The Eric Roberts Collection: Megalodon: The Frenzy (dir by Brendan Petrizzo)


In 2023’s Megalodon: The Frenzy, the giant shark that keeps coming back …. well, it comes back again!  Actually, there’s more than one giant shark this time.  The ocean is not safe, not for tourists, not for beach partiers, not for scientists, not even for the Marines!

Fortunately, Lt. Commander Sharp (Eric Roberts) is in command of a battleship and he’s constantly encouraging his Marines to be prepared to sacrifice everything to stop the giant sharks.  While scientist Rylie Clark (Caroline Williams) attempts to figure out how to stop the sharks, Sharp barks out order to his crew.  His crew replies with “Oorah!”  I would have to check the official records to know for sure but there’s a distinct chance that this movie set the record for the most use of “oorah” over an 82 minute run time.

The true stars of the film are the giant sharks, of course.  That said, it’s nice to see Eric Roberts playing a good guy for once.  Of course, Eric does seem a little advanced in years to still be on active duty.  The mandatory retirement age for a flag officer is usually 64 but retirement can be deferred until 68 by Presidential order.  Eric Roberts was around 67 years old when he filmed this so I guess it pays to have a friend in Washington.  Well, no matter.  Eric gave his orders with authority and rallied his men and probably had the longest hair that you’re ever likely to see on an officer.

As for the sharks, they’re really big and they jump out of the water and eat people.  This is an Asylum film and the Asylum has always understood what people want when it comes to giant sharks.  Don’t take this film seriously and you’ll be fine.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  13. Sensation (1994)
  14. Dark Angel (1996)
  15. Doctor Who (1996)
  16. Most Wanted (1997)
  17. The Alternate (2000)
  18. Mercy Streets (2000)
  19. Tripfall (2000)
  20. Raptor (2001)
  21. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  22. Strange Frequency (2001)
  23. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  24. Border Blues (2004)
  25. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  26. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  27. We Belong Together (2005)
  28. Hey You (2006)
  29. Depth Charge (2008)
  30. Amazing Racer (2009)
  31. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  32. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  33. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  34. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  35. The Expendables (2010) 
  36. Groupie (2010)
  37. Sharktopus (2010)
  38. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  39. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  40. Deadline (2012)
  41. The Mark (2012)
  42. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  43. The Night Never Sleeps (2012)
  44. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  45. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  46. Lovelace (2013)
  47. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  48. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  49. Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (2013)
  50. Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (2013)
  51. Self-Storage (2013)
  52. Sink Hole (2013)
  53. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  54. This Is Our Time (2013)
  55. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  56. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  57. Eternity: The Movie (2014)
  58. Inherent Vice (2014)
  59. Road to the Open (2014)
  60. Rumors of War (2014)
  61. So This Is Christmas (2014)
  62. Amityville Death House (2015)
  63. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  64. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  65. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  66. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  67. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  68. Enemy Within (2016)
  69. Hunting Season (2016)
  70. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  71. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  72. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  73. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  74. Dark Image (2017)
  75. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  76. Black Wake (2018)
  77. Frank and Ava (2018)
  78. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  79. The Wrong Teacher (2018)
  80. Clinton Island (2019)
  81. Monster Island (2019)
  82. The Reliant (2019)
  83. The Savant (2019)
  84. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  85. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  86. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  87. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  88. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  89. Hard Luck Love Song (2020)
  90. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  91. Top Gunner (2020)
  92. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  93. The Elevator (2021)
  94. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  95. Killer Advice (2021)
  96. Megaboa (2021)
  97. Night Night (2021)
  98. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  99. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  100. Red Prophecies (2021)
  101. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  102. The Wrong Mr. Right (2021)
  103. Bleach (2022)
  104. Dawn (2022)
  105. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  106. 69 Parts (2022)
  107. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  108. The Wrong High School Sweetheart (2022)
  109. The Company We Keep (2023)
  110. D.C. Down (2023)
  111. If I Can’t Have You (2023)
  112. Aftermath (2024)
  113. Bad Substitute (2024)
  114. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  115. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  116. Space Sharks (2024)
  117. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  118. Broken Church (2025)
  119. Shakey Grounds (2025)
  120. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for The Slime People!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Deanna Dawn will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  The Slime People!  

If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The film is available on Prime!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.7 “Silence is Golden”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

Mimes are evil!

Episode 2.7 “Silence Is Golden”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on November 19th, 1989)

“Here’s what on my mind tonight!” Freddy Krueger tells us as this episode starts.

Our first story is about radio DJ Rick Rake (Jeff Yagher), who has a mullet, a leather jacket, and a bad attitude.  “I say what I think and I think what I say,” Rick says.  When he’s visiting the park with his wife, Sheila (Sherry Hursey), a listener attempts to pick a fight with Rick.  Rick throws a punch and accidentally hits a mime (Abie Selznick).

Eh, who cares?  We all hate mimes, right?

Unfortunately, The mime carries a silent grudge and soon, Rick is haunted by visions of the mime everywhere.  When Sheila is sucked into the ground and buried alive, the police say it was a sinkhole but Rick knows that it was the mime.  Rick goes on the radio and announces that all mimes should be hunted down and killed.  Rick sees the mime in the studio and, going after him, ends up taking a literal rake to the throat.  Rick survives but he can no longer speak …. JUST LIKE A MIME!

In the second story, we discover that the mime is named Kip and he’s also a professional burglar.  He steals to keep his girlfriend (Kim Morgan Greene) happy but he’s haunted by nightmares involving mistakes and death.  When he learns that the last two people he robbed have turned up dead, Kip worries that he’s being set up.  And, of course, he is.

At the end of the episode, Freddy reminds us that he’s dead so he can never be a mime or a DJ.  Sorry, Freddy.  You kind of brought it on yourself, though.

The first story actually worked fairly well, just because mimes are creepy.  The second story was basically a noir with nightmares.  I think it might have worked a bit better if Kip had just been an ordinary guy as opposed to a mime.  The show never really explained if he was the same mime who killed Sheila and silenced Rick or was he just another mime in Springwood.

How many mimes are there in that town?  No wonder Freddy went crazy.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for The Bye Bye Man!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Deanna Dawn will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  The Bye Bye Man!  

If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The film is available on Prime!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.6 “Lucky Stiff”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, a lottery ticket leads to misery.

Episode 2.6 “Lucky Stiff”

(Dir by William Malone, originally aired on November 12th, 1989)

After the lottery-obsessed Lenny Nordhoff (David L. Lander) has a heart attack and dies, his widow, Greta (Mary Crosby), marries her brutish boyfriend, Hank (Richard Eden). Haunted by nightmares of Lenny holding out his bloody heart and accusing her of having broken it, Greta is not happy with her new marriage. When she and Hank realize that Lenny was buried with a winning lottery ticket, they break into the mausoleum, open his coffin, and retrieve the ticket. Then, Greta pushes Hank into the coffin and seals him up.

Months later, Greta is wealthy but now she’s haunted by visions of Hank and threatening phone calls. Eventually, she is confronted by a gravedigger (Tracey Walter), who blackmails her into marrying him.

This episode’s only memorable moment was an outdoor scene that was apparently filmed on a windy day, resulting in Mary Crosby having to awkwardly reach down to keep her dress from blowing up. (I supposed it says something about the show’s budget and production schedule that, rather than reshoot this scene, they just went with it.) Crosby didn’t do a bad job in this episode. She had the right neurotic femme fatale look.

Otherwise, this episode was pretty forgettable. The first story featured Greta having nightmares about a dead man and marrying a loser. The second story featured Great having nightmares about a dead man and marrying a loser. Even Freddy, in his reduced host role, looked pretty bored with the whole thing.

 

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Resident Evil With #ScarySocial!


 

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 2002’s Resident Evil!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!

 

The TSL Grindhouse: Grizzly (dir by William Girdler)


In 1976’s Grizzly, something is making a national park a lot less inviting.

Campers are turning up dead.  Bloody body parts are being found buried underneath leaves.  It’s obvious that a bear is to blame but reports seem to indicate that this isn’t just any bear.  This is a super bear, standing 8 feet tall and capable of knocking down an observation tower and picking up a helicopter.  This is the most dangerous bear known to man and the park has to be closed.

Closing the park during tourist season!?  Surely not!

Does this all sound familiar?  Grizzly came out a year after Jaws.  In all fairness to Grizzly, there were a lot of movies that ripped-off Jaws.  As a matter of fact, there are still movies ripping off Jaws.  The Jaws films eventually ended up ripping off themselves with three sequels.  Still, it’s hard to ignore just how blatantly Grizzly rips off Jaws.  We get shots from the bear’s point of view.  Christopher George plays the sheriff who keeps demanding that the park be closed down until the bear has been taken care of.  Andrew Prine is the hippie bear expert.  Richard Jaeckel is the crotchety old man who knows more about bears that just about anyone else in the world.  In Jaws, they needed a bigger boat.  In Grizzly, they need a bigger helicopter.  Jaws features scenes of people fleeing from the water.  Grizzly features an unintentionally funny shot of hundreds of panicked campers fleeing down the side of a mountain.

Grizzly is Jaws, without the water and without the wit.  And yet, in its own grim way, it works well enough.  The fact of the matter is that bears are scary and the bear in Grizzly is really, really big.  The gore effects are memorably grotesque and, perhaps even more so than Jaws, Grizzly goes out of its way to establish that anyone can die.  As for the actors, I’ve always enjoyed seeing Christopher George in films like this.  He was one of those actors who always seemed to try to give a convincing performance, even when he was appearing in a film that no one would mistake for a classic.  Richard Jaeckel and Andrew Prine also do their best to bring their characters to life.

Finally, I should mention that the film ends on a properly silly and over-the-top note.  Actually, it’s not that much different from the ending to Jaws.  It’s just that Jaws was made with such skill that even the silly moments worked.  Grizzly was directed by William Girdler, who was no Steven Spielberg.  At the end of Grizzly, I found myself shouted, “Why didn’t someone just do that in the first place!?”  Then again, if they had, we never would have gotten all of those point of view shots of the bear wandering through the forest while growling like an 70s obscene phone caller.

As a final note, I defy anyone to watch Grizzly without imagining Werner Herzog narrating the bear’s activities.  It cannot be done!

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Grizzly!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Deanna Dawn will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  1976’s Grizzly!  

If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The film is available on Prime!

13 for 13: Creature (dir by William Malone)


1985’s Creature takes place in the future!

A spaceship that has just recently visited one of Saturn’s moons has crashed into a space station that is orbiting Earth’s moon.  An American corporation sends another crew up to investigate the wreck but, when they arrive, they discover that a German corporation has beat them to it.  They also discover that all of the Germans are dead, with the exception of Hans Hofner (Klaus Kinski).  Hofner claims that an alien creature killed all of the other Germans and now, the creature will be coming after the Americans as well.

Would you allow Klaus Kinski on your spaceship?  That was one of the main things that I found myself wondering as I watched Creature.  Kinski was a German actor who was widely acknowledged as being one of the best actors in the world.  For instance, Doctor Zhivago is a beautiful but very slow film that suddenly comes to life during Klaus Kinski’s fifteen minutes of screentime.  He was also widely acknowledged as being incredibly difficult to work with, prone to paranoia and wild rages.  His frequent collaborator, director Werner Herzog, has frequently talked about being tempted to kill Kinski while working with him and Kinski reportedly threatened to kill Herzog as well but the two of them still worked together because Kinski’s talent made the pain worth it.  (At least, for a while….)  It’s probably open to debate just how much of Kinski’s bad behavior was performative and how much of it was actually due to Kinski being mentally unstable but it’s also true that any experienced filmgoer knows better than to trust any character played by Klaus Kinski.

Now, it should be noted that, while Kinski was a great actor, that doesn’t always mean that he gave performances that were appropriate for the film in which he was appearing.  If Kinski got bored during shooting, he would pretty much just do whatever he wanted.  That’s the feeling that one gets while watching him in Creature.  Kinski alternates between being overly twitchy and being obviously disinterested.  When he makes his first appearance, he randomly gropes an actress, a move that was apparently not scripted.  Later, Kinski eats a sandwich and talks with his mouth full.  From the disgusted looks of the other cast members, it’s hard not to suspect that this was another improvisation on Kinski’s part.  Kinski is always watchable but his performance is still one of the weaker elements of Creature.

That’s a shame because the rest of the cast — Lyman Ward, Stan Ivar, Wendy Schaal, Robert Jaffe, Diane Salinger — all do a pretty good job of bringing their characters to life.  That Creature is essentially a rip-off of Alien is no great secret.  But the film itself still works, due to some memorably grotesque effects work, William Malone’s quickly paced direction, and the performances of the majority of the cast.  It’s an enjoyable B-movie, obviously made by people with a deep appreciation for the science fiction genre.  Usually, Kinski is the element the redeems a B-movie.  In this case, he’s almost superfluous.  The film would have worked just as well — perhaps even better — if he hadn’t shown up.

Would I let Klaus Kinski on my spaceship?

In this case, I’d tell him to wait for the next shuttle.  He’s not needed.

13 for 13: Hell Asylum (dir by Danny Draven)


Would you watch a reality show produced by Joe Estevez?

Of course not!  Reality TV …. hey, that’s the form of entertainment that is destroying our culture and leaving viewers unable to think for themselves!  Reality TV is a pox on our house.  Thanks to reality TV, the Kardashians are more famous than they have any right to be.  Jennifer Welch has become a political pundit despite having all the charm of a sour lemon.  People now feel like they have to live every moment as if there’s a million people watching and as a result, it’s become difficult to connect in any meaningful way…..

Eh.  Actually, I like reality TV more than I should and I probably would watch a reality show produced by Joe Estevez.

I mean, why not?  The best reality shows are always kind of sleazy and there are few actors who are as talented at playing sleazy characters as Joe Estevez.  If Martin Sheen often seems as if he’s auditioning to be the Pope, his brother Joe comes across as if he’s auditioning to be the tabloid reporter who writes a slanderous story about the Pope.  The fact that Joe Estevez looks like a drunk version of his brother only serves to make him all the more effective as someone who you wouldn’t necessarily want to be associated with.  (Unless, of course, he could make you a lot of money….)

In Hell Asylum, Joe Estevez plays Stan, a network television executive.  The movie opens with a show being pitched to him.  The pitch, like many of the scenes in Hell Asylum, goes on way too long.  Basically, a group of models have been recruited to spend the night in a supposedly haunted asylum while being filmed.  The pitch is nothing special but Stan needs a hit.

Of course, it turns out that the asylum really is haunted.  It takes a while but eventually, the models and the television crew end up being stalked by a bunch of mysterious hooded figures.  (Brinke Stevens is credited as being the “Head Spectre.”)  The murders are filmed with a blue tint, which is creepy at first but eventually just hurts your eyes.  There’s some gore, but it’s mostly just some red gloop and rope meant to stand-in for spilled intestines.  It’s not particularly scary but at least it’s only 72 minutes.

Of course, Joe Estevez thinks that he has his hands on America’s hottest new reality show.  At first, I thought the movie was being a bit too cynical but then I thought about all of the real-life deaths that I’ve seen posted to twitter and YouTube and I realized that I was probably being naive.  We actually did have a reality show in which each episode ended with someone pretending to “die.”  Murder in Small Town X was set up like Survivor, except that no one was voted off the island.  Instead, they were voted to meet the killer.  Even though no one actually died, I would have to think it would be more infinitely more traumatic to know that a bunch of people voted for you to be pretend-killed instead of pretend-exiled.  That said, Murder In Small Town X was actually a lot of fun!

I wonder if Joe Estevez produced it.