Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.11 “Miami Squeeze”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the British are coming!

Episode 5.11 “Miami Squeeze”

(Dir by Michelle Manning, originally aired on February 17th, 1989)

There’s a new drug lord in Miami.  He’s a British dandy named Sebastian Ross (Robert Joy) and it’s impossible to take him seriously as a legitimate threat.   The show continually tells us how dangerous Sebastian is.  When the son (Daniel Villarreal) of anti-drug Congresswoman Madeleine Woods (Rita Moreno) attempts to double-cross Sebastian, Sebastian blackmails the Congresswoman and also tries to make Castillo look like a dirty cop.  Castillo ends up getting shot, all as a result of Sebastian’s schemes.

And yet, despite all of that, it’s impossible to take Sebastian seriously.  He’s just a ridiculous character, a drug dealer who dresses like an Edwardian gentleman and who carries a can and who speaks with a remarkably bad British accent.  (Robert Joy is himself Canadian.  I should mention that Joy is also a very good character actor.  He’s just miscast here.)  As a character, Sebastian threw off the entire episode.  When you include Rita Moreno acting up a storm, this episode almost felt like a self-parody.

Joey Hardin (Justin Lazard),  the undercover cop from Line of Fire, returned in this episode.  Sonny recruited him to go undercover in order to infiltrate Sebastian’s organization.  Considering that Joey was a returning character and that there was a lengthy scene of Sonny asking if Joey felt confident enough to put his life on the line, it was kind of surprising that Joey didn’t really do much in this episode.  One got the feeling that perhaps this was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a show featuring Joey as an undercover cop who could pass for a teenager.  There’s nothing wrong with that, of course.  Who wouldn’t want to keep a franchise going?  But Joey ultimately felt like a red herring and a bit of a distraction.

This episode was a misfire.

Holiday Film Review: Die Hard 2: Die Harder (dir by Renny Harlin)


During 1990’s Die Hard 2, John McClane (Bruce Willis) asks himself, “How can the same shit happen to the same person twice?” and he does have a point.

I mean, consider the situation.  In 1988, McClane spent his Christmas sneaking around a skyscraper and saving his wife from a group of sadistic mercenaries.  Two years later, John McClane spends his Christmas sneaking around an airport and saving his wife from a group of sadistic mercenaries.

There are a few differences of course.  In 1988, the mercenaries were only interested in stealing as much money as they could and each mercenary had his own properly ghoulish personality.  In 1990, the mercenaries are really more of a cult, led by the fanatical Col. Stuart (William Sadler).  And, along with trying to make some money, they are also trying to free General Ramon Esperanza (Franco Nero), a Central American drug lord and former CIA asset.  Despite the fact that the mercenaries are played by familiar actors (like Robert Patrick, John Leguizamo, Tony Ganois, and Vondie Curtis-Hall), none of them are quite as memorable as the henchmen that Alan Rickman commanded in the first film.  And while Sadler has charisma and makes a big impression during his first scene, his character is nowhere near as interesting or entertaining as Hans Gruber.  Franco Nero, it must be said, is as dashing as ever.  He really seems to be having fun in this movie.

A lot more people die in Die Hard 2 than died in the first Die Hard and the majority of them are innocent bystanders.  This isn’t like the first film, where Harry Ellis died because his coke-addled mind led him to believe that he could outsmart Gruber.  The victims in Die Hard 2 include a friendly church caretaker and over 200 passengers of an airplane that Stuart tricks into crashing on an airport runway.  The scene where the plane crashes remains disturbing no matter how many times that you see it and it truly makes you hate Colonel Stuart.  When the plane crashes, despite McClane’s futile efforts to warn the pilots, McClane sobs and it’s a powerful scene because it’s the first scene in which McClane has not had a quip or a one-liner ready to go.  In this scene, McClane fails to save the day and, for a few minutes, he’s helpless.  I usually end up crying with McClane.  Today, those tears are also a reminder of what a good actor Bruce Willis truly could be whenever he let down his defenses and allowed himself to be vulnerable on screen.

Die Hard 2 is usually dismissed as not being as good as the first movie and …. well, that’s correct.  It’s not as good but then again, few actions films are.  There’s a reason why Die Hard continues to be held in such high regard.  That said, Die Hard 2 is not bad.  The stakes are a bit higher and the action scenes a bit more elaborate, as you would expect from a film directed by Renny Harlin.  Bruce Willis plays McClane with the blue collar swagger that made his such an awesome hero in the first film.  Bonnie Bedelia and William Atherton also return from the first film and Atherton once again gets his comeuppance in a crowd-pleasing moment.  The cast is full of character actors, all of whom get a chance to make an impression.  Dennis Franz is the profane head of security who eventually turns out to be not such a bad guy.  John Amos is the major who eventually turns out to be not such a good guy.  Colm Meaney has a few heart-breaking moments as the pilot of the doomed airplane.  My favorite supporting performance is given by Fred Thompson, bringing his quiet authority to the role of tough but fair-minded Air Traffic Control director.  Watching Die Hard 2, it does feel as if the viewer has been dropped in the middle of these people’s lives.  Everyone seems real.  No one seems like a mere plot device.

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?  You bet it is!  But so is Die Hard 2 and it’s not a bad one.

A Movie A Day #98: Crime Zone (1989, directed by Luis Llosa)


Welcome to the future.   To quote Leonard Cohen, it is murder.

The police state of Soleil is engaged in perpetual war with the nation of Frodan.  In Soleil, being rich means living a life of carefree decadence while the poor struggle to survive from day to day.  Criminals are routinely executed on live TV and the government forces women to work as prostitutes, servicing only the rich and powerful.  When Bone (Peter Nelson) and Helen (Sherilyn Fenn) meet, they break the law by falling in love.  Desperate to escape to the legendary paradise of Frodan, Bone and Helen accept an offer from the mysterious Jason (David Carradine).  If Bone and Helen agree to commit a series of crimes, Jason will help them escape Soleil.  Bone and Helen soon become the two most wanted criminals in Soleil but Jason may not be what he seems.

David Carrdine’s performance is typically strange and Crime Zone has a few interesting ideas but the main reason to see the movie is because of the performance of a pre-Twin Peaks Sherilyn Fenn.  As Helen, Sherilyn Fenn is sexy, tough, and always better than the material that she was given to work with.

Executive produced by Roger Corman, Crime Zone was an ambitious project that did not have the budget necessary to reach the heights of Blade Runner, Mad Max, A Clockwork Orange, or any of the other dystopian science fiction films that it tried to rip off.  Crime Zone was filmed, on location, in Peru but that mostly for a budgetary reasons.  Since almost the entire movie was shot on cramped and dark sound stages, it could have just as easily been filmed in West Baltimore.  To its credit, Crime Zone has more on its mind than a lot of the movies that Corman executive produced in the 1980s but the main reason to see it will always be Sherilyn Fenn.