Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.12 “The Big Spin”

Posted on April 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Bike patrol expands its roster, this week.

Episode 1.12 “The Big Spin”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on May 18th, 1996)

Bike patrol has a new recruit! Scott Kramer (Richard Joseph Paul) has been a cop for ten years and, for nine of those year, he had a perfect record. But lately, he’s became impulsive and too much of a risk taker. Bike patrol is his last chance! “I run things by the book,” Lt. Palermo says.

Chris is assigned to train Kramer and soon, the two of them are falling for each other. Chris explains that Kramer, like her, is a rebel who breaks the rule. One of the funnier things about Pacific Blue is that Chris is supposed to be a rebel who breaks the rule when she’s nothing of the sort. Instead, she just kind of gets annoyed and pouts every episode.

Anyway, it turns out that Kramer is terminally ill so he doesn’t care if he dies while taking down the two motorcycle bandits who have been robbing people all across town. And that’s a good thing because that’s pretty much what happens. The bandits are captured but bike patrol loses a recruit.

“The last thing he saw was you,” Palmero tells Chris and I think that was supposed to comfort her. Chris nods and then walks along the beach by herself.

Wow, it’s an edgy episode! Well, no, not really. It comes close to being an edgy episode. Richard Joseph Paul gives a pretty good performance as Kramer. But …. come on, folks …. they’re on bicycles! I’m sorry that I keep harping on this and, since this stupid show has like a gillion episodes, I imagine I’ll continue to harp on it in the future but bicycles are not edgy! The first season is nearly over and I still laugh whenever I see the bike cops hearing about a crime on their radio and then going, “Unit whatever responding.” I’m just imagining the dispatcher being like, “Oh no, bike patrol again.” Seriously, everyone on this show always has such a grim expression on their face and they’re determined to catch the bad guys but, again …. bicycles!

Anyway, season one comes to an end next week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.11 “The Phoenix”

Posted on April 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A serial arsonist is setting Malibu on fire so, of course, the bike patrol is called in.

Episode 1.11 “The Phoenix”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on May 11th, 1996)

Fires are breaking out all over Malibu. Whoever the arsonist is, he seems to be targeting a shady businessman named Curtis Bilson (Michael Cavanaugh). TC and Chris decide to start investigating the arsons themselves, even though neither one of them is in the arson division. “Bike patrol?” the arson detective asks, when he first meets them. However, because everyone respects Lt. Palermo, TC and Chris are allowed to investigate. Chris, being a former jet pilot, is naturally an expert on accelerants. “Smells like jet fuel.” Wow, really?

(Basically, this is the equivalent of allowing a school crossing guard to head up the search for a serial killer.)

A surfer named Suicide (Sam Hennings) insists that he saw the fire being set by The Phoenix, a legendary arsonist who the police consider to be dead. His real name was Willoughby (Tim DeZarn) and the official story is that he got caught in one of his own fires and his body was reduced to ash and that’s why he disappeared without leaving a trace behind. That seems awfully convenient and really doesn’t make much sense when you think about it but, then again, Malibu has their bike patrol investigating a serial arsonist. We’re through the looking glass here.

(Myself, I’m concerned by the fact that no one seems to find it weird that their source is nicknamed “Suicide.” I’m going to guess that’s a surfer thing but still, I cringed every time TC said, “My friend, Suicide….”)

TC and Chris’s investigation leads them to Dr. Anton (Dennis Christopher), an arsonist who is currently in a mental hospital. They try to do a Lecter/Clarice thing between Anton and Chris. Dennis Christopher is a good actor and it appears that he was having fun playing a thoroughly demented character. Jim Davidson and Darlene Vogel were very bad actors and it seems almost unfair to force them to share a scene like Dennis Christopher. It’s like giving me a chance to play tennis on national television and then telling me, right when the cameras start rolling, that I’m going to be playing against the Williams sisters. It’s just adding insult to injury.

Anyway, it turns out Willoughby is still alive and he’s targeting the businessman and he also kidnaps Lt. Palermo for some reason. Chris and TC are able to save Palermo and the crooked guy from the inferno and Willoughby once again vanishes. Because, of course, he does….

Meanwhile, Cory tries to catch a man who keeps bringing a snake to the boardwalk. At one point, she accidentally gets doused in a wet t-shirt contest. She’s win the trophy and then come back to the station without bothering to change shirts, which kind of goes against everything we’ve seen about Cory’s personality up until this point. For some reason, Palermo also puts Cory in charge of catch a mouse that’s running around the station. The snake, once captured, eats the mouse but then gets lost in the station. That made me laugh just because I like it whenever its acknowledged that the bike patrol is totally incompetent.

Next week …. Chris has a new boyfriend! Dr. Anton, maybe? We’ll find out!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.10 “Captive Audience”

Posted on March 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m a little bit late with this review but so what? I mean, what’s Pacific Blue going to do? Chase me on their bicycles?

Episode 1.10 “Captive Audience”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on May 4th, 1996)

The local bank is being robbed! The three robbers — desperate and murderous criminals all — have taken hostages, including TC and Cory. TC just wanted to check out his safe deposit box. Cory just wanted to withdraw some money so she could buy a motorcycle. (If she had been withdrawing the money to buy another bicycle, I would have thrown a shoe at my television.) TC is in uniform. The robbers know he’s a cop. Cory is not in uniform and she and TC are pretending not to know each other. There’s also a pregnant woman in the bank who goes into labor, which means that Cory is going to have to get over her loathing of babies to help deliver one!

*Sigh*

I think I’ve said before that I hate cop shows that feature people being held hostage. It’s always the same thing. The robbers threaten a lot of people. The hostages get beaten and abused. Outside the bank, the negotiator says, “You have to give me more time!” On Pacific Blue, the negotiator is Captain Palermo and there’s something just silly about him, in his shorts and crisp polo shirt, directing a bunch of rough-and-ready SWAT team members who are in protective gear. Hostage situations are serious and potentially deadly but Palermo chasing the robbers are on his bicycle just made me laugh and laugh. I also laughed when the SWAT team first arrived at the bank and spotted Cory and TC’s bicycles sitting outside the building. “There might be cops in there,” someone says. Apparently, they’re unsure about whether or not bike cops should be considered real police or not. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

It falls to Del Toro and Chris to track down Doc Mueller (Charley Lang), a paranoid electronics expert who lives in a tent on the beach. He agreed to help disable the bank’s alarm so that the SWAT team can sneak inside. He also taps into the head robber’s “cellular phone” so that the cops can see who he is working with on the outside. Shows from the 90s are always amusing because everyone’s always like, “He’s got a cellular phone!” In 1996, those were still unusual and only used by desperate bank robbers.

(On a positive note, one of the robbers is played by a handsome young actor named Walton Goggins. What ever happened to him? Seriously, there’s not much about his performance here that indicates the type of actor he would become but still …. WALTON GOGGINS!)

Everything works out, of course. The main bank robber tries to escape in a helicopter but Palermo chases him — on his bike! — and manages to jump into the helicopter. It would have been really impressive if not for the bicycle and the fact that the Pacific Blue uniforms — those shorts and those blindingly white shirts — make all of the characters look really silly. It’s hard to take a cop seriously when he’s dressed like an aging track coach. The important thing, though, is that Cory gets over her hatred of babies and Palermo shows that bike cops deserve as much respect as real cops.

Eh. Who cares?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.9 “Moving Target”

Posted on March 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Eh, who cares?

Episode 1.9 “Moving Target”

(Dir by Mickey Dolenz. originally aired on April 27th, 1996)

When TC’s former lover, ex-model Rebecca Reynard (Jacqueline Collen), is nearly shot by a mysterious gunman, TC takes it upon himself to serve as her bodyguard. Chris rolls her eyes because that’s how Chris reacts to every situation. We’re nine episodes in and Chris still doesn’t really have a personality beyond being perpetually annoyed. To the surprise of no one, Rebecca turns out to be hiding some deadly secrets of her own and TC comes to realize that his former and current lover is actually a stone cold sociopath. This is one of those traumatic developments that will probably never be mentioned again.

(I thought TC had a girlfriend. She was present in the pilot but has never been heard from since.)

Meanwhile, former boxer Victor returns to the ring to help Palermo win a bet against a smarmy lifeguard. The boxing storyline — which features Victor facing off against the one opponent who beat him during his previous pugilist career — was actually interesting. Too bad the show ended without actually revealing who won the big fight. I think we were supposed to be satisfied with the fact that Victor found the confidence necessary to step back into the ring. No, Pacific Blue. You haven’t earned the right to end on a note of ambiguity. Not yet.

This episode was directed by former Monkee Mickey Dolenz. Unfortunately, not even a Monkee can make cops on bikes look cool.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.8 “Burnout”

Posted on March 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh no! It’s the cops!

Episode 1.8 “Burnout”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 20th, 1996)

This episode of Pacific Blue opens with a hilarious scene of Victor and Cory sneaking up on some drug dealers that they’ve spotted making a sale. What makes it hilarious is that Victor and Cory somehow manage to do this while 1) wearing their blindingly white t-shirts and 2) riding their bikes. There’s not much good to say about this show but there’s an undeniable amusement factor in the show’s insistence that bicycle cops don’t look massively dumb creeping up on people while on their bikes.

It turns out that the dealers aren’t selling the usual “smack,” as Cory puts it. Instead, they’re selling steroids! Sheila (Shannon Tweed) is upset that one of her waitresses had gotten hooked on steroids and…. wait, who? Sheila briefly appeared in the pilot episode but she hasn’t been mentioned since and this is certainly the first time that we learn that Lt. Palermo’s girlfriend owns a restaurant. This episode acts as if Sheila is a regular character that we all know and love.

I get the feeling this episode was meant to air earlier in the season. Not only does Sheila return but Chris is back to being her arrogant, bitter self. Chris was a fighter pilot until her eyesight failed, a story we hear again and again in this episode. (She no longer has 20/20 eyesight but whenever she talks about it, she makes it sound as if she literally went blind.) Another pilot, Greg (Peter Barton), comes to visit her and makes a few jokes about how riding a bicycle is lame. This gives Chris a chance to defend her job and to also call out Greg for being a sexist who just wants to get laid before returning to the skies. Chris may be right about Greg but he’s played by the totally adorable Peter Barton so really, why not?

Meanwhile, on the beach, a schizophrenic man annoys the owner of a bodega by playing his saxophone. Fights break out, Cory tells the saxophone man to play his instrument under the pier. Presumably, it will be easier for him to get mugged or murdered under there. I like that the solution when it came to the crazy homeless man was just to find somewhere else for him to be crazy and homeless. Don’t take him to a shelter or a hook him up with mental health professionals or anything silly like that.

This show …. ugh. I’m really hoping the first season is an outlier and the subsequent seasons will be an improvement. The only thing worse than bicyclists are people who are cocky about being bicyclists. For 8 episodes now, it’s been one person after another expressing shock at the whole bicycle thing. We get it. We understand. The cops look stupid on their Schwinns. But, that’s the show. If Pacific Blue is still trying to justify its existence after eight episodes, that’s not a great sign.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/16/25 — 2/22/25

Posted on February 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yeah, I’m running late with this. That seems to be the theme of my life this weekend but no matter! Here it is, my week in television.

American Murder: Gabby Petito (Netflix)

Netflix’s Gabby Petito documentary didn’t necessarily tell me anything that I didn’t already know about that tragic and awful case. Indeed, I kind of found myself getting angry at the documentary as I watched the endless footage of Gabby because it reminded me that Gabby Petito — and every other crime victim — deserved more than to be the latest subject of America’s fascinating with the morbid and the sordid. (Of course, it’s hypocritical of me to judge as I was the one watching the documentary.) But, in the end, I did feel that the documentary made an important point. There were so many red flags about Brian Laundrie but no one wanted to admit it, not the cops and not Gabby’s friends. Gabby was failed by so many people.

Up until I saw this documentary, I was not convinced that Brian’s family really knew the full extent of his crimes. Now, I’m convinced that they not only knew but tried to help him cover them up. It’s infuriating.

Check it Out! (Tubi)

I reviewed Check It Out! here. I’ll soon be finished with this show and I have to admit that I’m kind of proud of being the only person to have actually sat down and reviewed every single episode.

CHiPs (Prime)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I have now started the third and final season of this creepy German show. It’s all about time travel, black holes, and people having nonstop sex without any emotional connection. The architecture is brutalist, the cinematography is dark, and everyone seems to be fairly depressed. It’s very German and very intriguing.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I reviewed Highway to Heaven here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Evening, Fox)

Chef Ramsay was back in New Orleans, helping out another surprisingly ugly restaurant. Seriously, how can a restaurant succeed when it looks like a trailer? Again, a former football player was brought in to provide emotional encouragement. I will undoubtedly find myself in New Orleans in the future but I’ll probably never eat there.

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I reviewed The Love Boat here!

Malibu CA (YouTube)

I reviewed Malibu CA here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I reviewed Monsters here!

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

I reviewed this stupid, stupid show here!

Scamanada (Hulu)

I finished up Scamanda this week, watching the final two episodes. For all the build-up, the finale was a bit disappointing. Amanda was arrested and convicted and then, for 30 minutes, we listened to a bunch of podcast hosts talk about how they came across the story and went viral with it. I love true crime documentaries but true crime podcast hosts are always so annoying and self-important.

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

I wrote about St. Elsewhere here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

I’m nearly done with this show, thank God. I reviewed the latest episode here!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.7 “Heatwave”

Posted on February 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, there’s a heatwave on the beach!

Episode 1.7 “Heatwave”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 13th, 1996)

A heatwave has hit Santa Monica! Everyone is sweltering and the cameras of Pacific Blue are there to record every drop of sweat. The AC at Chris’s apartment is not working so, while she waits for it to get repaired, she moves in with TC. What will TC’s girlfriend think of that? Actually, she won’t think anything about that because her character disappeared after the pilot.

As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that the show’s writers really seemed to have no idea who the characters actually were. Instead of coming across like actual human beings, every character has one personality trait that the writers insist on hammering into every scene. Chris is always complaining about something. Even after TC offers to let her stay at his apartment, Chris complains. Chris complains so much that it actually becomes a bit whiny on her part. But it’s not really Chris’s fault. It’s the fault of the writers who obviously assumed that writing a “strong woman” meant making her act like a bitch no matter what the situation. TC’s character trait is that he has a permanent chip on his shoulder even though every episode so far has essentially been a TC love fest. He’s second-in-command of the bike cops. He’s never held responsible for his mistakes. He comes from a rich family. Lt. Palermo praises him nonstop. And yet TC always seems like he’s bitter about something. And, as with Chris’s permanent bad mood, it’s just because the show’s writers didn’t bother to give him a personality beyond always acting like he has something to prove. The episodes hints at an attraction between Chris and TC but they would really be a terrible couple.

This episode finds a radio sex therapist (Maura Peters) being stalked by Jordan Crane (Denis Forest, playing the same type of creepy psycho that he played on multiple episodes of Friday the 13th), a listener who is obsessed with her and who murders anyone who he thinks is getting too close to her. TC has a crush on the sex therapist. Chris dislikes the sex therapist and thinks TC is dumb because of course she does. Chris and TC run afoul the homicide detective, Bart Browning (Barry Lynch), who is investigating the case. Browning doesn’t have much respect for cops who ride bicycles. Palermo, Chris, and TC go out of their way to change his mind.

So, yes, this is yet another episode where Pacific Blue tries to convince us that cops on bikes aren’t as dorky and useless as they look. Every time Browning makes fun of them, we get a shot of the bike cops chasing a thief or investigating a lead. The problem is that Browning does have a point. The cops do look really silly on their bikes. The fact that they often have to pick up and carry their bikes doesn’t help. And listen, this is not an anti-bicycle thing. I have a bike, I occasionally ride it in the park. (What I don’t do is ride it in the middle of the street.) When you’ve got asthma like me, cycling is a good way to keep your lungs healthy. But if I need the police, I want to see a squad car and I don’t want to have to deal with anyone wearing shorts.

While this is going on, Victor and Cory investigate a thief who hires strippers to perform in stores and bars. While everyone is distracted, the thief robs the place. This storyline actually did make me laugh a little. All of the male witnesses could perfectly describe the strippers but none of them even saw the man sneaking behind the counter with a gun. In the end, the thief is captured in an elaborate undercover sting. Cory and Chris pretend to be the dancers while Palermo pretends to be the bartender and the thief soon discovers everyone else in the bar is a cop as well. At least in this storyline, Chris’s bad mood had to do with being annoyed with the objectification of women as opposed to being mad because someone offered her a place to stay so she wouldn’t die of heatstroke.

Finally, Elvis discovers a lot of holes on the beach and thinks that the aliens are coming. It turns out that a local golf course was just stealing the sand for their sand traps. I’m glad that worked out!

As much as I’ve complained, this episode of Pacific Blue was a slight improvement over the previous few episodes, if just because the the subplots were vaguely interesting and/or amusing. Chris and TC continue to be the weakest part of the show. Hopefully, they’ll get some new personality traits soon.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/9/25 — 2/15/25

Posted on February 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Abbott Elementary (Wednsesday Night, ABC)

I loved the science fair episode, which I watched on Hulu on Wednesday afternoon! Ava is my favorite character so I enjoy any episode that deals with her troubled past, her unique principal style, and the moments where she actually turns out to be good at her job.

I also enjoyed the latest episode of Abbott, with Ava helping out the other schools and Jacob giving an impassioned speech to the school board that will probably come back to haunt him at some point in the future. After the previous season’s somewhat uneven mix of episodes, it’s nice to see Abbott Elementary going strong again!

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday. It’s a holiday tradition! You can read Erin’s review here!

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I finished up season two this week. Onward to the season three next week!

Extracted (Monday Night, Fox)

In this new reality show, out-of-shape people go into the wilderness and try not to die. From a control room, their family members watch and debate whether or not to pull them out of the game. On Wednesday, I watched the first two episodes on Hulu. The show is ludicrous but it’s entertaining, as most good reality shows are. I would hope that my family would pull me out after the first ten minutes.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Finally leaving the ugly restaurants of New Orleans, Chef Ramsay helped out an ugly restaurant in Houston. Seriously, how does the show find these ugly places? This time, the restaurant owner got mad at Ramsay and even called him into the storeroom for a talk. Ramsay was still able to get through to her and save the restaurant. Yay!

Scamanda (Hulu)

On Tuesday, I watched the second episode of Scamanda, which revealed a bit about Amanda’s background and also her husband. The episode suggested that Amanda based her scam off of her husband’s stepdaughter from his first marriage and her very real battle with Leukemia. Not only does this show how twisted Amanda was but it also indicates that her husband was very much a part of her scheme. The second episode was marked improvement over the first. I’m looking forward to the third.

The Story Behind (Tubi)

I watched two episodes. One featured the story behind Beverly Hills 9o210. The other was the story behind Full House. Neither really told me anything that I didn’t already know.

Super Bowl LXI (Sunday Night, Fox)

The only thing more boring than the game were the commercials. A lot of people are making a big deal about Taylor Swift getting booed at the game. The Swifties are in an uproar but, honestly, it’s an American tradition to boo celebs at sporting events, especially ones who are only there because they’re dating a player. Taylor’s apparent shock at being booed has become a meme but it was actually a very relatable and human moment. I prefer Taylor’s “What’s going on?” to the celebs who either pretend to not to care or the ones who go into a rage mode the minute they have to deal with public opinion.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.6 “Takedown”

Posted on February 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Who cares? Roll the opening credits.

Episode 1.6 “Takedown”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on April 6th, 1996)

Three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in …. oh Hell. Where does this show take place? I know it’s in California but what’s the name of the town? Malibu? Is that it? Hold on, let me check with Wikipedia….

SANTA MONICA! That’s where this show takes place.

See, that’s the type of show that Pacific Blue is. I am now six episodes into this show and I’m still can’t tell you where it specifically takes place. It’s not that they haven’t mentioned that the show is set in Santa Monica. And considering that I even attended Saint Monica School for a semester, you would think that I would be able to remember it. But Pacific Blue is such a generic show that it’s difficult to really remember a thing about it. It fades from your memory within seconds of being watched. About the only thing that really sticks with the viewer about this show is how stupid everyone looks on their bicycles with their tight white shirts and their blue shorts. The fact that Rick Rossovich plays their leader with a perpetual air of grim determination only serves to make them seem even more ridiculous. Cops are supposed to look intimidating. That’s one reason why a lot of people don’t like them. These cops just look like the type of douchebags you dread getting stuck behind in traffic.

As for this episode, three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in Santa Monica. Somehow, they always manage to escape right before the cops show up. Maybe that’s because the cops are all on bicycles and they have to steer across crowded sidewalks without even having the benefit of a siren to tell people to get out of the way. What’s odd is that no one ever seems to notice the criminals until they pull out their guns. These are three extremely scruffy criminals, all of whom are clad in clothes that don’t appear to have been washed in days. Are you seriously telling me no one would notice that on the beach in San Diego or wherever this freaking show takes place?

If I was a store owner who got robbed at gunsight and who then called the police, nothing would piss me off more than having the bicycle cops respond. Seriously, you need a car to chase criminals! All the criminals have to do is wait for the bike cops to pull a muscle or ride over a stick in the middle of the road and then they’ll be home free. If I get robbed, give me the real cops!

TC gets upset when one of the criminals points a gun at him. Lt. Palermo encourages him to stop being stoic and get in touch with his feelings and …. oh, who cares? Freaking bicycle cops. While that’s going on, Chris takes a creative writing class and dates her professor (Zach Galligan). From what we hear of Chris’s literary efforts, she has no talent whatsoever. She was such a bad writer that I literally got angry while she reading her story. I wanted the professor to throw something at her. Also, Victor del Toro falls in love with a model (Krista Allen) and even gets a date with her, despite his dumbass bicycle.

Where does this show take place again? Malibu?

Anyway, this was just another episode about the most useless cops ever.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/2/25 — 2/8/25

Posted on February 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m one episode behind as far as Abbott goes. This week, I watched the golf course episode but I still need to watch the science fair episode. I’ll do it tomorrow before the Super Bowl. As always, the episode made me laugh. The show has done marginally better with the gentrification subplot than it did with the charter school storyline a few seasons ago.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I continuing to watch this creepy German show. This is the only show I’ve ever seen that’s actually held my attention while the characters discuss physics.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

And we have a winner! Kyle’s door open and he is the latest chef to win a season of Hell’s Kitchen. I did like Kyle but I have to admit that I lost interest in this season after both Brandon and Egypt were eliminated. I still can’t see Kyle as a head chef. Brandon had a bad night and Egypt lost an arbitrary contest but I still feel like either one of them would have been a better winner. That said, anyone who has ever tasted my cooking knows that I wouldn’t have even made it past the first 10 minutes of the first episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Congratulations to Kyle on his victory and on proving people like me, who were pretty dismissive of his chances at first, wrong.

King of the Hill (Hulu)

I watched the episode where Bill’s touchdown record was broken and, with Hank’s encouragement, Bill rejoined the high school team in an effort to win it back. “You the man, Bill …. don’t look down at your leg.”

Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, Tuesday Night)

Chef Ramsay was, again, in New Orleans this week. The New Orleans shows have been kind of boring. None of the restaurants have really been that appealing, either before or after their makeover. You have to wonder how many times Chef Ramsay is going to have to invite an ex-football player to come and convince people to do their job. It’s kind of funny how the only thing many of these restaurants really need is for a former member of the Saints to show up for five minutes.

After being bored with the trip to New Orleans, I hopped on Tubi and revisited the Amy’s Baking Company episodes from seasons 6 and 7. Now that was classic Ramsay chaos! I like it when Chef Ramsay is nice to the chefs on Hell’s Kitchen but, when it comes to Kitchen Nightmares, I just want him to rip the place apart!

Scamanda (Hulu)

On Wednesday, I watched the first episode of this NBC docuseries about a woman who pretended to have cancer and who swindled a lot of people out of a lot of money. It was an interesting episode. People pretending to be sick to get money from people is hardly a new phenomena but it was interesting to see not only how far Amanda took it but also how gullible people really were. (They really wanted to believe.) The film did have a few regrettable reenactments, including a truly risible one of a bunch of churchgoers literally throwing money at Amanda’s feet. Still, it’s an interesting story.

Watched and reviewed: