Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 9/22/24 — 9/28/24

Posted on September 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Just as with last week, I’ve been busy getting ready for Horrorthon and watching a lot of movies. I haven’t watched much episodic television over the past few days.

I binged my way through several episodes of Fantasy Island and The Love Boat. I’ll be reviewing those episodes over the next few weeks. I watched the second season finale and the the third season premiere of Miami Vice. I’ll be posting my thoughts on the show tomorrow. I watched a few episodes of One Step Beyond, a horror-themed anthology show from the 60s. I’ll be posting episodes of that show throughout October. The fun thing about One Step Beyond is that all of the shows were claimed to be based on fact. Every episode seems like it should feature Criswell asking, “Can you prove it didn’t happen?”

On Netflix, I watched the second season of Monsters (the Ryan Murphy-produced true crime anthology show and not the old Canadian anthology series that I review for this site). This time, the series focused on Lyle and Erik Menendez. Though overstuffed with ten episodes, it was a clear improvement over the first season. At first, I was worried that the series was going to glamourize the Menendez brothers in much the same way that it previously glamourized Jeffrey Dahmer. Fortunately, that didn’t happen. The Menendez brothers came across as being two spoiled rich sociopaths and the fact that one of them reached out from prison to complain about how he was portrayed leads me to suspect that the miniseries got closer to the truth than some of the other shows that have been made about the Menendez murders. As is typical of Ryan Murphy’s miniseries, the end result was uneven and occasionally a bit tasteless but it was still interesting to watch. I plan to write and post a longer review sometime next week.

Speaking of Ryan Murphy-produced true crime, I watched the third episode of American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez. It was okay, even if it did feel as if it wasn’t really adding anything new to what we previously learned from the first two episodes. I liked Patrick Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of Tim Tebow, even the show itself didn’t exactly treat the character fairly. The actor playing Aaron Hernandez continues to come across as being a bit of a blank.

I plan to get caught up with Survivor next week. I might even check in on the Big Brother House, now that this season is nearly over. I did get a chance to watch the premiere of Hell’s Kitchen this week. I can’t wait for the first dinner service and elimination. Just based on the first episode, this looks like it will be another good season. Unlike Jeff Probst, who seems obsessed with changing Survivor simply for the sake of changing it, Gordon Ramsay seems to understand that there’s no need to fix something that is already working. I always enjoy Hell’s Kitchen and I’m looking forward to this season.

And that’s it for this week!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

Posted on September 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the second season comes to a close with …. TRAGEDY!

Episode 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on May 9th, 1986)

The final episode of the second season Miami Vice opens with Crockett and Tubbs getting their cover blown for what seems like the 100th time. Seriously, has there every been an episode featuring these two going undercover in which their cover has not been blown? This time, they’re nearly executed by the drug dealers they were trying to arrest but, at the last minute, a sniper with a laser-guided sight shoots one of the dealers. In the confusion, Sonny and Tubbs are able to subdue most of the other dealers and disarm a booby trap that would have blown up Switek and Zito.

When Crockett mentions that they would have been dead if not for the sniper with the laser pointer, Switek says, “None of our guys have a laser.”

(Why not, Switek!? Are you guys trying to win the War on Drugs or not!?)

It turns out that the sniper worked for Angelina Medera (Phanie Napoli), the daughter of Calderone, the Colombian drug lord whose murder of Tubb’s brother led to Tubbs coming to Miami in the first place. Though she is still bitter over Crockett killing her father, Angelina has come to Miami to introduce Tubbs to his son, infant Ricardo, and to warn Tubbs that her half-brother, Orlando (John Leguizamo, in his first screen role), has put a contact out on his life.

Tubbs is a father! Tubbs is in love! Well, as Crockett could warn him, there’s nothing worse than being happy when you’re a member of the Vice Squad because it’s guaranteed that your happiness will be ripped away from you in the most violent way possible. Orlando comes to Miami and kidnaps Angelina and little Ricardo. With the help of a corrupt DEA agent named Harrison (J.C. Quinn), Orlando tries to set Tubbs up. Drawing Tubbs out to a pier where Angelina is bound in a car, Orlando plans to blow up his rival. Tubbs, being the star of the show, does manage to survive being near the car when it explodes. Angelina is not so lucky. Tragically, Tubbs believes that his son was in the car as well. (Actually, Orlando set little Ricardo back to Colombia.) At Angelina’s funeral, Tubbs receives a letter from Orlando. “I’ll be back!” it reads.

And so, season 2 ends!

The finale was a bit of a let down, largely because a good deal of the running time was devoted to flashbacks to remind us just who the Calerdones were in the first place. As well, John Leguizamo is not exactly the most intimidating of actors and his performance as Orlando was a bit stiff and awkward. (It makes sense when you consider that he was only 19 years old and making his debut on a hit television show. Anyone would be nervous.) Much like the Frank Zappa episode, it’s obvious that this episode was meant to launch a storyline that would be revisited in the future. While Leguizamo would return, it would appear that this episode is the only one to feature Tubbs’s son. So, I guess Tubbs will have to live the rest of his life thinking his childhood was blown up by a Colombian drug lord.

That’s dark!

That’s Miami Vice dark!

Despite the weak finale, I thought the second season of Miami Vice was a good one. There were a few weak episodes but, for the most part, it was a strong and stylish season and one that continued to explore just why exactly the War on Drugs proved to be unwinnable. Episodes like Out Where The Buses Don’t Run, Bushido, One Way Ticket, Little Miss Dangerous, and Trust Fund Pirates were all examples of Miami Vice at its cynical and surreal best.

Next week, we begin season 3 with a guest appearance by Liam Neeson!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 9/15/24 — 9/21/24

Posted on September 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have spent most of this week getting ready for the annual October Horrorthon, which means that I’ve been watching a lot of horror movies and not a lot of television. As a matter of fact, I haven’t watched one episode of Big Brother this year and I didn’t even realize that Survivor started last week.

(Most years, I blog about Big Brother for another site but, due to my father’s passing, I took a leave of absence of this year. I may, however, write about Survivor because it’s only a once-a-week show as opposed to a 7-day a week gig.)

Here’s a few thoughts on what I did watch this week:

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (FX)

I watched the first two episodes of the latest Ryan Murphy-produced true crime miniseries on Saturday. This show deals with the life and crimes of Aaron Hernandez, a pro football player who ended up going to prison for murder and who is suspected of carrying out a lot more murders over the course of his short life. The first two episodes followed Aaron in high school and college, struggling to live up to his father’s ambitions and also with his own sexuality. The episodes were well-directed but I have to admit that the culture of sports remains extremely odd to me. So far, the defining image of the series is a bunch of naked football players hugging on each other while loudly talking about how much they hated anything that they considered to be gay.

So far, Josh Andres Rivera is believable as Aaron, even if he doesn’t exactly have the most exciting screen presence. Then again, Aaron Hernandez appears to have been kind of an idiot so maybe it makes sense that he would be kind of a blah person. The best performance so far has come from Tony Yazbeck as Aaron’s college coach.

The Emmy Awards (ABC)

Jeff and I watched the ceremony on Sunday but we muted it fairly early on. From what I saw, it was a pretty boring ceremony, up until Hacks beat The Bear for Best Comedy. I’m not really a huge fan of Hacks but it’s definitely more of a comedy than The Bear. That said, and this may be my film snobbery coming through, The Emmys have always felt a bit pointless when compared to the Oscars. Maybe that’s the Oscars have different nominees every year whereas the Emmys will nominate Only Murders In The Building until it finally ends its run.

Get Judged By Byron Browne (Nosey)

I watched an episode on Friday, in between horror movies. A guy called in, upset because his father sold his childhood home. (The guy had been led to believe, by his grandmother, that the house belonged to him.) Byron basically told the guy that promises from grandma have no legal standing. Poor guy. I felt bad for him. GIVE THE MAN HIS HOUSE!

The Jerry Springer Show (Nosey)

The episode I watched on Monday featured Jerry interviewing the Ku Klux Klan and the Black Hebrew Israelites (which, despite the name, is a Black supremacist group) at the same time. Needless to say, none of them were happy about being on stage together and the whole thing devolved into a bunch of shouting. One white woman in the audience shouted that black men received the right to vote before white women. A black woman then said that the Bible says that women are not supposed to vote because men were created first. It was a strange episode.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Read this week’s review here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

Read this week’s review here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I binged and wrote reviews of several episodes of Monsters. Read this week’s review here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

This Friday, I watched an old episode of this 90s music show. It was all about guitar rock and it was pretty cool. Of course, the whole thing was pretty much just videos of Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and Jeff Beck but they all sounded good. This EDM girl enjoyed listening to them.

One Step Beyond (YouTube)

I watched a few episodes of this paranormal anthology show on Thursday as I prepared for this year’s Horrorthon.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

Posted on September 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get weird in Miami!

Episode 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on May 2ns 1986)

Pirate radio DJ Captain Hook (Richard Belzer) sits on his yacht in international waters and broadcasts music to Miami while, at the same time, brokering drug deals among other yacht owners. His assistant is Noogie (Charlie Barnett), the informant who was all over the place during Miami Vice’s first season but who, up until this episode, was absent from the second season.

On another yacht, a group of Bolivians are gunned down by preppy young men who are led by Ivy League dropout Skip Mueller (Perry Lang). Skip and his buddies brag about being pirates and cheerfully make jokes while standing over the bodies of the men and the women that they killed.

A seaplane pilot named Jackson Crane (a young Gary Cole) raids the Bolivian yacht and takes some of the boat’s equipment home with him. Jackson is a longtime drug smuggler who claims that he’s on the verge of retirement. He’s dating a woman named Lani (Nicole Fosse), who happens to be Skip’s sister.

In a trailer park, Jumbo (Tommy Chong) and his wife Fluffy (Denny Dillon) keep a running tally of how many rats they’ve killed while trying to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. Jumbo calls everyone “man.” Fluffy is good with a shotgun.

And, in the middle of all this, we’ve got two aspiring drug dealers named Burnett and Cooper. Burnett and Cooper, of course, are actually Crockett and Tubbs. Just two episodes ago, one of Miami’s fiercest drug lords figured out that Burnett and Cooper are actually cops but I guess he decided not to tell anyone, despite the fact that he still thinks Crockett owes him money.

It’s a bizarre episode, full of strange characters and a plot that has so many double-crosses that it’s hard to keep track of who is betraying who. The episode was originally intended to be a sequel to Smuggler’s Blues, with Glenn Frey once again playing Jimmy the Pilot. When Frey couldn’t fit a return appearance into his schedule, the script was rewritten to feature Gary Cole as a friend of Jimmy’s. That said, it’s still obvious that the script was originally written more to highlight a popular guest star than to tell a totally coherent story.

Fortunately, Miami Vice works best when its a bit incoherent. One the major themes of the show is that no one can be trusted and that everyone is willing to betray everyone else. The world of Miami Vice is often illogical because it’s a world full of illogical people who tend to do whatever pops into their head at any given moment. Another major theme is that everyone either wants to get rich from selling drugs or they’re just adrenaline junkies who get a high from being involved in the underground. Skip and his friends are rich. They just enjoy killing people and pretending to be gangsters. This is one of the more violent and bloody episodes of Miami Vice. Skip and his friends enjoy their work a little too much.

It’s a good episode and well-acted. Gary Cole was considered for the role of Crockett before Don Johnson got the part and, in this episode, it’s easy to see why. Even as a young actor, Cole has a rugged cynicism to him that’s both dangerous and compelling. Perry Lang appeared in a lot of dumb teen comedies in the 80s, usually playing dorky nice guys. He’s absolutely chilling as the sociopathic Skip Mueller. And finally, there’s Richard Belzer, wearing an eyepatch, opening the episode by rapping with Noogie, and encouraging the criminals of Miami to enjoy some good music while breaking the law. Full of strange characters and shocking violence, this episode captures the idea of Miami being a surreal playground for the rich, ruthless, and crazy.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 9/8/24 — 9/14/24

Posted on September 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve been up at Lake Texoma for most of this week, getting some much-needed rest after the past 3 and a half months. As such, I haven’t watch much television over the past few days (and no, I did not watch the debate because, as I just said, I’m trying to rest and relax) but I did find time to binge and write up reviews for several episodes of Baywatch Nights, Check It Out!, Friday the 13th, and Welcome Back, Kotter. Watch for the rest of those reviews through the rest of this month and October!

Here’s some thoughts on what I did watch:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I binged Baywatch Nights this week. Check out my review of this week’s episode here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched and wrote reviews of several episodes of Check It Out! on Sunday. Look for the reviews through the rest of this month and October.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I reviewed this week’s episode of Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

Read this week’s review here!

Get Judged by Byron Browne (Nosey)

Tattooed and plain-spoken attorney Byron Browne listens to people talk about their problems and then tells them if they have grounds to sue. I watched a few episodes on Sunday evening. I actually liked the show. I appreciated the fact that Browne, for all of his flamboyance, gave good advice and didn’t waste many words getting to the point.

Jerry Springer Show (Nosey)

I watched three episodes of this show on Nosey while I was working on some reviews of shows that don’t feature Jerry Springer. One episode that I watched featured a dry cleaner who stole women’s clothes and wondered why his girlfriend was cheating on him. Another episode featured a man who wanted his lover to dress up like his mom. The last episode featured a man who got upset because his girlfriend was sleeping with his sister. I’m pretty sure every guest was an actor. I mean, I’ve known some pretty weird people but I’ve never known anyone as strange as the typical Spring guest.

Jerry Springer, let’s just be honest, came across as being incredibly sleazy. I don’t care that he was a former politician or that he was apparently inspired by Robert F. Kennedy, Sr. I don’t care that he was apparently an amiable presence off-stage. Watching him on this show, smirking while the audience chants his name, I felt no need to pretend like Springer was anything other than the epitome of a sleazy talk show host. For all the efforts made by some in the media to rehabilitate his image and to suggest that he shouldn’t have been judged by the show he hosted, Springer really was the worst and the faux sincerity of his “final thoughts” always verged on being offensive. If he was still alive, he’d be an excellent pick to play the sleazy game show host, Killian, in a Running Man remake.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed this week’s episode of The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I reviewed this week’s episode of Miami Vice here.

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.21 “Free Verse”

Posted on September 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Vice Squad gets a big assignment.

Episode 2.21 “Free Verse”

(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on April 4th, 1986)

The wheelchair-bound poet, Hector Sandoval (played by Byrne Piven), is coming to Miami so that he can testify before a Congressional committee about the human rights abuses that are occurring in his home country, abuses that Hector claims have been partially funded by American interests. Hector is a world-famous poet but his history as an outspoken political dissident has made him politically important as well. He’s been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Meanwhile, the right-wing death squads from his own country want him dead. Because Sandoval is equally critical of his country’s rebels, the left wants him dead as well. They feel he has more value as a martyr than as a living dissident.

With so many people trying to kill this important, world-famous person, his safety in America is the government’s top-most concern. So, naturally, the task of protecting Sandoval is assigned not to the FBI, the CIA, or the Secret Service. Instead, it’s given to the Miami Vice Squad. You read that correctly. A bunch of undercover cops are assigned to protect one of the most important men in the world. They meet him when he lands in the airport and their pictures are immediately taken by the horde of reporters waiting for Sandoval’s arrival. I guess everyone’s cover is blown now.

This is not a particularly interesting episode. Obviously, the show was looking to make a point about not only the political situation in Central America but also the role of the U.S. government in propping up various dictators and turning a blind eye to human rights abuses. That’s fine. Indeed, watching an episode like this today serves as a good reminder that Chavez and Maduro were hardly the first dictators to take power in South and Central America. But this episode gets so caught up in making its political points that it forgets to be interesting.

A huge part of the problem is that the members of the Vice Squad spend a lot of this episode in the background. The emphasis is on Hector Sandoval and his daughter, Bianca (Yamil Borges). Unfortunately, Byrne Piven goes so over-the-top as Sandoval that it’s impossible to take the character seriously. It’s a genuinely bad performance and it makes the episode a bit of a chore to sit through. (Admittedly, it is entertaining watching Edward James Olmos refuse to show a hint of emotion while Sandoval devours all of the scenery in their scenes together.)

For celebrity watchers, Bianca Jagger shows up as an assassin but she doesn’t really get to do much. Luis Guzman and future director Michael Bay play the imaginatively named “Goon #1” and “Goon #3.” Otherwise — and especially when compared to the episodes that came before it — this is a surprisingly forgettable episode of Miami Vice.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.20 “Payback”

Posted on September 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After taking a two-month hiatus, I think it’s time to finally get back to the reviews. Thank you for your patience, everyone. Now, let’s head to down to Miami for some Vice!

Episode 2.20 “Payback”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on March 14th, 1986)

A low-level drug dealer named Jesus Moroto (Roberto Duran) wants a meeting with the detective who arrested him and sent him to jail. When Sonny Crockett arrives to see what Moroto wants, Sonny is shocked when Moroto commits suicide in the visitation room.

Sudden and violent deaths are a recurring thing in Miami but the death of Moroto haunts Sonny. As Sonny explains to Tubbs, it doesn’t make any sense for Moroto, who was only looking at a few years in jail, to have killed himself. Sonny wonders why Moroto died in front of him. Tubbs suggests that Sonny instead focus on their current assignment, trying to get close to the elusive drug lord, Mario Fuente (played by famed art rocker, Frank Zappa). As a lot of drug lords do on this show, Fuente lives on a yacht and it’s next to impossible to see him. Using their undercover identities as Burnett and Cooper, Crockett and Tubbs have so far only been able to meet with Fuente’s second-in-command, Reuben Reydolfo (Dan Hedaya).

Crockett and Tubbs find themselves assigned to work with two DEA agents, one whom — Kevin Cates (Graham Beckel) — claims that he can get Crockett and Tubbs onto Fuente’s boat. Crockett and Tubbs are reluctant to work with anyone but it soon turns out that Cates is apparently better at his job than Crockett and Tubbs gave him credit for.

Except, of course, everyone’s got a secret. Before he went to jail, Moroto stole several million dollars from Fuente. It turns out that Internal Affairs is convinced that Crockett helped Moroto steal the money and Fuente, who knows that Burnett and Cooper are actually Crockett and Tubbs, believes the same thing. The only person who can truly prove that Crockett is innocent is Kevin Cates and that’s because he’s the one who stole the money!

It doesn’t matter that the twisty plot of this particular episode is not always easy to follow. It also doesn’t matter that this episode leaves you wondering just how exactly Crockett and Tubbs have managed to maintain their Burnett/Cooper personas for so long without everyone in Miami’s underworld figuring out the truth. (Personally, I wonder that after every episode.) This episode works due to the atmospheric direction of Aaron Lipstadt and the performances of Don Johnson, Edward James Olmos, Frank Zappa, and especially Graham Beckel. Beckel gives a performance that will keep you guessing at just who exactly Kevin Cates is working for and whether or not he can be trusted. That he makes Kevin into a somewhat likable character makes it all the more disturbing when he turns out to not be quite the honest law enforcer that he made himself out to be. If the main theme of Miami Vice often seemed to be that Crockett and Tubbs were fighting a war that there was no way to win, this episode shows why their work often felt so futile. In this episode, Crockett not only has to battle a drug lord but he also has to battle Internal Affairs. No one trusts anyone.

The episode ends on an ambiguous note, with Crockett technically cleared but still unable to truly prove his innocence. (Kevin Cates, the only man who can truly prove Crockett’s innocence, is naturally gunned down during the show’s final few minutes.) Crockett is warned that Fuente is still going to be coming after him. (Unfortunately, Zappa was in poor health when he filmed this episode and Fuente would never return.) This episode is Miami Vice at its most cynical and its most effective.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 8/4/24 — 8/10/24

Posted on August 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For the first time in a long time, things settled down enough this week that I could find time to watch a little television. Here are my thoughts!

Atomic TV (Night Flight Plus)

This bizarre show, from the 80s, was an entertaining mix of public domain educational films and excerpts from music videos. It was enjoyably trippy.

Cobra Kai (Netflix)

I watched the first five episodes of the final season on Thursday and Friday. I know that some people felt that the new episodes got Season 6 off to a bad start and I can kind of understand some of the criticism. How many times can Kreese come back from the dead? How many times can Tory be tempted to join the bad guys? The show has pretty much taken its premise as far as it can go and it’s probably good that this is the final season.

But, you know what? Cobra Kai is a fun show, one that works because of the combination of Ralph Macchio’s earnestness and William Zabka’s strong comedic timing. Yes, the show is silly and over-the-top but that’s kind of the point. The show’s blend of cringe comedy and melodrama still keeps me entertained and William Zabka’s performance as Johnny continues to make me smile.

Plus, there was this wonderful moment:

Dirty Pop: The Boy Band Scam (Netflix)

I watched all three episodes of this creepy docuseries on Sunday. The series told the story of how Lou Pearlman created the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and O Town and how he ended up stealing over $500 million dollars from his investors. Pearlman came across as being a bit of a monster and even creepier than he did during the first season of Making the Band. The docuseries featured interviews with former boy banders (though not Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone or anyone else who currently has a career going), in which they shared their mixed feelings about their experiences with Lou. My heart really broke for Michael Johnson, of Natural, who appeared to have been the most traumatized by his experiences with Lou Pearlman.

Dr. Phil (Pluto TV)

On Thursday night, I watched an episode in which Phil talked to a former Marine whose daughter was out-of-control. Everyone agreed that it was the father’s fault but the teen was still sent to Turn About Ranch. Did that ranch ever do anyone any good?

Miami Vice (Prime)

A gangster (played by legendary satirist Frank Zappa) thought Sonny had stolen some money from him. I’ll be posting a review of this episode on September 2nd so keep an eye out for it!

Summer Olympics (NBC)

Usually, I’m a huge Olympics nerd but this year, I’ve been too busy taking care of my Dad to really pay attention to them. I did occasionally tune in throughout this week. Personally, I think I could win a gold medal for Beach Volleyball. It doesn’t look that hard.

Steve Wilkos (Nosey)

I watched an episode of this talk show on Wednesday morning, when I couldn’t sleep. A man denied that he was the father of his ex-girlfriend’s nine year-old child. Steve yelled, “Get off my stage!” and threw a chair at the guy while the audience chanted, “STEVE!” Lost in all of the chaos and chanting was whether or not the guy was actually the father. I assume he was, just because of all the booing that went on.

On Saturday, I watched three episodes that featured Steve yelling at someone. He threw another chair at a different guy. The audience loved that.

TV 2000 (Night Flight TV)

I watched an episode of this 80s music video show on Saturday morning. A youngish Gene Simmons was interviewed and come across as being as arrogant but oddly likable as he is today.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.19 “The Fix”

Posted on July 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Crockett and Tubbs discover a judge may be taking bribes.

Episode 2.19 “The Fix”

(Dir by Dick Miller, originally aired on March 7th, 1986)

Roger Ferguson (Bill Russell) is a powerful man in Miami. A former basketball player turned lawyer, Ferguson could have been elected mayor but instead, he chose to take an appointment to the bench. In his art deco courtroom, Judge Ferguson hands down sentences and sets bail. In fact, sometimes, he sets bail at a surprisingly low amount. After a drug lord is released on a $5,000 bond and immediately catches a plane for Colombia, Crockett and Tubbs come to suspect that the Judge might be taking bribes.

And he is! Judge Ferguson has a gambling problem and a corrupt lawyer named Benedict (Harvey Fierstein, clean-shaved but recognizable from the minute he starts to speak) is taking advantage of that fact. In fact, Ferguson is so in debt that he’s had to borrow from a notorious loan shark named Pagone (Michael Richards — yes, the future Kramer from Seinfeld). Pagone is now demanding that the judge convince his son, a basketball player named Matt (Bernard King), to throw his next game.

There were some good things about this episode. It was directed by Dick Miller and yes, that is the same Dick Miller who, as a character actor, appeared in countless Roger Corman films. As a director, Miller had a good sense of style. The opening sequence, where the Vice Squad arrests a drug lord at an aviary, is genuinely exciting and well-done. There was also some moments of genuine humor, largely supplied by the contrast between Crockett’s intensity and Tubbs’s laid-back cool.

The problem is with the casting, some of which is not entirely the show’s fault. In 1986, no one knew that casting Harvey Fierstein and Michael Richards as ruthless villains would come across as being unintentionally humorous in 2024. Richards does not give a bad performance as Pagone but, whenever he threatens the judge, he sounds just like Kramer demanding the day off for Festivus. As for Bill Russell and Bernard King, I looked them up on Wikipedia after watching the show and I was not surprised to discover that they were both actual basketball players. Both of them gave earnest performances but it was easy to see that neither one of them was a natural or a trained actor. It wasn’t quite as bad as when actual basketball players used to show up on Hang Time but still, they definitely seemed to be struggling to keep up with the veteran actors in the cast.

This is yet another episode that ends with Crockett staring in horror as someone is shot on a yacht. (In this case, it’s Judge Ferguson committing suicide after killing Pagone.) Seriously, what was the yacht budget for this show?

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.18 “French Twist”

Posted on July 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Crockett learns an important lesson about trusting the French.

Episode 2.18 “French Twist”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired on February 21st, 1986)

An infamous French drug dealer and terrorist named Bandi (Xavier Coronel) has escaped from a Canadian prison and surfaced in Miami, where he murders an innocent hospital worker and takes off with a van full of morphine. While Tubbs tries to protect the only witness, a rebellious teenage photographer named Cindy (Shari Headley), Crockett works closely with Danielle Hier (Lisa Eichorn), a French INTERPOL agent who has been sent to Miami by her boss, Zolan (played, in an odd cameo, by folk singer Leonard Cohen).

In fact, Crockett may be working a bit too closely with Danielle because he’s the only person who doesn’t seem to notice that there’s something suspicious about her. Tubbs feels that there’s something that Danielle is not telling the Vice Squad and he’s right. While Castillo is under orders to take Bandi alive so he can be sent to face prison in Canada, Danielle has been sent to assassinate Bandi on behalf of French Intelligence.

This is a typically cynical episode of Miami Vice. The latter half of the first season and the majority of the second season have been full of episodes in which competing government agencies screw up Tubbs and Crockett’s efforts to clean up Miami. This episode is unique in that the competing government agency is French but otherwise, the theme remains the same. The War on Drugs can never be won because too many people are benefitting from it. When watched today, it’s helpful to have some knowledge of what was going on in France from the 60s to the 80s. Many French terrorist organizations — on both the left and the right — funded their activities through the heroin trade and it’s easy to see Bandi as a stand-in for the infamous ex-OAS drug lords of the era. As for Danielle, it’s mentioned that one of her previous missions involved blowing up a Greenpeace boat, which is something that French Intelligence actually did around the same time that this episode aired.

This is yet another episode the ends with a fateful gunshot in the night. In this case, it’s Crockett killing his lover to save his partner. It’s an ending that doesn’t quite have the emotional resonance to it that it’s had when used during previous episodes, largely because there’s very little romantic or sexual chemistry between Don Johnson and Lisa Eichorn. Eichorn, who was so good in Cutter’s Way, struggles a bit with her French accent and the final twist involving her character feels a bit too obvious. It’s hard to believe that Sonny — world-weary Sonny who lives on a boat and whose best friend is a crocodile and who has experienced plenty of CIA duplicity in both Vietnam and Miami — wouldn’t have been able to see right through her.

This was a forgettable episode, one that went through the motions without making much of an impression. It happens …. even in Miami.