Lisa Marie Picks The 16 Worst Films of 2013

Posted on January 2, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A lot of people are saying that 2013 was a great year for movies. And I guess it was. An unusually large number of memorable films were released last year.

However, by that same token, a huge number of truly terrible films were released in 2013 as well. With that in mind, here are my personal picks for the 16 worst films of 2013. Why 16? Because Lisa doesn’t do odd numbers, that’s why.

16) Carrie

15) Getaway

14) After Earth

13) Broken City

12) The Company You Keep

11) See Girl Run

10) Would You Rather

9) Lee Daniels’ The Butler

8) Identity Thief

7) Movie 43

6) Disconnect

5) A Dark Truth

4) Freeloaders

3) Unhung Hero

2) Tyler Perry’s Temptation

And finally, my pick for the worst film of 2013…

1) Man of Steel

It’s only been recently that I’ve come to realize that Man Of Steel was the worst film of 2013. When I first saw it, I thought it was bombastic and rather silly but I also thought it was just another mediocre action film. However, the more that I’ve thought about the film, the more I’ve come to realize that Man of Steel truly represents everything that I dislike about mainstream film. Beyond the fact that it took itself way too seriously, Man of Steel spent millions of dollars to celebrate the destruction of a major city but couldn’t find five minutes to devote to character development or memorable dialogue. Two years ago, a lot of people disagreed with me when I announced that Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch was one of the best films of 2011. I wonder how those same people feel about Man of Steel.

Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at the year that was with my 10 favorite songs of 2013.

(You can see my picks for the worst films of 2010, 2011, and 2012 by clicking on the links in this sentence.)

12 Random Things That I Am Thankful For In 2013

Posted on November 28, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy Thanksgiving!

Traditionally here in the States, Thanksgiving is the forgotten holiday that sits between Halloween and Christmas. This is the time of year that those of us in the States are supposed to think about what we are thankful for. According to the people in Washington, this year we’re also supposed to talk to all of the members of our family about politics. They’ve even made talking points available, just in case you have a relative who isn’t crazy about your personal ideology. To me, though, that seems kind of foolish. Why would you ruin a perfectly good Thanksgiving with politics when you could spend your time thinking, talking, and arguing about movies and television?

After all, Presidents are only around for, at the most, eight years. Movies are forever.

With that in mind, here are twelve random things that I am thankful for in 2013.

1) I’m thankful that there are still visionaries like Shane Carruth who can make films like Upstream Color.

2) I’m thankful for actors, like Robert Downey, Jr., who are capable of making mainstream films, like Iron Man 3, memorable.

3) I’m thankful that a show like Breaking Bad got a chance to remind us of just how good television can be.

4) I’m thankful for Blue Is The Warmest Color.

5) I’m thankful that at least some people understand that The Counselor is one of the best films of 2013.

6) I’m thankful that this October was this site’s most succesful horror month yet!

7) I’m thankful that, in 2013, we can still watch movies like The Passion of Joan of Arc.

8) I’m thankful that I actually saw Tyler Perry’s Temptation because, otherwise, I would not believe that such an inept and deeply offensive film could have been made.

9) I am thankful for Icona Pop’s I Love It, which is currently my favorite song to play while I’m dancing around the house in my underwear.

10) I am thankful that the series finale of The Office was everything that it should have been.

11) I am thankful that Dexter finally ended because, seriously, the show was getting so bad that it was running the risk of overshadowing how good the first few seasons actually were.

12) Finally, and most importantly, I am thankful for our readers and for our subscribers. Y’all are the ones who make all of this worthwhile. Thank you!

2013: What Type of Year Has It Been So Far?

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

We are now at the halfway mark as far as 2013 is concerned. This is the time of year that self-important film critics (both online and elsewhere) tell their readers what type of year it’s been so far.

So, without further ado — what type of year has 2013 been so far?

(By the way, you can also check out my thoughts from last year, July of 2011 and July 2010 as well.)

(Also, please understand that my opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the any other contributor here at TSL. And I reserve the right to change my opinion.)

Best Film Of The Year (So Far): Upstream Color (with The Bling Ring, This Is The End, Spring Breakers, Before Midnight, Frances Ha, Iceman, and Much Ado About Nothing as close runner-ups.)

Best Male Performance Of The Year (So Far): Michael Shannon in Iceman (with James Franco in Spring Breakers as a close runner-up).

Best Female Performance of the Year (So Far): Greta Gerwig in Frances Ha (with Emma Watson in The Bling Ring as a close runner-up.)

Best Voice Over Performance Of The Year (So Far): Steve Carell in Despicable Me 2.

Best Ending of the Year (So Far): Upstream Color

Best Horror Film Of The Year (So Far): Maniac

Most Underrated Film Of The Year (So Far): The Last Exorcism Part 2

Best Bad Film Of The Year (So Far): Safe Haven

Worst Film Of The Year (So Far): Tyler Perry’s Temptation, which was a guilty pleasure up until it turned out that Tyler Perry is apparently a messenger from God.

Biggest Example Of A Missed Opportunity For This Year (So Far): Man of Steel, which started out so strong before it became just another series of mind-numbing CGI sequences.

The Get Over It Already Award For The First Half of 2012: Disconnect. Hey, everyone, did you know that the Internet makes people feel disconnected from others? If this is news to you, then you’ll probably think Disconnect is a really profound movie.

The Cameron/Fincher Bandwagon Trophy (Awarded To The Upcoming Film That, Regardless Of Quality, Will Probably Be So Violently Embraced By People Online That You’ll Be Putting Your Life In Danger If You Dare Offer Up The Slightest Amount Of Criticism): Elysium

The Trailer That Has Most Outgrown Its Welcome: Elysium

The Sasha Award (Awarded To The Film That I Am Predicting Will Be The Most Overrated Of The Year): August: Osage County

The Stone Award (Awarded to the upcoming film that will probably get positive reviews based on the film’s political context as opposed to the film itself): The Butler

The Roland Emmerich/Rod Lurie Award For The Film That I’m Predicting Will Be The Worst Of 2012: Could any film possibly be worst than Tyler Perry’s Temptation?

Films I’m Looking Forward To Seeing In The Future (An incomplete list): American Hustle, Anchorman: The Legend Continues, Carrie, Dallas Buyers Club, Foxcatcher, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Inside Llewyn Davis, Insidious Chapter 2, Nebraska, Only God Forgives, Oldboy, Pacific Rim, Thor: The Dark World, The Wolf of Wall Street

Let’s hope that the second half of 2013 is better than the first.

Seriously, just because the Mayans were wrong, that’s no excuse for bad cinema.