Last night, before going on vacation, I watched the SyFy original movie, Ghost Shark.

Why Was I Watching It?

Every Saturday night, I watch and live tweet a SyFy movie with the Snarkalecs.  Last night, we watched Ghost Shark.  Seeing as Ghost Shark was going to be my last SyFy film to watch before going on vacation, I knew that both the film and the snarkiness would have to keep me satisfied for the next two weeks.  Fortunately, both Ghost Shark and the Snarkalecs came through brilliantly!

What Was It About?

One of my huge problems with Sharknado is that, despite the title, there really wasn’t much tornado action.  However, Ghost Shark lives up to its title.  It’s called Ghost Shark and, by God, that’s what it’s about!

In short, a shark is killed by a bunch of rednecks who look like they’ve wandered over from an unaired episode of Duck Dynasty.  However, the shark comes back and, as you might guess, it’s looking for vengeance.  As a ghost, the shark has the ability to manifest itself out of any body of water and soon, it’s popping up in toilets, swimming pools, sinks, water slides, and an open fire hydrant.  (As the film’s brilliant tagline put it — “If you get wet, you die.”  Seriously, I would be so dead.)  It’s up to Ava (Mackenzie Rosman) and the town drunk (Richard Moll) to figure out how to stop the Ghost Shark!

What Worked?

Even if I hadn’t known beforehand, I would have guessed that Griff Furst had directed Ghost Shark.  Of all the directors who regularly direct films for the SyFy network, Furst is one of the best.  Along with making good use of his trademark Louisiana locations, Furst also knows how to maintain the perfect balance of excitement and humor.

It should also be noted that Ghost Shark is one of the few films where you really can’t predict who is going to survive and who is going to end up as sharkbait.  One reason why the ghost shark is an effective monster is because he will literally eat anyone, even characters who — in other films — would automatically be spared of any danger.

On a personal note, I have to say that the Snarkalecs were on fire last night.  Kelly Thul, in particular, earned a spot in the hall of fame for commenting, about two characters who had just gotten the upper halves of their bodies chomped off by the ghost shark, “They’re waisted!”

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.  Seriously, this was the best SyFy film since End of the World.  And, in case you were curious, it’s a hundred times better than Sharknado.

“Oh my God!” Just Like Me Moments

At one point, one future victim said, “It’s too hot to be a virgin” and if I had a dollar for every time I’ve used those exact same words, I would be one rich redhead.

Also, I related to the scene where the sprinklers go off in the local museum and end up soaking every character there.  Museums always get me wet too.  What can I say?  I love history.

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, it’s better just to stay dry.