Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.14 “Wheeling”

Posted on March 31, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Things get weird in California.

Episode 3.14 “Wheeling”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on December 8th, 1979)

This is one of those weird episodes where Ponch and Jon just keep running into the same people over and over again.

Artie (Paul Gale), Don (Ray Vittie), and Alan (Ron Lombard) are all in wheelchairs but they’re not going to let that stop them from enjoying life and, far more dangerously, playing tag while driving on the highway. Artie’s van taps Alan’s car. Alan taps Don’s car. Don tries to tap Artie’s van. It’s dangerous and Ponch and Jon, when they see it, promptly pull the three men over. Ponch is impressed with Artie’s joie d’vivre. As usual, Baker is less impresses and is like, “You — of all people! — should understand the danger!” (I swear, poor Larry Wilcox. While Erik Estrada got to smile through each episode, it always fell on Wilcox to be the killjoy.)

That said, both Jon and Ponch came to admire Artie and his determination to make sure that all of his wheelchair-bound friends get the most out of life. They even help Artie present a fancy new wheelchair to Brent (David Gilliam), a surfer who has not been able to bring himself to leave the hospital ever since he learned that he will never walk again.

Artie and the gang help out Jon and Ponch as well. Jon and Ponch are searching for a blue car that was involved in a street race that left one teenager with a broken leg. The teenager’s father, Harry (Taylor Lacher), has been speeding up and down the freeway, searching for the car. Harry even made a citizens arrest, though Delgado (Fil Formicola) had an alibi for the time that Harry’s son was injured. While Delgado makes plans to sue Harry for false arrest. Artie happens to spot the blue car that Jon and Ponch are looking for. Way to go, Artie!

But then, after all of this, Artie and his friends decide to race on Harry’s street. Harry goes crazy. He jumps in his car and takes off after Artie’s van, not realizing that Artie was the one who helped the police catch the guy who hit Harry’s son. It leads to a huge accident at a construction site. The van flips over. Harry’s car flips over. Harry breaks his leg. Artie’s breaks both of his arms. The judge sentences Harry to serve as Artie’s manservant until Artie’s arms heal. Everyone has a good laugh, including Harry.

What a weird episode! I mean, its heart was definitely in the right place. The whole point of the episode was that Artie and his friends were just as capable as anyone who could walk. That’s a good message. But, then, out of nowhere, Artie is suddenly involved in a street race and Harry is trying to crash into his van. And then, at the end of it, everyone finds it all to be terrifically amusing. And somehow, Ponch and Jon manage to be at the scene of every incident involved Harry, Artie, and Artie’s friends. Like, seriously, what are the odds? There are other highway patrolmen in California.

Again, a strange episode. As always, the scenery was nice. It’s always fun to see what the world looked like in 1979. And I appreciated that this episode made a strong case for people not taking it upon themselves to make a citizens arrest because, seriously, people who do that tend to be so obnoxious.

Anyway, I enjoyed it. It was just weird enough to be fun. Drive safely out there!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.8 “The Grudge”

Posted on July 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch and Baker face their greatest enemy …. frat boys with a grudge!

Episode 2.8 “The Grudge”

(DIr by John Florea, originally aired on November 11th, 1978)

When Baker and Ponch attempt the warn the driver of an RV about the fact that his vehicle won’t be able fit through a tunnel, the driver reacts by trying to speed away. That’s because the driver is a frat boy and the RV is full of marijuana (or “Cannabis Rex!” as another frat boy puts it). This leads to the RV not only crashing in the tunnel but also Baker and Ponch busting all of the frat boys for possession.

A few months later, the frat boys are horrified when, despite only getting probation, they are still suspended from college and their fraternity is kicked off campus. The frat boys decide to get revenge on Baker and Ponch by playing a series of practical jokes. They send Baker and Ponch mysterious letters. They toss a bunch of fake money on the highway, causing a slow motion wreck. They try to disrupt the CHiPs open house, over which Baker and Ponch have been put in charge.

This was a bit of a silly episode. The frat boys somehow had the ability to always know exactly where Ponch and John were. For some reason, Ponch and John didn’t do the obvious and bust the frat boys for violating their probation. Sgt. Getraer, meanwhile, spends almost the entire episode being a jerk. He puts Ponch and Baker in charge of the open house and then gets mad at them for working on it while on the clock. Well, when are they supposed to work on it?

The episode did feature one good car crash. In fact, not only were multiple vehicles destroyed but it all happened in slow motion. That made up for a lot. Still, in the end, The Grudge was just a bit too silly to really work.

Horror Film Review: Frogs (dir by George McGowan)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1972’s Frogs opens with Pickett Smith (played by a youngish Sam Elliott) canoeing through the bayou, taking pictures of all of the local sights. Pickett is a nature photographer and someone who is very concerned about what pollution is doing to the local wildlife. Eventually, Pickett ends up meeting the Crocketts, the wealthy family that owns and lives on an isolated island. Wheelchair-bound family patriarch Jason Crockett (Ray Milland) is looking forward to celebrating the 4th of July. It’s a tradition and he goes all out, decorating the mansion with American flags and listening to patriotic music. The Crockett family always celebrates with Jason, though it quickly becomes apparent that Jason would be just as comfortable celebrating without any of them.

The last thing that Jason Crockett wants is some preachy environmentalist showing up at his mansion and ruining the 4th of July with a bunch of complaints about the pesticides that he’s been using to keep away the island’s wildlife. The only thing worse than having to deal with an environmentalist would be having to deal with an invasion of alligators, snakes, and frogs. Unfortunately, Jason is going to have to spend his holiday dealing with all of those things. Soon, the mansion is surrounded by frogs and servants and family members are showing up dead all over the place.

I’ve seen Frogs a handful of times. It’s one of those films that many of my friends seem to like much more than I do. I have to admit that, for whatever reason, I always find myself struggling to focus on the film. Some of that is because there are more than a few slow spots. But the main problem is that frogs really aren’t that menacing. Frogs are cute and kind of goofy-looking, much like Sam Elliott without his mustache. The alligators are certainly scary. And there’s an attack by a cottonmouth that makes me go, “Agck!” every time that I see it. But frogs just look cute when they start hopping around. Our cat gets excited whenever he sees a frog because he knows that he can put his paw on their back and make them jump. Frogs aren’t threatening but I suspect that’s probably the point of the film. Frogs is not a film that is meant to be taken too seriously and all of the close-ups of the frogs staring at Ray Milland, Sam Elliott, Joan Van Ark, and Adam Roarke are obviously meant to be more humorous than scary. By the end of the film, the frogs are hopping over American flags, like a group of rebellious amphibians that have decided to stage their own 1968 Democratic Convention.

The majority of the cast is adequate if not exactly outstanding, with most of them doing what they can to try to look terrified of a bunch of frogs. That said, the only one who really makes a strong impression is Ray Milland, who appears to relish the opportunity to play someone who dislikes literally everyone that he sees. As played by Milland, Jason is so honest about being a miserable old man that it’s hard not to like him. He doesn’t like humanity and he’s not going to pretend otherwise. One gets the feeling that, when this film was released, he was meant to represent the same establishment that got America into Vietnam. When viewed today, he comes across like the one person who would be smart enough to never get on social media.

Reportedly, this was one of Andy Warhol’s favorite films. I’m glad he enjoyed it.