First released in 1988, Waxwork asks the audience with a very important question.

Let’s say that you and your best friend were walking to school one day when you suddenly noticed a gigantic mansion that you had never seen before, sitting in the middle of your neighborhood.  And what if a tall, somewhat sinister Englishman (played by David Warner, none the less) suddenly appeared out of nowhere and told you that the mansion was actually a waxwork.  And what if that Englishman than invited you to come to the waxwork at midnight and specifically asked you to come in a group of 6.  Would you do it?

Now, I know that your first instinct is to say, “Of course, I wouldn’t!”  That’s the type of answer that we’ve been conditioned to give because no one wants to admit that they can be as dumb as a character in a horror movie.  But really, I would go.  Especially if, like the characters in Waxwork, I was a teenager.  (Actually, most of the characters in Waxwork are described as being college students but they all act like high school students and their college appears to be a high school so draw your own conclusions.)  When you’re a certain age, you feel like you’re immortal and an invitation to hang out in a creepy building with a bunch of strangers at midnight feels totally reasonable.

Anyway, four rich kids — Mark (Zach Galligan), China (Michelle Johnson), Sarah (Deborah Foreman), and Tony (Dana Ashbrook, a year before he was cast as Laura Palmer’s boyfriend in Twin Peaks) — visit the waxwork at midnight.  What they discover is that the building is full of macabre exhibits that recreate various moments from horror history.  There’s werewolves, vampires, and Jack the Ripper.  There’s also the Marquis de Sade, a figure that the seemingly innocent Sarah becomes fascinated with.  And, as two of the visitors discover, stepping past the red rope and entering an exhibit transports them into an alternate world where they become the victim of the star of each display.

Not surprisingly, the film is at its best when imagining the world inside each exhibit.  Each exhibit has its own backstory and its own set of guest stars.  John Rhys-Davies shows up as a werewolf.  Miles O’Keeffe is a properly urbane Count Dracula.  J. Kenneth Campbell plays the Marquis de Sade, who the film imagines as a swashbuckling sadist.  That said, I think the most effectively frightening exhibit was one that featured no special guest stars but a very determined and very strong mummy.

What’s going on at the waxwork!?  As explained by Sir Wilfred (Patrick Macnee, bringing some welcome wit and style to the film), it’s all a part of a scheme to bring the most evil beings ever back into existence so that they can conquer the world.  It’s important that none of the waxworks be allowed to enter the real world and soon, Sir Wilfred and his ragtag army are laying siege to the waxwork and bringing things to an apocalyptic conclusion.  The final battle is a bit haphazardly edited and it’s impossible to really keep track of who is fighting on which side.  (Indeed, I’m still not sure where Sir Wilfred even found his army.)  But it does feature plenty of in-jokes for horror fans, including a cameo appearance by the carnivorous plant from Little Shop of Horrors.

Waxwork is entertaining film.  It doesn’t take itself particularly seriously and, indeed, Mark, China, Sarah, Tony, and all of their friends feel as if they could just as easily have been found in the pages of a Bret Easton Ellis novel about pretty but vapid alcoholics.  Mark is the type who gets his maid to write his term papers.  Tony just wants to drink (but, because he’s played by the adorable Dana Ashbrook, he’s still the most likable character in the film).  China says, “I do what I want, when I want,” when confronted about cheating on her boyfriend.  Sarah is the “innocent” one but just seeing the words “Marquis de Sade” causes her to swoon.  Dropping these four idiots into a situation where the fate of the world is at stake feels like a wonderfully sardonic cosmic joke.

In the end, the true pleasure of Waxwork is watching old pros like David Warner, Patrick Macnee, and the exhibit guest stars hamming it up.  Macnee, in particular, seems to enjoy leading the final charge against the forces of evil and, indeed, it’s hard not to wish that he had even more screen time than he did.  David Warner, meanwhile, rolls his eyes at just how difficult it can be to bring the 18 most evil figure in history back to life.  It’s hard work but I guess someone has to do it!