Tag Archives: review

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Micki’s in even more danger than usual as a desperate doctor uses a magic syringe to try to find a cure for his daughter.  This is also our final episode of Friday the 13th for October.  Can you believe Halloween is right around the corner?

Episode 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

(Dir by Armand Mastroianni, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

John Cusack plays Lane Meyer, an artistic high school student who is stunned with he is dumped by….

Oh wait, sorry.  Wrong Better Off Dead.

This Better Off Dead tells the story of Dr. Warren Voss (Neil Munro), who lives in an isolated mansion with his pre-adolescent daughter, Amanda (Tara Meyer).  Amanda has a disease that makes her violent and dangerous.  She attacks almost anyone who comes near her, including her own father.  Dr. Voss believes that he has finally found a cure for her condition and, if he’s right, he’s convinced that he can cure all violent behavior.

Unfortunately, the cure is a bit extreme.  Dr. Voss starts out by bringing prostitutes to his mansion and then using a silver syringe to extract their brain fluid, which he then injects into his daughter.  This temporarily calms down his daughter but it turns Voss’s unwilling donors into violent maniacs.  Voss claims that he’s doing all of this for the greater good and he’s only using donors who would be better off dead.  But, as the episode unfolds, it becomes clear that Voss’s good intentions can’t hide his own sadistic streak.

The syringe once belonged to Jack the Ripper and, as you definitely already guessed, it’s a cursed object.  After a friend of Micki’s becomes one of Voss’s victims, Micki is herself kidnapped and becomes Voss’s latest donor.  When Jack and Ryan show up to save the day, they not only have to battle Voss.  They also find themselves attacked by Micki.  And Micki, due to the experiments and perhaps also due to the resentment that anyone would feel over having to put their lives on hold to search for cursed antiques, proves to be a fierce opponent.

Fear not, of course.  Things are resolved.  Micki is saved and, at the end of the episode, she is slowly recovering from her trauma.  Voss is attacked and killed by his own daughter.  Ryan wonders about whether or not Voss could have eliminated violent behavior if he had been allowed to continue his experiments.  Jack says that it’s not worth wondering about.  I agree.  Leave Micki alone!  Better the whole world suffer than one redhead be inconvenienced, say this proud redhead.

Director by Armand Mastroianni, this was a really good episode.  Both Neil Munro and Tara Meyer gave good performances as the doctor and his daughter and Robey, who has often felt underused on this show so far, got a chance to show off her own dramatic abilities.  As for the question at the heart of the episode, I agree with Jack.  The cost outweighs the benefits.  Friday the 13th deserves a lot credit, though, for seriously considering the issue.  This was an episode that was both creepy and intelligent.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second-to-last episode of T and T is all about the Czar of Canadian Surf Guitar!

Episode 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 19th, 1990)

A fat bald man named Willie (Gordon Masten) walks into Decker’s gym and tells Turner that he needs helps getting into shape.  Turner looks at Willie and says, “That’s a lot to take off, brother.”  Willie explains that he’s planning on making a comeback.  “A come back from what?”  Turner growls.  Willy reveals that he’s actually Wild Willy, the Czar of Canadian surf guitar!

T.S. Turner has never heard of Wild Willy but Decker is a huge fan.  He’s even written a song called Surf Cincinnati, in tribute to his hero.  However, Decker points out that Wild Willy died years ago in a plane crash in Brazil.  Willy says that his manager convinced him to fake his own death as a way to push up record sales.  Willy says that he’s spent the past two years lost in the Brazilian jungle.  (So how did he get so fat?)  Decker believes him but Turner is skeptical.

But, after Wild Willy tries to break into his old house to see his wife Francine (Terri Hawkes) and confront his manager, Big Steve (Nigel Bennett), Turner starts to change his mind.  Big Steve claims that this Wild Willy is an imposter but, after Willy is nearly killed by a miswired electric guitar, Turner does some digging and discovers that Big Steve is about to sign a record deal to release all of Wild Willy’s previously unreleased material.  “Willy is worth more dead than alive!” Terri exclaims.

Fear not.  It all works out.  Big Steve is defeated by Turner, Willy, and the power of rock and roll.  Wild Willy doesn’t lose any weight but he still makes a comeback.  He also steals Decker’s song and turns it into a hit.  Decker is heart-broken but Terri says, “That’s rock and roll!”  Hey, Terri — you’re a lawyer.  Maybe you could help Decker file a lawsuit as opposed to just making fun of the poor guy?  I mean, it seems like a good idea to me but what do I know?

This episode felt very familiar.  People were always wandering into Decker’s Gym and claiming to be someone famous.  The main problem with this particular episode is that Wild Willy was such an annoying and over-the-top character that it was hard to really care about whether or not he made his comeback or not.  Add to that, why is Decker writing songs about Cincinnati when it’s totally obvious that T and T takes place in Canada?

Next week …. it’s the final episode of T and T!  How will the saga end?

Bonus Song of the Day: The Love Boat, performed by Jack Jones

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

It’s not a horror song but, considering the amount of hours that I’ve devoted to The Love Boat over the last two years, there was no way that I couldn’t take a moment to acknowledge Jack Jones, the singer who sang the show’s iconic theme song.  Jones passed away on Wednesday at the age of 86.  But his voice will live on.

Now, let’s set sail for adventure….

Horror Film Review: Tormented (dir by Bert I. Gordon)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Tom Stewart killed me!” shouts the spirit of Vi Mason (Juli Reding).

Technically, it’s debatable whether or not Tom Stewart (Richard Carlson) actually killed Vi.  As is seen during the opening moments of 1960’s Tormented, Vi actually slipped and was clinging onto the lighthouse’s balcony for dear life before she fell to her death on the rocks below.  Tom didn’t push her and he didn’t force her to fall.  However, Tom did refuse to pull her up.  After she fell, he ran into the ocean and thought he had dragged back to safety.  But then it turned out that he was just dragging around a bunch of seaweed.

To a certain extent, Tom is glad to be done with Vi.  Vi was his ex-girlfriend and she was determined to keep Tom from marrying the rich and innocent, Meg (Lugene Sanders).  Meg’s father (Harry Fleer) already hates Tom because he’s not only a pianist but he’s also a jazz pianist!  Still, Meg loves Tom and, in a somewhat disturbing way, Meg’s little sister, Sandy (Susan Gordon), seems to be kind of obsessed with Tom as well.  “Why can’t I get married!?” Sandy demands.  BECAUSE YOU’RE LIKE TEN, YOU LITTLE BRAT!

Still, it’s not helping Tom that he keeps hearing Vi’s voice and seeing her ghost.  Everyone in the village think that Tom is acting strangely but they dismiss it as pre-wedding jitters.  (And, of course, his future father-in-law just assumes that Tom is being weird because he’s one of those jazz pianists.)   If it wasn’t bad enough that Tom is having to deal with Vi’s ghost, he’s also got a hepcat blackmailer named Nick (Joe Turkel).  Nick was hired to take Vi out to the island where Tom lives.  When Vi doesn’t return to pay him, Nick goes to Tom for the money.  When Nick overhears that Tom is about to marry a rich woman, Nick decides that he needs even more money.

Joe Turkel was one of the great character actors.  A favorite of Stanley Kubrick’s, he appeared in Paths of Glory and later played Lloyd the Bartender in The Shining,  Turkel also played Eldon Tyrrell in Blade Runner, in which he made the mistake of talking down to Rutger Hauer’s Roy.  In the role of Nick, Tukel is the best thing to be found in Tormented.  Turkel delivers all of his dialogue with a wonderfully insolent attitude.  He’s the type of character who, in the style of Robert Mitchum in Cape Fear, refers to everyone he meets as “Dad.”  He’s a lowlife and criminal but he’s got the spirit of Kerouac and Cassady in him and it doesn’t take him long to see straight through Tom.

Tormented was directed by Bert I. Gordon, who was best-known for his movies about giant monsters.  There aren’t any monsters in Tormented but there is a really shrill ghost and a truly unlikable protagonist.  There’s a lot flaws to be found in this film but Joe Turkel makes up for a lot of them.  And the scene where Vi’s ghost objects to Tom’s wedding is a lot creepier than it really has any right to be.  This is probably the best film that Bert I. Gordon ever directed, which does not necessarily mean its a good film.  Bert I. Gordon was still Bert I. Gordon.  But Tormented is definitely entertaining.

Horror On The Lens: Carnival of Souls (dir by Herk Harvey)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, there’s less than a week to go until Halloween and, traditionally, this is when all of us in the Shattered Lens Bunker gather in front of the television in Arleigh’s penthouse suite, eat popcorn, drink diet coke, and gossip about whoever has the day off.

Of course, after we do that, I duck back into my office and I watch the classic 1962 film, Carnival of Souls!

Reportedly, David Lynch is a huge fan of Carnival of Souls and, when you watch the film, it’s easy to see why.  The film follows a somewhat odd woman (played, in her one and only starring role, by Candace Hilligoss) who, after a car accident, is haunted by visions of ghostly figures.  This dream-like film was independently produced and distributed.  At the time, it didn’t get much attention but it has since been recognized as a classic and very influential horror film.

This was director Herk Harvey’s only feature film.  Before and after making this film, he specialized in making educational and industrial shorts (some of which we’ve watched on this very site), the type of films that encouraged students not to cheat on tests and employees not to take their jobs for granted.  Harvey also appears in this film, playing “The Man” who haunts Hilligoss as she travels across the country.

Enjoy Carnival of Souls!

And remember, don’t stop for any hitchhikers!

Horror Song of the Day: Main Theme From Prince of Darkness by John Carpenter

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror song of the day comes from the great John Carpenter!

Here is the main theme from his criminally underrated 1987 film, The Prince of Darkness.  Carpenter is really fortunate in that he not only has a vision but he also has the talent to create the music to go along with that vision.

Music Video of the Day: The Valley by Bill Wyman and Terry Taylor (1985, dir by Michele Soavi)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s music video of the day is for an instrumental piece that was composed by Bill Wyman and Terry Taylor for Dario Argento’s 1985 film, Phenomena.

Put together by Michele Soavi, this music video features not only scenes from the film but also clips of Dario Argento directing both Jennifer Connelly and Fiore Argento.  Soavi, of course, went on to have a directorial career of his own, directing four classic horror films before stepping away from feature films to take care of his ailing son.  Soavi has since returned to directing, though most of his subsequent work has been for Italian television.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.22 “Sail Away”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan helps a novelist get in touch with his long-passed muse.  He also helps him repair his relationship with his grandson before it’s time to move on.

Episode 2.22 “Sail Away”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 2nd, 1986)

Two novelists travel to a remote island.

Frank Worton (Lew Ayres) grew up on the island and was inspired to write a series of paperback romances based on his love for a girl named Jenna.  Sadly, Jenna died when Frank was a teenager and his books were his way of trying to get continue their relationship, if just in his imagination.

Todd Worton (David Einser) is Frank’s grandson.  Todd writes 3,000 words a day and is very strict about his routine.  He’s never written anything as successful as his grandfather’s pulpy romances and he feels that his grandfather has never respected his work.  What Todd doesn’t realize is that Frank feels the same way about him.

When they travel to the Island, Frank starts to act strangely.  He moves into the abandoned house where Jenna lived and claims that it still looks the same as it did when he was a young man.  At one point, he thinks that he sees Jenna walking along the beach.  Is he going senile or is he being haunted by a ghost?

Or is he being prepared for death?  Jonathan and Mark are running a ferry service, taking people to and from the Island.  (I can understand Jonathan knowing how to do all of this, as he’s an angel.  But how does Mark casually go from job to job?  That man’s resume must be a mess at this point.)  Just as he did with Eli Wallach a few episodes ago, Jonathan is preparing Frank to move on.  By the end of the episode, Frank is boarding a sailboat and heading off with his beloved Jenna.  But not before Todd reads the last novel that Frank wrote about Jenna and Frank reads the novel that Todd wrote about him.  The two finally make peace and Jonathan, in voice-over, tells us that both books became best sellers.

Awwww!  What a sweet episode.  This episode is largely a showcase for Lew Ayres and he definitely delivers, giving a heartfelt performance as a man haunted by his past.  If you don’t cry when he gets on that boat, you don’t have a heart and you might want to get that checked out.  You need a heart to live or so they tell me.

In the end, this is an episode that will make you want to sail away.  And while Highway to Heaven has never exactly been known as a subtle show (and I imagine that was by design), I am somewhat impressed at the restraint it must have taken to not include Styx’s Come Sail Away on the soundtrack.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 3.19 “The Gift” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode, a fake fortune teller appears to develop actual psychic abilities, just in time to see her son committing an unspeakable crime in the future.

This one has an interesting cast.  Mario is played by Scott Marlowe, who was Italian despite his name and who was apparently a major contender for the role of Michael Corleone in The Godfather, back when the film was still envisioned as being a low-budget B-crime film.  Also keep an eye out for Joe Turkel as Mario’s friend.  Turkel later played both Lloyd the Bartender in The Shining and Eldon Tyrrell in Blade Runner.

The episode originally aired on January 31st, 1961.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Reverend (dir by Neil Jones)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

At the start of 2011’s The Reverend, the Devil (Rutger Hauer) pulls up in front of a luxurious hotel.  He gets out of his limo, enters the hotel, and finds God (Giovanni Lombardo Radice) sitting at his desk, surrounded by armed priests.

God asks the Devil what he’s been doing.  The Devil says he’s been traveling the world and tempting men to do evil.  The Devil says that he wants permission to ruin the life of one man who is virtuous and God-fearing, saying that the man will reject his faith as things get worse and worse.  God agrees, as long as the man is not killed….

Does this sound familiar?  Yep, this is yet another adaptation of the Book of Job.  Or, I should say, this film pretends to be an adaptation of the Book of Job.  The nameless Reverend (Stuart Brennan) is a God-fearing man whose life goes downhill after he’s bitten by a vampire.  That said, there’s really not much of a comparison to be made between the Reverend and Job.  Job lost everything, including his land and his family and the majority of his friends.  The Reverend doesn’t really have any friends to lose and he actually gets better at his job after he is turned into a vampire and proceeds to take out his village’s criminal element.

In fact, the entire prologue between God and the Devil feels as if it was tacked on at the last minute.  It really doesn’t connect to the rest of the film and we certainly don’t learn whether it was God or the Devil who won the bet.  Hauer and Radice only appear in that one scene and then they are never heard from again.  That’s a shame because, to be honest, the only reason I watched this movie was for the chance to see Hauer and Radice together.  They were both incredible character actors and tragically, both of them are no longer with us.  Hauer passed away in 2019 and Radice died last year.  Neither one of them looks particularly healthy in the prologue, though it is nice to see the two of them sharing the screen together, albeit for just a few minutes.

As for the rest of the film, it did have potential.  There’s a lot of blood spilled and that’s always a plus when it comes to a vampire movie.  Doug Bradley gives a good performance as the Reverend’s enigmatic superior.  Stuart Brannen is himself likable enough as the Reverend and the scene where he’s first bitten has a kinetic energy to it that briefly gave me some hope for the rest of the film.

Unfortunately, with the exception of the aforementioned scenes, The Reverend is a rather slow movie and one that never succeeds in building up any sort of narrative momentum.  (I guess that’s a polite way of saying that it’s kind of boring.)  As a character, The Reverend is likable but he’s never compelling and the film ends on a rather anticlimactic note.  The film had potential but sadly, most of it went unrealized.