Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard! We’re expecting you….

Episode 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 15th, 1983)

First off, before I do anything else, I want to thank Case for covering the last three episodes of The Love Boat for me. The previous month was not an easy one for me or my family and having Case, Brad, and Jeff helping me out with my television reviews really helped out. Thanks, guys. You all did a wonderful job!

As far as this episode goes, I know there’s one question that is on everyone’s mind:

Julie appeared to be moderately coked-up in this episode, though not as much as usual. I’d say on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale, this episode was right in the middle. Five out of ten.

Julie actually had a bit to do during this episode. Captain Donahue (McLean Stevenson) was on the ship, technically so that he could watch and learn from Captain Stubing. Gopher, however, suspected that Donahue was planning on replacing Stubing as the captain of the Pacific Princess. Gopher, Julie, Doc, Isaac, and Vicki all decided to pretend to be crazy in order to convince Donahue to stay away from the Pacific Princess. Julie, for instance, started to obsessively practice her “welcome aboard” greeting. I’m not sure what was so crazy about that. As far as I can tell, Julie’s entire job consists of greeting people when they board the ship. It seems like it would be a good idea to get some practice in. Still, Donahue is freaked out enough that he backs off from trying to steal Stubing’s position. Captain Stubing is relieved and so is the rest of the crew. Maybe they came across an episode of Hello, Larry and realized what was in store for them if McLean Stevenson became the new captain.

Julie also served as an advisor to Mary Frances Bellflower (Shelley Fabares), who boarded the ship with two suitors. Ben Phillips (Frank Bonner) and Henry Greg (Arte Johnson) spent the cruise bickering over who would make the best husband for Mary Frances. Mary Frances assumed that the two men only cared about her because she was rich and she owned a valuable foxhound. However, by the end of the cruise, Mary Frances realized that both of the men sincerely loved her. She promised Julie that she would return to the ship in the future with the man she had chosen. Julia, her nose red, suggested that Mary Frances give bigamy a try. Everyone had a good laugh.

Finally, Doc arranged for his old friend, Erica Dupont (Jenilee Harrison), to get a job serving drinks on the cruise. Erica, the daughter of an autoworker, needed the job so that she could help pay for her wedding to Robert Wallingford (Stephen Shortridge). Erica confessed that Robert and his parents both thought she was rich because her last name was Dupont. Erica immediately got to work serving drinks but — oh no! — Robert’s snooty parents (William Windom and Jane Wyatt) just happened to be on the cruise! Erica tried to avoid them but eventually, they saw Erica sharing a friendly dance with Doc and they got the wrong idea. They called Robert, who flew down to Mexico to meet the boat. Erica finally confessed that, while her last name was Dupont, that did not make her a Du Pont. The Wallingfords were disappointed to learn that Erica was not related to future murderer John du Pont. Still, Robert forgave Erica and I guess they got married after the cruise. Who knows? I would think that starting an engagement with a lie would be a problem for most people but whatever.

This cruise was mildly enjoyable. Jenilee Harrison and Bernie Kopell had a likable chemistry and it was hard not to feel that Erica should have just dumped Robert and declared her love for Doc. As for everyone acting crazy to fool McLean Stevenson, you could tell that the regulars were having fun. The storyline about Mary Frances and her two suitors was fairly weak but the other two stories made up for it.

I’m glad that I came aboard.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 4.23 “The Bread Winners”

Posted on April 12, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, we finally finish this show up.

Episode 4.23 “The Bread Winners”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on June 8th, 1979)

Epstein is excited about getting a job working at an antique store. However, a chance meeting with the store’s owner leads to Freddie getting the job instead. Epstein gets upset and, after a tense confrontation at the Horshack residence, Epstein challenges Washington to a boxing match at the local gym. However, once at the gym, Epstein and Washington realize that they’re friends. They care about each other. They’re not going to let a little thing like a job come between them. The owner of the gym is so moved that he gives Epstein a job.

And so ends Welcome Back, Kotter. After 95 episodes, Kotter ends not with a bang but with a definite whimper. We don’t even see the Sweathogs defy the odds by finally graduating. It’s an underwhelming finale but apparently, it was made when there was still the possibility of a Kotter spin-off, which would have focused on Horshack and his marriage to Mary. This episode also sets up the possibility of a show featuring Washington working at the antique store or even Epstein working at the gym. (Henry Beckman plays the owner of the gym while Priscilla Morrill plays the owner of the antique store and both of them get a lot more dialogue and character-building moments than the guest stars typically got on Kotter.)

On the plus side, the show did manage to get nearly the entire cast to show up for the finale. Barbarino is absent, of course. But Gabe Kaplan makes one of his rare appearances, giving Washington some advice on how to make up with Epstein. Julie shows up at the beginning of the show but, noticeably, Marcia Strassman doesn’t share any scenes with Kaplan. John Sylvester White, as Woodman, gets to do his crazed laugh one last time. Beau gets a few lines of dialogue. We get a peek at Horshack’s homelife with Mary and even Epstein’s girlfriend, Kelly, shows up for a few scenes.

Again, this was an underwhelming finale but that makes sense when one considers that season 4 was an underwhelming season. Looking over this show, the first two seasons were the best. During those seasons, the show had a bit of an edge and the actors really seemed to be trying to ground their outlandish characters in at least a hint of reality. The third season saw the show turn into a living cartoon and Kotter never really recovered. By the fourth season, the actors cast as the Sweathogs were too old to still be playing high school students, Kaplan was refusing to appear on the show that was based on his stand-up act, and way too much time was wasted on Julie getting upset and glaring at people.

Well, we’re done with Welcome Back, Kotter. Next week, a new show will premiere in this time slot. It’s been a while since I started a new show so I’m looking forward to finding one that will be a slight change of pace. What will the show be? Check here next Saturday to find out!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.22 “I’m Okay, But You’re Not”

Posted on April 5, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

We’re nearly done.

Episode 4.22 “I’m Okay, But You’re Not”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on June 1st, 1979)

The next-to-last episode of Welcome Back, Kotter centers on Beau, the Southern transfer who was introduced as a replacement for Barbarino. This is only the second episode to focus on Beau and it aired right as the show was about to end. Judging from some of the comments made in the episode and the fact that no mentions that Horshack is now married, I’m going to guess that this episode was probably originally meant to air earlier in the season.

Anyway, the Sweathogs read their student evaluations when Julie, for some reason, leaves Arnold in charge of the office while she goes to another classroom to get a skirt that’s been hemmed for her by the Home Economics teacher. Why Julie couldn’t have just gotten the skirt after the students had left for the day isn’t really clear. The Sweathogs are not happy to discover that Woodman hates all of them except for Beau. Beau, looking to prove that he’s not Woodman’s favorite, steals Woodman’s pants (Woodman is asleep at his desk) and runs them up a flagpole. He also rings the fire alarm. Woodman is forced to put on Julie’s skirt before leaving his office.

(What about Gabe? Gabe is nowhere to be seen. Gabe became assistant principal and then stopped hanging out at the school.)

Beau confesses that he was behind the prank. Woodman says that it’s honorable for Beau to take the blame but he knows that Epstein, Washington, and Horshack are to blame. Woodman gives the three “bad” Sweathogs detention. There’s something inherently weird about watching three actors in their 30s complain about getting detention. So, Beau again says that he was solely responsible and then insults Woodman until Woodman snaps, gives Beau three weeks detention, and promises that he’ll be keeping on eye on everything Beau does.

Good luck with that, Woodman. The show’s nearly over!

Poor Stephen Shortridge. He wasn’t a bad actor but the character of Beau was never that clearly defined and, even worse, Shortridge was brought in to replace Travolta’s Barbarino. The show never figured out what to do with Beau and he ended up as something of a footnote in the show’s history.

This episode was just dumb. It’s the type of episode that the show did well when it first started, back when the Sweathogs were still plausible as being high school students and when Travolta and Gabe Kaplan were still willing to appear on the show. But, by the time the fourth season rolled around, the cast was too old to be playing high school pranks and neither Barbarino nor Gabe were around anymore.

Next week, the show finally ends!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter, 4.21 “Ooh Ooh, I Do: Part Two”

Posted on March 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wedding bells are ringing!

Episode 4.21 “Ooh Ooh, I Do: Part Two”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on May 25th, 1979)

Horshack’s getting married!

For some reason, the Sweathogs throw him a bachelor party in Barbarino’s trashy apartment. Barbarino isn’t there. I assume he’s at work or maybe he finally moved back in with his family after realizing just how ugly and depressing his apartment was. Seriously, I will never understand why a show would try to get viewers invested in such an ugly location.

Anyway, the bachelor party is a bust. Epstein dresses up in drag and dances for Horshack. The Sweathogs love it. Horshack loves it. But then the Sweathogs make a joke about how Horshack and Mary Johnson are going to be so poor that Mary is going to have to get a job washing bricks to support them. Horshack realizes that they’re right. He’s getting married in high school and he has absolutely zero marketable skills. In fact, he’s such a weirdo that most people go out of their way to avoid him. How is he going to support Mary?

Horshask freaks out and runs away. After Mary shows them the note that Horshack left, in which he said that he was running away to become the type of man who could support her, the Sweathogs search all over Brooklyn for him. Epstein goes to a Marine recruiting station. Washington and Beau …. eh, I watched this show like 20 minutes ago and I’ve already forgotten what they did. That’s how well-written this episode was. Mary, however, knows that Horshack’s favorite movie is Wuthering Heights so she finds him at the local move theater.

They get married! The ceremony is small and pathetic. I don’t think a single member of Horshack’s family showed up. Gabe does show up and, when the Sweathogs realize that Horshack needs a ring to give Mary, Gabe gives up his own wedding ring. Julie approves. They’re probably going to get divorced as soon as the show ends.

Gabe, who is usually portrayed as being very concerned with the future of his students, is totally cool with Horshack getting married while still a high school student. At no point does he suggest that Horshack might be rushing into things or that a stunted manchild who can’t get a job might not be a good husband. This was one of Kaplan’s rare appearance during the final season of the show but he doesn’t act much like the Mr. Kotter that we got to know over the previous three seasons. It’s kind of like when Steve Carell came back for The Office finale and only said one line. It just doesn’t feel right.

Apparently, this episode was meant to a backdoor pilot for a series that would have focused on Horshack and Mary. I can’t imagine that working, though I would say that Mary and Horshack do look cute together at the end of the episode.

Speaking of endings, there are only two more episodes left! Will the Sweathogs finally graduate? We’ll find out!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 4.20 “Oo-Oo I Do! Part One”

Posted on March 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Horshack makes a decision about his future.

Episode 4.20 “Oo-Oo I Do! Part One”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on May 25th, 1979)

Horshack is shocked to suddenly realize that he has a girlfriend. To be honest, I think everyone’s a little shocked. Horshack doesn’t exactly come across like someone that anyone would want to have a romantic relationship with. He’s not particularly handsome, he’s got that terrible voice, he’s got those weird personal habits, and he’s like 50 years old and still in high school.

Still, when Horshack learns that he’s going to be transferred to another school because his mother married a blackjack dealer in Atlantic City, Horshack asks Mary Johnson to marry him. And Mary says yes.

NO, MARY! RUN, MARY, RUN!

So, let’s just consider this. One reason why Gabe Kaplan refused to appear in much of season four is because the show’s producers refused to consider his suggestions that the Sweathogs should graduate high school and move on to City College. But the producers were totally willing to have Horshack get married while in high school. Sure, that makes sense. Admittedly, people do get married in high school but few of them would marry Arnold Horshack. Plus, most high school marriages — at least in my experience — involve an unexpected pregnancy and it’s hard to view Horshack as being anything other than asexual. He’s just too weird a character for a episode dealing with real things, like love and marriage. I could buy Epstein getting married. I could buy Washington getting married. Beau …. sure, I could buy that. What would have been really cool would have been if one of Travolta’s episodes had featured him getting married. Even better would have been an episode where Gabe and Julie got divorced. Seriously, it would have made more sense than someone voluntarily saying, “I want to spend the rest of my life with the school weirdo.”

This is the first part of a two-part episode. If I’m not saying much about this episode it’s because this episode was 75% Horshack and Horshack annoys the heck out of me. When the show began, he was weird but he wasn’t quite as cartoonish as he became in the third and fourth seasons. This whole marriage two-parter was apparently a backdoor pilot for a show about Horshack adjusting to married life. Seriously, out of all the Sweathog, that’s the one they wanted to spin-off?

(What’s annoying is that occasionally –– like in this episode where Horshack was drinking — Ron Palillo would get a chance to show that he actually wasn’t a terrible actor but the show’s writers usually did him absolutely no favors.)

This episode really showed how far the show had fallen. Horshack is getting transferred to a new school and Gabe is nowhere to be seen. Horshack is getting married and again, Gabe is nowhere to be seen. It’s Welcome Back, Horshack now and the Sweathogs are truly doomed.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.19 “The Gang Show”

Posted on March 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Gabe and Julie are gone but life continues at Buchanan High.

Episode 4.19 “The Gang Show”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on March 17th, 1979)

It’s time for the annual Buchanan High talent show and this year, Epstein and Washington are totally convinced that their lame mid-reading act is going to win. They’ve lost every year that they’ve entered and, considering that both Epstein and Washington appears to be pushing 40, that’s a lot of failure! Horshack and Beau talk about how their friends came in dead last during the previous show. How does Beau know? Beau’s the new kid. Beau was in Louisiana or wherever he’s supposed to be from when the last talent show was held.

Epstein and Washington think that they’ve got this contest in the bag. The judges are Horshack, Beau, and their classmate, Wilbur (Bob Harcum). Their dedicated teacher, Jean Tremaine (Della Reese), is a bit concerned that the judges won’t be mature enough to set aside their friendships and truly honor the best act. Maybe Mr. Kotter should talk to them….

Oh wait, Gabe isn’t in this episode.

Maybe Julie needs to cross her arms and tell the judges, “This is not funny….”

Oh wait, Julie’s not here either.

That’s right, this is another Welcome Back Kotter episode that doesn’t feature or even mention a single Kotter. Woodman is there, making odd comments and carrying two hardboiled eggs. (Woodman’s so cool.) But the Kotters are gone and, for some reason, everyone’s acting like Ms. Treamaine has always been their teacher.

As for the talent show, Epstein and Washington’s act sucks. Far more impressive is Carvelli (Charles Fleischer), who sings a blues song about peanut butter and jelly and show that there’s more to him than just being a bully. Remember when Carvelli and Wilbur first appeared on the show and they were members of a rival gang and the implication was that both Carvelli and Wilbur had killed multiple people? Now, suddenly, Carvelli is the king of the talent show and Wilbur is one of the judges. It’s amazing how things change. All they really had to do was get rid of Julie and suddenly, Carvelli is revealing himself to be a sensitive soul.

Horshack and Beau do the right thing. They vote for Carvelli. Wilbur votes for Washington and Epstein because he genuinely liked their dumb act. Apparently, there were no other acts. What a lame talent show! Tremiane is proud of Horshack and Beau for doing the right thing. She encourages Washington and Epstein to try again next year …. NEXT YEAR!? Epstein’s going gray and Washington has laugh lines. If they’re still in school next year, Buchanan needs to be shut down!

This was a weird episode. I used to make fun of Gabe’s corny jokes but they would have been useful in this episode. Seriously, this whole fourth season just feels wrong. Kotter without Kotter just doesn’t work.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.18 “The Sweat Smell of Success”

Posted on February 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Buchanan High is in chaos! Only one man can save the day but he’s not around anymore.

Episode 4.18 “The Sweat Smell of Success”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on March 3rd, 1979)

Where is Mr. Kotter!?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know why Gabe Kaplan was hardly ever on the show during the fourth season. He was annoyed that the network refused to allow the Sweathogs to graduate from Buchanan High, despite the fact that the actors playing the Sweathogs were all in their late 20s and early 30s. He was not happy about working with Marcia Strassman. And he was shooting a movie for a good deal of the fourth season. Kaplan felt that he moved on from the series and as such, he allowed his character to become vice principal and kept his appearances on the show to a minimum,

But, in the narrative of the show, where is Mr. Kotter? Usually, someone will mention that he’s out of town or busy with school business. In this episode, he isn’t even mentioned. It’s kind of disturbing how he’s vanished and no one seems to care. The Sweathogs need his guidance and this episode, as dumb as it was, features a plot that feels like it would have been perfect for Mr. Kotter’s corny jokes and gentle mentoring. Even more importantly …. who is the song welcoming back? Kotter’s gone! He’s not around to be welcomed back!

As for this week’s episodes, it appears that the show’s writers finally remembered that, at the start of the season, each of the Sweathogs was assigned a job around the school. Freddie and Horshack run the school store. Meanwhile, Epstein is in charge of the audio visual department. But he sucks at his job so Woodman reassigns him to the school paper. Horshack’s girlfriend, Mary Johnson, edits and writes the paper and is very earnest in her efforts to make the paper something worth reading. That’s quite a chance from the Mary who tried to kill herself just a few episodes ago.

Anyway, Epstein turns the paper into a tabloid. He suggests that Julie is having an affair with Woodman. (“She’s not my type!” Woodman declares, “Too tall!”) He writes about Freddie Washington wore diapers until he was six months old. Epstein describes Horshack as being a diva. Epstein says that Beau is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. He says….

WAIT! WHAT!?

Okay, one of these stories is far worse than the others. Washington did wear diapers when he was a baby and Horshack is a diva and Julie probably is cheating on Gabe. But Beau is a member of the Klan? Where did this come from? “I’m going to need a police escort to go home tonight,” Beau says while the audience laughs.

Seriously, don’t just toss around Klan accusations, folks. It’s just common sense.

Anyway, Epstein’s friends get mad at him so Epstein quits the paper after publishing an expose of himself on the front page. He returns to the audio visual department. He still sucks at his job and I guess Mary is back to having to write, edit, and publish the entire newspaper by herself. Is this a happy ending?

Well, at least Beau didn’t get killed.

Next week, it’s time for the school talent show! Wow, Mr. Kotter would have loved that. RIP.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.17 “Come Back, Little Arnold”

Posted on February 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Horshack’s not going to take it anymore.

Episode 4.17 “Come Back, Little Arnold”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on February 24th, 1979)

Arnold Horshack’s a drunk!

Well, not quite. He’s not an alcoholic. He does buy a bottle of cheap whiskey from Carvelli because he has a date coming up with Mary (Irene Arranga) and he’s nervous about it. To the shock of everyone, Horshack gets mean when he drinks. He calls the other Sweathogs out for always making fun of him. He tells his teachers to leave him alone. He throws all the money from the school store out into the hallway. He starts wearing a leather jacket. Horshack is out of control!

It’s a good thing that Vinnie is around to serve as a mentor…. oh wait, Travolta became a movie star and Vinnie Barbarino is no longer on the show.

It’s a good thing that Gabe has a good relationship with Arnold Horshack and …. oh wait, Gabe Kaplan was angry with the show’s producers and only appeared in a handful of episodes this season. And this is not one of those episodes!

Maybe Julie could …. Marcia Strassman isn’t in this episode either!

Mr. Woodman could …. oh, who are we kidding? Woodman doesn’t care.

Instead, it falls to Jean Tremaine (Della Reese) to gather all the Sweathogs together and let them know that Horshack needs help. Jean Who? Well, apparently, Ms. Tremaine has been around for a while and she’s as much of a mentor to the Sweathogs as Gabe ever was! Oddly, we’ve never heard about or seen Ms. Tremaine before. In fact, I thought the whole idea of the Sweathogs was that they weren’t allowed to attend regular classes, like the one taught by Ms. Tremaine.

It’s easy to see what happened here. With Gabe Kaplan determined to leave and Marcia Strassman also tiring of the show, the show’s producers were trying to figure out how to continue Welcome Back Kotter without any Kotters. With this episode, we saw one possible way to keep the show going. Della Reese would be the new teacher and hopefully, she would have eventually gotten some new students. It was time to let the Sweathogs graduate. As I watched this episode, I noticed that Ron Palillo, the actor who played Horshack, actually had gray in his hair.

Surprisingly enough, this was actually a pretty good episode. After spending the past two seasons playing Horshack as just being a weirdo with a strange voice, Ron Palillo finally got another chance to play the angry, misadjusted Horshack who we first met during the show’s first season. Palillo really got into the scenes where Horshack told off the Sweathogs, dropping the funny voice and delivering his lines with authentic anger. Watching the episode, it’s hard not to get the feeling that Palillo was acting out some of his own frustrations in this episode. It can’t be easy to play Arnold Horshack day-after-day.

And you know what? As clumsily as she was introduced, Della Reese did a good job as Ms. Temaine. The idea of her as the new regular teacher was not a crazy one, though it was one that was probably suggested too late to save the show.

This was a good episode. I’m as surprised as anyone.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.4 “The Angel’s Triangle/Natchez Bound”

Posted on February 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, an angel comes to the Island.

Episode 6.4 “The Angel’s Triangle/Natchez Bound”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on November 6th, 1982)

Death takes a holiday!

Well, not literally. The Angel of Death, Michael Eden (played by Gary Collins), does come to Fantasy Island but he’s working. Years ago, he was meant to take soul of Catharine Harris (Carol Lynley), a woman who was in a car accident with her husband, Brent Harris (Doug McClure). Michael could not bring himself to allow Catharine to die. So, she miraculously survived. But now, years later, Michael has been sent to collect the soul of Brent. Brent and Catharine have come to Fantasy Island to have the honeymoon they missed out on due to the car accident. Michael has come to make sure that the honeymoon is a tragic one.

Michael very much wants to take Brent’s soul. If Brent’s dead than maybe Michael and Catharine could (somehow) be together. But when Brent is taken ill and sent to the Fantasy Island hospital, Michael sees how much Catharine loves her husband. And he allow Brent to live, which seems a bit unfair to …. well, like anyone. Or at the very least, anyone who has ever died or lost a loved one.

The interesting thing about this fantasy was that it established that Roarke is apparently not an angel. When Roarke introduces Tattoo to Michael, Roarke says that Michael “is not like us.” This leads to a funny moment in which Tattoo, upon hearing that Michael is the angel of death, announces that he some work to catch up on. I always like it when Tattoo gets to do more than just wave at the airplane. As for the rest of this fantasy, it wasn’t bad. Carol Lynley did a good job as Catharine. Gary Collins was a bit stiff but it kind of worked for his character. Doug McClure was as goofy as ever.

The other fantasy features Jennilee Harrison as Jenny Ryan, a Vegas card dealer who wants to work on a Mississippi steamboat. She gets her wish and promptly gets involved with helping a writer named Samuel Clemens (Stephen Shortridge, a.k.a. Beau on Welcome Back Kotter) and a kid named Huck Finn (Adam Rich) hide an escaped slave (Sam Scarber) from a dastardly gambler and slave hunter (Roddy McDowall). Did I mention that Clemens is having trouble coming up with a plot for his new book? Jenny inspires Mark Twain, helps Jim get to safety, and returns to the present with a pet frog. Sure, why not? This storyline was predictable, largely because I read Huckleberry Finn in high school. However, Stephen Shortridge was, somewhat surprisingly given his work on Kotter, perfectly charming as Mark Twain and Roddy McDowall obviously enjoyed hamming up his villainy. (To be honest, when I saw Roddy’s name in the opening credits, I was hoping he’d be returning as Satan.)

This was not a bad episode, especially compared to the previous season 6 episodes. Both fantasies held me attention and apparently, the Angel of Death will leave you alone if he thinks you’re cute. That’s good to know!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.16 “The Goodbye Guy”

Posted on February 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Epstein gets a story of his very own.

Episode 4.16 “The Goodbye Guy”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on February 1oth, 1979)

Barbarino is gone. Gabe is gone. It’s Epstein’s turn to step up and become the center of the show.

Epstein is upset because he has wrestling tickets but the other Sweathogs all have dates for the evening, For some reason, Epstein decides to go the Kotter apartment even though Gabe is — *ahem* — out of town. Was Epstein planning on asking Julie to go see a wrestling match with him? We’ll never know because Julie is not at the apartment. She’s at the faculty dance with Mr. Woodman.

Mr. Woodman’s niece, Kelly (Georganne LaPiere), is at the apartment, babysitting the rarely-seen Kotter twins. (I was actually starting to think that Gabe might have abducted the twins and moved to Long Island with them, it’s been so long since we’ve seen or heard from any of them.) Kelly is a college student but she looks considerably younger than Epstein, who is supposedly just a high school senior. That said, it’s love at first sight between Kelly and Epstein. Mr. Woodman’s not happy about that and orders Kelly to stay away from the Sweathog. So, of course, Kelly moves in with Epstein.

It’s as culture clash, of course. Kelly is smart and sophisticated. Epstein has been in high school for ten years and says that his dream is to own a fleet of dump trucks. After Kelly laughs at his dream and Epstein makes a scene at a vegetarian restaurant, it looks like their love might be doomed!

Well, that happens when you move in with someone after knowing them for two hours….

“I’m going to miss you, Fido,” Epstein says after they have one final conversation in the high school courtyard. The audience says “Awwwww!” but I think Kelly made the right decision to walk way because Epstein is never going to graduate high school. The show’s producers obviously intended to keep the Sweathogs in that school forever. Add to that, how can you love a guy who nicknames you after a dog?

Speaking of nicknames, why does Epstein tolerate being called “Little Juan” by Horshack? When this show began, Epstein was the most dangerous and unstable of the Sweathogs. He was the one who was voted most likely to take a life. I remember at least a few episodes where he brought a knife to school. Epstein was always on the verge of exploding, which made his character an interesting one. If Kotter could reach Epstein, he could reach anyone. But now, Epstein is just as bland and well-behaved as everyone else in the show. It’s a shame.

Oh well. At least Woodman was happy by the end of this episode.

We’re nearly done with this show! Only a few more episodes to go. Will Gabe ever return? We’ll find out.