Julie’s Tycoon”

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episodes 6.7 and 6.8 “The Spoonmaker Diamond/Papa Doc/The Role Model/Julie’s Tycoon”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on November 13th, 1982)

The Love Boat is going to Greece and Turkey!

Well, actually, it’s the Love Boat crew that is going to Greece and Turkey. They’ve been asked to temporarily take over another ship and, of course, Captain Stubing said yes. This is one of those two-hour Love Boat episodes where the action was actually shot on location and on a real cruise ship. As such, it’s more of a travelogue that anything. We get to see the sights of both Greece and Turkey and no one makes any jokes about Midnight Express.

The majority of the storylines revolve around the Spoonmaker Diamond, a very valuable diamond that has been stolen by someone on the ship. Was the diamond stolen by Emmett and Ellen Stokes (Harvey Korman and Nancy Dussault)? Was the diamond stolen by Mark Hayward (Mike Connors)? That’s what Inspector Sadu (Jamie Farr) is trying to figure out! Of course, regardless of who stole it, it ultimately ends up in the unknowing possession of travel agent Dana Pierce (Polly Bergen). Will Mark steal the diamond or will he fall in love with Dana? Why can’t he do both? This was an odd story because you had the goofiness of Harvey Korman and Jamie Farr and then you had the grouchy intensity of Mike Connors. Connors seemed to be under the impression that he was appearing on a hard-boiled crime show as opposed to an enjoyably silly comedy about a cruise ship.

Meanwhile, Sabrina Drake (Jan Smithers) is a young heiress who is traveling with her mother, Amanda (Alexis Smith). Amanda is not happy when she sees that tabloid reporter Joe Novak (Kiel Martin) is also on the cruise. She’ll probably be even less happy when she discovers that Amanda is 1) secretly seeing Joe and 2) is pregnant. When Doc finds out that Sabrina is pregnant, he offers to marry her. Why not? He’s known her for two days and he’s in love. Fortunately, Joe talks to Amanda and wins Amanda’s blessing for his relationship with Sabrina. Doc remains single.

Speaking of marriage, Greek tycoon Gregori Pananopolis (Lorenzo Lamas) asks Julie to marry him. Julie is stunned and says she needs some time to think it over. She tells Captain Stubing that she’s not sure if she’s ready to get married. Uhmm …. Julie, this like the third or fourth guy who had asked you to marry him on this show. You’ve nearly gotten married twice. It’s odd how the show always acts as if marriage proposals aren’t a recurring theme when it comes to Julie. Fortunately, Julie stays single because we all know she’s destined to eventually marry Doc. Or Gopher, maybe.

Fashion photographer Cliff Jacobs (David Hedison) runs into his ex-wife, model Monica Brandon (Linda Evans). He lies about having landed a job with a magazine in order to get her to pose for him. He also takes some pictures of Vicki posing amongst the ruins of Greece. Later, a magazine contacts him and offers to make Vicki into a star but he and Monica decide not to tell Vicki because they don’t want her to have to deal with pressure of being a model. Hey Cliff and Monica, that’s really not your decision to make. I’m sure being a model would be no less detrimental to Vicki than spending her entire youth on a cruise ship with people who are several decades older than her.

As I said at the start of the review, this episode worked best as a travelogue. None of the stories were particularly intriguing but the scenery was lovely. Even Turkey looked like a nice place to visit!

Horror Film Review: Day The World Ended (dir by Roger Corman)

Posted on October 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“You finally did it! You blew it up! …. Goddamn you to Hell!”

That’s right. Just as how the original Planet of the Apes showed us what the world would look like centuries after a nuclear war, 1957’s Day The World Ended shows us what things would be like in the weeks afterwards. And guess what? It wouldn’t be a lot of fun.

Day The World Ended starts with the bombs dropping and mushroom clouds forming in all of their fearsome glory. (Oppenheimer may have hated his greatest achievement but aesthetically, the atomic bomb is still an impressive invention.) Jim Maddison (Paul Birch) and his daughter, Louise (Lori Nelson), manage to survive by camping out in a steel bunker that Maddison built especially for the moment. As a former Navy commander, Maddison understood that the world was on the verge of nuclear war and he also understood that only those with discipline would survive. He’s filled with bomb shelter with supplies and he’s told Louise that only the two of them can use the shelter. Anyone else is out of luck.

Unfortunately, people keep showing up at the shelter and asking to come in. And while Maddison is prepared to leave them outside with the fallout and the mutants that have started to roam the desert, Louise just can’t stand the thought of leaving anyone to die. Reluctantly, Maddison starts to allow people to join him and his daughter. Some of them, like geologist Rick (Richard Denning), are a good addition to the group, Rick is actually an expert in uranium mining and a potential husband for Louise. (Louise has a fiancé but he’s missing. She keeps his picture by her bed. The picture, of course, is actually a photo of director Roger Corman.) Unfortunately, not everyone is as likable and well-intentioned as Rick. Lowlife hood Tony (Mike Connors) and his girlfriend, Ruby (Adele Jergens) show up and continue to act as if they’ve got the police after them even though the police were probably atomized with the rest of civilization. And finally, there’s a man (Jonathan Haze) who is transforming into a mutant and who develops a strange mental connection to Louise.

No one said the end of the world would be easy!

Day The World Ended was Corman’s fourth film as a director and it was also his first film in the horror genre. (It’s actually a mix of science fiction and horror but whatever.) The film was enough of a box office success that it inspired Corman to do more films in the genre. Seen today, it’s obviously an early directorial effort. It lacks the humor that distinguished Corman’s later films. In fact, the film is actually a little bit boring. Watching a film like this really drives home just how important Vincent Price and his energy were to Corman’s later films. This film doesn’t have an actor like Vincent Price or Boris Karloff or even Dick Miller, someone who could energize a film just through the power of their own eccentricities. Instead, Mike Connors, Paul Birch, and Richard Denning all give dull performances as the survivors. This is a historically important film because, without its box office success, Corman probably would have stuck with doing B-westerns and gangster films. Filmgoers should be happy that audiences in the 50s were drawn in by the film’s title and their own paranoia about nuclear war. It’s a film that one appreciates as a piece of history, even if it doesn’t quite stand up to the test of time.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.25 & 26: “This Year’s Model/The Model Marriage/Vogue Rogue/Too Clothes for Comfort/Original Sin”

Posted on October 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s time for the fashion festival!

Episode 4.25 and 4.26 “This Year’s Model/The Model Marriage/Vogue Rogue/Too Clothes for Comfort/Original Sin”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on May 2nd, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat sails to Acapulco for the International Fashion Festival! Vicki, who hopes to grow up to be a fashion designer, is excited about meeting her idols. Doc, Gopher, and Isaac are excited about the models. Captain Stubing starts the cruise by reminding everyone to do their job for once. It’s about time Stubing told them that. Does Doc even keep office hours anymore?

This one of those two-hour episodes of The Love Boat that gets chopped into two episodes for syndication. As such, it’s double-sized, with twice as many guest stars and the boat actually sailing to Acapulco during filming. That doesn’t mean that the storyline are any more complicated than usual on this episode. Despite being longer then usual, the episode follows the usual Love Boat pattern. The extra time is largely taken up with a travelogue of Mexico (watch as a limo very slowly drives to a luxury hotel!) and the fashion show.

Fashion designers Gloria Vanderbilt, Bob Mackie, Halston, and Geoffrey Beene all appear as themselves. They’re listed as guest stars but they don’t actually do anything other than board the ship and then show off their designs. They don’t find love on the boat, nor do they search for it. (Well, Halston probably did….) Interestingly enough, none of them — not even the famous Halston — has much of a screen presence and in the scene where they introduce themselves to the crew, they’re all so stiff that it is somewhat difficult to watch. It’s obvious that none of them were actors but it’s also interesting to consider that there was a time when someone could be internationally famous without being a natural on camera.

There are also a few fictional designers on the cruise. They’re the one who actually have storylines. Harvey Blanchard (Dick Shawn) is not aware that his daughter, Mandy (Debra Clinger), has married his nerdy assistant, Alvin Beale (Richard Gilliand). Mandy wants Alvin to tell her father that they re married during the cruise but first, Alvin is going to have to figure out what to do after he accidentally dumps some designer clothes down a laundry chute and they end up shrinking in the dryer. (“Have you ever considered designing children’s clothing?” Alvin asks his boss.)

Benita James (Elke Sommer) is an “up-and-coming” fashion designer who falls in love with Sidney Sloan (Mike Connors), despite the fact that he’s an industrial spy who has been hired to steal her designs. Sid falls in love with Benita as well and decides that he can’t betray her. But when Sid’s partner (Steve Franken) ransacks Benita’s cabin, will Sid be able to convince her that he wasn’t involved?

Charles Paris (Robert Vaughn, looking somewhat embarrassed) is a cosmetics tycoon who boards the boat looking for the new Ms. Paris, the model who will be the face of his company. Will he pick Liz(Morgan Brittany) the model with whom he is falling in love, or will he pick Joanne Atkins (Carmilla Sparv), the model who has been told that, since she’s now over 35, her career is over?

Speaking of Joanne, she falls in love with Captain Stubing and Stubing falls in love with her. Meanwhile, the married heads of her modeling agency (Anne Baxter and McClean Stevenson, who looks almost as embarrassed as Robert Vaughn) argue over whether or not Joanne is too old to continue on as a model.

Julie is excited because her former sorority sister, Melissa (Cristina Ferrare), is a model on the cruise. Julie can’t wait to spend the whole cruise with her but Melissa meets and falls in love with Larry (Chris Marlowe). When Melissa and Larry run off to get married, Julie takes her friend’s place in the fashion show.

And really, the fashion show is what this episode is all about. The stories aren’t particularly important. We’re here for the clothes!

Bob Mackie starts things off with a really cute collection of lingerie and pajamas, which happen to be my favorite things to wear. I loved his collection.

Gloria Vanderbilt follows with sporty summer fashion, and watching her collection, I found myself wanting to go play tennis with my neighbors.

Geoffrey Beene follows with a collection of plaid suits that will be familiar to anyone who has ever binged a 70s sitcom.

“Up and comer” Benita James presents a collection of truly hideous cocktail dresses.

And Halston closes things out with evening wear. “Red is my favorite color,” Halston says, “It’s so fun.” This redhead appreciates the sentiment, even if it was kind of obvious that Halston didn’t bring his top designs on the cruise with him.

As the highlight of the episode, the fashion show was definitely entertaining though. it was impossible not to smile at just how ugly Benita James’s designs actually were. Seriously, someone went to the trouble to hire two industrial spies to steal those designs?

As for everything else, it all works out. This is The Love Boat. Everything always works out. Charles Paris announces that the new Ms. Paris will be Joanne but then he asks Liz to be “Mrs. Paris.” Sid and Benita decide to get married as well. Captain Stubing gets to have sex for once. I think that may be the first time that’s happened since this show started. Julie enjoys modeling. Everyone either finds love or decides not to get divorced. That’s a successful cruise!

This cruise was fun in its silly way. Bob Mackie definitely won the fashion show. Though the designers may not have been comfortable on camera and McClean Stevenson looked like he was on the verge of jumping overboard from embarrassment, this was The Love Boat at its most entertaining.

Fist Fighter (1989, directed by Frank Zuniga)

Posted on September 29, 2020 by Jedadiah Leland

C.J. Thunderbird (played by Jorge Rivero) is a former professional fighter who is now a miner living in Arizona. Two years ago, Thunderbird’s best friend was killed by a fighter named Rhino (Matthias Hues). Thunderbird swore vengeance and, when he gets a telegram informing him that Rhino has been spotted in Bolivia, Thunderbird heads down to South America, looking to settle things once and for all. With the help of a down-on-his-luck trainer named Punchy (Edward Albert), Thunderbird nearly defeats Rhino in the ring but the fight is suddenly stopped by the local police, all of whom are paid off by local drug dealer, Billy Vance (Mike Connors). Rhino works for Vance and Vance doesn’t want his most fearsome goon to be shown up in public. Thunderbird and Puchy soon find themselves in one of those prisons where the inmates are forced to take part in underground cage matches. Thunderbird’s only chance of survival and perhaps escape depends upon defeating yet another fighter, the Beast (Gus Rethwisch).

The coolest thing about Fist Fighter is that it’s called Fist Fighter. It sounds like a title for a movie that someone made up but instead, it’s very, very real. The 2nd coolest thing about Fist Fighter is that the hero is named Thunderbird. I think this was Thunderbird’s only film adventure. If Fist Fighter had made more money, it could have led to a Thunderbird franchise. Jorge Rivero wasn’t much of an actor but he’s good in the fight scenes and Edward Albert overacts to such an extent that he easily makes up for Rivero’s inability to actually show emotion. I also liked Mike Connors as the smug villain. Brenda Bakker plays Billy Vance’s mistress. Of course, she ends up falling for Thunderbird.

Fist Fighter is dumb but entertaining. If Rivero’s role has been played by Jean-Claude Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren, two action stars who could actually act as well as convincingly fight, Fist Fighter would probably be a cult classic. As it is, it’s one of the more entertaining of the many rip-offs of Bloodsport.