Fred Holliday | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Isaac has a problem! Oh no! Who will man the bar?

Episode 5.10 “Love, Honor and Obey/Gladys and Agnes/Radioactive Isaac”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on November 28th, 1981)

Oh no! Isaac’s radioactive!

Well, no, not in the way that you might be thinking. Before leaving on this week’s cruise, Isaac had some dental work done and his new fillings can pick up radio stations. The only real problem with that is that Isaac likes a passenger named Patty Phelps (Berlinda Tolbert) and Patty likes him, except for when his teeth start playing music. It leads Patty to suspect that Isaac is just pulling a big prank on her and she doesn’t have any patience for that nonsense. Especially when there’s another handsome single man on board (played by Darrow Igus) whose teeth do not pick up radio stations. Is Isaac willing to sacrifice his fillings for love?

Meanwhile, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara play …. well, they might as well just be playing Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. I’ve seen Jerry and Anne on a few of these shows and they always play the same two characters regardless of what their characters may be named. In this case, Jerry and Anne want to renew their wedding vows on the Love Boat. Captain Stubing is happy to oblige but Anne decides that she doesn’t want to vow to “obey’ her husband. Jerry and Anne get into a fight and it looks like the marriage might be over! However, things work out in the end. They renew their vows and then Anne starts bossing Jerry around. It was a pretty simple story but Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara were so likable together that it didnt matter. I was happy they stayed together.

Finally, Agnes (Audra Lindley) and Gladys (Marion Ross) are two sisters who are taking a cruise together. Agnes meets and falls for Henry Whitewood (Bernard Fox), who is a genuine English earl! Gladys doesn’t want to lose Agnes and tells Henry that Agnes doesn’t have much money. It turns out that Henry doesn’t have a lot of money either. But he’s willing to sell what little land he does have so that he can refurbish the manor and invite Agnes to be his wife. Awwww! And don’t worry about Gladys. She realizes that the most important thing is that her sister’s happy.

This cruise was a bit on the forgettable side. After last week’s two-hour extravaganza, this week’s episode was rather low-key and almost mild-mannered. It was pleasant without being particularly memorable. I think we’ve all had vacations like that!

Speaking of vacations, the holidays are approaching so this is going to be final Love Boat review of 2024. My reviews will resume on January 1st!

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After five years of kinky sex and murder, the Body Chemistry franchise ended with Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure.

Like the third film, Full Exposure was directed by Jim Wynorski and produced by Andrew Stevens. Shannon Tweed stepped into the role of murderous Dr. Claire Archer, replacing Shari Shattuck. Shannon Tweed was always one of the most talented of the actresses who regularly appeared on what was then nicknamed Skinemax. It wasn’t just that Tweed always seemed to being give it her all in her films’ frequent sex scenes. Tweed also had the look and style of an old-fashioned femme fatale. It was easy to imagine her trading sultry quips with Alan Ladd or Tom Neal. This made Tweed perfect for the role of Claire Archer and her performance was a noticeable improvement on Shari Shattuck’s. It’s just too bad the rest of the film was such a snoozefest.

In Full Exposure, after getting away with three murders in the first two Body Chemistry films, Claire has finally been arrested. She is on trial for killing Alan Clay (Andrew Stevens) at the end of the third film. However, she has a hotshot lawyer named Simon Mitchell (Larry Poindexter) and she is soon up to her old tricks, having sex with Simon in his office, a parking garage, and an elevator. Simon’s aide, Lane (Marta Martin), has come across proof of Claire’s crimes but Claire has a plan to take care of that. She always does.

Full Exposure starts out as a typical Body Chemistry film, with neon-lit sex scenes, but it quickly get bogged down in lengthy courtroom sequences. In the previous three films, Claire at least had some sort of motivation but here, it’s never clear why she would try to destroy her lawyer’s life during the trial instead of waiting until he had, at least, gotten her off the hook. Tweed is a perfect Claire but the rest of the cast is just going through the motions. Though Claire once again got away with murder, there were no more chapters to her story after this one. The Body Chemistry franchise managed to do a lot with a very thin premise but Full Exposure shows, that by the fourth film, there was no where left to go.