Cleaning out the DVR: The Spirit of Christmas (dir by David Jackson)

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After watching Becoming Santa, it was time to continue cleaning out the DVR by watching The Spirit of Christmas, which originally premiered on Lifetime on December 19th.

According to the imdb, The Spirit of Christmas was originally titled Hollygrove. I imagine that, as often happens when Lifetime picks up a film, the network changed the title to make it a little more “Lifetimey.” And The Spirit of Christmas is a totally appropriate title. It takes place during Christmas and some of the main characters are spirits. However, I have to say that I really prefer Hollygrove as a title. Hollygrove sounds like the title of one of those gothic romances that my sisters and I love to read, the type where the covers always feature a woman in a nightgown staring back at a big dark house. (The house is usually sitting on a cliff and waves are crashing below.) This film may technically be a Christmas film but, at heart, it’s really a tribute to those wonderful paperback novels.

Kate (Jen Lilley) is a broker who, when we first meet her, is relieved that her boyfriend is breaking up with her. Kate doesn’t have time for love. Instead, she’s all about her career. She also doesn’t have time for Christmas and, therefore, she doesn’t complain when her boss asks her spend the early part of her holiday driving out to a deserted inn and assessing the property.

The inn’s pretty nice but nobody wants to spend too much time there because, according to local legend, it’s haunted by its former owner, a bootlegger named Daniel (Thomas Beaudoin). Well, you should never be too quick to dismiss local legend because, in this case, it’s true! Spending the night at the Inn, which she believes to be deserted, Kate is shocked when she runs into Daniel wandering around the hallways!

Daniel, as she soon learns, was murdered 90 years ago on Christmas. Daniel is hanging out around the Inn, still trying to figure out who murdered him and mourning his lost love, Lily (Kati Salowsky). As Kate helps Daniel try to solve his murder, she finds herself falling in love with the spirit with the hipster beard. But the holidays are nearly over, and with them Daniel’s time on Earth. And, of course, Kate’s boss is demanding that she wrap up her appraisal and get back to work…

Anyway, I totally loved The Spirit Of Christmas. Unlike some of the other Lifetime holiday movies, The Spirit of Christmas managed to mix the holidays with everything that we love about Lifetime movies — there was romance, there was murder, there was interior design, and most importantly, there were elaborate historical flashbacks. Thomas Beaudoin had great chemistry with both Jen Lilley and Kati Salowsky and the whole film ended with a wonderfully romantic dance scene. (And I absolutely loved that red dress that Kate was wearing!) This was the perfect mix of Lifetime and the holidays.

Definitely, keep an eye out for The Spirit of Christmas!

Cleaning Out the DVR: Becoming Santa (dir by Christie Will)

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy holidays! Well, the year is almost over and soon, it will be time to look back upon all of the films that Lifetime aired over 2015 and announce my picks for the best. However, before I do that, I need to take a look at the many Lifetime holiday movies that I currently have recorded on the DVR. (I also need to clear up some space for 2016 because, seriously, that DVR fills up quickly!)

That’s right, it is the season for Lifetime Christmas movies! And I’m not complaining. (Or, at the very least, I’m not complaining too much.) Myself, I love Lifetime movies because of the melodrama, the outrageous plot twists, the out-of-control teenagers, and the psycho boyfriends. Lifetime Christmas movies tend to be a bit more life-affirming than your typical Lifetime film. After spending 11 months watching films like Stolen From The Suburbs, Cleveland Abduction, The Bride He Bought Online, and A Deadly Adoption, it takes a bit of adjustment to then watch something like Becoming Santa. It’s not that Becoming Santa doesn’t have its own merits. It’s just that it’s so dramatically different from what we usually expect to see on Lifetime.

Becoming Santa was the first movie that I rewatched in my attempt to clean out the DVR for the holidays. It originally aired on Lifetime on December 12th.

Conner (Jesse Hutch) works for a toy company and is frustrated by the fact that he can’t get children to put down their phones long enough to get excited over a toy horse that he wants to mass produce. However, despite his work frustrations, Conner is still happy because he’s in love with Holly Claus (Laura Bell Bundy). In fact, he’s decided that the Christmas holiday would be the perfect time to ask Holly to marry him. But first, he wants to get the blessing of Holly’s father.

That might be difficult, Holly explains, because her parents live up north. Way up north.

However, Conner will not be dissuaded. And, before you can say Meet The Parents and Little Fockers, Conner is heading up north to meet Holly’s parents. Of course, on the way up north, Conner is conveniently passed out while Holly takes him through the secret portal that leads to the North Pole…

That’s right! Holly Claus is the daughter of Santa Claus (Michael Gross) and Mrs. Santa (Meredith Baxter). It takes Conner a while to realize this, though the fact that his future father-in-law has a big white beard and employs an elf named Mario (Gabe Khouth) should have been a big clue. However, once Conner does figure it out, he’s okay with it.

But will he be okay with the fact that, if he marries Holly, he’ll be expected to take over the role of Santa Claus? And, for that matter, how can klutzy Conner hope to compete with Holly’s ex-boyfriend, Jack Frost (Tony Cavalero)? After all, Jack and Holly have so much in common…

As far as Lifetime holiday movies are concerned, I thought Becoming Santa was actually really cute. The entire cast had a really sweet chemistry, Gabe Khouth brought an unexpected edge to the character of Mario the Elf, and Tony Cavalero was a lot of fun as Jack Frost. Yes, I did have a hard time believing that Conner would miss so many obvious clues as to who Holly’s parents truly were but then again, it’s a Christmas movie on Lifetime. It’s probably not too much to ask us to suspend our disbelief just a little bit!

Becoming Santa was a sweet movie. It’s scheduled to be rebroadcast on Lifetime on Christmas Day.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #146: A Fatal Obsession (dir by James Camali)

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the premiere of A Fatal Obsession on the Lifetime Movie Network!

Why Was I Watching It?

So, for the past month, Lifetime has exclusively been showing holiday movies. And don’t get me wrong — I love the holidays, I enjoy holiday movies, and I’m certainly not complaining. I can understand why Lifetime has made the programming choice that they have and, during this week, keep an eye out for my reviews of all of those Lifetime Christmas movies. But, at the same time, I have been missing the melodrama that made Lifetime famous. So, when I saw that the Lifetime Movie Network would be premiering a movie that had nothing to do with Santa Claus, I simply had to watch!

What Was It About?

Michael Ryan (Eric Roberts) is a horror author who is not just famous for giving his readers nightmares. He’s also famous for being a recovering alcoholic. Except, he’s not really in recovery. Instead, he’s still drinking, he’s still violent, and he’s still dangerous abusive. When his wife, photographer Christie (Tracy Nelson), and teenage daughter, Miri (Remington Moses) finally leave him, Michael spirals into madness. Soon, Michael has vanished and Christie’s best friend turns up dead.

Could Michael still be out there, trying to track down his wife and daughter? He could be. Then again, Christie and Miri have met a lot of other strange characters since starting their new life. Their neighbors, Ben (George Saunders) and his sullen son, Kyle (Colin Chase), seem to be a little bit off. And then, of course, there’s Harrison (David Winning), the aspiring actor who has hired Christie to take his headshots….

What Worked?

Oh my God, this is one of the most melodramatic, over-the-top, implausible films that I’ve ever seen so, of course, I had to love it. Improbable plot twists? Gloating villains? Forbidden love? Questionable life choices? This film had it all and thank the television Gods for that!

I also really liked the look of the film. The snowy and overcast images were wonderfully chilly and atmospheric, giving the entire movie a dream-like atmosphere.

And, on top of all that, you had Eric Roberts doing his Eric Roberts thing. Roberts is such an eccentric actor that he’s always interesting to watch, regardless of the role. And he actually did a pretty good job, creating a frighteningly plausible portrait of a serial abuser.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Naturally, I related to the character of Meri, the intelligent but rebellious daughter who was struggling to deal with all the ugliness around her. Remington Moses did a good job and was believable in her struggle to deal with her family’s legacy of abuse.

Lessons Learned

Just because your paranoid, that doesn’t mean that people aren’t out to get you.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 92010 Story (dir by Vanessa Parise) and The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story (dir by Mark Griffiths)

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, it’s finally done! A week ago, I started the process of cleaning out my DVR. I’ve lost track of how many movies that I have watched and reviewed. And now, finally, I can say that I have finally reached a stopping point. When I started this process, I only had 5 hours of space left on my DVR. I now have 48 hours of space.

I’m reviewing my final two “DVR” films in one post because they really do go together. But before I get to the review, here’s a little background. Lifetime now has it’s very own version of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. True, it hasn’t proven as popular as the MCU nor have any of the films been as critically acclaimed as Guardians of the Galaxy or the first Avengers. But, all the same, these four Lifetime films share a common continuity. Call it the Lifetime Cinematic Universe. LCU for short.

I’m talking, of course, about the Unauthorized films. In these films, Lifetime takes us behind the scenes of an iconic old television show. The first of these films was the absolutely terrible The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story. Then, earlier this year, we got the not-terrible-but-extremely-forgettable Unauthorized Full House Story. Finally, on October 3rd and the 9th, Lifetime broadcast the latest two entries in the LCU — The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 Story and The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story.

I was on vacation when both of those films were originally broadcast but, fortunately, my sister had the foresight to set the DVR to record both of them! YAY!

(Seriously, my sister’s the best.)

Of the two films, The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 film was definitely the best. In fact, it’s definitely the best of the LCU films to be released so far. The film starts with a teenage Tori Spelling (played by Abby Ross, who is a lot prettier than the real Tori Spelling will ever be) convincing her father, producer Aaron Spelling (Dan Castellenata), to take a chance on a TV show about high school students. Spelling recruits Darren Starr (Adam Korson) to run the show and together they cast a group of hopeful performers and fight with the nervous TV execs who worry about the slightest bit of controversy.

They also have to deal with lead actress Shannen Doherty (Samantha Munro), who proves herself to be as difficult as she is talented. Whereas the Saved By The Bell and Full House films suffered because of a lack of behind-the-scenes drama, The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 film is all about conflict. From the minute that we first see Shannen, she’s making sure that everyone knows that she’s the star. And yet, despite that, Shannen Doherty remains a compelling and sympathetic character. Samantha Munro (who played Anya on my beloved Degrassi) gives a wonderfully complex performance. When she eventually ends up trying to beat up Jennie Garth (Abbie Cobb, who also appeared on the 90210 reboot), it’s more than just a cat fight. It’s Shannen declaring that she’s a star and she’s not going to let anyone push her to the side. And, even if Jennie hasn’t really done anything to deserve being called out, the film ultimately makes the case that Shannen, alone out of the cast, was the one who understood how Hollywood actually worked. Shannen’s a fighter because she knows the only other option is to be a victim.

Director Vanessa Parise does a good job keeping the action moving and giving us a glimpse of what it’s suddenly like to be world-famous. Some of the film’s best sequences are just the camera tracking through the studio, giving us a look of each star in his or her dressing room and providing a glimpse into the different personalities who make up the show’s ensemble. As opposed to the previous Unauthorized films, you finish the Beverly Hills 90210 Story feeling that it was a story worth telling.

One final note — Alyssa Lynch, who played Tiffani-Amber Thiessen in The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell, shows up playing the same role in Unauthorized 90210. It’s a nice nod to continuity.

The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story picks up where Beverly Hills 90210 ends. Darren Starr (Korson again) decides that he wants to do a show about people in their 20s. Aaron Spelling (Castellenata, again) agrees to produce. Once again, we get a lot of scenes of nervous network executives trying to tell Starr and Spelling what they can and can not do on television.

There’s a great scene in Unauthorized Melorse Place in which Heather Locklear (Ciara Hanna) strolls out on the soundstage, smirks, and says, “Did anyone order a bitch?” It’s a great line (and one that I’ve been using ever since I first saw the commercials for Unauthorized Melrose) but, unfortunately, Locklear’s just talking about her character. Whereas Unauthorized 90210 was all about conflict, Unauthorized Melrose seems to be about how well people get along behind the scenes.

True, there’s a few scenes where the actresses compete for the spotlight and there are hints of jealousy among the cast. Actor Doug Savant (Joseph John Coleman) gets upset because the network won’t let his gay character have a substantial storyline. Otherwise, there doesn’t appear to have been much drama behind the scenes at Melrose Place. That’s a good thing for the people who worked on the show but it doesn’t exactly make for a very compelling unauthorized story.

Along with the characters of Darren Starr and the Spelling family, both the Unauthorized Beverly Hills Story and the Unauthorized Melrose Place Story have one other thing in common, a shared joke. Both films feature actors talking about losing a role to Brad Pitt and someone else replying with, “Who?” It’s kind of an obvious joke but, again, I always appreciate continuity.

And that’s it! With these two reviews, I have now not only cleaned out my DVR but I have reviewed every single original film that has appeared, in the year so far, on both the Lifetime network and SyFy! Thank you for your indulgence and I now return you to regularly scheduled programming…

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: A Mother Betrayed (dir by Michael Feifer)

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I finished up my review of Seeds of Yesterday, it was time to rewatch and review A Mother Betrayed. Last Sunday, A Mother Betrayed premiered on Lifetime. I watched it and I had a lot of fun live-tweeting it. Seriously, it’s a fun movie.

The plot may, at first, sound similar to Dangerous Company but A Mother Betrayed quickly establishes it own nicely berserk identity. When we first meet Monica (Lynn Collins) and Jonathan (David Paetku), they’re standing on the beach and declaring their love for each other. Since this is a Lifetime movie, we know that early declarations of undying love will only lead to tragedy. Sure enough, Monica and Jonathan are soon in a car accident. Monica, who was pregnant at the time, survives. Jonathan does not.

Just forward 3 years and Monica is now a single mother who is obsessed with her job (she’s in charge of an architectural firm) and her daughter, Maddy (Ariella and Isabella Nurkovic). At a party, her assistant, Lisa (Bree Williamson) introduces her to a single man named Kevin (Adam Kaufman). Within a few minutes of meeting, Monica and Kevin are in love. Ignoring the concerns of her mother (Joanna Cassidy), Monica marries Kevin. Kevin adopts Maddy and appears to be both the perfect father and the perfect husband.

But is he!?

Well, the name of the movie is A Mother Betrayed…

It turns out that Kevin has plans of his own and Lisa, the perfect assistant, is a part of them. Of course, what’s interesting is that Maddy is a part of Kevin’s scheme as well. No, Maddy is not conspiring against her mother. However, it quickly becomes obvious that Kevin really does love Maddy and he actually is a pretty good father. He wants to take over Monica’s business because he’s greedy but he wants custody of Maddy because he appears to genuinely love her. That plot development brings an unexpected amount of depth to this Lifetime movie.

(And other plot development that I, speaking as an administrative assistant who happens to be named Lisa, appreciated was that the movie’s Lisa actually made a pretty good point when she eventually taunted Monica by pointing out that Lisa was doing a better job running the company than Monica ever did. Up to that point, everything that we had seen in the movie seemed to indicate that Lisa was correct. Between Kevin’s parenting and Lisa’s efficiency, the villains of A Mother Betrayed were nicely nuanced.)

Much as in Dangerous Company, Monica soon finds herself suffering from terrible headaches, forgetfulness, and even hallucinations. Kevin arranges for Monica to be committed because, in the tradition of all paranoia thrillers, literally everyone appears to be in on the plot — even the doctors!

However, Monica is not alone! She starts to see Jonathan. Is she hallucinating or has his spirit really returned to help her?

A Mother Betrayed was a lot of fun and I recommend it to everyone who wants to watch an enjoyably over-the-top Lifetime melodrama. The entire cast does a pretty good job, with Adam Kaufman even managing to generate some sympathy for the duplicitous Kevin. (Seriously, Kevin is so good with Maddy!)

Finally, on a strictly personal note, there’s no way that I couldn’t appreciate a film that features an administrative assistant named Lisa. Finally, a character to which I could relate!

Seriously though, Lifetime replays their movies constantly. A Mother Betrayed is one to keep an eye out for.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Seeds of Yesterday (dir by Shawn Ku)

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For this past week, I’ve both been dealing with a sprained foot (and it’s doing much better, thank you very much) and I’ve been cleaning out my DVR. As I woke up this morning, I realized that I only had four more movies left in the DVR that I needed to watch and review. So, I decided to jump right into things and I finally watch Seeds of Yesterday.

Seeds of Yesterday serves as a sequel to Flowers in the Attic, Petals on the Wind, and If There Be Thorns. Like those three previous films, Seeds of Yesterday is based on a novel by V.C. Andrews and premiered on the Lifetime network. Seeds of Yesterday was originally broadcast on April 12th and, considering how much I enjoyed Flowers and Thorns, I’m not sure why I missed Seeds. Maybe drugs were involved, who knows?

Anyway, Seeds of the Yesterday continues the story of the Dollangangers, the family that simply cannot stop literally and figuratively fucking each other. As the film opens, 13 years have passed since the end of If There Be Thorns. Bart (James Maslow) is now a 25 year-old religious fanatic. Since learning, in Thorns, that his parents were actually brother-and-sister, Bart wants nothing to do with them. He has even changed his last name to Foxworth, in honor of his evil great-grandfather, Malcolm. Bart has rebuilt Foxworth Hall and, on the occasion of his birthday, he invites his estranged family to come visit him.

Jory (Anthony Konechy) is now a ballet star and is married to an emotionally fragile dancer named Melodie (Leah Gibson). The parents, Chris (Jason Lewis) and Cathy (Rachel Carpani), have finally come to peace with the fact that they are also brother and sister. And then there’s adopted daughter Cindy (Sammi Hanratty), who Bart considers to be sinful even while he lusts after her. When all of these people arrive at Foxworth Hall, they are excited to learn that Melodie is pregnant.

Well, everyone’s excited except for Bart. Bart not only lusts after his stepsister but also after his sister-in-law. Bart does a lot of lusting in general.

For some reason, Bart has demanded that Jory and Melodie perform a dance from Samson and Delilah at his birthday party. However, since Melodie is pregnant, she can’t dance. (“You’re not even showing!” Bart snaps, angrily.) Instead, Cindy says that she’ll be Bart’s dance partner and, on the night of the performance, a huge piece of scenery falls on Bart and severs his spine. Bart will never dance, walk, or make love again…

So now, Melodie is depressed and can’t bring herself to even visit Jory in the hospital. She discovers that Jory will never be able to have sex again so, instead, she and Bart start fucking. Bart, however, is still lusting after Cindy and complaining that everyone around him is a sinner…

And it goes on like that for about 90 minutes and then the movie’s over.

On a strictly personal level, I enjoyed Seeds of Yesterday because it had a lot of sex, a lot of overacting, a lot of gorgeous clothes, some dancing, and a big mansion. But, for the most part, Seeds of Yesterday is a total mess that never really makes much sense. I have not read the original novel but just taking a quick look at its Wikipedia page reveals that a lot of plot and quite a few characters were left out of the adaptation. Obviously, there’s only so much you can put into an 88 minute movie but, in the end, Seeds of Yesterday still fills rushed and overly busy. All the characters are so busy scheming schemes and having melodramatic confrontations that you never really get any sort of emotional insight into them. All in all, Seeds of Yesterday is a disappointing end to fairly entertaining series of films.

That said, we should give praise to James Maslow. From the minute that Bart shows up, it’s obvious that he’s batshit insane and, for lack of a better term, Maslow “goes there.” His performance is so enjoyably melodramatic (and, just so there’s no understanding, perfectly appropriate for the material that he’s been given to work with) that he elevates the entire film.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Buried Secrets (dir by Monika Mitchell)

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, as you know if you’re one of our regular readers, I am currently in the process of cleaning out my DVR. That means that I’ve spent this week watching and reviewing a countless number of Lifetime and SyFy films. It’s been fun and I do love watching Lifetime films but I also have to admit that I’m glad to see that I only have 8 films left to go.

Earlier today, I continued to make progress by watching Buried Secrets. Buried Secrets originally aired on October 25th, on the Lifetime Movie Network. I didn’t get to see it when it originally aired because I was busy dancing in my underwear at a Halloween party. Fortunately, that’s why we have DVRs!

So, how to describe the plot of Buried Secrets? Seriously, it’s not easy as you might assume. There is a lot of stuff going on in Buried Secrets. In fact, it’s probably one of the most convoluted Lifetime films that I’ve ever seen. But let’s give it a shot:

Sarah Winters (Sarah Clarke) was a police detective who was involved in investigating the mysterious murder of police informant, Derrick Saunders (Fulvio Cecere). However, before Sarah could solve the crime, she was accused of corruption and kicked off the force. Sarah, of course, was totally innocent and she feels that she was set up by one of her fellow detectives, Joan Mueller (Veena Sood). Mueller is now chief-of-police, largely because of the attention she gained by accusing Sarah of being corrupt.

Sarah also has a teenage daughter (Angela de Lieva) and a mother (Gabrielle Rose), who she doesn’t get along with. This is largely because Sarah was adopted and she is upset because her adoptive mother refuses to give her any information about her biological parents.

Since Sarah is no longer on the force, she writes a novel that becomes a best seller. The novel is based on the murder of Derrick Saunders and features an incompetent, untrustworthy detective named Meckler. When Mueller demands to know if Meckler is based on her, Sarah says that she is. In the real world, this would lead to Sarah being sued for libel and probably being driven to bankruptcy.

However, this is Lifetime world! Mueller is concerned about much more than the real identity of Detective Meckler. Mueller thinks that the book contains details of the crime, which prove that Sarah was the murderer.

Meanwhile, Sarah’s boyfriend, Barry (Dan Payne), is working on the security detail of Mayor Harding (Sarah-Jane Redmond). Harding is running for reelection but it looks like she might be on the verge of losing her office. So, Harding starts to sleep with Barry to get information about Sarah. Mayor Harding has decided that if she campaigns on a platform that calls for banning Sarah’s book, she’ll win reelection.

And yes, that makes absolutely no sense but just go with it.

Meanwhile, there’s a mysterious homeless-looking guy (Teach Grant) and he keeps popping up at the strangest times. He shows up at a book singing. He follows Sarah’s daughter in the park. And, of course, he spends a lot of time at the local DNA lab…

Okay, so you might think, after reading all of this, that Buried Secrets doesn’t make much sense. And it doesn’t! But that, to be honest, is the film’s main appeal. Since Buried Secrets refuses to be tied down by logic, that means that literally anything can happen! At it’s best, Buried Secrets creates its own hyper realized world, where everything is just a bit over-the-top and strange. It’s a world where a major municipal election hinges on banning a novel, where book signings are fraught with drama and peril, and where one teenager can change an entire city’s mind just by grabbing a microphone and giving an impassioned speech. It’s all so strange that there’s no way not to enjoy it.

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: The Wrong Girl (dir by Jason Bourque)

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I wrote my review of Caught and watched the latest episodes of Survivor and South Park, it was time for me to continue cleaning out the DVR by re-watching and reviewing The Wrong Girl. The Wrong Girl premiered on Lifetime on May 16th of this year. At the time that it originally aired, I was in the middle of doing my Embracing The Melodrama, Part II series of reviews and I simply did not have the opportunity to properly review it. But fortunately, I did DVR it.

The Wrong Girl tells the story of Sophie Allen (Sarah Grey), a teenager who is intelligent, responsible, fairly chaste, and a talented pianist. She’s the dream teenager but one day, she meets and befriends the new girl in school, Michelle (Kirsten Prout).

At first, Michelle — with her oversized glasses and her social awkwardness — seems like she’s just shy and introverted. But, the more that she hangs out with Sophie, the more another side of Michelle starts to emerge. It soon becomes obvious that Michelle is obsessed with being Sophie’s friend and more than a little possessive. She’s also a bad influence, telling Sophie that she’s playing well when she clearly is not. When Sophie’s music teacher says she doesn’t want Michelle hanging out around piano practice, Michelle goes to extreme methods to change her mind. When a condescending English teacher threatens to fail Sophie, Michelle blackmails him into changing his mind.

But then Sophie starts to feel that Michelle is getting too possessive and Michelle starts to turn against her “best friend.” Michelle starts to dress and do her hair exactly like Sophie and then Sophie catches Michelle making out with her crush. Someone breaks into Michelle’s mother’s office and throws stuff around. When Sophie makes the mistake of telling Michelle that she’s scared of spiders, can anyone really be surprised when a huge spider suddenly shows up creeping across her piano in the middle of a recital?

The Wrong Girl starts out as a typical Lifetime “obsessive friendship” film but, once Sophie starts to investigate Michelle’s background, there’s a plot twist that pushes The Wrong Girl over the line from melodrama to over the top craziness. And that’s okay! The over-the-top craziness is one reason why people like me tend to love Lifetime movies!

Sarah Grey and Kirsten Prout are both well-cast, director Jason Bourque keeps the action moving at a good pace, and you get to hear a lot of really good piano music. Kara Veri is credited as playing the piano and she does a great job! The Wrong Girl is enjoyable fun, the exact type of movie that justifies why so many of us watch Lifetime.

(On a purely administrative note: With this review, I have 8 more films to watch and review and then my DVR will be officially cleaned out!)

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: Caught (dir by Maggie Kiley)

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since I’m still in the process of recovering from my sprained foot, I am spending today at home. And I have to tell you that this whole resting and taking it easy thing is starting to drive me crazy! Other than a very short police standoff in Arlington, there was absolutely nothing interesting on TV this afternoon. So, in an effort to stave off impending boredom, I decided to continue cleaning out my DVR.

I just finished watching Caught, a film which made its Lifetime premiere on November 7th. (I missed it because I was out celebrating my upcoming birthday with my friends in the SBS. Sexy Bitch Squad Forever!!!) Much like Stockholm, Pennsylvania, Caught was originally meant to be a theatrical release. It played at a few film festivals earlier this year until it was finally picked up by Lifetime.

And watching Caught, it’s easy to see why it ended up going straight to television. It’s not that Caught is a bad movie (especially when compared to the turgid mess that was Stockholm, Pennsylvania). It’s just that there’s nothing really cinematic about Caught. There’s no one moment or scene that makes you think, “I really wish I could see this on a big screen.” From the start, Caught feels as if it was tailor-made for Lifetime and that’s where it belongs.

And again, that’s not a criticism. I’ve lost track of how many of them that I’ve reviewed on this site but, by now, you should have no doubt that I happen to like Lifetime movies.

Caught opens with teenager Allie (Stefanie Scott) having a bad day. Because she’s failing some of her classes, she’s been kicked off the school’s track team. When she’s not sleeping through class or going for a run, Allie works at a resteraunt, where her boss just happens to be her mother (Mary B. McCann). After a day of dealing with bad grades and rude customers, Allie is looking forward to continuing her affair with the much older, Justin (Sam Page). However, once Allie’s mom meets Justin, she declares that she no longer wants Allie to see him.

And then, to top it all off, Allie gets kidnapped and ends up chained to a chair in an attic.

Who has kidnapped Allie? Well, judging from such previous Lifetime movies as The Bride He Bought Online and Stolen From The Suburbs, the obvious answer would be the Russian Mafia but, in Allie’s case, the obvious answer is wrong. Instead, she has been kidnapped by two sisters who aren’t really sure what they’re planning on doing with her. The younger of the two, Paige (Amelia Rose Blaire), is a shy introvert who starts to have second thoughts almost immediately. The older sister is Sabrina (Anna Camp). Sabrina masterminded the abduction. Sabrina also happens to be married to Justin…

Now, I have to admit, that I had my doubts when this movie started. Allie seemed like such a boring character that it was difficult for me to get emotionally invested in … well, in anything that she was involved with. When her coach told her she was off the team, I thought to myself, “You should have paid attention in class.” When her mom yelled at her for being late to work, I thought to myself, “I’m glad that I’ve never had to really work hard for a living.” And when Justin showed up, I shrugged and thought, “Why wouldn’t the two most boring people on Earth be drawn to each other?”

But then Allie got kidnapped and I quickly realized that Allie’s blandness may have very well been intentional. Because, ultimately, Caught is not about Allie. Instead, Caught is totally about Sabrina and, even more importantly, it’s about Anna Camp’s thoroughly wonderful performance in the lead role. Sabrina is totally batshit insane and Camp has a lot of fun playing that aspect of her personality. And, because she is so insane and so neurotic about trying to hide that fact, Sabrina is also the only interesting person in the entire movie. Throughout Caught, she struggles so hard to keep the kidnapping from going wrong that it’s hard not to sympathize with her. It didn’t matter what happened, I found myself on Sabrina’s side. Really, I found myself thinking, Sabrina just killed a cop? Well, maybe he shouldn’t have insisted on trying to search the house even after she told him it wasn’t necessary! Oh, did Sabrina just threaten to kill someone else? Well, maybe everyone just needs to get off her back, y’know!? Sabrina’s like a suburban hostess watching in terror as a drunk uncle and an out-of-control pre-schooler team up to destroy her dinner party. It’s up to her to somehow clean up the mess while continually to assure all of her guests that all is well, even when it obvious is not. Sabrina may say some hateful things during the movie but she always manages to say them all with a smile. Quite frankly, we could all learn a listen from Sabrina.

Once you realize that Caught is totally about Sabrina (and, even more importantly, totally about Anna Camp’s lead performance), it actually works fairly well.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Cleveland Abduction (dir by Alex Kalymnios)

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I finished up Ominous, it was time to deal with Cleveland Abduction. Why was it something that I had to “deal with?” Well, I originally watched Cleveland Abduction when it was broadcast on Lifetime way back in May. I meant to review it when I originally watched it but, every time I sat down to write about this movie, I just couldn’t. Just thinking about the movie and the true story that inspired it was too overwhelming and upsetting. Cleveland Abduction is one of the most disturbing and depressing (and yet also inspiring) movies that I’ve ever seen. It’s certainly the most emotionally intense film to ever be made for Lifetime.

A friend of mine actually told me that she could only watch 15 minutes of Cleveland Abduction and then had to stop because she didn’t want the film’s ugliness to get inside her head. And I don’t blame her. Cleveland Abduction is an ugly film about three young women who were kidnapped, held prisoner, and repeatedly raped by an evil man. The film does not flinch from showing the details of their ordeal and it is all the more disturbing for being based on a true story.

I don’t know if I believe in demons or possession or anything like that but I do know that Ariel Castro was an evil man. Castro, a school bus driver and wannabe musician, abducted Michelle Knight, Gina DeJesus, and Amanda Berry off the streets of Cleveland. For 11 years, he held them prisoner in his filthy house. (Disturbingly, some of Castro’s neighbors actually saw the girls in the house but refused to get involved.) Rather than face a jury and spend the rest of his life as imprisoned as the three women he held captive in his house, Castro committed suicide in his jail cell.

The film centers on Castro’s first known victim, single mother Michelle Knight (a poignant performance from Taryn Manning, who perfectly captures Michelle’s quiet strength). Castro (played, in properly brutal fashion, by Raymond Cruz) runs into Michelle while she’s walking to court to try to win custody of her son. Castro offers her a ride and Michelle agrees. Castro takes her back to his house and her 11-year nightmare begins.

And it’s not easy to watch, nor should it be. The film doesn’t shy away from showing what Michelle and, eventually, the other two victims went through. Spending her days either handcuffed or in a locked bedroom, Michelle’s only escape comes from thinking about her son. When the other two girls are abducted, Michelle comforts them and help them to remain strong. Meanwhile, on the outside, the police assume that Michelle has just run away from her old life and they refuse to even look for her.

It’s ugly and disturbing and difficult and infuriating to watch. As I watched, I continually asked myself if I would be able to survive if I ever found myself in the same situation. I always like to assume that, since I always have pepper spray and I’m a fairly god runner, nobody would ever be able to abduct me but, as I sit here couch-bound with a sprained foot, I know that it’s never that simple. I also like to assume that I could be as strong as Michelle Knight. Hopefully, I’ll never have to find out.

But here’s the thing — as disturbing and nightmarish as this film has to be — it’s ultimately a very inspiring film. For all the ugliness, Cleveland Abduction is ultimately a film about survival and tribute to the strength, courage, and sisterhood of Michelle Knight, Gina DeJesus, and Amanda Berry. Based on Michelle’s book and featuring a compelling lead performance from Taryn Manning, Cleveland Abduction is not an easy film to watch but it is one that should be watched.