Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 7/20/25 — 7/26/25

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1st & Ten (Tubi)

American Manhunt: O.J. Simpson (Netflix)

Another year, another OJ documentary. I binged this 2025 docuseries on Monday. On the one hand, the story has been told and re-told so many times that it’s debatable whether any documentary will ever have anything new to add. (And now that O.J. Simpson is dead, no one’s pretending that he was framed or that he was ever looking for the “real killers” anymore.) On the other hand, the story itself such an important moment in American cultural history that there’s nothing wrong with examining it for a second or tenth time. I appreciated that the docuseries took the time to talk about who Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman were as people before they were murdered by OJ. (And make no mistake, that’s exactly what happened.)

The American Short Story (YouTube)

I reviewed this week’s episode here!

Big Brother 27 (24/7, CBS, Paramount Plus, Pluto TV)

I wrote about Big Brother here!

Black Sabbath: Up Close and Personal (Night Flight Plus)

On Saturday morning, Jeff and I joined our friend Pat in watching this 2007 documentary about Black Sabbath. Some of the members were interviewed for the documentary. Ozzy Osbourne was not (instead the documentary used archival interviews to get his thoughts) but, for the most part, everyone was very complimentary to him. Personally, I liked the steady and straight-forward beat of the band’s music.

CHiPs (Prime)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi High (Tubi)

I reviewed Degrassi High here!

Diff’Rent Strokes (Tubi)

I watched two episodes on Thursday. In one, Kimberly Drummond (Dana Plato) went to a ski lodge with her friends and was considering losing her virginity when suddenly — surprise! — her father (Conrad Bain) decided to join her. The second episode featured Willis (Todd Bridges) starting high school and being told that he had smoke weed to be cool. Willis actually did get high in this episode and it’s amazing just how stoned he managed to get in just a few seconds. Anyway, Mr. Drummond told Willis to stay off the grass. This episode was disturbing because one of the high school stoners was wearing jeans so tight that …. well, let’s just say that it showed off more of him than was perhaps typical for network television.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here! Laurence is really letting me down as Mr. Roarke’s new servant.

Fred and Rosemary West: A British Horror Story (Netflix)

I watched this three-episode true crime docuseries on Sunday and Monday. Fred and Rosemary West were a seemingly ordinary couple who actually murdered an untold number of young women and buried them out back under their patio. Watching the docuseries, I was reminded a bit of the Paul Bernardo/Karla Homalka case, except in this case Fred tried to keep the police from discovering Rosemary’s role in the murders. Fred ended up committing suicide. Rosemary is still in prison. It was a disturbing case. Watching the docuseries, my heart broke for all of their victims.

Freddy’s Nightmares (Plex)

I reviewed Freddy’s Nightmares here!

From Rock Star To Killer (Netflix)

I watched this French docuseries, about the murder of actress of Marie Trintignant on Tuesday. It was a sobering film, one that explored how many people refusing to believe that Marie’s famous boyfriend could also be a viscous abuser. I minored in French in college so I watched the first episode without subtitles and I discovered that my French has gotten really rusty. The remaining episodes, I watched the dubbed versions and I have to say that the dubbing was so poorly executed that I have to wonder if it was done by AI.

Gone Girls: The Long Island Serial Killer (Netflix)

On Tuesday, I watched this 2025 docuseries, which dealt with the infamous (and still largely unsolved) Long Island serial killer case. To be honest, I’ve seen so many documentaries and dramatizations of this story that I kind of doubt there’s really anything new to learn about it. That said, I appreciated that the series devoted so much time to profiling the victims and showing us who they were before they became a part of a cold case. The victims of these crimes are so often overlooked or outright dismissed.

Good Morning, Miss Bliss (Prime)

My review of the second episode of Indiana Saved By The Bell will drop in about 90 minutes.

Gordon Ramsay’s Secret Service (Hulu)

On Saturday, I watched a two-part episode in which Gordon helped out three sisters who had taken over their late father’s restaurant. On the one hand, I’m the youngest of four sisters so I could relate to the family dynamics that I saw in this episode. On the other hand — yech! Mice and roaches in the food! I’m never eating out again.

Her Last Broadcast: The Abduction of Jodi Huisentruit (Hulu)

This true crime docuseries explored the disappearance of Iowa news anchor Jodi Huisentruit. Along with giving us the details of her life and disappearance, the series also presented us with four potential suspects. I’ve read some criticism online that the four suspects were all cleared of involvement by the police investigation or, in at least one case, was actually just a person of interest rather than a suspect. It’s a tragic story, nonetheless.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

This week’s episode …. agck! I reviewed it here.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

I reviewed Homicide here!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX & Hulu)

The Lawyer returned! After being a little bit disappointed in the first two episodes of the new season, my faith was renewed by the third episode. Not only did the Lawyer return but we also got Dennis and Mac pretending to be EMTs, Dee screwing up yet another job, and Charlie turning into a demanding chef. That’s the Sunny that I love!

The second episode that I watched this week, in which the Gang dealt with the consequences of dumping baby oil in a local waterway, I also enjoyed. I always like it when Dennis tries to do his whole slick, corporate spokesman routine.

I’m still getting used to the Rob Mac name change.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

This week was a Thanksgiving cruise! I can’t wait for the holidays! I reviewed the episode here!

Malibu CA (YouTube)

Oh, how I hate this show. Anyway, I wrote about the latest episode here.

Miami Vice (Prime)

This week’s episode was all about trying to retrieve stolen bull semen. I swear, the stuff I watch for this site! I reviewed it here.

New York Post Presents: Luigi Mangione: Martyr or Monster (Tubi)

I watched this documentary on Saturday because I was bored. It presented the facts of the case without digging too deeply. I remember that when Brian Thompson was shot, a lot of my friends were (and, in many cases still are) sympathetic to Luigi Mangione and they were always a little surprised that I wasn’t, especially after everything I went though when the insurance company evicted my Dad from his rebab facility. Myself, I don’t believe in killing and I’m not going to praise a cold-blooded murder just because the shooter wrote some dumbass manifesto. As for Luigi, if it wasn’t for his smile, most people wouldn’t care about him.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I joined our friend Pat in watching an episode of this pop culture digest from the late 80s. The episode opened with a look at “Satan Rock,” (Hi, Ozzy, hi, Iron Maiden) and then it went on to feature the hottest music videos of 1988. As a history nerd and a student pop culture, I always enjoy watching artifacts like this.

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

Bleh. Bicycles. The bike cops were especially obnoxious this week. I reviewed Pacific Blue here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

Depressing episode, this week. I reviewed St. Elsewhere here!

TMZ Investigates: What Happened to Justin Bieber (Tubi)

I was bored this afternoon so I watched this TMZ special. Justin appears to be going through some problems. The TMZ team considered that it could be drug-related. Personally, I think fame does strange things to people, especially with today’s bizarrely obsessive celeb-driven culture. Of course, having the TMZ folks following him around probably isn’t helping Justin’s mood.

TMZ Investigates: What Happened To Liam Payne (Tubi)

I watched this on Saturday. TMZ investigates the tragic death of Liam Payne and it’s exactly what you would expect from TMZ. There’s a lot of speculation, a lot of faux concern, and ultimately the whole thing leaves the viewer feeling a bit icky.

Trainwreck: The Astroworld Tragedy (Netflix)

I generally enjoy Netflix’s Trainwreck series. I watched this entry on Friday. It dealt with the death of nine people during a Travis Scott performance at Astroworld in 2021. This documentary didn’t dig too deeply into how it happened, beyond suggesting that the majority of the blame should be assigned to the show’s promoters. The desperate chant of “Stop the Show!” was haunting.

Trainwreck: The Cult of American Apparel (Netflix)

On Friday, I watched this documentary about the rise and fall of American Apparel. It was weird essentially seeing my high school years turned into a “back in the day” documentary. I guess this is what it feels like to realize you’re not getting younger.

Trainwreck: The Mayor of Mayhem (Netflix)

Rob Ford, a brash populist, is elected mayor of Toronto and makes a name for himself as a bigger-than-life reformer. Then, he gets caught on camera smoking crack and everything falls apart. This was my favorite of the Trainwreck documentaries that I watched, largely because Rob Ford was such a fascinating character. I’ve read some comments online from some people who think that this documentary went a little bit too easy on Ford. Maybe it did. I’m not Canadian so I don’t know. I just know it was an interesting story.

Trainwreck: P.I. Moms (Netflix)

The latest Trainwreck as is also perhaps the most pointless. A reality show falls apart before the first episode even premieres. The P.I. Moms, who would have been featured on the show, all argued that they deserved to be taken seriously and that they weren’t just acting for the camera but, at the same time, none of them came across as being particularly sincere so it was hard to have much sympathy for them. It was a documentary about a bad reality show that felt like a bad reality show.

True Crime Arizona: Finding Robert Fisher (Tubi)

In 2001, it’s believed that Robert Fisher, a Navy veteran and former firefighter, murdered his wife and his two children, set his house on fire, and then disappeared into the Arizona wilderness. Fisher has been a fugitive for 24 years and, while some speculate that he either committed suicide or died in the wilderness, people all over the country still regularly report spotting him. This special took a look at Fisher’s crime and offered a few theories of how he managed to disappear. The Fisher case has haunted me ever since I first learned about it and this special reminded me of why. Fisher seemed like the type of guy you would want for a neighbor because he was good with tools and he had a clean-cut look. Instead, he turned out to be a killer/ Personally, I think Fisher still out there. Much like John List (the real-life inspiration for Jerry Blake in The Stepfather films), he’s probably got a new family and a new identity. I have faith he’ll be captured eventually.

True Crime Arizona: The Missing (Tubi)

This episode looked at the cases of several indigenous women who had disappeared in Arizona and took a look at why their disappearances rarely seem to get the media attention that other true crime stories too. This was well-produced and thought-provoking.

True Crime Arizona: Notorious Killers (YouTube)

I was so impressed by the True Crime Arizona episodes that I saw on Tubi that I then looked for more on YouTube. This 23-minute episode took a look at some of Arizona’s most notorious killers. I think I missed my calling. I’d love to host True Crime Texas.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.2 “The Big Switch/Hooker’s Holiday”

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, the tyranny of Laurence continues.

Episode 7.2 “The Big Switch/Hooker’s Holiday”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 15th, 1983)

Shelley James (Melinda Culea) is a high-priced call girl who comes to Fantasy Island looking for an escape from her life. For one weekend, she wants not only a normal life but also a chance to meet a man who will love her without paying her for sex. Luckily, Brad Jacobs (Richard Hatch) is also on the Island!

This is the type of fantasy that Fantasy Island handled well in the past. It doesn’t work out quite as well this episode became Mr. Roarke’s new servant (there’s no other word for him), Laurence, makes some rather snarky and judgmental comments about Shelly and her profession (asking at one point whether she’s on the Island for a fantasy or to give someone a fantasy) and it just feels totally wrong. One of the good things about Fantasy Island was that Roarke never judged the people asking for fantasies. He may have warned them about what they would discover. Sometimes, he manipulated them to help them discover something important about themselves. But once you were allowed to come to the Island, Roarke didn’t judge you and neither did Tattoo. In fact, Tattoo was probably even less judgmental than Roarke. Tattoo knew what it was like to be judged. Laurence, on the other hand, is a snooty British butler and seems personally offended by Shelley’s presence on the Island. (Eventually, after she shares her tragic backstory, he comes around but still, it shouldn’t take a sad story to get people to treat each other with decency.) Laurence is the type of employee who would keep me from wanting to visit the Island. I fear he would tell me that my skirt was too short or something.

As for the other fantasy, Laura Walter (Katharine Helmond) feels that her husband George Walter (Vic Tayback) is a chauvinist and she’s right. She wants him to experience what it’s like to be a woman so Roarke arranges for them to switch bodies. Laura is in George’s body and George is in Laura’s body but for some reason, the show dubs their voices so, whenever George speaks, we hear Laura’s voice and whenever Laura speaks, we hear George’s voice. It’s a bit awkward. Why would their voice switch too? Anyway, Laura discovers that women tend to toss themselves at George and George discovers that his business partner is a lech.

It’s the final season and final seasons often feel uninspired. That was certainly the case with this episode. Even the reliable Ricardo Montalban seemed bored with it all. In the end, it’s just not as much fun without Herve Villechaize around.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.1 “Forbidden Love/The Other Man — Mr. Roarke”

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we start the seventh and final season.

Episode 7.1 “Forbidden Love/The Other Man — Mr. Roarke”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on October 8th, 1983)

The first episode of the seventh season finds Mr. Roarke handling two fantasies.

Widow Margaret Smith (Juliet Prowse) comes to Fantasy Island, hoping to meet the man of her dreams. However, when she does, it turns out that he’s the ex-boyfriend of her daughter, Ginny (Jamie Rose)! Can Margaret find love without hurting her daughter? Or is her love destined to remain forbdden….

Meanwhile, Deborah Barnes (Stephanie Faracy) wants to make her boyfriend jealous so Mr. Roarke arranges for her to meet a man on the Island. But when the man is suddenly unavailable, Mr. Roarke gallantly steps into his place. That’s nice of him. It shows how far Mr. Roarke will go to make the fantasies of his guests come true. Except — uh-oh! — now Deborah’s in love with Mr. Roarke! What can Mr. Roarke do to let Deborah down easily and repair her confidence?

Wow! That’s a lot of drama for one weekend! I wonder what Tattoo has to say…?

Tattoo? Are you there?

OH MY GOD, WHERE IS TATTOO!?

Tattoo is gone, replaced by a butler named Lawrence (Christopher Hewett) who is so heavy-set that he can’t even climb the stairs to ring the bell when the plane shows up over the island. Instead, he looks up at the sky and then pushes a remote button that makes the bell ring. That’s …. just lame. Over the past few years, I have resisted making “Da plane! Da plane!” jokes but seriously, it doesn’t feel right for the show not to start to those words.

What’s especially upsetting is that no one on the show mentions Tattoo. Roarke doesn’t mention why Tattoo is no longer on the Island. Instead, he acts as if Lawrence has always been his assistant. I mean, I understand that Herve Villechaize did not leave under the happiest of circumstances but it just feels cruel not to give Tattoo a proper send-off. Tattoo was a huge part of the show. His interactions with Mr. Roarke were the most consistently entertaining things about Fantasy Island. And now, he’s gone and the show refuses to even acknowledge that he was ever there.

As for Lawrence, he’s a butler. I don’t know how the season played out but, in the first episode, it was pretty clear that Lawrence was the hired help. (Tattoo, at the very least, always seemed to be on nearly equal footing as Roarke.) Lawrence calls Mr. Roarke “sir” and it just doesn’t feel right. Instead of being equals, they are very much employer and employee.

The fantasies are okay. I liked watching Roarke trying to make Deborah fall out of love with. But the addition of Lawrence felt so wrong and really distracting. It doesn’t bode well for the rest of season 7.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the sixth season of Fantasy Island comes to a close and so does Tattoo’s time on the show.

Episode 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 14th, 1983)

This is it. This is not only the finale of season 6 but it’s also the final episode to feature Tattoo as Mr. Roarke’s assistant.

Why did Herve Villechaize leave Fantasy Island after the end of the sixth season? The story that you always hear is that Villechaize wanted more money to continue working on the show. He felt that he deserved to be paid as much as Ricardo Montalban. The show’s producers disagreed. To them, Montalban was not only the star of the show but also someone who has just appeared in a hit movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn. They felt that they could keep the show going without Villechaize and …. well, it turns out they were totally and completely wrong about that.

I have not seen much of the seventh season, in which Villechaize was replaced by Christopher Hewett. And, due to the vagaries of my DVR, there’s a lot of season 7 that I won’t be able to review. What I do know is that the show went from being #39 to bring ranked #47 in the ratings after Villechaize left. Obviously, being the 39th ranked show was nothing to brag about but it was still a helluva lot better than #47. Villechaize left and a lot of the audience left with him.

I’ve made a lot of jokes about Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship. Especially during the early seasons, Roarke and Tattoo sometimes did seem to be friendly rivals. (That was when Roarke was a far more enigmatic fellow and Tattoo always seemed to be trying to figure out a way to make some extra money on Fantasy Island.) Remember when Tattoo ran against Mr. Roarke in an Island election? That said, Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship really was the heart of the series. The fantasies themselves were often forgettable. How many times can you get excited about seeing a member of the Brady Bunch as a guest star? The thing that people really remember about Fantasy Island is the relationship between Roarke and Tattoo. Regardless of what went on behind the scenes, Montalban and Villechazie had a good on-camera chemistry. It was fun to watch them interact. I always enjoyed the episodes that allowed Villechaize to reveal Tattoo’s sensitive side. (In real life, Villechaize was an advocate for abused children, often taking the time to personally visit with children who had been rescued from abusive households.)

This is all my long-winded way of saying that they should have just agreed to pay Herve Villechaize more money.

At the very least, they should have given him a proper goodbye episode. The sixth season ends with a rather basic episode, with no mention made of Tattoo leaving or even thinking of leaving. Instead, we get Maureen McCormick going to a mysterious mansion to rescue her old sister (Britt Ekland) from an abusive man (played by Peter Mark Richman). And then we get Bob Denver and Paul Kreppel as two wannabe womanizers who end up in prehistoric times, trying to romance a cavewoman while dealing with dinosaurs. The dinosaur effects were cheap but likable but they were also the only thing that really made either of their fantasies stand-out.

And so, season 6 ends, not with a bang but a whimper. Tattoo waves goodbye one last time. I’m going to miss him.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.21 “Remember When….”

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. oh no!

Episode 6.21 “Remember When”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 7th, 1983)

After crashing his little car, Tattoo ends up in the Fantasy Island hospital. Roarke cancels all of the weekend’s fantasies so that he can stay by Tattoo’s side and keep Tattoo cheerful until it’s time for him to have life-saving surgery. Roarke and Tattoo share memories and …. YEP, IT’S A CLIP SHOW!

Actually, for a clip show, it’s not that bad. Yes, there’s a lot of awkward dialogue. “Boss, remember that time Mickey Gilley opened up his place?” That said, the clips are well-selected and they all feature Herve Villechaize at his best, turning this episode into a Tattoo tribute. At the end of the episode, Tattoo says that he’s never going to leave Fantasy Island. Which …. well, we’ll get to season 7 in a few weeks.

Anyway, clip shows are pretty much impossible to review. Let’s just be happy that Tattoo pulls through. That accident looked serious!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.20 “What’s The Matter With Kids/Island of Horror”

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s zombie time!

Episode 6.20 “What’s The Matter With Kids/Island of Horror”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on April 16th, 1983)

Dr. Stuart Wharton (Steve Allen) is a tightass stick-in-the-mud who has come to Fantasy Island to give a lecture on how to raise the perfect child. His wife, Margaret (Jayne Meadows Allen), is sick of Dr. Wharton telling people how to live their lives and basically threatens to leave his condescending ass if he doesn’t allow her to adopt Andy (Justin Henry), who is not perfect but who is still better than any of the imaginary perfect children that Dr. Wharton has written and lectured about. This fantasy was predictable and kind of boring. Jayne Meadows Allen actually wrote the script so it’s interesting that the whole fantasy is basically her telling off her husband and accusing him of being a pompous jackass.

There is one interesting scene where Mr. Roarke talks about Stuart’s idea of the perfect child and the kid suddenly appears out of thin air. Mr. Roarke also makes the kid disappear. Mr. Roarke is all-powerful!

(So, you may be wondering, why Roarke doesn’t just use his God-like powers in every episode? I think he wants his guests to sometimes lean a lesson on their own. I always hate it when people try to make me learn something. Sorry, Roarke.)

Meanwhile Erica Nelson (Gayle Hunnicutt) goes to a neighboring island in search of her missing fiancé, Dr. Richard Yates (Christopher Connelly). Uh-oh! The Island’s controlled by a mad scientist named Dr. Christophe (Jared Martin)! And Dr. Christophe is into voodoo!

That’s right, there are zombies all over the place! And one of the zombies is Erica’s husband! Fortunately, it turns out that zombification is not a permanent condition and Erica is eventually able to cure her husband while the remaining zombies descend upon Dr. Christophe.

I liked this fantasy. The island was atmospheric and, by Fantasy Island standards, the zombies were actually pretty effective. The scene of them rising from their graves was surprisingly well-done and I also appreciated that Jared Martin totally embraced the melodrama in the role of Dr. Christophe. This fantasy also featured a great moment where Roarke appeared on the Island to inform Erica that the zombies were coming and then he promptly vanished. I love it when Roarke does that

(Of course, I don’t think that Erica was ever in any real danger. I mean, this episode established that Roarke can conjure people out of thin air. I’m sure he could have just snapped his fingers and made all the zombies vanish. But, in typical Roarke fashion, he wanted Erica to learn a lesson.)

The orphan fantasy was annoying but I like zombies! This was a good trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.19 “Edward/Extraordinary Miss Jones”

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Sammy Davis Jr. comes to Fantasy Island.

That’s be cool, right?

Episode 6.19 “Edward/Extraordinary Miss Jones”

(Dir by Don Ingalls, originally aired on April 9th, 1983)

Or, it would have been cool if my DVR had actually recorded this episode!

Sorry, it’s the curse of the DVR. This is one of the episodes that my DVR did not record. I’m not sure if it’s a case of the episode not being aired or perhaps the cable itself was out when it should have been recording but, for whatever reason, I do not have this episode and I also don’t remember having watched it in the past.

For now, I can’t review it. But I’m going to leave this here as a placeholder, in case the show ever starts streaming again.

Again, I regret not being able to review this episode at this time. But, as Mr. Roarke always says, “Smiles, everyone, smiles!”

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to go back to the Island. Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on March 19th, 1983)

I had mixed feelings about this episode.

On the one hand, we do learn a little bit about Tattoo’s past in this episode. We discover that he lived in Paris before coming to Fantasy Island and becoming Roarke’s assistant and we learn that he may have been a taxi driver. At one point, his life was saved by a woman named Susan Henderson (Georgia Engel). To repay her, Tattoo arranges for Susan to come to the Island so that she can pursue her fantasy of getting concert pianist Carter Ransome (Bernie Kopell — who I love on The Love Boat but who is just plain miscast here) to fall in love with her. Even though Roarke says it will only be for the weekend, Susan is okay with that. Of course, things get complicated. Roarke also asks Tattoo how he plans to pay for the fantasy. Since when does Roarke care about money? Seriously, after all of the free fantasies that he’s handed out!? Give Tattoo a break, Roarke!

On the other hand, this fantasy featured Georgia Engel. Georgia Engel was an actress who specialized in playing very nice women who rarely spoke above a whisper. Ever since I’ve started doing these retro television reviews, I’ve watched countless episodes featuring Georgia Engel as quirky women who refuse to speak above a whisper. At first, it didn’t bother me. Then I watched Jennifer Slept Here, a short-lived sitcom co-starring Georgia Engel. It was while watching Jennifer Slept Here that I found myself yelling, “SPEAK UP!” whenever Georgia Engel appeared onscreen.

I feel bad because Georgia Engel, in every role that I’ve seen her play, came across as being a genuinely kind soul but the whispering thing …. oh my God, it just annoys the Hell out of me. And that was certainly the case with this episode. It was nice to learn more about Tattoo’s life and I’m glad that everyone found love but I’m sick of having to strain to understand or even hear the dialogue whenever Georgia Engel guest stars on one of these shows.

The other fantasy, I liked a bit more. Carl Peters (Dean Butler) comes to Fantasy Island to meet a woman who has loved for afar, Hallie Miller (Crystal Bernard). It turns out that Hallie lives on a village on the other side of the Island. Roarke warns that it’s a weird village that’s never gotten over the execution of a witch several centuries earlier. At first, I was like, “Since when is there a town on the other side of the Island?” but then I remembered that, during the first season, there was a whole fantasy that took place in fishing village that happened to be on the Island. Anyway, this fantasy is supernatural-themed and I always like it when Fantasy Island embraces its supernatural origins.

It was an uneven trip to the Island this week but what can I say? I like island trips!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.17 “King of Burlesque/Death Games”

Posted on May 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Smiles, everyone, smiles!” It’s time for another two fantasies.

Episode 6.17 “King of Burlesque/Death Games”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on March 12th, 1983)

I’m going to deal with the first of this week’s fantasies very quickly because, quite frankly, it’s not every interesting. Rich Little is Tom Vail, a wall street accountant who wants to be a burlesque comedian. He gets his fantasy. He performs at the Fantasy Island Burlesque Revival. He wears a hideous suit with a big bowtie. He falls in love with a dancer. The always likable Red Buttons appears as a Burlesque veteran. It’s not a bad fantasy but it’s not terribly interesting.

Meanwhile, Vanessa Walgren (Joanna Pettet) has come to the Island to compete in the “First Annual Fantasy Island Pentathlon.” However, Mr. Roarke knows that she’s there for another reason. She wants to kill him! A year ago, Vanessa’s husband was lost at sea while on his own fantasy. (He wanted to retrace the route of the Kon Tiki.) Vanessa blames Roarke and she’s put a bounty on his head. Roarke sighs and says, “Fine, but if you don’t kill me by the end of the weekend, you have to leave the Island and never bother me again.” Vanessa agrees….

WHAT!? What type of vengeance is that!? Seriously, if you’re obsessed with vengeance, you don’t just shrug and accept an arbitrary rule from the person you’re trying to kill.

Anyway, Roarke is the judge for the Pentathlon so he’s got various athletes trying to kill him over the course of the entire weekend. He even gets cut during a fencing match! (“If you can bleed, you can die!” Vanessa declares in a wonderfully over-the-top moment.) Whenever anyone fails to kill him, Roarke says, “Get off my Island!,” which is rally cool. Tattoo wonders why Roarke is allowing this to happen. Why doesn’t Roarke order Vanessa to get off the Island. Roarke is all like, “I can’t tell you, just trust me.” The final event is a skydiving competition and I’m not really sure how you compete at that but whatever. Despite Vanessa’s efforts to sabotage his parachute, Roarke lands safely.

Vanessa then offers him two glasses of wine. One glass is poisoned! Can Roarke pick the right glass? Roarke is like, “Screw this,” and finally reveals that Vanessa’s husband is not dead. Instead, he’s a secret agent who had to fake his own death but who is now ready to be reunited with Vanessa….

Again, WHAT!? Seriously, that came out of nowhere.

Reunited with her husband, Vanessa apologizes for trying to murder Roarke. Roarke says it’s fine because Mr. Roarke is very forgiving.

The burlesque fantasy was boring (loved the costumes, though!) but the revenge fantasy made up for it. I love it when Fantasy Island embraces the melodrama. Plus, this fantasy actually gave Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize quite a bit to do. All in all, this was a good trip to the Island!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.16 “Eternal Flame/My Date With Burt”

Posted on May 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, our trip is all about getting older.

Episode 6.16 “Eternal Flame/My Date With Burt”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 5th, 1983)

When I first saw that one of the fantasies this week was called “My Date With Burt,” my immediate assumption was that someone would come to Fantasy Island and demand to go on a date with Burt Reynolds. I was actually looking forward to seeing if Burt would play himself or if they would just have some stand-in who was always shot from behind. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

The Burt in this case is Burt Hunter (Ron Ely), an actor who is the latest to be cast as a James Bond-type of secret agent. Margaret Winslow (Sandra Dee) has a crush on him and wants to meet him. For his part, Burt is depressed because he’s getting older and the producers of his films want to replace him with a younger actor. At first, Burt just goes out with Margaret in order to generate some publicity for himself. He hires a stuntman to fake a fight so that Burt can emerge as a big ol’ hero. Burt is trying to save his career but Margaret is not amused by any of that. Margaret realizes that films are not real life. Margaret’s pretty old to only now be figuring that out. Anyway, Margaret and Burt still fall in love and leave the Island together.

This fantasy was predictable but it did give us one of those fun Tattoo subplots where Tattoo claimed to be Burt Hamilton’s best friend and tried to get involved in managing his career. Tattoo always had a side hustle going and good for him! One gets the feeling that Roarke didn’t pay him that much. Seriously, Tattoo was always trying to find a way to make more money. Pay the man what he’s worth, Mr. Roarke!

Our other fantasy features Linwood Bolton and Randi Oakes as Alex and Diana Weston, two newlyweds who want to find the Fountain of Youth so that they can be young and in love forever. Yay! Roarke has them take a dip in a pool and, when they emerge, they’re on an isolated island that is ruled over by Ra-Mas (Alex Cord) and Maatira (the great Stella Stevens). Maatira will let them drink from the fountain but there’s a catch …. one of the cups is full of poison! Alex can be eternally young and he can be spend the rest of eternity as Maatira’s lover but Diana has to die. And Diana does die. Luckily, the water from the fountain can also bring people back to life.

This was a weird fantasy and you really do have to wonder what would have happened if Alex hadn’t come to his senses and if Diana hadn’t been revived. Would Roarke have just shrugged and told Tattoo to burn Diana’s passport? It just doesn’t seem like that would be good for business. That said, Stella Stevens was an actress who was always willing to embrace the melodrama and she does so here, keeping things somewhat entertaining.

This was a pleasant if not particularly memorable trip to the Island.