Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #7: Rolling Thunder (dir by John Flynn)


I’m currently in the process of watching the 36 films that I’ve recorded on my DVR since March.  Last night, I was extremely excited as I looked up the 7th film on the DVR and I discovered that I was about to watch the 1977 revenge classic, Rolling Thunder!

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Among those of us who love old grindhouse and exploitation film, Rolling Thunder has achieved legendary status.  Based on a script by Paul Schrader (though I should point out that Schrader’s script was rewritten by Heywood Gould and Schrader himself has been very critical of the actual film) and directed by John Flynn, Rolling Thunder is quite literally one of the best revenge films ever made.  It’s also a great Texas film, taking place and filmed in San Antonio.  Quentin Tarantino has frequently cited Rolling Thunder as being one of his favorite films and he even used the name for his short-lived distribution company, Rolling Thunder Pictures.

Rolling Thunder also has one of the greatest trailers of all time.  In fact, if not for the trailer, I probably would never have set the DVR to record it off of Retroplex on March 25th.  The Rolling Thunder trailer is included in one of the 42nd Street Forever compilation DVDs and, from the minute I first watched it, I knew that Rolling Thunder was a film that I had to see.

Watch the trailer below:

Everything about that trailer — from the somewhat portentous narration at the beginning to the way that Tommy Lee Jones calmly says, “I’ll get my gear,” at the end, is pure genius.

But what about the film itself?  Well, having finally seen the film, I can say that Rolling Thunder is indeed a classic.  It’s also one of the most brutal films that I’ve ever seen, containing scenes of truly shocking and jarring violence.  In fact, the violence is so shocking that it’s also, at times, rather overwhelming.  This is one of those films that you will probably remember as being far more violent than it actually is.  Because, while Rolling Thunder features its share of shoot-outs and garbage disposal limb manglings, it’s actually a very deliberately paced character study.

When we first meet Maj. Charles Rane (William Devane), he’s sitting on a plane and looking down on San Antonio.  He’s in full military dress uniform.  Setting across from him, also in uniform, is John Vohden (Tommy Lee Jones).  The year is 1973 and Rane and Vohden have both just spent the past seven years as prisoners in a Vietnamese camp.  While they were prisoners, they were tortured every day.  Now, they’re returning home and neither one of them is quite sure what’s going to be waiting for them.

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Over the imdb, you can find a few complaints from people who feel that Rolling Thunder gets off to a slow start.  And it’s true that it takes over 30 minutes to get to the pivotal scene where Maj. Rane loses both his hand and his family.  But that deliberate pace is what makes Rolling Thunder more than just a revenge flick with a kickass name.  That first half-hour may seem to meander but what it’s actually doing is setting both Rane and Vohden up as strangers in their own country.

The film gets a lot of mileage out of comparing Rane to Vohden.  Rane is good with words.  When he gets off the plane, he gives a perfect (and perfectly empty) speech about how the whole war experience has made a better American out of him.  Rane knows how to fool people but it quickly becomes apparent that, on the inside, Rane feels empty.

Vohden, meanwhile, is not an articulate man.  He’s not invited to give a speech when the plane lands.  Vohden cannot fake the emotions that he does not feel.  At first, Rane and Vohden seem to be complete opposites (and the film wisely contrasts Jones’s trademark taciturn style of acting with Devane’s more expressive technique) but eventually, we learn that they’re actually two sides of the same coin.  Both of them have been left empty as a result of their wartime experiences and, in the end, Vohden is the only one who can truly understand what’s going on in Rane’s head while Rane is the only one who can understand Vohden.  When Rane needs help getting revenge, Vohden is the one that he turns to.  It’s not just because Vohden knows how to kill.  It’s also because John Vodhen is literally the only man to whom Charles Rane can relate.

Why does Rane need revenge?  After the local bank awards him with 2,000 silver dollars (“One silver dollar for every day you spent in the Hell of Hanoi!,” he is told at the presentation), Rane returns home to discover that a group of men have broken into his house.  One of them, known as the Texan (an absolutely chilling performance from James Best), demands that Rane tell them where the silver dollars are hidden.  When Rane responds by giving only his name, rank, and serial number, Slim (Luke Askew) reacts by forcing Rane’s arm into the kitchen sink and then turning on the garbage disposal.  (A scene was apparently shot that literally showed Rane’s hand getting ripped off by the garbage disposal but it was judged to be too graphic even for this grim little movie.)  Even as the disposal mangles Rane’s arm, Rane refuses to tell them where the money is.  Instead, he just flashes back to being tortured at the camp and we realize that Rane’s experiences have left him immune to pain.

Of course, the Texan doesn’t realize this.  Instead, he glares at Rane and mocks him by declaring him to be “one macho motherfucker.”

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When Rane’s wife and son walk in on the men, Slim and the Texan murder them and leave Rane for dead.  However, Charles Rane isn’t dead.  He survives but he claims that he can’t remember anything about the men who attacked him.  It’s only after Rane is released from the hospital and starts to practice firing a shotgun with the hook that has replaced his hand that we realize that Rane does remember.  Recruiting a local waitress who also happens to be an amateur beauty queen (Linda Haynes, giving the type of great performance that makes me wonder why I’ve never seen her in any move other than Rolling Thunder) to help, Rane sets out to track down “the men who killed my boy.”

Linda Hayes in Rolling Thunder, giving a great performance in a somewhat underdeveloped role

Linda Hayes in Rolling Thunder, giving a great performance in a somewhat underdeveloped role

It’s very telling that Rane continually says that he’s after the men who “killed my boy” but he never mentions his wife.  When Rane first arrived home, he had one conversation with his wife.  He complained that she had changed her hair and that she wasn’t wearing a bra.  “Nobody wears them anymore,” She replied before telling him that, during his seven year absence, she had fallen in love with another man, Cliff (Lawrason Driscoll).  And, up until she’s murdered by the Texan, that’s the last conversation that we see Rane have with his wife.  Rane still lives in the house and he still tries to talk to his son (even though his son seems more comfortable around Cliff than around Rane) but Rane becomes a stranger to his family.  While his wife sleeps in the house, Rane insists on staying out in the garage and continuing to go through the daily routine of calisthenics that he used to maintain his sanity while he was a prisoner.

(When Cliff asks Rane what it was like to be tortured, Rane literally forces Cliff to pull back on his arms in the same way that his Vietnamese captors had to.  As I watched these scenes, I was reminded that 2008 presidential candidate John McCain cannot lift his arms above his shoulders as a result of the torture he suffered while a POW.)

When Rane goes to El Paso to recruit Vohden for his mission of revenge, we notice that Vohden also appears to be incapable of speaking to his wife.  When Vohden leaves, he says goodbye to his father but not his wife.  It’s probably not a coincidence that, when Vohden and Rane find Slim and the Texan, they’re at a brothel, a place where men are in charge, women are subservient, and primal needs are satisfied without the risk of emotional attachment.  (It’s also probably not a coincidence that Slim is also identified as having recently returned from Vietnam.  He complains that, unlike Rane and Vohden, he was never captured by the enemy and, as a result, he didn’t get a parade when he came back home.)  Rolling Thunder is a film about emotionally stunted men who are incapable of interacting in any way other than violence.  By the end of the film, you’re left wondering whether Rane’s mission was about revenge or about his own need to destroy.

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And what an ending!  When I say that the violence in Rolling Thunder is overwhelming, I’m talking about two scenes in particular.  There’s the scene where Rane loses his hand and watches as The Texan casually executes his wife and son.  And then there’s the ending.  The final shootout was quick but it was also so brutal that I was literally shaking by the end of it.

(The scenes leading up the final shootout also featured one of the few humorous moments to be found in this otherwise grim film.  When Vohden — who is inside the brothel with a prostitute — starts to put his rifle together, the prostitute asks him what he’s doing.  “Oh,” Vohden says, in that perfectly weary way that only Tommy Lee Jones can do, “just going to kill a bunch of folks.”)

I mentioned earlier that Paul Schrader is reportedly not a fan of Rolling Thunder.  Apparently, in his original script, Charles Rane was portrayed as being a poorly educated racist, a bit of a prototype for the character that Robert De Niro played in Taxi Driver.  Ranes’s final rampage was meant to be an example of the war in Vietnam coming home and it was made much clearer that Rane’s violence was as much fueled by his own racism as by a desire for revenge.  Schrader has said that his anti-fascist script was turned into a fascist movie.

A scene from Paul Schrader's original script

A scene from Paul Schrader’s original script

With all due respect to Mr. Schrader (who I think is a very underrated filmmaker), Rolling Thunder is anything but a fascist movie.  Instead, it’s a brutal and somewhat disturbing character study of a man who will never truly escape the war in which he fought.  The fact that Rane is played by super smooth William Devane (as opposed to the redneck that Schrader apparently envisioned) only serves to make the film’s critique of hyper masculinity all the more disturbing.  It’s interesting to note that, on their own, Rane and Vohden are never presented as being particularly likable or heroic.  Instead, we root for them because the people who have hurt them are even worse.

This was how Schrader envisioned Johnny and Rane.

This was how Schrader envisioned Johnny and Rane.

Though it may be far different from what Paul Schrader originally envisioned, John Flynn’s Rolling Thunder is a film that works on every level.  It is both a visceral revenge film and a character study of a disturbed man.  It’s a powerful film that will leave you shaken and it’s one that I will probably never erase from my DVR.

There are some movies that you just don’t dare delete.

Rolling Thunder is one of those movies.

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6 Action-Filled Trailers For Memorial Day Weekend!


PCAS

Well, it’s Memorial Day weekend!  As some of you may remember, I ran into some trouble last weekend when I got my dates mixed up and I was forced to post a hastily compiled, somewhat random edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers!

Fortunately, I’ve got my dates correct this weekend!

Anyway, without further ado, here are 6 action-filled trailers for Memorial Day!

Inglorious Bastards (1978)

No, not the Quentin Tarantino Oscar winner!  This is the film that gave its name to Tarantino’s later work.  The 1978 version of Inglorious Bastards was directed by Enzo G. Castellari and stars Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson.

From Hell To Victory (1979)

This World War II film was directed by Umberto Lenzi and features a surprisingly impressive cast for a Lenzi epic.  (Surprisingly, for a Lenzi film of this period, it does not appear that Mel Ferrer is anywhere to be found in From Hell To Victory.)

The Last Hunter (1980)

This is actually one of the best Italian war films ever made.  It was directed by Antonio Margheriti (who was given a shout out in Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds) and stars David Warbeck, Tony King, John Steiner, and Mia Farrow’s sister, Tisa.  Tisa also starred in Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2.

Tiger Joe (1982)

Margheriti followed up The Last Hunter with Tiger Joe.  Also returning (though in different roles from The Last Hunter): David Warbeck and Tony King.  The female lead was played by Annie Belle, who is probably best remembered for her co-starring role in Ruggero Deodato’s The House On The Edge of the Park.

Tornado (1983)

Tiger Joe was enough of a success that Margheriti made one more Vietnam-set film, Tornado.

Last Platoon (1988)

I’ve never seen this movie but the title was probably meant to fool audiences into thinking that it was a sequel to Oliver Stone’s Platoon.  I will say that, having watched the trailer, it’s interesting to see Donald Pleasence playing an American army officer.  This Italian film was directed by Ignazio Dolce.

To all of our readers in the U.S: Have a safe Memorial Day weekend!

6 Trailers For a Mistaken Weekend


Here’s a little story.

So yesterday, I told my sister that I was going to go ahead and hop in my car and make the 45-minute drive to our uncle’s place.  She said, “Uhmmm….okay, Lisa Marie,” and, at the time, I was confused as to why she sounded confused.  After all, we go out to our uncle’s place every Memorial Day weekend.  He has a big house.  He has a big back yard and a pool that’s great for laying out and working on your tan.  Celebrating Memorial Day weekend at our uncle’s is a Bowman-Marchi Family tradition!

And so, I drove out there.  And when I arrived at the house, I thought it was weird that none of my cousins had arrived yet.  Both my aunt and my uncle seemed surprised to see me but I figured they were just wondering where my cousins were as well.  I mentioned to them that I was early and then, instead of sticking around to have a conversation, I ducked into the guest room and I changed into my favorite black bikini and then I went outside and I lay out by the pool.

And I have to admit that I was a little bit frustrated.  Unlike all of my sisters and most of my cousins, I am pretty much incapable of getting a decent tan and it didn’t help that the sky was full of clouds.  But I was even more frustrated by the fact that nobody else had shown up yet.  Didn’t they know it was Memorial Day weekend?

Except, of course, it wasn’t Memorial Day weekend.  Memorial Day weekend is next week and somehow, I managed to get my dates confused.  Both my uncle and my aunt were very understanding about my mistake and they were kind enough to both feed me and invite me to stay the weekend.  I thanked them for their kindness, told them that I couldn’t wait to come back next weekend, and then — with my face almost as red as my hair — I went home.

Shut up, Jimmy Brooks!  I’m almost done and my name’s not Ellie!  Anyway, my point is that I was planning on making the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers a Memorial Day edition.  And, next weekend, it will be.  However, for this weekend, enjoy these 6 randomly and hastily selected replacement trailers, none of which have much to do with each other…

Tender Flesh (1974)

Empire of the Ants (1977)

Prophecy (1979)

Final Exam (1981)

Aenigma (1987)

Trauma (1993)

What do you think, Manny Santos?

Uhmmm, you’re welcome…

Everyone have a great Memorial Day weekend!

6 Trailers That Will Make You Go Ape!


It’s Sunday and that means that it’s time for another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers!

For this week’s edition, we take a look at some very big monkeys!

A*P*E* (1976)

Konga (1961)

King Kong (1976)

King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

King Kong Lives (1986)

Monkey Shines (1988)

What do you think, Emma Nelson?

Damn straight, Emma!  Damn straight.

6 Trailers For Law Day


PCAS

Believe it or not, today is not just Loyalty Day in America!  It’s also Law Day!  President Dwight D. Eisenhower first proclaimed May 1st to be Law Day in 1958 and apparently, it’s been celebrated every year since.  On Law Day, Americans are meant to reflect on the role of law in the foundation of the nation and also consider its importance to the social order.

I have to admit that, as a part of my day job, I interact with attorneys on a daily basis and I have never once heard any of them mention Law Day.  But, if it’s on Wikipedia, it has to be true!

In honor of Law Day, I thought I would send out the Trailer Kitties and have them come back with 6 trailer for a new edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers!

(I know it’s been a while since I did one of these but, for a while, my favorite grindhouse trailers was one of the mainstays of this site.  In these posts, with the help of the Trailer Kitties, I highlight 6 of my favorite old school exploitation film trailers.)

Here are 6 trailers for Law Day!

(Some of these trailers are potentially NSFW so use your own best judgment before watching.)

1) Welcome Home, Brother Charles (1975)

In Welcome Home, Brother Charles, Charles is wrongly convicted and sent to prison.  When he’s released, he uses his penis to strangle his enemies.  Yes, he does.  This, incidentally, was the first film that I ever reviewed for this site.

2) Seven Hours to Judgment (1988)

It’s not easy being a judge, especially when you’re one of those judges who lets criminals out on a technicality.  I assume that’s what Seven Hours To Judgment is about.

3) Rolling Vengeance (1987)

When the law doesn’t do its job, citizens and trucks have no choice but to dispense their own brand of justice.

4) Night of the Blood Monster (a.k.a. The Bloody Judge) (1970)

This one features Christopher Lee as an evil judge and, perhaps not surprisingly, it was directed by Jess Franco.

5) Vigilante (1983)

“The police are powerless.  The law is corrupt…”  Joe Spinell is in this trailer.

6) Gordon’s War (1973)

Things may look tough out there!  But don’t worry — Gordon has a plan!

What do you think, Trailer Kitty?

Lawyer Cat

The TSL Daily Sci-Fi Grindhouse: Contamination (dir by Luigi Cozzi)


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See those green things in the picture above?  You’re probably looking at them and you’re thinking to yourself, “Those are the biggest avocados that I’ve ever seen!”

Well, they’re not avocados.

No, instead they are green eggs from Mars.  They may look harmless but if they start glowing, pulsating, and making an eerie womping noise, you might want to get away from them.  When those eggs explodes, they spray out a green goo.  Any living creatures that is so much as even splashed by this goo will then explode in a mass of blood and guts.  It’s messy.  I would not want to clean up after anyone is sprayed with green goo.

Those eggs are at the center of this week’s daily sci-fi grindhouse, the 1980 Italian film, Contamination.  How much you enjoy Contamination will largely depend on how much you like old school Italian exploitation films in general.  If you’re the type who rolls your eyes at bad dubbing and who demands that a film follow some sort of narrative logic, you are not the ideal audience for this movie.  However, if you’re like me and you enjoy the pure shamelessness of Italian exploitation, you’ll probably have an easier time enjoying Contamination.

It won’t come as a surprise to any student of Italian or grindhouse cinema to learn that Contamination was ripped off from several films that were popular in the late 70s.  The eggs are largely lifted from Alien and, whenever the goo-sprayed bodies explode, it’s reminiscent of that ugly little thing bursting out of John Hurt’s chest.  The second half of the film feels like a secondhand James Bond film, complete with a sinister conspiracy, a mysterious mastermind who earlier faked his own death, and a femme fatale.  The conspiracy is headquartered on a coffee plantation in South America.  It’s not difficult to imagine Baron Samedi or some other villain from Live and Let Die showing up and laughing before throwing an exploding egg at someone.

Contamination opens with a seemingly deserted ship floating into New York harbor.  Fans of Italian cinema will immediately think about the opening of Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2.  Just as Zombi 2 opened with the New York City police investigating an abandoned boat and getting attacked by a zombie, Contamination features the New York City police investigating an abandoned boat and getting sprayed with green goo.  The only cop who doesn’t explode, a tough New Yawker named Tony (Marino Mase), works with Col. Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau) to figure out why those eggs were on that boat.

Helping them out is an alcoholic former astronaut named Commander Ian Hubbard (Ian McCulloch).  Somewhat appropriately, McCulloch was also in Zombi 2.  (And let’s not forget about his role in Zomie Holocaust…)  I once read an interview with McCulloch (in Jay Slater’s overview of Italian zombie cinema, Eaten Alive) in which he said that he didn’t feel he did a very good job in Contamination but I think he’s being too hard on himself.  Is the very British and slightly uptight Ian McCulloch miscast as a cynical, alcoholic, American astronaut who can’t even walk to his front door without stumbling over discarded beer cans?  Sure, he is.  But he’s so miscast that it actually becomes rather fascinating to watch him in the role.  He may be miscast but you can tell he’s really trying and he’s just so damn likable that you almost feel like it would be a disservice to him not to watch the film.

Anyway, Stella, Tony, and Hubbard have to discover out why the green eggs are on Earth and they eventually do figure out what’s going on.  I’ve watched the film multiple times and I have to admit that I’m still not sure what they figured out.  It’s a confusing movie and I doubt that there’s really any way that it could have ever made any sort of coherent sense but then again, that’s part of the film’s charm.

So, here’s what does work about Contamination.  The exploding green eggs are both scary and wonderfully ludicrous.  Ian McCulloch is a lot of fun as drunk Commander Hubbard.  Goblin provides an excellent and propulsive score.  And finally, there’s an alien monster who simply has to be seen to be believed.  To his credit, director Luigi Cozzi realized that the monster looked cheap and he uses all sorts of creative editing and employed an arsenal of jump cuts to try to keep you from noticing.  Much as with McCulloch’s performance, you can’t help but appreciate Cozzi’s effort.

As I said before, you’re enjoyment of Contamination will probably be determined by how much you enjoy Italian exploitation films in general.  If you’re not familiar with the Italian grindhouse, Contamination is not the film to use for an introduction.  However, if you are already a fan, you might appreciate Contamination.

Contamination is in the public domain and, as such, very easy to track down.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (dir by Andrea Bianchi)


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“For my final entry in October’s Daily Horror Grindhouse, I want to take a few minutes to tell you about an Italian zombie film from 1981.  Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror is not very good but it certainly is memorable.  I think it’s debatable whether or not any pleasure can truly be described as being guilty but if there ever was a movie that some people might feel guilty about enjoying, it would probably be Burial Ground.”

“Is that the movie with creepy kid in it?”

“Well, yes, one of the characters in this film is supposed to be a 12 year-old boy and yes, he’s kind of creepy.  But you know what?  Whenever anyone tries to talk about Burial Ground, everyone always wants to talk about the creepy kid.  So, let’s hold off on the creepy kid…”

“That kid really is creepy…”

“Yes, I know the kid is creepy but there’s more to the film than just the kid!  For instance, I wonder how many people realize that Burial Ground is perhaps the most blatantly political Italian zombie film ever made?  I mean, let’s think about it.  This is a film where a bunch of decadent rich people get trapped in a mansion — the same mansion that was used in Patrick Lives Again, by the way — and find themselves besieged by zombies.  And who are the zombies?  They’re the former workers.  They’re the servants who used to toil in the fields and who died exploited and forgotten.  And now, without any explanation, they’re suddenly back and they’re determined to kill everyone.  And when it comes time to get inside the house, they actually use tools.  They have scythes and hammers and all the former tools of their oppression.  They are now using them to kill the rich.  Well, not just the rich.  There are two servants — a butler and a maid — who side with the rich and therefore, have to be killed as well because that’s the way things are in a revolution….”

“What was up with that kid?”

“We’ll get to him.  No matter what else you say about Burial Ground, you can’t deny that the zombies were amazingly effective.  I mean, they really looked like the living dead and, even if the ‘living’ actors were never quite convincing, the zombies were scary!”

Burial Ground (1981, directed by Andrea Bianchi)

“Not as scary as that creepyass kid…”

“You know, sometimes I think that y’all spend so much time going on about the weird little kid in Burial Ground that you tend to overlook some other fun parts of the film.  For instance, there’s the scene Janet — played by Karen Well — gets her ankle stuck in a bear trap and, every time that her boyfriend Mark (Gianluigi Chirizzi) tries to pry it open, he accidentally ends up letting go and it snaps back shut on her ankle.  On the one hand, I was having sympathy pains for poor Janet because, as a dancer, I know how much ankle pain sucks.  On the other hand, I couldn’t help but laugh because the scene just goes on for so long that it actually starts to resemble a poorly-written SNL sketch.  Plus, is it just me or does Mark look like a really young Jack Nicholson?”

“That creepy kid kind of looked like Dario Argento…”

“Yes, he did.  But there’s more to this film than the kid!  For instance, remember how it ends with this long quote from something called The Prophecy of The Black Spider but, on the title card, they misspelled prophecy…”

“Maybe the kid wrote that card…”

*Sigh*  “Okay, I guess I should just admit the truth.  The most memorable thing about Burial Ground is the creepy kid.  The zombies may be effective.  The film may be full of blood, nudity, bear traps, and misspelled words.  But ultimately, it all comes down to the character of Michael.  Michael is supposed to be 12 years old.  He has a small body but he’s also got this weird adult face.  According to the credits, he was played by an actor named Peter Bark and strangely enough, there seems to be next to no information available about him.  This has led to rumors that Peter Bark was actually a little person or that all of his scenes used trick photography to make him look smaller than he actually was.  According to Wikipedia, Peter Bark was actually 25 years old but he was cast because Italian law wouldn’t allow a child to appear in a film like Burial Ground.  I don’t necessarily believe that, however.  All I can say for sure is that Michael is a creepy little kid and the fact that he was obviously dubbed by an adult trying to sound like a child doesn’t help.”

peter-bark

“That’s not the only reason that Michael was creepy!”

“That’s true.  He also has a few … icky scenes with his mother.  She, by the way, was played by Mariangela Giordano.  Like Giallo in Venice and Patrick Lives Again, Burial Ground was produced by her boyfriend, Gabriele Crisanti.  For some reason, any film that he produced featured Mariangela dying in the most gruesome ways possible.”

“Plus, that little kid sure was creepy.”

“Yes, this is true.  He certainly was.   Happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween!”

“Before we leave, here’s two trailers for Burial Ground.  The second one is the real trailer.  The first one is all Michael.”

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Smiley (dir by Michael Gallagher)


Smiley_Movie_Poster

Oh God, this movie.

Whenever I watch 2012’s Smiley (and, since this is one of those films that always seems to be playing whenever I have insomnia, I actually have seen Smiley more times than I should probably admit), I always find myself hoping that it will actually be a better film than I remember it being.

Some of that, I have to admit, is because I once dated a frat boy whose nickname was Smiley.  His high school football coach gave him that name because he was always smiling!  (Yes, I once dated a football player who smiled a lot and didn’t really care much about literature, art, movies, history, or anything else that I was actually interested in. Don’t ask me to explain how these things happen.)  His pickup truck even had a personalized licence plate that read, “SMILY.”  That’s right — he wasn’t really sure how to spell Smiley.  Whenever I see the title Smiley listed in the guide, I think of him and I have to kind of laugh.

Beyond that, Smiley was an independent, low-budget film and I have to admit that my natural inclination is always to support independent filmmakers.  If Smiley was a huge studio production, I’d have absolutely no qualms about ripping it apart.  But when I see an indie horror film like Smiley, there’s a part of me that almost feels that I have to be supportive.  But the things is, it’s one thing to be supportive and it’s another thing to be delusional.  I may want Smiley to be a good horror film but it’s not and I’m really not doing anyone any good if I pretend otherwise.

Finally, I always want Smiley to be better than it actually is because the film features one of the creepiest killers that I’ve ever seen.  Even if the character is cheapened by a rather stupid twist, Smiley is scary looking.  Smiley is presented as being the spirit of a man who, after stitching his own eyes closed, carved a permanent smile on his face.  As a force of evil, Smiley is genuinely frightening and it’s unfortunate that the rest of the film doesn’t live up to the character’s potential.

As for the rest of the film … well, it’s pretty much your typical slasher.  All of the characters are loathsome, the murders are neither suspenseful nor gory enough to really be memorable, and this is one of those films that relies far too much on scenes of people running into someone, screaming in terror, and then discovering that it was just one of their friends.  It is true that there is a twist towards the end of the film that’s designed to make you question everything that you’ve just see but since the twist doesn’t make much sense and comes out of nowhere, it’s hard to get excited about it.  The best thing the film had going for it was the character of Smiley and the twist pretty much ruins that.

(The film’s other big twist is that the cast is full of YouTube personalities, which makes Smiley the spiritual descendant of The Scorned, a similarly bad slasher film that was full of reality TV stars.)

By the way, the idea behind Smiley is that you can go on Chatroulette and, if you type “I did it for the lulz” three times, Smiley will appear and kill whoever your chatting with.  Just for the record, I’ve tried it and it doesn’t work.*

——

* Well, to be honest, I got a friend of mine to try it and it didn’t work.  I’ve got better things to do then watch some guy jerking off on Chatroulette.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Frightmare (dir by Pete Walker)


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Since I already reviewed one British film about cannibalism earlier today, I figured why not review another one?  Pete Walker’s film Frightmare was released in 1974, two years after the release of Death Line.  You have to wonder what was going on in British society in the early 70s that led to so many cannibal films.  When watched together, Frightmare and Death Line present a vision of a society that was devouring itself, both literally and figuratively.

Frightmare tells the story of Dorothy (Shelia Keith) and Edmund Yates (Rupert Davies).  Dorothy is a fortune teller who has something of a violent temper.  Edmund is her loving but abused husband.  However, Dorothy has more than just a temper.  She also has a taste for human flesh.  She’s just spent 15 years in prison, convicted of killing and eating a man.  However, she has now been “found sane,” (and that’s a term that is repeated, with increasing irony, throughout the entire film) and she has been released.  She’s even reading fortunes again!

Jackie (Deborah Fairfax) is Edmund’s daughter by his first marriage.  She’s devoted to her father and, at the same time, scared of her mother.  She doesn’t believe that her mother is truly sane, despite the fact that her psychiatrist boyfriend, the well-meaning but arrogant Graham (Paul Greenwood), continues to remind her that Dorothy has been “found sane.”  Jackie knows that Dorothy still wants to eat human flesh so, every weekend, she takes the train to Dorothy’s home and delivers meat.  Jackie tells Dorothy that it’s human flesh but, in reality, it’s just a placebo.  When Graham finds out what Jackie’s doing, he is outraged.  After all, Dorothy has been found sane!

Jackie, however, has other things to worry about.  Her younger half-sister, the rebellious Debbie (Kim Butcher), is living with her.  Along with dating an obnoxious biker, Debbie also resents the fact that Jackie is obviously Edmund’s favorite.  And, as quickly becomes clear, Debbie is as much of a sociopath as her mother…

Speaking of which, Dorothy may have been found sane but it’s obvious that she’s not.  (Throughout the film, no matter how erratic Dorothy’s behavior becomes, Graham continually assures us that she has been found sane.)  It also become obvious that Jackie’s placebos are not doing the trick.  Dorothy is once again murdering the random people who come to get their fortunes told.  And Edmund is helping her cover up the crimes, all the while pathetically telling anyone who will listen, “They said she was sane….they said she was sane…”

Frightmare is one of those films that you really do have to see in order to understand just how effective it is.  It’s an undoubtedly pulpy story and there’s not a subtle moment to be found in the entire film but it doesn’t matter.  Frightmare is properly named because it is pure nightmare fuel.  This is a film that work both as a family melodrama and a satire on the trust that people put into authority (the authorities said that Dorothy was sane so, everyone assumes, she must be) but ultimately, this is an intense and frightening little film.  That’s largely due to Sheila Keith’s ferocious performance.  She turns Dorothy into a force of cannibalistic nature.

Feel free to have a Death Line/Frightmare double feature.  Just don’t expect to have much of an appetite afterward…

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: The House of the Devil (dir by Ti West)


When was the last time you actually saw a good movie on Chiller?  Seriously, it doesn’t happen that often and perhaps that’s why, when, a few years ago, I curled up on the couch and watched 2009′s The House of the Devil on Chiller, I wasn’t expecting much.  However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that The House of the Devil is actually one of the most effective low-budget horror films that I’ve seen in a while.

The plot of House of the Devil is pretty simple.  Samantha (a likable performance from Jocelin Donahue) is a college student who has just moved into her first apartment.  However, Samantha can’t really afford to pay the rent so she agrees to take a babysitting job for the mysterious Mr. Ullman (Tom Noonan, who is just so creepy in this film).  Ullman offers her one hundred dollars to come babysit for the night.  Samantha agrees and, with her skeptical friend Megan (Greta Gerwig, who is hilarious here), drives out to Ullman’s home.  It turns out that Ullman lives in an isolated house out in the country and that he actually doesn’t have any children.  Instead, he wants Samantha to babysit his aging mother while he goes into town so he can watch the lunar eclipse which just happens to be happening on that exact night!  Samantha is reluctant but agrees to stay when Ullman offers to pay her $400.00.

And can you guess where this story is headed?

This film isn’t titled House of the Devil for nothing.

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As I said before, I wasn’t expecting much from The House Of The Devil.  I was honestly expecting it just to be a typical, low-budget Chiller horror film, good for nothing more then maybe a laugh or two and maybe a few memorably silly gore effects.  Having now seen the film, I’m very happy to say that I was incorrect.  The House of the Devil is a well-made, effectively creepy horror film and it’s one that other horror filmmakers could very much learn from.

Don’t get me wrong.  The plot of House of the Devil isn’t going to win any points for creativity.  Even if the film didn’t open with a wonderfully self-concious title card informing us that the movie is “based on a true story” of Satanic activity, it would be pretty easy to figure out that nothing good is going to happen once Samantha goes into the house.  But that actually works to the film’s advantage.  The House of the Devil feels like an old ghost story told at a sleepover.  You know where the story’s heading but you get scared nonetheless because, ultimately, it’s the type of story that plays on the fears that everyone has.

Also, in the style of the scary ghost story told by a storyteller with a flashlight pointed up at her chin, The House of the Devil understands that the best horrors are the ones produced by an overstimulated imagination.  With the exception of two or three scenes, this is not a gory film nor is it a film that sadistically lingers over scenes of torture and carnage.  Instead, director Ti West takes his time to set up both the story and the characters.  This is a film where the horror comes more from a carefully constructed atmopshere than any sort of easy shock effects.  As a result, this is a horror film that actually stays with you after you watch it.

The House of the Devil is a film that I’m very happy to recommend.