Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
Are you ready to get back into T and T?
Yeah, me neither.
But I made a commitment to review the show so here we go!
Episode 3.11 “A Place In History”
(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 17th, 1990)
Phil (Sean McCann), the new cut man at Decker’s gym, impresses everyone when he throws one solid punch that breaks the nose of a cocky boxer. Phil tells them that he learned how to take care of himself back when he was better known as Lucky O’Mara.
OH MY GOD, everyone says, LUCKY O’MARA!
Apparently, in the 50s, Lucky O’Mara was a gangster who was famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. His picture was never taken and his mysterious disappearance led to a legend growing all over Canada about what happened to Lucky O’Mara. (He was the Toronto version of D.B. Cooper, I suppose.) After the local media gets wind of Phil’s story, he becomes a celebrity. Everyone wants to interview Lucky O’Mara. And at least one person — a veteran mafia hitman — wants to kill Lucky O’Mara.
Only Turner, Terri, and Detective Hargrove are skeptical of Phil’s story. When Hargrove summons Phil to the police station and announces that he’s going to be arrested for a murder that Hargrove says Lucky committed, Phil comes clean and admits that he’s not Lucky. And it all turns out that Phil wasn’t going to be arrested anyway. It was just a clever ruse on the part of Hargrove and Terri.
At the end of the episode, Phil is back to working as a cut man and no one at the gym seems to be all that upset about him lying to them. Phil tells Turner that he actually is Lucky O’Mara. Turner shrugs.
Wow, what a nothing episode. The idea was intriguing but the episode did little with it. You kind of have to wonder how it is that a busy policeman like Hargrove and a busy attorney like Terri have time to fake arrest someone. I mean, aren’t there real arrests that need to be made? Worst of all, T.S. Turner spent most of this episode sitting in his office. He didn’t growl at anyone. He didn’t threaten anyone. He didn’t get mad at anyone. What’s the point of T and T if you’re not going to use the T that most people are probably watching for?
This episode was typical of the third season of T and T. It didn’t add up too much and Mr. T really didn’t seem like he wanted to be there anymore. I know how he feels but there’s only a few more episodes to go and I’m going to review everyone of them.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, season one of T and T comes to a close!
Episode 1.23 “Working It Out”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on June 23rd, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “push turns to shove and shove turns to ugly as a battle of sexes rages at Decker’s gym.”
Of all of the supporting characters who have been featured during the first season of T and T, Decker (played by David Nerman) has been the most prominent. That makes sense when you consider that each first season episode features at least a few minutes of T.S. Turner throwing jabs in a boxing ring or hitting the punching bag in Decker’s Gym. Decker is T.S.’s best friend. He may not be smart but he is loyal.
This episode finds Decker in a bit of quandary because Jessie (Allison Mang) wants to join the gym but, when she brings in the membership fee, Decker is shocked to discover that Jessie can also be a girl’s name! Decker’s gym is full of men who like to walk around in towels and say stuff like, “Where do you think you’re going, little girl?” Decker says the gym is men only.
(Myself, I don’t know why anyone would want to join Decker’s shabby little gym, which looks like it reeks of sweat.)
Amy decides to sue for her right to use the gym and she hires Amy Taler. Amy sends T.S. Turner down to Decker’s gym to talk to him about letting Jessie join. Decker explains he has no problem with Jessie joining but gym bully Madigan (Kevin Lund) doesn’t want to any girls to join. How much of a bully is Madigan? His nickname is Mad Dog and he even accuses T.S. of “getting soft!”
Meanwhile, Amy informs Jessie that the gym is a public business and therefore anyone can join. She also points out that there are other gyms in Canada, some of which are co-ed and women only. Jessie says that Decker’s sweaty, shabby gym — which, I would add, has been the scene of several major crimes since this season began — is the closest to her house. Personally, I would happily add a few minutes to my trip so that I could join a gym that doesn’t look like the set of a bad 70s porno but what do I know?
“She’s effeminate, isn’t she?” Sophie asks Amy about Jessie.
“You mean a feminist?” Amy replies.
“Yeah,” Sophie nods.
Amy rolls her eyes without answering Sophie’s question. Personally, I’m wondering how Sophie went from being a computer expert in one episode to not knowing what a feminist is in this episode.
Back at the gym, Decker tries to talk Madigan into accepting Jessie as a member of the gym. Decker tells Madigan that the men of the gym will just have to stop walking around without any clothes on. “We’re working out and sweating!” Madigan replies, “It makes sense to walk around without any clothes on!” And maybe Madigan would have a point if he was living in ancient Sparta but this is Toronto!
Decker goes to the law office, to talk to Amy. Decker is worried that Madigan will kill Jessie. Amy suggests turning his gym into a private club so that he can bar women from joining and offers to draw up the papers for him. Whose side are you on, Amy!?
The next day, when Jessie shows up at the gym, Madigan and every guy in the gym walks out. Only T.S. Turner stays to support Decker and Jessie. When the guys fail to return the next day, Turner says, “Who cares? I’m here. Jessie’s here. Amy’s here.”
Decker points out that everyone who left is going to want a refund on their membership fees and he’s not going to have the money to keep the gym open. Decker will soon lose his business but at least Jessie didn’t have to spend an extra 5 or 10 minutes driving to a gym that doesn’t have a history of people being murdered in the locker rooms.
Later, when Jessie is out jogging, she’s approached by Madigan who explains that Turner has set up a “fitness test” at the gym to prove that Jessie has what it takes to be a member. Jessie hasn’t heard anything about this and — oh no! Is Madigan trying to trick Jessie into returning to the gym so that he and his evil friends can attack her!? No, actually, it turns out that Turner actually did set up the fitness test but no one bothered to tell Jessie, which would seem to defeat the purpose of the whole thing.
(Amy says that Jessie left the gym before giving Turner a chance to explain his plan to her but why couldn’t he just call her and tell her? I mean, I know this show is set in Canada but surely Jessie has a phone. It’s not like they’re in Manitoba.)
Later, Amy takes Jessie to the gym, where Turner is waiting. “Oh, Amy!” Turner says, “That’s a nice dress you have on. You got plans?”
“Dinner date,” Amy says.
“Don’t stay out too late,” Turner growls.
Anyway, the fitness test ends in a tie, which means that Jessie didn’t beat Madigan. This is a problem because, as Madigan points out, Turner specifically said that Jessie would have to win to join the gym. Jessie admits that “Mad Dog” Madigan is right. Decker suggests letting the membership vote. (Why didn’t you just do that to begin with, Decker!?) Madigan says he wants to fight Turner without gloves.
“Now I see why they call you Mad Dog,” Turner replies before removing his jacket in slow motion and then flattening Madigan with one punch.
So, Jessie gets to join the gym, all because one man knocked out another.
“You know, Jessie,” Amy says, “I think you may have started a revolution.”
Anyway, this was a silly episode. Jessie absolutely should have been allowed to join the gym, if she really wanted to spend her time at that ugly, foul-smelling hub of crime. But the episode’s main message appeared to be that you can accomplish anything as long as Mr. T is around to beat up anyone standing in your way.
Episode 1.24 “Now You See It”
(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on June 20th, 1988)
Amy — and not T.S. — provides the introduction for the finale episode of season one. “In this episode,” she tells us, “a psychic sees through a violent drug rip-off but no one is willing to listen.”
Despite not doing the intro for this episode, T.S. is still present. At the courthouse, after Amy wins an acquittal for a shoplifter named Billy (Simon Reynolds, the stockboy from one of the other Canadian shows that I’m reviewing for Retro Television Reviews, Check It Out.). T.S. tells Billy, “Look here, little brother, if you want to change your life, meet me at Decker’s Gym.” Is he going to try to set Billy up with Jessie? T.S. leaves to buy the Billy a sandwich, which means that Amy is alone when she meets Emma (Gwynneth Walsh), a psychic who wants to sue the the police for firing her because they didn’t like her vision of what happened when a heroin dealer was murdered in a warehouse.
Amy agrees to sue the police — specifically Detective Thompson (A.C. Peterson) — for being rude to the psychic. As she later tells T.S., it may seem like a small thing but it’s important to her. “Sometimes,” T.S. replies, “it’s the small things that matter.”
Thompson agrees to apologize to Emma. After he does so, Amy snaps, “You can stop playing the nice guy! You’re off the hook!” And, of course, Thompson isn’t a nice guy. He’s the one killing the drug dealers! T.S. figures this out when Billy tells him that he doesn’t want to deal drugs anymore because “the streets are dry” and T.S. has a series of black-and-white flashbacks to Thompson talking about the dead drug dealers.
Anyway, Thompson is captured and season one ends with an episode that attempted to cram 60 minutes worth of plot into just 30 minutes. Overstuffed episodes were a frequent issue when it came to T and T‘s first season.
The first season can best be described as being uneven. The show was at its best when it took advantage of Mr. T’s unique screen presence. Though he definitely didn’t have the greatest range as an actor, Mr. T did show some comedic timing. The show struggled whenever it didn’t focus on T.S. Turner and oddly, that happened in more than a few episodes, as if Mr. T wasn’t the main reason why anyone would be watching this show to begin with. As a character, there was nothing particularly consistent about Amy, who was sometimes brilliant and sometimes woefully naïve. The supporting cast was frequently underused, though Catherine Disher had a few funny moments as Sophie. Seen today, the show is a time capsule of Canada in the late 80s and that is perhaps the main reason to watch it.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
Tonight’s episode is directed by a future Oscar nominee and a multiple Genie winner!
Episode 1.3 “Cupid’s Quiver”
(Dir by Atom Egoyan, originally aired on October 12th, 1987)
This week’s cursed antique is a statue of Cupid that shoots neon arrows at women and causes those targeted to fall madly in love with the statue’s owner. Unfortunately, the curse kicks in when the owner of the statue is then forced to murder the woman who is now in love with him. Yikes! What a mean statue.
When we first see the statue, it belongs to a frat boy who uses the statue at a club. After the frat boy is arrested for murder, possession of the statue falls to a total loser named Eddie Monroe (Denis Forest). Eddie is a janitor and groundskeeper at a local college. He’s the type of guy who hardly anyone ever notices and even those who do notice him think that he is a complete creep. Eddie is obsessed with a student named Laurie Warren (Carolyn Dunn), following her around campus and taking pictures of her. He’s even built an elaborate shrine to her in his apartment, one where he’s cut the heads off of the people that Carolyn was with and replaced them with his own head. (Double yikes!) Laurie, of course, wants nothing to do with Eddie.
Could Eddie’s new statue help him out? He hopes so and he even takes it to the club to test it on someone else beforehand. Eddie is determined to force Carolyn to love him, even if he’ll be required to kill her almost immediately afterwards. Fortunately, Ryan, Jack, and Micki are on campus, searching for the statue.
This episode is often cited as one of the best of the show’s run, largely because it was directed by a future Oscar nominee, Atom Egoyan. (Amongst Egoyan’s films: Exotica, The Sweet Hereafter, Felicia’s Journey and Where The Truth Lies.) It’s certainly not a bad episode, as Egoyan approaches the storyline with a sense of humor. The scenes of the frat boy and then Eddie wandering around with their cupid statue are more than a little silly and Egoyan seems to understand that. He does a good job contrasting the ludicrousness of the statue with the seriousness of the consequences of using it. The ultimate message is that both the statue and the men who carry it with them are more dangerous than they look.
I also enjoyed the scenes in which Ryan and a far more reluctant Micki went to a frat house to search for the statue. The frat house is a stereotypical den of debauchery, full of empty beers can and a black bra hanging from a ceiling fan. Ryan, not surprisingly, is right at home. Micki cannot wait to escape and I have to say that, as often happens when I watched episodes of this show, I definitely related to Micki. Watching Ryan and Micki wander through various frat parties in search of Eddie and his statue, I had to ask myself which is worse, a cursed antique or a fraternity?
To quote Geoffrey Chaucer, “All good things must come to an end.”
Death Wish V: The Face of Death marked the end of the original Death Wish franchise, concluding the violent saga of Paul Kersey 20 years after it began. It probably should have ended sooner.
After the box office failure of Death Wish IV and the subsequent bankruptcy of Cannon Films, future plans for the Death Wish franchise were put on hold. After the collapse of Cannon, Menahem Golan started a new production company, 21st Century Film Corporation. In 1993, needing a hit and seeing that the previous Death Wish films were still popular on video, Golan announced that Paul Kersey would finally return in Death Wish V: The Face of Death. Charles Bronson also returned, though he was now 72 years old and in poor health. Death Wish V would also mark the end of Bronson’s feature film career. He would make appearances in a few television movies before subsequently retiring from acting.
Death Wish V finds Paul in the witness protection program. His latest girlfriend, Olivia (Lesley-Anne Down), just happens to be the ex-wife of a psychotic mobster named Tommy O’Shea (Michael Parks). Throughout the entire franchise, the Death Wish films argued that crime is so out of control that no one was safe and that Paul had no choice but to pick up a gun and shoot muggers. But, judging from Death Wish V, Paul just seems to have incredibly bad luck. What are the odds that a mild-mannered architect would lose his wife, his maid, his daughter, his best friend from the war, his next two girlfriends, and then end up dating the ex-wife of New York City’s craziest gangster?
The district attorney’s office wants Olivia to testify against her ex-husband so Tommy gets his henchman, the dandruff-prone Freddie Flakes (Robert Joy), to kill her. Looks like it’s time for New York’s favorite vigilante to launch a one-man war against the Mafia!
The only problem is that New York’s favorite vigilante is too old to chase people down dark alleys and shoot them. He has to get creative, which means using everything from poisoned cannoli to a vat of acid to take out his targets. One gangster is killed by an exploding soccer ball!
With both Bronson and Lesley-Anne Down giving an indifferent performances, it is up to the supporting cast to keep the movie interesting. Appearing here after his bravura turn as Jean Renault in Twin Peaks but before Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino introduced him to a whole new generation of filmgoers, Michael Parks is flamboyantly evil as Tommy O’Shea and injects the movie with what little life that it has. Speaking of Twin Peaks alumni, Kenneth Welsh (who played Windom Earle in the last few episodes of season 2) plays this installment’s understanding police detective. Saul Rubinek plays the district attorney who is willing to look the other way when it comes to killing gangsters.
Dull and cheap-looking, Death Wish V was a box office bomb and it brought the original franchise to a definite end. Will the Eli Roth/Bruce Willis reboot of Death Wish also lead to a reboot of the franchise? Time will tell!
To quote Geoffrey Chaucer, “All good things must come to an end.”
Through the Shattered Lens 