Original Sin”

Posted on October 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s time for the fashion festival!

Episode 4.25 and 4.26 “This Year’s Model/The Model Marriage/Vogue Rogue/Too Clothes for Comfort/Original Sin”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on May 2nd, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat sails to Acapulco for the International Fashion Festival! Vicki, who hopes to grow up to be a fashion designer, is excited about meeting her idols. Doc, Gopher, and Isaac are excited about the models. Captain Stubing starts the cruise by reminding everyone to do their job for once. It’s about time Stubing told them that. Does Doc even keep office hours anymore?

This one of those two-hour episodes of The Love Boat that gets chopped into two episodes for syndication. As such, it’s double-sized, with twice as many guest stars and the boat actually sailing to Acapulco during filming. That doesn’t mean that the storyline are any more complicated than usual on this episode. Despite being longer then usual, the episode follows the usual Love Boat pattern. The extra time is largely taken up with a travelogue of Mexico (watch as a limo very slowly drives to a luxury hotel!) and the fashion show.

Fashion designers Gloria Vanderbilt, Bob Mackie, Halston, and Geoffrey Beene all appear as themselves. They’re listed as guest stars but they don’t actually do anything other than board the ship and then show off their designs. They don’t find love on the boat, nor do they search for it. (Well, Halston probably did….) Interestingly enough, none of them — not even the famous Halston — has much of a screen presence and in the scene where they introduce themselves to the crew, they’re all so stiff that it is somewhat difficult to watch. It’s obvious that none of them were actors but it’s also interesting to consider that there was a time when someone could be internationally famous without being a natural on camera.

There are also a few fictional designers on the cruise. They’re the one who actually have storylines. Harvey Blanchard (Dick Shawn) is not aware that his daughter, Mandy (Debra Clinger), has married his nerdy assistant, Alvin Beale (Richard Gilliand). Mandy wants Alvin to tell her father that they re married during the cruise but first, Alvin is going to have to figure out what to do after he accidentally dumps some designer clothes down a laundry chute and they end up shrinking in the dryer. (“Have you ever considered designing children’s clothing?” Alvin asks his boss.)

Benita James (Elke Sommer) is an “up-and-coming” fashion designer who falls in love with Sidney Sloan (Mike Connors), despite the fact that he’s an industrial spy who has been hired to steal her designs. Sid falls in love with Benita as well and decides that he can’t betray her. But when Sid’s partner (Steve Franken) ransacks Benita’s cabin, will Sid be able to convince her that he wasn’t involved?

Charles Paris (Robert Vaughn, looking somewhat embarrassed) is a cosmetics tycoon who boards the boat looking for the new Ms. Paris, the model who will be the face of his company. Will he pick Liz(Morgan Brittany) the model with whom he is falling in love, or will he pick Joanne Atkins (Carmilla Sparv), the model who has been told that, since she’s now over 35, her career is over?

Speaking of Joanne, she falls in love with Captain Stubing and Stubing falls in love with her. Meanwhile, the married heads of her modeling agency (Anne Baxter and McClean Stevenson, who looks almost as embarrassed as Robert Vaughn) argue over whether or not Joanne is too old to continue on as a model.

Julie is excited because her former sorority sister, Melissa (Cristina Ferrare), is a model on the cruise. Julie can’t wait to spend the whole cruise with her but Melissa meets and falls in love with Larry (Chris Marlowe). When Melissa and Larry run off to get married, Julie takes her friend’s place in the fashion show.

And really, the fashion show is what this episode is all about. The stories aren’t particularly important. We’re here for the clothes!

Bob Mackie starts things off with a really cute collection of lingerie and pajamas, which happen to be my favorite things to wear. I loved his collection.

Gloria Vanderbilt follows with sporty summer fashion, and watching her collection, I found myself wanting to go play tennis with my neighbors.

Geoffrey Beene follows with a collection of plaid suits that will be familiar to anyone who has ever binged a 70s sitcom.

“Up and comer” Benita James presents a collection of truly hideous cocktail dresses.

And Halston closes things out with evening wear. “Red is my favorite color,” Halston says, “It’s so fun.” This redhead appreciates the sentiment, even if it was kind of obvious that Halston didn’t bring his top designs on the cruise with him.

As the highlight of the episode, the fashion show was definitely entertaining though. it was impossible not to smile at just how ugly Benita James’s designs actually were. Seriously, someone went to the trouble to hire two industrial spies to steal those designs?

As for everything else, it all works out. This is The Love Boat. Everything always works out. Charles Paris announces that the new Ms. Paris will be Joanne but then he asks Liz to be “Mrs. Paris.” Sid and Benita decide to get married as well. Captain Stubing gets to have sex for once. I think that may be the first time that’s happened since this show started. Julie enjoys modeling. Everyone either finds love or decides not to get divorced. That’s a successful cruise!

This cruise was fun in its silly way. Bob Mackie definitely won the fashion show. Though the designers may not have been comfortable on camera and McClean Stevenson looked like he was on the verge of jumping overboard from embarrassment, this was The Love Boat at its most entertaining.

An Olympic Film Review: Downhill Racer (dir by Michael Ritchie)

Posted on February 12, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For the past few days, like all good people, I have been totally obsessed with the Winter Olympics! Last week, I asked my friends to suggest some Winter Olympic-themed movies that I could watch and review. More than a few of them immediately recommended that I check out a film called Downhill Racer.

First released in 1969, Downhill Racer tells the story of David Chappellet (a very young and very handsome Robert Redford). When we first meet David, he’s just arrived in Switzerland. An alternate to the U.S. ski team, David has been summoned by Coach Eugene Claire (Gene Hackman) to replace an injured skier. From the minute that David arrives, it’s obvious that he’s not interested in being anyone’s friend. He’s upset that he was an alternate. He’s upset that he’s going to be skiing so late in the competition. He’s upset about … well, almost everything. Unlike the rest of his teammates, he’s a loner and he rarely has much to say. He cares about one thing: winning championships and being recognized as the best. David is not a particularly likable character. However, the fact that he doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks about him is one of the things that makes him compelling. Add to that, David quickly proves himself to be one of the best. He may be arrogant but, more often than not, he can back up his pride.

Why is David so driven? We get some clues when David returns to his hometown in Idaho. Even though everyone in the town knows him and he doesn’t have any trouble convincing a former girlfriend to go off with him, David still seems out-of-place. When he visits his father, the taciturn man is not impressed by David’s success. As his father puts it, the world is full of champions. Why should David deserve any more praise than anyone else?

Standing in contrast to the reservered David is Coach Claire. Whereas David is reserved, Claire is passionate. Whereas David is an unapologetic loner, Claire is willing to fight for every member of his team. Whereas David reacts to a crash by refusing to accept that he made a mistake, Coach Claire is always brutally honest. David couldn’t be a champion without Claire’s help but, in the end, the Coach is destined to remain in the background while David signs lucrative sponsorship deals and becomes a hero to television viewers everywhere.

It’s a familiar story, though perhaps it wasn’t as familiar in 1969 as it is today. Today, we’ve grown accustomed to the idea that celebrities can be jerks and that “heroes” are often just manufactured idols. (Downhill Racer has a good deal of fun with the shallowness of the media’s coverage of David Chappellett’s career.) That said, familiar or not, there’s a good deal of authenticity to be found in the performances of both Redford and Hackman. It takes a bit of courage to play a character who is as narcissistic and arrogant as David Chappellett but, even more so, it takes talent to make that character compelling. As for Hackman, he’s the ideal coach. He knows both how to get the best out of Chappellett but also when to call him out on his crap. From the minute we meet the Coach, we knows that he cares but we also know that he’s seen a lot of David Chappelletts come and go over the years.

Of course, the main reason to watch Downhill Racer is because of the racing scenes, many of which were filmed as a point-of-view shot, putting you in the skis as the frozen landscape flies past you. They are amazing to watch. I’ve never been skiing, which is probably a good thing when you consider that I’m a bit accident-prone. But the skiing sequences in Downhill Racer left me breathless, shaken, and exhilarated.

Downhill Racer is definitely one to watch, during the Olympics or any other time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg3zdWb8LGc

Embracing the Melodrama #30: The Greek Tycoon (dir by J. Lee Thompson)

Posted on July 6, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Theo and Liz: A Love Story

“The characters in this film are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental”. — Completely And Totally False Disclaimer From The Greek Tycoon (1978)

In order to appreciate a film like 1978’s The Greek Tycoon, it helps to be a history nerd like me.

If you are, then you probably know that, 5 years after her husband was assassinated in Dallas, former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy remarried. Her new husband was Aristotle Onassis, a Greek shipping magnate who was 23 years older than her and who had an unsavory reputation. Onassis was one of the world’s richest men and was known for both his extravagant life style and for being a ruthless operator. Depending on which books you read, Onassis is portrayed as either being either one of the world’s greatest villains (and, in fact, there’s a whole school of conspiracy theorists who believed that Onassis was somehow involved in John Kennedy’s assassination) or just a casually amoral rich man who treated his new wife like his latest trophy. Either way, he was not the sort of person who Americans expected to become the second husband of a widowed first lady.

Of course, the Greek Tycoon is not about Aristotle and Jackie Onassis. It’s about another Greek shipping magnate with a ruthless reputation who shocks the world by marrying the widow of a martyred President. And, if you stick with the film all the way through the end credits, you’ll even see a disclaimer to prove it!

Anthony Quinn plays Theo Tomasis. When we first meet him, he’s content to spend his time making crooked business deals and attending parties on a seemingly endless collection of white yachts. He is grooming his son (Edward Albert) to take over the family business. He loves both his wife Simi (Camilla Sparv) and his mistress (Marilu Tolo). In fact, the only problem he has in his life is his business rival, Spyros (Raf Vallone, who played another Greek tycoon in The Other Side of Midnight). Spyros happens to be Theo’s brother. But other than that, Theo is content to spend all of his time dancing and breaking plates because, as the film reminds us every chance that it gets, he’s Greek.

However, things change for Theo when he meets Liz Cassidy (Jacqueline Bisset), the wife of young and charismatic Senator James Cassidy (James Franciscus). Within minutes of meeting her, Theo is hitting on her but Liz loves her husband. However, Sen. Cassidy soon becomes President Cassidy and this, of course, leads to Cassidy being assassinated while he and Liz are strolling down the beach.

Liz is soon married to the freshly divorced Theo and proving herself to be far more strong-willed than anyone realized. Despite the anger and efforts of both Theo’s son and the dead President’s brother (Robin Clarke), Liz and Theo’s love endures and soon, they are such a glamorous and famous couple that its surprising that nobody ever suggests making a movie about them.

The Greek Tycoon is a big mess of a movie but it’s enjoyable if you know what inspired it. (Of course, if you’re not into history and you don’t know anything about Aristotle and Jackie then you’ll probably find The Greek Tycoon to be one of the most boring movies ever made.) To be honest, the story is never important in a film like this. Instead, you watch for the clothes and the sets and they’re all properly glamorous in a 1970s sort of way. Finally, you can watch this movie for Anthony Qunn’s unapologetically over-the-top performance as Theo. I don’t know if you could necessarily say that Quinn gave a good performance here but, watching the film, it certainly does look like he was having fun.