What Lisa Watched This Afternoon #119: Killer Crush (dir by Anthony LeFresne)

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier this afternoon, I finally got a chance to watch the Lifetime original film Killer Crush.

Why Was I Watching It?

Killer Crush premiered last week but I missed it because I was at Easter Vigil with my family. However, I set the DVR to record the film. Then, I came home and I got wrapped up in doing about a thousand different things at once and it’s only been this afternoon that I finally got a chance to sit down and watch Killer Crush.

What Was It About?

It’s a story as old as the Lifetime network. A mentally disturbed young woman named Paige (Daveigh Chase) develops a crush on one of her professors (Rick Roberts). Paige gets a job working for the professor, taking care of his sick wife (Sydney Penny). Since the film is called Killer Crush, you can probably guess that things don’t go as well as one might hope.

What Worked?

As far as mentally disturbed crush movies are concerned, Killer Crush was pretty good. Rick Roberts and Sydney Penny both made for sympathetic victims. Meanwhile, Daveigh Chase fully committed herself to playing the unstable Paige and even managed to generate some sympathy for her self-destructive character. Director Anthony LeFresne kept the action moving at a good pace. The end result is an above-average, Canadian-made Lifetime film.

What Did Not Work?

As well-made as the film was, it was also rather predictable. As far as Lifetime movies about psychotic obsession are concerned, Killer Crush really didn’t bring anything new to the table.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to Paige’s relationship with her sister (Melanie Scrofano). Hopefully, if I’m ever involved in a murder, my sisters will be as concerned as Paige’s sister was.

Lessons Learned

Obsessive crushes never turn out well. Unless, of course, it’s my obsessive crush on James Franco…

What Lisa Watched Last Night #118: Stalked By My Neighbor (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime original movie, Stalked By My Neighbor.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, of course, the obvious reason was because it was on Lifetime and I love Lifetime movies. But, even if I wasn’t a Lifetime movie addict, I probably would have watched Stalked By My Neighbor. Stalked By My Neighbor is a great title. Whenever you see a Lifetime movie with the word “Stalk” in the title, you know that it’s going to be a good one.

What Was It About?

It’s a Lifetime homage to Rear Window! Jodi (Kelcie Stranahan) and her mother (Amy Pietz) move to the suburbs. A talented photographer, Jodi is still struggling to deal with the after-effects of a horrifying home invasion. Hiding out in her bedroom, Jodi watches her new neighborhood through the lens of her camera and eventually comes to believe that she may have witnessed the murder of a neighbor (Kelly Packard). While the police suspect that the murderer was the cute boy who lives next door (Grant Harvey), Jodi suspects that it may have actually been the dead woman’s niece (Katrina Norman). Soon, Jodi, camera in hand, is stalking her neighbors and trying to solve the mystery.

What Worked?

Stalked By My Neighbor was directed by Doug Campbell, who earlier this year gave us Sugar Daddies. As I previously stated in my review of Sugar Daddies, Campbell is one of the better filmmakers to regularly make films for Lifetime. (He also directed several of my favorite ….At 17 movies.) Much as he did with Sugar Daddies, Campbell strikes just the right balance between melodrama and realism. As both director and screenwriter, he pushes the story as far as it can go without allowing things to go overboard. The end result is a very entertaining film that is the epitome of why people like me love Lifetime movies.

Kelcie Stranahan was well-cast as Jodi and she had a lot of chemistry with Grant Harvey. As well, she and Amy Pietz were totally believable as mother-and-daughter. Wisely, while the film had a lot of fun with the more melodramatic elements of the mystery plot, Jodi’s PTSD was played totally straight and Stranahan did a great job of capturing Jodi’s fragile mental state. By the end of the film, Jodi is a role model for survivors everywhere.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This was Lifetime moviemaking at its best!

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I totally related to the character of Jodi, which is a huge reason why I enjoyed the movie. Towards the end of the film, Jodi had a fight with her mom and ended up getting grounded. Afterward, Jodi made it a point to elaborately apologize and then, as soon as her mom left the room, Jodi was sneaking out the bedroom window. That one scene pretty much epitomized my senior year of high school.

And really, the relationship between Jodi and her mom was the main reason why I loved Stalked By Neighbor. Don’t get me wrong. The mystery was fun. Grant Harvey was cute and the scene where he dances with Jodi was really well done. But ultimately, the film worked for me because I related so much to Jodi and I saw so much of my mom in her mom.

Lessons Learned

If you think you’re neighbor might be a murderer, always make sure you have an extra memory card for your camera. (Seriously, watch the movie. It’ll make sense.)

What Lisa Watched Last Night #117: Wuthering High School (dir by Anthony DiBlasi)

Posted on March 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, I finally got around to watching the latest film from both Lifetime and the Asylum, Wuthering High School!

Cathy and Heath

Why Was I Watching It?

I was late in watching Wuthering High School. Saturday afternoon, I spent five hours in the Emergency Room, all so I could find out that I have bronchitis. By the time I finally got home, I was so tired that I slept through the Lifetime premiere of Wuthering High School. Fortunately, I did DVR it and yesterday, I finally found the time to watch it.

As to why I was watching it — hey, it’s a modern version of Wuthering Heights that’s set in a high school! And it was produced by the Asylum!

Wuthering Heights, high school, and The Asylum, three of my favorite things.

Seriously, how could I not watch it?

What Was It About?

Wuthering High School is the latest version of Emily Bronte’s classic novel, Wuthering Heights. After his family is deported, Heath (Andrew Jacobs) is adopted by wealthy Mr. Earnshaw (James Caan). Soon, Earnshaw is viewing Heath as being more of a son to him than his biological child, the drug-addicted Lee (Sean Flynn). Meanwhile, Heath has fallen in love with Earnshaw’s daughter, Cathy (Paloma Kwiatkowski). Cathy is struggling to come to terms with the recent death of her mother and soon, she and Heath are skipping school, tearing up school books in slow motion, and getting sentenced to community service. However, when Cathy rejoins the school’s popular clique of mean girls, she starts to grow distant from Heath. While Heath plots his revenge, Cathy is pursued by the well-meaning but ineffectual Eddie Linton (Matthew Boehm).

What Worked?

At its heart, Wuthering High School was definitely a “look at the pretty clothes and look at the pretty houses” type of film. And that’s okay because, ultimately, the clothes and the houses were all very pretty and they were all filmed in very loving detail by director Anthony DiBlasi. At it’s best, Wuthering High School is a pure celebration of melodramatic style.

Modernizing a classic, 19th century novel is always a risky proposition. Setting it in a high school is equally dangerous as well. But I actually liked a few of the ways that Bronte’s story was updated. For instance, I thought it was brilliant to turn the novel’s gambling addicted Hindley Earnshaw into the film’s drug-addicted Lee Earnshaw. As well, transforming gypsy Heathcliff into Heath, the son of a deported illegal immigrant, worked far better than I expected that it would.

Among the supporting cast, Matthew Boehm and Francesca Eastwood were both well-cast. Eastwood, especially, seemed to be having a lot of fun delivering her Mean Girls-style dialogue. (“That’s not the first time you’ve been wet,” she says after pouring a drink on Cathy.) And James Caan brought a lot of gravitas to his role.

And, finally, Paloma Kwiatkowski was well-cast as the angry and outspoken Cathy. Many scenes that should not have worked did work because of Kwiatkowski’s sincere and empathetic performance.

What Did Not Work?

So, with all of those good points that I mentioned above, why wasn’t Wuthering High School as much fun as it should have been? Ultimately, I think the film’s pacing was just a little bit off. Certain scenes moved just a bit too slowly while other scenes were finished too quickly and, as a result, the entire film had an oddly rushed feel to it.

As well, I had some issues with the film’s ending. Obviously, this is going to be a SPOILER so, if you want to be surprised, don’t read any further. *SPOILER BEGINS* Towards the end of Wuthering High School, Cathy chooses to walk out into the ocean and drowns herself while Heath watches. We are then left with a montage of everyone mourning, Heath digging up her grave and curling up next to her in a coffin, and Cathy — speaking to us from beyond the grave — saying that she’s now finally been reunited with her mother. And … seriously? Obviously, Cathy had to die in order to remain true to the spirit of Wuthering Heights but did she have to commit suicide and, even more importantly, did the film have to suggest that she was better off having done so? *SPOILER ENDS*

Finally, of the many actors to have played Heathcliff over the years, Andrew Jacobs was not exactly the most convincing. He came across as being more petulant than passionate.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Oh, I totally related to Cathy. I always do.

Lessons Learned

Avoid the ocean at all costs.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #116: Watch Your Back (dir by Jason Furukawa)

Posted on March 8, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Saturday night, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, Watch Your Back!

AnnaLynne McCord is stalked in Watch Your Back. I love the old guy trying not to laugh.

Why Was I Watching It?

I was not in a very good mood on Saturday night, largely because of the fact that I knew I would be losing an hour later that night. Seriously, Daylight Savings Time sucks! What better way to cheer myself up than be watching the latest Lifetime movie?

What Was It About?

Sarah (AnnaLynne McCord) seems as if she has it all. She has a successful career in advertising and an assistant (Darla Taylor) who views her as being a role model. She has a new husband named Kurt (Mark Ghanime) who is an aspiring novelist. Her stepdaughter even calls her “mommy.”

However, one day, Sarah starts to receive photos that someone has been taking of her. However, since the photos are sent using flashchat (not relation to snapchat), the evidence that she’s being stalked is deleted minutes after she sees it. Soon, she realizes that someone has been breaking into her house. Her husband, meanwhile, is tricked into thinking that there’s a bomb in the mailbox.

As Sarah grows more and more paranoid, it starts to become apparent that this is not your average stalking case. Instead, it all links back to a shadowy organization of professional assassins. And, from there, the film just gets stranger and stranger…

What Worked?

So, here’s the thing with this movie: For this first 78 minutes or so, nothing about this film seemed to be working. Sarah came across as being unlikable and stubborn. Her refusal to call the police made it difficult to have any sympathy for her. Add to that, she never seemed to be particularly concerned about anyone who got hurt over the course of the film. At one point, she chased a totally innocent photographer into oncoming traffic. Needless to say, the photographer ended up getting struck by a car and appeared to be on the verge of death. Sarah didn’t seem to feel much guilt about this and I found myself thinking, “Are we actually supposed to like her?” Meanwhile, Kurt came across as being such a wimp that I pretty much found myself not caring about either of them.

But then, during the final 10 minutes of the movie, Watch Your Back goes completely and totally batshit crazy. The film’s “big” twist is so over-the-top and ludicrous that, in its own strange way, it actually manages to redeem almost the entire film. Of course, that doesn’t mean that the twist makes any sense but it certainly is memorable.

And, once the twist is revealed, AnnaLynne McCord’s performance actually starts to make sense. Suddenly, you realize that McCord’s strange performance was actually what was needed to set up the film’s strange ending.

What Did Not Work?

There have been a lot of wimpy husbands in a lot of different Lifetime films but it’s hard to think of any that were as totally wimpy as the character of Kurt. Kurt was nice and sensitive but he was pretty much useless in a crisis. Don’t get me wrong. I love sensitive guys but sometimes, you just need a man to actually be a man.

Also, I could have used an update on what happened to that photographer after Sarah nearly got him killed. The film just kind of abandoned him.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Needless to say, I related to Julie (Darla Taylor), the much put upon administrative assistant. As I watched Julie deal with an increasingly neurotic supervisor, I found myself thinking, “I know that feeling.” When Julie has to deal with Sarah’s paranoid glances and condescending tone, I nodded and said, “Been there.” And when, at the end of the film, when Julie got to deliver a kick ass one liner, I thought to myself, “I better remember that, just in case I ever find myself in the exact same situation.”

Lessons Learned

Since Watch Your Back took place in a weird, batshit crazy universe that had absolutely no relation to our real universe, I can honestly say that I didn’t learn a thing from this movie.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #115: Kept Woman (dir by Michel Poulette)

Posted on February 28, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, Kept Woman!

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, why not? First off, it was on Lifetime. Secondly, the commercials made it look really creepy. Third, I checked on the imdb and I discovered that this film was made in Canada and everyone knows how much I love Canada. And finally, I read a very misleading article on Bustle that insinuated that this film was based on the Ariel Castro case.

What Was It About?

One night, after an evening at the theater, Jessica (Courtney Ford) and her fiancée Evan (Andrew W. Walker) return to their apartment and discover that they’re being robbed by a guy who looks like Jack Black’s younger, thinner brother.

Jessica says, “Enough of this city living! We’re moving to the suburbs!” Evan agrees to use his life savings to purchase a house in the suburbs. It’s here that Jessica will work on her book while skyping with her true crime-obsessed friend Oscar (Jesse Camacho).

From the minute he first shows up and offers them a bottle of wine as a welcoming gift, it’s obvious that there is something off about their new neighbor, Simon (Shaun Benson). For one thing, he dresses like he’s in a community theater production of The Music Man. He’s a professor of Men’s Studies at the local university and, when he comes over for dinner, he’s clearly both offended and aroused by the sight of Jessica’s visible bra straps. Also, he’s likes to wear bowties and we all know that, in a Lifetime movie, bowties often equal evil.

Of course, the main clue that there’s something wrong with Simon comes when he kidnaps Jessica and locks her in his basement. There’s another woman already living in the basement. Her name is Robin (Rachel Wilson) and she’s been down in the basement for so long that she’s now in love with Simon.

And did I mention that the basement is specifically made up to look like the 1950s?

Because it so totally is!

What Worked?

Oh my God! Shaun Benson was sooooo creepy! Seriously, he gave a great over-the-top psycho performance in this film. Rachel Wilson did a good job too, poignantly portraying just how brainwashed her character had become. As well, whoever designed and decorated that basement deserves some sort of award. It was truly a creepy location.

What Did Not Work?

This is one of those films that should have been an insane masterpiece but, somehow, it never worked quite as well as I wanted it to. The film could never seem to quite decide whether it wanted to be an over-the-top melodrama or a serious look at abduction, abuse, and brainwashing. Courtney Ford and Andrew W. Walker did not have much chemistry as the endangered couple and, for the film to work, characters often had to behave in the stupidest way possible. Even the film’s ending, which was obviously meant to be a big “You go, girl!” moment, felt forced.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Jessica, I am totally obsessed with true crime and I enjoy trying to solve real-life unsolved mysteries. I also imagine that, much like Jessica, I would probably break into my neighbor’s house to investigate whether he was a potential murderer.

Lessons Learned

Creepy neighbors should be handled with extreme caution.

What Lisa Watched This Afternoon #114: Babysitter’s Black Book (dir by Lee Friedlander)

Posted on February 22, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier today, I watched last night’s Lifetime original movie, Babysitter’s Black Book!

Why Was I Watching It?

I love Lifetime movies about out-of-control teenagers.

What Was It About?

Ashley (Spencer Locke) wants to go to a good college and is terrified of getting stuck at a community college. She’s even started a babysitting service in order to help pay for school. However, she soon finds herself having an affair with one of her clients (Ryan McPartin). Meanwhile, one of her employees has turned the babysitting service into a prostitution ring.

And while that may seem extreme to some, never underestimate the lengths people will go to avoid having to enroll in a community college…

What Worked?

Before I watched this film, I thought there was a very good chance that either Sugar Daddies or Back to School Mom would be the best Lifetime film of 2015. But then I watched Babysitter’s Black Book and oh my God! Babysitter’s Black Book is one of the best Lifetime films that I have ever seen. How good was it? It’s almost as good as Confessions of a Go Go Girl!

(And that’s pretty freaking good…)

Babysitter’s Black Book features everything that you could possibly want from a Lifetime film. Melodrama, comedy, pretty clothes, sordid happenings in artfully decorated settings, and wonderfully over-the-top dialogue. When Rachel tries to convince her friends to have sex for money, she very reasonably says, “Use it before you lose it.” When Mark offers Ashley something to eat, he tells her, “Try it and you’ll never want to have another thing in your mouth.” How can you not love this film?

The film was also remarkably well-directed and acted. In the role of the greedily pragmatic Rachel, Angeline Appel stole every scene that she appeared in. Another scene stealer was an actor named Jeff L. Williams. Playing the role of the decadent Walker, Williams only appeared in a handful of scenes but he definitely made an impression. The minute he smirked and said, “Let’s take some real pictures,” you just knew that bad things were going to happen.

This was exactly the type of film that we watch Lifetime to see.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This was a perfect Lifetime movie.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Not that we ever would but, if for some reason we did decided to start a prostitution business, I would hope that my best friends and I would be as cheerful, giggly, and supportive about it as the girls in this film. And I really do think we would be. That’s one of the best things about Babysitter’s Black Book. It’s a film that — much like Sofia Coppola’s Bling Ring — is honest about the fact that sometimes it’s fun to be bad. (Especially when you’re still too sheltered and naive to understand the consequences…)

Babysitter’s Black Book perfectly captured the feeling of just how exhilarating and scary it can be to have your entire future in front of you. Whenever Ashley dreaded the prospect of having to stay home and attend a community college, I found myself nodding and thinking, “Oh my God. Just like me….”

Lessons Learned

Actions have consequences but it’s still fun to have money.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #113: Back to School Mom (dir by Christopher Erskin)

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, Back to School Mom.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, first off, it was the latest Lifetime film and I’m making it a point to see all of 2015’s Lifetime films. However, I also watched it because the title — Back to School Mom — made the film sound like it would be something that would totally bring out my snarky side.

(Amazingly enough, it turned out I was wrong…)

What Was It About?

This is the type of movie that, had it been made in the 1950s, probably would have starred Lana Turner and Tab Hunter. Mary Thomas (Kimberly Elise) is a singer who has performed all over the world but she’s haunted by the fact that, 21 years ago, she dropped out of college and abandoned her newborn son. When Mary returns to school to finish up her degree, she is shocked to discover that her tutor, aspiring lawyer Noah (Denzel Whitaker), is also her son. Without revealing the truth about how they’re related, Mary befriends Noah and is soon encouraging him to defy his father (Harry Lennix) and pursue a career in music.

What Worked?

To be honest, I was surprised by how well this movie worked. Snarkable name aside, Back To School Mom turned out to be a very nice and very sweet movie. Kimberly Elise was very sympathetic in the lead role and she had a lot of chemistry with the entire cast. Denzel Whitaker’s multi-layered performance shows that he deserves to be a huge star.

What Did Not Work?

They probably could have come up with a better title but otherwise, the entire film worked.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

None, but that’s okay. Not every movie has to be about me.

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, you can’t judge a movie by its title.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #112: Megachurch Murder (dir by Darin Scott)

Posted on February 7, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier tonight, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, Megachurch Murder!

Why Was I Watching It?

First off, it was on Lifetime. And secondly, I had read that the film was supposedly based on Hamlet!

What Was It About?

Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark … Denmark, Georgia that is. Shortly after resisting the efforts of Michael Beach to expand his church, Pastor Malcolm Jamal-Warner dies under mysterious circumstances. Soon, Beach is having an affair with the pastor’s widow (Tamala Jones) and the pastor’s daughter (Shanica Knowles) is convinced that there’s been a murder. Complicating things: Knowles is dating Beach’s son, Romeo Miller.

What Worked?

To be honest, the best thing about Megachurch Murder were the tweets. This is one of those films that seemed to bring out the best of twitter.

I appreciated that the film pretended to be based on Hamlet, even though the story itself had next to nothing in common with Shakespeare’s play. That said, two youth group leaders did show up as the Megachurch Murder equivalents of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

Most of the actors seemed to just be going through the motions but Michael Beach did a good job in the role of Clay King. He made for a great villain.

What Did Not Work?

All through the movie, whenever Hannah had to get away from it all, she always went to the exact same bridge. At first, it was funny that she was always standing on that bridge. But, after the 20th scene on that bridge, I started to wonder why nobody else in the town of Denmark ever seemed to use the bridge. Finally, by the time that Clay was demanding to know where Hannah was, I found myself shouting at the TV, “She’s on the bridge! She’s always on the damn bridge!”

Plus, Romeo Miller … actually, to be honest, I think Romeo Miller could give a good performance if cast in the right role. But, in this film, I kept expecting him to start talking about ICDC college. Whenever he was comforting Hannah, I kept waiting for him to say, “You can major in criminal justice or homeland security…”

Finally, I was surprised to discover that, at the end of the film, people were still attending the church. After three violent deaths, I’d probably change parishes.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

To be honest, and no one is more shocked by this than me, this is probably the first Lifetime film that I’ve ever watched that featured absolutely no moments that made me go, “Oh my God! Just like me!” I guess it’s because I was raised Catholic and didn’t have to deal with any murders while I was growing up.

It is true that, much like Hannah, I did go through my rebellious phase and I would snap at any adult who tried to speak to me. However, Hannah had an excuse. She was dealing with her father’s murder whereas, in my case, I was just a brat. So, it really doesn’t count as a “OMG! Just like me!” moment.

Lessons Learned

Big church = murder.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #111: Beautiful & Twisted (dir by Christopher Zalla)

Posted on January 31, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Saturday night, I watched the latest Lifetime original movie, Beautiful & Twisted!

Why Was I Watching It?

Ever since I first saw the commercial during Whitney, I have been looking forward to seeing Beautiful & Twisted. Not only was it true crime (which is one of my favorite Lifetime movie genres) but it also featured Rob Lowe. Rob has appeared in a few Lifetime films and they always seem to bring out his best.

What Was It About?

The film is narrated by Ben Novack (Rob Lowe), who starts things off by telling us that he’s dead. We see how Ben, the eccentric son of a millionaire hotelier, first met and subsequently married a stripper named Narcy (Paz Vega). Ben likes collecting Batman memorabilia. Narcy likes money. They both like kinky sex.

However, Ben is often unfaithful to Narcy and finds himself on the receiving end of her often violent tempter. When Narcy finds out that Ben is planning on leaving his fortune to his mother (Candice Bergen), Narcy has her murdered. And when she worries that Ben might like her daughter (played by Seychelle Gabriel) more than her, Narcy has Ben brutally murdered. Not only does she get her brother to beat him to death but she also demands that his eyes be gouged out of his head.

AGCK!

Amazingly enough, this is all based on a true story.

What Worked?

This is one of the best Lifetime films that I’ve seen in a while! It was stylish, it was melodramatic, it was occasionally funny, and it was over-the-top in the best way possible. The settings were opulent, the clothes were to die for, and the pace was relentless. Even the music was great! Seriously, if you’re going to make a movie about kinky sex and murder among the wealthy, you should at least have fun with it. And, despite all of the grisly murders, Beautiful & Twisted was definitely fun.

Rob Lowe was sympathetically weird as Ben while, in the role of Narcy, Paz Vega gave a performance worthy of an old school femme fatale.

All in all, Beautiful & Twisted is exactly the type of movie that we Lifetime viewers have been hoping for.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This one of the best Lifetime movies ever!

“Oh my God! Just like me” Moments

Well, I have to admit that I’ve never had anyone killed and I doubt that I ever will. I’m just not the murderous type, regardless of what you may have heard. However, much like Narcy, I’m not above using my cleavage to get what I want.

Lessons Learned

If there’s any lesson to be learned from watching any of these Lifetime true crime films, it’s that you shouldn’t murder anyone because, regardless of how cute or clever you may be, you will eventually end up getting caught. And then someone will make a movie about you and you’ll end up with a bunch of snarky people on twitter talking about how crazy you are. It’s better to just get a divorce.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #110: Whitney (dir by Angela Bassett)

Posted on January 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime biopic, Whitney.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYc3BcjYyL0

Why Was I Watching It?

A movie about Whitney Cummings!? How could I not watch…

Okay, okay — I knew, before I started watching, that it was a movie about Whitney Houston. But I have to admit that my motives for watching were not exactly pure. You see, after watching the Saved By The Bell movie, the Aaliyah movie, and the Brittany Murphy movie, I had every reason to believe that Whitney would be another unfortunate Lifetime biopic. I was watching expecting the film to be a snarkfest, the type of thing that I could write a really sassy review about.

But — no. Actually, it turned out to be pretty good.

What Was It About?

Whitney Houston (Yaya DaCosta) meets, falls in love with, and marries Bobby Brown (Arlen Escarpeta). Many drugs are done and many songs are sung.

What Worked?

Whitney was probably a hundred times better than anyone was expecting. Angela Bassett kept the story moving, Yaya DaCosta and Arlen Escarpeta both gave good performances as Whitney and Bobby respectively, and Deborah Cox — who provided Whitney’s singing voice — sounded great. The final scene of Whitney singing while Bobby watched was surprisingly moving.

One thing that I did like was that Whitney did not indulge in any sort of tawdry or melodramatic speculation about Whitney’s death. Even the film’s postscript stated that, even after her death, Whitney Houston continues to inspire new artists but it didn’t go into the details of her final days. And why should it? This film was about talent, music, and love. It wasn’t about tabloid rumors.

What Did Not Work?

I’m sure some people were probably frustrated by the fact that Whitney did turn out to be a good, competently directed and acted film. All the people who were watching specifically because they wanted to see an Aaliyah-style fiasco (and there were quite a few of them) were undoubtedly left disappointed.

And, of course, I’m sure some people really were hoping for a Whitney Cummings biopic…

On a more serious note, I did bother me a little that, though the movie was called Whitney, it actually seemed to be more about Bobby Brown than her. Considering that the film basically presented Bobby as being a drug-free saint before he met Whitney and that it was followed by an hour-long interview with Bobby Brown, it was hard not to feel that Lifetime was basically presenting only one side of the story.

(Then again, Whitney Houston’s family refused to have anything to do with the movie so it’s possible nobody was around to present the other side.)

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Well, unless I’m drunk and there’s a karaoke machine nearby, I can’t sing to save my life so I can’t really claim to be able to relate to Whitney’s talent. However, I do have a weakness for guys who share my taste in movies. For Whitney, it was Sparkle. For me, it’s Suspiria. So, I was able to watch that part of the movie and go, “Oh my God! Just like me!”

Lessons Learned

Despite snarky rumors to the contrary, Lifetime can make good biopics. (Of course, you and I already knew that, right?)