Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.18 “Equinox”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, Peter White returns to the hospital.

Episode 2.18 “Equinox”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on March 14th, 1984)

A college student (Thomas Byrd) comes in after taking a hit to the groin during a touch football game.  It turns out that he might have testicular cancer and it falls to Dr. Cavanero to let him know that he will soon be down a ball.

Dr. Chandler is upset when his new girlfriend prefers to hang out with Luther.  Chandler accuses Luther of “shuckin’ and jivin’.”  Chandler’s girlfriend dumps him for being “mean.”  In a well-acted scene, Chandler talks to Morrison about how he’s expected to act one way as a black man and another way as a black doctor.

Fiscus makes the mistake of giving Elliott Axlerod (Stephen Furst) his lucky baseball cap.  Axelrod spills a urine sample on it and then accidentally sets the hat on fire while attempting to dry it.  Axlerod is having a terrible day until a man dressed like Paul Revere brings his horse into the ER for treatment.  It turns out that Axlerod’s father was veterinarian.  Axlerod cures the horse but he still has to get Fiscus a new hat.

Finally, Dr. White returns.  His charges have been reduced from attempted rape to assault.  Wendy Armstrong is not happy and starts to binge eat.  (And yet, as several nurses point out, she doesn’t gain a pound.  We all know what that means….)  When Kathy Martin sees Peter in the cafeteria, she yells that he raped her.  “You’re crazy,” Peter lies.

The episode ends with Dr. Chandler going for a run outside, stopping, and screaming into the air.

This episode was a bit uneven.  The Axlerod story worked because of the likability of Stephen Furst and not because the story itself was particularly clever.  The Philip Chandler/Jack Morrison conversation was the highlight of the episode, though the ending with Chandler screaming into the void was a bit overdone.

As for Dr. White, I’ve reached the point where I can’t even stand to look at him and I feel foolish for having any sympathy for him earlier in the season.  Hopefully, this season will end with Dr. White going to prison for life because I’m not sure how many more episodes I can handle of him wandering around the hospital with that smug look on his face.

Seriously, St. Elsewhere, take care of this guy soon….

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.17 “Vanity”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week’s episode was available on neither Hulu nor Prime.  I had to watch a really terrible upload that I found on Daily Motion.  Bleh.

Episode 2.17 “Vanity”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on March 7th, 1984)

I was relieved to see that this episode featured Kathy Martin returning to the hospital.  I was seriously worried that Peter White had killed her.  With Peter in jail for attacking Wendy Armstrong, Kathy doesn’t tell anyone that Peter raped her.  From the minute we first see her, it’s clear that Kathy is suffering from severe PTSD.  As a character, Kathy Martin was not always treated well by this show.  During the first season, she was often portrayed as being a caricature, the quirky pathologist who liked to have sex in strange places.  This episode finally allowed Kathy to emerge as a fully-developed character and Barbara Whinnery gave a strong performance in the role.

Peter is in jail.  Despite Wendy’s anger, Dr. Morrison regularly visits him.  Morrison says that Peter is obviously sick and needs help but, at the same time, he hasn’t accepted that Peter is also the Ski Mask Rapist.  (Peter wasn’t wearing his mask when he attacked Wendy.)  As for Peter, he continues to feel sorry for himself.

Dr. Craig is upset when he receives a cop of the documentary about him and he discovers that he comes across like an arrogant martinet.  Dr. Craig threatens to sue the director (played, again, by Michael Richards) though one gets the feeling that Craig is mainly angry because he knows the documentary is true.

Nurse Rosenthal gets reconstructive breast surgery.  Joseph, the construction worker who has been having attacks of blindness, is successfully operated on.  Sometimes, things work out well at the hospital.  Not often, but sometimes.

Finally. Mr. Entertainment (Austin Pendleton) returns, singing to patients and upsetting his supervisor.  (Mr. Entertainment now works as a janitor at the hospital.)  To be honest, the majority of this episode was devoted to Mr. Entertainment and it was a bit too much.  Austin Pendleton is a good actor but Mr. Entertainment is such a cartoonish character that I mentally checked out of his story.

This was an odd episode.  There was a lot to work but it was almost all overshadowed by Mr. Entertainment.  Sometimes, you can tell a writer has fallen so in love with a minor character that they’ve forgotten about what the audience is actually interested in.  The episode felt like an example of that.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.16 “After Dark”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, it’s time to name the Doctor of the Year!

Episode 2.16 “After Dark”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on February 29th, 1984)

It’s time for the annual end-of-the-year dinner, during which the Women’s Auxiliary will announce their pick for Doctor of the Year.  Last year, to Dr. Craig’s shock, Westphall won the award.  This year, Dr. Craig is sure that he’s going to win.  Even though Craig says that he doesn’t care about awards, he still has his wife, Ellen (Bonnie Bartlett), write out a speech for him.

The dinner is just as boring as usual.  The majority of the doctors who show up mention that their spouse couldn’t make it because they suddenly came down with the flu.  When it is time to announce the Doctor of the Year, Dr. Craig prepares to accept the award.  However, the award is given — for the second year in a row — to Dr. Westphall!

Seriously?  I mean, what the Heck?  Nothing against Dr. Westphall but what exactly has he done to deserve the award this year?  Dr. Auschlander has continued to see patients while battling cancer.  Dr. Craig performed a heart transplant!  Meanwhile, Dr. Westphall has dealt with the administrative stuff and been kind of grumpy.  I’m totally on Dr. Craig’s side here.  There’s no way Westphall deserved that award for two years running.

Westphall, himself, had to leave the awards dinner early because of an emergency at the hospital.  (More on that below.)  Dr. Craig accepts the award in Westphall’s place and — surprise! — gives a sincere speech about how much he appreciates Dr. Westphall’s leadership.  Good for Dr. Craig!  That said, there’s no way Dr. Westphall deserved the award this year.

Meanwhile, Kathy Martin, who we last saw being raped by Peter White in the morgue, is missing.  Peter wanders through the hospital in a narcotic-induced haze, carrying his ski mask in his pocket.  He nearly attacks Shirley.  He does attack Wendy Armstrong and this time, he doesn’t even put on his ski mask.  Fortunately, Fiscus hears Wendy’s screams and knocks Peter out with a fire extinguisher.  Peter is taken away by the police while Westphall heads to Peter’s home to tell Peter’s wife that her husband is the Ski Mask Rapist.

Victor is thinking of getting divorced.  Bobby, on the other hand, decides to ask Joan to marry him.  And Dr. Morrison continues to get too involved with his patients.  When Joseph (Dan Hedaya), a construction worker dealing with random bouts of blindness, is told that he’ll have to quite job, Morrison calls out a fellow doctor being callous.  Good for Morrison!

The episode, a well-acted one that deftly mixed drama and comedy, ended with some unanswered questions.  Peter’s been arrested.  Is he gone for good?  And where is Kathy Martin?  And seriously, how did Dr. Westphall win that award!?

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.15 “Attack”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, the identity of the Ski Mask Rapist is revealed.

Episode 2.15 “Attack”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 22nd, 1984)

The Ski Mask Rapist is continuing to attack.  Off-screen, a pharmacist is assaulted while trying to catch her train.  In the hospital, a candy striper gets lost in the cavernous building and is attacked in a storage room.  When Shirley Daniels enters the storage room, she’s startled by a man wearing a pest control outfit.  She sprays him with her mace but is later told that the police do not believe that he was the rapist.  Instead, he was just a man trying to steal drugs.  When Fiscus tries to put together a list of men who will walk the women to their cars, Dr. Cavanero tells him that one of the men on his list could very well be the rapist.

Amongst themselves, the women who work at St. Eligius debate what they would do if they are attacked.  Shirley carries her mace.  Wendy says that she would use her keys as a weapon.  Jacqueline Wade says that women who don’t struggle and just submit have a better chance of surviving.  Dr. Cavanero dumps her insensitive boyfriend after he offers up a half-hearted, insincere apology for trying to force himself on her during the previous episode.  The head of the hospital’s security gives a lecture and makes the women feel like the attacks are somehow their fault.  “There’s no need to get hysterical,” he says.

(Myself, I carry mace.  I’m always scared that I’ll accidentally spray myself in the face with it but still, I carry it.)

Kathy Martin turns down the offer of a rape whistle, saying that carrying it would give her the aura of a victim.  As the episode ends, she’s attacked in the morgue.  She manages to push up the ski mask, revealing the face of …. Peter White.

It’s not really a surprise that Peter turned out to be the rapist.  I suspected it was him last week.  Rape may be classified as a sex crime but ultimately, it’s about power.  The weakest men are rapists and there’s no man on this show who is weaker than Peter White.  Before Peter attacks Kathy, we see him with a prostitute who tells him that it’s okay that he couldn’t get it up.  Peter mentions that it’s his anniversary.  Peter is weak and, looking back at the the moment he first appeared during the first season (begging Dr. Morrison to cover for him), it’s obvious that the series has been building up to the moment that he loses control.

There were other things that happened during this episode.  Geraldine Fitzgerald played a patient who Auschlander dated in his younger days.  (Now, she’s a drug addict.)  Victor and Roberta returned from their honeymoon, Victor with a painful sunburn and Roberta with a host of problems that she accidentally broadcast to the entire hospital while talking to her friend in the front office.  (You have to make sure the PA is turned off before talking about your sex life, folks.)  There was a humorous scene in which Dr. Ridley got into an argument with Roberta’s psychiatrist (Philip Sterling).  Dr. Morrison tried to figure out why his latest patient (Dan Hedaya) was suffering from sudden bouts of blindness.

In the end, though, this was a grim episode and not always an easy one for me to watch.  Honestly, if I had been a nurse or a doctor at that hospital, I would have walked as soon as it became apparent that the Ski Mask Rapist was someone inside the building.  I would have gone home and refused to come back until they caught the guy.

Kathy saw Peter’s face as he attacked her.  I fear what’s waiting for me on next week’s episode.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.14 “Drama Center”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, things get depressing.

Episode 2.14 “Drama Center”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on February 15th, 1984)

This week’s episode opens with a disturbing scene in which a woman, trying to get her car to start on a snowy night, is attacked and raped in the parking lot of St. Eligius.  The rapist is wearing a green jacket and a ski mask.

At first, I assumed that the rapist was a random lowlife, someone who would likely never be seen again.  But then Dr. Cavanero’s wealthy boyfriend tried to force himself on her and I was left wondering if maybe he would be revealed as the man in the ski mask.  However, towards the end of the episode, there was scene featuring Dr. Peter White.  Having been banned from working in the ER and from prescribing medicine, White is now working in the morgue and, needless to say, he spends this entire episode bitching about it.  As the episode ends, we see that Peter is holding a capsule in his hand, suggesting that he is once again abusing drugs.  However, I also noticed that Peter was wearing the same green jacket as the man in the ski mask!

This was a good episode, well-written and well-acted.  It was also pretty depressing.  Dr. Westphall brings his severely autistic, noncommunicative son Tommy (Chad Allen) to St. Eligius so that Dr. Ridley can examine him.  Dr. Ridley warns Westphall that Tommy is aggressive and that Westphall might not be able to continue to care for him at home, despite the fact that Westphall’s daughter (Dana Short) is planning on forgoing her dream college to stick around and help.  Westphall ends his day reading Tommy a book (“Your mom bought you this book.”) and breaking down into tears and it made me cry a little too.

Meanwhile, a TV crew followed around Dr. Craig for a documentary.  Needless to say, they got in the way and they got on Craig’s nerves.  The director was played by Michael Richards, who, of course, is best-known for playing Kramer on Seinfeld and then having a racist meltdown when he got heckled at a comedy club.   In an episode that was, emotionally, pretty dark, it was almost a relief to get some scenes of Dr. Craig losing his temper with the documentary crew.  As someone who knows William Daniels best as the kindly Mr. Feeney from countless Boy Meets World reruns, it’s been a real pleasure to Daniels as the prickly and arrogant Dr. Craig.  Dr. Craig wouldn’t have had much use for the Matthews clan and all of their drama.

This was an intense and sad episode.  It was St. Elsewhere at its most emotional.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.12 “High Explosive”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week’s episode is all about mistakes.

Episode 2.12 “High Explosive”

(Dir by Barry Crane, aired on December 9th, 1978)

This week’s episode features Jon Baker competing in a rodeo.  That’s not really a surprise.  Since the show began, it’s been established that Baker is a cowboy at heart and this episode is certainly not the first time that he’s mentioned growing up on a ranch in Wyoming.  (Larry Wilcox, himself, grew up in Wyoming and had some real-life rodeo experience.)  What is interesting is to listen to how the various actors pronounce the word rodeo.

Most of them, to their credit, pronounce it correctly.  A rodeo — that is, an event involving cowboys, steers, clowns, and all the rest — is pronounced “road-ee-oh.”  That’s how Larry Wilcox, Robert Pine, and the majority of the cast pronounce it.  Erik Estrada and Paul Linke, however, both pronounce it “Roe-Day-Oh,” as in the famous street in Beverly Hills.  Just a tip to any of our readers up north: Down here in the southwest, we pronounce it with a “dee” and not a “day.”

As for the rest of the episode, it’s all about mistakes.  For instance, ambulance driver Brad Holmes (Steve Oliver) loses his job after he gets arrested for reckless driving.  Desperate for money and not wanting to tell his wife that he lost his job, he agrees to transport a huge amount of old and unstable dynamite and he steals an ambulance with which to transport it!  Not smart.  Brad is an even worse driver with the explosives in the ambulance.  Ponch and Baker chase him down and Brad crashes on a playground.  While Ponch and Baker arrest Brad, a bunch of kids pick up the dynamite.  UH-OH!  Fortunately, Brad helps Ponch and Baker get the dynamite back.  He asks Ponch and Baker to put in a good word with the judge.

(Yeah …. I don’t know how many good words you can really put in for someone who used a stolen ambulance to transport highly unstable explosives through a heavily populated area of Los Angeles.)

Meanwhile, 14 year-old Barry (Ike Eisenmann) accidentally shoots a car with his pellet gun.  The car crashes.  The driver, Mary Barnes (Roseanne Katon), survives with minor injuries but her sister nearly dies.  Mary says that she wants to press charges against Barry.  She doesn’t care that he’s only 14.  Baker and Ponch arrange for Mary to spend the day at the rodeo with Barry, so that she can see that he’s just a scared kid who didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  Barry is from Utah and lonely and Baker and Ponch feel sorry for him.

But you know what?  The fact of the matter is that Barry is 14.  He’s not some 10 year-old kid.  He’s a teenager.  He’s old enough to know better than to shoot a pellet gun around a busy highway.  Barry is a lonely kid and that sucks.  But again, he nearly killed someone and he caused a huge wreck.  I’m on Mary’s side.  Throw the book at Barry.  Letting Barry get away with doing something that stupid isn’t going to be good for him or anyone else.  Mary, however, disagrees with me.  Barry’s off the hook and he even gets to go to the rodeo.

What a frustrating episode!  Ponch and Baker let me down but at least one of them knows how to pronounce rodeo.

Cleaning Out The DVR Yet Again #26: The Muthers (dir by Cirio H. Santiago)


(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR!  It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet.  So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR!  She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by the end of Tuesday, December 6th!  Will she make it?  Keep checking the site to find out!)

the-muthers

On November 13th, TCM Underground aired the 1976 Filipino women-in-prison film, The Muthers!  And I recorded it!

Before I say anything about the film itself, I want to acknowledge how much I love the poster above.  I mean, that poster promises a film full of actions, thrills, and a healthy dose of girl power.  You look at that poster and you think to yourself, “The Muthers must be one the greatest drive-in films ever made!”

You might also think that from reading about the film’s plot.  The Muthers opens with Kelly (Jeannie Bell) and Anggie (Rosanne Keaton) sailing the high seas. It turns out that they’re pirates!  They forcibly board yachts and rob decadent rich people.  They’re good at their job and they have fun, too!  Even better, they’re constantly fighting a rival pirate, a blowhard chauvinist named Turko (John Montomgery)!  Turko only has one eye, that’s how much of a pirate he is!

If the film had just been Kelly and Anggie fighting Turko, The Muthers probably would be a classic.  However, since this is a Filipino women-in-prison film, Kelly soon discovers that her sister has been imprisoned on Get Out If You Can Island.  (Seriously, that’s what they call the island.)  The island is run by the evil Montiero (played by Tony Carreon, a perennial villain in Filipino cinema) and, if they don’t rescue her, Montiero will sell her into prostitution.

Naturally, Kelly and Anggie go undercover and infiltrate the island.  Sadly, the film gets kind of boring after Kelly and Anggie reach the prison.  One reason why Filipino exploitation films are so respected and loved by aficionados of grindhouse cinema is because they frequently went totally and completely over the top.  There was a shamelessness to the best of the Filipino grindhouse films and it makes them fascinating to watch.  The Muthers starts out like a classic, with the pirates and Turko and all that, but once Kelly and Anggie reach the island, the film becomes oddly restrained.  There’s little violence, little sex, only one notable use of slow motion, and the film even lacks the radical political subtext that runs through many women-in-prison films.  One can’t help but wonder what the late Jess Franco would have done with the same material.

So, sadly, The Muthers failed to live up to the promise of that poster.

It happens.

muthers