Category Archives: TV

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.9 “Trouble My Lovely/The Common Man”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 1.9 “Trouble, My Lovely/The Common Man”

(Directed by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 1st, 1978)

This week’s episode of Fantasy Island opens, as most of them do, with Mr. Roarke sharing a few words with Tattoo before they leave to meet the plane.  This week, Roarke is surprised to find that Tattoo wearing a turban.  Tattoo has decided that there is money to be made in being a phony mind reader.

Roarke shakes his head dismissively and then it’s off to meet the latest visitors to Fantasy Island.  Unfortunately, the fantasies that follow are so boring that you’ll find yourself wishing that Roarke had spent more time talking to Tattoo.

Don Knotts plays a Stanley Schecktler, a claims adjustor who dreams of being a hard-boiled private investigator.  He gets his wish and soon finds himself in a noirish version of Los Angeles.  Stanley is hired by Ivy Chandler (Lynda Day George) to investigate the man who is blackmailing her daughter, Peggy (Pamela Jean Bryant).  Like all good detectives, Stanley narrates the story.

Eventually, Stanley finds himself investigating an actual murder!  Mr. Roarke and Tattoo shows up to inform Stanley that his fantasy is potentially deadly.  They offer to refund his money.  (Tattoo says that he rarely ever refunds money so I guess Tattoo is the Island’s business manager.  I know that’s been mentioned in a few previous episodes but I still find it hard to believe, considering how little respect Roarke seems to have for Tattoo.)  Stanley, however, is determined to solve the murder.  This leads to Tattoo, who has switched his turban for a fedora, giving Stanley one important piece of advice:

This fantasy had potential.  What film lover hasn’t fantasized about being a character in a film noir?  Unfortunately, the execution was lacking, with the majority of the comedic lines falling flat.  Don Knotts has a few funny moments as the detective but the story itself never finds the right balance between comedy and noir.

That said, at least there was an unexpected twist to the detective fantasy.  The show’s other fantasy was not only lame but also kind of annoying.  Bernie Kopell, who was so likable as Doc Bricker on The Love Boat, is far less likable as a wimpy family man who comes to Fantasy Island with one request.  He wants Mr. Roarke to be a terrible host so that he can stand up to him and win the respect of his family.  Seriously, that’s the entire fantasy!

Sorry, dude, but you deserve to get treated like a schmo for having pay thousands of dollar just to get your family to look up to you.  This guy spent a lot of money to have a fantasy on Fantasy Island that he could get for free just by taking his family out to Denny’s and demanding to see the manager.  Seriously, this whole fantasy was a bit pointless but at least Tattoo got to try out his mind reading tricks when he and Mr. Roarke came across the Kopell sitting at the bar.

Oh well!  Not every fantasy can be a winner.  Hopefully, next week will be better.

An Election Day Blast From The Past: Jerry Springer Isn’t Afraid Of The Truth

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we have a special election day blast from the past!

In 1982 (and not 1980, regardless of what the title of the YouTube video says), former Cincinnati Mayor Jerry Springer entered the race for governor of Ohio.  He was one of three major candidates to enter the Democrat primary.  During the campaign, Springer cut this memorable commercial in which he let voters know that, a few years earlier, he “spent some time with a woman (he) shouldn’t have” and that he “paid her with a check.”

Despite Jerry’s claim that “the nomination is finally within grasp,” he came in a distant third.  Of course, if Springer had won that election, America would never have had the Jerry Springer Show or any of the shows, like Maury, that followed its example.  So, Ohio, it’s all on you.  Elections have consequences.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 2.5 “War of the Roses” and 2.6 “Short Cuts”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

The season continues!

Episode 2.5 “War of the Roses” 

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on October 5th, 1996)

Mary Beth (Megan Parlen) proves once again that she is the coolest girl at Deering High by painting the boy’s locker room pink without asking them.  Vince (Michael Sullivan) freaks out about the pink (actually, it’s salmon) and leaves Mary Beth an angry note.  Mary Beth gets angry about the note and hires a muscle-bound dude to threaten Vince in front of his friends.  Vince tries to get Mary Beth to eat a poisoned chili dog.  Eventually, Mary Beth somehow changes Vince’s grades to make it appear the Vince is ineligible to play basketball while Vince STEALS COACH FULLER’S WALLET and tries to frame Mary Beth.

Like, seriously, what the Hell?

It all leads to a really weird scene in which a mock trial is held to determine whether or not Mary Beth and Vince should be barred from being involved in basketball.  Finally, Mary Beth acknowledges that she shouldn’t have repainted the locker room without talking to anyone (how exactly did Mary Beth repaint the locker room without anyone noticing?) and Vince admits that his note was rude.  Everything works out.

Meanwhile, in the B-plot, Julie again proves herself to be the world’s worst girlfriend by getting angry at Josh for trying to throw her a surprise birthday party.  This whole Julie/Josh subplot felt like it belonged in a first season episode but it did lead to Mary Beth smashing a birthday cake in Julie’s face, which was kind of satisfying considering how whiny Julie was in this episode.  (“This is why I hate surprise parties!” Julie yells.)

This was …. well, look, it was pretty dumb.  But Megan Parlen was a good enough comedic actress to save her storyline.  And personally, I’m on her side as far as the locker room is concerned.  That shade of pink really was pretty.

Episode 2.6 “Short Cuts”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on October 12th, 1996)

Wow, Vince sure is a screw-up.  He spent the previous episode trying to destroy Mary Beth’s life.  This episode, he starts taking steroids.  Of course, this leads to him getting acne and roid rages but it also helps him win a few basketball games so …. well, let’s just say that everyone is quick to jump on Vince’s back for taking drugs but no one suggests giving back any of their victories.

Vince is using drugs because he wants to attend a basketball clinic with Coach Fuller and a short basketball player named Muggsy.  (I went on Wikipedia and discovered that Muggsy actually was a real basketball player, even though he was shorter than me!  That’s kind of neat!)  At the start of the show, Fuller announces that only Julie and Josh qualify for the clinic because, in the world of Hang Time, Julie and whoever she’s dating at the time are the only people who can actually play well.  Once Vince starts taking the steroids and having rages, he qualifies for the clinic but he is just as quickly disqualified because of his drug use.  Fortunately, Muggsy is there to tell him to stop being a whiny baby and to stay off the pills.

In the B-plot, Danny directs a really crappy sci-fi film.  Unfortunately, he also accidentally films Vince with his dealer so Vince destroys the tape.  Damn, Vince!

This episode was a reworking of the episode of California Dreams in which Tiffani got hooked on steroids and the episode of Saved By The Bell where Zach needed to raise money to replace the school’s video camera.  It was predictable but the cast did a fairly good job.  If nothing else, this episode showed that Reggie Theus improved quite a bit as an actor between seasons 1 and 2.  And he didn’t need steroids to do it!  Let that be a lesson to all.

Retro Television Reviews: The Seduction of Gina (dir by Jerrold Freedman)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1984’s The Seduction of Gina.  It  can be viewed on Tubi!

Gina (played by Valerie Bertinelli) is bored.

She’s a 20 year-old newlywed who spends her days going to college and her nights sitting in a tiny apartment and waiting for her husband, David (Fredric Lehne), to come home.  David is an intern at a hospital.  He works the nightshift and, as a result, he’s usually exhausted and not particularly communicative.  Unlike her husband, Gina comes from a wealthy family and she’s due to inherit a good deal of money as soon as she turns 21.  However, David stubbornly refuses to use any of Gina’s money to make either of their lives better.  He gets angry when Gina even mentions the possibility.  He’s prepared to spend the next ten years living in a crummy apartment and working terrible hours.  Once he establishes himself as a doctor, he says that he and Gina can start to think about starting a family.  Are you getting the feeling that David has control issues?  Because that’s definitely the feeling that I got from him.

Bored and frustrated, Gina turns to gambling.  Who can blame her?  Not only is it a way to make some money and bring some excitement into her life but it’s also something that she’s really good at!  She starts out just putting bets on horse races.  (The owner of a nearby bodega is also a bookie.)  She uses the money to buy a new television set, which David totally freaks out about.  Soon, Gina is sneaking off to Lake Tahoe.  While David works at the hospital, Gina hits the blackjack table and spins the roulette wheel.  She even attracts the eye of Keith Sindell (Michael Brandon), a handsome lawyer who loans her money and obviously has an interest in her that goes beyond card games.  Every morning, she jumps in her car and rushes back to San Francisco, arriving at her apartment before David gets home and lying to David about what she’s been doing all night.

It starts out well but this wouldn’t be a TV movie if there wasn’t a bit of drama.  Unfortunately, Gina’s luck starts to change and she soon finds herself in debt.  The owner of that bodega is a lot less nice when he’s demanding his money.  And Keith might be willing to cheat on his wife with her but he still expects her to pay back the money that he’s given her.  The world of gambling turns out to be harsh and unforgiving.  Gina is forced to find ways to get the money.  If that means lying to her husband, her father (played by Ed Lauter), and her accountant, so be it.  She might even have to — gasp! — get a job as a cocktail waitress!

It’s obvious from the start that Gina is going to get into trouble, or at least it’s obvious to everyone but Gina.  And really, isn’t that the way life is sometimes?  Usually, the only person who can’t see the walls closing in is the person who is about to get crushed.  The Seduction of Gina is melodramatic and predictable but Valerie Bertinelli is likable in the role of Gina and the scenes in casino are enjoyably gaudy and a little bit sordid.  It’s an entertaining movie, a Lifetime film that came out before Lifetime.  The film’s message is not to gamble but The Seduction of Gina makes winning look like so much fun that it probably inspired more people to hit the casinos than to stay at home and balance the checkbook.  In the classic DeMille fashion, this film offers both sin and a hint of salvation but it understands that sin is more entertaining to watch.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/30/22 — 11/5/22

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve spent this week in a state of exhaustion as I’ve tried to physically and mentally recover from this year’s Horrorthon.  Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched over the past seven days.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

The commercial was amusing and I enjoyed the scene where everyone realized that the reason they had allowed the commercials to be filmed was because they had gotten used to being followed around by cameras.  I enjoyed hearing about the shows that the characters happened to be watching when they saw the commercial.  I’m not really sure that Abbott needs a supervillain, though.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!

Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)

Al moved out to a farm and nearly got killed by a feral hog.  Brian Tyree Henry’s reactions were priceless.

California Dreams (YouTube)

Surf dudes without attitude …. kinda groovy …. I watched a few episodes and wrote a few reviews that will be dropping over the course of the next few weeks.  I’ll be glad to be done with season 2 because, as everyone knows, season 3 is when this show gets good.

City Guys (Tubi)

98 Degrees played Manny High and Chris dated a goth!  You can read about it here.

Family Feud (Weekday afternoons, Buzzr)

On Monday, I watched two episodes of this deathless game show.  They were both Halloween episodes from the 80s so everyone was wearing a costume.  I have no idea who won.  Survey says, “Didn’t much attention!”

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

I wrote about Fantasy Island and Leslie Nielsen here!

Ghost Whisperer (Hulu)

I watched an episode of my favorite guilty pleasure on Monday.  Jennifer Love Hewitt helped Hillary Duff deal with a ghost.  Meanwhile, Melinda’s dead husband continued to hang out in someone else’s body.  That was a weird season.

Hang Time (YouTube)

I watched a few episodes of Hang Time yesterday and today and I wrote and scheduled reviews for all of them.  Keep an eye out on Monday.

Highway to Heaven (YouTube)

I shared this episode on Monday.  Jonathan battled the devil for Mark’s soul.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Hulu)

I watched the episode in Sunday in which Mac and Dennis tried to create an economy based on Paddy Bucks.  Meanwhile, Frank chopped off a finger while trying to sale knives.  I fell off the couch laughing.

It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this classic on Sunday.  It’s a part of our Halloween tradition.  A few years ago, Erin wrote about this special and why it continues to appeal to us.

King of the Hill (Hulu)

I watched two episodes on Monday.  The first was the episode where Hank fights for the right to trick or treat.  The second was one of my favorites, in which Bobby buys a pack of Tarot cards and accidentally joins a coven.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

A fashion designer is murdered while crime spirals out of control in New York.  This was actually a pretty good episode, even if the mystery itself was rather routine.  It was an episode that acknowledged just how powerless people feel in the face of America’s current crime wave and it put the blame squarely on our elected officials.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about my latest voyage here.

Night Flight (NightFlight+)

I watched an episode of this entertainment news show from 1992.  The show contained a profile of Bruce Springsteen, some footage of Duke Ellington performing, and then a few comedic shorts featuring Charlie Chaplin, W.C. Fields, and others.

The Office (Peacock)

On Halloween, I watched the first Halloween episode.  Imagine how different the series would have been if Michael had fired Creed instead of Devin.

One World (Tubi)

I binged the entirety of this show on Thursday and Friday.  Here are my thoughts on two episodes.

Saved By The Bell (Hulu)

Zach and the gang went on a mystery weekend!  It’s about as close as this show ever got to a Halloween episode so I watched it on Halloween.  Even when Zach thought people were actually being murdered, he seemed oddly unconcerned.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here!

Toy Story of Terror (Sunday Night, ABC)

I watch this special every year.  I have to admit that it’s never quite as good as I seem to remember it being but, that said, how can you not love the toys?

Retro Television Review: California Dreams 2.6 “Surfboards and Cycles” and 2.7 “A Question of Math”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, love is in the air as Jake and Tiffani realize that they could make beautiful music together.  Meanwhile, the pressure of exam season threatens the future of the Dreams!

But first, the opening  credits.  Again, because the post-Jenny opening credits for season two have not been uploaded to YouTube, you have to imagine Jennie Kwan in the place of Heidi Noelle Lenhart.

Episode 2.6 “Surfboards and Cycles”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 16th, 1993)

In a storyline that shows how much the second season of California Dreams owed to every single season of Saved By The Bell, the members of the band have to pick an elective.  Sly and Matt enroll in home economics so they can meet girls and are stunned to discover that their teacher is a hardass former Marine who expects culinary perfection.

Meanwhile, Tiffani and Sam enroll in auto shop so that they can meet boys.  Also enrolled in auto shop is Jake.  Jake is convinced that women don’t belong in auto shop and Tiffani and Sam quickly prove his point by revealing that they know nothing about cars.  (I would also be clueless in auto shop but I will say that my sister Melissa can fix anything on a car.)  That said, Tiffani and Jake still fall in love.  The band panics because Jake and Tiffani seem like such opposites.  So, Sly and Tony go out of their way to plant seeds of doubt in Jake and Tiffani’s mind.  When Jake insists on wearing his leather jacket to the beach, Tiffani dumps his ass.  Yay, Tiffani!

But …. oh no!  Before breaking up, Tiffani and Jake wrote a duet.  Matt wants to make the song a part of the regular Dreams set list but how can he do that if Tiffani and Jake aren’t speaking?  Looks like it’s time to take over Sharky’s and trick Tiffani and Jake into meeting for the most romantic dinner of their lives!  Somehow, it works.  I’m just wondering why Sharky was always willing to let the Dreams shut down his place of business whenever they felt like it.  That doesn’t seem like a good business model.

This episode was pretty derivative and the main message appeared to be that Matt’s a jerk who can’t come up with a song on his own.  But Tiffani and Jake actually were a pretty cute couple and they had a likable chemistry together.  That chemistry pretty much saved this episode.

Episode 2.7 “A Question of Math”

(Directed by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 23rd, 1993)

The entire school is freaking out about midterms!  Sam becomes a tutor but her latest student, an arrogant football star (Richard Hillman), pretends to like her just so he can get out of paying her!  Luckily, Sam gets her revenge by tricking him into buying a fake test that has all the wrong answers.  Way to go, Sam!  Ruin that guy’s future!

That most interesting about this episode is that the football star was played by Richard Hillman, who also played Kirsten Dunst’s jerk of a boyfriend in Bring It On.  This was an enjoyable episode, even if I have my doubts about whether or not everyone would go that crazy over a high school midterm.  Maybe it’s just because I’m also watching One World and experiencing first hand what happens when a cast has absolutely no chemistry but I’ve really grown to appreciate the cast of California Dreams.  They all just seem like they sincerely enjoy hanging out together and, for the most part, they’ve got enough comedic timing that they can save even a weak joke.

What does the future hold for the surf dudes with attitude?  We’ll find out next week.

Retro Television Review: One World 2.6 “Cyrano De Bengerac” and 2.7 “It’s All Greek To Me”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

Uptown, I see a lot of brothers and sisters living on the streets….

Well, not really.  But I can agree that we’re living in one world….

Episode 2.6 “Cyrano de Bengerac”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on October 23rd, 1999)

Good God, this was so painful!

Ben wants to date Roxanne (Ashley Yegan) but Roxane is into poetry and plays and she can basically speak in coherent sentences.  Ben, meanwhile, is Ben.  Actually, I’ve noticed that Ben’s level of intelligence and maturity tends to change from episode-to-episode, depending on the needs of the story.  In this episode, Ben was required to be an absolute idiot.

Knowing that Neal is smart, Ben recruits his brother to tell him what he needs to say to win over Roxanne.  Neal agrees, on the condition that Ben read the play Cyrano de Bergerac.  This leads to the exact same scenario that showed up at least once in every single TNBC series.  Ben puts in an earpiece and goes to a play with Roxanne.  Neal sits a few rows away from them and tells Ben what to say.  Unfortunately, the earpiece starts to pick up other signals and Ben dumbly repeats everything that he hears, even the stuff that makes no sense and which is obviously not being sent to him by Neal.  Roxanne is still impressed enough that, even after she notices the earpiece, she’s still willing to dump Ben so that she can go out with Neal.  Sorry, Ben!  At first, Neal isn’t willing to betray his brother but then Ben reads the play and tells Neal to go for it.

Meanwhile, Dave tries to bond with his adopted daughters by taking them all camping.  Of course, it’s a disaster because Marci and Sui don’t like sleeping in dirt and Jane enjoys starting to trouble.  Since I’m not really into the whole camping thing, I could relate to their horror of having to sleep outside.  That said, the main message here appeared to be that Dave is an idiot and his daughters, who are all approaching adulthood, are thoroughly incapable of taking care of themselves.  Perhaps it’s time for someone to call social services again.

Anyway, as I said at the start, this was a painful episode in which everyone was required to be even dumber than usual.  Let’s move on.

Episode 2.7 “Its All Geek To Me”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on October 30th, 1999)

Oddly enough, this episode was not included on Tubi.  I had to go to YouTube to watch it.  I was hoping that maybe this would be a controversial episode that was pulled from syndication because someone made an offensive joke or something like that.  Instead, this episode was One World at its most jejune.

Sui is failing history and running the risk of getting kicked off the basketball team.  (Wait — she plays basketball now?)  Neal arranges for her to be tutored by Billy (Michael Thomas Dunn).  Billy is kind of nerdy but sweet and when he asks Sui to go to the Dave Matthews Band concert (90s alert!), Sui agrees.  But then everyone gives Sui a hard time about “dating a geek” so she lies to get out of it.  Didn’t the same thing happen to Zach Morris when an overweight girl bought him at a date auction?  Why was everyone on TNBC so shallow?

Anyway, Sui learns the error of her ways and she and Billy share a kiss with the entire football team watching.  “Wooooo!’ the audience exclaims.

Sui learned an important lesson about peer pressure and Billy will probably never be seen again.