“You are all my children now.”
Hey, does that voice sound familiar? Who would have thought you could dance to Freddy Krueger?
Some people have told me that they find the clown in this video to even scarier than Freddy.
Tag Archives: Robert Englund
Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.12 “Deadline”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!
This week …. oh, who knows?
Episode 1.12 “Deadline”
(Dir by Michael Lange, originally aired on January 29th, 1989)
This week’s first story is about Peter (Aaron Harnick), whose father owns the local Springwood paper and who is given a job for the summer. He’s assigned to write the obits so that he can hang out around the newspaper office and learn from the veteran writers. Peter would rather be in Europe. That’s especially true when he starts to visualize the obits that he’s writing and somehow comes to realize that he’ll die unless he meets his deadline.
This story was the epitome of a good premise that was sloppily executed. Peter hates writing obits but if he doesn’t write the obits, he’ll die in the same way as the person that he’s writing about. He has visions. He has dreams. Unfortunately, both his boss and his girlfriend tell him to stop working on his current obit and to get some rest. But if Peter stop writing, he’ll die! Uhmm …. how long does it take to type up an obituary? I mean, doesn’t he just have to type up whatever dead person’s loved ones sent to the paper?
There’s a clever moment where Peter deletes an old article about Freddy Krueger from the newspaper’s computer system. The episode implies that maybe Peter’s visions are in some way Freddy’s revenge but, as was so often the case with this show, it doesn’t really do much to explore the idea.
The first story ends with Peter dead. The episode’s second story deals with Emily (Page Hannah), a friend of Peter’s girlfriend. Emily has been dating an older college student (Timothy Brantley) and she continually has dreams where her friends — including Peter’s girlfriend — get mad at her for not spending more time with her. In her dreams, her friends all die in a car accident. At the end of the story, it turns out that Emily was just daydreaming. Seriously, that’s the entire story.
What a terrible episode. I usually try to be positive about even the lesser episodes but I have to admit that I’m kind of ticked off that I wasted 50 minutes watching this week’s episode of Freddy’s Nightmares. It felt as the show’s writers didn’t even try this week. Instead, they just came up with some weird scenes and then dismissed them by shrugging and saying, “Hey, it was all a dream. Nothing means anything!”
This episode was just lazy.
Made-For-TV Horror Review: Mind Over Murder (dir by Ivan Nagy)
In the 1979 made-for-TV movie, Mind over Murder, Deborah Raffin stars as Suzy.
Suzy is a model and an actress. She has a nice apartment, which she shares with her football-loving boyfriend, Ben (Bruce Davison). She has a best friend (Penelope Willis), who is constantly looking to get laid. Her latest job requires her to dance with a man who is dressed up like a giant hamburger. It would seem that, by the standards of 1979, Suzy has the perfect life.
However, her life is turned upside down when she suddenly starts having visions. All of the action around her will either switch to slow motion or stop altogether while Suzy has a vision of a scary-looking bald man (Andrew Prine) stalking her. Her most disturbing vision involves Suzy hearing the sound of a pilot begging for help while his airplane crashes. Ben tells her that she’s probably just working too hard but, the next morning, Suzy looks at a newspaper and immediately sees a headline about a plane crash.
With Ben dismissing her concerns, Suzy takes it upon herself to meet with the two detectives (David Ackroyd and Robert Englund — yes, Robert Englund!) investigating the plane crash. They are surprisingly sympathetic to Suzy’s story of hearing the plane crash before it happened. They arrange for her to meet a psychic researcher, who explains that Suzy must have some sort of mental connection to whoever was responsible for the crash. While Ben continues to be skeptical and jealous of all the time that she’s spending with one of the detectives, Suzy keeping having disturbing visions of the bald man….
Considering its origins as a made-for-TV movie, Mind Over Murder is a surprisingly frightening film. This is a film that proves that slow motion can make just about anything creepy and Deborah Raffin does a good job of showing us just how much Suzy dreads those moments when everything starts to slow down and she realizes that she’s about to get hit with another vision. That said, what truly makes this film frightening is the performance of Andrew Prine, who plays the bald man as being every woman’s nightmare. He’s a misogynist, the type who is convinced that every woman should be in love with him and that those who aren’t should be punished. Whether he’s appearing in Suzy’s visions or stepping into her reality, Andrew Prine is never less than terrifying.
Along with featuring a scary performance from Prine, this film also features a genuinely likable one from Robert Englund. Englund is playing a nice guy here. In fact, before he made horror history in A Nightmare in Elm Street, Englund almost always played nice guys. It’s interesting to watch him here, with his friendly manner and his polite style, and to imagine the roles Englund would have ended up playing if he hadn’t gotten typecast as a horribly scarred serial killer.
The first hour of Mind over Murder is brilliant. The final 30 minutes, unfortunately, find the film turning into a far more conventional thriller, as Suzy’s visions are replaced by the Bald Man actually coming after her. That said, this is still an effective horror thriller and one that deserves to be rediscovered this Halloween season.
Music Video of the Day: Are You Ready For Freddy? by the Fat Boys (1988, directed by Harvey Keith)
I always assumed that this song was specifically written for one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies but actually, the Fat Boys were just fans of the movies and they decided to put a song about them on one of their albums. The song was included in The Freddy Krueger Special, which aired on CBS in 1988.
This video, which features several of Freddy’s victims and Robert Englund himself, was written by Wes Craven and directed by Harvey Keith. Keith directed a few films, including 1988’s Mondo New York and 1990’s Jezebel’s Kiss.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.12 “The End of the World”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, dreaming saves the world.
Episode 1.12 “The End of the World”
(Dir by Jonathan R. Betuel, originally aired on January 15th, 1989)
Weird episode.
The first half of the episode featured Mary Kohnert as Amy Collins, a young woman who starts to have dreams about the past and discovers that she can change reality depending on what she does in her dream. Most of the dreams center around the accidental death of her mother. Amy sets about to save her mother’s life but she discovers that changing the past will always lead to unforeseen consequences.
Unfortunately, her psychiatrist (George Lazenby) rats her out to the CIA and Amy is soon being forced to work for the U.S. military. When she senses that a soldier is planning on launching a nuclear attack and plunging the world into war, Amy is forced to do a mind-meld of sorts with him. She watches as the army manages to break into his bunker and gun him down right before he launches the nukes.
I can’t complain about a show trying something different and I actually found it interesting how the two stories were totally different in style and tone. The second story featured a dream about a nuclear war that was pretty disturbing. On TV, Gumby and his horse melted from the atomic heat. That said, this episode suffered from the same flaw as many of the episode of Freddy’s Nightmares, in that it really didn’t have the budget necessary to achieve what it was hoping to accomplish.
Still, who can forget the image of Freddy Krueger riding a nuclear missile in the style of Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Strangelove?
Along with having an interesting premise, this one also had some interesting guest stars. Along with George Lazenby and Gumby, Walter Gotell, Andrew Prine, and Albert Hall all made appearances. I guess when Freddy Krueger invites you, you don’t say no.
Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.11 “Do Dreams Bleed?”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, there’s a new threat in town!
Episode 1.11 “Do Dreams Bleed?”
(Dir by Dwight H. Little, originally aired on January 8th, 1989)
There’s a new serial killer in Springwood!
We don’t really learn much about the Chopper, other than he attacks people with an axe. When the episode begins, high school football star John Warring (Damon Martin) is dealing with dual trauma of having not only found the Chopper’s latest victim but also being the number one suspect. His grades start to slip. (As was so often the case on this show, his parents are conveniently out-of-town.) He fears that he’s going to lose his girlfriend, Roni (Sarah Buxton). Not even John’s coach, Coach Gacey (Jeff McCarthy), is much help. That’s probably because Coach Gacey actually is the Chopper, not that anyone figures that out. Driven mad by his dreams, John finds himself being taken away to an asylum.
(Really? Coach Gacey? He should have been the number one suspect based on his name alone.)
The second half of the episode follows Ronni as she now starts to have nightmares. She wants to believe that John is innocent but her dreams indicate that she has her doubts. Eventually, John escapes from prison and is able to save Ronni from Coach Gacey. However, when the police arrive, they just assume that Coach Gacey was trying to save Ronni and that John is the Chopper. Ronni is so shaken by the entire experience that she no longer knows what’s true and what’s not.
Wow, that’s dark!
This was actually a pretty good episode. For once the two stories had coherent plots, with Ronni’s story logically building off of John’s. The dream sequences were effectively creepy, director Dwight Little kept the action moving at a good pace, and even the dark ending felt earned as opposed to forced on the narrative. I would have liked to have heard Freddy’s thoughts on Springwood having a new serial killer (instead, during the host segments, Freddy just did his usual bad jokes) but otherwise, this was a surprisingly good episode.
Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.10 “The Bride Wore Red”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, who the Hell knows?
Episode 1.10 “The Bride Wore Red”
(Dir by George Kaczender, originally aired on December 18th, 1988)
This was a dumbass episode.
The first half of the episode dealt with Gavin (Eddie Driscoll) and his anxiety about his upcoming wedding to Jessica (Diane Franklin). His friends take him out to a bar (called the Ball and Chain) where a stripper (Michele Pawk) ties him up and then taunts him about how bad marriage is going to be. At the wedding, Gavin keeps seeing a mysterious woman (Katherine Moffat) who is dressed in red. Then, we flash forward and see how miserable Gavin and Jessica are as a married couple. Jessica no longer wear dresses and instead spends all day in sweatpants. Gavin only kiss her when he wants sex. He spends all of his time at the office. Suddenly, we’re back at the church and Gavin says, “I do,” and kisses Jessica while the woman in red watches from her pew.
Obviously, the flashforwards were all a part of Gavin’s fantasy while standing at the altar. But if the flashforwards were the fantasy, what are we to make of the equally cartoonish scenes at the bar? Was all of that supposed to be real? Even more importantly, who cares one way or the other? There really wasn’t much of a story here.
The second half of the episode opened with Jessica and Gavin returning from their honeymoon. Jessica is upset when she learns her father wants them to come over for dinner. Jessica then goes out on her own, picks up a married man, ties him to a hotel room bed, and takes his picture. She has an entire album full of pictures so apparently, she’s been doing this for a long time.
A dream sequence reveals that, when Jessica was a child, she caught her father cheating on her mother and he told her that if she ever told anyone, it would lead to divorce and Jessica would be carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Back in the “real” world, Jessica and Gavin arrive for dinner but Jessica freaks out when she sees that her father (Arthur Roberts) is holding a carving knife. Jessica reveals that her father cheated on her mother (Margaret Shinn) but her mother reveals that she already knows. Jessica runs from the house and is kidnapped by the guy she previously photographed. Soon, she’s the one who is tied to a bed while the guy sharpens a knife….
But then, suddenly, Jessica is tied down to a bed in a mental hospital and her husband is telling a doctor that “this always happens” whenever she has dinner with her parents. Hey, Gavin — maybe y’all should just stop having dinner with her parents. Just a thought.
Despite the presence of the talented Diane Franklin, this episode felt pretty superfluous. Gavin’s story felt pointless. Jessica’s story at least had a point but it still fell flat. I’m not sure why Freddy would waste his time with either one of these nightmares.
Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.7 “Sister’s Keeper”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, Freddy is out for revenge.
Episode 7.1 “Sister’s Keeper”
(Dir by Ken Wiederhorn, originally aired on November 20th, 1988)
Freddy’s Nightmares started with Freddy Krueger killing Deputy Blocker, the man who had led the vigilante mob that set him on fire. This episode finds Freddy seeking revenge on Blocker’s twin teenager daughters, neurotic Merit (Hili Park) and the supercool, super awesome Lisa (Gry Park). Merit is convinced hat Freddy is haunting her nightmares and, as a result, she’s a bit of an outcast at school. Lisa, on the other hand, believes that Freddy is dead and buried. Lisa is stable and popular at school and even has a jock boyfriend.
Needless to say, Merit is a bit jealous of Lisa. For me, this was the most realistic part of this episode. People are always jealous of girls named Lisa, especially when they’ve got it all together as this Lisa does. (Trust me, I know!) It’s a heavy burden to bear but it happens. Lisa, being a saint, tries to help Merit out but Merit is pretty unappreciative.
Lisa even dresses up like Merit and pretends to be Merit so that she can experience what it’s like to be her sister. Lisa discovers that her boyfriend is just as interesting in sleeping with Merit as in sleeping with her. Booo! What a creep! Even worse, Lisa discovers that Freddy is real and that he’s after both her and Merit.
Like the pilot, this episode tells one story and most of the action centers around Freddy. Freddy actually takes part in this week’s story and, even by his standards, he’s cruel. “I’ll make it gentle,” he tells the terrified Merit, a reminder that Freddy was always a far more perverse killer than the seemingly asexual Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. This episode was a reminder of just how scary Freddy could be. Robert Englund didn’t hold up.
Merit and Lisa learn how to dream “in sync” so that they can both face Freddy at the same time. It’s a cool idea that does absolutely no good. As Lisa puts it, “It doesn’t work, you can’t make him go away!” Lisa ends up dead (boo!) while Merit is blamed for her murder. And so the episode ends.
Wow, that’s not a happy ending. Not only did Freddy triumph but supercool Lisa was killed, largely due to her sister’s incompetence. Then again, there really aren’t that many happy endings to be found when it comes to Freddy Krueger. The ending was depressing but effective and, even more importantly, it was really the only way the story could have ended.
This episode was pretty good. It’s certainly the best that I’ve seen so far. Merit and Lisa were real-played by the Park sisters and Robert Englund once again showed just how frightening he could be as Freddy Krueger. Within the confines imposed by television syndication, this was a genuinely frightening episode.
Freddy’s Nightmares Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.6 “Saturday Night Special”
GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This episode was really two storylines that had very little to do with one another; so, I’ll have to do like a story A and a story B. Story A shows Gordon (Scott Burkholder) and weird friend pining for a blonde bombshell ice skater. This entire scene is really creepy. Why? Neither of these guys went to the skating rink to skate or watch a game. They are literally just there to watch people. Yikes!
Gordon has an OK job. He is not particularly handsome, but he’s not the worst. Anyway, he’s lonely. Gordon decides to use a dating service that has him lie on a video to get women. This could’ve been a cool plot line, if the dating service was run by the devil and he was selling his soul, but nope, it was just a dumb dating service. Then, out of nowhere, he was dead the whole time. So, huh?
Story B has an unattractive woman named Mary who gets convinced by her pretty coworker to get bizarre plastic surgery to be beautiful, but she’s actually not beautiful. It was so convoluted that it was really hard to follow.
The story B also had a sub plot that the real estate place where Mary worked was hiring pretty women to sleep with the clients to close deals. After Mary beautifies herself, she agrees to prostitute herself to close a real estate deal, but then the client thinks she’s ugly and she dies. Yep, the plot was schizophrenic. I was going to use a flow chart to follow it, but I can’t spend more time on story than the writers did.
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.10 “Forty Tons Of Trouble”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, two sets of thieves cause trouble!
Episode 4.10 “Forty Tons Of Trouble”
(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on January 11th, 1981)
A group of criminals is stealing equipment from construction sites and selling it on the black market. An attempt to steal a loader leads to it rolling down a Los Angeles street until Baker is able to jump onto it and crash it into a (hopefully) abandoned building. Getraer points out that Baker just destroyed a building. Baker shrugs and says he’s always wanted to do that.
A different group of criminals is stealing parts for their drag racer. The CHiPs have their own car entered into the drag races. Of course, it’s driven by Ponch.
After two accidents on the highway and several chases, Baker and Ponch (but mostly Ponch) capture the bad guys. Paula Kohl (Mary Louise Weller), the owner of Kohl Construction, appreciates the efforts of Baker and Ponch (but mostly Ponch).
In other words, this was a typical episode of CHiPs. Still, it’s memorable because of the supporting cast. Amongst the construction site thieves is Robert Englund. Englund thinks that Sarge (Taylor Lacher) is taking to many risks when it comes to trying to steal loaders and bulldozers but Sarge is like, “I got it under control.” Meanwhile, amongst the drag race thieves, is Chris Mulkey. Mulkey doesn’t get to do much but he does get two scenes where he smirks at Ponch. Sadly, both characters end up getting arrested during this episode but have no fear. Robert Englund went on to play Freddy Krueger. Chris Mulkey went on to play the sleazy but strangely likable Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks.
As for the rest of the episode — hey, I don’t ask for much from CHiPs. As long as there’s a good crash scene and a lot of cool cars, I’m happy. This episode delivered. One could ask why Ponch is always the one who gets to do the cool things, like driving in the race and taking Paula out on a fancy date. Earlier seasons usually tried to portray Ponch and Baker as being equals. This season, though, has clearly been The Ponch Show. It’s a legitimate criticism but …. eh. Sometimes, you just want to watch a chase or two.
Through the Shattered Lens 