I will hold my incredible taste and not my complete lack of social contacts to “blame” for having never before heard of the supposed pop sensation Justin Bieber. But I remember NSync, the Backstreet Boys, and similar disasters: These unforgivable icons who severed unscrupulously from the first rule of popstar trash ethics. (If you suck horribly as a musician, you must compensate with nice tits.) It would appear however, as recently discovered by ambient artist Shamantis, that this Bieber fellow has had you all fooled. Those vile record producers took his 35 minute Sigur Rós-esque ambient masterpiece U Smile and sped it up into some five minute trashy pop single.

Or maybe the moral of Shamantis’s experiment is that sound is all relative. The worst garbage on the market can speak in tongues. The complete version of U Smile 800% slower can be found and downloaded below. An abbreviated youtube version follows:

http://soundcloud.com/shamantis/j-biebz-u-smile-800-slower