Getting In The Holiday Spirit #1: The Night Before Christmas (dir by Edwin S. Porter)


I love the holiday so much and it’s not just because I usually get lots of presents, though I do love the excitement of waking up on the morning of the 25th and looking at all those wrapped presents sitting underneath the tree   I also love getting to spend time with my family and friends.  For me, the holidays are all about love, happiness, togetherness, and everything else that should be observed all year, as opposed to just one day.

Plus, sometimes, it snows!  I love snow.

So, are you in the Holiday spirit yet?  I know that TSL contributor Patrick Smith is because he’s been tracking down scary Christmas films for me and the other members of the Late Night Movie Gang to check out.  Seriously, just try to watch Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny or whatever it’s called.  Agck!

Well, if you’re not in the spirit yet, don’t worry!  I’m here to help!  This week, I will be sharing 6 holiday classics that just happen to be on YouTube!  For instance, check out the adorable film below.  The Night Before Christmas was made 110 years ago, in 1905.  It was directed by film pioneer Edwin S. Porter and it’s based on the famous poem.  In this 11-minute silent film, we watch as both Santa and a family get ready for Christmas.  Watching this film, it’s amazing to see how little Christmas tradition has changed.

Enjoy a piece of film and holiday history below!

 

#LateNightMovie Review: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny


Every year, since 2013, us as a #LateNightMovie gang have had an annual Christmas party week. In 2014 it was two weeks and this year it will be three weeks. And as a joke, myself and Tammy (@TRDownden) try to find the worst #LateNightMovie ever.

And as Tammy, and the rest of the gang admitted, I found it!

The movie I put the gang thru was “Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

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Cast: As I researched this movie, literally, no cast member wanted to be associated with this movie, but here is what I could find.
Director: R. Winer

Writer: Hans Christian Andersen (You will get this if you watched the movie)

Santa: Jay Ripley

Plot:

In Florida, Santa has his sleigh stuck in the sand. To escape the heat all of his reindeer fly back to the North Pole, leaving him in the heat. Passing out from the heat, Santa telepathically summons local children to help. The children bring several animals, including a donkey, a horse, a gorilla and most hilariously a pig, to try and get the sleigh free.

When all efforts fail, Santa tells the children the story of a girl who visits a theme park and hears the story of ‘Thumbelina’. At this point, the movie-in-a-movie starts, with the entire 1970 Barry Mahon ‘Thumbelina’ playing, credits and all.

After the movie, Santa tells the children not to give up. The children leave and return with an Ice Cream Bunny driving a fire truck. The bunny offers to take Santa back to the North Pole. The kids left wondering about the sleigh, it disappears and joins Santa at the North Pole.

Review:

Gawd, this movie was horrible! I mean really horrible! If you are sitting around with 96 minutes of your life you never want back, try and sit thru this movie. I will almost put that out as a dare.

Quips:

As always, the #LateNightMovie gang brought their A game to this movie. Here is a sampling of the snarky fun!

TRDowden:
Annnd we just found an even more annoying song

(referring to another movie we will watch!)

WarrenPeas64:
So… exactly how much LSD would it take to write this?
TRDowden:
Did Vic Savage direct this one too?*

PinkyGuerrero:
no one thinks to get an adult with a brain to help

kellythul:
Little children, animals, creepy old guy… this IS a Vic Savage film *

*Great minds thinking alike!

TRDowden:
Is there going to be trauma therapists on hand after this movie, because we’re gonna need it

WarrenPeas64:
I think I’ve been to the other part of Florida – the parts I’ve been to don’t have children wandering the beach with farm animals

JesCoolbaugh:
Plot twist, the horse kicks Santa in the jingle bells…

PinkyGuerrero:
Ok, how ironic that Santa say if you have faith your dreams will come true, and he can’t move his sleigh
Janeen_FluffyJ:
Wow! Santa heard our wishes and gave us a new movie! LOL
(And Thumbelina begins)
kellythul:
Was this movie one of the 7 plagues set upon Egypt? It should have been

WarrenPeas64:
When this bottle is empty I’m going to hit myself in the head with it

Janeen_FluffyJ:
Great… now our hell is freezing over.
TRDowden:
The director really needed to quit licking frogs at this point
WarrenPeas64:
Hey – I am LOVING this – we’re MYSTing a movie that’s nearly as bad as Frankenstein’s Island
(Nearly as bad???)

JesCoolbaugh:
Ahahahahaha!!! THe coming was foretold!!!
kellythul:
makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop
WarrenPeas64:
Bet you guys aren’t pitying me for being a Jew now, are ya? are ya?

JesCoolbaugh:
Even Santa can’t take another song. F’k the sleigh, let’s get outta here!!!

Thanks Amber, Becs, Myke, Cindy, Holly, Jinni, Jes, Kelly, Phil, Pinky, Warren, Matt, Kurt, Tammy and Myrna for watching this disaster with me!

If you dare to try and sit thru this movie, here is your chance!

Let’s Watch Santa Claus Conquers The Martians!


Hooray for Santy Claus!

We have a few traditions here at the Shattered Lens.  Every Halloween, for instance, we feature Night of the Living Dead.  And every Christmas Eve, we watch a little film from 19644 called Santa Claus Conquers The Martians!

Or, as Santa himself might put it, “Oh me, oh my…”

Enjoy!

 

Duke Tries A Halloween Marathon…Part Two.


This is part two of my attempt at partaking in a October horror marathon. The first part of which can be found here.

October 5th (Watched two because I didn’t have time on the 4th): ‘Frankenstein’s Army’ (dir. Richard Raaphorst)

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‘Frankenstein’s Army’ is a WWII found footage film with a weirdness and creativity that makes for one fun, goofy and clever experience…if you can get past the headache inducing sound design.

The film is about a small squad of Russian soldiers, behind enemy lines, who stumble upon an eerily abandoned church. What they find inside is a lab of a decedent of Victor Frankenstein, who has been experimenting with the bodies of soldiers (friend and foe) and turning them into mindless monsters mixed with machinery of all sorts.

The film is shot in a found footage style and it actually works. The explanation behind it is essentially they are trying to make a propaganda film. There is the usual question as to why they are still filming during certain scenes, but I actually think the film as a whole would not have worked as well had it been filmed conventionally.

The best thing about the film is easily the production, at least visually. There are some really well done long takes, often with characters in the background doing things that one might miss if they aren’t paying attention. The costume/monster designs are wonderfully weird and creative. They definitely had fun with the concept, and it shows.

The only issue I had was the sound design, which was mindbogglingly annoying. I mean really bad. So screechy, scratchy and just plain irritating. I understand that because of the nature of some of the monsters and their machine parts that it would require these sorts of sounds, but ultimately they add nothing to the experience except a headache. However, this might only be me. Others might not have the same response, so I won’t really hold it against the film – I just probably will never watch it again.

Overall this is a fun, if hollow, film worthy of at least one viewing. The performances aren’t great, and the dialogue is exactly what you’d expect from this sort of film. There is no subtext and no real scares. Still, it is so creative and so bat-shit crazy at times that it would be a shame to pass it up if given the opportunity. Especially when it is a lean 84 minutes.

‘The Midnight Meat Train’ (dir. Ryûhei Kitamura)

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‘The Midnight Meat Train’ is a brutal and violent horror film, that is unfortunately dragged down by some scripting and pacing issues.

The film stars Bradley Cooper as a photographer who, after being told to be a bit riskier in his search for great photos, finds himself face to face with Vinnie Jones, a butcher who is brutally murdering people on a train. Cooper begins to follow Jones in an attempt to gather evidence of the murders, all the while the darkness of the situation taking its tool emotionally on him.

The biggest issue I had was the pacing of the story as well as the characters. It is a weird situation in which I simultaneously wished it would slow down in terms of character development, while also picking up the pacing for the horror. There is such a rapid shift in the emotions of the characters that – although valid – happen way to abruptly. What is worse is that it isn’t like they don’t have enough time to draw this out. Because they do…almost too much so, to the point that I was also wishing they’d hurry up with the horror elements.

This wouldn’t have been too big of an issue if not for the fact that it made me lose interest in a lot of what was happening. I wasn’t invested in the characters or the horror because of it, and so any attempts at creating suspense were lost of me – leaving me with only the graphic and brutal kills on the train, which just aren’t my thing. I can handle gore, but find it utterly pointless – and distasteful – when there is little to no meaning behind it.

It wasn’t all bad though, with the stand out being the direction. There is some really great camerawork, especially in a scene set in an apartment. I also liked the visual contrasts between the surface and train scenes; and Vinnie Jones was cool, calm and terrifying. The ending was also great, where there is a reveal of a mythical plot line that is alluded to throughout most of the film. It is a very weird tonal shift, and goes a long way towards adding meaning to a lot of what came before it…sadly it is a case of too little too late.

Overall I didn’t hate it, but an hour in I was just ready for it to finally be over…and imagine my dismay when I realized there was another 40 minutes or so left. It is the sort of horror film in which its failings are harder for me to ignore, as I might in another film, given the content. If you are looking for just a gory horror film in which the shock value is simply the brutal violence, then this might be for you. If you are looking for something with a bit more substance, than you may want to look elsewhere.

October 6th: ‘Black Christmas’ (dir. Bob Clark)

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‘Black Christmas’, considered to be one of the first ever slasher films, is an efficient, effective and highly enjoyable horror film – one I will definitely revisit often.

The film is set during Christmas at a sorority, the members of which are being harassed by someone making creepy prank calls. As many of them leave for the holiday break, one goes missing, setting off a search for her and the person calling the house. As the remaining sorority sisters try to deal with this, they begin to be killed off one by one by a killer who may potentially be someone very close to them.

The only issue I had was with a particular mannerism of the killer. The film took on a first person perspective whenever he appeared – which was effectively spooky- but there was quite a lot of moaning and weird grunts coming from him at the same time. They were meant to be eerie, and in the end worked because of the nature of his mania and the calls to the house – but it was ultimately more annoying than unsettling.

But I can easily overlook this minor issue because of just how well made the film is. There is a genuine feeling of suspense here, partly because of the whodunit nature of the murders; and also because of the closeness of the killer throughout the events of the film. You never know who it is, what will set him off, or who will be killed next – but you do know he is there, waiting.

That said, it isn’t necessarily a scary film per se, but an unsettling and bleak one. The sort that gets under your skin and sticks with you. However, with that, it has to be said that through all the bleakness, there is also a great sense of humor to the story. There is also actually a maturity and depth to the script that I wasn’t expecting. This might be set in a sorority, but it isn’t about partying and dim witted topless girls, like so many slashers that came after it. The women here are smart and mature, dealing with important family and relationship issues. This added a lot to my investment in the characters, and so made the fear of their potential demise all the more suspenseful.

The direction is great – Christmas makes for a perfect setting, at least visually. There is solid pacing and an effective slow build throughout. I was surprised how well the mystery it creates in its first few scenes holds up so well even when things slow down a bit halfway through. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that even when it might not be focused on its creepier slasher elements, it instead is focused on those previously mentioned characters – again making the suspense as the killer stalks them all the more effective. There is no real resolution to the story, but the film is less focused on the actual killer and more focused on building an atmosphere and a story that is almost mythical.

Lastly, as someone who isn’t too knowledgeable in regards to the genre, it was easy to initially think that a lot of the tropes in play were cliche…but once I took into consideration the fact that ‘Black Christmas’ came out in 1974, and was really the start of most of these, they actually added a level of admiration to my already high level of enjoyment. It might not be as good as something like ‘Halloween’, which clearly drew some influence from this, but it deserves to be considered just as much of a classic. This is easily the best film I’ve watched so far for this horror series, and one that I’d add to my list of favorite horror films of all time.

*Side note, it is absolutely hilarious that director Bob Clark also directed ‘A Christmas Story’.

Ghosts of Christmas Past #25: The Twilight Zone 3.37 “The Changing of the Guard”


Seeing as how one of the first ghosts of Christmas Past was an episode of the Twilight Zone, it seems only appropriate that the same should be true of the 2013’s final Christmas ghost.

It’s debatable whether “The Changing of the Guard” is truly a Christmas episode.  However, it does take place during the holiday season and it’s such a wonderful and sweet 23 minutes of television that it simply has to be shared and enjoyed.

The Changing of the Guard, which features a poignant lead performance from Donald Pleasance, originally aired on June 1st, 1962.

All of us here at the Shattered Lens hope that you have had and will continue to have a wonderful holiday season!  Please enjoy The Changing of the Guard.

Ghosts of Christmas Past #24: It’s a Wonderful Life


Just in case you somehow missed your chance to see one of the greatest films ever made, here’s Frank Capra’s classic It’s A Wonderful Life.  I’ve seen this movie a countless number of times.  I can recite every line by memory.  And yet, every time I watch it, I still get tears in my eyes.  If you missed it on TV this year, please feel free to watch it below.

Incidentally, I always related to Violet.

Ghosts of Christmas Past #21: Ghosts of Degrassi Past


Today’s ghost of Christmas past comes to us from my favorite country in the whole entire world, Canada!

Admit it, longtime readers — you knew that I was eventually going to have to find an excuse to include an episode of Degrassi in my holiday series, didn’t you?

Ghosts of Degrassi Past is a mini-episode from 2009.  Holly J is, as usual, stressing out so the ghost of J.T. appears and teachers her a lesson about Christmas spirit.

It’s Degrassi at its best!

 

Ghosts of Christmas Past #20: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians


We have a few traditions here at the Shattered Lens.  One is that we watch Night of the Living Dead on Halloween.  Another is that we watch Treevenge during the holiday season.

And of course, on the weekend before Christmas, we watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Enjoy!