Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.14 “The Contender”

Posted on January 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S Turner returns to the ring!

Episode 2.14 “The Contender”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

T.S. Turner meets Kevin Hart!

No, not that Kevin Hart.

Instead, the Kevin Hart in this show is a boxer and he’s played by an actor named Phillip Jarrett. (Kevin Hart, I immediately, noticed was very handsome for someone who made his living getting punched in the face by professionals. I checked with the imdb and I was not surprised to learn that Phillip Jarrett was a model before he went into acting.) Kevin Hart is a contender for the championship but his trainer has vanished. With the big fight coming up, Hart’s manager asks T.S. Turner to train him for the fight.

Kevin Hart turns out to be a boxer with an attitude. He shows up at Decker’s Gym with his entourage and is miffed to discover that Turner is running late. “What does T.S. stand for?” Hart demands to know, “Too Stupid?”

“Temporarily Sorry,” Turner says as he steps into the gym.

“Temporarily?”

“Yeah,” Turner growls, “I was sorry but now I’m not.”

Turner works hard to train Hart. Or, at least, it appears that he works hard. For the most part, we just see a montage of Hart doing physical stuff while Turner yells at him. Despite Turner’s efforts, Hart doesn’t even seem to care about the fight. He does care when someone takes a shot at him in the gym. Pressured by Turner, Hart finally confesses that he agreed to take a dive. He also says that all of his other fights were fixed as well. That’s why his former trainer ran away. He didn’t want to be involved with a boxer who was owned by the Canadian Mafia.

Turner doesn’t have any time for that attitude. He tells Hart that he has the talent to win the fight on his own. He also tells Hart that it’s time to fight like a man and win. Inspired by Turner’s words, Hart does just that. By the end of the show, Hart is the champ. I imagine he’s got the mob after him now but oh well. I mean, Sonny Liston reportedly upset the mob and he still managed to live a full and exciting life until his mysterious death at the age of 40. So, I’m sure boxing’s Kevin Hart will be fine and maybe, some day, he’ll change his mind about hosting the Oscars.

The way to make watching this episode entertaining is to pretend that Mr. T was playing Clubber Lang and not T.S Turner. Apparently, in an early draft of his script for Rocky Balboa, Sylvester Stallone wrote a scene in which it would be revealed the Lang changed his ways and became a preacher after losing his rematch with Rocky. So, this episode of T and T — and really, the entire series — works best as Clubber Lang fan fiction. As Rocky said at the end of Rocky IV, “Everybody can change!”

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/14/24 — 1/20/24

Posted on January 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I am typing this post on a new laptop. Woo hoo!

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

American Nightmare (Netflix)

This was a disturbing, 3-part docuseries about a woman who was kidnapped and raped and then put on trial by the police and the media, all of whom seemed to be determined to prove that she was a real life “gone girl.” This series was just infuriating to watch and everyone who nearly allowed Matthew Muller to get away with his crimes should be ashamed of themselves.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I need to write a review about this week’s episode so I guess I better get on that.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which a man was concerned that his much younger girlfriend was cheating on him with another woman. She confessed, while being interrogated by a former military interrogator, that he was correct. The Cutlers were there to help this couple through the drama.

On Saturday, I discovered an entire YouTube channel dedicated to Couples Court so I probably won’t get anything accomplished for the first half of 2024.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

On Monday morning, as I shivered in the living room, I got caught up on Hell’s Kitchen and watched the first Black Jacket Service. What a disaster that turned out to be! I felt bad for Jonathan, who did not react well to Chef Ramsay taunting him about how much he drank before dinner service. Jonathan had a point, in that Ramsay really was kind of making it personal. At this point, I think the final two will be Ryan and Sammi. I’m Team Ryan all the way!

On Thursday, I cheered as Ryan and Sammi made it to the final three. I probably would have kept Carmen and sent Jonathan home but I can understand Ramsay’s logic. Jonathan had more experience than Carmen and Carmen did struggle early on in the season.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Maury (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode with DNA results. All of the episodes of Maury to blend together, which I guess is the appeal of them. They demand very little on the part of the viewers.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I was actually bored enough on Wednesday to watch the first four episodes of this show’s second season. While the ensemble seems to be gelling a bit better than they did during the first season, Night Court just isn’t that funny. Every joke sounds like it’s been sitting in some writer’s idea drawer since 2005.

Poochinski (YouTube)

I wrote about Poochinski here!

Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Steve talked to a pregnant 17 year-old. She thought her boyfriend was 25. It turned out he was 38! Needless to say, Steve kicked him off the stage while the audience chanted Steve’s name.

On Thursday, I watched an episode about threesomes that led to pregnancies. The audience loved it but Steve seemed to be disappointed by everyone on his stage.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.13 “Hunted”

Posted on January 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, someone takes a contract out on T.S. Turner’s life!

Episode 2.13 “Hunted”

(Dir by Richard Oleksiak, originally aired on February 6th, 1989)

Someone has hired a hitman to take out T.S. Turner!

Fortunately, Hickson (Timothy Webber) is not a very good hitman and he somehow fails to shoot Turner despite having a high-powered rifle and, during the initial attempt on Turner’s life, the advantage of surprise. (Technically, he misses because T.S. moved to get a parking ticket off of his car’s windshield at the exact moment that Hickson fires his rile but still, it’s not like T.S. is a small target. The hitman just isn’t that good at his job.)

Despite the fact that someone has just tried to kill him, Turner doesn’t want to go to the police. This actually makes sense when you consider that Turner spent years in prison for a crime that he didn’t commit. He has every reason to distrust the police. He has personally experienced how they can screw up a case. That said, Amy decides to go to the police on her own. This leads to Detective Deakin (Matt Birmin) being assigned to keep Turner from leaving Decker’s Gym.

Turner is not happy about this and actually, it turns out that Turner’s instincts are correct. Deakin is the man who hired the hitman! It turns out that Deakin’s younger sister was an innocent bystander who was injured during a high-speed chase involving Turner and a bunch of criminals. Turner may have caught the criminals but Deakin’s sister slipped into a coma and died. Deakin has spent years obsessing on Turner and he is determined to get his revenge.

What’s interesting that, when Turner finds all of this out, he actually feel very guilty about what happened to Deakin’s sister, to the extent that he doesn’t blame Deakin for wanting him dead. One thing about action shows like this is that there are always innocent bystanders who witness every car chase or shoot-out but it’s rare that we ever hear about how they were effected by suddenly being exposed to so much violence. How does the person who witnesses a bad guy being shot just a few feet away from them react? How does it effect their lives? Myself, I would totally be freaked out and I would probably have trouble sleeping afterwards. Often times, shows like this concentrate so much on the action that they ignore the human aspect of it all. T and T deserves some credit for at least acknowledging that Turner’s actions, even when he’s fighting on the side of the law, have consequences.

That said, Deakin is still technically the bad guy and, when he and Hickson corner Turner in a water treatment plant, Turner points out that, as soon as Hickson shoots Turner, Deakin is going to shoot Hickson to cover up his involvement. This leads to Hickson turning on Deakin and the two of them end up shooting each other. Turner survives and hopefully, he’ll be a better drive from now on.

This was a surprisingly good episode. Matt Birmin gave a good performance as Deakin and the water treatment plant was a properly atmospheric location for a final stand-off. The second season of T and T has been hit-and-miss but this episode definitely worked.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/7/24 — 1/13/24

Posted on January 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m sitting here as a cold front rolls through my town. The temperature is way below freezing and it will remain that way for at least the next three days. So, I look forward to hiding underneath a lot of blankets and watching a lot of TV between now and Thursday morning.

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out will be dropping later tonight.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

My review of Degrassi Junior High will (finally) post tomorrow! Keep hope alive!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I had a two-part episode of Dr. Phil on as background nose. Dr. Phil was talking to people who felt their sons and daughters had been brainwashed by a cult in Louisiana. And indeed, they had been. Cults are weird. I never know how to react to people who fall for that stuff.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (YouTube)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Maury (YouTube)

On Friday, I used two paternity tests episodes of Maury for background noise while I was watching. I feel very disappointed in myself. On Saturday, I disappointed myself even further by watching an episode of Maury that featured lie detector tests.

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday, I watched an episode of this show from the 90s. It featured music video profiles of The Kinks and The Cure, along with a tour of Universal Studios.

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this ancient talk show on Thursday. Sally talked to kids who were being bullied and then confronted the bullies on the air. I felt bad for all of the bullied kids, except for the one who said being bulled made him hate America. If that’s how you feel, move.

On Friday, I watched an episode about women who could not forgive their men for cheating. I don’t blame them but I bet half of them ended up marrying the guy anyways.

Saved By The Bell (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

Casey Kasem hosted a dance contest and encouraged everyone to do the sprain. Jessie freaked out because a short guy wanted to date her. A new substitute teacher taught everyone to appreciate Shakespeare. Wow, this was a dumb but addictive show.

The Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I put on an episode of Steve Wilkos for background noise. Steve was screaming at a woman who he felt was an unfit mother. And who knows? Maybe she was an unfit mother. But Steve definitely came across as being a bully and his chanting audience didn’t help matters.

On Saturday morning, I watched an episode in which Wilkos threw several chairs across the stage while the crowd chanted, “Steve! Steve! Steve!”

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Turn-On! (YouTube)

I wrote about the second episode of Turn-On! here!

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched an episode of this old music video show. The episode was from 1985 and it featured a lot of good music, along with some slightly annoying hosts.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.12 “Wendell’s Story”

Posted on January 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

T.S. Turner protects a man who finds some money! Didn’t he already do this?

Episode 2.12 “Wendell’s Story”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 30th, 1990)

Who is Wendell?

Wendell (played by Wayne Robson) is beloved figured in this show’s fictional Canadian city. Wendell lives on the streets, sleeping in a tent in an alley and spendinh his days eating whatever food he happens to come across. Wendell is good-natured and he doesn’t take it personally when the local teenagers toss a half-eaten apple at him. Wendell is such a nice guy that, when he comes across a duffel bag full of money, he doesn’t keep the money for himself but he instead starts handing it out to random people. It’s his way of thanking everyone for helping him and everyone is very polite about waiting their turn to be handed some money.

Way to go, Wendell!

Unfortunately, the duffel bag belonged to two incompetent crooks named Errol (Gareth Bennett) and Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea). Now, when I say incompetent …. listen, T and T has featured it’s share of dumb criminals but there have never been any dumb as these two. Not only do they lose the duffel bag but they also continually lose track of Wendell. They’re the type of crooks whose ammo clips regularly fall out of the guns. These guys may be incompetent but they do fire a gun at T.S. at one point. T.S. escapes injury but, as he explains to Amy, shooting at him makes things “personal.”

T.S.’s plan to protect Wendell and catch the bad guys is to have his friend Decker wear a fake beard and pretend to be Wendell. It’s a good plan, except the bad guys come up with a similar plan and, as a result, there are two fake Wendells wandering around and T.S. has to figure out which one to beat up. T.S. gets so confused that it gives the bad guys time to to get the drop on him. Fortunately, the bad guys once again fail to load their guns correctly, which gives T.S. and Decker time to knock them both out with one punch.

This was not a particularly complicated episode. Nor was it a very suspenseful one, as the bad guys were such idiots that they never came across as being any sort of threat. More time was spent with Wendell teaching Joe how to live on the streets than on the villains trying to get their money back. (Why is Wendell teaching Joe how to live on the streets? It was T.S.’s idea, which leads me to wonder if T.S. is planning on kicking Joe out of the gym at some point in the near future.) As for Amy, she spent most of this episode setting up her new office and getting annoyed with the perfectly nice guy who had an office across the hall. The show may be called T and T but it’s usually one T who gets to do anything.

This was a bit of a forgettable episode but Mr. T did yell, “Hey, fool!” after the bad guys attempted to shoot him so that was kind of fun.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.11 “Hard Way Home”

Posted on January 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

T and T is back …. with a kidnapping!

Episode 2.11 “Hard Way Home”

(Dir by Al Waxman, originally aired on January 23rd, 1989)

Joe has the worst luck when it comes to making new friends!

One of the main themes of the second season of T and T has been T.S. (and, occasionally, Amy) acting as a mentor for teenage Joe Casper. The season began with Joe losing his mother to a bomb that was set by Canadian Neo-Nazis. T.S. apparently adopted Joe and now, the kid spends all of his time at Decker’s gym. Whenever Joe makes a new friend, they either turn out to be a criminal or a victim of a crime.

This week, Joe’s new friend is George Papadopolous (David Stratton), who invites Joe to toss a football around with him in the park. However, once they get to the park, George is grabbed by a couple of thugs and tossed into the trunk of a car. Joe chases the car and even grabs onto the bumper but ultimately, he can’t save George.

When a banged-up Joe returns to Decker’s gym, T.S. assures him that his new scars will make him the most popular kid at his school. Joe then calls George’s father and is told that the whole kidnapping was a prank and that he shouldn’t call the police. This sounds strange to T.S. so he investigates on his own.

It turns out that George’s father is Peter (George Sperdakos), a big man in Toronto’s Greek mafia. Someone has kidnapped George and is demanding a huge ransom. Members of the Greek community are all donating their own money to help Peter raise the amount. Because Joe was able to get the license plate number of the car that George was tossed into, it doesn’t take long for T.S. to discover that George was abducted by Peter’s rival, a used car dealer named Frangos (George Touliatos). However, Frangos is not working alone. It turns out that Peter arranged the kidnapping of his own son so that he could pocket the ransom money!

Needless to say, thinks work out in the end. George is freed and Peter is arrested. At first, Amy tells T.S. that there is no way that she would ever agree to represent Peter because 1) she knows that Peter is guilty and 2) Peter can’t afford to pay. But then the members of Greek community (who are apparently very forgiving) donate their own money to convince Amy to defend Peter in court. Does Amy win the case? The episode ends before we find out.

This episode really showed the disadvantage of trying to tell a story like this in just 30 minutes. There was never any suspense over who kidnapped George because there was only time to introduce one suspect! Peter turning out to be in on it was a nice twist but it came out of nowhere because there really wasn’t any time to properly set it up. This would have been a good hour episode but, at 30 minutes, it just felt rushed and it didn’t have any fun Mr. T line readings. Toronto looked nice and cold but otherwise, this was a forgettable episode.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/24/23 — 12/30/23

Posted on December 30, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy holidays! I’ve been visiting my sister Megan this week. Unfortunately, I’ve also been dealing with a cold this week. As a result, I’ve spent a lot of time in my sister’s guest room, getting caught up on all the daytime dramas!

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched:

All You Need Is Love (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched an episode of this documentary series about the history of American music. The episode dealt with the birth and popularity of jazz. It featured a lot of very good music. It also featured an interview with Hoagy Carmichael, who Ian Fleming often claimed James Bond was meant to physically resemble.

The Bold and the Beautiful (Weekday afternoons, NBC)

This week, I got caught up with this wonderfully over-the-top daytime drama. I think it had been over a year since I last watched an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful so it was nice to see that everyone was still bold and still beautiful.

California Dreams (DVD)

Megan and I watched a few episodes of California Dreams throughout the week. Megan agreed that I basically am like the red-headed version of Lorena Costa.

Days of Our Lives (Weekdays, Peacock)

Days of our Lives is on Peacock now. Just as with The Bold and the Beautiful, it had been a while since I watched this show. I watched several episodes this week but I’d be lying if I said I paid too much attention. That said, the show was a nice distraction for when I was feeling ill.

Dr. Death (Peacock)

My sister Megan and I binged the second season of this show on Monday and Tuesday. It was an interesting story, even if it wasn’t quite as strong as the first season. I love Mandy Moore but she was a bit miscast as a tough New York journalist.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched a few episodes of Dr. Phil this week but I mostly just used them for background noise. I did make sure to pay attention to the episodes about the girl who was convinced that she was pregnant with Jesus.

The Garden: Commune or Cult? (Max)

Megan and I binged this show on Wednesday night. Personally, I think The Garden is more of a commune than a cult but mostly it’s just a place full of really annoying people. Living off the grid has some appeal when it comes to not paying taxes but I’m just not a fan of living off the land. I guess my ideal living situation would be to live in the city but not have to pay for anything.

General Hospital (Weekday Afternoons, ABC)

It kind of bothers me that this show has scenes that take place outside of the hospital.

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about the final episode of Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Murder In Boston: Roots, Rampage, and Reckoning (Max)

Megan and I watched this last night. This three-part docudrama dealt with a murder that occurred in Boston in the 80s. The same story served as the basis for a movie that I reviewed back in October. It’s an interesting story, though the docuseries was more interested in the cultural context of the crime than the crime itself.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

I watched an episode on Friday about 80s cover tunes.

The Office (Sunday Morning, Comedy Central)

I watched two Christmas episodes on Sunday. One was the Benihana Christmas episode from the Steve Carell years. The other episode was from the post-Carell era. The differences in quality were dramatic. That show really went downhill after Steve Carell left.

Saved By The Bell (DVD)

Megan and I watched a few episodes of Saved By The Bell over the week. We hit all the classics, No Hope With Dope, the episodes where Kelly dumped Zach for Jeff, the episode where Jessie got hooked on caffeine pills, and the rockumentary.

The Simpsons (Monday Morning, TBS)

I watched two Christmas episodes on Monday. Fortunately, they both featured Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob because both of them would have been pretty dire without his ability to turn even the lamest of lines into comedic gold. One episode featured Bart getting lost in an underground missile silo. The other featured Bob taking a job as a Santa’s Village Santa and helping to expose Mr. Burns as the person who stealing the town’s Christmas presents. Both episodes were oddly mean-spirited at times, as if the show’s writers were trying to impress the Family Guy crowd.

T and T (Tubi)

Next week, I’ll be reviewing the episode that I watched this week.

Twilight Zone (SyFy)

Today, I’ve enjoyed several episodes of SyFy’s annual New Year’s Twilight Zone marathon. This is one of those traditions that I hope never goes away.

The Young and the Restless (Weekday afternoons, NBC)

I’m happy to say that everyone is still restless, even if they’re not quite young.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/17/23 — 12/23/23

Posted on December 23, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s been a busy week. I haven’t even had a chance to watch the finale of Survivor yet! But that’s okay. My mind is on the holidays right now.

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here! I’m really enjoying this extremely silly show.

The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas (YouTube)

This cute animated Christmas special from 1973 followed the adventures of a bear who decided not to hibernate for the winter because he wanted to experience Christmas firsthand. All of the other bears thought he was crazy. I was proud of him for following his dreams.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (Apple TV+)

I watched this on Friday evening. It’s one of my favorite Christmas traditions, from poor Charlie Brown’s attempts to direct the play to Snoopy’s impersonations. A few years ago, my sister wrote about this special.

Check It Out! (Tubi)

This week’s episode was a strange one. My review will drop in another 30 minutes or so.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here! Wow, Ponch really is a terrible cop, isn’t he?

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High and the start of season 2 here.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I’m happy to say that Fantasy Island has been re-uploaded to YouTube so now I basically have to binge as many episodes as possible before they get yanked down again. Otherwise, I’ll have to use that terrible Daily Motion site to watch the show. Anyway, I wrote about this week’s episode here.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about this week’s David Cronenberg-directed episode here!

Frosty The Snowman (DVR)

I recorded this classic Christmas special when CBS aired it on Saturday and then I watched it on Sunday. It always upsets me when Frosty melts. I think that’s because I live in Texas, where it hardly ever snows. So, when a snowman melts down here, it’s totally possible that he will never be able to return.

Frosty Returns (DVR)

Frosty’s back and he sounds a lot like John Goodman! I recorded this the same night that I recorded Frosty the Snowman. Frosty Returns is not quite as charming as the first special, as the environmental message is so heavy-handed that it almost feels like a parody. Still, I like snow and I like snowmen. Come back, Frosty!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

By wonderful coincidence, this week’s episode of Highway to Heaven was a Christmas episode! I reviewed it here.

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

My review can be found here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

This week’s episode was really good. I wrote about it here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I reviewed Monsters here!

The Murder of Jill Dando (Netflix)

This three-part true crime series took a look at the still unsolved murder of a famous and influential British journalist and television host. It was an intriguing series, full of twists and turns and questions to which we may never get an answer.

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (DVR)

This special is undoubtedly a classic but it always bothers me to see what a jerk Santa is.

Seinfeld (Netflix)

Earlier today, I watched the Festivus episode and the episode where Kramer becomes a department store Santa Claus and is accused of being a communist. “Hey, this guy’s a commie! He’s spreading propaganda!”

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.10 “Conspiracy”

Posted on December 22, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, T.S. goes up against his scariest opponent yet!

Episode 2.10 “Conspiracy”

(Dir by Robert Malenfant, originally aired on December 5th, 1988)

Two pre-teens, Paul (Michael Fantini) and Colby (Alan Fawcett), come across a million dollars hidden away in an apparently deserted warehouse. In slow motion, Paul throw the money into the air and declares that he and Colby are rich. Of course, Paul doesn’t stop to consider that the money is probably linked to something illegal and that it’s dangerous for him and his best friend to take it.

Soon, Paul and Colby are spending money all over the place. They buy new clothes. They buy new bicycles. Local store owner Bud (Charles Woods Gray) is concerned about the amount of money that Paul and Colby suddenly seem to have. He meets with his old friend, T.S. Turner, and asks Turner to talk to the boys.

Paul and Colby meet with Turner at Decker’s gym and Paul lies and says that the money came from his grandmother. He also says that he loaned Colby the money for Colby’s new bike. After the boys leave, Turner says that he knows that there is more to the story and that he’s going to investigate on his own. Turner invites Joe to investigate with him. It’s good to see that the show’s writers finally remembered that Turner and Amy basically adopted Joe at the start of the second season.

Turner is not the only one investigating. The counterfeiter who created the money wants to know who stole it. Birken (Martin Neufeld) may drive a car with a personalized license plate that reads “Rainbow” but he’s still a scary dude. He’s so dangerous that he doesn’t even wear a shirt half the time! No one is going to tell Birken what to do.

Eventually, Birken kidnaps Paul and ties him to a chair and threatens to suffocate him if he doesn’t help Birken get back his money. That leads to this rather disturbing sight:

The villains on T and T are usually fairly generic and forgettable but Birken is probably the scariest man in Canada. He’s certainly the first villain on this show to be just as intimidating at Mr. T. As soon as Birken shows up, the viewer has no doubt that he’s willing to kill anyone to get back his money. For once, the stakes on this show feels real.

Or, at least, they feel real until T.S. Turner shows up at Birken’s loft. (This is yet another episode where T.S. somehow manages to sneak into a building without being noticed.) When he confronts Birken, Birken attemps to show off his karate moves but T.S. takes him down with one punch.

It’s a bit of an anti-climatic ending, which is a shame because this was actually, by the standards of T and T, a pretty good episode. Birken was both memorable eccentric and genuinely menacing. Still, he was no match for T.S. Turner. No one stops Mr. T.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/10/23 — 12/16/23

Posted on December 16, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s the holidays and, as a result, I haven’t had much time to watch television this week. In fact, outside of the stuff that I watch for my Retro Television Reviews, I only watched three shows this week.

All In The Family (YouTube)

On Friday night, my friend Pat suggested checking out the 1976 Christmas episode of All In the Family, in which a draft-dodging friend of Mike’s visits from Canada. He shows up at the Bunker household, right on Christmas day! At the same time, a friend of the Archie Bunker’s is visiting. Pinky lost his son in Vietnam.

Now, really, the whole conflict in this episode could have been avoided if the draft dodger had just kept his mouth shut when Archie started asking him what was so great about living in Canada. But the dodger felt that he had to reveal the truth about why he went up north. Archie wanted to kick him out but Pinky was understanding and forgiving.

This was a well-acted episode with a powerful message but I do have to admit that I could kind of see Archie’s point. It’s his house! He’s the one who paid for the Christmas dinner that they’re all eating. If he doesn’t want to have a draft dodger sitting at the table in his house and eating the food that he paid for, that’s actually Archie’s right. Still, I’m glad that Archie didn’t kick the draft dodger out because the guy actually was reasonably polite and everyone should have some place to go on Christmas.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out should be dropping in about 30 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Why would anyone agree to hold a charity event at Hell’s Kitchen? That’s what I found myself wondering as I watched the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen on Thursday. Surely, they’ve seen enough episodes of this show to know that they’re going to be running the risk of getting raw chicken and rubbery scallops.

Anyway, I was sad to see Donya go. I think the only reason Ramsay is keeping Jason around is for the drama. Go Ryan!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (Tuesday Night, ABC)

It’s the holidays so, naturally, I had to watch this classic. The old Christmas specials have never really been topped, despite Disney’s best efforts.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!