The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Road Games (dir by Abner Pastoll)


Road Games is an odd film.  On the one hand, it’s such a slow-moving film that there’s really not a whole lot of plot to describe.  On the other hand, what little plot that does exist all hinges on a big twist that I really can’t reveal.  Considering how offended some people get when I reveal the end of a Lifetime film on this site, I can only imagine the reaction if I spoiled this film.

Jack (Andrew Simpson) is a depressed British guy who is stranded in France.  He’s been hitchhiking across the country, hoping to make his way to Calais so that he can catch a ferry back to the UK.  Oddly, he’s traveling with no bags.  When we first meet Jack, he’s frustrated because nobody is willing to stop and pick him up.

Jack does eventually meet another hitchhiker, Veronique (Josephine de la Baume).  Despite the fact that Jack speaks little French and Veronique speaks little English, they have an immediate chemistry.  Veronique even lets Jack know why nobody wants to pick him up.  Apparently, there’s a serial killer in the area!

Shortly afterwards, a car actually does stop.  The owner of the car, Grizard (Frederic Pierrot), offers them a ride.  Jack quickly gets in the car but Veronique is weary of the rough-spoken Grizard and only reluctantly gets in the back seat.  They drive.  Grizard asks way too many personal questions.  He stops to pick a dead rabbit off of the road.  He gets mad when Jack tries to turn on the radio.  He also mentions that, because of a strike that neither Jack nor Veronique had heard about, there are no ferries from Calais.  He offers to let Jack and Veronique stay at his home for the night.  Though Veronique is reluctant, Jack readily agrees.

Grizard’s wife is Mary (Barbara Crampton).  Grizard insists that Mary is British but Mary tells Jack that she’s actually from the States.  Veronique doesn’t trust either Grizard or Mary but Jack says that they’re probably just lonely.  Veronique is offended that she and Jack are given separate rooms.  Jack replies that they’re probably just old-fashioned…

And that’s all I can tell you about the plot!  There’s a really big twist and it’s actually fairly clever.  But, my God, it takes forever to get there.  Road Games is a very slow film.  I know some of that was to build up suspense and the film is certainly not a failure but it’s still hard not to feel that Road Games was basically a terrifically effective 20-minute short film that was unnecessarily padded out to 95 minutes.

Road Games did the festival circuit in 2015 and got a release earlier this year.  It’s currently on Netflix and I guess I would give it a partial recommendation, especially if you’re a fan of the horror road genre.  There was a lot I did like about the movie: the cinematography is gorgeous and the original score is evocative of the best of giallo.   The acting is okay, though Barbara Crampton is really the only stand-out in the cast. Throughout the film, the characters speak in a combination of French and English and Road Games makes good use of the language barrier to keep us off-balance.  (How much is Jack understanding? we constantly wonder.)  But the film itself is just so slow!  I’ll be curious to see what director Abner Pastoll does next.  I just hope his next film has a steadier pace.

166490-l-lo

 

 

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Demons 2 (dir by Lamberto Bava)


demons-2-2

1985’s Demons was such a success that it only took one year for it to be followed by a sequel.  Like the first film, Demons 2 was directed by Lamberto Bava and produced by Dario Argento.  (Once again, Argento is also credited with co-writing the script.)  Bobby Rhodes appears in both films, though he plays two different characters.  And again, it’s the same basic plot: watching a movie leads to an outbreak of a plague that transforms a group of people into a pack of murderous demons.

And yet, despite all the similarities, Demons 2 is a hundred times better than the first Demons.  And I say that as someone who really likes the first film.  There simply is no comparison between the two.  If Demons was a nonstop thrill ride, Demons 2 is a filmed nightmare.

Demons 2 takes place in a high-rise apartment building.  In the style of any good disaster movie, the first part of the film introduces us to the tenants and gives us just enough information so that we’ll be able to remember who is who.

For instance, in one apartment, we have George (David Knight) and his pregnant wife, Hannah (Nancy Brilli).  In another, we have a woman (Anita Bartolucci) who obsessively dotes on her dog.  Down the hall, ten year-old Ingrid Haller (Asia Argento, making her film debut) watches TV while her parents eat dinner.  In the basement, a gym instructor named Hank (Bobby Rhodes) shouts encouragement at a group of body builders.

And finally, in another apartment, a teenage girl named Sally (Coralina Cataldi Tassoni) sits in her bedroom and cries.  It’s her birthday but her parents are out for the night.  Meanwhile, her friends are gathered in the living room and wondering if Sally is ever going to come out of her room.  Sally is upset because her boyfriend didn’t come to the party.  Poor Sally.

In her sadness, Sally has turned on her TV but she’s barely watching.  And what’s on TV that night?  A horror movie, one that tells the same story as the one we saw in the first Demons and the one that we will eventually see again in Demons 2 (and also in Michele Soavi’s The Church).  A group of teenagers come across a dead demon.  When one of them accidentally gets splashed by the demon’s blood, he is transformed into a demon himself…

(If this sound familiar, that’s perhaps because the same idea was later used in 28 Days Later, a film that owns a not insignificant debt to both of the Demons films and Umberto Lenzi’s Nightmare City.)

Suddenly, the movie demon stops and seems to be staring straight at the unseen camera.  He starts to approach it, until his twisted face fills the entire TV screen…

Suddenly, the demon bursts out of the TV and infects Sally.  Sally finally leaves her bedroom and proceeds to attack everyone at her party, spreading the infection.  Meanwhile, acidic demon bile eats through the floor and drips into the apartments below, infecting everyone that it touches…

demons-2

And I do mean everyone!  If there’s anything that truly separates the Demons films from so many other horror films, it’s that literally anyone can be infected.  It doesn’t matter if you’re likable or if you’re funny or if you’re played by a familiar actor.  If you get infected, you’re going to turn into a demon.  Usually, when you watch a horror film, you can sure that children and pregnant women will automatically be safe.  Demons 2 wastes little time in letting you know that this isn’t the case as far as this film is concerned.

Demons was pretty much distinguished by nonstop action.  In Demons 2, director Lamberto Bava devoted more time to atmosphere and characterization.  As a result, Demons 2 features characters that we actually care about and  some truly haunting images, everything from Sally’s friends moving, in slow motion, down a dark hallway to Asia Argento watching as her parents are literally ripped into pieces in front of her.  If Demons was defined by its relentless heavy metal soundtrack, Demons 2 is defined by the ambient but haunting new wave music that plays through the majority of the film.  Demons was an action-horror film.  Demons 2 is a nightmare from which you cannot awake.

If you have the opportunity, I would say to watch both of the Demons films.  But if you have to choose only one to watch, go with Demons 2.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Demons (dir by Lamberto Bava)


demons

“What the Hell happened to Rosemary?”

— Tony The Pimp (Bobby Rhodes) in Demons (1985)

A lot of what you need to know about Demons, an Italian horror film from 1985, can be summed up by the fact that one of the leading characters is named Tony the Pimp.  Demons is a very self-aware film, one that is not only over-the-top and ludicrous but which is cheerfully aware that it’s over-the-top and ludicrous.  Considering that Demons is an apocalyptic film that ends with nearly the entire cast dead, Demons is a surprisingly good-natured horror film.

The film opens in Berlin.  There’s a mysterious man hanging out at a subway station.  He’s wearing a silver half-mask and, from what we can see of his face, he appears to be heavily scarred.  Interestingly enough, the man is played by Michele Soavi.  (Though Soavi is now best remembered as the director of Dellamorte Dellamore, he was an actor and assistant to Dario Argento when Demons was produced.)  The man doesn’t speak.  Instead, he hands out flyers to random people, inviting them to attend the premiere of a new horror film.

The man obviously does a very good because a truly diverse group of characters show up for the premiere.  There’s a wealthy blind man who comes with his assistant.  (The assistant is played by Dario Argento’s oldest daughter, Fiore.)  There’s an older couple who keep shushing everyone in the audience.  There’s Cheryl (Natasha Hovey), who ends up sitting next to the handsome George (Urbano Barberini, who would later co-star in Dario Argento’s Opera).  And, of course, there’s Tony the Pimp (Bobby Rhoades) who shows up wearing a white suit and with two prostitutes.

The film-within-the-film is a horror film that plays out like an homage to every Italian horror film released in the 1980s.  It deals with four teenagers who stumble across the grave of Nostradamus and end up transforming into blood-thirsty demons.  One of the teenagers is played by Michele Soavi, though it’s never clear whether the teenager and the man in the mask are supposed to be the same person.

As they watch the movie, something strange starts to happen in the audience.  One of the prostitutes scratched her face when she put on a prop mask.  When the same mask appears in the movie, the cut on her face starts to throb.  Soon, she is transformed into a … DEMON!

JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIE!

Needless to say, the arrival of a real-life demon leads to a panic in the theater but guess what?  The doors are locked!  There’s no way out!  When Tony the Pimp breaks into the projection booth, he discovers that there’s no projectionist and the movie cannot be stopped!  On top of that, getting scratched by a demon means that you transform into a demon yourself!

In other words — remember the debate about whether or not horror movies can turn their viewers into murderous monsters?  Well, Demons says that they definitely can…

Demons was directed by Lamberto Bava, son of the famous Mario Bava, and it remains one of the most popular Italian horror films of all time.  With a script that was co-written by Dario Argento (who also produced), Demons is a fun and exciting horror film that cheerfully dares you to take it too seriously.  Watching this energetic film, you can tell that Bava was having a lot of fun with the idea that the world could end as a result of watching just one horror movie.

Demons was a huge box office hit so, naturally, there were hundreds of unofficial sequels.  Though Michele Soavi’s The Church was a Demons film in every way but name, the only official sequel was Demons 2.  We’ll look at that film tomorrow.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Galaxy of Terror (dir by Bruce D. Clark)


galaxy_of_terror

Long before Event Horizon (but, perhaps more importantly, shortly after the original Alien), there was 1981’s Galaxy of Terror!

Produced by Roger Corman and featuring production design and second unit work from James Cameron, Galaxy of Terror tells the story of what happens when, in the future, the crew of the Quest are dispatched to a mysterious planet.  They’re on a rescue mission but what they don’t realize is that they’re heading into a trap!

The crew of the Quest is virtually a who’s who of cult actors.

The youngest member of the crew is Cos.  Cos is scared of everything and, from the minute you see him, you can tell that he’ll probably be the first to die.  Cos is played by Jack Blessing, who subsequently became a very in-demand voice over artist.  You may not recognize the name or the face but you’ve probably heard the voice.

Captain Trainor, who is still troubled by a disastrous mission in the past, is played by Grace Zabriskie, who is rumored to have inspired Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone” and who subsequently became a regular member of David Lynch’s stock company.

The fearsome Quuhod is played by one of the patron saints of exploitation filmmaking, the one and only SID HAIG!  Quuhod doesn’t say much but Sid Haig doesn’t have to say much to make an impression.

Technical officer Dameia is played by Taaffe O’Connell.  She suffers through the film’s most infamous and distasteful scenes, in which she’s assaulted by a gigantic space worm.  That scene was apparently insisted upon by Roger Corman and it’s not easy to watch.  At the same time, since the film takes place on a planet that is ruled by pure evil, the scene somehow works.  It’s that scene that tells you that Galaxy of Terror is not going to be your typical B-movie.  That is the scene that says, “This movie is going to give you nightmares!”

Ranger is played by Robert Englund!  That’s right — the original Freddy Krueger himself.  It’s interesting to see Englund in this role because Ranger is actually one of the only likable characters in the film.  It’s strange to see the future Freddy Krueger being menaced by the same type of threats that he unleashed on Elm Street.  But Englund does a good job in the role.  In fact, he does so well that you wonder what would have happened in his career if he hadn’t been forever typecast as the man of your nightmares.

The arrogant and cocky Baelon is played by future director, Zalman King.  It says something about King’s acting career that Galaxy of Terror is not the strangest film that he ever appeared in.

Burned-out Commander Ilvar is played by Bernard Behrens, who is one of those character actors who has a very familiar face.  If you watch any movie from the 80s or 90s that features a weary homicide detective or an unsympathetic bureaucrat, it’s entirely possible that he was played by Bernard Behrens.

Kore, the ship’s cook, is played by Ray Waltson, who is another one of those very familiar character actors.  Over the course of his long career, Waltson appeared in everything from The Apartment to The Sting to Fast Times At Ridgemont High to a countless number of TV shows and TV movies.  Waltson was usually cast in comedic roles so it’s interesting to see him here, playing a role that is very much not comedic.

Alluma, an empath, is played by Erin Moran, who was best known for playing Ron Howard’s bratty sister on the somewhat terrible (but apparently popular and deathless) sitcom, Happy Days.  Moran’s explosive death scene is another reason why Galaxy of Terror has a cult following.

And finally, the “star” of the film is Edward Albert, who plays Cabren.  To return to my earlier comparison to Event Horizon, Edward Albert has the Laurence Fishburne role.

Anyway, our crew is sent on a rescue mission but, when they crash land on the planet Morganthus, they find themselves outside of a desolate pyramid.  They make the mistake of exploring the pyramid and end up being confronted by their greatest fears.  (They also eventually discover that one of their crewmates is a traitor.)  It’s pretty much a typical sci-fi slasher film but it makes an impression because, thematically, it’s just so dark.  The fears that attack the crew members are so ruthless and brutal that they will take even the most jaded of horror fans by surprise.  Galaxy of Terror is relentless and merciless in its effort to scare the audience.

What especially distinguishes Galaxy of Terror is that, despite the obviously low budget, the entire film feels sickeningly real.  A lot of credit for that has to go to James Cameron, who creates a lived-in future that actually feels a lot more plausible than anything to be found in Avatar.

So, if you have the chance, turn off the lights, watch the film in the dark, and prepare for a perfect Halloween nightmare!

6 Trailers From Planet Horror


For this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers, we have 6 trailers from Planet Horror!

Planet of the Vampires (1965)

(From director Mario Bava)

Queen of Blood (1966)

Starship Invasions (1977)

Inseminoid (1981)

Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Breeders (1997)

What do you think, Halloween Visitors?

main-laser-beam-cloaking-device-could-save-planet-earth-from-being-annihilated-by-genocidal-aliens

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Scalps (dir by Fred Olen Ray)


The 1983 film Scalps answers the following question:

What happens when these grad students…

scalps-02

…dig up a sacred Native American burial ground and consider stealing some of the artifacts for themselves?

These grad students right here!

These grad students right here!

Well, they upset this lion…

scalps-1

…and this woman…

scalps-movie-1983-5

…and this guy, as well!

scalps

Needless to say, things don’t end well for anyone involved.

As for why those students were out digging for artifacts in the first place, the blame rests with Prof. Machen.  At first, Machen didn’t go with the students.  He had to take care of stuff back at the university.  When he finally did show up, it was a little bit too late.  Prof. Machen is played by an actor named Kirk Alyn, who was the first actor to play Superman back in the 1940s.

In the picture below, you can tell Prof. Machen is an explorer because of the pith helmet that he’s carrying:

vlcsnap-2014-07-26-09h28m09s26

Scalps is about 80 minutes long.  Most fans of low-budget horror will not be shocked to learn that Scalps is about 60 minutes of filler and 20 minutes of actual action.  Seriously, it takes forever for those grad students to actually reach the site of the dig and then, once they start digging, it seems to take even longer for anything to actually happen.  Occasionally, we get a quick flash forward of someone getting scalped or an insert of either the lion, the witch, or the warrior looking upset.

The grad students themselves are pretty much interchangeable.  As far as the men go, two of them have beards and another likes to drink beer.  As far as the women are concerned, two of them are blonde and one of them is slightly less blonde.  D.J. (Jo-Ann Robinson) is kind of a hippie and she has a bad feeling about everything.

(Stupid hippies!  Bleh!)

What’s odd is that, in the end, the film’s glacial pace actually works to its advantage.  Combined with an 80s synthesizer-of-doom score and some ragged but still effectively desolate shots of the desert, the slow pace actually gives Scalps something of a dream-like feel.  Like a filmed nightmare, the film is suffused with a feeling of impending doom.  Once the killings start, Scalps also makes good use of the slo-mo of doom.  Even the most rudimentary of scenes can be scary when they’re filmed in slow motion.

Scalps has been described as being one of the most censored films in cinematic history.  If you listen to Fred Olen Ray’s director’s commentary (more on that below), you’ll learn that it was largely censored due to the behavior of an unethical producer.  That said, it is a remarkably gory little film.  It may take a while for the blood to start flowing but once it starts, it doesn’t stop.  Admittedly, some of the gore effects worked better than others.  The arrow to the eye didn’t seem authentic.  The scalping, on the other hand, seemed far too authentic.  As for the decapitation …. well, I’d put that somewhere in the middle.

Scalps is something of a historical oddity, because it was one of the first films to be directed by the incredibly prolific Fred Olen Ray.  If you’re lucky enough to find the out-of-print Retromedia DVD, you can listen to a commentary track from Fred.  He’s remarkably honest about the film’s flaws and also discusses how he feels that the film’s producers ruined the film by adding random insert shots and flash forwards.  (“That’s not us doing that!” Fred says during one insert of the lion.)  Fred also points out that he made the mistake of actually shooting some of the night scenes at night.  It’s always interesting listening to a veteran director talk about his first film.  Since they have nothing to lose by openly discussing the mistakes that they made, their commentaries become a sort of a mini-film school.

Scalps is not a lost masterpiece but it is oddly watchable.  Somehow, it manages to be both silly and surprisingly effective at the same time.

210k4rq

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Green Room (dir by Jeremy Saulnier)


greenroom5

Jeremy Saulnier’s Green Room is one of the best films of the year but I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to bring myself to watch it a second time.

Why?

There’s two reasons:

Number one, Green Room is one of the most intense films that I’ve ever seen.  Much like Saulnier’s previous film, Blue Ruin, this is a violent movie that never makes violence look fun.  The violence here is all too real and the pain that the characters feel is all too real as well.  I watched a good deal of Green Room through my fingers, hiding my face behind my hands.  Seriously, I’ve seen some pretty gory movies.  (I’m an unapologetic fan of Italian horror, after all.)  But Green Room still left me shaken.  Occasionally, it even left me gasping for breath.  It’s just that intense.  It’s a film about four people battling for survival and I’m surprised (and a little proud) that I survived all the way to the end.

The other reason is that the film stars Anton Yelchin.  It was one of the final films that he made before his death and he gives such a likable and committed performance that it’s impossible for me to think about the film without getting a little emotional.  Far more than his supporting work in the Star Trek films, Green Room showcased what a good actor Anton Yelchin truly was.  It’s impossible for me to think about Green Room without mourning a talent taken from us far too soon.  And though it might be difficult to watch the film a second time, everyone should watch Green Room at least once.  If you ever wonder why some of us still get emotional when we talk about Anton Yelchin, it’s all there in the movie.

In Green Room, Yelchin plays Pat.  Pat is the bass player for a punk band called the Ain’t Rights.  The Ain’t Rights have been touring the northern part of the country.  It’s a low-budget tour, one that perfectly reflects that anti-corporate politics of the Ain’t Rights.  For them, the tour means crashing with friends, siphoning gasoline, and doing interviews with underground radio stations.  In fact, one interviewer — the rather dorky Tad (David W. Thompson) — arranges for them to do a show at an isolated bar in Oregon.  Tad tells them that the bar attracts a rough crowd but that they’ll be okay because his cousin Daniel (Blue Ruin‘s Macon Blair) works there.

The Ain’t Rights arrive and discover that the club appears to have a clientele that is exclusively made up of Neo-Nazi skinheads.  After some hesitation, the Ain’t Rights take the stage and, for a few brief moments, Saulnier shows them performing in slow motion and those of us in the film’s audience — even someone like me, who would probably otherwise never listen to a band like the Ain’t Rights — are briefly caught up in the joy and excitement of their performance.

Unfortunately, while the band is performing, the Nazis are busy murdering a woman in the green room.  And, after the band walks in on the aftermath of the murder, they soon find themselves marked for death as well.  The band is smart enough to lock themselves in the green room and to take one of the Nazis as a hostage.  However, they know that they can’t stay in that room forever.  At some point, they’re going to have to figure out how to escape from the bar…

Green Room is a harrowing and violent film, one that maintains an almost feverish intensity from start to end.  Making it all the more difficult to watch is that Saulnier keeps the horror rooted in reality.  The Neo-Nazis never turn into cardboard movie slashers.  Instead, they are a very real and disturbing threat.  (It’s interesting to note that occasionally, a Neo-Nazis will express some doubt about killing the band but none of them have the courage to actually refuse any of the orders that they receive.  We often hear that people need to respect authority.  Well, Green Room shows what happens when people blindly respect authority to the extent that they can no longer think for themselves.)  Though the film may be violent, it never celebrates that violence and when one character does get a chunk of arm chopped off, it’s literally one of the most painful images to ever be captured on film.  You like every member of the band so, when they get hurt, you feel their pain as well.  Though Yelchin may be the main character, the other members of the Ain’t Rights — played by Alia Shawkat, Joe Cole, and Callum Turner — all make a good impression as well.  You want them all to escape and dread the realization that not all of them will.

As for the owner of the club, his name is Darcy and he’s played by Patrick Stewart.  At first, it may sound like stunt casting.  Patrick Stewart as a Neo-Nazi?  But interestingly enough, Darcy doesn’t really seem to care about ideology.  Instead, you get the feeling that he realized that there was money to be made by catering to racists so that’s what he decided to do.  When he barks out orders and demands that the members of the band be killed, his main motivation seems to be pure greed.  If the band escapes and reports the murder, he’ll lose his club.  Stewart gives a chilling performance.  When he first appears, you do think, “Hey, it’s Patrick Stewart!”  But, within minutes, you forget who is playing him.  He becomes Darcy and you’re scared to death of him and his followers.

Green Room is an incredibly intense and scary film.  It also features perhaps the best performance of Anton Yelchin’s career.  Green Room stands as a testament to a talent taken too early.

(On a purely personal note: I’m glad that Green Room took place in Oregon.  Too often, movies tend to portray racism as being an exclusively Southern issue, one that somehow magically disappears once you head up north.  It often feels as if people spend so much time talking about racism in other states that they fail to actually look at what’s happening in their own backyard.  It’s easier to laugh at a state like Alabama than to ask why someone like Eric Garner died on the streets of New York City.  Racism is an American issue, and that includes the states both below and above the Mason-Dixon line.)

patrick-stewart

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Don’t Breathe (dir by Fede Alvarez)


stephen-lang-in-dont-breathe1

I’m currently on vacation but don’t worry!  I would never let a little thing like taking some time off get in the way of reviewing movies here on the Shattered Lens.  (Especially not when we’re in the middle of our annual Horrorthon!)

Before we left Dallas, Jeff and I finally saw Don’t Breathe.  It’s hard for me to explain why it took me so long to see Don’t Breathe.  Ever since I first saw the trailer this summer, I had been excited about eventually getting to watch it.  When the first few positive reviews started to come in, I got even more excited.  Everything I heard about Don’t Breathe made it sound like this was a film that was specifically made for enjoyment.

But then the film was actually released and it was just so damn popular.  It was number one at the box office.  It got great word of mouth.  People on twitter wouldn’t shut up about how scary it was and how much they loved it.  While I realize that this actually says a lot more about me than it does about the state of current American cinema, there was a part of me that started to think, “How good could it be if everyone else loves it?”  Traditionally, the best horror films have always struggled to find an audience.  Whenever the majority automatically embraces any work of art, that’s usually not a good sign.

And so, I put off seeing Don’t Breathe.  I decided to wait until it was a little less popular.  I didn’t want to have to watch this film surrounded by a bunch of people who didn’t know names like Argento, Fulci, and Rollin so I waited until the showings would be a little less packed.  Finally, last Tuesday, I saw Don’t Breathe.

Seriously — what was I thinking waiting so long?

Like almost all recent independent horror films, Don’t Breathe takes place in Detroit and the first few minutes of the film are dedicated to giving us a tour of a city in decline.  As we stare at the collapsing buildings, the potholed streets, and the desolate lots of overgrown weeds, we’re forced to consider whether any cinematic horrors could possibly match the horrors of real life.

Those establishing shots of Detroit are important for another reason.  They also provide all the motivation that our three protagonists need.  All we have to do is look at the landscape and we understand why they’re so desperate to find something better in life.  (And, of course, you can’t find something better unless you have the money to look…)  Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex (Dylan Minnette), and Money (Daniel Zovatto) make their living breaking into houses and selling what they steal.  Money is their leader.  Alex’s father owns a home security company, which gives Alex access to everyone’s security code.  (Of course, Alex’s main motivation is that he’s in love with Rocky.)  As for Rocky, she’s just trying to raise enough money so that she and her younger sister can escape to California.

Money is given a tip about a blind army veteran (Stephan Lang) who apparently has $30,000 stored in his home.  (He won the money in a court settlement after his daughter was killed by a rich girl who was driving drunk.)  The veteran is the last remaining resident of an otherwise deserted neighborhood.  He spends all of his time in his large but dilapidated house, apparently living with only a viscous guard dog.  Money figures that all they have to do is drug the dog and then they can break into the house and steal everything that they need.  Money assures the hesitant Alex that it’ll be easy because the man’s blind and he really doesn’t need the cash anyway.

Of course, it doesn’t quite work out like that.  The three of them get into the house pretty easily but getting out proves to be much more difficult.  And when the man wakes up and hears his house being broken into, he turns out to be far more formidable and much more dangerous than any of them thought.

About halfway through Don’t Breathe, there’s a big twist that I didn’t care much for.  As played by Stephen Lang, the blind man was already intimidating enough without turning him into a Saw-style super villain.  But, even with that in mind, Don’t Breathe works.  It’s a relentless and well-directed thrill ride, with the camera freely roaming through that deserted house and the cast all giving good and believable performances.

Ultimately, the film is dominated by Stephen Lang.  Lang is one of those good actors who never seems to get the roles that he deserves.  (He was in Avatar but, in that film, he was 1) saddled with a bad accent, 2) had to recite some of the most melodramatic dialogue ever written, and 3) was stuck playing a character who was so thinly drawn that it’s a stretch to say he was even one-dimensional.)  When you first see the man, your natural instinct is to feel sorry for him.  He’s blind, he’s got a tragic backstory, and now he’s got three people trying to rob him.  That’s why it’s such a shock when you first discover just how dangerous and evil he actually is.  Lang transforms the man into one of the most memorable monsters of this very monstrous year.

So, if you haven’t seen Don’t Breathe, go see it.  Don’t let the fact that its popular scare you off.

db

The TSL’S Daily Horror Grindhouse: Night of the Seagulls (dir by Amando de Ossorio)


blinddeadseagulls

The Blind Dead returned for a fourth and final time in 1975’s The Night of the Seagulls!

That’s right, Night of the Seagulls was Amando de Ossorio’s final Blind Dead film.  After having the Blind Dead somehow turn up on a boat in The Ghost Galleon, Night of the Seagulls returns to the more familiar ground made famous by Tomb of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead.

That said, it really wouldn’t be a Blind Dead film if there was too much continuity so, once again, we get an entirely new origin story for the Blind Dead.  Yes, they’re still undead Templars and yes, they still practiced witchcraft in the 1400s and were executed as a result.  But now, the Templars apparently rise from the sea every seven years and, for seven consecutive days, they demand that the local villagers chain a virgin to a rock so that she may be sacrificed.

What I’m wondering if how exactly the villagers figured out that this is what the Blind Dead want.  The Blind Dead never speak.  In fact, they’re so decayed that if one of them tried to speak, it’s probable that his lower jaw would fall off.  So, how do the villagers know that every seven years, they have to offer up seven consecutive virgins?

Who knows?  Maybe the Blind Dead are actually just like, “Why do the villagers keep demanding that we kill all of their virgins?  We just want to hang out and chill.  Oh well, we don’t want to be rude so I guess we better do some killing…”

I mean, seriously, it just seems like this entire problem could have been avoided.

Anyway, there’s a new doctor in town.  Dr. Henry Stein (Victor Petit) and his wife, Joan (Maria Kosti), can’t understand why none of the villagers want to talk to them or why the old doctor is so eager to get out of the village.  I think some of the problem may have to do with the fact that Henry is one of the angriest doctors that I’ve ever seen.  When he first shows up at the village, he demands to know where his house is.  When the villagers ignore him, he barges into a bar, grabs one random guy, and tosses him up against the wall.  WHERE IS THE HOUSE!? he demands.

Seriously, Doctor, calm down.  I wouldn’t go to that guy for checkup.  He might get mad and throw something at me if I told him that I occasionally forget to take my ADHD meds.  That would be scary.

Since the doctor and his wife are new in town, they don’t really get the whole virgin sacrifice thing.  In fact, they attempt to keep one virgin from being sacrificed and this leads to the Blind Dead laying siege on their house.  For the most part, it probably would have been better if they had just minded their own business…

Night of the Seagulls can’t really compare to the first two Blind Dead films.  It takes a little bit too long to get going and everyone in the movie is pretty unlikable so you really don’t care whether the Blind Dead kill them or not.  (At the same time, as opposed to Tomb of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead, no one is unlikable enough for you to root for the Blind Dead insteaf.)  That said, the Blind Dead are still scary and decaying and, after being stuck on that boat all through the previous film, they’re riding horses again!  And yes, they ride them in slow motion and yes, it looks freaking badass!

Night of the Seagulls is an okay Spanish horror film.  It may not be a perfect send off for the Blind Dead but it’s not terrible either.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: The Ghost Galleon (dir by Amando de Ossorio)


gg

The Blind Dead are back and this time, they’re on a boat!

Yes, you read that correctly.  1974’s The Ghost Galleon is the third film in Spanish director Amando de Ossorio’s Blind Dead series.  The decaying and blind Knight Templar are back and they’re just as evil and blood thirsty as they were in both Tombs of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead.  However, this time, they’re on a boat.  What are they doing on a boat?  Apparently, they’re guarding some sort of Satanic treasure chest and they’re killing and eating anyone who makes the mistake of boarding their boat.

That means that this is the first Blind Dead film to not feature any scenes of the Blind Dead riding their horses in slow motion.  That may not sounds like much but the absence of those horses is definitely felt.  The Blind Dead on horses are a metaphor for everything from political tyranny to religious oppression.  The Blind Dead on a boat are still scary but now they’re also vaguely silly.

And yet, the Blind Dead on a boat is not the silliest part of the film!  The Ghost Galleon starts out with two models lost at sea.  Apparently, they were hired by a businessman and aspiring politician named (in the version released in America, anyway) Howard Tucker (Jack Taylor).  Howard is a boat manufacturer and he felt it would be great publicity if the models took one of his boats out into the ocean and pretended to get stranded.  Apparently, Howard felt that this would convince the public that they could live for weeks in one of his speedboats if they needed to…

No, I’m not making that up.  That’s the plot of the damn film.

ANYWAY — the models get stranded for real but suddenly, here comes a big, dark, old timey galleon.  It’s just floating out in the middle of the ocean and it appears to be surrounded by a very thick fog.  Naturally, the models decide to leave their boat for the galleon because why stay somewhere vaguely safe when you can get on a big, scary, evil looking galleon?

Now the models are missing and Howard needs to get his boat back.  So, he and his evil henchman get yet another model to sail out to the middle of the ocean with them.  Also accompanying them is a historian/scientist guy, who is mostly there because the film will later need him to fill in the backstory of the Blind Dead…

Now, I know that it probably sounds like I’m being supercritical of the third Blind Dead film but actually, it kind of works.  The key is not to worry about logic, consistency, or anything you learned about at that screenwriting workshop.  Instead, simply accept The Ghost Galleon as being the equivalent of a filmed nightmare.  For everything that the film lacks in logic, it makes up for in atmosphere.  (Let’s just say that the fog machine gets quite a workout.)  And while it may not make much sense for them to be on a boat, the Blind Dead are just as scary, evil, and merciless as ever.

Add to that, the film has a great ending.  I won’t spoil it here but I will say that the film’s final shot makes up for a lot of what you have to sit through in order to reach it.

The Ghost Galleon should not be the first Blind Dead film that you see.  (Unfortunately, it can be found in several ultra cheap box sets, complete with a bad transfer and spotty soundtrack.)  But if you’ve seen Tombs of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead, you should also see The Ghost Galleon.  If nothing else, it proves the de Ossorio could get results with even the most ludicrous of premises.