I know camel spiders are gross, but there wasn’t a title card made for this short; so, I decided to add something scary for them. This short is only 1 minute- YAY.
A woman listens to a tape that ask them to thing about death. The voice has her do some light neck stretches and wham she sees a ghost. I suppose that this is scary.
There is a beginning, middle, and an end. Also, it is just a minute long. Is it better than the Progressive don’t turn into your parents ads? NO! However, it is better than…well…I had a crown put on recently; so, better than that FOR SURE!
I suppose this is becoming the October of AI. I wanted see if there was ANYTHING good being churned out. They are quite terrible usually. I think it’s fair to say that they are all bad, but some flirt with a D+. Mother is haunted house story. A pregnant mother decides to go exploring in her own home …. for some reason. It did not look like she just moved in; so, exploring your home is kinda nuts. So, she explores and hears children giggling and goes into a room that looks like a grenade exploded in it. She decides to touch a wall, which opens to a sewer tunnel and decides to go spelunking… as you do.
She’s going through the home sewer and find a ghost child and evil spirit. There was no reason at all for her to do the things she did. I supposed we assume she drunk on stupid juice and turned into a ghost hunter.
What positive things can I write? It was a film. It had a beginning, middle, and an end. There were scenes and the color yellow, which is maybe not positive, but I’m really trying. Also, the sewer was pretty clean, if you’re into that- this is the film for you!
Yes, this is their online poster. Yes, there is no title. Yes, the robot apocalypse will be boring. I don’t know what jobs AI is going to take away, but it will definitely bore us more quickly. Do we really need to make the Alex Magana’s of the world make more film gonorrhea? What would the penicillin be for an Alex Magana film?
However, Alex Magana did not make this steaming pile of jelly garbage, it was Dark Dabs Horror. The world gets attacked by an extraterrestrial jellyfish that covers the earth in goo and kills everything. Why? Who knows? Is it gross? Not really. Nobody dissolves; instead, they all look like they took a swim in jell-o. I wouldn’t call it horror as much as I would call it unintentionally kinda fun in a very sad way. The future is boring.
This short film was not on IMDB; so, I used a graph from my amazing post on Alien Earth. Wasn’t that a great review? The math was perfect! This another AI short film, but you have to dig around to determine that a robot made it. I gotta say, it looks good. Maybe this will be how films are going to be made from now on?
A pale lady is walking down a hallway and then the wall starts bleeding…. motor oil? Maybe, they’ll ask me to drill a well there? I WOULD! The motor oil starts rippling and the pale lady is about to put her hand in it… for some reason. Then, a hand reaches from the motor oil puddle. She runs to an …. apartment? I can’t tell what is going on. Without any lead up, a monster appears out of nowhere and nothing happens.
This is NOT good. I have no idea what is going on and I don’t care. Maybe AI will takeover, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to have a story. You will still need a story or your short will be terrible. What else can I say about this short?
Can AI be used to make an entertaining horror short? We have a parking garage security guard searching the property because he hears a noise. He finds his coworker slain. A zombie starts rewiring the fuse box and turns off the lights in the garage. The zombie is smart He encounters the zombie and starts shooting and shooting, killing more and more zombies to heavy metal and that is the whole film. I enjoyed it. So, AI can make a fun horror short and actors will become a thing of the past. If you have 2.6 minutes to spare, check it out.
The short is a fun watch. Adult children go home to split inheritance and the middle-child goes bonkers starts killing everyone.
The film is not listed on imdb, but I will provide a link.
The middle child daughter is arguing with her older brother who wants his new wife to get a share of the inheritance. However, this really doesn’t happen because you have to follow the will and unless the brother’s wife were listed to inherit, she’s not getting anything. However, the movie has to happen; so, let’s ignore that.
There is a beginning, middle, and an end. The film has a strong pacific northwest vibe. It is over the top and fun because of it. If you can get past the legal fiction related to the inheritance and I am assuming that you likely don’t care, this short will thoroughly entertain.
I can’t believe that Horrorthon is half over! I’m having A LOT of fun this year with it. “Finley” has been on my “To Review” list for a long time, but I was apprehensive because it was 25 minutes long, which made me wonder if it really was a short film? Is a failed feature? I think it could’ve been a feature length film…. maybe. The premise doesn’t fully lend itself to a feature length horror comedy. However, there could’ve been a pretty funny montage of Finley training….. I will explain.
Three friends Jennifer, Alexandra, and Chris rent or buy a house together in the exurbs. Chris and Jennifer are a typical post-college couple sort of grown up and Alexandra is the sensible brunette. They venture up to the attic and find a coffin with the eponymous Finley chained and gagged. At night, Finley begins stalking them, but he’s terrible at his job. Is Finley a psychopathic possessed doll? Yes. Does he have an affection for Chris’ tuxedo cat? Yes. Can Finley kill…he tries, but he sucks at it….repeatedly. He tries to electrocute Jennifer by throwing a toaster into her bath, but he forgets to plug it in. Finley tries and tries to kill, but only succeeds in annoying them to the point that they spray him with a water bottle like he’s a destructive house cat.
We enter a mini-third act with two would-be rapist home invader/cat killers breaking into their home and tying up Jennifer, Alexandra, and Chris. When the home invaders try to hurt the cat, Finley snaps and goes full – successful – psycho! Of course, Finley’s new found murder skill has mixed results for Jennifer, Alexandra, and Chris.
I highly recommend this short. However, this is bittersweet because as good as the short was, the cast, writer, and director did not take off in a huge way. It really bothers me when there are really talented people who don’t get the traction they deserved. I hope that they reunite and something big happens for all of them.
Once again, I have been thwarted from putting a title card from IMDB in my post. In this case, I think they are kind of shy. I was not even able to provide a link. It’s called The Killer and it was created by OTP_tv.
The premise is what if a killer really needs to go to the bathroom after the murder? Funny things happen – that’s what! I would almost describe this short as pure comedy, until the end. I was the first person to watch the short because it dropped today and I coincidentally was around at the time. The short is simple and does not try to be too many things, but it does achieve humor and that’s a good thing.
The short begins with a couple bantering about wine and poo….as you do. Then, it appears the wife is bothered by the joke. The husband is stabbed in the bathroom and hilarity ensues. This is a fun short and does not take itself too seriously. If you have 3 or 4 minutes to spare, let it be The Killer.
I reached out to the creators on YouTube and if they get back to me, I will update the review with additional details.
I was unable to find anything on IMDB for this film; so, I used this photo from a previous review where it looked like they were going for a Santa Pedo vibe. Read that review below:
Unidentified is about an ordinary guy who sees an alien invasion. This concept is so overdone that it is really its own subgenre of suckiness. Some random schmoe sees aliens and is unable to do anything about it accept die?! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, why you are bothering me this garbage? Who cares?!
Hear me, it’s one thing if the ordinary person is heroic or we are setting up the story or he causes a resolution, but when it’s just some doofus driving around for 60% of the short, you are wasting my time! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, I understand that creating a story is hard like how you must be always confused when you try to get the mail or turn on your phone, but that doesn’t mean you should pursue the art of film. Instead of making these terrible shorts that lack even a basic story let alone an ending, how about working on a simplistic craft? I’ll even consider putting it on my fridge! Really, my fridge has some prime real estate on it: magnets, shopping list sticky notes, and stains if it’s my housecleaning day.
If this terrible film did pique your interest…..somehow, the story is a British man in a sedan who drives for several minutes and sees a big monster- yep, that’s it. UGHHH. Maybe Alex Magana has a British cousin?
What film would Alex Magana make if he were a robot? This is a question that no one wanted answered, but Elevate Studios said, TOUGH, you are gettin it! And get it we did!
Many worry that AI will take over the world and our jobs; well, I’m here to tell you that you are 50% correct! AI will likely take your job, but not the world because it’ll just be too busy making boring/terrible short films. Hey Robots, look I get that you feel like you got a full head of steam here, but why make terrible movies? We have people for that and those are jobs that are too good for you. This short is about a priest called into perform and exorcism and he proceeds to punch the possessed woman and the demon leaves her. Yes, that was the whole film. I feel less now that I have seen this.
I put together a short myself using AI to show what it will be like when AI displaces humans:
Will the Robot unalive us all? I don’t know, but they will sure try to bore us to death!
Through the Shattered Lens 