For the record, I fully realize and understand that I have shared this trailer like a thousand times on this site. I make no apologies! I love this trailer and, even more importantly, I love this film! It’s perhaps the greatest Italian Star Wars rip-off of all time. Directed by Luigi Cozzi and starring Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff, Joe Spinell, Marjoe Gortner, and Christopher Plummer, Starcrash is a movie everyone must see! I was even Stella Starr for Halloween in 2014. Unfortunately, no one knew who I was (apparently, not everyone loves Italian exploitation films that I do) but I still got a lot of candy.
2. The Deadly Spawn (1983)
When a meteor crashes to Earth, it unleashes … well, watch the trailer. I’ve been meaning to review this movie for a while but somehow, I keep getting distracted by Lifetime. The Deadly Spawn is a lot of fun. It’s good nature more than makes up for its low budget.
3. Starship Invasions (1977)
This is the trailer for Starship Invasions, which Christopher Lee regularly described as being the worst film he ever made.
4. Contamination (1980)
This one was directed by Luigi Cozzi, who also directed Starcrash. It’s also known as Alien Contamination. Here’s my review!
5. Alien 2: On Earth (1980)
Oh my God! A previously unknown Alien sequel!? Not quite. This Italian sci-fi film may have been released as Alien 2 but it actually had nothing to do with the original Alien. That said, Alien 2 is still considerably better than Alien Covenant.
6. I Come In Peace (1990)
“…and you go in pieces!”
Hah! You tell him! I’ve never seen this film but I love that line.
See those green things in the picture above? You’re probably looking at them and you’re thinking to yourself, “Those are the biggest avocados that I’ve ever seen!”
Well, they’re not avocados.
No, instead they are green eggs from Mars. They may look harmless but if they start glowing, pulsating, and making an eerie womping noise, you might want to get away from them. When those eggs explodes, they spray out a green goo. Any living creatures that is so much as even splashed by this goo will then explode in a mass of blood and guts. It’s messy. I would not want to clean up after anyone is sprayed with green goo.
Those eggs are at the center of this week’s daily sci-fi grindhouse, the 1980 Italian film, Contamination. How much you enjoy Contamination will largely depend on how much you like old school Italian exploitation films in general. If you’re the type who rolls your eyes at bad dubbing and who demands that a film follow some sort of narrative logic, you are not the ideal audience for this movie. However, if you’re like me and you enjoy the pure shamelessness of Italian exploitation, you’ll probably have an easier time enjoying Contamination.
It won’t come as a surprise to any student of Italian or grindhouse cinema to learn that Contamination was ripped off from several films that were popular in the late 70s. The eggs are largely lifted from Alien and, whenever the goo-sprayed bodies explode, it’s reminiscent of that ugly little thing bursting out of John Hurt’s chest. The second half of the film feels like a secondhand James Bond film, complete with a sinister conspiracy, a mysterious mastermind who earlier faked his own death, and a femme fatale. The conspiracy is headquartered on a coffee plantation in South America. It’s not difficult to imagine Baron Samedi or some other villain from Live and Let Die showing up and laughing before throwing an exploding egg at someone.
Contamination opens with a seemingly deserted ship floating into New York harbor. Fans of Italian cinema will immediately think about the opening of Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2. Just as Zombi 2 opened with the New York City police investigating an abandoned boat and getting attacked by a zombie, Contamination features the New York City police investigating an abandoned boat and getting sprayed with green goo. The only cop who doesn’t explode, a tough New Yawker named Tony (Marino Mase), works with Col. Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau) to figure out why those eggs were on that boat.
Helping them out is an alcoholic former astronaut named Commander Ian Hubbard (Ian McCulloch). Somewhat appropriately, McCulloch was also in Zombi 2. (And let’s not forget about his role in Zomie Holocaust…) I once read an interview with McCulloch (in Jay Slater’s overview of Italian zombie cinema, Eaten Alive) in which he said that he didn’t feel he did a very good job in Contamination but I think he’s being too hard on himself. Is the very British and slightly uptight Ian McCulloch miscast as a cynical, alcoholic, American astronaut who can’t even walk to his front door without stumbling over discarded beer cans? Sure, he is. But he’s so miscast that it actually becomes rather fascinating to watch him in the role. He may be miscast but you can tell he’s really trying and he’s just so damn likable that you almost feel like it would be a disservice to him not to watch the film.
Anyway, Stella, Tony, and Hubbard have to discover out why the green eggs are on Earth and they eventually do figure out what’s going on. I’ve watched the film multiple times and I have to admit that I’m still not sure what they figured out. It’s a confusing movie and I doubt that there’s really any way that it could have ever made any sort of coherent sense but then again, that’s part of the film’s charm.
So, here’s what does work about Contamination. The exploding green eggs are both scary and wonderfully ludicrous. Ian McCulloch is a lot of fun as drunk Commander Hubbard. Goblin provides an excellent and propulsive score. And finally, there’s an alien monster who simply has to be seen to be believed. To his credit, director Luigi Cozzi realized that the monster looked cheap and he uses all sorts of creative editing and employed an arsenal of jump cuts to try to keep you from noticing. Much as with McCulloch’s performance, you can’t help but appreciate Cozzi’s effort.
As I said before, you’re enjoyment of Contamination will probably be determined by how much you enjoy Italian exploitation films in general. If you’re not familiar with the Italian grindhouse, Contamination is not the film to use for an introduction. However, if you are already a fan, you might appreciate Contamination.
Contamination is in the public domain and, as such, very easy to track down.
I will be the first to admit that I can occasionally be a little moody but tonight, as I sit here typing, I am in such a good, extremely hyper mood. Maybe it’s because I’m wearing my beloved black Pirates shirt. Or it could be because, for once, this house is neither too cold nor too warm. Then again, it could just be because it’s time for me to bring you another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers!
This is a trailer for a “double feature of horror,” featuring I Dismember Mama and The Blood-Splattered Bride. When I’ve spoken with other grindhouse movie fans on the web, this trailer is often cited as being a favorite. Personally, I think it goes along for about a minute too long but I can understand why it’s so popular. For one thing, it’s nothing like the trailers that are currently playing in theaters across America in that it’s a short film in itself. By the way, the trailer for Blood-Splattered bride sans I Dismember Mamma can be viewed here.
From the wonderful nation of Italy comes this example of the odd little grindhouse genre known as nunsploitation. I can probably count the number of good nunsploitation films on one hand. And yet when confronted with a film like this, I cannot look away. Maybe it’s because I was raised in the Catholic church. Or it could just be because the totally hot and lickable Joe Dallesandro is in so many of them. Along with Dallesandro, Killer Nun features Anita Ekberg of La Dolce Vita fame and Alida Valli of Third Man, Suspiria, and Inferno fame.
(Sidenote: Once when I was going to Catholic school, this really mean, fat girl was jealous of me because I was prettier than her so she whacked me in the face with a ruler so hard that it actually broke the skin right over my right eye and I had to get 3 stitches to close the cut and I’ve still got this little scar and sometimes, when I wink or seductively arch my right eyebrow, it still hurts a little. I hope somebody eventually went all Killer Nun on that girl…)
When I showed my sister Erin this trailer, she said, “You’re not going to jump up and start trying to do any of that stuff yourself, are you?” “Uhmmm…no,” I replied but, to be honest, I was totally about to do it. I don’t know much about Angela Mao but just, on the basis of this trailer, she’s my hero. This trailer is just infectious and, as I watched, I wondered, “How difficult can it be?” Well, apparently, it’s very difficult but that’s a story for a different time.
4) The Bullet Machine (1969)
“He can hack it!” Uhmmm….well, yes, okay then. At first, I thought I had actually found a trailer that was more violent than the trailer for Massacre Mafia Style but, upon careful reflection, I have to say that Massacre Mafia Style is still the king. The two hitmen in Massacre Mafia Style may not fire as many bullets but they still manage to kill everyone else in the trailer. Whereas The Bullet Machine is constantly shooting his gun but doesn’t really seem to accomplish much as a result. Plus, the mafia hitmen had style whereas the Bullet Machine just seems to be kind of a prick. If ever I have to prove the thesis that most men use guns as a substitute for their own limp penis, this trailer will be exhibit one.
I don’t know much about this film other than it’s obviously an Italian attempt to capitalize on the success of the original Alien and it is not — as I originally assumed — the same film as Luigi Cozzi’s Alien Contamination. One of the things that I love about Italian exploitation cinema is just the pure shamelessness of it all. I imagine there had to have been about a thousand remakes of Alien in the early 80s but only the Italians would have the balls to actually name a film Alien 2.
As for this trailer, it has its slow spots but seriously, stick with it for the final shot. And remember — you could be next!
(On the plus side, a young Michele Soavi is in this film. YAY!)
I’m in such a good mood right now that I’m just going to have to end this latest entry with a little Jean Rollin. Now, just in case anyone out there is unfamiliar with the unique cinematic vision of Jean Rollin, you should understand that this trailer is far more explicit than any of the other trailers featured in this post. In fact, I’m surprised that Youtube hasn’t taken it down yet. So, if you’re easily offended, I don’t know why you would be visiting this site in the first place. But anyways, if you’re easily offended, consider yourself warned.
As for Fascination, it’s actually one of the more accessible of Jean Rollin’s vampire films. The image — seen towards the end of this trailer — of Brigittie LaHaie with a scythe has become iconic.
This week, I’m highlighting trailers from the year 1981. 1981 not only saw the release of Lucio Fulci’s twin classics The Beyond and The House By The Cemetary, it was also the year that my sister Melissa was born. (Happy birthday, Melissa Anne!)
You may notice that, despite citing them above, I did not include the trailer for either one of Fulci’s films in this post. I’m saving them for a future edition. Instead, let’s start with Alien Contamination and end with Christiane F. and see what waits in the middle.
I haven’t seen this film but I’ve read several favorable reviews of it. While the trailer isn’t nearly as graphic as some of the other trailers that I’ve featured in this series, I still like it. With the ominous narrator and all, it has a nice retro feel to it.
I recently ordered this Italian film off of Amazon but I have yet to sit down and watch it. The trailer, for me, is memorable just because it’s a chance to see both Harvey Keitel and Johnny Rotten (who were both quite the sexy beast back in 1981) occupying the same space.
Some people, I know, would disagree with me referring to Christiane F. as being an exploitation film. I’m sure that the film’s award-winning director — Uli Edel — would disagree with me. However, Europe’s art films were often sold as America’s grindhouse movies and, just from anecdotal evidence, that was often the case with Christiane F. Besides, I love this trailer if just for the music alone.
Through the Shattered Lens 