Guilty Pleasure No. 42: Harper’s Island

Posted on October 8, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh my God, do you remember Harper’s Island!?

Way before The Walking Dead and American Horror Story made death and gore safe for mass consumption, Harper’s Island was the scariest show on television. I have to admit that, when I first heard about the show, I wasn’t expecting it to be. Way back in 2009, whenever the commercials for the show would air and that little girl would go, “One by one,” I would roll my eyes so hard that I once nearly gave myself a concussion.

“Really?” I would say, “A slasher television show where at least one person dies every week? And it’s going to be on network TV? There’s no way this is going to be bloody or scary enough to be worth watching.”

However, I did watch the first episode because I figured that I could at least be snarky about it on twitter. (I had joined just a few months before the show premiered. Harper’s Island was the first show that I ever live tweeted, even though I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as “live tweeting” way back then.) The episode opened with a man tied to the propeller of a boat, screaming as the engine started. The episode ended with Uncle Marty (played by special guest star Harry Hamlin) getting chopped in half by an unseen assailant.

“AGCK!” I said.

I was hooked from that episode on.

Believe it or not, Harper’s Island wasn’t just killings. It actually did tell a story, about a young woman named Abby (played by Elaine Cassidy) who returns to her childhood home, on Harper’s Island, for her best friend’s wedding. Many years ago, Abby’s mother was among those who was killed by a serial killer named John Wakefield. From the minute that Abby arrives, she feels that something bad is going to happen and it turns out that she’s right.

Of course, Abby’s not the only one on the island. There’s the other members of the wedding party. There’s the island’s inhabitants, the fishermen and the deputies and the cafe owner and the local reverend whose destined to lose his head in the woods. They’ve all got their quirks and subplots. Boisterous Malcolm (Chris Gauthier) is in desperate need of money. Local fisherman Jimmy (C.J. Thomason) is still in love with Abby. The groom, Henry (Christopher Gorham), has issues from his past that he needs to deal with. Some of them are likable. Some of them are annoying. Some of them, like spoiled Chloe (Cameron Richardson), are meant to be annoying but become likable as the series progresses.

And, in the end, none of their hopes and dreams really mattered because, by the end of the show, everyone was pretty much dead. The ads for Harper’s Island promised a bloodbath and that’s what the show delivered. It wasn’t just that at least one person died per week. It was also that they usually died in the most macabre and disturbing ways possible. This was the type of the show where the most likable groomsman ended up getting chopped into pieces and then tossed into an incinerator. Another wedding guest chose to drown herself rather than be attacked by the killer. Sometimes, the killers didn’t even have to be around for someone to get killed. Who can forget poor Booth (played by Sean Rogerson), accidentally shooting himself in the leg and bleeding out while America watched?

And yes, you did watch every week because you wanted to see who would be the next to die. (That’s where the guilty part of the pleasure comes in.) But you also watched because the show was produced and directed so well. The island was a wonderfully atmospheric location and the cast really committed themselves to bringing the show’s morbid reality to life. At the time, it was the darkest show on television and it could have been even darker because, originally, the plan was for the killer to get away with it. In the end, karma caught up with the killer but not before we were all traumatized upon discovering just who was responsible. Harper’s Island‘s mystery was as intriguing as its deaths were bloody.

Being ahead of its time, Harper’s Island struggled in the ratings and it was never a big hit with critics. But, with the help of Netflix and the the occasional marathon on SyFy, Harper’s Island‘s reputation has improved and grown over the years. Looking back, it’s easy to see that Harper’s Island was not only the forerunner to American Horror Story but it was also a far better series. American Horror Story tends to condescend to the horror, keeping the genre at arm’s length through misdirected pretension. It’s a show for people who think that they’re too good for horror. Harper’s Island, on the other hand, fully embraced both the horror and the melodrama and it did so without apology.

Seriously, what Halloween is complete without a trip to Harper’s Island?

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Horror on TV: The Veil 1.2 “Girl on the Road” (dir by George Waggner)

Posted on October 7, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

From 1958, it’s The Veil!

The Veil was a horror anthology series that, because of financial difficulties at Hal Roach Studios, were never actually aired on television. 10 episodes were filmed before production was abruptly canceled. Each episode was hosted by (and often starred) Boris Karloff. Karloff later stated that he was never actually paid for his work on the show but his work as the host did eventually lead to him being hired to host Thriller, a horror anthology series that eventually did air.

As for The Veil, the ten episodes that were produced were never actually sold to a network but, in the 60s, several episodes were edited together to create films that aired on late night television. It wasn’t until the 90s that the episodes were actually released on video. For that, we largely have Something Weird Video to thank.

Each episode of The Veil opened with Karloff promising the lift the veil on a strange, perhaps supernatural, event. (Most of the stories were supposedly based on true stories.) Karloff would also play a role in each episode. For instance, in tonight’s episode, he plays Morgan Debs.

Tonight’s episode is called Girl on the Road. It’s a nicely atmospheric tale about a man (Tod Andrews) who picks up a mysterious woman (Eve Brent) who is stranded on the side of the road. What is the woman’s secret and why is she terrified of Morgan Debs? Why does everyone in the town refuse to talk about her? Watch to find out!

This episode was directed by George Waggner, who is perhaps best known for directing the original Wolf Man.

Enjoy!

Horror on TVL Degrassi 11.30-31 “Nowhere to Run” (dir by Pat Williams)

Posted on October 6, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Degrassi goes slasher!

Well, kinda.

In this episode, the latest batch of students at Toronto’s Degrassi Community School decided that the perfect way to end their summer is to go up to an isolated cabin in the woods. I know, it doesn’t make much sense to me, either. No one invites Clare because, by this point in the series, Clare had started to transform into Canada’s most dramatic yandere. However, because Clare is upset over her mom marrying the father of her ex-boyfriend, she goes up to the cabin anyway and ends up getting lost in the woods.

Of course, all sorts of weird things are happening around the cabin. Are the Degrassi students about to fall victim to the Canadian version of Michael Myers? Or do they just have an overactive imagination?

This episode originally aired on October 24, 2011, in Canada. It didn’t make it’s way over to the U.S. until November 18th, which definitely diluted its horror-themed impact. In many ways, it’s typical of later-era Degrassi, in that the plot is kind of fun and cute but you can’t help but think about how much more fun it would be if it was Ellie, Emma, Manny, Craig, and Spinner in the cabin instead of their replacements. But then again, that’s true to life. No one stays in high school forever.

Anyway, enjoy the horrorthon’s final episode of Degrassi! Tomorrow, we start a new show!

Horror on TV: Degrassi: The Next Generation 9.17 “Innocent When You Dream” (dir by Eleanore Lindo)

Posted on October 5, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The world of Degrassi is like our own but not quite.

For instance, on Degrassi, Kid Rock was named Kid Eldrick. When Darcy started posting racy pictures of herself, she posted them not on MySpace but instead on MyRoom. A few seasons later, when Alli created the infamous I Hate Holly J group, she did so not on Facebook but instead on Facerange. Oddly enough, I think Degrassi‘s Twitter was called Twitter as well, which just proves that Twitter is the one social media network that you can’t escape.

Finally, in the world of Degrassi, students did not read Twilight and then fantasize about being a vampire’s lover. Instead, they read a series of YA books called …. Fortnight. Of course, this was before Fortnite itself became a thing but still, it’s always somewhat amusing to hear Degrassi students talk about how romantic they find Fortnight to be.

In tonight’s episode of Degrassi, it turns out that Clare Edwards (Aislinn Paul) is not only obsessed with Fortnight but she’s also having dreams about her classmate, Declan (Landon Liboiron). It kind of makes sense because Declan is totally a vampire name. The first problem is that Declan is dating the seemingly-evil-but-not-really-that-bad Holly J (Charlotte Arnold). The second problem is that Clare might be turning into a vampire herself.

In this episode’s subplot, Sav (Raymond Ablack) directs a music video and Degrassi‘s house band, Studz, performs House Arrest for the thousandth time. Even though Spinner (Shane Kippel) graduated several seasons ago, he’s still Studz’s drummer. It’s all so Sav can try to win back Anya (Samantha Munro), which was a storyline that just went on and on.

This episode first aired on May 7th, 2010.

Horror on TV: The Curse of Degrassi (dir by Stefan Brogren)

Posted on October 4, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This is a special episode of my favorite TV show of all, Degrassi! Originally airing on October 28th, 2008, The Curse of Degrassi features Degrassi’s main mean girl, Holy J Sinclair (Charlotte Arnold), getting possessed by the vengeful spirit of deceased school shooter, Rick Murray (Ephraim Ellis). Chaos follows! Fortunately, Spinner (Shane Kippel) is around to save the day. As any true Degrassi fan can tell you, only Spinner has a chance against the forces of the undead.

What I like about this episode is that, in the best tradition of Degrassi, it goes there. Holly J does get possessed. Just about the entire cast end up dying horribly. Spinner has to battle the undead spirit of Rick Murray and he has to do it without the help of Drake. And, as far as we know, this episode is canon. So, yes, Rick Murray’s ghost actually does haunt Degrassi Community School and yes, only Spinner can save us all.

Go Spinner!

Enjoy!

Horror On TV: Degrassi: The Next Generation 4.15 “Secret: Part 2” (dir by Eleanore Lindo)

Posted on October 3, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When last we checked in with Toronto’s Degrassi Community School, the school was recovering from a recent school shooting by putting on a production of Dracula. While a fake vampire drained blood onstage, his real-life equivalent tempted girls into his van at the ravine with the promise of cheap bracelets and an escape from all the trauma of the past month.

In the second part of Secret, the play is finally ready to open but, much as how Dracula has infecting the stage with vampirism, Jay (Mike Lobel) has infected the school with gonorrhea. Can Emma (Miriam McDonald) get through the play without having a complete breakdown?

There’s a B-plot here, of course. Jimmy (Drake …. yes, the Drake) has been in the hospital ever since getting shot in the back by Rick Murray. With the help of Craig (Jake Epstein) and Marco (Adamo Ruggiero), Jimmy escapes from the hospital so that he can attend a Kid Eldrick show. (Kid Eldrick is Degrassi‘s version of Kid Rock.) It’s actually kind of a nice little story. My favorite line is Marco’s one about wanting to look like a ninja.

That said, this is the episode will forever be known for making national news when it aired in the United States. Though it may seem strange now, this was considered to quite a controversial show back in 2005. (Canadians, of course, got to see the episode first, when it aired on December 7th, 2004.)

One thing I like about this episode — and the reason why I am specifically sharing it now — is the way that the school staged their production of Dracula. It looks like they did a good job. I especially liked the way that they faked the blood in the staking scene.

Enjoy!

Horror on TV: Degrassi: The Next Generation 4.14 “Secret, Part One” (dir by Eleanore Lindo)

Posted on October 2, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s televised horror comes to use from the year 2004 and the nation of Canada! Love you, Canada!

In this episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation, the students at Toronto’s Degrassi Community School are still struggling to come to terms with a recent school shooting that left one student dead and another paralyzed. What better way to help the school deal with their trauma than a play? And what better play to select than an adaptation of …. Dracula?

J.T. (Ryan Cooley) and Libertry (Sarah Barrable-Tishauer) are directing their own script. Starring in the play is Emma Nelson (Miriam McDonald). Before the shooting, Emma was known for being rather strident about her political and environmental activism. After the shooting, Emma has been spiraling out of control. And, as we all know, spiraling out of control on Degrassi inevitably leads to a visit to the ravine where all-around trouble-maker Jay (Mike Lobel) has a van and a collection cheap bracelets.

Meanwhile, in another part of the school, Ashley (Melissa McIntyre) tries to get Craig (Jake Epstein) to join a support group that will help him deal with his recent bipolar diagnosis. Craig is upset to discover that Ellie (Stacey Farber) is in the same group. This episode was the start of the very long and very angsty Craig/Ellie relationship arc. When I first watched Degrassi, I always related to Ellie and I still do to a certain extent but, in retrospect, I think I was probably a lot more like Ashley when I was in high school.

This episode of Degrassi aired, in Canada, on November 30th, 2004. This episode was considered to be so controversial that it actually made national news when it later aired in the United States. (I can actually remember watching some outraged wannabe censor talking about how Degrassi was a corrupting influence.) Part Two of Secret, which we’ll get to tomorrow, was even more controversial.

As for how this fits in with October …. it’s Dracula! And really, when you think about it, Jay’s a bit of a real-life Dracula. That’ll especially become clear in the next episode.

Anyway, here is tonight’s episode. Remember — whatever it takes, you can make it through!

Horror On TV: Degrassi High 4.14 “It Creeps!!” (dir by Kit Hood)

Posted on October 1, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

During the month of October, we like to share classic episodes of horror-themed television. That was easier to do when we first started doing our annual October horrorthon here at the Shattered Lens because every single episode of the original, black-and-white Twilight Zone was available on YouTube. Sadly, that’s no longer the case.

However, there is some good news! Twilight Zone may be gone but every episode of Degrassi is currently available on YouTube!

Yay!

Now, I know what you’re saying. “But Lisa, I thought you said there were classic episodes of horror-themed television?”

Degrassi is a classic!

“No, Lisa, the horror part….”

Believe it or not, Degrassi wasn’t always about kids going to school in Toronto. Quite a few episodes of Degrassi actually touched on the horror genre.

For instance, there’s this episode of Degrassi High, which originally aired on February 6th, 1990. (Degrassi High was one of the forerunners to the Degrassi that we all know and love.) In this episode, aspiring filmmaker Lucy Fernandez (played by Anais Granofsky) uses the school and her classmates to shoot a “feminist horror film” called It Creeps!! And while her fellow students may have been dismissive of Lucy’s goal to make a slasher film in which only boys are slashed, modern audiences will immediately see that Lucy was ahead of her time.

Of course, while Lucy is making her movie, Spike (Amanda Stepto) is having to deal with her former boyfriend and the father of her child, Shane (Billy Parrott). Shortly after the birth of his daughter, Shane went to a concert, dropped acid, and then literally dropped off a bridge. Of course, if you’ve seen Degrassi: The Next Generation, you know that Shane and Spike’s daughter grew up to be Emma Nelson, the lead character for that show’s first few seasons. You also know that Spike ended up marrying Snake, one of the co-stars of Lucy’s movie.

(Of course, Lucy herself ended up getting blinded and crippled in an auto accident that was the fault of Wheels, yet another costar in It Creeps!!)

Anyway, enjoy It Creeps!!

Here’s The Trailer For BBC One’s The War Of The Worlds!

Posted on September 30, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Now, this looks really good!

This is the latest of several adaptations of H.G. Wells’s classic tale about Martians invading Earth. What sets this one apart from some of the others is that 1) it’s set close to the time period that the novel was originally written (the novel was published in 1898 and the new miniseries takes place during the Edwardian era so it’s only a difference of a few years) and 2) it takes place in the country where the novel is actually set. In other words, the Martians have arrived and it’s up to the British to save us all!

Well, maybe. Not to spoil the book but let’s just say that humanity didn’t do a very good job when it came to defending Earth from the Martians.

Anyway, this is a 3-episode miniseries which will air on the BBC sometime in the autumn. (Hopefully in late November or early December, hint, hint.) Eventually, I imagine that viewers in the States will get to see it.

For now, here’s the trailer!

Lisa Reviews The Monday Night Premieres: Bob Hearts Abishola, All Rise, Bluff City Law, Prodigal Son

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Monday night was the start of the new network primetime special, a tradition that seems rather quaint now that we’re officially in the age of streaming and binging. Still, this is the week that the five major U.S. broadcast television networks attempt to prove that they’re still relevant by trotting out their new shows. Despite the fact that none of these new shows sound that interesting, I’ve decided that I’m going to try to watch and review the first episode of each new series this season. Who knows? Maybe something will surprise me.

Tonight, I watched four network premieres.

Bob Hearts Abishola (CBS)

This is the latest sitcom from Chuck Lorre. Billy Gardell plays Bob, who owns a compression sock company in Detroit. After the stress of dealing with family and his company leads to him having a heart attack, he ends up in the hospital. He also ends up falling for Abishola (Folake Olowofoyeku), a Nigerian nurse who does’t seem like she wants anything to do with him. In the pilot, this led to Bob going to Abishola’s apartment and then back to the hospital, all so he could present her with the gift of socks.

Though the show is being advertised as being an unlikely love story and a look at the immigrant experience in 21st century America, the pilot mostly seemed to be obsessed with the idea that people saying “sock” is inherent funny. Hence, the entire pilot was basically: “Socks, socks, socks, socks, socks, socks, socks.” It got old rather quickly. In the end, you ended up feeling sorry for Abishola because Bob and his socks just wouldn’t go away.

Honestly, it would be nice if this was a better show because it has the potential to explore a lot of issues that are typically not explored on network television but in the end, the first episode just didn’t work for me.

All Rise (CBS)

Finally! A court show named after the most obnoxious part of any hearing. Seriously, there is nothing that annoys me more than the sound of a bailiff shouting, “ALL RISE!” When I hear that, I’m just like, “Why should I have to stand just because a judge is taking their time sitting down?”

Anyway, All Rise takes place in Los Angeles. It’s a show about a new judge (Simone Missick) and how she wastes taxpayer money by refusing to accept plea deals and forcing certain cases to go trial. Of course, there’s a handsome prosecutor with daddy issues (Wilson Bethel) and an idealistic public defender (Jessica Camacho) and an upstanding bailiff (J. Alex Brinson) who gets to say, “All rise!” There’s also an older judge (Marg Helgenberger) and a no-nonsense judicial assistant (Ruthie Ann Miles) and I assume there will be a weekly collection of quirky defendants.

The pilot for All Rise was predictable but occasionally compelling. Simone Missick was likable in the lead role and both Wilson Bethel and Jessica Camacho did a good job of finding some nuance with their otherwise stereotypical roles. (Wilson Bethel especially did a good job.) The writing was a bit heavy-handed and, considering that next week’s episode is called Long Day’s Journey Into ICE, that doesn’t look like it’s going to change any time soon. All Rise is a show that tries to be political but deep down, what the show really wants to be is a legal soap opera. If it tones down the politics and embraces the melodrama, All Rise could be a guilty pleasure.

Bluff City Law (NBC)

The night’s second legal premiere, Bluff City Law is about an activist attorney (Jimmy Smits) and his estranged daughter (Caitlin McGee). McGee abandons her corporate law job so that she can work with her father. The pilot featured a court case and it had a happy ending but I kept getting distracted by Jimmy Smits’s hair, which was dyed jet black and may have been a toupee. Hopefully, this will be addressed in a future episode. I was also distracted by Smits’s laughable attempt to do a Southern accent. Bluff City Law is taking place in Memphis, which means that everyone listens to the blues after court.

Anyway, Bluff City Law was definitely the worst of Monday’s new shows, full of heavy-handed dialogue and sermonizing. When we first meet Smits’s character, he’s making his ex-wife’s funeral all about himself and that pretty much set the tone for the entire show.

Judging from the pilot, Bluff City Law is one of those shows that’s so full of self-righteous fury that it’ll probably make you root for the evil, faceless corporations that are being sued. GO BIG EVIL CORP!

(Also is Memphis known as Bluff City? If so, that’s the worst nickname I’ve ever head.)

Prodigal Son (Fox)

Fresh from The Walking Dead, where he played the the least interesting person to ever be named Jesus, Tom Payne starts as Malcolm Bright. Malcolm is a criminal profiler whose father was the notorious serial killer known as The Surgeon (Michael Sheen). The Surgeon is locked up now, presumably for the crime of having a really boring nickname.

As for Malcolm, having been kicked out of the FBI, he now works with the NYPD and uses his father’s expertise to track down other serial killers. Despite Malcolm’s desire to be free from his father, his job makes that impossible. In other words, Malcolm is tortured hero and that means that the pilot has a lot of earth tones and angsty drama.

Prodigal Son has potential, largely due to the fact that Michael Sheen is obviously having a ball playing the Surgeon. My fear, based on the first episode, is that the show is going to become just another police procedural with a haunted protagonist. I am so sick of tortured protagonists and how they’re always standing around looking depressed about everything. Hopefully, the show will fully embrace the absurdity of its concept and go totally over the top with it. In short, less police work and more Michael Sheen.

In Conclusion

Out of the four new shows that I watched tonight …. well, I can’t say that I’ll be setting the DVR for any of them. Prodigal Son is elevated by Michael Sheen but it still feels too much like a rip-off of Dexter, Hannibal, and Criminal Minds for me to get too excited about it. All Rise might be fun if it can avoid being preachy. Bob Hearts Abishola probably won’t get any better than it was tonight but it might survive for a season or two just because it’s a Monday show and no one expects much from Monday. As for Bluff City Law …. seriously, what is up with Jimmy Smits’s hair?