Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.4 “Qui Transtulit Sustinet”

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week. Dr. Craig finally gets to perform his first heart transplant.

Episode 2.4 “Qui Transtulit Sustinet”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on November 16th, 1983)

It’s a busy day at St. Eligius.

While Morrison struggles to come to terms with the death of his wife, her heart is transplanted into Eve Leighton. Morrison tells Westphall that he wants to keep working at the hospital and that he doesn’t need any time off. Westphall tells Morrison that he’s too distraught to be trusted with patients and that he has to take some time off. Westphall actually has a point, even if he does come across as being a bit cold when talking to Morrison. Even Peter White, that drug-addicted sleazebag, tells Morrison that he’s needs to take some time. Seriously, I think this is the first time that Dr. White’s been correct about anything since this show began.

Dr. Craig finally gets to perform a heart transplant but afterwards, in a wonderfully-acted scene, he tells Westphall that he feels a bit let down. After all the anticipation and the preparation, Craig isn’t sure what to do now that he’s actually performed the surgery. For once, he doesn’t want to talk to the press, regardless of how much the city of Boston expects him to. It’s a nicely human moment, one that we don’t often get from Dr. Craig.

Nurse Rosenthal attempted to console another breast cancer patient and met with Mark Harmon’s Dr. Caldwell to discuss getting breast reconstruction surgery. Nurse Rosenthal’s breast cancer storyline has consistently been well-acted and well-written and it has also been consistently difficult for me, as someone who lost her mother to cancer, to watch and write about. That was certainly the case for me with this episode.

Meanwhile, Fiscus and Luther pool their money to make an investment in silver but, at the last minute, Fiscus pulls out of their investment. His nerves get the better of him. Luther makes a lot of money. Fiscus doesn’t. Hey, guys — Morrison’s wife is dead. Show some respect and save the comedy for another episode.

This was an intense episode but it ended on a beautiful note, with Dr. Morrison listening to the sound of his wife’s heart beating in someone else’s body. A beautiful note but also a very sad one. I’m worried about Jack Morrison. I’m worried about the recipient of the heart. I’m worried about Helen Rosenthal. I’m worried about the entire hospital!

Here’s hoping for happier days ahead.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.3 “Newheart”

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get dark.

Episode 2.3 “Newheart”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 9th, 1983)

What a depressing episode!

It doesn’t start out on a particularly depressing note. It opens with a bachelor part for Dr. Vijay Kochar, who is about marry a woman that he’s never actually met. (It’s an arranged marriage.) The bachelor party, which appears to have been held in Fiscus’s apartment, is a bust. Dr. White shows up with a sex doll. Victor Ehrlich shows up with a short film called “Sally Takes a Ride,” which turns out to be not the pornography he was expecting but instead, a short film about astronaut Sally Ride. Vijay mentions that he’s a virgin and soon, with the help Dr. White and Nurse Daniels, the news is all over the hospital. Kathy Martin decides to give Vijay an early wedding gift by having sex with him.

Since this episode aired in 1983, there’s a random aerobic class being held in the hospital, which leads to a lengthy scene of spandex and dancing. It’s a bit of a silly scene for what was, for the first half hour, shaping up to be a silly episode.

Fran and Jerry Singleton finally check out of the hospital. Fran has regained the ability to speak and can stiffly walk. Jerry has learned to stop being such an overbearing jerk. Dr. Morrison is not there to say goodbye to the Singletons because….

…. and here’s where things start to get dark….

….his wife is in another hospital! Jack Morrison’s wife has an offscreen cerebral hemorrhage and, as evidenced by Morrison’s tears at the end of the episode, she does not survive. At the same time that she’s dying, Dr. Craig gets a call telling him that there is finally a heart available for the transplant. And, though it wasn’t explicitly stated, it seems pretty obvious that the heart in question belonged to Morrison’s wife.

AGCK!

Seriously, how much more depressing can one episode get? And for all this to happen to Jack Morrison, who is probably the most decent character on the show, it’s just not fair! I mean, he was literally the only married intern who had a happy marriage. He has a newborn son. And now, he’s going to have to balance being a single father with being a resident.

Poor guy! I hope next week finds some sort of relief for him.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.1 “Ties That Bind”

Posted on May 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we start season 2!

Episode 2.1 “Ties That Bind”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on October 26th, 1983)

The second season is here and there are changes to be found in the opening credits.

David Birney and G.W. Bailey are no longer listed in the opening credits. I’m not sorry to see Birney go as Dr. Samuels was never that interesting of a character. I will miss Bailey’s performance as Dr. Beale.

Norman Lloyd is now listed in the credits, appearing right after Ed Flanders. Ellen Bry, Kim Miyori, and Eric Laneuville are also now listed in the opening credits. That’s good. Last season, Shirley Daniels (played by Ellen Bry) was one of the most important characters on the show and it always seemed strange that she was left out of the opening. Mark Harmon, sporting a mustache, appears in the credits, though he didn’t appear in this episode. The final addition to the opening credits is Nancy Stafford, who does appear in this episode.

Stafford plays Joan Halloran, the new city budget advisor who has been assigned to cut St. Eligius’s budget. She tells Westphall and Auschlander that St. Eligius is not popular downtown. “They call you St. Elsewhere,” she says. Joan wants to do away with the animal research lab, which is a part of the hospital that has never been mentioned before. (And with good reason. Boo, animal research, boo!) Westphall finally agrees, on the condition that the city fund Dr. Craig’s attempt to perform a heart transplant on teacher Eve Leighton (Marian Mercer).

Wisely, Dr. Craig gets a lot of screentime in this episode. If the first season seemed to often be unsure of just how abrasive the show should allow Craig to be, the second season premiere would seem to suggest that the show’s writers realized that the more abrasive Craig is, the better. Of course, Dr. Craig has good reason to be in a bad mood. As he confesses to Nurse Rosenthal, he caught his son doing drugs. Craig explains he kicked him out of the house and now, he wants nothing to do with him.

Speaking of drugs, orderly Luther (played by Eric Laneuville) finally manages to capture the thief who has been stealing all the drugs from the hospital. Dr. White is no longer under suspicion! Yay, I guess. I don’t know. Dr. White wasn’t in much of this episode but he still cames across as being a jerk. I have to admit that I groaned a little when I saw he was still on the show. A part of me is hoping he’ll get a redemption arc this season but, from his behavior during rounds, he still seems to be a jackass.

Speaking of jackasses, when Jerry Singleton (Alan Arkin) discovers that his wife, Fran (Piper Laurie), has had a stroke, he responds by crashing his car into the ER and then refusing to leave the doctors along while they try to save his wife’s life. Jerry is convincing that he knows everything and he’s very demanding. Naturally, Fran’s doctor is Jack Morrison because Morrison always gets the really depressing cases. Fran does wake up from her coma but she neither speaks no seems to hear anything anyone says to her. I can’t imagine this is going to end well, mostly because she’s Morrison’s patient and things never seem to go well when Morrison is involved. (What’s really sad is that Morrison, unlike Peter White, is a good doctor! He just has rotten luck.)

Shirley Daniels finds out that Fiscus is cheating on her with Kathy Martin, who spends most of this episode promoting cryogenics. Shirley responds by dumping Fiscus and telling him that he’s a pig. Fiscus tells Kathy that they no longer have to sneak around, just for Kathy to say that the sneaking around was the whole point. She promptly dumps Ficus.

Finally, Dr. Ehrlich meets a woman, Bobbi (Jean Bruce Scott) at the laundromat. They go back to her apartment. She strips down to her underwear. She has Ehrlich tie her to the bed. Ehrlich realizes that he has to get something from his car so he runs outside and …. gets locked out. And then he nearly gets arrested while trying to use his credit card to open the building’s door. However, the next day, Bobbi shows up at the hospital for her “encounter group,” and the two of them are reunited. Again, I have a feeling this is not going to end well, just because it involves Dr. Ehrlich.

Hey, this episode was pretty good! It moved quickly, it reintroduced us to the cast, and all of the stories were actually fairly interesting. It’s obvious that show’s producers paid attention with what didn’t work during season one and they made an effort to improve things with season two. Compared to the majority of this first season’s episodes, the pace was quicker, the humor was sharper, and just about everyone got a moment or two to shine. I’m looking forward to next week!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.22 “Addiction”

Posted on May 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the first season comes to a close.

Episode 1.22 “Addiction”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on May 3rd, 1983)

“To life,” Dr. Auschlander toasts towards the end of the finale of St. Elsewhere’s first season and the sentiment could not be more called for.

While Auschlander has spent the episode hanging out with a friend of his and getting into fights with disrespectful street punks, Dr. Morrison’s wife has been giving birth to their son. While someone breaks into the supply room and takes off with a huge supply of drugs, Dr. White is sobbing and telling his estranged wife that he knows he has to get help for his addictions. While one drug addict (Ralph Seymour) commits suicide by injecting an air bubble into his veins, Dr. Craig’s cocky son, Stephen (Scott Paulin), visits from medical school and turns out to be quite a weed-smoking, pill-popping drug user himself. Ehrlich, assigned to show Stephen around the hospital and teach him what it’s like being a resident, considers telling Dr. Craig that his son has a drug problem but apparently decides not to. Dr. Craig is very proud that his son is going to follow the family tradition of becoming a surgeon. Meanwhile, Dr. Fiscus cheats on Shirley Daniels with Kathy Martin. Fiscus, you idiot.

Life goes on at St. Eligius. That’s was the theme of the finale and it’s also been the theme of the first season. For all the bad things that happen, there are also good things. Some patients die. Some doctors are incompetent. But babies are born and doctors like Morrison and Ehrlich and Chandler haven’t given up and are still trying to make the world a better place. Dr. Auschlander may be terminally ill with cancer but he embraces life and we should all do the same.

It’s a good ending for an overall good first season. There were a few weak episodes. Dr. Samuels was a pretty annoying character and I’m a bit relieved to see that David Birney left the show after this season. Ed Flanders can be a bit overly somber as Dr. Westphall and Howie Mandel is still one of the least convincing doctors that I’ve ever seen. That said, Morrison, Ehrlich, Chandler, Nurse Daniels, and even Dr. White are interesting characters and I look forward to seeing what happens with them during season 2. The season’s stand-out was definitely William Daniels as the pompous yet still likable Dr. Craig. Other than the terrible storyline where he cheated on his wife (and I still claim that was a dream episode, like almost all of the stuff with Dr. Samuels), Dr. Craig was this season’s standout character.

Next week, we start season 2!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.21 “Baron von Munchausen”

Posted on May 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode is a much better Dr. Craig episode than last week’s.

Episode 1.21 “Baron von Munchausen”

(Dir by Victor Hsu, originally aired on April 19th, 1983)

Anthony Rizzo (Louis Giambalvo) seems like a nice guy. He’s admitted to the hospital with complaints of stomach pain and a high fever. Dr. Morrison can’t find anything wrong with him but he does notice that Rizzo has a lot of scars. Rizzo explains that he’s had a lot of surgeries over the course of his life and he’s got a story to go with each one of them. Morrison brings in Ehrlich for a consult. Ehrlich, who loves to perform surgery, suggests opening Rizzo up and doing an exploratory. Morrison thinks it’s too early for that, Rizzo, however, loves the idea. Rizzo then proceeds to die on the operating table.

Ehrlich is shaken. Morrison is angry. However, Westphall and Craig take one look at the case and deduce that Rizzo suffered from Munchausen’s Syndrome. For whatever reason, he was addicted to going to the hospital and having surgery. He knew all the tricks, from using a light blub to make it look like he had a fever to pricking his finger with a needle to convince the doctors that there was blood in his urine. It turns out that he died because of the drugs that he had been taking to help him fake his symptoms. Both Morrison and Ehrlich are relieved to learn that Rizzo’s death was not their fault.

“So, Ehrlich lost his first patient today,” Craig says to Westphall. “It won’t be his last.”

This was a good episode for Dr. Craig, especially after all that nonsense last week. When Westphall finds himself in need of a doctor to speak to a group of inner city medical students, he is horrified to discover that Mark Craig is the only one available. Craig accepts, saying that Westphall should have asked him earlier.

Westphall’s concerns are justified. Dr. Craig is opinionated, wealthy, and more than a little prejudiced against …. well, everyone. “My ancestors came here on the Mayflower!” Craig is quick to say. And yet, the students love him, specifically because he doesn’t pretend to be anything that he isn’t. Unlike Westphall, who tries give an inspiring pep talk, Craig is open about the reality of practicing medicine in what this episode refers to as being “the ghetto.” When asked if his medical student son will be working in a ghetto clinic, Craig replies, “Why would he?” Craig gets a standing ovation from the students, which felt like a bit much but whatever. It was nice, for once, to see the show admitting that Craig’s blunt honesty can sometimes be more effective than Westphall’s noncommittal style of encouragement.

Afterwards, in a wonderfully acted scene, Craig asked Westphall why people don’t seem to like him, Westphall shrugs and then says that Craig can be arrogant, rude, prejudiced, intolerant of other worldviews …. “Thank you, Donald,” Craig cuts him off.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, a crazy woman (Micole Mercurio) is sent to the psych ward after threatening to kill Nurse Daniels. (No, leave Shirley alone!) Dr. Wendy Armstrong, who is one of the worst characters on this show, promptly discharges the woman and lets her leave the hospital. “She threatened to kill me!” Shirley says while Wendy shrugs, unconcerned. Fiscus also proves to be of no help, as he is once again feeling attracted to Kathy Martin.

Finally, Dr. White goes to a drug addict support group and walks out when things get too emotional. Booo! Dr. White is even worse than Dr, Armstrong!

This was a good episode. Next week, the season finale!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.20 “Craig In Love”

Posted on May 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Dr. Craig does the unthinkable …. maybe.

Episode 1.20 “Craig In Love”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired April 12, 1983)

Dr. Craig is indeed in love in this episode. He’s totally smitten with the Hungarian Dr. Vera Anya and, when his wife Ellen (played by Bonnie Bartlett, real-life wife of William Daniels) goes out of town to visit her mother, Craig makes plans to show Dr. Anya around the town and maybe more….

Ugh. Seriously, I don’t like the idea of Dr. Craig cheating on his wife and, though this episode leaves it ambiguous as to what actually happened, it totally appears that’s what Craig did over the weekend. Dr. Craig is pompous and full-of-himself and rude to almost everyone he talks to but it’s always appeared that he totally loved his wife. The whole idea of him thinking about cheating — much less actually doing it — just doesn’t seem right for his character. And, quite frankly, Dr. Anya wasn’t really that intriguing of a character so if Craig did share more than just that passionate goodbye kiss with her …. well, I prefer to pretend this entire storyline didn’t happen.

Far more interesting was the malpractice suit brought against Dr. Chandler and Nurse Daniels. As the hospital’s lawyer explains it, there really isn’t much of a case to be made for malpractice. Instead, the dead man’s family is just hoping to get a quick settlement out of it. Most doctors aren’t willing to pay the legal fees and don’t have the time to go to court. Chandler, however, is personally offended by the suit and pledges to do whatever he has to do fight it. Yay, Chandler! Seriously, I hate people who try to bully people into settlements. After my Dad died, there was this crazy woman who thought she could bully his estate into giving her half a million dollars. Instead, she received nothing and that’s exactly what she deserved. Both Denzel Washington and Ellen Bry gave good performances this week. Ellen Bry’s Nurse Daniels is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters. She doesn’t let anyone push her around.

Speaking of pushing people around, Dr. Morrison finally got sick of Dr. White’s drug addiction and the two of them ended up having a fist fight in the men’s room. Still, when White later crashed his girlfriend’s car and needed to be bailed out of jail, Morrison was the first person that he called. Morrison, being a saint, got White out of jail. White, being a jerk, barely even said thank you. Morrison went to Westphall with his concerns about Dr. White. Westphall responded that it wasn’t his place to give a fatherly lecture. That’s cold, Westphall. What about when he kills a patient because he’s high? Will you care then? No wonder St. Eligius is getting sued for malpractice!

Finally, Dr. Samuels had a cold so he spent the entire episode whining about it. Seriously, Dr. Samuels is one of my least favorite characters of all time.

This episode was uneven for me. I’m not happy about Dr. Craig being a cheater but I am happy that Dr. Chandler is standing up for himself. Dr. White appears to be heading to a very dark place.

There’s only two episodes left in the first season so I’m assuming we’re going to get some sort of closure to at least some of these storylines. We’ll see what happens next week!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.19 “Working”

Posted on April 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, someone’s getting sued!

Episode 1.19 “Working”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on April 5th, 1983)

Dr. Morrison becomes upset when he deduces that a patient (Ed Lauter) is trying to drink himself to death so that his family can collect his life insurance. Dr. Chandler becomes upset when one of his patients dies while being admitted to the hospital and the family ends up suing for malpractice. For once, Dr. Craig is not upset because he’s been charmed by a visiting surgeon (Rita Zohar) from Hungary. And, finally, Dr. White continues to be Dr. White as he obsesses over his separation, pops pills, and screws up even the simplest of medical tasks.

It’s just another day at St. Eligius!

This was a pretty good episode. Dr. Craig’s storyline was probably the weakest but William Daniels is such a good actor and Dr. Craig was such an interesting character that even a weak Craig storyline is still better than average. (That said, the visiting surgeon’s amazement at visiting at actual McDonald’s was a bit heavy handed.)

What really made this episode stand out is that Denzel Washington finally got to do something more than just stand in the background and nod. For most of the first season, Dr. Chandler has been portrayed as being perhaps the most perfect and ultra-competent resident in the history of medical residences so it was interesting to see him not having all the answers for once. Washington did a wonderful job portraying Chandler’s transformation from being almost cocky to being worried that he actually was, in some way, responsible for his patient’s death. (The fact that the other doctors just shrugged off the man’s death made Chandler even more determined to figure things out.) In the past, Chandler has always been quick to call out other people’s errors and this episode actually features him nearly coming to blows with White over White’s terrible job performance. Seeing Chandler having to critically examine his own job performance brought a bit more depth to the character.

Speaking of Dr. White …. WHAT A JERK! The first season is nearly over and it seems like the show is building up to something terrible happening to Dr. White. Whatever it may be, it’s hard not to feel that he brought it on himself. In a hospital full of dedicated doctors, Dr. White is the guy you never want to see come in your room. I have no idea what’s going to happen with this doctor but I can’t imagine it will be a good thing.

Finally, Morrison’s storyline left me wondering why Morrison always ends up with the most melodramatic patients. That said, Ed Lauter was one of the best and his scenes with Norman Lloyd’s Dr. Auschlander were wonderfully acted by both men.

This was a good episode. We’re approaching the end of season one and I can’t wait to see how things are going to wrap up with the doctors at Boston’s most underrated hospital.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsehwere 1.18 “Dog Day Hospital”

Posted on April 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Judith Light has got a gun!

Episode 1.18 “Dog Day Hospital”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on March 22nd, 1983)

Finally, Dr. Ehrlich is performing his first solo operation. Dr. Craig is assisting but Ehrlich is in charge. He gets to play his music in the OR. He gets to decide what type of retractor to use. It’s a simple hernia operation. The patient (Sam Anderson) is awake and babbling through the whole operation.

Unfortunately, there’s also an angry woman in the OR and she has a gun. Barbara Lonnicker (Judith Light) is eight months pregnant, despite her husband claiming that he got a vasectomy at St. Eligius. As she already has several children to deal with, she wants to see the doctor who screwed up the vasectomy but she’s just as willing to shoot any other doctor to get her revenge. The operation continues while Dr. Craig and Dr. Westphall negotiate with her.

I have to admit that I did find a lot of this episode to be amusing. Ehrlich’s excitement over getting to do his first operation, Dr. Craig’s stuffy annoyance with being interrupted by a woman with a gun, and the patient’s nonstop rambling all made me smile more than once. And Judith Light, not surprisingly, was great as the woman with the gun. I loved the her husband was played by Tom Atkins. You never know who you might see at St. Eligius! That said, after the episode ended, I couldn’t help but think about how dumb the whole thing actually was. How are people always managing to get guns into St. Eligius? How did Barbara manage to get into an operating room without being stopped beforehand? (Luther does tell her that she can’t be back there but he’s the only one who seems to notice her before she bursts into the OR.) How come no one in the hospital seems to be more upset about the fact that there’s a woman waving a gun around an operating room? At one point, Barbara shoots Ehrlich’s radio and hardly anyone seems to react. The plot is played for laughs and that’s fine. But, in this case, the story was a bit too implausible for its own good.

Meanwhile, Nurse Rosenthal returned to work after her mastectomy and struggled to get back into her routine. Carolyn Pickles did a great job portraying Rosenthal in this episode. And Fiscus and Shirley Daniels visited an old woman in a nursing home. The subplots were handled well but, for the most part, this episode still felt as if it was trying a bit too hard.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.17 “Brothers”

Posted on April 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Another day, another death in Boston.

Episode 1.17 “Brothers”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on March 15th, 1983)

I swear, St. Eligius must have the worst security guards in Boston.

In this episode, Walter Schaefer (Pat Hingle), a blue collar fisherman, manages to smuggle a freaking hunting rifle into the hospital so that he can use it to kill his brother, Arthur (Richard Hamilton). Arthur was dying of cancer and didn’t have much time left. Walter had previously begged Dr. Westphall to cease giving Arthur chemotherapy and to just let his misery come to an end. Westphall declined to do so so Walter killed his brother. The episode was designed to make the viewer feel that Walter had no choice but …. eh, I don’t know. I’m not a fan of euthanasia and I find the enthusiasm for it in television and film to be a bit icky. This episode’s treatment of the issue was about as heavy-handed as they come. And seriously, couldn’t Walter have just smothered Arthur with a pillow or something? Shooting a man is dramatic but now I’m wondering about who had to clean up the room afterwards. Plus. Arthur was hooked up to a bunch of medical equipment that was probably ruined as well.

(I don’t know, it’s hard for me to judge this storyline. My Dad died in hospice care and I had to sign a DNR order before he could start it. The aggressiveness that those people showed in demanding that I sign the order still haunts me.)

On a lighter note, Ehrlich managed to get another date with Shirley, despite the fact that their previous date ended with Ehrlich drunk and making a fool of himself. Fiscus recommended a nice romantic restaurant. Of course, when Ehrlich couldn’t make the date due to his work as a doctor, Fiscus took Shirley to the restaurant. The end result is that Shirley has a crush on Fiscus and Fiscus needs to find a new place to stay because Ehrlich responded by kicking him out of the apartment.

Speaking of relationships, Dr. White is such a sleaze! He’s separated from his wife so he’s now involved with a nurse. While talking to that nurse on the phone, White was flirting with another nurse. But then, Dr. White happened to see his wife out with another man and decided he had the right to get all jealous. Ugh! What a jerk!

Finally, the episode ended with Nurse Rosenthal on the operating table, about to undergo a mastectomy. This was the subplot that actually got to me, not all of the stuff about Walter murdering his brother. Christina Pickles, who has been such a steady presence during the first season, gave a wonderful performance as Rosenthal tried to keep it together as the day of her surgery approached. This storyline brought tears to my eyes and that’s really all I have to say about it.

This was an uneven episode. The stuff with the brothers didn’t do much for me but, when the episode just focused on the doctors and the nurses, it shined.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.16 “The Count”

Posted on March 21, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to go under the knife in Boston.

Episode 1.16 “The Count”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired March 8th, 1983)

Harold Beaumont (Michael Halsey), an adult film actor better known as The Count, has checked into St. Eligius. Of course, Dr. Samuels immediately recognizes him because Samuels is obsessed with porn. Dr. Annie Cavanero does not recognize him but, once she learns what he does for a living, she has to tell him that she finds his work to be offensive because Dr. Cavanero’s entire personality pretty much revolves around getting offended by stuff.

It’s not much of a plot. There’s a process server (William G. Schilling) who wants to serve the Count with a courts summons so Samuels and Cavanero help the Count hide and disguise his identity. It’s silly and dumb story that involves the two of the least likable members of the show’s regular cast.

Meanwhile, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) comes to suspect that one of the hospital’s heart surgeons, Dr. Larry Andrews (Peter Michael Goetz), is giving pacemakers to people who don’t actually need them. She takes her concerns to Dr. Craig. Craig, an old friend of Dr. Andrews, is initially dismissive but he later confronts Dr. Andrews and finds out that Armstrong was correct. Dr. Andrews explains that it takes a lot of money to fund his lifestyle. This story was an improvement over the Count but it perhaps would have had more power if it had been someone like Dr. Ehrlich who suspected that Dr. Andrews was giving people pacemakers that they don’t need. Ehrlich actually has a complicated relationship with Dr. Craig and his own less-than-stellar record as a resident would have added some ambiguity to storyline. Dr. Armstrong, on the other hand, has been portrayed as being hypercompetent and a bit self-righteous and, if we’re going to be honest, she’s kind of a boring character.

Speaking of Dr. Ehrlich, he is getting fed up with living with Fiscus. Howie Mandel is driving someone crazy? Who could have seen that coming?

This week’s episode was pretty forgettable. The story involving Dr. Andrews had potential but choosing to make the show’s least interesting characters the center of an entire episode was a decision that really didn’t pay off.