Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, dreaming saves the world.
Episode 1.12 “The End of the World”
(Dir by Jonathan R. Betuel, originally aired on January 15th, 1989)
Weird episode.
The first half of the episode featured Mary Kohnert as Amy Collins, a young woman who starts to have dreams about the past and discovers that she can change reality depending on what she does in her dream. Most of the dreams center around the accidental death of her mother. Amy sets about to save her mother’s life but she discovers that changing the past will always lead to unforeseen consequences.
Unfortunately, her psychiatrist (George Lazenby) rats her out to the CIA and Amy is soon being forced to work for the U.S. military. When she senses that a soldier is planning on launching a nuclear attack and plunging the world into war, Amy is forced to do a mind-meld of sorts with him. She watches as the army manages to break into his bunker and gun him down right before he launches the nukes.
I can’t complain about a show trying something different and I actually found it interesting how the two stories were totally different in style and tone. The second story featured a dream about a nuclear war that was pretty disturbing. On TV, Gumby and his horse melted from the atomic heat. That said, this episode suffered from the same flaw as many of the episode of Freddy’s Nightmares, in that it really didn’t have the budget necessary to achieve what it was hoping to accomplish.
Still, who can forget the image of Freddy Krueger riding a nuclear missile in the style of Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Strangelove?
Along with having an interesting premise, this one also had some interesting guest stars. Along with George Lazenby and Gumby, Walter Gotell, Andrew Prine, and Albert Hall all made appearances. I guess when Freddy Krueger invites you, you don’t say no.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, there’s a new threat in town!
Episode 1.11 “Do Dreams Bleed?”
(Dir by Dwight H. Little, originally aired on January 8th, 1989)
There’s a new serial killer in Springwood!
We don’t really learn much about the Chopper, other than he attacks people with an axe. When the episode begins, high school football star John Warring (Damon Martin) is dealing with dual trauma of having not only found the Chopper’s latest victim but also being the number one suspect. His grades start to slip. (As was so often the case on this show, his parents are conveniently out-of-town.) He fears that he’s going to lose his girlfriend, Roni (Sarah Buxton). Not even John’s coach, Coach Gacey (Jeff McCarthy), is much help. That’s probably because Coach Gacey actually is the Chopper, not that anyone figures that out. Driven mad by his dreams, John finds himself being taken away to an asylum.
(Really? Coach Gacey? He should have been the number one suspect based on his name alone.)
The second half of the episode follows Ronni as she now starts to have nightmares. She wants to believe that John is innocent but her dreams indicate that she has her doubts. Eventually, John escapes from prison and is able to save Ronni from Coach Gacey. However, when the police arrive, they just assume that Coach Gacey was trying to save Ronni and that John is the Chopper. Ronni is so shaken by the entire experience that she no longer knows what’s true and what’s not.
Wow, that’s dark!
This was actually a pretty good episode. For once the two stories had coherent plots, with Ronni’s story logically building off of John’s. The dream sequences were effectively creepy, director Dwight Little kept the action moving at a good pace, and even the dark ending felt earned as opposed to forced on the narrative. I would have liked to have heard Freddy’s thoughts on Springwood having a new serial killer (instead, during the host segments, Freddy just did his usual bad jokes) but otherwise, this was a surprisingly good episode.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, who the Hell knows?
Episode 1.10 “The Bride Wore Red”
(Dir by George Kaczender, originally aired on December 18th, 1988)
This was a dumbass episode.
The first half of the episode dealt with Gavin (Eddie Driscoll) and his anxiety about his upcoming wedding to Jessica (Diane Franklin). His friends take him out to a bar (called the Ball and Chain) where a stripper (Michele Pawk) ties him up and then taunts him about how bad marriage is going to be. At the wedding, Gavin keeps seeing a mysterious woman (Katherine Moffat) who is dressed in red. Then, we flash forward and see how miserable Gavin and Jessica are as a married couple. Jessica no longer wear dresses and instead spends all day in sweatpants. Gavin only kiss her when he wants sex. He spends all of his time at the office. Suddenly, we’re back at the church and Gavin says, “I do,” and kisses Jessica while the woman in red watches from her pew.
Obviously, the flashforwards were all a part of Gavin’s fantasy while standing at the altar. But if the flashforwards were the fantasy, what are we to make of the equally cartoonish scenes at the bar? Was all of that supposed to be real? Even more importantly, who cares one way or the other? There really wasn’t much of a story here.
The second half of the episode opened with Jessica and Gavin returning from their honeymoon. Jessica is upset when she learns her father wants them to come over for dinner. Jessica then goes out on her own, picks up a married man, ties him to a hotel room bed, and takes his picture. She has an entire album full of pictures so apparently, she’s been doing this for a long time.
A dream sequence reveals that, when Jessica was a child, she caught her father cheating on her mother and he told her that if she ever told anyone, it would lead to divorce and Jessica would be carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Back in the “real” world, Jessica and Gavin arrive for dinner but Jessica freaks out when she sees that her father (Arthur Roberts) is holding a carving knife. Jessica reveals that her father cheated on her mother (Margaret Shinn) but her mother reveals that she already knows. Jessica runs from the house and is kidnapped by the guy she previously photographed. Soon, she’s the one who is tied to a bed while the guy sharpens a knife….
But then, suddenly, Jessica is tied down to a bed in a mental hospital and her husband is telling a doctor that “this always happens” whenever she has dinner with her parents. Hey, Gavin — maybe y’all should just stop having dinner with her parents. Just a thought.
Despite the presence of the talented Diane Franklin, this episode felt pretty superfluous. Gavin’s story felt pointless. Jessica’s story at least had a point but it still fell flat. I’m not sure why Freddy would waste his time with either one of these nightmares.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This week, Freddy is out for revenge.
Episode 7.1 “Sister’s Keeper”
(Dir by Ken Wiederhorn, originally aired on November 20th, 1988)
Freddy’s Nightmares started with Freddy Krueger killing Deputy Blocker, the man who had led the vigilante mob that set him on fire. This episode finds Freddy seeking revenge on Blocker’s twin teenager daughters, neurotic Merit (Hili Park) and the supercool, super awesome Lisa (Gry Park). Merit is convinced hat Freddy is haunting her nightmares and, as a result, she’s a bit of an outcast at school. Lisa, on the other hand, believes that Freddy is dead and buried. Lisa is stable and popular at school and even has a jock boyfriend.
Needless to say, Merit is a bit jealous of Lisa. For me, this was the most realistic part of this episode. People are always jealous of girls named Lisa, especially when they’ve got it all together as this Lisa does. (Trust me, I know!) It’s a heavy burden to bear but it happens. Lisa, being a saint, tries to help Merit out but Merit is pretty unappreciative.
Lisa even dresses up like Merit and pretends to be Merit so that she can experience what it’s like to be her sister. Lisa discovers that her boyfriend is just as interesting in sleeping with Merit as in sleeping with her. Booo! What a creep! Even worse, Lisa discovers that Freddy is real and that he’s after both her and Merit.
Like the pilot, this episode tells one story and most of the action centers around Freddy. Freddy actually takes part in this week’s story and, even by his standards, he’s cruel. “I’ll make it gentle,” he tells the terrified Merit, a reminder that Freddy was always a far more perverse killer than the seemingly asexual Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. This episode was a reminder of just how scary Freddy could be. Robert Englund didn’t hold up.
Merit and Lisa learn how to dream “in sync” so that they can both face Freddy at the same time. It’s a cool idea that does absolutely no good. As Lisa puts it, “It doesn’t work, you can’t make him go away!” Lisa ends up dead (boo!) while Merit is blamed for her murder. And so the episode ends.
Wow, that’s not a happy ending. Not only did Freddy triumph but supercool Lisa was killed, largely due to her sister’s incompetence. Then again, there really aren’t that many happy endings to be found when it comes to Freddy Krueger. The ending was depressing but effective and, even more importantly, it was really the only way the story could have ended.
This episode was pretty good. It’s certainly the best that I’ve seen so far. Merit and Lisa were real-played by the Park sisters and Robert Englund once again showed just how frightening he could be as Freddy Krueger. Within the confines imposed by television syndication, this was a genuinely frightening episode.
GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This episode was really two storylines that had very little to do with one another; so, I’ll have to do like a story A and a story B. Story A shows Gordon (Scott Burkholder) and weird friend pining for a blonde bombshell ice skater. This entire scene is really creepy. Why? Neither of these guys went to the skating rink to skate or watch a game. They are literally just there to watch people. Yikes!
Super creepy Rob Lowe likes to go to the rec center and watch folks swim just like these guys who go to the rec center and watch people ice skate
Gordon has an OK job. He is not particularly handsome, but he’s not the worst. Anyway, he’s lonely. Gordon decides to use a dating service that has him lie on a video to get women. This could’ve been a cool plot line, if the dating service was run by the devil and he was selling his soul, but nope, it was just a dumb dating service. Then, out of nowhere, he was dead the whole time. So, huh?
Story B has an unattractive woman named Mary who gets convinced by her pretty coworker to get bizarre plastic surgery to be beautiful, but she’s actually not beautiful. It was so convoluted that it was really hard to follow.
The story B also had a sub plot that the real estate place where Mary worked was hiring pretty women to sleep with the clients to close deals. After Mary beautifies herself, she agrees to prostitute herself to close a real estate deal, but then the client thinks she’s ugly and she dies. Yep, the plot was schizophrenic. I was going to use a flow chart to follow it, but I can’t spend more time on story than the writers did.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, two sets of thieves cause trouble!
Episode 4.10 “Forty Tons Of Trouble”
(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on January 11th, 1981)
A group of criminals is stealing equipment from construction sites and selling it on the black market. An attempt to steal a loader leads to it rolling down a Los Angeles street until Baker is able to jump onto it and crash it into a (hopefully) abandoned building. Getraer points out that Baker just destroyed a building. Baker shrugs and says he’s always wanted to do that.
A different group of criminals is stealing parts for their drag racer. The CHiPs have their own car entered into the drag races. Of course, it’s driven by Ponch.
After two accidents on the highway and several chases, Baker and Ponch (but mostly Ponch) capture the bad guys. Paula Kohl (Mary Louise Weller), the owner of Kohl Construction, appreciates the efforts of Baker and Ponch (but mostly Ponch).
In other words, this was a typical episode of CHiPs. Still, it’s memorable because of the supporting cast. Amongst the construction site thieves is Robert Englund. Englund thinks that Sarge (Taylor Lacher) is taking to many risks when it comes to trying to steal loaders and bulldozers but Sarge is like, “I got it under control.” Meanwhile, amongst the drag race thieves, is Chris Mulkey. Mulkey doesn’t get to do much but he does get two scenes where he smirks at Ponch. Sadly, both characters end up getting arrested during this episode but have no fear. Robert Englund went on to play Freddy Krueger. Chris Mulkey went on to play the sleazy but strangely likable Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks.
As for the rest of the episode — hey, I don’t ask for much from CHiPs. As long as there’s a good crash scene and a lot of cool cars, I’m happy. This episode delivered. One could ask why Ponch is always the one who gets to do the cool things, like driving in the race and taking Paula out on a fancy date. Earlier seasons usually tried to portray Ponch and Baker as being equals. This season, though, has clearly been The Ponch Show. It’s a legitimate criticism but …. eh. Sometimes, you just want to watch a chase or two.
Today’s scene that I love comes from 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street. Directed by the great Wes Craven, A Nightmare on Elm Street remains a frightening and creepy masterpiece. It’s ability to scare its audience has not been diminished by countless sequels and rip-offs.
In this scene, Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) discovers that she’s not even safe from Freddy (Robert Englund) at school.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
Let’s see what’s happening in Springwood!
Episode 1.2 “It’s A Miserable Life”
(Dir by Tom McLoughlin, originally aired on October 16th, 1988)
Bryan Ross (a young John Cameron Mitchell, giving a performance that really can’t be described as being anything less than lousy) is the son of the owner of the Beefy Boy hamburger joint in Springwood, Ohio. Bryan wants to go to college. His dad (Peter Iacangelo) and his mom (Annie O’Donnell) want him to take over the family business and join them in singing “Chew me, eat me, you can’t beat me.”
Bryan is working the overnight shift alone when a scruffy man (Michael Melvin) pulls up to the drive-through on his motorcycle and threatens to kill him. Bryan passes out but, when he wakes up, he’s got a throbbing headache and he keeps seeing blood dripping on the floor. Bryan’s girlfriend, Karyn (Lar Park Lincoln, giving a good performance), takes Bryan home. At his house, Bryan discovers his mom and dad are acting weird. Bryan tries to convince his parents to let him leave home. Dad tries to stick his head in the oven. Mom tries to seduce her son and then climbs into the refrigerator. On the radio, there’s a news story about “another” drive-by shooting. What could it all mean!?
Oh, you know what it all means. Even if you haven’t watched the episode, you know that the motorcycle man obviously shot Bryan in the head and everything that happens after Bryan leaves Beefy Boy is just his dying vision. It’s not a bad idea but it’s ineffectively executed. We don’t really know enough about Bryan or his parents for Bryan’s hallucination to carry any impact and, from what we do see, they all appear to be broadly-drawn caricatures. This episode also commits the sin of introducing a memorable character — the man on the motorcycle — and then not exploring just who or what he was meant to be.
Bryan’s story was wrapped up in 20 minutes. The second half of the episode dealt with Karyn. Shot in the same drive-by attack that killed Bryan, Karyn ended up at the hospital and …. well, I guess her story was another collection of hallucinations that really didn’t add up to much. The story was effective because hospitals are scary and Lar Park Lincoln gave a better performance than John Cameron Mitchell did in his story. That said, the entire story was basically Karyn getting upset because everyone kept saying that her parents were on their way. Finally, Karyn finally revealed that — you guessed it! — her parents were dead and that they died at the same hospital where she was taken after getting shot. As the episode ended, Karyn saw her parents standing in the doorway and screamed and thrashed around in bed while the doctor and nurse tried to calm her. And …. that was it. I mean, is Karyn dead? Is that why her parents showed up? Is Karyn hallucinating again? Much like a drunk frat boy, this story didn’t reach a climax as much as it just stopped.
As for Freddy, he showed up to introduce each story. There was a cool moment where he emerged from the restaurant’s fry cooker. For the hospital scene, he put on scrubs. He didn’t actually interact with either Bryan or Karyn but he still took credit for their suffering. I think Freddy was just bragging on himself.
This episode was pretty uneven. For the most part, I’m just glad I don’t live in Springwood.
In the 1976 film StayHungry, Jeff Bridges plays Craig Blake.
When we first meet Craig, he doesn’t have much of a personality, though we still like him because he’s played by Jeff Bridges. Living in Alabama, he’s a young rich kid who, after the death of his parents, divides his time between his nearly empty mansion and his country club. Craig suffers from a good deal of ennui and seems to spend a lot of time writing letters to his uncle in which he promises that he’s going to eventually get his life together. Craig eventually gets a job at a real estate firm that is managed by Jabo (Joe Spinell). We know that the real estate firm is shady because Joe Spinell works there.
Craig is assigned to handle the purchase of a small gym so that he can eventually close the place and allow it to be torn down to make room for an office building. However, Craig soon falls for the gang of colorful eccentrics whose lives revolve around the gym and bodybuilder Joe Santo (Arnold Schwarzenegger, who gets an “introducing” credit, even though this was his fourth film). The friendly Franklin (Robert Englund) is Santo’s “grease” man. Anita (Helena Kallianiotes) is tough and can kick anyone’s ass. The receptionist, Mary Tate (Sally Field), is a free spirit with whom Craig soon falls in love. In fact, the only less than likable person at the gym is the former owner, Thor Erickson (R.G. Armstrong), a heavy-drinking perv who has a hole in the floor of his office that he uses to peek down at the women’s locker room.
There’s not much of a plot here. Instead, the film plays out in a rather laid back manner, with Santo befriending Craig and showing him the joy of embracing life. Arnold Schwarzenegger actually won an award (well, a Golden Globe) for his performance here and it must be said that he’s very good as the gentle and easy-going Santo. Because he’s huge and he’s Schwarzenegger, we expect him to be intimidating. Instead, he’s a soft-spoken guy who is quick to smile and who doesn’t even get upset when he finds out that Mary Tate and Craig are now involved. There’s even a surprising scene where Joe Santo picks up a fiddle and starts playing with a bluegrass band. Schwarzenegger is so likable here that it’s easy to wonder where his career might have gone if he hadn’t become an action star. Even early in his career (and when he was still speaking with a very thick accent), Schwarzenegger shows off a natural comic timing. He’s fun to watch.
In fact, he’s so much fun that the rest of the film suffers whenever he’s not onscreen. The cast is full of talented people but the film’s loose, plotless structure keeps us from truly getting too invested in any of them. (Santo is training for Mr. Universe so at least he gets an actual storyline.) Sally Field and Jeff Bridges are cute together but their romance is never quite as enchanting as it seems like it should be. The main problem with the film is that, when it ends, one still feels like Craig will eventually get bored with the gym and return back to his mansion and his country club. One doesn’t get the feeling that Craig has been changed so much as Craig just seems to be slumming for the heck of it.
There are charming moments in StayHungry. I’m a Southern girl so I can attest that the film captured the feel of the South better than most films. If you’re a Schwarzenegger fan, you have to see this film because it really does feature Arnie at his most charming and natural. Unfortunately, despite all that, the film itself never really comes together.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
Having finished up Friday the 13th, I’m not going to take a look at another syndicated horror show that aired around the same time. Freddy’sNightmares was an anthology show hosted by Robert Englund, in character as Freddy Krueger. Each story would take place in Freddy’s hometown of Springwood, Ohio. Would the show be a dream or a nightmare? Let’s find out!
Episode 1.1 “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
(Dir by Tobe Hooper, originally aired on October 9th, 1988)
Freddy Krueger has become such a familiar and popular figure that I think it’s sometimes forgotten that, when he first appeared, he was truly a horrifying character. He was a child molester and a serial killer, one who escaped legal justice only because someone forgot to read him his rights when he was arrested. He was killed by the citizens of Springwood, Ohio, set on fire in the same boiler room where he killed his victims. Yes, he was brutally murdered and yes, the respectable people who murdered him covered up their crime. At the same time, what would you do if a monster like Freddy was loose in your town and stalking your children? “I’m burning in Hell,” Freddy says and that’s exactly what he deserved.
How did Freddy Krueger then become an oddly beloved pop cultural icon? Some of that was undoubtedly due to his one-liners, which tended to be a slightly better than the typical slasher film banter. If Freddy was pure evil in the first three NightmareonElmStreet films, he became more a homicidal prankster as the series continued. I think another reason why Freddy became popular is because the actor who first played him, Robert Englund, himself always comes across as being such a nice guy. Unlike the personable but physically intimidating Kane Hodder, who looked like he could kill you even when he wasn’t playing Jason Voorhees, Englund always comes across as being slightly nerdy and very friendly. He’s the neighbor who you would trust to get your mail while you’re on vacation. If Englund hadn’t been cast as Freddy Krueger in 1984, he probably would have spent the 90s playing quirky programmers and hackers in tech thrillers. The thing with Robert Englund is that seems to have a good sense of humor, he’s at peace with his place in pop culture, and he always seem to be having fun. (In his autobiography, he even jokes about something that fans had been laughing about for years, the fact that the female lead in A Nightmare In Elm Street 2 looked almost exactly like Meryl Street.) Those are qualities that bled over into Freddy.
As a result, Freddy became popular enough to host his own horror anthology. The premiere episode of Freddy’sNightmares open with Englund, in full Freddy makeup, telling us that we’re not about to see one of our nightmares. Instead, we’re going to see his nightmare. The episode gives us Freddy’s origin story, starting with Freddy getting off on a murder charge on a technicality and ending with Freddy getting bloody revenge of the police chief (played by Ian Patrick Williams) who set him on fire.
By almost any standard, it’s a disturbing story. We open with Freddy on trial and we hear details about an 8 year-old boy that he left in a dumpster. After the charges against Freddy are dismissed (damn those Carter judges!), Freddy happily gets into an ice cream truck and later, the police chief has a vision of the same truck coming straight at him. After getting set on fire, Freddy doesn’t waste any time coming back and using his razor-blade gloves to slash his way to vengeance. I think what’s particularly disturbing about this episode is that the police chief is not a bad guy. He arrested Freddy as Freddy was trying to attack his twin daughters. Throughout the episode, Freddy — in both life and death — makes it clear that he’s coming for the man’s daughters. And in the end, Freddy will probably get them because their father fell asleep in a dentist’s chair and got his mouth drilled by Dr. Krueger.
Agck! That’s disturbing stuff. Of course, it would be even more disturbing if the show’s special effects and gore were anywhere close to being a realistic as what was present in the movies. The show itself looks remarkably cheap. I would say it almost looks like a community theater production of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Director Tobe Hooper (of TexasChainsawMassacre fame) manages to wring a few jump scares out of the material and a scene where we see one of Freddy’s courtroom fantasies is genuinely horrifying but, for the most part, the budget is low enough that the viewer can safely say, “It’s only a TV show, it’s only a TV show….” In the end, it’s very much an 80s TV show, right down to the oddly gratuitous scene where the police chief suddenly imagines the dental hygienist in her underwear.
Where will Freddy’sNightmares lead us? We’ll find out. I’m sure it will be bloody, wherever it is!
Through the Shattered Lens 