Carl Archer (Charles Aidman) is a recovering alcoholic who returns home after an extended stay in a rehab. His wife (Julie Adams, of Creature of the Black Lagoon and The Last Movie fame) is skeptical about whether or not Carl has really sobered up and is prepared to be a responsible father to their son, Steve (Charles Herbert). When Steve gets trapped in a cave, will Carl be able to use their psychic connection to find and rescue him?
Can you prove this didn’t happen!?
This episode originally aired on February 24th, 1959.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the fourth season premiere concludes.
Episode 4.2 “The Drop-Ins Part 2”
(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on September 11th, 1978)
When last we saw the Sweathogs, they were planning on dropping out of school and getting real jobs, just like Barbarino.
At the start of the second part of the fourth season premiere, we discover the details of Barbarino’s new job. He does indeed work at the hospital but, unlike what his classmates assumed, he’s not a doctor. He’s not a nurse. He’s not an X-ray technician. He’s an orderly. He mops the floor and he changes the sheets and he fluffs the pillows. As he puts it, “I make 68 dollars a week and ten of that goes to Uncle Sam.”
(Little does Barbarino know that only having to give ten dollars to Uncle Sam would sound pretty good to future viewers. I imagine by this point next year, we’ll be giving every cent to Uncle Sam and maybe we’ll be lucky to get some stale bread and Flint water in return. And, of course, everyone will pretend to love it.)
Gabe comes down to see Barbarino. He tells Barbarino that the Sweathogs look up to him and he asks Barbarino to talk to them about staying in school. Barbarino, who is mopping the floor, points out that he dropped out and he’s already got a job.
“If this is all you want to do with your life,” Gabe says, looking at Barbarino’s mop and bucket, “you didn’t need to go to school.”
“Now you to tell me,” Barbarino replies.
As for the Sweathogs, they’ve already talked to Barbarino and applied for jobs at the hospital. But, looking over their applications, they realize that they have no job experience, no educational accomplishments, and no chance of getting a job.
When a patient nearly dies because Barbarino didn’t know how to push the emergency button or where to find the crash cart, he realizes that he needs to get more education. Soon, he and the Sweathogs are standing in the doorway of Mr. Kotter’s classroom, ready for a new schoolyear. Barbarino says he’s going to be a doctor but he knows he has to graduate high school first. As for the other Sweathogs — well, they’re 40 year-old high school students. What other choice do they have but to go to class?
Part Two of The Drop-Ins is a significant improvement on Part One, largely because the majority of the episode follows John Travolta’s Barbarino. None of the Sweathogs were bad actors but, when watching an episode like this one, it’s easy to see why Travolta’s the one who went on to become a movie star. As Barbarino, Travolta just has a natural charisma that can’t be faked. Of the main Sweathogs, Barbarino is the one who you really find yourself hoping will eventually graduate. He’s just such a nice guy, even if he is a little …. slow.
And so ends the fourth season premiere. The Sweathogs are back in class …. but for how long?
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
Agck! Stranger danger!
Episode 2.12 “The Playhouse”
(Dir by Tom McLoughlin, originally aired on January 28th, 1989)
Mike and Janine Carlson (played by Robert Oliveri and Lisa Jakub) are two young siblings living in the suburbs. They don’t have much of a life. Their mother (Belinda Metz) is neglectful and continually complains that her children are the reason why she can’t find a rich boyfriend. Mike and Janine don’t appear to have any close friends. Children are vanishing all over town and parents are telling their kids, “Don’t go off with strangers!” but no one seems to care enough about Mike and Janine to even check to make sure that they haven’t been kidnapped.
Mike and Janine have a playhouse, a gift that was given to them by one of their mother’s former boyfriends. The playhouse is the only place where they feel happy. It’s a place where they literally get anything that they wish for. But sometimes, the door to the playhouse is locked. When that happens, Mike and Janine have to convince someone else to go into the playhouse. Once someone enters the playhouse, they find themselves trapped in a nightmarish world that is full of evil clowns and other circus figures. Mike and Janine have to chant, “I hate you! I hate you!” while the playhouse claims its victims.
Agck! Seriously, this is a disturbing episode! Not only are Mike and Janine terribly abused but almost all of their victims are children. Perhaps because of the age of the people involved, this is the only episode of Friday the 13th: The Series in which no one dies. They’re held prisoner in the playhouse and probably traumatized for life but they don’t die. Fortunately, that means that they can be freed once Jack convinces Mike to chant, “I love you!” instead of “I hate you!”
Yep, this episode is all about the power of love but you really have to wonder if all of Mike and Janine’s problems can be solved by chanting, “I love you!” I mean, aren’t the other kids going to remember that Mike and Janine held them prisoner in a nightmare universe? The episode may end with the playhouse defeated by Mike and Janine are still living in that terrible suburb and their mother is still a resentful alcoholic. Even though this episode has what would most would consider to be a happy ending — the kids are free! — it’s still incredibly dark.
This episode definitely left me feeling a bit shaken. I hate seeing children in danger and that’s what this episode was all about. Even things that sound kind of silly — like Mike chanting “I hate you!” while the playhouse does its thing — are actually rather disturbing when viewed. The child actors are almost too convincing in this episode. In the end, Jack says that all you need is love but this episode leaves you wondering if he’s correct.
On tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, Cloris Leachman plays Rita Wallace, an American photographer in France. She’s looking for a model whose face will serve as the ultimate symbol of the country. One day, a haunted-looking man (Marel Dalio) shows up at her apartment. She thinks he’s a model. The truth, needless to say, is something quite different….
This episode features good performances from both Leachman and Dalio. In real life, Dalio was an icon of French cinema and a favorite of Jean Renoir’s. When the Nazis invaded France, the Jewish Dalio fled Paris and, after a harrowing journey, eventually made it to America. In America, he played the croupier in Casablanca and appeared in several other films. Tragically, the rest of his family did not escape and were murdered by the Nazis. Dalio returned to France after the end of the war and remained an in-demand character actor for several more decades, making his final film appearance in 1980.
The Darkroom originally aired on February 10th, 1959.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Terri is approached by a man who claims to be a political refugee. But is he really? It’s a good thing T.S. Turner doesn’t have anything better to do than help her out.
Episode 3.17 “Nightmare”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on April 28th, 1990)
While walking down the street in Canada, Terri is approached by a desperate man (William Colgate), who introduces himself as Sebastian Fuentes. He explains that he was a newspaper editor in his native country of San Miguel. After a left-wing death squad killed his family, Sebastian fled to North America. Now, he needs Terri’s help to be designated a refugee. He claims that there are people from San Miguel who want him dead and, for that reason, he cannot risk going to the authorities or even being seen in Terri’s office. He says he has to hide, no matter what.
Terri doesn’t know anything about immigration law. Both T.S Turner and a sleazy lawyer named Kerr (Don Allison) warn her that she shouldn’t be so quick to believe Sebastian’s story. But something about Sebastian’s fear touches Terri’s heart and she agrees to help him.
Unfortunately, it turns out that both Turner and Kerr were correct. Sebastian is actually a colonel who murdered the real Sebastian. The nightmares that haunt him are not about watching his family being killed but instead about being the killer himself. The people who are searching for him are not government agents but instead the relatives of the people who he victimized in his home country. Eventually, Sebastian’s real identity is discovered by some fellow refugees (one of whom is played by a young Jill Hennessy) and he ends up in prison, haunted by his crimes.
This was an unusually serious episode of T and T. Indeed, it was shot more like an episode of Monsters than a typical episode of this show. Unfortunately, with the exception of Don Allison’s performance as the sleazy Mr. Kerr, the acting in this episode was pretty dodgy and it was easy to guess that Sebastian was going to turn out to not be who he said he was.
Probably the most interesting thing about this episode is that it aired 34 years ago but the issues that it deals with are the same issues that are going on today. Dictators are still coming to power and abusing their citizens and, as a result, refugees are still flooding over the border. The immigration system is still broken and it doesn’t appear that anyone is truly interested in finding a way to fix it. This episode aired in 1990, long before men like Venezuela’s Maduro came to power. The issues that are dealt with in this episode existed before the current crop of dictators and they will undoubtedly continue even after people like Maduro fade into history.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!
This week, things get a little bit sad on the highway to Heaven.
Episode 2.19 “Heaven on Earth”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 26th, 1986)
Now, this episode made me cry!
While visiting an amusement park on their day off, Jonathan and Mark come across a lost six year-old girl named Sarah (Morgan Nagler). Jonathan offers to take Sarah to the park’s security office but Sarah says that she’s not allowed to go anywhere with a stranger. After explaining that he’s a former cop and knows how to deal with lost children, Mark asks Sarah for the name of her mother. After learning that Sarah’s mother is named Nancy, Mark goes to the security office and has them page her. Soon, Sarah and Nancy are reunited. Yay!
Later, as they drive through the desert, Mark and Jonathan are nearly run off the road by a drunk driver. A few moments later, they come across an auto accident. The owner of a jeep swerved to avoid the drunk and instead crashed into a station wagon. Jonathan suddenly tells Mark that they should leave but Mark walks up to the overturned car and discovers that it was being driven by Nancy. Nancy survived the accident but Sarah did not.
Broken-hearted, Mark blames himself. He tells Jonathan that, if he hadn’t been so eager to show off, Sarah and Nancy wouldn’t have left the park when they did and they wouldn’t have been in the car accident. Mark pulls the car over to the side of the road and tells Jonathan to get out. Jonathan reluctantly does so and Mark drives off.
Mark drives until the car runs out of a gas on the outskirts of a small town. The proprietor of a local store tells Mark that the town’s pretty much been dead since the new turnpike was built. There are two gas stations but they’re both closed on Wednesday because the owners like to go fishing together. Reluctantly, Mark goes to the local boarding house and asks for a room for the night.
Mark is shown his room by a helpful girl named Wendy (Alyson Croft). Inside his room, Mark spots a picture of Wendy with Sarah and realizes that Jonathan led him to the boarding house. Later, at dinner, Mark meets Wendy’s father, a divinity student named Tom Ward (Michael Anderson, Jr.) When Wendy goes to call her friend Sarah to find out how the amusement park was, Mark can only sit in silence as Wendy tells her father that Sarah’s family wants to speak to him. Without telling Wendy why, Tom says that he has to go to Sarah’s house. He tells Wendy to get to bed early and then he leaves with his wife and their infant son.
Mark goes back to his room. Wendy pops in and to give him a heater because the furnace is broken. Unfortunately, the heater is also broken and makes an annoying clicking sound. Mark angrily kicks it over before going for a walk.
While standing outside of a church, Mark hears the sirens of fire engines. The Ward house is on fire! The firemen manage to get out Wendy’s grandmother but they say there’s no way to rescue anyone else. Mark rushes into the house, determined to save Wendy. And …. he promptly faints.
When he awakens, he’s with Jonathan. Jonathan says that “the boss” has decided to give Mark the chance to play God. Mark says that he wants everything he wishes to be true and that he wants all of his mistakes to be corrected as if they never happened.
As a result, the town is suddenly thriving but the proprietor of the now 24-hour gas station is dead as a result of having worked himself to death. Wendy is alive but, because Mark wished for her to have everything she ever wanted, she’s now a spoiled brat. And Sarah….
When Mark demands to see Sarah, Jonathan takes him to the cemetery and shows him that Sarah is still dead. Jonathan explains that Sarah’s death was not his fault. It was the fault of the drunk driver and there was nothing Mark could have done to save her.
Mark awakens in the burning house. Not only does he manage to save Wendy’s life but, once he’s released from the hospital’s burn unit, he and Jonathan once again hit the highway….
This was a good episode, though I have to say that the Wards were a lot more forgiving about Mark burning down their house than I would have been. This episode worked largely due to Victor French’s heartfelt performance as Mark. Watching him, it was impossible not to feel his pain. In the end, the message was a good one, though I do think it would have been nice to see the drunk driver punished for his actions.
Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond features Jocelyn Brando (sister of Marlon) as a purported psychic who warns a skeptical man that he will soon be traveling by train, that he will meet a woman with an usual, snake-design ring, and that she will end up chasing him with a knife.
The man laughs her off. Why, he never travels by train! Sure, he has a trip coming up but he’s already paid for his plane tickets. This just proves what the man has always suspected, that psychic’s are all phony! But then he gets a message that his flight has been cancelled and he’s going to have to travel to his destination by …. TRAIN!
CAN YOU PROVE IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!?
This episode originally aired on February 3rd, 1959.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, a mudslide changes everything …. kind of.
Episode 1.12 “The Big Storm”
(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 10th, 1999)
Stads and Jason are coming up on their big, six-month anniversary! Stads wants to celebrate at a volleyball tournament. Jason wants to celebrate at the “Puff Daddy” concert. You can really tell how old this show is by the fact that 1) they’re still calling him “Puff Daddy” and 2) they’re taking seriously the idea of wanting to see him in concert.
With Stads annoyed that Jason never seems to want to do anything that she wants to do, Jason turns to Sam for advice. Sam says that Jason should drive into Beverly Hills and buy a necklace that Stads wants. Sam even accompanies Jason on the drive. Awww! What a good freind.
But then — oh no! — a storm hits. Jason and Sam end up getting trapped in their car by a mudslide. Trapped together, Jason and Sam share a kiss. Its a big moment that would have been bigger if it made any sense. Seriously, until that moment, Sam had never shown any interest in Jason whatsoever. But now, suddenly, they’re kissing and preparing to die together. I understand that it’s probably mudslide panic but still, it just feels as if it comes out of nowhere.
Fortunately, Jason and Sam are rescued by the lifeguards (including Stads). Jason and Sam agree not to tell Stads about the kiss. Jason also gives Stads the necklace (Awwww! It’s a nice necklace!) and then suggests that, instead of seeing Puff Daddy, they just have a romantic dinner. Stads agrees.
Unfortunately, at dinner, Stads says that she knows what happened in the car. Jason says the kiss didn’t mean anything, just to discover that Stads was just referring to Jason and Sam talking in general. Stads gives Jason back his necklace and then dumps him. Good for Stads, she deserves better!
This is one of those storylines that would have worked better if I actually cared about any of the characters on the show but, for the most part, everyone is so shallow that it’s hard to really get worked up when they get trapped in a mudslide. As well, it would have helped if Sam had ever previously shown any interest in Jason. As well, while Jason did have a crush on Sam when the show began, that didn’t seem to last long. Two people who produce absolutely no romantic sparks shared a kiss. It didn’t really do much for me.
As often happens with this show, the B-plots were better than the main plot, largely because Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor were both willing to full embrace the absurdity of their characters. After Peter told Murray to stop talking so much, Murray resorted to typing his words out on his laptop and having a computerized voice repeat them. That made me laugh. Meanwhile, Tracy — who is now dating Kip, the dumb lifeguard from the previous episode — explored her artistic side by getting a camera and taking pictures of a shirtless Scott wearing an Abraham Lincoln beard. It was weird enough to be funny.
Anyway, Stads has escaped Jason …. for now. Run, Stads, run!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, it’s all about dreams!
Episode 2.16 “Perchance to Dream”
(Dir by Paul Boyington, originally aired on February 4th, 1990)
Alex (Raphael Sbarge) is a college student whose dorm room has become one wild place. Blood continually drips from a chair. A subway train occasionally roars past the window. A giant nun peeks in on him and tries to swat him with a ruler. These are all images that Alex used to see in his dreams but now, they’re entering his waking world and what’s really strange is that everyone else can see them too. His subconscious has become reality.
Thinking that it might have something to do with a recent mugging in which Alex struck his head and apparently lost the ability to sleep, Alex’s girlfriend, Megan (Sarah Buxton), asks Kyle (Kenneth Danziger), an expert on dreams, for help. Arriving at Alex’s dorm room just in time to save Alex from the nun and her ruler, Kyle theorizes that, because Alex isn’t sleeping, he’s projecting his dreams into the real world. The only solution is for Alex and Megan to enter a portal that leads them straight into Alex’s subconscious. If Alex can find his dream self, he can finally get some rest. Of course, Alex and Megan will have to avoid and defeat a series of trains, muggers, and nuns to accomplish their task.
This episode is entertainingly goofy. It was obviously inspired by the popularity of the Nightmare on ElmStreet films but the monster here is not a wisecracking killer like Freddy Krueger but instead, it’s just Alex’s bad childhood memories and the trauma of having been mugged. As I watched this episode, I was impressed that Monsters tried to do something different than usual but I was also very aware that 20 minutes was not enough time to tell the story that this episode wanted to tell. For this episode to really work, the viewer would have to feel a deep connection to Alex. Raphael Sbarge gives a likable performance as Alex and he has a really cute chemistry with Sarah Buxton but 20 minutes still isn’t enough time to really get to know the guy.
When seen today, the special effects are undeniably primitive but there’s something kind of charming about that. The scene where the giant nun tries to swat Alex with a ruler looks silly today and I imagine it probably looked silly in 1990 as well but it’s a fun kind of silly. The same can be said of the scene where Alex and Megan plunge into his subconscious. CGI has come a long way but today’s realistic CGI just doesn’t have the do-it-yourself charm of early chroma keying and matte shots. I liked that Alex’s subconscious was not only goofy but cheap as well.
For today’s televised horror, we have the second episode of the 1960s anthology series, One Step Beyond.
In this episode, a young Englishwoman is haunted by dreams of drowning. Try as she might, she can’t get the feeling of doom out of her mind. Perhaps her upcoming trip to New York will help to relax her. Her fiancee even tells her that they’ll be traveling to New York on the most luxurious ship ever built. The name of that ship? Why, the Titanic, of course.
For the record, there actually were quite a few people who apparently did have psychic premonitions of doom when it came to the Titanic. Perhaps the most infamous example was the author Morgan Robertson, who wrote a novel in 1898 that was called The Wreck of the Titan: Or, Futility. That book managed to perfectly predict that sinking of the Titanic, right down to the iceberg and the number of lives lost.
This episode originally aired on January 27th, 1959.
Through the Shattered Lens 