Category Archives: October

Smiling Woman 2, Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Well Alex, here we are…again. I guess the demon-lady’s still smiling and will break dance her way into another murder-hug. Why can’t she visit me prior to watching this short? Come and get me!!!

We open with a parking garage and a business woman walking alone. Note: I can’t know this for sure without looking her up on imdb, but the actress seems really short. In fact, she doesn’t look much taller than the wastebasket next to the pillar in the parking garage.

Help me….*she squeaked*

I don’t know why Alex had the wastebasket in the shot; it gave her scale and made her so tiny. I will give Alex credit that he cast Ariel Fullinwider again, but now in the role of the smiling woman because it gives us the lifecycle of the creature. It goes around trying on flesh like “rent a runway”; so, it’s like a “rent a skin suit” *working corporate name*.

This whole skin suit thing doesn’t work for me in terms of Conservation of Mass, NO. Matter can neither be created or destroyed and this victim is really short; so, I don’t think the skin suit will work. Mathematically, it’s proven from this straight forward differential equation:

row= density, t= time, delta = divergence, and V= fluid velocity.

Basically, you can’t put a normal sized lady into smaller lady without it looking like a Michelin Man.

Depiction

Alex could’ve called and we could’ve worked through these partial derivatives together. Listen, I know what some of you are saying:

Case, you could’ve just shown me a straight-forward integral:

The change in Mass (M) of the monster about absorb short-lady would have to expand in mass and it wouldn’t matter how long you took. Monster Smiling Lady + Short Lady = Bigger Monster Lady because the total mass can’t change. Maybe she pooped the little lady out? No, I tell you, NO because she’s going from big to small; there is NO WAY that little lady could poo that much skin suit wearing monster. It fails in so many ways.

Furthermore, the whole “Breakin 2” monster moves is weird and the second lady gets absorbed with a smile-face with no mathematical proof to undue my clear and exciting explanation above. Alex does not get to break a fundamental law of physics because he’s not good at things. I get it the monster’s gotta eat or whatever, but there’d still be leftovers- an “Ariel Fullinwider To Go bag” if you will. Alex- you’re on notice!

BOOM!

Smiling Woman, Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Alex Magana…we meet again. I get that you must punish me, but these actresses are sometimes pretty good, can’t you spare them? No? Fine. Smiling Woman… wait…. Alex, you made two of these “Smiling Woman” films?! On Purpose? This is gonna be a rough day.

A lady is waiting for public transportation, which is really a bad idea. The bright spot of this film is that it discourages the use of public transportation because some monster break dancer will murder you while wearing a summer dress. On that note, I’m all for it. You’re so much safer in a gas powered SUV – EVs stop working when its cold; so, a large SUV that gets 3 miles to the gallon will give you MAXIMUM SAFETY- That’s Just Science! Thanks, Alex! We agree.

The short opens with a commuter-lady waiting for an above ground subway and a casually dressed demon with a part/bangs-hybrid hairstyle decides that this is the evening to murder-hug a commuter. The demon has an off-the-shoulder thing working for her, but I don’t know if that’s an evil thing or a That’s So Last Season kinda thing.

You can be murdered in a lot of ways, I guess? We don’t really see the commuter-lady die, but at the very least she was hugged and NOT in the slap you on the back fun hug. It was a hug hug- the hug we now know is a prelude for murder….probably.

Omegle, Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

You know, I’m a good person, but somehow though, Alex Magana has inadvertently become my Moriarty: my archnemesis. See, he doesn’t know it, but I’m in a pickle. I need to consistently do brilliant reviews this October- for every day as best as I am able, AND also prepare for my second round of mid-terms as I rocket towards my Senior Year of Engineering, all the while being a Super Handsome Italian Dad.

N.B., I would like to review features; ideally, live tweeting them with the TSL staff and other great people. Until that day, I have….Alex Magana. He has an abundance of fun-sized short horror films and because of my constant time crunch these wee Rabbit-Raisinets are impossible to ignore. Here I am….reviewing ANOTHER Alex Magana film….ok… here it comes.

Omegle is an actual company that, as far as I can tell, wants to bring serial killers and their victims together. It’s business is to allow people to NOT register on the site and randomly pair you to video chat with any random psycho in the whole wide world. This short plays up on the obvious conclusion for this terrible terrible business. A nice, but lonely lady is paired to chat with a random person. This random person does evil magic tricks and puts her into the upside-down or some such mishigas.

Alex is really hot on people being attacked in their safe spaces. His films are a true commitment to obviousness! He is to filmmaking what Popsicle Stick Jokes are to comedy. This is our fault. We allow Alex to make films. Really, how tall could he be? Four or Five us could wrest the camera from him and if he’s really short, we could hold it over his head and say, Mine Now!!!

We allow Omegle to exist too for some stupid reason and of course some evil magician from the IT Department starts whacking people. Didn’t we always know that IT guys were psychopath magicians? Who wakes up soaked with flop sweat from an epiphany-fever-dream and exclaims, “I shall network strangers to Windows 12…TODAY, I TELL YOU WORLD, TODAY!!!!

Whether it’s Omegle or Alex, the fault is not in the stars, it is in our inability to hold him down and stop him from filming.

Thirsty, Review by Case Wright

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Huh? Ok, this was….terrible. I can’t put my finger on what part of this was more terrible: the acting, story, or visuals? Well, it’s all craptastic. Why don’t they think of me before they film something so stupid? He must know that someone will have to review this garbage trash and it will probably be me.

Alex Magana is a hit or miss filmmaker and WOW does he use the shotgun over pistol technique. It’s like a firehose of content spraying all over your face- sometimes the water gets into your mouth, refreshing your artistic interest, but other times, it powerfully shoots out an eyeball and you hope for death. His films are like that.

Luckily, Magana’s films are rarely over four-minutes; so, your misery is brief like when a dentist has a good grip with her pliers and yanks out that infected tooth of yours. Yeah, there’s pus and a brackish fluid flowing from your gum socket that used to house your back molar and you can’t help but taste the brackish fluid and later when they debride the rotten gum tissue and there’s a smell of rotting bacon, you know that it’s over. Magana’s films are like that: sometimes it’s like getting a cleaning from the flirty hygienist and other times, it’s all about the rotting bacon gums.

Thirsty was a rotting bacon gums experience, but if you’re into that- Watch below.

Missing, Review By Case Wright

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I wanted to include some picture or poster for this, but I can’t because nothing exists. Leave it to me to enjoy something that no one else does. I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Apparently, it came out in 2020 and no one liked it. Well, that all changed today because I liked it and that’s what matters!

A woman finds out that she’s missing. This film is two minutes of your life and it’s a fun two minutes. I recommend you take a pause and enjoy it!

Selfie From Hell, Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

A woman takes a selfie at home and there is a man/figure behind her who she can only see in her phone. Twist: he’s a reverse vampire… sort of. I’m not sure. This is a great example of a great short. It’s cheap, quick, and scary. I was unnerved and jumped a bit. There were only 3 words of dialogue; so, it was all showing not telling, which is good because they are German and I don’t speak the language.

This is the fear of the invasion of your personal safe space. It’s part of us because if we don’t have it, we’d die.

Must Watch!

Witch Hunt, Review by Case Wright

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Oof

I know many of you wonderful readers must think that I’m rooting for failure. I really want artists to do a good job and not be terrible. The short film is the farm team for many writers, directors, and actors. It forces you to have a clear idea, vibrant characters, be economical with your dialogue, and how to show not tell. This short was 8 minutes and change and it was awesome for the first four minutes. Then…..

The film has a great hook: without any dialogue, we see that the MC is a Twitter troll. He gets a knock at the door. She’s a pilgrim at the door and he proceeds to creep on her in at least three ways. This is a good setup. Then, a witch hunter from the past appears at the creep’s door with an arrest warrant. I’m getting a great twilight zone feel.

The artist shifts gears with a twist that it’s two of his Internet victims in Party City outfits who want to hang him. Then, they hang him. This is so anti-climatic. I get that he murdered their reputations so they murder him IRL. I could see this happening. If someone is recording someone to make them infamous, I could see someone thinking- well I might as well kill this guy. We always work under the assumption that people will play by the rules. This is a stupid way to be because we have obvious examples that it’s not true i.e. Road Rage.

The reveal didn’t pop the narrative suspense balloon with a bang, it deflated it … slowly and sadly. It was more fun for the pilgrims to be ghosts summoned for revenge than two people with a grudge who would be easily caught. Maybe….Maybe, it could have worked if it were clearer through a scene or two what this man had done that warranted his murder. The heroine did mumble something about what he did, but it was rushed exposition. It did not feel justified.

The writer grasped the idea that a payoff is critical in a story and especially a short, but to have a payoff – you need a pay-in. We did get the idea that the MC was a jerk, BUT hanging a man on his porch and seeing his asphyxiated face was not earned. Revenge stories are great, but the target has to be more than a jerk. We need to be clear with a slow burn that this man had harmed the killers so greatly that we agree with them that this guy needed killing. It felt unfair, not disturbing. It felt awkward and disappointing.

It’s a shame because the writer has some talent, but not enough.

The Sky, Review by Case Wright (Dir. Matt Sears)

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Matt Sears only creates shorts, therefore, I am primed to like this creator. The Sky takes the Alien invasion/destruction genre and compresses it to two ordinary friends who are going to watch it end. The short brushed up a little too close to the Cardinal Sin of making a pitch masquerading as a short. I do give him a pass on this because it did deliver on the apocalypse.

Ellie and Victoria are old friends who are salt of the earth archetypes. Ellie has a string of boyfriends and is on the outs with her mom. Victoria doesn’t want to die alone. They decide to drink the British version of Two Buck Chuck, do shrooms, and watch it all end. Ellie’s mom tries to reconnect with her for the final moments, but she is on a pier somewhere not nearby. It is revealed that somehow Victoria contrived to prevent Ellie from spending the end of the world with her instead of having a reconciliation during this lovely Gotterdammerung.

Ellie leaves Victoria to die alone as she is hallucinating on shrooms. We are not sure whether or not she actually sees her mother, but we do see them both die. This film was made during COVID; so, it has an out with a whimper feel to it. I have not seen Matt Sears’ other shorts, but this is a Stephen King style story-telling- regular people who have to live with a monster in the basement- i.e. it’s never about the monster, it’s about how ordinary people live with a monster.

It reminds me of the song Veronica. It’s not about the Alzheimer’s; no, it’s about how loved she was that a man left everything to help the love of his life- die. Here, there’s no hope, but humanity continues.
So yes, I approve.

FWD, Review By Case Wright

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There are times when a writer/director knows that he has made something pretty bad. I had to write in “FWD” above because the writer/director didn’t bother to make a poster of any kind. I’d probably hide my involvement.

The story has an email chain letter that was common in 1999 and the main character did not forward it; so, she’s been marked for death. I did like the touches of the antiquated email and the large monitor to tell me – this is from simpler times and this film was done by someone who is creatively simple.

It was a painful ripoff of Scream and I did not like that. I remember Scream when I was a youth and just because you found an old monitor doesn’t mean that you can build a short around it. The actresses’ talents here were wasted.

Sometimes people create when they should just binge Netflix and leave the rest of us Normals alone. I encourage you to watch this terrible short because we all know what you did to deserve it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZKpc2WCBvs

Waffle, Review by Case Wright

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I do love a good short film. I love a good comedy horror and loathe the ones that are terrible like this garbage trash “Origin” that I reviewed last year: https://unobtainium13.com/2021/10/06/origin-film-review-by-case-wright/ I’m not saying that the person who unleashed “Origin” or any terrible Short Film should be imprisoned forever, but I’m not saying that they shouldn’t either- Listen, I’ll back your play.

Waffle was ….. not bad. There were some stunners last year. I mean true artworks and please if you have the ability to hire these actors, writers, and directors – please call them. I’ll spot your month’s IMDB Pro dues if you do. *winks with sexy Italian eyebrows, makes click sound – Sup?*

Kate Marovitch and Kerry Barker created Waffle and they hit a number of good points. It’s a self-contained story. They were on a budget, but made the film look awfully slick. There’s a clear plot and narrative thread. I put this short-film in the good category, which I don’t give out lightly. Shorts are a unique storytelling artform- Every word matters and every second matters. I wouldn’t mind seeing another one of their shorts; however, I’d like to see what they could create for a series.

The short takes our phone induced isolation to another level. In this world, you rent friendship and love with a finger swipe, but Katie uses the evil Tinder to find her victims. Yes, this plot is straight-forward, but it had some funny lines and a heart. They are tapping into the interpersonal relationship version of there are “ten-thousand channels and nothing’s on.”

I don’t want to spoil the ending and would recommend this ten-minutes for you. Yes, you!