Like Father, Like Son”

Posted on June 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s episode of The Love Boat is all about second chances!

Episode 2.17 “Second Chance / Don’t Push Me / Like Father, Like Son”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on January 27th, 1979)

As usual, this week’s episode presents us with three different stories involving people on the cruise. Two of them aren’t that interesting and I’m going to deal with them first.

Fred Beery (Roddy McDowall) is a nerdy guy who is sailing on The Love Boat to get away from his clingy, marriage-obsessed girlfriend, Christine (Tammy Grimes). However, Christine shows up at the last minute and boards the boat with Fred. Fred suddenly starts sneezing. When Christine asks Fred to marry her, he sneezes and, for some reason, she assumes that was his way of saying yes. Fred goes to Doc Bricker and wonders if he could be allergic to Christine. Doc says that people can be allergic to one another. Fred is excited because this gives him an excuse not to marry Christine. But then Fred changes his mind and discovers that he’s no longer allergic to Christine. However, Christine now finds Fred to be too clingy and doesn’t want to marry him and …. well, that’s pretty much the storyline.

This was a bit of an annoying storyline. Even with Roddy McDowall in the role, Fred was not particularly likable. Fred’s refusal to get married and his sudden “allergy” was played for laughs but, when seen today, it’s hard not to feel that Fred is basically deep in denial. If this episode were made today, it would end with Fred finding the courage to come out and Christine realizing the real reason why he didn’t want to marry her. But, since it was made in the 70s, it ends with Fred begging Christine to give him a second chance.

The second storyline featured Robert Mandan and Randolph Mantooth as a father and a son who were both in love with the same woman (Cathy Lee Crosby). Crosby, however, was far more attracted to the older Mandan than the younger (and, it seemed, alcoholic) Mantooth. In the end, Mantooth made peace with the idea of the woman he loved becoming his stepmother. It sounds like the premise of a Lifetime movie.

But enough about those stories. The story that actually worked featured Debbi Morgan as Stephanie Jackson, a recent parolee who Isaac convinced the Captain to hire to work in the gift shop. When some pearl earrings go missing, Stephanie is the number one suspect because she was previously arrested for shoplifting. Isaac has to figure out if Stephanie stole the jewelry or if she still deserves her second chance. Eventually, it is revealed that Stephanie did steal the earrings but she also returned them hours later, locking them up in the gift shop’s safe. Stephanie nearly returned to her criminal ways but had a change of heart. After hearing her confession, the Captain tells Stephanie that she did the right thing and that she will continue to work at the gift shop.

I actually liked this storyline. Some of that was because Debbi Morgan gave a good performance as Stephanie. But also I liked the fact that The Love Boat was highlighting the importance of helping out the formerly incarcerated. Too often, when people get out of prison, they find themselves without any opportunities. Most businesses and stores will always find an excuse not to hire someone with a criminal record and, as a result, those recently released are not left with many options beyond returning to a life of crime. If we’re going to insist that prison is about rehabilitation than we have to be willing to give the formerly incarcerated a chance to prove that they’ve been rehabilitated. The Love Boat may have been a rather silly show but, with this episode, it sailed with an important message.

Next week: The Love Boat hosts a high school reunion!

Cleaning Out The DVR #36: Toni Braxton: Unbreak My Heart (dir by Vondie Curtis-Hall)

Posted on March 18, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(For those following at home, Lisa is attempting to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing 38 films by the end of today!!!!! Will she make it? Keep following the site to find out!)

It’s becoming a new annual tradition. Every January, Lifetime airs a biopic about a singer. As I watched Toni Braxton: Unbreak My Heart, I found myself thinking about what makes a good biopic. Unfortunately, good lives rarely make good biopics. After all, we watch biopics for the drama behind-the-scenes. When someone has lived a successful life and has basically lived her life with intelligence and integrity, it makes them a role model. But it doesn’t necessarily make them into a fascinating subject for a movie.

Now, I have to admit that, before watching this movie, I didn’t know much about Toni Braxton. My musical taste tends to run from EDM to more EDM. I had heard the name Toni Braxton, of course. I knew that there was a reality show called Braxton Family Values, though I’ve never seen an episode. But I didn’t know much about her or her life.

So, as I watched, I kept waiting for the inevitable moment when Toni Braxton would first be pressured into trying cocaine or when she would end up in an abusive marriage or when she would eventually end up going through a Hellish rehab experience. But none of that happened, largely because Toni Braxton appears to have been pretty intelligent when it came to making her life decisions.

Oh, there’s certainly some drama. She had some financial difficulties early on her career. Some members of her family get jealous of her success but not so jealous that they can’t be totally supportive. She gets married but the marriage ends — not because of infidelity or abuse but just because sometimes marriages end. And really, Lifetime should be commended for the way it handled the end of Braxton’s marriage because sometimes, marriages just don’t work out and it’s not anyone’s fault. Finally, Toni discovers the she has Lupus. Lupus is a serious disease and both Toni and the movie deserve full credit for educating the public.

In the end, Toni Braxton: Unbreak My Heart is a well-made and perfectly pleasant film but it’s not particularly memorable Lex Scott Davis does a good as Toni and the film provides good roles for a lot of talented African-American performers. But, as a movie, Toni Braxton: Unbreak My Heart never quite reaches the memorable heights of last year’s Whitney.

Embracing the Melodrama Part II #54: Mandingo (dir by Richard Fleischer)

Posted on May 3, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Up until last night, I was under the impression that James Mason never gave a single bad performance over the course of his long career. Oh sure, I knew that Mason had probably appeared in his share of bad films. But I figured he was one of those actors who was always better than his material. Just watch Lolita, The Verdict, Julius Caesar, Odd Man Out, Bigger Than Life, or Murder By Decree and you’ll see that James Mason was a great actor.

But then, last night, I finally got around to watching the 1975 film, Mandingo.

I’ve actually owned Mandingo on DVD for a few years. I bought it on a whim, the result of having seen it listed as one of the worst films of all time in several different reference guides. But I have to admit that I did not have any great desire to actually sit through the film. Instead, it was one of those films that you buy just so your very ownership of it can be a conversation piece.

(“Oh my God, Lisa, what’s this?” “Oh, that little old thing? That’s my copy of Mandingo…”)

However, when I decided to do Embracing the Melodrama, Part II, I realized that this would be the perfect time to actually watch and review Mandingo.

Mandingo deals with life on a sordid plantation in pre-Civil War Alabama. Warren Maxwell (James Mason) owns the plantation and he spends most of his time sweating and complaining about his rheumatism. When a Satanic slave trader named Brownlee (Paul Benedict) suggests that Warren can cure his rheumatism by always resting his feet on the backs of two little slave children, Warren proceeds to do just that. Seriously, this is a 127 minute film and, nearly every time that Mason appears on screen, he’s got his feet propped up on the children.

Warren’s got a son named Hammond (Perry King). Hammond walks with a limp, the result of a childhood pony accident. Warren expects Hammond to sire an heir to Maxwell family legacy but Hammond is only comfortable having sex with slaves. Finally, during a business trip with his decadent friend Charles (Ben Masters), Hammond meets and marries Blanche (Susan George). Blanche assures Hammond that she’s a virgin and, on their wedding night, she asks Hammond how to have sex. “We take off our clothes…” Hammond begins.

However, the morning after, Hammond is convinced that Blanche lied about being virgin because she enjoyed having sex. Once they return to the plantation, Hammond refuses to touch Blanche and instead ends up falling in love with a slave named Ellen (Brenda Sykes). When Ellen gets pregnant, Blanche beats her until she miscarries.

And meanwhile, James Mason keeps popping up with two little kids resting underneath his feet…

But that’s not all! Hammond has purchased a slave named Mede (Ken Norton). Mede is a boxer and wins Hammond a lot of money. In order to “toughen up” his skin, Mede is also forced to bathe in a cauldron of very hot water. “Shuck down those pants!” Hammond shouts before Mede gets in the cauldron.

Blanche, who is now an alcoholic, gets her revenge on Hammond by having sex with the the legendarily endowed Mede. Soon, Blanche is pregnant and Hammond and Warren are both excited. Then the baby is born and all Hell breaks loose.

And, meanwhile, James Mason rests his feet on the back of two little kids…

Mandingo is one of those films that you watch in wide-eyed amazement, shocked that not only was this movie made but it was also apparently made by a major film studio and directed by a professional director. (Before he directed Mandingo, Richard Fleischer directed everything from 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea to Doctor Dolittle to Soylent Green.) I know that some would argue that Mandingo used the conventions of exploitation cinema to expose the sickening inhumanity of American slavery but let’s be honest here. Mandingo is not Django Unchained. Instead, it’s a slow-moving soap opera that is occasionally redeemed by some over-the-top dialogue and histrionic performances.

And it’s also proof that James Mason was capable of giving a bad performance. According to the imdb, James Mason described Mandingo as a film that he did solely for the paycheck. From his terrible Southern accent to the way that he always seems to be trying to hide his face from the camera, Mason gives perhaps one of the worst performances ever given by a legitimately great actor.

But really, can you blame him?

Back to School #67: Coach Carter (dir by Thomas Carter)

Posted on September 20, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

You all have got twitter to blame for this review. I vaguely remember Coach Carter playing in theaters back in 2005 but I didn’t see it. To be honest, the only thing that bores me more than high school football is high school basketball. I have to admit that I really can’t stand to watch basketball, largely because I hate the way the player’s shoes are always squeaking on the court. It just hurts my ears.

But, I’ve noticed that whenever Coach Carter shows up on television, everyone on my twitter timeline seems to get excited about it. Coach Carter is one of those films that is obviously popular with a lot of people so, when I saw that it was going to be playing on Showtime last week, I figured why not?

And you know what?

Coach Carter is actually a pretty good movie. If I don’t seem overly enthusiastic about it, that’s because I’m just not into sports. But I do love movies and Coach Carter is an effective film. That it’s predictable isn’t really that much of a surprise. Predictability is actually probably one of the main appeals of the sports genre. But Coach Carter is distinguished by a strong cast and it has a pretty good message to boot.

Plus, it’s based on a true story! How true I don’t know but I’d like to think that the movie stuck pretty close to the facts if just because the story is so appealing.

Anyway, the Coach Carter of the title is played by Samuel L. Jackson. At the start of the film, Carter takes over as basketball coach at the same inner city high school that he graduated from. When he first starts, his team is rude, disrespectful, and undisciplined. The majority of them have little direction in their lives and have basically pinned whatever hope they have for the future on eventually playing professional basketball.

(I will admit right now that I was really excited to discover that Channing Tatum played one of the players. The only thing that would have made me happier would have been for James Franco to suddenly show up.)

Carter informs his team that, in order to play for him, they have to be willing sign a contract that states that they will treat everyone respectfully, that they will wear a tie on game days, and that they will all maintain a C+ average. Some of the players refuse to sign (and are promptly kicked off the team) but those who do quickly discover that Carter expects them to honor the terms of the contract.

And, under Carter’s leadership, the team goes on to have a great season. They’ve got an undefeated record and appear to be heading for the play-offs when Carter discovers that several members of the team have failed to keep up their grades. To the shock of both the faculty and the community, Carter benches his entire team and announces that none of them will play until all of them have at least a 2.3 GPA.

Needless to say, it all leads to one of those emotional school board meetings that always seems to show up in films like this.

As I stated above, it’s all fairly predictable but the movie itself is well-made. And if anyone was born to play an outspoken basketball coach who isn’t going to let anyone tell him how to run his team, it’s Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson is one of those actors who is so good and so powerful that I think we sometimes tend to take him for granted. Perhaps the best thing about Coach Carter is that it gives Jackson a chance to show what he’s truly capable of doing as an actor.

Again, I really don’t know that much about basketball and I’m not a fan of the game. But, with all that in mind, I was still entertained by Coach Carter. If nothing else, it proved that a lot of the people on my twitter timeline aren’t crazy.

Back to School #58: She’s All That (dir by Robert Iscove)

Posted on September 17, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

She’s All That, a 1999 high school-set adaptation of My Fair Lady, has a lot to answer for.

When I, as an impressionable 13 year-old first saw this film, I left the theater believing that high school would be full of random, fully choreographed dance-offs. That, after all, is what happened towards the end of She’s All That. After watching as handsome jock Zack (Freddie Prinze, Jr.) spent almost the entire movie changing Laney (Rachael Leigh Cook) from an artist into a Prom Queen, the great prom dance-off made for the perfect climax.

I mean, just check it out:

Imagine how disappointed I was, once I finally did reach high school, to discover that it was actually nothing like She’s All That. There were no big dance numbers for no particular reason. I went to five different proms and none of them were ever as much fun as the prom at the end of She’s All That.

So thank you, She’s All That, for getting my hopes up.

As for the rest of the film, it’s a guilty pleasure in much the same way as Never Been Kissed. I was recently doing some research over at the imdb and I was surprised to discover just how many films Freddie Prinze,Jr. made between 1999 and 2002. For the most part, they’ve all got rather generic names. What’s funny is that I probably saw most of them because, back then, I would get excited over almost any PG-rated movie that featured a cute guy and had a hint of romance about it. But, with the exception of She’s All That, I can’t really remember a single one of them. But you know what? Freddie Prinze, Jr. may not be a great actor and his films may have basically all been the same but he had a certain something that, when you were 13 or 14, made him the perfect crush. There was a hot blandness to Freddie Prinze, Jr. that prevented him from being compelling but did make him the perfect star for a film like She’s All That.

Along with featuring that prom dance-off and being the epitome of a Fredde Prinze, Jr. movie, She’s All That is also remembered for featuring Rachael Leigh Cook as one of the most unlikely ugly ducklings in the history of the movies. Rachael plays Laney and the entire film’s starting off point is that Zack has made a bet with Dean (Paul Walker, as handsome here as he was in Varsity Blues) that he can turn Laney into a prom queen. However, it should be a pretty easy bet to win because all Laney has to do is let her hair down, start wearing makeup, and stop wearing her glasses.

Myself, I’m severely myopic. Usually, I wear contact lenses but occasionally, I may be running late or may not feel like putting my contacts in or maybe I just want to try a different look. So, occasionally, I’ll wear my glasses and I have to say that, other than a few guys who always make “hot librarian” jokes, everyone pretty much treats me the same regardless of whether I’m wearing my glasses or not. I do have to admit though that, when I take off my glasses and dramatically let my hair down, I always say that I’m having a She’s All That moment.

Anyway, She’s All That is okay. I like it but I don’t love it and, to be honest, the film’s main appeal is a nostalgic one. Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Paul Walker both look good, Rachael Leigh Cook and Jodi Lynn O’Keefe will keep the boys happy, and Matthew Lillard has a few good scenes where he plays an obnoxious reality tv celeb.

And there’s always that dance number!