Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.9 “Crash Course”

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

A recently released thief and a bank error are no match for the smiley charisma of Erik Estrada!

Episode 4.9 “Crash Course”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 4th, 1981)

Former getaway driver Sonny Matson (Don Stroud) has just been released from prison and he’s fallen back into his old habits. Everyday, he steals a different car and then robs a different business. His crimes are getting progressively more bold and Baker is determined to catch him.

Meanwhile, Ponch notices that he has an extra $4,000 in his bank account. Trying to do the right thing, Ponch reports the discrepancy. The bank accidentally drains all the money from his account. With his checks bouncing all over town, Ponch tries to get the bank fix their error. Good luck with that, Ponch! Luckily, when one of Sonny’s associates tries to rob the bank, it gives Ponch a chance to play the hero….

It’s The Ponch Show! Baker may be the one with a personal stake in capturing Sonny but Ponch is the one with big grin and the majority of this episode’s screentime. Whether he’s thwarting a bank robbery or recruiting all of his co-workers to help him find proof of the bank’s error, Ponch dominates. Poor Baker.

The best thing about this episode was Don Stroud’s performance as Sonny Matson. Stroud played a lot of low-level criminals over the course of his career. With his quick but unfriendly smile, his paranoid eyes, and his cocky attitude, Stroud is actually rather intimidating as Sonny. Whenever Stroud is onscreen, CHiPs actually feels a little bit dangerous! That this episode was memorable was largely due to Don Stroud and the hideous 70s decor of Ponch’s bank. Tacky and dangerous, that’s our CHiPs!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.2 “It’s A Miserable Life”

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!

Let’s see what’s happening in Springwood!

Episode 1.2 “It’s A Miserable Life”

(Dir by Tom McLoughlin, originally aired on October 16th, 1988)

Bryan Ross (a young John Cameron Mitchell, giving a performance that really can’t be described as being anything less than lousy) is the son of the owner of the Beefy Boy hamburger joint in Springwood, Ohio. Bryan wants to go to college. His dad (Peter Iacangelo) and his mom (Annie O’Donnell) want him to take over the family business and join them in singing “Chew me, eat me, you can’t beat me.”

Bryan is working the overnight shift alone when a scruffy man (Michael Melvin) pulls up to the drive-through on his motorcycle and threatens to kill him. Bryan passes out but, when he wakes up, he’s got a throbbing headache and he keeps seeing blood dripping on the floor. Bryan’s girlfriend, Karyn (Lar Park Lincoln, giving a good performance), takes Bryan home. At his house, Bryan discovers his mom and dad are acting weird. Bryan tries to convince his parents to let him leave home. Dad tries to stick his head in the oven. Mom tries to seduce her son and then climbs into the refrigerator. On the radio, there’s a news story about “another” drive-by shooting. What could it all mean!?

Oh, you know what it all means. Even if you haven’t watched the episode, you know that the motorcycle man obviously shot Bryan in the head and everything that happens after Bryan leaves Beefy Boy is just his dying vision. It’s not a bad idea but it’s ineffectively executed. We don’t really know enough about Bryan or his parents for Bryan’s hallucination to carry any impact and, from what we do see, they all appear to be broadly-drawn caricatures. This episode also commits the sin of introducing a memorable character — the man on the motorcycle — and then not exploring just who or what he was meant to be.

Bryan’s story was wrapped up in 20 minutes. The second half of the episode dealt with Karyn. Shot in the same drive-by attack that killed Bryan, Karyn ended up at the hospital and …. well, I guess her story was another collection of hallucinations that really didn’t add up to much. The story was effective because hospitals are scary and Lar Park Lincoln gave a better performance than John Cameron Mitchell did in his story. That said, the entire story was basically Karyn getting upset because everyone kept saying that her parents were on their way. Finally, Karyn finally revealed that — you guessed it! — her parents were dead and that they died at the same hospital where she was taken after getting shot. As the episode ended, Karyn saw her parents standing in the doorway and screamed and thrashed around in bed while the doctor and nurse tried to calm her. And …. that was it. I mean, is Karyn dead? Is that why her parents showed up? Is Karyn hallucinating again? Much like a drunk frat boy, this story didn’t reach a climax as much as it just stopped.

As for Freddy, he showed up to introduce each story. There was a cool moment where he emerged from the restaurant’s fry cooker. For the hospital scene, he put on scrubs. He didn’t actually interact with either Bryan or Karyn but he still took credit for their suffering. I think Freddy was just bragging on himself.

This episode was pretty uneven. For the most part, I’m just glad I don’t live in Springwood.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.13 “Down Time”

Posted on September 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch loses his car and Baker loses his wallet.

Episode 2.13 “Down Time”

(Dir by John Florea, aired on December 16th, 1978)

While chasing two female car thieves, Ponch crashes his motorcycle and sprains his finger. Getraer is overjoyed because he can now require Ponch to take a few days off work. Ponch is happy because he’s just moved into a new apartment and he wants to get to know his neighbor, Kim Balford (Randi Oakes).

Kim says she’s an aspiring actress but actually she’s the head of a ring of car thieves. In fact, by an amazing coincidence, they’re the same car thieves that Ponch was chasing when he injured himself! Kim sees that Ponch has a new car, a brown Firebird. Ponch really loves that car. Well, too bad! Kim and her associates steal his car.

To Getraer’s disappointment, Ponch is soon spending his entire vacation at headquarters, pressuring people like Detective Bill Ross (Burr DeBenning) to find his car. Detective Ross informs Ponch that he’ll probably never see his car again but Ponch is determined to get it back.

Baker, meanwhile, just want to find his wallet. His misplaced it and he has no idea where it is. Ponch is upset that Baker is more upset over losing all of his money and his ID than over Ponch losing his car. Baker, realizing that this is CHiPs and Ponch therefore always comes first, apologizes to Ponch and agrees to set aside his own problems to help Ponch out.

Fortunately, Ponch and Baker do figure out that Kim is the one behind the car thefts. It all leads to a chase through the streets of Los Angeles. Kim and her two partners-in-crime are in one of those big trucks that are used to transports cars from one place to another. (I can’t imagine driving one of those things.) Since they’re off duty, Baker and Ponch have to make due with Baker’s pickup truck. (Fortunately, Grossman shows up on a motorcycle so this episode doesn’t turn out like that weird season one episode where Baker and Ponch spent the entire episode in a patrol car.) Kim is caught but, of course, Ponch’s beloved firebird is destroyed in the chase.

Good news, though! Baker finds his wallet in his jacket. Yay! YOU GO, BAKER!

This episode was actually a lot of fun. Watching it, you could just hear people in 1978 saying, “They steal cars? …. But, they’re women!” Randi Oakes, who would later be a regular on the show as a member of the Highway Patrol, gives a wonderfully over-the-top performance as Kim. As well, anyone watching should be able to relate to Getraer’s annoyance as he discovers that there’s no way get Ponch to stay home. Best of all, with so much of the action taking place in Ponch’s swinging bachelor pad, this episode was pretty much a museum-quality exhibit of the late 70s. Watching this episode was like stepping into a time machine.

It was fun!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.11 “The Monster Part II)

Posted on May 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, the story of Julian and Scotty continues!

Episode 2.11 “The Monster Part II”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)

This week’s episode of Highway to Heaven begins where last week’s episode ended.

Julian (Jeff Kober) has been charged with attempting to murder Rachel McCullough (Annabella Price) and the whole town is ready to convict him because he has a birthmark on his face and a bratty kid named Ridley (Peter Billingsley) claims that he saw Julian push Rachel. Rachel, having hit her head, is in a coma and not expected to survive. Julian is pressured to accept a plea bargain but he protests that he’s innocent and that he loves Rachel. He would never had hurt her, no matter what the ignorant townspeople believe.

Only Jonathan and Scotty (James Troesch) believe that Julian is innocent. After Jonathan saves the depressed Scotty from drowning in his swimming pool, Scotty agrees to put off suicide so that he can defend Julian at his trial. Scotty does so from his motorized wheelchair and, as he explains to the jury, he knows what its like to be treated a certain way because you look different. With ease, Scotty demolishes Ridley’s testimony and puts the smug prosecutor in his place. All of the reporters in the courtroom are shocked when Julian is acquitted but the prosecution really didn’t have a case, beyond Julian having a birthmark on his face. Scotty gets back together with his wife (Margie Impert) and Rachel not only wakes up but she wakes up with her sight restored. Despite Julian’s fear, Rachel loves him even more when she can see his face.

Awwwwwww!

(Where is Mark during all this? He doesn’t show up until the final few minutes, probably because Victor French was busy directing this episode.)

Even if one sets aside that this episode is nearly 40 years old, it still feels old-fashioned. This is the type of courtroom drama where the trial watchers gasp at each piece of testimony. As far a courtroom procedurals go, this episode went more for melodrama than realism but that’s to expected with this show. It was heartfelt and earnest and Jeff Kober gave a touching performance as Julian.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode was the number of times Jonathan got mad at people. He got mad at Julian’s original lawyer. He got mad at Scotty for trying to drown himself. He called Scotty’s wife a “jerk” to her face. He gave the prosecutor a dirty look during the latter’s opening statement. He even got annoyed with Julian’s overly protective mother (Ann Doran). Jonathan may be an angel but this episode suggests that even angels lose their patience.

The TSL’s Grindhouse: The Incredible Melting Man (dir by William Sachs)

Posted on May 31, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What goes up must come down
What goes ’round must come ’round
What’s been lost must be found

As the song says, what goes up must go down. The 1977 film, The Incredible Melting Man, is about a man who went up and then came back down and …. AGCK! What a mess!

The Incredible Melting Man opens with the launch of the first manned spaceflight to Saturn. That’s right, Saturn. The film takes place in the 70s, when mankind was still lucky to just be able to make it to the Moon and back. But somehow, this rocket and its three passengers are going to fly all the way to Saturn, land, and then return to Earth. And speaking of landing, how exactly do you land on a planet that doesn’t have a solid surface? And, even more importantly, why do all of the shots of Saturn look like the sun? How come there aren’t any rings? WHAT IS GOING ON!? Could it be that the rocket went off track and went to the sun instead? It’s possible, I suppose. Mistakes cannot be avoided, much like a spinning wheel turning around.

Anyway, the rocket eventually returns from Saturn or the sun or wherever it went. Unfortunately, most of the crew is dead. The only survivor is Steve West (played by Alex Rebar). Apparently, West was so physically strong that he was able to survive whatever killed the other astronauts. Unfortunately, West was still infected with Saturn microbes and now he’s slowly melting. Steve doesn’t react well to that news so he escapes from the hospital and goes on a poorly-defined rampage. He kills a nurse. He rips the head off a fisherman. He kills two old people who were trying to steal oranges. Steve loses an eye. His arm falls off. He leaves behind a trail a radioactive goo. Apparently, Steve has to consume human flesh to slow down the melting process but make no mistake, there’s no way he’s not going to end a puddle of goo.

Steve’s friend, Dr. Ted Nelson (Burr DeBenning), decides to try to track down Steve so that he can get Steve to stop eating people and just melt away in peace. Ted can’t even tell the local authorities what he’s doing because that information is classified and Ted’s boss is like a total jerk. Ted does tell his wife, Judy (Anne Sweeny). Judy and Ted then get into an argument because Judy forgot to buy crackers the last time she went to the grocery store. Some may scoff that the lengthy and not very relevant cracker discussion was included just to pad this film’s running time but I think it adds a level of reality to the proceedings. People like crackers, even when they’re looking for a friend who is melting.

Anyway, The Incredible Melting Man is a weird little movie but I always kind of enjoy it. As played by Burr DeBenning, Dr. Ted Nelson is one of the least likable heroes to ever show up in a movie. He always seems to be annoyed about everything. Even when Steve West is killing people, Ted mostly just seems to be annoyed by the fact that he’s having to go outside to deal with it. Fortunately, Ted’s unlikability makes it fun to watch as absolutely nothing goes right for him over the course of the film. Ted is beyond surly and Steve is beyond melty. As bad as most of the dialogue and the acting may be, the melting man makeup is actually really effective and Alex Rebar does about as good a job as anyone cast as a melting man could. Let’s give this one two and a half star and wonder how many people in 1977 saw it on a double bill with Saturday Night Fever.

Horror on the Lens: The Incredible Melting Man (dir by William Sachs)

Posted on October 22, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror on the lens is a science fiction/horror film from 1977!

In The Incredible Melting Man, the first manned spaceflight to Saturn does not go well. Three astronauts went up but only one came down. And that one astronaut is both kinda crazy and melting! Seriously, it’s a big mess.

Apparently, one of the victims of the incredible melting man is played by director Jonathan Demme. See if you can spot him! It’ll be fun.

Enjoy!

Hanging By A Thread (1979, directed by Georg Fenady)

Posted on August 19, 2020 by Jedadiah Leland

A group of old friend who call themselves the Uptowners’ Club (yes, really) want to go on a picnic on top of a remote mountain. The only problem is that they have to ride a cable car up to the mountain and there are reports of potentially bad weather. It’s not safe to ride in a cable car during a thunderstorm. Drunken ne’er-do-well Alan (Bert Convy) doesn’t care and, since his family owns both the mountain and the tramway, his demands that he and his friends be allowed to ride the cable car are met. One lightning strike later and the members of the Uptowners’ Club are stranded in a cable car that is perilously suspended, by only a frayed wire, over treacherous mountain valley.

With no place to go, there’s not much left for the members of the Uptowners’ Club to do but bicker amongst themselves and have lengthy flashbacks that reveal every detail of their own sordid history. Paul (Sam Groom) is angry with Alan because Alan is now engaged to his ex-wife (Donna Mills). Sue Grainger (Patty Duke) is angry with everyone else because they don’t want to admit how their old friend Bobby Graham (Doug Llewellyn) actually died. The other members of the Uptowners’ Club are angry because there’s not much for them to do other than watch Duke and Convy chew on the scenery. Because of the supposedly fierce winds, someone is going to have to climb out on top of the cable car and repair it themselves. Will it be Paul or will it be cowardly drunk Alan? On top of everything else, Paul is set to enter the witness protection program and has got hitmen who want to kill him.

This made-for-TV disaster movie was produced by Irwin Allen. Are you surprised? It’s also three hours long and amazingly, Leslie Nielsen is not in it. It’s hard to understand how anyone could have produced a cable car disaster film and not given a role to Leslie Nielsen. Cameron Mitchell’s in the film but he’s not actually in the cable car so it’s a missed opportunity. Any film that features Patty Duke detailing how her friends got so drunk that they ended up killing the future host of The People’s Court is going to at least have some curiosity value but, for the most part, Hanging By A Thread gets bogged down by its own excessive runtime and lack of convincing effects. Hanging By A Thread came out at the tail end of the 70s disaster boom and it shows why the boom didn’t continue into the 80s.