Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.6 “Shadows In The Dark”

Posted on November 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett loses it!

Episode 3.6 “Shadows In The Dark”

(Dir by Christopher Crowe, originally aired on October 31st, 1986)

Crockett and Tubbs are assigned to work with Lt. Ray Gilmore (Jack Thibeau) in investigating a series of burglaries. The burglar has broken into several houses. Each time, he eats whatever meat is in the house, he draws a picture on the wall, and then he steals a pair of pants. Gilmore is convinced that the burglar is working his way towards doing something even more serious and deadly.

Crockett and Tubbs soon discover that Gilmore is suffering from intense burnout. Years spent getting inside the minds of burglars and working nights have left Gilmore angry and erratic. When Gilmore finally snaps and starts shooting an icebox, Crockett and Tubbs assume that the investigation is over. Instead, Castillo informs them that, with Gilmore now committed to a mental hospital, they will now be in charge of the investigation.

Soon, Crockett finds himself becoming just as obsessed as Gilmore. He starts staying up late. The few instances in which he does sleep, he’s woken up by intense nightmares. Crockett becomes obsessed with the mysterious burglar, to the extent that Castillo and the rest of the Vice Squad start to worry that he’s losing his mind. In the end, Crockett does manage to figure out what house the Shadow (Vincent Caristi) will be targeting next. Both the Shadow and Crockett break into the house at the same time, leaving the homeowner terrified as the two men fight.

“I’m a cop! I’m a cop!” a desperate and wild-eyed Crockett shouts at her while holding up his badge.

This was a dark episode, one that played out more like a mini-horror movie than a typical episode of Miami Vice. (Appropriately, this episode aired on Halloween and was clearly made with the scary season in mind.) While I do think Crockett’s descent into madness happened a bit too quickly, I can’t deny that Don Johnson did a great job as the unhinged Sonny Crockett. When he desperately yelled “I’m a cop!,” it was obvious that he was trying to convince himself as much as the poor woman who owned the house. Though this episode was definitely a showcase for Don Johnson, Edward James Olmos did get plenty of opportunities to employ the Castillo stare as Crockett grew more and more unstable. Finally, Vincent Caristi was truly frightening as the Shadow.

Interestingly enough, the episode’s plot is similar to Manhunter, which came out earlier that year. The episode even features a scene where Crockett, Tubbs, and Gilmore visit a former burglar so that they can get his insights on their current prey. (Manhunter, of course, was the first film to feature Dr. Hannibal Lecter being consulted about a serial killer.) Miami Vice‘s producer and creator, Michael Mann, directed Manhunter and, though he didn’t direct this episode, it’s clear that Shadow In The Dark was meant to be a bit of an homage to the film.

Season three has, so far, been a bit uneven but this was a good and offbeat episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

Posted on October 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s a rare Tubbs episode!

Episode 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired October 17th, 1986)

As Switek puts it, Tubbs has been walking on air for two weeks. He’s got a new girlfriend, a waitress at a hot Miami restaurant. Unfortunately, a shoot-out at that restaurant leaves her dead. Though Crockett thinks that Tubbs is still too close to the case to be trusted to investigate, Tubbs insists on being involved and Castillo agrees. (Castillo, at times, just seem to automatically do the opposite of whatever Crockett suggests.)

The shoot-out happened as a result of a drug deal that went down in the state prison. Using the name Cubero, Tubbs goes undercover as a recently transferred prisoner. He enters the prison as his usual cool and collected self. He’s promptly beaten up by the Aryan Nations. Fortunately, since this is a television show and not The Shawshank Redemption, beating him up is the only thing the Aryans do to Tubbs.

Tubbs is being targeted by all the prisoners, from the Aryans to the Muslims. But when words get out that he’s a big-time drug dealer, Commander Fox (Keven Conway) makes a deal with him. If Tubbs keeps Fox and his men supplied with drugs, Tubbs (or Cubero) will be kept safe.

Unfortunately, when Switek, Zito, and Trudy go the prison to see Tubbs, a prisoner recognizes them. Tubbs’s cover is blown. Crockett wants to go into the prison to save him but Castillo points out that everyone in the prison knows that Crockett is a cop. (Tubbs has been Crockett’s partner for three years now so why did Castillo assume no one in the prison would be able to make him?) Castillo goes into the prison to save Tubbs from both the guards and the prisoners. The episode ends with Castillo gunning down a few guards and saving Tubbs’s life. Way to go, Castillo! The main lesson here seems to be that Castillo would rather risk of his own life than depend on Crockett for anything.

This was …. well, this episode was okay. The plot was nothing special. For all the talk about how Florida’s state prison was the most dangerous place in the world, it actually came across as being a rather mild place. Tubbs got beaten up and he got threatened but he didn’t get shanked and or any of the other things that one tends to associate with prison. The prison guards were not the most intimidating or interesting villains to appear on Miami Vice, even though one of them is played by a young Laurence Fishburne.

(This episode all features a youngish Ron Perlman, playing a good guy who I kept expecting to turn out to be a bad guy because he was being played by Ron Perlman.)

In the end, this episode was a bit forgettable, though it did allow the often-underused Philip Michael Thomas a chance to have the spotlight for once. He does a good job, even if he doesn’t get to bust out his fake Caribbean accent.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.3 “Killshot”

Posted on October 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, another friend of Crockett’s is in trouble!

Episode 3.3 “Killshot”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on October 10th, 1986)

Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover as Burnett and Cooper to take down drug lord Morales (Roger Pretto). Morales is one of the most powerful drug lords in Miami but he’s still not connected enough to know that Burnett and Cooper are undercover cops. I know that I bring this up nearly every time I write about this show but it just baffles me that Crockett and Tubbs are somehow still able to maintain their covers despite the fact that those covers have gotten blown in numerous episodes and Crockett makes no effort to act any differently when he’s pretending to be Burnett. At least Tubbs uses his fake Jamaican accent whenever he’s pretending to be Cooper. Crockett doesn’t even bother to change his suit before pretending to be Burnett.

That said, they’ve somehow managed to keep Morales from discovering that they’re cops. So, Morales instead focuses on manipulating a customs agent, Frank Ariolla (Carlos Cestero). Frank’s brother, Tico (Fernando Allende) is an up-and-coming jai alai player. (That’s the sport, prominently featured in Miami Vice‘s opening credits, in which the players use a wicker to both catch and launch a ball.) However, Tico also has a raging cocaine problem. In fact, the drug often leaves him impotent. When a prostitute suggests that Tico might not be attracted tp women, Tico goes crazy and blacks out. When he wakes up, the prostitute appears to be dead and madam Isabel Batista (Maria Duval) says she’ll protect Tico for a price. Frank has to work as a double agent or Isabel and Morales will send a tape of Tico attacking the prostitute to the police.

(For the record, the prostitute was only pretending to be dead as a part of a plot to frame Tico. But then Isabel had her killed for real.)

Trying to protect his brother, Frank agrees to work for Morales. But when a guilt-stricken Tico makes a mistake during a match that leads to him getting killed when he’s stuck in the head by the ja alai ball, will Crockett and Tubbs be able to stop Frank from taking his own violent vengeance on both Morales and Isabel? As you probably already guessed, this is yet another Miami Vice episode the ends with a freeze frame and an off-screen gunshot as Crockett yells, “No!”

If there’s one thing that has stayed consistent over the first three seasons of Miami Vice, it’s that it does not pay to be a friend of Sonny’s. From Jimmy Smits getting blown up in the pilot to Ira Stone dying last week to Frank throwing his life away to avenge his brother in this week’s episode, anyone who has ever been close to Crockett seems to end up having terrible luck. I’m stunned that Tubbs has managed to survive for as long as he has.

As for this episode, Crockett and Tubbs both seemed to be sidelined in favor of the story of Frank and Tico. It’s always weird when Crockett and Tubbs become supporting characters on their own show. Carlos Cestero and Maria Duval both gave good performances, which is good because it helps to distract from the fact that Morales is a fairly dull villain and Tico is not a particularly compelling character. For the most part, this episode works best as a commercial for ja alai, which looks a hundred times more exciting than most sports. Certainly, its fast action and the constant danger of sudden death makes it the ideal sport for Miami.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.2 “Stone’s War”

Posted on October 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, another friend of Sonny’s gets killed.

Episode 3.2 “Stone’s War”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired on October 3rd, 1986)

Sonny Crockett’s old friend, journalist Ira Stone (Bob Balaban), returns to Miami and he’s in trouble once again.

The last time we saw Stone, he appeared to be dying as the result of being severely wounded by Col. William Maynard (G. Gordon Liddy). I guess Stone survived because this episode opens with him and a cameraman in Nicaragua, filming anti-Communist rebels opening fire on a village. They even gun down a priest! However, it turns out that the rebels have got some help from some men who appear to be American. Stone’s cameraman is shot. Apparently leaving him to die, Stone grabs the tape of the attack and then flees to Miami.

In Miami, Stone tracks down Sonny, who is reluctant to get involved with Stone. However, when it becomes obvious that some agents of the government are not only following Stone but also trying to assassinate him, Crockett changes his mind. It turns out that the men in Nicaragua do indeed work for Col. Maynard. Maynard makes a return appearance, showing off a necklace of ears that have been chopped off of communists in an attempt to get businessmen to invest in his army. This episode drops some very obvious hints that Maynard is now working for the U.S. government.

In their efforts to help Stone get his tape to the public, Crockett and Tubbs get a few people killed. Local reporter Alica Mena (Lonette McKee) is murdered after Maynard’s men break into her office to search for the tape. In the end, Stone himself is once again wounded by Maynard’s man and this time, he actually dies on-camera. As for Maynard, he once again boards a private plane and escapes. The episode ends on a properly cynical note, with Crockett listening to reports blaming the death of the priest on the Nicaraguan government.

Actually, this whole episode feels a bit cynical. On the one hand, this episode criticizes the American government for being so anti-communist that it tries to overthrow the governments of other counties. On the other hand, a good deal of the episode’s running time is devoted to showing off Sonny’s new car, a 1986 Ferrari Testarossa. There’s even an extended chase scene that seems to exist largely so the show can work in as many close-ups of Sonny changing gears as possible. It’s a cool car but just try to get one in Nicaragua, Venezuela, or Cuba. (Or, I should say, try to get one without being related to someone who is in power.)

Ira Stone was a bit more compelling in his previous appearance on the show. In this episode, Balaban’s performance is almost too low-key. It lacks the manic instability of his first appearance, in which Stone was portrayed as being almost as mad as Maynard. This time out, he’s just another independent journalist who is convinced the government is out to get him. Fortunately, G. Gordon Liddy returns to Maynard and takes so much obvious joy in the role that he’s fun to watch. As I mentioned when Liddy last appeared on this episode, my father had a “G. Gordon Liddy for President” bumper sticker. As far as Watergate felons are concerned, Liddy was certainly less annoyingly self-righteous and more honest about his amorality than John Dean has turned out to be.

As a whole, this wasn’t a bad episode. Like last week’s episode, it was serviceable but it still seemed to be lacking the spark that distinguished the show’s first two seasons. For the second week in a row, Miami Vice puts more emphasis on its guest stars than the main cast and, perhaps as a result, the main cast seems to largely be going through the motions. (Zito and Gina don’t even appear in this episode. Castillo is barely present, which is interesting considering that the character is supposed to have connections in U.S. intelligence that would have perhaps been a bit helpful this time around.) Still, it was good to see both Stone and Maynard return to the show and remind the viewers that the vice in Miami is often the result of conflicts happening elsewhere.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.20 “Payback”

Posted on September 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After taking a two-month hiatus, I think it’s time to finally get back to the reviews. Thank you for your patience, everyone. Now, let’s head to down to Miami for some Vice!

Episode 2.20 “Payback”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on March 14th, 1986)

A low-level drug dealer named Jesus Moroto (Roberto Duran) wants a meeting with the detective who arrested him and sent him to jail. When Sonny Crockett arrives to see what Moroto wants, Sonny is shocked when Moroto commits suicide in the visitation room.

Sudden and violent deaths are a recurring thing in Miami but the death of Moroto haunts Sonny. As Sonny explains to Tubbs, it doesn’t make any sense for Moroto, who was only looking at a few years in jail, to have killed himself. Sonny wonders why Moroto died in front of him. Tubbs suggests that Sonny instead focus on their current assignment, trying to get close to the elusive drug lord, Mario Fuente (played by famed art rocker, Frank Zappa). As a lot of drug lords do on this show, Fuente lives on a yacht and it’s next to impossible to see him. Using their undercover identities as Burnett and Cooper, Crockett and Tubbs have so far only been able to meet with Fuente’s second-in-command, Reuben Reydolfo (Dan Hedaya).

Crockett and Tubbs find themselves assigned to work with two DEA agents, one whom — Kevin Cates (Graham Beckel) — claims that he can get Crockett and Tubbs onto Fuente’s boat. Crockett and Tubbs are reluctant to work with anyone but it soon turns out that Cates is apparently better at his job than Crockett and Tubbs gave him credit for.

Except, of course, everyone’s got a secret. Before he went to jail, Moroto stole several million dollars from Fuente. It turns out that Internal Affairs is convinced that Crockett helped Moroto steal the money and Fuente, who knows that Burnett and Cooper are actually Crockett and Tubbs, believes the same thing. The only person who can truly prove that Crockett is innocent is Kevin Cates and that’s because he’s the one who stole the money!

It doesn’t matter that the twisty plot of this particular episode is not always easy to follow. It also doesn’t matter that this episode leaves you wondering just how exactly Crockett and Tubbs have managed to maintain their Burnett/Cooper personas for so long without everyone in Miami’s underworld figuring out the truth. (Personally, I wonder that after every episode.) This episode works due to the atmospheric direction of Aaron Lipstadt and the performances of Don Johnson, Edward James Olmos, Frank Zappa, and especially Graham Beckel. Beckel gives a performance that will keep you guessing at just who exactly Kevin Cates is working for and whether or not he can be trusted. That he makes Kevin into a somewhat likable character makes it all the more disturbing when he turns out to not be quite the honest law enforcer that he made himself out to be. If the main theme of Miami Vice often seemed to be that Crockett and Tubbs were fighting a war that there was no way to win, this episode shows why their work often felt so futile. In this episode, Crockett not only has to battle a drug lord but he also has to battle Internal Affairs. No one trusts anyone.

The episode ends on an ambiguous note, with Crockett technically cleared but still unable to truly prove his innocence. (Kevin Cates, the only man who can truly prove Crockett’s innocence, is naturally gunned down during the show’s final few minutes.) Crockett is warned that Fuente is still going to be coming after him. (Unfortunately, Zappa was in poor health when he filmed this episode and Fuente would never return.) This episode is Miami Vice at its most cynical and its most effective.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.16 “Little Miss Dangerous”

Posted on June 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The power has returned, my mood is better, and my wrist has healed. It’s time to get back to the reviews!

Episode 2.16 “Little Miss Dangerous”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on January 31st, 1986)

There’s a serial killer stalking the red light district of Miami, haunting cheap motels, dark alleys, and neon-lit sex clubs. Men are turning up dead all over the place, brutally stabbed and then set on fire. Occasionally, a crude drawing is left behind. Castillo announces that every member of the Squad will be working a 12-hour shift until the killer is brought to justice. He says that they may be looking for a pimp or a prostitute who is looking for revenge.

Of course, every prostitute knows and likes Sonny Crockett. And again, this leads to the question of how exactly Sonny is able to work undercover when everyone in Miami knows who he is. For that matter, all of the prostitutes also seem to know that Gina and Trudy are working Vice as well, despite the fact that Gina and Trudy’s regular gig to go undercover as high-priced escorts. How do these people ever succeed at going undercover? Everyone knows them! I guess that’s to be expected, though, when you’ve only got 6 detectives working Vice in a city as big as Miami.

Tubbs meets a Jackie (played by singer Fiona), a young runaway who swears that she’s 18 and who says that she’s happy working as a prostitute because her body is just a commodity. Tubbs becomes obsessed with protecting the spacey but seemingly innocent Jackie, especially after he becomes convinced that Jackie’s pimp, Cat (Larry Joshua), is the murderer. Except, of course, Cat isn’t the killer. Jackie is! When Tubbs takes Jackie to a safehouse (which, of course, is also an art deco mansion), she snaps. As Crockett tries to break down the locked front door and Cat crashes into the house on his motorcycle, Jackie starts a fire and approaches Tubbs. But, instead of killing the only man who hasn’t tried to use her body, Jackie instead holds a gun to her head. This is another episode that ends with an off-screen gunshot. Interestingly, we never see Crockett actually get into the safehouse to rescue Tubbs from the fire. Instead, the ending is abrupt and the viewer, while having no doubt that Tubbs will escape the fire, knows that Tubbs will now carry Jackie’s scars as his own.

What an unsettling episode. This was Miami Vice at its most surreal and dream-like, with almost all of the action taking place at night and both Fiona and Larry Joshua giving edgy performances as two self-destructive people who live in the shadows of a wealthy American city. For once, the entire Vice Squad gets in on the action, though Tubbs is clearly the one at the center of the story. This episode reminds us that Tubbs is not quite as cynical and emotionally closed-off as Crockett but maybe, for the sake of his sanity, he should be. Little Miss Dangerous is a journey into the heart of Miami darkness.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.15 “One Way Ticket”

Posted on May 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Canadians are coming!

Episode 2.15 “One Way Ticket”

(Dir by Craig Bolotin, originally aired on January 24th, 1986)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice opens with one of the most unintentionally hilarious shots that I’ve ever seen. The action starts at a fancy wedding. The daughter of District Attorney Richard Langley (Jon DeVries) is getting married. The cream and the crop of Miami society has turned out. The camera pans over all of the formally dressed men and women until it finally comes to a stop on Sonny, wearing his white suit, a blue t-shirt, and no socks. He’s attending the wedding Tubbs, who at least bothered to put on a dress shirt.

Seriously, Sonny …. it’s wedding! Would it kill you to wear a tie or maybe put on socks to go to a wedding? And, I know I bring this up every week, but how can Sonny continually convince every bad guy in Miami that he’s a drug dealer named Sonny Burnett when he’s doing stuff like attending the wedding of the District Attorney’s daughter? Does he think that no one is going to notice that the drug dealer who always wears the same white suit looks and sounds exactly like the cop who is always wearing the same white suit?

That said, I guess it’s good that Sonny and Tubbs are the wedding because, during the reception, a coked-up assassin named Sagot (Lothaire Bluteau) pulls a gun and kills not only Langley but also two bridesmaids who happened to be standing close by. Sagot manages to escape from the reception but, that night, Zito and Switek track him down to Miami’s hottest French Canadian nightclub, Le Lieu, and arrest him on possession charges.

Sagot is working for a French Canadian drug lord named Faber (Jean-Pierre Matte) and, as with all of Faber’s men, his attorney is Laurence Thurmond (John Heard). Thurmond was a good friend of Langley’s and it’s obvious from the start that he’s not comfortable with the idea of defending the men who killed him. Thurmond and Crockett also have a long history together. Crockett blames Thurmond for getting a case dismissed against someone who shot one of Crockett’s partners, though it sounds like Thurmond was just doing his job and Crockett is actually to blame for not following proper procedure while making his arrest. (Seriously, due process may be a pain in the ass but Sonny has no excuse for not knowing what’s going to happen when he violates it.) Crockett continually demands to know how Thurmond can live with himself. Thurmond, who likes to fly a private plane in his spare time, says that it’s not easy. Then again, Thurmond can afford his own airplane and a wedding suit so, even if it is difficult to live with himself, at least he’s living well. (And again, Sonny may not like it but everyone has the right to an attorney. Again, if you’re sloppy enough to not read someone their rights or to search someone’s house without probable cause, that’s on you and not on the person who pointed it out.)

As much as Crockett would love to spend all of his time harassing Thurmond, he has a case to solve. He wants to get revenge for Langley’s death. He also wants to figure out who keeps sending him anonymous tips that are full of information that presumably only a defense attorney would know….

Lothaire Bluteau’s makes for a memorably unhinged villain and all of the evil French Canadians made for a nice change of pace from the show’s usual rogue’s gallery. That said, this episode was pretty much dominated by John Heard, playing the type of role that he played best. Heard’s morally conflicted attorney has a lot in common with the morally conflicted police detective that he later played on The Sopranos and Heard’s melancholy performance was a nice contrast to Don Johnson’s intensity. Full of twists and turns, this episode ended on a perfect note. In the end, Crockett may still not like Thurmond but he finally understands him.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.14 “Yankee Dollar”

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Sonny’s latest girlfriend gets involved in the drug trade.

Episode 2.14 “Yankee Dollar”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on January 17th, 1986)

It’s another night in Miami. Sonny Crockett is looking forward to driving out to the airport and picking up his latest girlfriend, a flight attendant named Sarah (Audrey Matson). For two years, Sarah has been working the Miami to Bogota to Paris and back route. She doesn’t make a lot of money but, as is typical for this show, she lives in a small but very nicely furnished house.

Unfortunately, Sarah dies shortly after Sonny picks her up. She goes into cardiac arrest, the result of a balloon of cocaine bursting inside of her. It turns out that Sarah was working as a drug mule, all so she could make a quick five grand and buy a used BMW.

Seriously, what are the chances that Sonny Crockett’s girlfriend would turn out to be a drug smuggler? Maybe she thought she was dating Sonny Burnett. Or maybe, like so many others on this show, she allowed her desire for the finer things in life — like a BMW — to lead her astray. This is one of the major themes of Miami Vice. In a society where conspicuous consumption rules, people will do anything to appear richer than they actually are.

When Sonny and Rico arrest Sarah’s brother, Tim (Clayton Rohner), they discover that he works for a wealthy businessman named Charlie Glide (Ned Eisenberg). Everyone knows that Charlie Glide (a great name, by the way) is involved in the drug trade but no one has ever been able to pin anything on him. In the past, Charlie avoided cocaine but he’s now looking to branch out. Sonny and Rico go undercover to try to bring Charlie down.

Of course, it doesn’t work. Charlie is smart enough to figure out that Sonny and Rico are trying to set him up. Even after Crockett and Tubbs drag him down to the police station and Charlie makes a deal for immunity in return for setting up two other drug dealers (Anne Carlisle and Pepe Serna), he still tries to double cross the cops. And even though the double cross doesn’t quite work, Charlie remains smug in his knowledge that he has immunity.

Except, of course, he doesn’t have immunity from all crimes. Earlier in the episode, Charlie’s executive assistant, Max Rogo (Austin Pendleton), used Charlie’s gun to execute Tim. Even though Crockett and Tubbs know that Max is the one who pulled the trigger and that Max is the one who decided to kill Tim, they still arrest Charlie for the murder. (Max was apparently killed in an earlier shootout so it’s not like he’s around to tell the truth.) “You changed the rules!” Charlie shouts as he’s dragged away.

This episode is Miami Vice at its most cynical. Crockett and Tubbs can’t get Charlie for the crime he committed so, instead, they set him up for a crime he didn’t commit. They did change the rules in that they decided they no longer have to follow them. The episode is full of characters so desperate for money that they’ll do just about anything, even smuggling a lethal drug in their body. Crockett can only watch helplessly as Sarah dies and, even as Charlie is taken away, there’s never any doubt that he’ll be replaced by someone else, the drug trade will continue, and more people will die just because they wanted to be able to afford a few extra things. Crockett and Tubbs are fighting a war that can never be won. Whatever victories they get ultimately feel hollow. Arresting Charlie won’t bring Sarah back and it won’t stop more innocent people from dying. Ned Eisenberg was wonderfully smug as Charlie Glide and Austin Pendleton was appropriately creepy as the always-smiling Max Rogo. This was a good episode, one that challenged the traditional cop show narrative. How long can one fight a losing war?

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.13 “Definitely Miami”

Posted on May 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Things get weird this week.

Episode 2.13 “Definitely Miami”

(Dir by Rob Cohen, originally aired on January 10th, 1986)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice is all about heat.

Seriously, it literally starts with a shot of a solar flares erupting off the surface of the sun. The camera then pulls away, letting us see what the sun looks like a cloudless blue sky. Finally, we find ourselves in Miami, where the sky is clear and a heat wave is raging. The camera focuses on the beads of sweat forming on skin. Every pastel shirt is stained with sweat and everyone is wearing sunglasses. When a drug dealer drives out to a quarry to meet connection, the heat seems to radiate out of the screen. When he’s shot and killed by Charlie Basset (Ted Nugent — yes, the musician and gun enthusiast), the dust that rises up looks like smoke rising from a burning planet.

Sonny and Rico are working undercover as Burnett and Cooper, hanging out at a hotel pool and complaining about the heat. Their target is Sergio Clemente (Roger Pretto) but Sonny is actually more interested in Callie (Arielle Dombasle), a beautiful blonde who he spots laying by the pool. Callie sees Sonny watching her and brings him a drink. Sonny introduces himself as Sonny Burnett.

Clemente is willing to turn himself in but only if he can see his sister, Maria (Kamala Lopez), and know that she’s still alive. Maria testified against her brother at a trial and is currently in the witness protecting program. Joe Dalva (Albert Hall), an arrogant Department of Justice official, is willing to bring Maria to Clemente, despite the fact that Maria indicates that Clemente used to sexually abuse her. Castillo thinks that it’s a terrible idea and tries to use a decoy. In the end, the government orders Castillo to do what Dalva wants. Castillo stands in a corner and stares down at the ground, which viewers of the show know is something Castillo does whenever he knows just how badly things are going to turn out. When the meeting finally happens, Tubbs, Castillo, and Davla can only watch as Maria pulls a knife and stabs her brother to death.

Sonny is not there to see Clemente die. Callie has told him that her husband is physically abusive and she wants Sonny — as Burnett — to meet him in a quarry, make a drug deal with him, and then kill him. Sonny suspects that he’s being set up and he’s right. Callie’s husband is Charlie and he only hits her when she tells him to. Callie seduces drug dealers and then Charlie kills them. Sonny, however, is smart enough to bring Zito with him to the quarry. During a shoot out, Charlie ends up dead. While the police dig up the quarry and find body after body, Sonny goes to the beach so that he can arrest Callie. When Sonny approaches Callie, she’s making a sand castle that looks exactly like the quarry. At first, Callie thinks that Sonny is Charlie but then she forces herself to smile when she sees that Charlie is dead. She assumes Sonny will be her new partner. Instead, Sonny calls in a police helicopter and Callie is taken into custody by two cops. Callie flirts with one of the cops while she’s being led to the helicopter.

And the sun continues to burn in the sky….

This was an odd episode, one that put far more emphasis on vivid and sometimes surreal imagery than it did on telling a coherent story. That’s not a complaint, of course. This episode had a dream-like intensity to it that I really appreciated. It was weird but entertaining, with the grinning Ted Nugent popping up like a gleefully evil goblin. Sonny is targeted because Callie thinks that he’s a drug dealer when he’s actually a cop. The idea of Sonny being able to maintain his undercover identity despite having personally arrested or killed a countless number of Miami drug dealers has always been one of the stranger elements of Miami Vice. This episode, though, it makes a strange sense that Sonny could be mistaken for a drug dealer despite always acting like a cop. That’s definitely Miami.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.12 “Phil the Shill”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Vice Squad goes after Phil Collins!

Episode 2.11 “Phil the Shill”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on December 13th, 1985)

Switek and Zito call in sick so that they can go to the taping of a silly game show called Rat Race. While Zito sits in the audience, Switek answers trivia questions about Elvis and competes in an obstacle course race with his spacey opponent (Emo Phillips). Hosting the show is the very effusive and very British Phil Mayhew (Phil Collins).

As we already know, Switek knows everything about Elvis. And he’s in better shape than Emo Phillips so, when it comes time for the obstacle course, he reaches and hits his buzzer first. But Switek’s buzzer doesn’t go off. Emo’s buzzer works and Emo proceeds to robotically recite a complex string of Elvis trivia.

To his horror, Switek realizes that the quiz show was fixed!

Switek and Zito decide that they want to take down Phil and reveal his con artist ways. Unfortunately, for them, the rest of the Squad doesn’t care. Crockett, in particular, is annoyed that Switek pretended to be sick to get a night off of work. However, it then turns out that Phil has hooked up with Sarah MacPhail (Kyra Sedgwick), the girlfriend and business partner of Tony Rivers (Michael Margotta), a drug dealer that Crockett has spent months trying to set up.

It’s time to call in Izzy and have him pretend to be an interior decorator so that Phil can be tricked into throwing a party that can be attended by …. SONNY BURNETT AND RICO COOPER! Listen, I know I mention that a lot but I just can’t let it go …. how are Sonny and Rico able to maintain their undercover identities when they’re constantly arresting major drug dealers and taking part in DEA busts? How come it never occurs to the criminals that dealer Sonny Burnett might have something in common with cop Sonny Crockett? Does no one ever notice that Sonny Burnett drives the same car and wears the same white suit as Sonny Crockett?

This was a bit of an odd episode. It was obviously written so that Phil Collins (whose In The Air Tonight set the mood for the entire series) could play Phil Mayhew. And while Phil Collins does not appear to have been an actor of amazing range, he still does a good job as the weaselly Phil Mayhew. The Phil scenes are played for humor while the scenes with Tony Rivers definitely are not. Tony is a violent sociopath who casually kills several people over the course of the episode. Scenes of Switek pouting about the game show feel awkward when combined with scenes of Tony machine gunning two drug dealers. Collins does a good job within his range and Michael Margotta is an energetic villain. However, the best performance in this episode actually comes from Kyra Sedgwick, who does a great job as someone who eventually turns out to be just as ruthless and dangerous her boyfriend.

This is a fast-paced and energetic episode, one that moves quickly enough that the viewer doesn’t really have time to consider the oddness of Phil Mayhew getting involved with the same drug dealer that Crockett happens to be investigating. Personally, I’m always happy when the members of the supporting cast get to do something more than just stand in the background. Switek and Zito are a good team.