well, considering that most of the movies that came out since Fast & Furious 6 was released haven’t fared too well (Yes, I’m looking right at you, After Earth), it’s a safe bet if you also understand that this all revolves around cars driving very smooth and fast with near unlimited shift points. If you don’t like cars or racing, this might not be your cup of tea. There’s a lot of shooting at some points, which might round things out for action fans. It’s a quick way to burn 2 hours. If you also managed to see at least the last film in the cinema, then this is a given – though you’ll probably be able to put 2 and 2 together before the story’s half done.
Also, do stick around once the credits start, as there’s a scene that will come up to help lay the groundwork for the next installment.
Full disclosure: I was a Kickstarter backer and beta tester for this game.
So recently, Asymmetric’s “Word Realms” was released to the public as a semi-finished product. I say semi-finished because, by their own admission, there are many changes still to go. If the studio name sounds vaguely familiar, it’s probably because you’ve happened across the popular browser-based game “The Kingdom of Loathing” in the past. As a long, long, long time fan of the browser based game, I simply couldn’t resist when the opportunity came to support their new endeavour – an animated game effort with (presumably) the same kind of sarcastic humour and potential, and one based even more promisingly in the realm of words.
So here’s the skinny. Word Realms challenges you to play a lot of “Scrabble”. The combat involves forming words out of randomly generated banks of letters. Each letter has a score value, and the higher the score, the more damage that you do. It’s really that simple. So if you’ve been dominating your friends at “Words With Friends” for the last five years, then you should find yourself quite at home here, but with a catch: the combat timer is somewhat swift, and you’ll need to think quickly about your word, rather than spending days on it. Generating valuable words quickly is as important a skill as knowing how to dump off the random “Z” letters that come into your life. Frankly, I found the experience quite immersive, but your own mileage may vary based on just how much you enjoy the word games in your life.
The problem with Word Realms is that, even explored to its utmost, there just isn’t that much girth to be explored. While the game definitely has the potential to absorb an entire afternoon away from you, I’m not sure it has much more than that. There’s a small amount of replayability, I suppose, and the game does have some fun mini-games (found through the story mode in the form of dream sequences; you’ll see) and a fairly deep crafting system. I still maintain that the core game-play is probably just not substantative enough for most single player gamers who are, frankly, looking for something to suck up their free hours. That said, the $11 price tag guarantees five or six totally engrossed hours. I’m not sure how much better most modern single player experiences do in terms of bang for your buck.
For what its worth, I enjoyed Word Realms. I backed it for substantially more than $11 and I certainly don’t regret that choice. If you’re looking for something to do it would be hard to go wrong with this title. Oh, and as for the acerbic wit of Kingdom of Loathing? If you enjoy the browser game the humour will translate easily to you.
Last week, we considered whether or not Out of Africa deserved the title of best picture of 1985. As of this writing, the votes would seem to indicate that most of you feel that it did not.
For this week, let’s jump ahead one year to 1986. According to the Academy, the five best films of the year were:
1) Children of a Lesser God, an adaptation of play about an angry deaf girl and the teacher who falls in love with her,
2) Hannah and Her Sisters, a Woody Allen film about three sisters and the neurotic people they know,
3) The Mission, a film about Jesuit missionaries in South America that also won the Palme d’Or at Cannes,
4) Room With A View, James Ivory’s super romantic adaptation of E.M. Forster’s novel,
and finally, the winner,
5) Platoon, Oliver Stone’s autobiographical film about the Viet Nam war.
Unlike Out of Africa, Platoon has remained a fairly respected winner. Still, was Platoon actually the best film of 1986? If I had been a member of the Academy back in 1986, I would have been torn between A Room With A View and Hannah and Her Sisters with my final vote going to Room With A View. How about you?
Now, here comes the fun part. Let’s say that Platoon turned out to be a disaster. Let’s say that Room With A View never made it over to American theaters and maybe Woody Allen decided to retire early. Let’s say that none of the best picture nominees had been eligible to be nominated. Which five films would have nominated in their place?
You can vote for up to five films and yes, write-ins are accepted!
(I voted for Blue Velvet, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Pretty In Pink, Betty Blue, and Something Wild.)
So, what did you do on Sunday night?
Myself, I watched The Adventures of Robin Hood on TCM. There I was, watching the film and posting comments on twitter about how superior Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood was to Russell Crowe’s when suddenly I realized that a lot of very strange tweets were appearing on my timeline.
One person tweeted, “WHAT THE FUCK, GAME OF THRONES!?”
Another tweeted: “OMG! #GoT”
And my personal favorite: “no, no, no, no, no #GameOfThrones.”
Later, I discovered that these people were reacting to the Red Wedding on Game Of Thrones. I have been using twitter since 2009 and I have never before seen so much anger and sadness as I did last night after the Starks were massacred on HBO.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy Game Of Thrones and I DVR every episode but, at that moment, I was really happy to be watching The Adventures of Robin Hood.
Whenever I watch The Adventures of Robin Hood, I think about one of my favorite Monty Python skits, the story of Dennis Moore, the highwayman who attempts to steal from the rich and give to the poor and discovers that the redistribution of wealth isn’t as easy as he originally figured.
Or, as the Dennis Moore theme song puts it: “He steals from the poor and gives to the rich … Stupid bitch!”
In honor of The Adventures of Robin Hood, I figured why not share this classic skit? If nothing else, maybe a little absurdist comedy is just what the doctor ordered for those of you who still haven’t recovered from the Red Wedding…
Given that the always-on-the-ball Lisa Marie Bowman already beat me to the punch with this one on these virtual “pages,” I won’t waste too much of your time, dear reader, on my post-mortem analysis of the decidedly dull, wannabe-mystical-and-“empowering” mess that is Will Smith’s latest vanity project, After Earth, and instead merely remark upon some — -well, remarkable facts.
The first being that precisely two scribes here at TTSL actually saw this thing, and my best guess is that we both saw it in empty theaters because, according to box office receipts from the past weekend, nobody else went. So Sony/Columbia owes us a debt of thanks. And maybe some free passes to some future release of theirs.
Secondly, I’d like to state for the record that this film actually isn’t the abysmal and abject failure so many have quickly taken to labeling it as being so much as it’s just thoroughly predictable and almost relentlessly dull. 1,000 years after the evacuation of the planet due to largely unspecified but apparently quite serious environmental devastation, emotionally distant military bad-ass-with-focus-group-tested -name Cypher Raige (Smith) and his son, Kitai (Smith’s kid Jaden) crash-land on the supposedly uninhabitable rock and must find a way to — yawn — survive while also learning to — yawn again — finally form the deep bonds of trust that all parents and their offspring are, y’know, supposed to have.
There’s a bog-standard “warrior monk” mentality that runs through this picture that confuses stoicism for honor and nonchalance for dignity, and while Smith seems to be ill at ease with the material, he’s really got no one to blame but himself given that the film’s plot was apparently hatched in his own mind and the whole thing’s a family affair, with the former “Fresh Prince” not only starring in it, supposedly having a hand in scripting it, and casting his son to appear alongside him, but with his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, grabbing a producer’s credit, as well. And while it might be tempting to lay a pretty fair share of the blame for this overwrought snoozer on M. Night Shyamalan’s doorstep, as well — especially given his thoroughly uninspiring track record over the past decade or so — the fact is that he’s pretty much acting as a director/co-writer-for-hire here, his fifteen minutes as Hollywood’s “next big thing” having apparently — finally! — run their course.
And weird as it sounds considering my disdain for pretty much anything he’s ever had his name attached to in the past, Shyamalan actually acquits himself reasonably well here. His direction doesn’t especially stand out in any respect, mind you, but you know what they say about how tough it is to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear. All in all, I got the distinct impression that he was at least trying to inject some life into some pretty goddamn listless proceedings.
His efforts certainly aren’t enough, though. LMB’s right that the film’s environmental message feels both heavy-handed and tacked on — shit, at least Birdemic was so hilariously inept at doing more or less the same thing that you couldn’t help but love it —but its New Agey emotional subtext is even more clumsy and ham-handed than its ecological one, and to me that’s where the film’s most egregious sermonizing is to be found.
Parents should love their kids and be nice to them? Wow, ya don’t say.
Anyway, there’s probably not much point belaboring the obvious any further here — I’ve never been a big fan of piling on, and as I said, I don’t find this flick so much actively bad as it is just dull, preachy, and without purpose apart from demonstrating to the world what an awesome, caring, understanding bunch the Smith/Pinkett clan is (after all, they’d never treat their kids like this in real life, right?). So there ya go — and there it goes, since all indications are that After Earth will probably “enjoy” a well-deserved short-lived run on our nation’s movie screens before slowly dying on the home video and cable TV vine. Hang onto your cash and catch it on TNT or TBS some Saturday afternoon a year from now.
HBO’s fantasy drama series, Game of Thrones, has gained the reputation of having the penultimate episode of the season (episode 9) play out a shocking event or moment that non-reader fans were not expecting. For fans of the show who have read the books the surprise is not as shocking but still worth the wait to finally see on the screen. Season 3 of the show looks to have shocked both types of fans.
In honor of the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones third season I’ve chosen the song which will forever go down in pop-culture history as the song that ushered in the “Red Wedding” to the tv landscape. It’s finally turned the series from must-see TV into one of those rare few shows that’s become an event that everyone will speak of for days, weeks, months and even years to come.
The Rains of Castamere
And who are you, the proud lord said,
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
that’s all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
as long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o’er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o’er his hall,
and not a soul to hear.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o’er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o’er his hall,
and not a soul to hear.
After Earth is the latest of many forgettable films to have been released in 2013.
The film’s plot — which will be familiar to anyone who has seen Oblivion or any other science fiction film — deals with a father (Will Smith) and his son (Jaden Smith). The father is a great military leader but is emotionally distant. (Will Smith, who is probably one of the most openly emotional actors working today, deals with being miscast by refusing to smile.) The son is desperate to prove himself to his father. When the two of them return to Earth (which was deserted a thousand years ago because of — you guessed it — pollution), their ship crashes. The father is critically injured and, of course, the son has to save both of their lives, deal with his past guilt, and become a man.
Or something like that.
Did you know that M. Night Shyamalan directed After Earth? If you didn’t, don’t feel bad. In the advertising campaign leading up to this film’s release, Columbia Pictures has treated Shyamalan’s involvement like a dirty secret. It’s understandable, really. After all, Shyamalan’s last two films were The Happening and The Last Airbender and you can only refer to him as being “the director of The Sixth Sense” for so long. That said, Shyamalan’s work here isn’t that bad. It’s not that memorable either. Instead, it’s the epitome of adequate and bland. Some scenes (like the crash landing on Earth) actually come close to being exciting but there’s little sense of wonder or surprise to the film’s version of the future and, while the majority of the film is about Jaden Smith trying to survive and conquer the cruelty of nature, the environment of After Earth never truly feels alive. Perhaps an Ang Lee or a Werner Herzog could have brought After Earth to life but all Shyamalan can do is keep the action plodding forward.
However, it’s unfair to put blame for After Earth on M. Night Shyamalan. If anybody can truly be considered the auteur of After Earth, it is Will Smith. Smith produced the film, came up with the film’s storyline, and gave the film’s lead role to his son. Thematically, After Earth fits into Smith’s feel-good, good-for-you brand of cinema. The problem, however, is that for an action film like this to work, you need a charismatic hero and, to judge from this film, Jaden Smith has inherited little of his father’s onscreen prowess. Fairly or not, it’s impossible to watch Jaden in this film without being aware that he (as opposed to an actor who doesn’t have a famous father) got the role solely because he was the producer’s son. As such, it’s far more difficult to forgive Jaden’s awkward screen presence than it might be otherwise.
After Earth is only 100 minutes long. It’s considerably shorter than both Iron Man 3 and the latest Star Trek film. However, when the film’s lack of surprise is combined with Jaden Smith’s bland lead performance, the end result is a film that feels a lot longer than it actually is.
When all I said and done, the only real question about After Earth is whether or not it’s worse than Oblivion. It’s hard to say because After Earth and Oblivion are both oddly forgettable sci-fi films with similar premises. In fact, while watching After Earth, I kept expecting Tom Cruise to pop up and say, “I thought I was the only man left on Earth!”
I guess the question really comes down to which film is more annoying and again, there are no easy answers. Considering how bland both Oblivion and After Earth really are, it’s interesting that both of them manage to feature some overdone accent work. It’s hard to know how to describe Will Smith’s vaguely Aruban (?) accent in After Earth but honestly, nothing could be more annoying than Melissa Leo’s butchering of the Southern accent in Oblivion. So, as far as bad accents are concerned, Oblivion has to be considered the winner.
(Add to that, as weird as Smith’s accent was, it could at least be justified by the fact that After Earth was meant to be taking place in the far future. There was absolutely no justifiable reason for Melissa Leo in Oblivion to sound like Cate Blanchett in Hanna.)
However, After Earth has a tacked-on environmental message, the type that makes Shyamalan’s The Happening seem subtle and intelligent by comparison. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not objecting to After Earth (or any other film) having a subtext. What I do object to is when a film uses an obvious and heavy-handed subtext to try to hide the fact that the movie itself isn’t that good. In the case of After Earth, the environmental message feels lazy and predictable. It almost feels as if, by paying lip service to a noble cause, Shyamalan is attempting to blackmail us into liking this film.
So, what’s worse? A bad accent or an insincere message?
Ultimately, that’s a decision that everyone must make on their own.
Or you could just ignore both After Earth and Oblivion altogether and instead make the effort to see and support truly unique films like Upstream Color.
The choice is yours.
