Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.11 “The Best Man”

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Where was I when the new Pope was revealed? I was watching this stupid show.

Episode 2.11 “The Best Man”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 15th, 2000)

Finally, after weeks of posting apologetic notes and an imdb summaries, I have reached a second season episode of Malibu, CA that has actually been uploaded to YouTube. In fact, it appears that most of the rest of season 2 has been uploaded so I’ll be able to do real reviews now as opposed to just snarky speculation.

Normally, I’d celebrate but this is Malibu, CA. It is, by far, the worst show that I’ve reviewed here at the Shattered Lens. This week’s episode was especially stupid and the only thing that’s keeping me from really getting mad about having wasted 30 minutes of my life on it is the fact that we have a new Pope and he’s American!

The plot of this week’s episode is dumber than dumb. Murray’s best friend is marrying Lisa’s friend. How Lisa (the character, not me!) has any friends, I’m not really sure. She just moved to California at the start of the season, she acts like a condescending bitch to just about everyone she meets, and she’s continually talking about how better she is then everyone. Regardless, Scott has a crush on her …. then again, Scott also treats everyone he knows like crap so maybe that explains it. Anyway, Murray is the best man and Lisa is the maid of honor and Traycee says that means they’re destined to fall in love. Murray decides that Lisa is his girlfriend and, for some reason, neither Scott nor Lisa can find the courage to tell Murray the truth.

Meanwhile, Jason, his father, and new lifeguard Alex (Suzanne Davis) go into the piemaking business together. They’re using Alex’s grandmother’s recipe and everyone loves the pie! It’s so popular that they even set up a conveyer belt in the kitchen to make boxing the pies up go quicker. But then Jason gets distracted, the conveyer starts moving too quickly, and — hey, there’s pie everywhere!

(Hmmm…. this seems familiar….)

Uh-oh! There’s a lawyer in the restaurant and he’s threatening to sue. It turns out that Alex’s grandmother got her recipe from the pies that were being made by a professional bakery. And now, Jason and his Dad are getting sued, unless they stop making and selling the pies….

Wait a minute! SCREECH’S SPAGHETTI SAUCE! This whole thing is just a remake of an episode of Saved By The Bell! They didn’t even bother to come up with new ending!

Seriously, screw these lazy writers! I don’t ask for much, especially when the show is produced by Peter Engel. I’m certainly not expecting or demanding a hard-hitting drama or a ground-breaking comedy. But come on — DON’T JUST PLAGAIRZINE YOURSELF, YOU MORONS! MAKE SOME SORT OF FREAKING EFFORT!

Ugh, this show!

I didn’t care much for this episode.

Song of the Day: Chicago by Frank Sinatra

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

We have a new pope and he’s from Chicago! Which brings us to today’s song of the day….

Now, this could only happen to a guy like me
And only happen in a town like this
So may I say to each of you most gratefully
As I throw each one of you a kiss, this is

My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of people, too
People who smile at you

And each time I roam, Chicago is
Calling me home, Chicago is
Why I just grin like a clown
It’s my kind of town

My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of razzmatazz
And it has all that jazz

And each time I leave, Chicago is
Tuggin’ my sleeve, Chicago is
The Wrigley Building, Chicago is
The Union Stockyard, Chicago is
One town that won’t let you down
It’s my kind of town

Songwriters: Sammy Cahn / Jimmy Van Heusen

Scenes That I Love: A Conversation From Roberto Rossellini’s Rome, Open City

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s scene that I love comes from Rome, Open City:

Filmed in 1945, Roberto Rossellini’s Rome, Open City was one of the first films to be made about life under the Nazis. What set this film apart from others is that the majority of the cast actually had lived under the occupation. While there were a few professional amongst the cast, Rossellini also used many nonprofessional actors, who brought a weary authenticity to their roles and their portrayal of life in occupied Rome.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Roberto Rossellini Edition

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

119 years ago, on this date, the great Italian neorealist director (and husband of Ingrid Bergman and father of Isabella Rossellini), Roberto Rossellini was born in Rome. It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Roberto Rossellini Films

Rome, Open City (1945, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Ubaldo Arata)

Europe ’51 (1952, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Aldo Tonti)

Fear (1954, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Carlo Carlini, DP: Heinz Schnackertz)

Journey to Italy, (1954, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Enzo Serafin)

Music Video of the Day: Gold by Victoria Justice (2013, dir by Chandler Lass)

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This was Victoria Justice’s debut solo single. It took seven people to write this song. Personally, I think Victoria has sounded better in just about every other song she’s ever performed but at least she got to flirt with Colton Haynes in this music video.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.17 “Leavings”

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters makes even less sense than usual.

Episode 3.17 “Leavings”

(Dir by John Tillinger, originally aired on January 20th, 19991)

Two cops (played by Tony Shalhoub and John Christopher Jones) are concerned about something that they’ve noticed on the streets. Homeless people who are missing limbs are showing up. The cops know that the homeless people had all their limbs just a few days ago but now, they’re gone. There’s no sign of surgery or any sort of trauma. The limbs are just disappearing apparently. Meanwhile, there’s some new homeless guy wandering around who appears to be made out of limbs that don’t really seem to go together.

They go to their boss (Clifton James) with this concerns. Their boss tells them not to worry about it. However, the cops continue to worry about it. This leads to their boss revealing the truth of what’s happening. It turns out that their boss has been stealing body parts and building new people for years. He’s trying to create a policeman who will be loyal and who won’t ask questions. (We only see one of these constructed cops in the show. He wears a jacket that identifies him as being Officer S. Partz.) The boss then kills the two cops because they’ve seen too much.

This was a weird episode. How exactly did their boss learn how to remove body parts without leaving any sort of obvious signs of trauma? How did he learn how to bring his constructed people to life? How did …. well, it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s true that a 30-minuet anthology show doesn’t necessarily have to make perfect sense but this episode really does stretch things a bit too far. The three actors all give good performances but, otherwise, this episode just falls a bit flat.

Song of the Day: Do It To Me (Once More) by Riz Ortolani

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The House on the Edge of the Park (1980, dir by Ruggero Deodato)

Today’s song of the day is a deathless little disco song that comes from the soundtrack of Ruggero Deodato‘s legendarily tacky film, The House On The Edge Of The Park. This was one of many songs composed by Riz Ortolani, the John Williams of Italian exploitation cinema.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.27 “April in Boston/Saving Grace/Breaks of Life”

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Charo’s back!

Episode 5.27 “April in Boston/Saving Grace/Breaks of Life”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on May 1st, 1982)

April Lopez (Charo) is back! This time, she has given up show business and is now working as a Spanish tutor for stuffy private school headmaster Bradford York (David Hedison). She is falling for Bradford but she knows that he would never accept her as an entertainer. Or would he? We’re about to find out because the entertainment that Julie booked, probably while in a cocaine-fueled haze, fails to show up. Would April be willing to perform?

April sings “Let’s get physical, physical,” in the ship’s lounge but when Bradford stops by to get a drink, April covers her face with a mask. “If I sang like that,” Bradford says, “I’d wear a mask too….”

And that really gets to the main problem with this story. Bradford York is jerk! Seriously, I know why some people find Charo to be annoying and I do think The Love Boat tended to overuse the character but she deserves a lot better than Bradford York! Eventually, of course, Bradford leans that April is the singer and he tells her that he loves her in Spanish. (He has to ask April how to say it first.) So, I guess it’s a happy ending but we all know that April’s going to be single again once the sixth season starts.

As for the other storylines, Gwen (Jayne Meadows) and George Finley (Gene Rayburn) are a divorced couple who end up in the ship’s infirmary together. We’ve never seen the infirmary before and I assume we’ll never see it again. The two of them fall in love all over again. It tuns out Gwen was just faking her injury so she could be with George. It seems like Doc Bricker should have noticed that.

Finally, Grace Bostwick (Jane Powell) is a widow who is prevented from jumping overboard by Gabriel (Hugh O’Brian). Gabriel says he’s angel, sent from Heaven to help Grace move on from her grief. It turns out that he’s not. He’s just someone who knew Grace was suicidal and figured he would have to come up with something dramatic to keep her from plunging into the ocean. Everyone on the boat acts as if this makes total sense. Grace is very forgiving. Never has one lie been responsible for so much love.

What a weird episode. A man pretended to be an angel, Charo performed while wearing a mask, and the ship has an infirmary! Weird as it was, the episode kept me entertained. I’ve always liked Charo’s mix of sincerity and flamboyance. That said, she deserves better than Bradford York. The angel storyline was problematic for all sorts of reasons but at least Jane Powell and Hugh O’Brian gave good performances. They almost sold it. Almost.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Ruggero Deodato Edition

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been the 86th birthday of the great Italian director, Ruggero Deodato! And that, of course, means that it’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Films

Live Like A Cop, Die Like A Man (1976, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Guglielmo Mancori)

The House On The Edge of the Park (1980, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Sergio D’Offizi)

Raiders of Atlantis (1983, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Robert D’Ettore Piazzoli)

Body Count (1986, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Emilio Loffredo)

Scenes That I Love: The First Two Minutes of Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to director Amy Heckerling!

Today’s scene that I love comes from Amy Heckerling’s feature debut, 1982’s Fast Times At Ridgemont High. In just two minutes, Heckerling introduces us to almost all of the major characters, establishes the mall as the center of Ridgemont High culture, and leaves us with little doubt that we’ve entered a time machine and found ourselves in the 80s. Look at all the future stars. Look at Mike Damone, future mobster. My heart always breaks for Stacy and her brother Brad. They have no idea what’s waiting for them this year.

Here is today’s scene that I love: