Oh, I love this one! Seriously, Boris Karloff and Christmas are a great combination!
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Friday, NBC)
Why is Santa Claus so mean in this one? This special has always been my least favorite of the classic Christmas specials because it makes the North Pole look like a terrible place to work.
Saved By The Bell: The New Class (Prime)
I’ve been struggling with insomnia this week but I discovered that, if I put SBTB: The New Class on as background noise, it actually eases me into sleep. This week, I slept through seasons 6 and 7. I had totally forgotten that, after Richard Lee Jackson left, they brought in yet another blonde transfer student from Valley to step into the Zack role. As I said last week, this show was the version of Saved By The Bell that I grew up with and I have a certain nostalgia for it. It’s not good but it’s oddly comforting in its terrible way.
Sean Combs: The Reckoning (Netflix)
I watched this docuseries on Friday and Saturday. It’s always so weird to me how people just kind of shrug off rap feuds turning violent, as if all the death is just a part of the entertainment. As for the series itself, it obviously had an agenda but that doesn’t make Sean Combs any less sleazy.
Erin and I watched this on Tuesday. It’s one of our traditions! I swear, though, Peppermint Patty is so mean in this one. And yet, after all that he’s had to put up with, Charlie Brown still invites everyone to come to his grandmother’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. What a guy! You can read Erin’s thoughts here.
Saved By The Bell: The New Class (Prime)
Finally! The version of Saved By The Bell that I grew up with is available on Prime! I watched a few episodes on Friday and …. well, they weren’t very good. But maybe I just need to adjust my expectations. I look forward to watching all seven seasons!
This week was all about horror movies but here’s a few thoughts on what little of episodic television that I watched this week.
Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)
Why would they take the kids camping? This episode made no sense to me. I’m a little tired of hearing about Gregory’s “goofballs.”
Dragnet (YouTube)
I watched the “Night School” episode and the “Talk Show” episode. They both made me smile. I’ve seen them so many times that watching them automatically relaxes me.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, F0x)
Will the Blue Team ever get it together? I assume they will eventually. The men always seem to start out weak before becoming unbeatable towards the end of the season. Still, right now, I wouldn’t want any of these people making me anything to eat.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
For the second week in a row, Maroun did not appear. I don’t really have a problem with that, as Maroun was (is?) kind of an annoying character but it’s hard not to notice that now, neither Reid Scott nor Hugh Dancy are working with a partner. I also noticed this week that Reid Scott, Hugh Dancy, and Tony Goldwyn all look way too similar. Suddenly, Law & Order is dominated by sickly-looking white guys.
Gregory throws a terrible party at his apartment. Mr. Johnson, Barbara, Melissa, and Ava go to the DMV to get their Real IDs. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed at hard at any show as I did while watching this week’s episode of Abbott. Even the things that I was previously getting tired of — like Gregory being socially awkward — once again made me laugh. Abbott Elementary occasionally gets a bit preachy for my tastes but when it work, it’s truly special.
By the way, in Texas, they just give you a Real ID when you renew your driver’s license. It’s pretty simple. I don’t know why the states up north decided to make it complicated for everyone.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)
Poor Bradley. Chef Ramsay even gave him a pep talk and it still didn’t make him a better chef.
It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Apple TV)
On Thursday night, Erin and I did our annual viewing of this classic holiday special. You can read Erin’s thoughts here. Poor Charlie Brown. “I got a rock!”
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
This week, a murderer claimed diplomatic immunity. The White House demanded that the DA drop the charges because it had a weapons deal with the UAE. Maroun was not present and was not missed. Price and Baxter spent the entire episode giving each other strained looks of sympathy. Both Price and Baxter are such boring characters that I sometimes struggled to remember which is which. Hugh Dancy and Tony Goldwyn are both totally wasted by this show.
Night Flight (Night Flight+)
On Friday, I watched a “video profile” of musician Annie Lennox. The music was great.
Rogue’s Gallery (Night Flight+)
On Friday night, I watched a documentary on Al Capone. Now that’s crime with style!
Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (Thursday Night, FOX)
Much as with last week, I found myself wondering why anyone not in the Army would put up with being yelled at for 24 hours a day. I would have walked off the set after an hour.
The Abbott teachers go to a baseball game! As our readers may have noticed, my sister loves baseball so I made sure to have her watch this episode with me. She enjoyed it, which made me happy. Myself, I found myself wondering why so many shows — like Abbott with Philadelphia or Dick Wolf’s Chicago shows — take place in cities that most American hate. Like, if I was ever told that I had to pick between Philadelphia or prison, I’d probably pick prison because at least there wouldn’t be as many people yelling. Yet, Abbott is often a rather charming show and I usually love It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. It’s just weird how these things work.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)
Ugh, this episode made me physically ill. I don’t think I could ever be a professional chef, not if it means having to clean every inch of a fishing boat. (I cleaned my kitchen before watching this episode and my back was killing me by the time I was finished.) As for this episode and this season, it doesn’t seem like a single chef should be trusted to cook food for anyone. Chef Ramsay is doing a lot of yelling and I agree with him.
Law and Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
This week, yet another millionaire was murdered in New York City and there was yet another crazy defense that, for whatever reason, Maroun seemed to have sympathy for. As much as I usually like the “Law” half of these shows, the “Order” part often verges on self-parody. Between Nolan Price’s wimpy summations and Maroun’s eagerness to protect the criminals, I’m surprised they ever get a conviction.
Night Flight (NightFlight Plus)
On Saturday morning, I watched a video profile of KISS, a band that I really didn’t know much about. I enjoyed the juxtaposition between the fearsome makeup and their not-at-all fearsome music.
Snub TV (NightFlight Plus)
On Friday night. Jeff and I watched an episode of this 80s music show with our friends, Patrick and Dani. It was good music. You could dance to it.
Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (Thursday Night, Fox)
This show is just not that interesting without Jussie Smollett crying about how nobody will accept that “I just want to move on” from filing a false police report. If it was really the world’s toughest test, I don’t think a bunch of out-of-shape reality show participants would be doing as well as they are.
Twilight Zone (Prime)
This week, I watched a few classic episodes — To Serve Man, The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street, Twenty-Two (“Room for one more, honey!”), Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up, Nick of Time, and Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. If the Twilight Zone is not a part of your October viewing, you’re doing Halloween wrong!
The Vanishing Ray (NightFlight Plus)
I checked in with this 1930s serial on Friday night. The bad guys were still after the vanishing ray and the good guys were still trying to protect it. As always, this chapter ended with a cliffhanger and an invitation to return to theater next week for the next installment.
Eh. I’m not really interested in Melissa’s adventures as a sixth grade teacher. As well, Tariq really hasn’t been amusing since the end of the first season. I worry this show is reaching the “treading water” phase of its existence.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday, Fox)
After a week of commercials that implied the police would be showing up at Hell’s Kitchen to arrest one of the chefs, this week’s episode featured the cops showing up at Hell’s Kitchen so the chefs could make them breakfast. I wasn’t really surprised. Hell’s Kitchen has always been shameless about doing stuff like that. That’s actually a part of the show’s appeal. As for this week’s episode, everyone appears to be remarkably incompetent. I wouldn’t accept a meal from any of these people.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
Another week, another murder. Once again, Maroun was upset over having to do her job. The law half of this show is usually pretty good but the order half is awful. Nolan is such a wimp. Maroun should have been fired the first time she ever suggested allowing a criminal to go free.
Ozark Law (Hulu)
I guess this show ran on A&E earlier this year. I watched the first episode on Hulu. It was a reality show about cops in small town Missouri. They had to deal with a bunch of people hanging out at the lake for the Fourth of July weekend. It was the usual stuff. The cops arrested a woman for having an expired license. A man’s house was burglarized. The male cops were all heavily tattooed and bearded. The female cops all looked like the hyper-religious girl from high school who would judge you for wearing a short skirt. All the cops had that terse cop way of speaking.
The Prisoner (Nightflight Plus)
Jeff and I watched the final episode of this 60s show on Friday night. I’ll miss Rover.
Special Force: World’s Toughest Test (Fox, Thursday Night)
Jussie Smollett has left the show so what even is the point now?
For the most part, I’ve spent this week watching horror movies and reviewing them. That said, I did get caught up with a handful of shows. Here are a few thoughts:
Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)
I got pretty bored with Abbott last season but I still caught the season five premiere this week. I laughed quite a bit so I guess I’m going to give the latest season a chance. The show got a bit heavy-handed last season and I got bored with all of the golf course nonsense. Hopefully, this season will put the focus back on teaching.
Big Brother 27 (Sunday Night, CBS)
BigBrother ended on Sunday and I’ve already forgotten all about it. That’s the way things should be.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)
I got caught up with the latest two episodes of Hell’s Kitchen. The men seem to be especially incompetent this season. I know that every season seems to start out with the men weak and the women strong before reversing things later on but seriously, this season, I wouldn’t want any of these people cooking for me.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
I decided to give Law & Order another try this season. (Last season, I stopped watching about halfway through.) Of course, when I watched the first two episodes of the current season, the first thing I saw was Price on the verge of tears. Is there ever a time when Nolan Price isn’t on the verge of tears? Just as with the previous season, I preferred the Law to the Order part of the show. If Maroun and Price are always miserable about having to do this jobs, why are they even working for the District Attorney’s office to begin with? Ever since this show was revived, we’ve had a steady stream of new detectives and yet Price and Maroun are still the same colorless characters that they were when they first appeared.
The Prisoner (Night Flight Plus)
I watched two episodes of this cult classic on Friday. My favorite character is Rover.
Seinfeld (Netflix)
Kramer starts a talk show in his living room. It made me laugh!
Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (Thursday Night, Fox)
Yet another group of celebrities have gathered to see if they can pass Special Forces training. I watched the first two episodes this week. I laughed when one of the instructors yelled, “How badly do you want this!?” They probably just want their paycheck. I also laughed at Jussie Smollett, trying to make a comeback as one of the celebs. What if Smollett wins this season and is sent to Afghanistan with orders to take down the Taliban? That would be a hell of a redemption arc!
The Young and the Restless (Weekday Morning, CBS)
I watched an episode on Monday, largely to see if Victor was still around. He was.
Only one more month of this crap left! I’ve been writing about Big Brother, on an increasingly irregular basis, over at the Big Brother Blog. I’ll be happy when Survivor and The Amazing Race return.
The Dark Side of Comedy (Hulu)
I watched a few episodes of this show because I was bored. The Dustin Diamond episode was sad. You know what wasn’t sad? The Family Matters episode, in which the only two members of the cast willing to be interviewed complained endlessly about being overshadowed by Jaleel White. I mean, admittedly, if my big chance at stardom was short-circuited by Urkel, I’d probably be bitter too but still, there comes a time when you have stop whining.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Hulu)
I finished up the latest season. I have to admit that the trip to the dog track almost made me throw up, it got so (intentionally) disgusting. But no matter! Frank as the Golden Bachelor? Brilliant! Now, I want to see Dennis and Mac on The Amazing Race. Or maybe Charlie and Frank on The Amazing Race. Or Dee and …. well, she’d probably end up running alone. It would still make me laugh, though.
The Paper (Peacock)
From the creators of The Office …. oh, I really wanted to like this. And the show had its isolated funny moments but what it didn’t have were any characters who were, in any way, as interesting as the folks on The Office. The Paper mixed the format of The Office with the earnestness of Parks and Rec and I was pretty bored by the sixth episode. One thing that this show didn’t seem to get is that people could see themselves in The Office because everyone hates their job. Everyone could relate to Jim’s frustrations and Pam’s boredom. The Paper, on the other hand, is about people who love their job to an almost obnoxious extent and, as such, the characters just weren’t relatable. If anything they were kind of annoying. The show attempts to do a Jim-and-Pam thing with the characters played by Domhnall Gleeson and Chelsea Frei but it doesn’t work because 1) he’s her boss and 2) the two actors don’t really have much chemistry. Their scenes together felt forced. (I was happy to see Oscar Nunez again, if just because he brought so much needed cynicism to the show.) I’m a big admirer of producer Greg Daniels and the King of the Hill reboot was brilliant but, in this case, I think he overestimated that amount of nostalgia that people have for newspapers.
The Serial Killer’s Apprentice (HBOMax)
This documentary took a look at the disturbing life and crimes of Texas serial killer Dean Corll and it featured an interview with Elmer Henley, the young man who went from being Corll’s accomplice to eventually being Corll’s killer. Henley is still serving a life sentence. This documentary featured an interview with him and it made the mistake of featuring an actor playing the older Henley as he spoke on the phone in the jail. It’s an interesting story and I’m surprised that it hasn’t been turned into a cheap B-movie like so many other real-life serial killer tales have. That said, this documentary was a bit on the shallow side. Elmer Henley may have ultimately killed Corll but, before that, he helped Corll kill a lot of people. Henley is right where belongs, in prison for the rest of his life.
GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!
This episode was really two storylines that had very little to do with one another; so, I’ll have to do like a story A and a story B. Story A shows Gordon (Scott Burkholder) and weird friend pining for a blonde bombshell ice skater. This entire scene is really creepy. Why? Neither of these guys went to the skating rink to skate or watch a game. They are literally just there to watch people. Yikes!
Super creepy Rob Lowe likes to go to the rec center and watch folks swim just like these guys who go to the rec center and watch people ice skate
Gordon has an OK job. He is not particularly handsome, but he’s not the worst. Anyway, he’s lonely. Gordon decides to use a dating service that has him lie on a video to get women. This could’ve been a cool plot line, if the dating service was run by the devil and he was selling his soul, but nope, it was just a dumb dating service. Then, out of nowhere, he was dead the whole time. So, huh?
Story B has an unattractive woman named Mary who gets convinced by her pretty coworker to get bizarre plastic surgery to be beautiful, but she’s actually not beautiful. It was so convoluted that it was really hard to follow.
The story B also had a sub plot that the real estate place where Mary worked was hiring pretty women to sleep with the clients to close deals. After Mary beautifies herself, she agrees to prostitute herself to close a real estate deal, but then the client thinks she’s ugly and she dies. Yep, the plot was schizophrenic. I was going to use a flow chart to follow it, but I can’t spend more time on story than the writers did.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Gavin MacLeod of the clan MacLeod declares (after the song number) “There can be only one!”, runs amok
This episode should be called- Lying Liars Who Lie!!!!
There are three stories all of which have pathological liars. The first story is “Paroled to Love” and it is beyond impossible. Gloria Baxter (Vicki Lawrence) is a criminal defense lawyer who just got a pardon for her embezzling client Eddie (Richard Kline). As the plot would have it, Eddie and Gloria love one another, but Eddie has a secret: he done did it and Gloria thought he was an innocent man!
Sidenote: as you may know, I was a criminal attorney for a number of years and in all of those cases, I can’t say that I had no innocent clients because I had one. One!
When I told my criminal defense attorney public defender friends that I had an actually innocent client, they told me to hold on because they needed to get recesses in the courthouse so that all of the PD’s could come out and hear this tale that sounded like lore! These attorneys had been doing criminal defense for decades and never had an innocent client! There was a crowd of over 70 attorneys, both public and private! They listened rapt to every detail of my story like I was Gandolf telling the stories of the rings!
I told them that I had documented proof that the police officer had not only lied, but falsified his police report, you could feel their goosebumps. Several of them begged me to just let them sit next to me as co-council or let them file a motion for me for free just so they could be part of this once in a career event. So, why in the world did Gloria not just presume that Eddie was not only guilty but a liar? Was this her first case? Was she hit on the head with something hard? Was her law school in Candyland?
Yes, Eddie lied to Gloria so she would get him a pardon when in fact, he was an embezzler, and she insists that to have her love he must go back to jail. At first, Eddie refuses, then she changes her mind, and Eddie decides to change his mind and go back to prison! It’s weird for many reasons: lawyers can’t date their clients and once a pardon is issued, it can’t be revoked! Once a pardon is accepted- It’s over.
The second story with a lying liar who lies is the Phyllis Faraday (Carole Cook) storyline. Phyllis wants to get a part playing of Florence Nightingale so decides to be a fake nurse for the Doc in order to get practice. Sadly, there was a shuffleboard accident and she did not set a compound fracture properly, the patient became septic, died, and the show was renamed The Death Boat. The show still had song and dance numbers, but they were all by Adele.
JK, she meets a guy who’s a rancher out of Wyoming, who thinks she’s an actual nurse and he falls in love with her after 24 hours because he thinks she’s a tenderhearted nurse. However, she is not a nurse and must confess this.
But did she really need to confess anything? I mean, this guy fell in love with her after 24 hours. How do you know that he won’t fall in love with the cab driver who picked them up for the ship and took them to their hotel or a cashier or anyone he meets for any period of time over 60 seconds?
The last storyline of lying liars who lie was probably the most weird, but it did allow them to have their required vaudeville acts of impressions and singing. Doris (Leia’s Mom) and Marsha (Marilyn Michaels) started a talent company with Julie. Gotta say, Julie seems agitated – I wonder why? Could it be????
Unfortunately, Doris and Marsha booked all of these celebrities to go on the cruise, but they sent them on the wrong cruise. They sent the stars on an Alaskan cruise and they didn’t bring any warm clothes which makes me wonder. Are they all dead? Is this like “Alive?” Why would that cruise ship take these stars aboard, when they were not on the manifest? What kind of a rogue cruise ship was this? Was it, in fact, a ship devoted to human trafficking? Are all these poor Hollywood stars now in some bizarre salt mine fighting to the death for the amusement of The Rumble on the infamous Money Plane???
I couldn’t find the “it’s rumble time”GIF
Doris and Marsha decide to do the most obvious thing: they pretend to be all these different Hollywood stars with OK impressions and then do a song number. Honestly, they might as well do that. It’s so hard for this show to contrive credible reasons for a song and dance number for every episode that I’ve seen so far; so, why not this?
Through the Shattered Lens 