Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/9/25 — 2/15/25

Posted on February 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Abbott Elementary (Wednsesday Night, ABC)

I loved the science fair episode, which I watched on Hulu on Wednesday afternoon! Ava is my favorite character so I enjoy any episode that deals with her troubled past, her unique principal style, and the moments where she actually turns out to be good at her job.

I also enjoyed the latest episode of Abbott, with Ava helping out the other schools and Jacob giving an impassioned speech to the school board that will probably come back to haunt him at some point in the future. After the previous season’s somewhat uneven mix of episodes, it’s nice to see Abbott Elementary going strong again!

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday. It’s a holiday tradition! You can read Erin’s review here!

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I finished up season two this week. Onward to the season three next week!

Extracted (Monday Night, Fox)

In this new reality show, out-of-shape people go into the wilderness and try not to die. From a control room, their family members watch and debate whether or not to pull them out of the game. On Wednesday, I watched the first two episodes on Hulu. The show is ludicrous but it’s entertaining, as most good reality shows are. I would hope that my family would pull me out after the first ten minutes.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Finally leaving the ugly restaurants of New Orleans, Chef Ramsay helped out an ugly restaurant in Houston. Seriously, how does the show find these ugly places? This time, the restaurant owner got mad at Ramsay and even called him into the storeroom for a talk. Ramsay was still able to get through to her and save the restaurant. Yay!

Scamanda (Hulu)

On Tuesday, I watched the second episode of Scamanda, which revealed a bit about Amanda’s background and also her husband. The episode suggested that Amanda based her scam off of her husband’s stepdaughter from his first marriage and her very real battle with Leukemia. Not only does this show how twisted Amanda was but it also indicates that her husband was very much a part of her scheme. The second episode was marked improvement over the first. I’m looking forward to the third.

The Story Behind (Tubi)

I watched two episodes. One featured the story behind Beverly Hills 9o210. The other was the story behind Full House. Neither really told me anything that I didn’t already know.

Super Bowl LXI (Sunday Night, Fox)

The only thing more boring than the game were the commercials. A lot of people are making a big deal about Taylor Swift getting booed at the game. The Swifties are in an uproar but, honestly, it’s an American tradition to boo celebs at sporting events, especially ones who are only there because they’re dating a player. Taylor’s apparent shock at being booed has become a meme but it was actually a very relatable and human moment. I prefer Taylor’s “What’s going on?” to the celebs who either pretend to not to care or the ones who go into a rage mode the minute they have to deal with public opinion.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.6 “Takedown”

Posted on February 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Who cares? Roll the opening credits.

Episode 1.6 “Takedown”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on April 6th, 1996)

Three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in …. oh Hell. Where does this show take place? I know it’s in California but what’s the name of the town? Malibu? Is that it? Hold on, let me check with Wikipedia….

SANTA MONICA! That’s where this show takes place.

See, that’s the type of show that Pacific Blue is. I am now six episodes into this show and I’m still can’t tell you where it specifically takes place. It’s not that they haven’t mentioned that the show is set in Santa Monica. And considering that I even attended Saint Monica School for a semester, you would think that I would be able to remember it. But Pacific Blue is such a generic show that it’s difficult to really remember a thing about it. It fades from your memory within seconds of being watched. About the only thing that really sticks with the viewer about this show is how stupid everyone looks on their bicycles with their tight white shirts and their blue shorts. The fact that Rick Rossovich plays their leader with a perpetual air of grim determination only serves to make them seem even more ridiculous. Cops are supposed to look intimidating. That’s one reason why a lot of people don’t like them. These cops just look like the type of douchebags you dread getting stuck behind in traffic.

As for this episode, three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in Santa Monica. Somehow, they always manage to escape right before the cops show up. Maybe that’s because the cops are all on bicycles and they have to steer across crowded sidewalks without even having the benefit of a siren to tell people to get out of the way. What’s odd is that no one ever seems to notice the criminals until they pull out their guns. These are three extremely scruffy criminals, all of whom are clad in clothes that don’t appear to have been washed in days. Are you seriously telling me no one would notice that on the beach in San Diego or wherever this freaking show takes place?

If I was a store owner who got robbed at gunsight and who then called the police, nothing would piss me off more than having the bicycle cops respond. Seriously, you need a car to chase criminals! All the criminals have to do is wait for the bike cops to pull a muscle or ride over a stick in the middle of the road and then they’ll be home free. If I get robbed, give me the real cops!

TC gets upset when one of the criminals points a gun at him. Lt. Palermo encourages him to stop being stoic and get in touch with his feelings and …. oh, who cares? Freaking bicycle cops. While that’s going on, Chris takes a creative writing class and dates her professor (Zach Galligan). From what we hear of Chris’s literary efforts, she has no talent whatsoever. She was such a bad writer that I literally got angry while she reading her story. I wanted the professor to throw something at her. Also, Victor del Toro falls in love with a model (Krista Allen) and even gets a date with her, despite his dumbass bicycle.

Where does this show take place again? Malibu?

Anyway, this was just another episode about the most useless cops ever.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/2/25 — 2/8/25

Posted on February 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m one episode behind as far as Abbott goes. This week, I watched the golf course episode but I still need to watch the science fair episode. I’ll do it tomorrow before the Super Bowl. As always, the episode made me laugh. The show has done marginally better with the gentrification subplot than it did with the charter school storyline a few seasons ago.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I continuing to watch this creepy German show. This is the only show I’ve ever seen that’s actually held my attention while the characters discuss physics.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

And we have a winner! Kyle’s door open and he is the latest chef to win a season of Hell’s Kitchen. I did like Kyle but I have to admit that I lost interest in this season after both Brandon and Egypt were eliminated. I still can’t see Kyle as a head chef. Brandon had a bad night and Egypt lost an arbitrary contest but I still feel like either one of them would have been a better winner. That said, anyone who has ever tasted my cooking knows that I wouldn’t have even made it past the first 10 minutes of the first episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Congratulations to Kyle on his victory and on proving people like me, who were pretty dismissive of his chances at first, wrong.

King of the Hill (Hulu)

I watched the episode where Bill’s touchdown record was broken and, with Hank’s encouragement, Bill rejoined the high school team in an effort to win it back. “You the man, Bill …. don’t look down at your leg.”

Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, Tuesday Night)

Chef Ramsay was, again, in New Orleans this week. The New Orleans shows have been kind of boring. None of the restaurants have really been that appealing, either before or after their makeover. You have to wonder how many times Chef Ramsay is going to have to invite an ex-football player to come and convince people to do their job. It’s kind of funny how the only thing many of these restaurants really need is for a former member of the Saints to show up for five minutes.

After being bored with the trip to New Orleans, I hopped on Tubi and revisited the Amy’s Baking Company episodes from seasons 6 and 7. Now that was classic Ramsay chaos! I like it when Chef Ramsay is nice to the chefs on Hell’s Kitchen but, when it comes to Kitchen Nightmares, I just want him to rip the place apart!

Scamanda (Hulu)

On Wednesday, I watched the first episode of this NBC docuseries about a woman who pretended to have cancer and who swindled a lot of people out of a lot of money. It was an interesting episode. People pretending to be sick to get money from people is hardly a new phenomena but it was interesting to see not only how far Amanda took it but also how gullible people really were. (They really wanted to believe.) The film did have a few regrettable reenactments, including a truly risible one of a bunch of churchgoers literally throwing money at Amanda’s feet. Still, it’s an interesting story.

Watched and reviewed:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.5 “Out Of The Past”

Posted on February 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This show is proving difficult to review.

Episode 1.5 “Out of the Past”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on March 30th, 1996)

Look, I tried. I really did.

This episode should have fascinated me. It featured three storylines. Palermo was told take a vacation when it became obvious that a serial killer known as The Angel (Tim Thomerson) had returned to the beach and was targeting doctors. Palermo and The Angel had a history, with Palermo failing to capture The Angel during the killer’s previous spree. This time, The Angel tried to force a journalist (played by Barry Miller) to record his crimes for posterity.

Meanwhile, Chris and TC went undercover as guests at a hotel so that they could catch a thief and a peeping tom. Chris and TC pretended to be romantically involved and were so dedicated to maintaining the act that they ended up spending a good deal of the episode hanging out together in their underwear.

Finally, both TC and Del Toro were obsessed with catching a speeding biker who continually managed to outrun and outmaneuver them. Compounding their embarrassment was the revelation that the biker was a woman.

Mystery, empowerment, and lingerie. Those are three of my favorites things but this episode still managed to thoroughly bore me. I had to view it three times because I kept getting distracted whenever I tried to sit down and just watch the show. Admittedly, with my ADHD, my attention span is on the short side but still, this episode of Pacific Blue was remarkable in that, no matter what happened, I just didn’t care.

Why? Why can’t this show even work in a so-bad-its-good kind of way? The characters are just boring and interchangeable. The men are all grim and serious-minded and, physically, they’re all the same type. They’re all tall and lean and blandly handsome and none of them have any quirks or interests to really make them stand-out. The women are also bland and spend most of their time smirking at their male co-workers. Who are these people? Who cares?

Perhaps the biggest flaw with this episode and the show so far is that the members of the bicycle patrol just look dorky and they peddle around the beach. The worse thing is when they have to chase a suspect down a flight of stairs and they literally pick and carry their bicycles as they do so. It’s hard to take bicyclists seriously, even when they’re cops.

Watching the show, I kept thinking about the bicycle cops who used to patrol the campus where I went to college. No one took them seriously and everyone knew the experience of being yanked over by one of them and being asked, “You been drinking tonight?” when you were totally sober. It happened to me, one night, when an old ankle injury was acting up and I was walking with a slight limp. I was already feeling self-conscious about it and getting stopped when all I wanted to do was get home and rest my ankle didn’t help. The insistence that I must have been drunk or otherwise under the influence and also the assumption that I was obligated to stand around while the cops slowly talked to each other left me feeling violated. Whenever I see TC or Palermo sitting on their bikes with their oh-so serious “I am a badass” facial expressions, I remember every bad experience that I’ve ever had or I’ve ever seen someone else have with a cop.

My hope is that Pacific Blue, over the course of its run, eventually found a way to make its characters less annoying and more likable. (For instance, I don’t mind the cops on CHiPs because at least they’re entertaining.) I guess we’ll find out!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/26/25 — 2/1/25

Posted on February 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

My sinuses were really bothering me this week so I didn’t watch much, other than the shows that I review for this site. I mean, it was literally a struggle for me to look at a screen, whether it my phone, a laptop, or a television for more than a few minutes without getting a headache.

I did watch two more episodes of Dark with Case. This intriguing German show gets more and more creepy with each episode.

On Sunday, Jeff and I watched a football game. It was Taylor Swift’s team vs someone else. Taylor Swift won.

I watched Kitchen Nightmares. This week’s restaurant was boring. I’m hoping for another Amy’s Baking Company style fiasco.

And I watched Hell’s Kitchen. Really? They eliminated Egypt? First Brandon and then Egypt? Weakest final two ever!

Finally, I watched and reviewed Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Pacific Blue, The Love Boat, Monsters, Malibu CA, Highway to Heaven, St. Elsewhere, Friday the 13th, Welcome Back Kotter, and Check It Out!

And that’s it, thanks to my sinuses. Bleh!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.4 “Over The Edge”

Posted on January 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s been a murder but don’t worry. The bike patrol is here.

Episode 1.4 “Over the Edge”

(Dir by Cory Michael Eubanks, originally aired on March 23rd, 1996)

“I need some personal time!” TC announces to Lt. Palermo after TC’s childhood friend, Todd (Dave Oliver), washes up dead on the beach. It turns out that Todd was killed in a skydiving incident and TC doesn’t think it was an accident. Todd jumped out of 700 planes without dying so obviously something is up.

(Really? 700? Did he just spend a year jumping out of plane after plane? 700 is a HUGE number, especially when it comes to risking your life.)

TC’s partner, Chris, is shocked to discover that TC had a friend because apparently, he never mentioned Todd in the past. Well, Chris, this is only the fourth episode so it’s not like you two have been partners for that long. This is a weird episode because it assume that the audience has an emotional investment in TC despite the fact that we know next to nothing about him. We know that TC rides a bicycle. We know that he comes from a rich family. And we know he hardly ever smiles because being on the bicycle patrol is suuuuuuuuch an important responsibility. Otherwise, TC is just kind of a boring guy. I’m sorry his friend died because I’m sorry when anyone dies but other than that, I don’t really have any emotional connection to any of this.

Anyway, it turns out that Todd fell in with a bunch of Australian extreme athlete types and they shoved him out of an airplane without a properly working parachute. I’m sure there was a reason why but, for the most part, this episode is just an excuse for TC to look grim while doing the whole extreme sports thing. I remember that, when I was growing up, you’d always hear all this breathless talk about how someone was doing “extreme sports” but then it would just turn out they were riding a unicycle or rolling down a hill. Remember bike jousting, where people would joust while slowly riding bicycles and it looked totally stupid but everyone would still go, “Whoa!” while watching? That was dumb.

Speaking of dumb, I’m still having a hard time taking the idea of cops on bicycles seriously. Did the people who made this show not realize how stupid the cast looks rolling up and down the boardwalk in their crisp white shirts and blue shorts? Seriously, it’s hard to take them seriously. Baywatch was a dumb show but at least those red swimsuits were visually effective. The bicycle cops on Pacific Blue just look like idiots, no matter how fast they try to peddle.

This show just seems silly right now. I’ve got over a 100 episodes left to review so I hope things will get better.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/19/25 — 1/25/25

Posted on January 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are just a few (admittedly, very few) thoughts on what I watched this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Unlike the characters in Abbott Elementary, I’m not a fan of the American Labor Movement but I still enjoyed this week’s episode about a bus strike. The remote learning stuff was definitely the highlight of the episodes.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I are continuing to watch this German show on Netflix. It’s a very intriguing saga of time travel and murder.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Without Brandon in the competition, who cares? It seems kind of obvious that Egypt’s going to win.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Chef Ramsay saved another restaurant in New Orleans. That’s good and all but I still wouldn’t want to eat anywhere that’s been featured on Kitchen Nightmares. Once a mess, always a mess. At least, that’s the way that I view things as far as food preparation is concerned.

The Oscar Nominations (Thursday Morning, Hulu)

The nominations didn’t do much for me this year. Honestly, I have to wonder how long it’s going to be until ABC dumps the Oscars and the ceremony is reduced to just streaming on Hulu. It’s going to happen sooner or later.

The Presidential Inauguration (Monday, C-Span)

I’m thankful for C-Span. I was able to watch the whole thing without any commentary for either side.

I also watched and reviewed:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.2 “First Shoot”

Posted on January 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bicycle cops continue to expect to be taken seriously.

Episode 1.2 “First Shoot”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on March 9th, 1996)

It’s a busy time for the bicycle cops of Santa Monica.

Elvis (David Lander), the bicycle repairman who speaks with an indecipherable accent, is paranoid because a group of Bulgarian men are wandering the beach and asking if anyone knows where they can find him. It turns out that the men are not dangerous but instead, they are the members of Bulgaria’s Olympic bicycling team. They want Elvis to be their official team repairman. However, Elvis previously had an affair with the girlfriend of one of the Olympians so he declines the offers. He prefers the glamour of California.

Meanwhile, a pickpocket is robbing people on the boardwalk. When he makes the mistake of grabbing the wallet of an old Italian man named Mr. Tataglia (Joseph Campanella), Tataglia goes to Lt. Palermo and explains that he wants the wallet back because it contains a picture of his wife. He would consider it a matter of personal respect if Palermo retrieved the wallet and he promises to repay the favor. Fortunately, the brave bicycle cops do catch the pickpocket. Mr. Tataglia watches from a distance and nods. I guess Mr. Tataglia is meant to be a mobster. Believe it or not, not all Italians are in the Mafia. I’m a fourth-Italian and I’m fairly sure that side of my family is not mob-related.

While that’s going on, Chris and Del Toro ride their bikes out to a film set and provide security for a spoiled movie star named Scott Magruder (Bojesse Christopher). Chris is the one who has a crush on Magruder but it’s Del Toro who is seduced by the prospect of fame. When Magruder gives Del Toro a line in the movie, Del Toro has visions of movie stardom in his head. But then the scene gets cut. Sorry, Del Toro, looks like you’re just going to have to spend the rest of your life riding around the beach on a Schwinn like a dumbass. Scott later gets arrested in a bar fight but it turns out it was a publicity stunt. Chris is saddened to learn that celebs aren’t as likable in real life as they are in the gossip pages. Myself, I’m just wondering why Chris has gone from being the smart and driven character that she was in the pilot to being a total airhead just one episode later.

Finally, Cory and the bike cops help the real cops bust a group of drug dealers. Cory shoots an aspiring rapper named Rasheed (Jeremiah Birkett). Rasheed claims that he didn’t have a gun. Cory is determined to prove that he did. Apparently, this was the first time that Cory ever shot anyone. Strangely, it doesn’t seem to rattle her at all that she nearly ended someone else’s life. I mean, it seems like most people would have a more emotional reaction to nearly killing a man, even if that guy was a criminal with a gun. Cory, however, is cool and calm and kind of creepy about it. It’s established that Cory comes from a family of cops so maybe that’s why the shooting doesn’t faze her.

There was a lot going on in this episode. Actually, there was probably too much going on. This is only the second episode of the show and it’s not like any of the characters have really developed much of an individual personality. Everyone is still pretty much interchangeable. As a result, none of the action in this show carried much of an emotional impact. The characters are all still strangers to me.

Maybe things will improve next week.

(Seriously, let’s hope so! I’ve got a lot of episodes to make my way through before I’m done with Pacific Blue.)

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/5/25 — 1/11/25

Posted on January 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week as I waited for the snow to arrive.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

The idea of the dark and cynical It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossing over with the earnest Abbott Elementary sounds like something that shouldn’t work but, instead, it worked brilliantly. Dee becoming Janine’s best friend and then trying to steal away Gregory was brilliant. I was so proud of Charlie, learning how to read at a kindergarten level. Barbara is a wonderful teacher.

Check It Out (Tubi)

Look for my review later tonight.

Dark (Netflix)

As the snow fell in Texas, Case and I watched two more episodes of Dark. We’ll have to get around to reviewing this intriguing German show soon.

Degrassi High (Tubi)

Look for my review tomorrow!

Doc (Tuesday Night, Fox)

This is a new show about a doctor who has amnesia. I feel like this show is going to be limited by the fact that she’s going to have to get her memory back at some point. I watched the premiere but I don’t remember much about it. Maybe I’ve got amnesia!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Going Dutch (Thursday Night, Fox)

The second episode of Going Dutch, much like the pilot, didn’t do much for me. I doubt I’ll be watching the third episode.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

It’s black jacket time! I felt sorry for Amanda, who I would have kept over the eternally aggrieved Whit. That said, it’s pretty obvious that Brandon’s going to win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

You can read my review here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Kitchen Nightmares has returned for another season. Chef Ramsay is in New Orleans, helping terrible restaurants prepare for the Super Bowl. This week featured part one of the two-part season premiere. I think that the restaurant that Ramsay is trying to help is a lost cause but we’ll see what happens next week. Nothing kills my appetite quicker than a cockroach-filled episode of Kitchen Nightmares.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

You can read my review here!

Monsters (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

I started reviewing Pacific Blue this week. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this decision.

Shifting Gears (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Tim Allen will always be Buzz Lightyear to me and I like Kat Dennings but the first episode of their new sitcom didn’t do much for me. They really should just call it Last Auto Mechanic Standing.

Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (Thursday Night, Fox)

A bunch of middle-aged celebs are put through special forces training and are ridiculed when they drop out. Telling 50-somethings Stephen Baldwin and Denise Richards that they failed themselves by not completing the training feels a bit silly. Baldwin dropped out because he didn’t want to get hurt because it would cost him an acting job he had lined up. (As far as I can tell, that’s a totally understandable concern.) Richards was accused of being a princess because she didn’t want to drown. Unless the goal is to actually put together a unit of out-of-shape commandos, how about giving it a rest with the whole, “The Corp doesn’t want quitters!” routine?

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

You can read my review here!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on January 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last month, we finished up Baywatch Nights. For our next show, we have Pacific Blue, which was often described as being Baywatch On Bikes. Before watching the episode reviewed below, I had only seen one previous episosde of Pacific Blue. I was in Rome and the episode was dubbed into Italian.

As I sit here typing this, it is currently 32 degrees and windy outside. On Thursday, we’re supposed to get hit with ice and snow. Fortunately, on Pacific Blue, it’s forever summer! Let’s dive right in with the first episode!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Ralph Hemecker, originally aired on March 2nd, 1996)

Welcome to Santa Monica in the 90s!

The skies are sunny, the ocean is blue, everyone’s wearing a bikini or a swimsuit, and the cops are on bikes!

The pilot for Pacific Blue opens with Officers Victor Del Toro (Marcos A. Ferraez) and Cory McNamara (Paula Trickey) riding their bikes down the boardwalk and talking about how criminals and even citizens often don’t pay them enough respect because they’re on bicycles. And, to be honest, they do look pretty silly riding their bicycles with their grim “I am the Law” facial expressions. Judge Dredd would never be caught dead on a bicycle.

When Victor and Cory catch a couple of graffiti-spraying vandals, they get to show off what they can do with their bicycles. “They can run but we can fly,” Victor says as he takes off after the fleeing vandals. And …. no, sorry. The bikes still look dorky. I don’t care how many bad guys the bike cops capture. The dark shorts and the crisp white t-shirts and the Schwinn bicycles, none of it is intimidating.

Chris Kelly (Darlene Vogel) was once a hotshot Navy pilot until her eyesight dipped below 20/20 and she was discharged. (You have to have 20/20 eyesight to fly a plane? Well, I’ll add that to my list of things that I will never be allowed to do!) Chris joined the Santa Monica police force and found herself assigned to tell kids not to go off with strangers while wearing a milk carton costume. After Chris catches some drug dealers (again, while dressed up like a milk carton), she is transferred out of public relations and over to …. BIKE PATROL!

Her new boss, Tony Palermo (Rick Rossovich), explains that Chris will require three days of bicycle training before she’s officially a member of Bike Patrol. In one montage, Chris learns how to ride a bike like a …. well, I would say like a “badass,” except for the fact that she’s on a dorky Schwinn. She is then partnered up with TC Callaway (Jim Davidson), who orders her to lose the attitude when it comes to riding her bike. No one is too good for bike patrol!

TC’s girlfriend, Sandy (Cindy Ambuehl), thinks TC should get a job working for his wealthy father. TC’s younger brother agrees. But TC loves the beach. He loves chasing criminals. He loves riding his bike! TC was born to work with ocean in the distance and sand getting stuck in the spokes of his bike,

Speaking of criminals, someone has stolen Mayor Mickey Dolenz’s car. (Mickey Dolenz appears as himself.) The Bike Patrol takes down a bunch of car thieves and closes down their chop shop. It’s a standard cop show plot but keep in mind that this is just the first episode. The purpose of a first episode is to introduce all the characters and explain the premise of the show. And that’s what this pilot did so technically, this episode has to be considered a success.

The only problem — and I have a feeling that I’ll be coming back to this point frequently over the next two years or so — is that the Bike Patrol looks incredibly dorky. Pacific Blue was obviously meant to capitalize on the success of Baywatch but the thing with Baywatch is that, as incredibly dumb as that show could be, the slow motion running looked cool. The members of the Bike Patrol riding their bikes up and down the beach just look silly.

That said, the beach scenery was nice to look at and this show does seem like it might have the potential to be fun in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way. So, we’ll see what happens. By the end of this month, I’ll either be happy that I picked this show to review or I’ll be cursing my terrible judgment. We’ll find out soon enough.