Category Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.20 “Tow Truck Lady”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Larry Wilcox sits in the director’s chair for this week’s episode!

Episode 3.20 “Tow Truck Lady”

(Dir by Larry Wilcox, originally aired on February 9th, 1980)

Danny (Chris Robinson) is a tow truck driver who is short on cash, in debt to a loan shark, and being forced to pay off his debt by stealing cars for the mob.  Danny happens to be friends with Ponch and Jon.  Ponch and Jon take it upon themselves to look after Danny’s daughter, Marla (Tonya Crowe), while Danny is out working.  Of course, Danny is actually committing crimes during that time.

This was one of those episodes where a guest character, whom we’ve never seen before, suddenly becomes the main character and it throws off the entire episode.  The majority of the episode is Danny arguing with the loan shark and Marla acting precocious.  Jon and Ponch weren’t really that involved, until the big chase at the end of the episode.  I guess it makes sense.  Larry Wilcox was busy directing and I imagine Wilcox was probably more than happy to have a chance to point the camera at someone other than at Erik Estrada.  From what I’ve read, the two co-stars may have played best friends but they couldn’t stand each other in real life.  Wilcox apparently felt that the producers always sided with Estrada and it is impossible to deny that the show, which began with Baker and Ponch evenly matched, had become the Ponch Show by the time the third season rolled around.

(I should note that this episode does feature a pretty exciting highway smash-up, featuring cars flying through the air in slow motion.  I always love that slo mo of doom!)

In the end, Danny does the right thing and turns on the loan shark.  The loan shark is arrested.  So is Danny.  Baker says that he’ll arrange for Marla to live with his friend, Ellen (Liberty Godshall), until Danny gets out of prison.  It’s entirely probable that Marla is going to be traumatized for the rest of her life but Ponch and Baker still share a good laugh at the end of the episode.  Being a member of the Highway Patrol is fun!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.4 “The Big Thaw”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

I don’t even know how to describe this episode.

Episode 4.4 “The Big Thaw”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on October 23rd, 1987)

The Vice Squad raids a decrepit building, expecting to find drugs.  Instead, they find a container that holds the frozen body of a dead reggae singer.  Robillard Nevin died after eating a poisoned fish but his body was frozen so it could be thawed out once a cure had been found.  Several different groups of people — including Nevin’s widow and, for some reason, Izzy — all want the body.

Wait …. what?

This is a Miami Vice episode?  Miami Vice, as you may remember, is supposed to be a stylish and cynical show about two detective fighting a losing war against the Miami drug underworld.  Miami Vice is the show that often ends with Crockett and Tubbs looking on in anger as they realize that all of their efforts have been for nothing.  This is the show that often ends with a sympathetic character either getting shot or shooting someone else.  This is the show in which there are no happy endings and every episode — at least in the past — seemed to conclude at the cost of Sonny Crockett’s soul ….

Well, you get my point.

What the Hell is this?

The fourth season of Miami Vice is off to an uneven start.  That’s not a surprise.  After four seasons, not every episode is going to be a winner.  It happens to the best of shows.  But, seriously, how did we go from Crockett and Tubbs driving in the middle of the night while Phil Collins sings In The Air Tonight to Crockett and Tubbs trying to protect a cryogenically frozen corpse?  I guess the show was trying to keep things fresh by trying something new but this episode was just too ridiculous to work.  Not even Tubbs bringing out his fake Caribbean accent could save this episode.

By the way, cryogenics and all that …. it doesn’t work!  It’s waste of money!  But, hey, whatever.  Do what you want.  It’s your life.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 2.4 “A Tangled Web”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi

This week, everyone’s lying.

Episode 2.4 “A Tangled Web”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on November 26th, 1990)

We’ve got three plots going on in this episode.  Let’s start with the one that no one cares about.

Alex, who may appear in the opening credits (he’s wearing glasses and smiling) but who hasn’t really made much of an impression as a character in the 5 years that he’s been a Degrassi regular, has a crush on Tessa.  Tessa has a crush on Joey.  Arthur — hey!  Arthur’s still on the show! — decides to help out by leaving notes in both Tessa and Alex’s lockers.  Tessa and Alex meet up after school, each expecting to find someone else.  Tessa seems kind of annoyed but Alex swears to Arthur that they actually had a good time talking.

Let’s move on to the plot that only director Kevin Smith, famous for his teen crush on Caitlin, would care about.  Caitlin finally confronts her father about his cheating.  She also tells her mother.  Caitlin’s mom is like, “We’re trying to work through it, mind your own business for once!”  As usual, Caitlin is stunned to discover that life is complex and I’m sure her friends will have to listen to her complain about it for the next few weeks.

Meanwhile, Wheels is being a little brat again, refusing to study and lying to his grandmother about his grades.  She finally grounds Wheels but Wheels sneaks out anyway so that he can go to the Gourmet Scum concert with Joey and Snake.  Uh-oh …. the car that the three of them bought breaks down!  Wheels says that this is all Joey’s fault.  They’ve missed the concert and now, Wheels is going to be in a huge amount of trouble when he returns home.  And Wheels is right about that!  In fact, his grandmother kicks him out of the house!

There was a lot of drama in this episode but it all felt a little bit familiar.  We went through a whole storyline about Wheels acting like a jerk during Degrassi Junior High.  It’s hard not to feel like the show is repeating itself here.  And seriously, when did Wheels become such a jerk?  In this episode, he does apologize to Joey but then, he asks if he can stay with Joey and his family.  Uhmm …. gee, Wheels, didn’t you get caught stealing a bunch off money the last time you stayed at Joey’s house?  Interestingly enough, the episode doesn’t make clear where Wheels stayed after his grandmother kicked him out.  I mean, where is Wheels going to live?  Since Wheels is actually an orphan, shouldn’t grandma have called the Canadian version of Child Protective Services to come pick him up?  The whole thing just seems odd!

Now, of course, if you know your Degrassi history, you know what’s going to happen to the characters in this episode.  Tessa is going end up sleeping with Joey, having an abortion, and leaving town.  Wheels is going to end up in prison after driving drunk and killing a kid.  Joey and Caitlin will eventually fall in love again but it won’t work out and grown-up, middle-aged Caitlin will end up sleeping with a college student.  And Snake will become the principal of Degrassi.  As for Arthur, he’s going to start a computer software company with Yick Yu. And Alex …. well, no one really cares.

Next week, life goes on.

 

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 3.11 “Cradle to Grave”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, secrets are uncovered and trust is betrayed.

Episode 3.11 “Cradle to Grave”

(Dir by Myles Connell, originally aired on January 13th, 1995)

Police Commissioner James Harris (Al Freeman, Jr.) gives Pembleton a special assignment.  A congressman (Dick Stillwell) claims to have been temporarily abducted by a man in a van but he also says that he doesn’t want to press charges.  Both Harris and Pembleton suspect that the Congressman is lying and that he filed a false police report, which is itself a crime.  Pembleton’s investigation leads to the discovery that the abduction story was actually the congressman’s attempt to cover-up a quarrel between him and his lover (Christopher Glenn Wilson).  Pembleton goes to the congressman and offers to drop the investigation into the abduction so that the congressman’s personal life will not be exposed.  The congressman agrees.

Unfortunately, news of the false police report still gets out and Pembleton is sold out by Harris, who claims that he never gave Pembleton permission to drop the investigation, even though Harris made it clear that he wanted the problem to go away.  Outraged over being sold out by his boss and also by Giardello’s refusal to back him up (Giardello is upset that Pembleton lied to him about the investigation), Pembleton turns in his badge and quits the force.

Meanwhile, Lewis and Much investigate the murder of a biker.  What they discover is that the biker sacrificed his own life after it was discovered that his wife was an FBI informant.  In order to keep the gang from going after his daughter, the victim agreed to be killed in retribution.

And finally, Felton and Howard try to investigate a murder but …. where’s the body!?  It turns out that the body is on the move.  First, it’s accidentally sent to the hospital before Felton and Howard can get a look at it.  Then, it’s returned to the crime scene while Felton and Howard are heading to the morgue.  Apparently, this was based on a true story and I can believe it.  There’s no incompetence like bureaucratic incompetence.

This was not a bad episode.  Andre Braugher did a great job of capturing Pembleton’s pain at being betrayed by his mentor, Commission Harris.  Even the biker stuff was well-handled, with Timothy Wheeler giving a strong performance as the club’s “warlord.”  The biker stuff had an interesting subplot, with one of the bikers revealing himself to be an undercover FBI agent trying to make a RICO case.  As with the case involving the congressman, it helped to create a definite atmosphere of mistrust that ran through the entire episode.  Whether it was the FBI or the congressman or just the EMTs, no one could be trusted and no one knew what they were doing.

It’s a good episode.  I hope Pembleton reconsiders quitting.  The city needs him.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.16 “My Hero, Mr. Bannister”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week features some adorable kittens!

Episode 3.16 “My Hero, Mr. Bannister”

(Dir by Jayne Schipper, originally aired on January 3rd, 1988)

Stockboy Derek (Andrew Miller) admires Howard and decides that, in order to be like his idol, he’s going to drop out of high school and devote himself to becoming manager of a grocery store.  Howard has to show Derek has stupid that would be.  Fortunately, Derek comes to his senses by the end of the episode.  No one wants to grow up to be Howard.

This was a weird episode, largely because everyone acted as if Derek was a regular member of the cast despite the fact that this was only his second appearance on the show.  (He appeared earlier in the season, in yet another episode that was devoted to his character.)  One of the oddest things about this season is that it keeps introducing characters who seem like they’re going to be regulars — Howard’s brother, the executive from the company that bought Cobb’s — but who then never show up again.  Or in Derek’s case, they showed up on more time.  Seen today, all of these episodes feel like backdoor pilots for shows that were never actually put into production.  That doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily bad episodes, of course.  While Derek’s storyline was a bit forgettable, the third season has still been a marked improvement over the first two.

This episode featured a B-plot about an adorable cat named Marvin who decided to live in the store with “Mrs. Marvin.”  They had kittens!  And the kittens were adorable.  I’m a cat person so I enjoyed that.  Otherwise, this episode was fairly forgettable.

Retro Television Review: 3 By Cheever 1.3 “The Five Forty-Eight”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing 3 By Cheever, which ran on PBS in 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube.

This week, we finish up 3 By Cheever with an adaption of one of his best-known short stories.

Episode 1.3 “The Five Forty-Eight”

(Dir by James Ivory, originally aired on James Ivory)

Laurence Luckinbill stars as Blake, a business executive who rides the train into the city for work and then back to the suburbs when it’s time to return to his perfect home.  One day, as Blake heads to his train, he comes to be aware that he’s being followed by his former secretary, Miss Dent (Mary Beth Hurt).  Blake is concerned because Miss Dent made quite a scene when she was fired from her job a little while ago.  Of course, a part of the reason why she was so upset was because Blake had earlier seduced her, something that he has a habit of doing when it comes to his secretaries.  On the train, surrounded by neighbors (including one that Blake can’t stand because of his long hair), Blake finds himself sitting next to Miss Dent.  She explains that she has a gun in her purse.  As the train heads for its destination, Blake’s confident facade crumbles and he is soon as humiliated by his former secretary as she was by him.  And yet, this being a Cheever story, one wonders if Blake is even capable of realizing why any of this is happening to him.

The final episode of 3 By Cheever was an adaptation of one of John Cheever’s best short stories.  As directed by James Ivory, this adaptation can feel a bit overdrawn.  The short story, for instance, opens with Blake on an elevator, already preparing to head home on the train.  Ivory’s adaptation opens with Blake at the start of his day and we see a lot of things — like Blake’s antagonistic relationship with his long-haired neighbor — that Cheever simply mentioned.  It takes a while for Miss Dent to finally sit down next to Blake and Ivory doesn’t do much to build up any sort of suspense while we’re waiting.

On the plus side, the film reveals Ivory’s skill when it comes to working with actors as both Luckinbill and Mary Beth Hurt give excellent performances.  Luckinbill goes from being oily and overconfident to being a neurotic mess by the end of the show while Hurt does the opposite, going from being meek to commanding.  Both the original short story and Ivory’s adaptation succeed in making you wonder what the future could possibly hold for either one of the two characters.  They both seem to reach a point of no return and it’s hard to imagine Blake going back to his suburban home and his train rides and his motel hook-ups but, then again, this is a Cheever story so the implication is that he does just that, untouched by the fact that he nearly lost his life due to his own behavior.  As for Miss Dent, she reclaims her self-respect by going to an extreme.

This was the last episode of 3 By Cheever.  This was an interesting series of adaptations, even if Cheever’s prose does seem to work best on the page than literally translated to film.  Next week, a new series will being in this spot.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 3.12 “Epitaph For A Lonely Heart”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, it’s just Jack and Micki!

Episode 3.12 “Epitaph For A Lonely Heart”

(Dir by Allan Kroeker, originally aired on January 22nd, 1990)

Eli Leonard (Neil Munro) is a mortician who uses a cursed embalming needle to bring the dead back to life.  Of course, he has to kill someone for the needle to work.  Eli has fallen in love with the corpse of a young woman and …. EEK!

The dead woman’s fiancé is Steve Wells (Barclay Hope), a friend of Micki’s who let’s her know that he thinks something strange is happening at the funeral home before he himself is killed by Eli.  Micki and Jack investigate!  It all ends with a big and convenient fire, which not only kills Eli but also the two women who he has recently brought back to life.

Johnny Ventura was not in this episode and, as much as I’ve complained about the character, he actually is missed.  Having Micki just working solely with Jack threw off the show’s balance a little.  Jack is so much older than Micki that, in this episode, it felt as if Micki was Jack’s apprentice as opposed to being an equal partner in the search for the cursed items.  As a character, Micki works best when she has an impulsive guy like Ryan or Johnny to play off of.  Both she and Jack tend be cautious so this episode just felt a bit off.

(That said, there was an enjoyable scene of Jack and Micki having to host a gathering of all the other local antique dealers, none of whom knew that Jack and Micki spend all of their time fighting the Devil.)

The mortician was one of the least sympathetic villains that this show has ever featured.  He was lonely but he also an obsessive creeper with no people skills.  Friday the 13th has often featured villains who were tragically misguided or seduced by the cursed antique.  The mortician was just a creep.  Neil Munro did a good job playing him, making him into a villain who you couldn’t wait to see meet his fate.

In the end, though, this episode just felt off.  I guess this show really does need Johnny screwing up and accidentally giving away the cursed antiques.  Who would have guessed?

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.21 “Baron von Munchausen”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week’s episode is a much better Dr. Craig episode than last week’s.

Episode 1.21 “Baron von Munchausen”

(Dir by Victor Hsu, originally aired on April 19th, 1983)

Anthony Rizzo (Louis Giambalvo) seems like a nice guy.  He’s admitted to the hospital with complaints of stomach pain and a high fever.  Dr. Morrison can’t find anything wrong with him but he does notice that Rizzo has a lot of scars.  Rizzo explains that he’s had a lot of surgeries over the course of his life and he’s got a story to go with each one of them.  Morrison brings in Ehrlich for a consult.  Ehrlich, who loves to perform surgery, suggests opening Rizzo up and doing an exploratory.  Morrison thinks it’s too early for that,  Rizzo, however, loves the idea.  Rizzo then proceeds to die on the operating table.

Ehrlich is shaken.  Morrison is angry.  However, Westphall and Craig take one look at the case and deduce that Rizzo suffered from Munchausen’s Syndrome.  For whatever reason, he was addicted to going to the hospital and having surgery.  He knew all the tricks, from using a light blub to make it look like he had a fever to pricking his finger with a needle to convince the doctors that there was blood in his urine.  It turns out that he died because of the drugs that he had been taking to help him fake his symptoms.  Both Morrison and Ehrlich are relieved to learn that Rizzo’s death was not their fault.

“So, Ehrlich lost his first patient today,” Craig says to Westphall.  “It won’t be his last.”

This was a good episode for Dr. Craig, especially after all that nonsense last week.  When Westphall finds himself in need of a doctor to speak to a group of inner city medical students, he is horrified to discover that Mark Craig is the only one available.  Craig accepts, saying that Westphall should have asked him earlier.

Westphall’s concerns are justified.  Dr. Craig is opinionated, wealthy, and more than a little prejudiced against …. well, everyone.  “My ancestors came here on the Mayflower!” Craig is quick to say.  And yet, the students love him, specifically because he doesn’t pretend to be anything that he isn’t.  Unlike Westphall, who tries give an inspiring pep talk, Craig is open about the reality of practicing medicine in what this episode refers to as being “the ghetto.”  When asked if his medical student son will be working in a ghetto clinic, Craig replies, “Why would he?”  Craig gets a standing ovation from the students, which felt like a bit much but whatever.  It was nice, for once, to see the show admitting that Craig’s blunt honesty can sometimes be more effective than Westphall’s noncommittal style of encouragement.

Afterwards, in a wonderfully acted scene, Craig asked Westphall why people don’t seem to like him,  Westphall shrugs and then says that Craig can be arrogant, rude, prejudiced, intolerant of other worldviews …. “Thank you, Donald,” Craig cuts him off.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, a crazy woman (Micole Mercurio) is sent to the psych ward after threatening to kill Nurse Daniels.  (No, leave Shirley alone!)  Dr. Wendy Armstrong, who is one of the worst characters on this show, promptly discharges the woman and lets her leave the hospital.  “She threatened to kill me!” Shirley says while Wendy shrugs, unconcerned.  Fiscus also proves to be of no help, as he is once again feeling attracted to Kathy Martin.

Finally, Dr. White goes to a drug addict support group and walks out when things get too emotional.  Booo!  Dr. White is even worse than Dr, Armstrong!

This was a good episode.  Next week, the season finale!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.22 “A Father’s Faith”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week brings us a touching episode.

Episode 3.22 “A Father’s Faith”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on March 4th, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark visit an old friend of Mark’s, a fisherman named Gene Malloy (Eli Wallach).  The Malloy family has been struggling ever since Gene’s son slipped into a coma after risking his life to save Gene’s daughter, Michele (Katherine Wallach), from drowning.  Gene neglects his business and his family to spend all of his time visiting his comatose son.  Gene’s wife (Anne Jackson) is feeling neglected and, because she blames herself for the accident, Michele has never visited her brother.  Everyone tells Gene that his son is never going to wake up but Gene has faith.

This was a simple but effective episode, one that worked largely because of the cast.  Eli Wallach and Anne Jackson were married in real life and Katherine Wallach was their daughter.  Watching this family drama being played out by a real family made it all the more touching.  In the end, Gene’s faith is rewarded.  It’s a little bit implausible but it doesn’t matter.  I still teared up a little.  For that matter, so did Michael Landon and Victor French and I’m pretty sure those tears were real.  Eli Wallach really poured his emotions into his performance as Gene.  This was a very heart-felt episode where the sincerity of the emotions carried the viewer over any rough spots in the narrative.

As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that, if it was made today, the story would probably be used to promote assisted suicide or euthanasia.  For whatever reason, there’s a lot of people who have really fallen in love with the idea of killing people who are sick or disabled.  Personally, I prefer this episode’s approach.  Sometimes, good things do happen.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.17 “Leavings”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters makes even less sense than usual.

Episode 3.17 “Leavings”

(Dir by John Tillinger, originally aired on January 20th, 19991)

Two cops (played by Tony Shalhoub and John Christopher Jones) are concerned about something that they’ve noticed on the streets.  Homeless people who are missing limbs are showing up.  The cops know that the homeless people had all their limbs just a few days ago but now, they’re gone.  There’s no sign of surgery or any sort of trauma.  The limbs are just disappearing apparently.  Meanwhile, there’s some new homeless guy wandering around who appears to be made out of limbs that don’t really seem to go together.

They go to their boss (Clifton James) with this concerns.  Their boss tells them not to worry about it.  However, the cops continue to worry about it.  This leads to their boss revealing the truth of what’s happening.  It turns out that their boss has been stealing body parts and building new people for years.  He’s trying to create a policeman who will be loyal and who won’t ask questions.  (We only see one of these constructed cops in the show.  He wears a jacket that identifies him as being Officer S. Partz.)  The boss then kills the two cops because they’ve seen too much.

This was a weird episode.  How exactly did their boss learn how to remove body parts without leaving any sort of obvious signs of trauma?  How did he learn how to bring his constructed people to life?  How did …. well, it just doesn’t make any sense.  It’s true that a 30-minuet anthology show doesn’t necessarily have to make perfect sense but this episode really does stretch things a bit too far.  The three actors all give good performances but, otherwise, this episode just falls a bit flat.