Witch Hunt, Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 5, 2022 by casewright

I know many of you wonderful readers must think that I’m rooting for failure. I really want artists to do a good job and not be terrible. The short film is the farm team for many writers, directors, and actors. It forces you to have a clear idea, vibrant characters, be economical with your dialogue, and how to show not tell. This short was 8 minutes and change and it was awesome for the first four minutes. Then…..

The film has a great hook: without any dialogue, we see that the MC is a Twitter troll. He gets a knock at the door. She’s a pilgrim at the door and he proceeds to creep on her in at least three ways. This is a good setup. Then, a witch hunter from the past appears at the creep’s door with an arrest warrant. I’m getting a great twilight zone feel.

The artist shifts gears with a twist that it’s two of his Internet victims in Party City outfits who want to hang him. Then, they hang him. This is so anti-climatic. I get that he murdered their reputations so they murder him IRL. I could see this happening. If someone is recording someone to make them infamous, I could see someone thinking- well I might as well kill this guy. We always work under the assumption that people will play by the rules. This is a stupid way to be because we have obvious examples that it’s not true i.e. Road Rage.

The reveal didn’t pop the narrative suspense balloon with a bang, it deflated it … slowly and sadly. It was more fun for the pilgrims to be ghosts summoned for revenge than two people with a grudge who would be easily caught. Maybe….Maybe, it could have worked if it were clearer through a scene or two what this man had done that warranted his murder. The heroine did mumble something about what he did, but it was rushed exposition. It did not feel justified.

The writer grasped the idea that a payoff is critical in a story and especially a short, but to have a payoff – you need a pay-in. We did get the idea that the MC was a jerk, BUT hanging a man on his porch and seeing his asphyxiated face was not earned. Revenge stories are great, but the target has to be more than a jerk. We need to be clear with a slow burn that this man had harmed the killers so greatly that we agree with them that this guy needed killing. It felt unfair, not disturbing. It felt awkward and disappointing.

It’s a shame because the writer has some talent, but not enough.

October Positivity: The Appointment (dir by Rich Christiano)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1991 and filmed in Arkansas (which means that I might very well be distantly related to half the cast), The Appointment opens with people all across a small town reading a newspaper column that’s been written by Liz (Karen Jo Briere). Liz’s column is all about how much she hates Christians and how she wishes that they would stop opening up new churches and demanding that everyone give them money. Judging by the reactions of the people reading the column, this is apparently the only thing that Liz ever writes about.

At the newspaper, Liz is getting angry calls from people who she describes as being “religious nuts.” At one point, she says that the paper has gotten fifteen calls! Now, I know that probably doesn’t sound like that many calls to you city folks but we’re talking about small-town Arkansas here. In Arkansas, for every one person who complains, there’s probably about twenty who are just holding their tongue out of politeness. In other words, Liz has upset a lot of people but she doesn’t care. She hates religion and, besides, she’s going to Hawaii in just a few weeks.

But then, a mysterious man enters Liz’s office. We never actually see the man. Instead, we just see things from his point-of-view and we hear his voice when he speaks. He informs Liz that he has a message from the Lord.

“The Lord who?” Liz asks.

“The Lord Jesus Christ,” the man replies.

(What was Liz expecting to hear? Does she regularly get messages from the House of Lords or something?)

The man tells Liz that she’s going to die on September 19th at 6:05 pm. She laughs him off and says that she can’t die because she’s going to Hawaii and she’s never seen it before.

“You never will,” the man replies.

AGCK!

The Appointment is a seriously creepy film. What really makes it creepy is that no one at the newspaper seems to be that upset by this mysterious man who shows up in their office and tell their star columnist that she’s going to die. Even though it’s established that everyone can see and hear the man, it doesn’t occur to anyone to call the cops after he leaves. No one asks Liz if she’s okay. When the mysterious figure shows up a second time, no one seems to be alarmed. When the hour of what she’s told will be her death approaches, no one volunteers to stay with Liz or to protect her or offers her any words of comfort whatsoever. I guess the 90s were a more innocent time but still, it seems like people should have been at least a little bit alarmed by all of this. At the very least, maybe someone could have offered to walk Liz to her car.

The Appointment is one of those Christian films that attempts to convert viewers by scaring them. I’m not really a fan of that approach and there’s something undeniably distasteful about the joy the film seems to take in counting down the minutes until Liz dies and presumably heads to Hell. That said, it’s a surprisingly well-directed film and the amateur cast actually does a pretty good job. The film’s musical score is loud, otherworldly, and totally intrusive, which is exactly right for this film. The scenes in which the camera creep through the newspaper office feel more appropriate for a horror film than a faith-based film. Agree or disagree with the film’s message, it’s still effective in its own crude sort of way.

Add to that, the film was shot in Arkansas, which is one of the many states in which I grew up and still have family. As I watched the film, it was kind of nice to hear some familiar accents.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman (dir by Daniel Farrands)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2021 film, Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman, is yet another film about the life and crimes of America’s first celebrity serial killer, Ted Bundy.

In this particular film, Bundy is played as being a handsome nonentity by Chad Michael Murray. The film follows Bundy as he moves from Seattle to Utah to Colorado and eventually to Florida, leaving a path of death in his wake. Investigating his crimes are Seattle Detective Kathleen McChesney (Holland Roden) and FBI profiler Robert Ressler (Jake Hays). McChesney not only has to track down Bundy but she also has to deal with her sexist police chief and his idiot son, both of whom think that Bundy’s victims are to blame.

Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman is the latest true crime horror film to be directed by Daniel Farrands. The frustrating thing about Farrands is that, if you can overlook the subject matter of his recent films, he’s actually a talented horror director who knows how to create suspense and who can be counted on to come up with at least one effective jump scare in all of his films. That said, he keeps making films that are almost impossible to defend because they exploit real-life tragedy. Farrands’s best film, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, worked because of Hilary Duff’s committed performance in the title role and the fact that the film itself was fully on Tate’s side. However, Farrands’s The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson was a tacky piece of exploitation that, despite Farrands’s strong visuals, appeared to have little compassion for the woman whose murder served as the film’s inspiration.

Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman is neither as effective as The Haunting of Sharon Tate nor as bad as The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. For the most part, the film plays loose with the facts of the case. At one point, McChesney even shows up at one of Bundy’s crime scenes and takes a shot at him as he flees. (Tarantino also played around with history in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood but, by allowing Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio to kill the members of the Mason family, he also allowed their victims to live. Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman, on the other hand, is willing to change history to allow McChesney to arrive at the crime scene but it’s not willing to change history to allow any of Bundy’s victims to survive. It’s hard not to feel that the film would have benefitted from following Tarantino’s approach and allowing Bundy’s victims to beat him to death.) There are a few odd scenes in which Bundy is showing fondling several mannequins. The scenes appear to pay homage to William Lustig’s Maniac but again, it doesn’t seem to be based on anything the actual Bundy did. The film hints at the intriguing idea of Ted Bundy being America’s first celebrity serial killer but it doesn’t really follow up on it. The whole thing feels rushed and rather icky. It certainly doesn’t add any insight into Bundy or killers in general.

That said, our longtime readers know that I hate to end on a totally negative note so I will say that the film uses its low budget to its advantage. The sparse sets and the small cast give the film something of a surreal feel, with Bundy as an evil specter who randomly shows up to haunt the dreams of a nation. Lin Shaye and Diane Franklin appear in small roles. Franklin plays a distraught mom who asks McChesney to kill Bundy rather than arrest him. Shaye plays Bundy’s overprotective mother and gives a nicely creepy performance. As I said earlier, it’s not so much that the film is badly made as the subject matter is so icky and the script is so bereft of any new insight that most viewers will wonder why the film needed to be made at all.

Vampire in Vegas (2009, directed by Jim Wynorski)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

In this thoroughly jumbled film, Tony Todd plays Sylvain. Sylvain is a centuries-old vampire who now lives in a mansion in Las Vegas. He wants to run for governor of Nevada and then he hopes to become President of the United States. Before he can campaign, Sylvain has to find a way to spend time in the daylight without bursting into flames. He recruits Dr. VanHelm (Delia Sheppard) to conducts experiments and develop an anti-sun serum. When Dr. VanHelm tests a prototype of the serum on three female vampires who have been tied to stakes in the desert, the experiment is observed by a camping couple who call the police.

At the same time, Jason (Edward Spivak) is engaged to marry Rachel (Sonya Joy Sims), so his friends decide to have one last hurrah by dragging him to Vegas and throwing a party with strippers. Unfortunately, the strippers are all vampires who work for Sylvain. Jason and his friends become Dr. VanHelm’s latest serum guinea pigs. When Rachel and her friend Nikki (Brandin Rackley) decide to surprise Jason in Vegas, they are also drawn into Sylvain’s web of conspiracy when it turns out that Nikki is hoping to become the newest of Sylvain’s vampiric servants.

From the minute the film opens with a lengthy exposition dump and footage of Sylvain throughout the years, Vampire in Vegas is obviously a Jim Wynorski film. With this film, Wynorski not only recreates the nonsensical vampire politics of the Twilight movies but he combines it with the bromantic decadence of The Hangover movies. It’s not a successful mix. Sylvain is determined to walk in the sunlight and to run for governor of Nevada but the movie never explains why. With his mansion and his legion of loyal followers, Sylvain has done very well as a vampire who can only come out at night. Why would he want to potentially lose everything that he has, just so he can run for governor and eventually president? Why would Sylvain trade everything that he has now for a job that would mostly involve renaming highways and signing whatever bills end up on his desk? And how does Sylvain think that he’ll be able to run for governor without someone investigating his past and discovering that he’s a vampire?

That’s a lot of questions and Jim Wynorski makes no attempt to answer them. Instead, the movie focuses on the strippers stripping and Sylvain waiting for his chance to brave the sun. It’s a Wynorski film so no shock there. Tony Todd plays the role with dignity, the rest of the cast is negligible in this Vegas bet that didn’t pay off.

International Horror Film Review: Dr. Orloff’s Monster (dir by Jess Franco)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This 1964 Spanish film takes place in Austria.

The notorious Dr. Orloff is dying. Orloff was the lead character in director Jess Franco’s The Awful Dr. Orlof. (The spelling of Orlof’s last name changes from film to film.) In the first film, Orlof (played with maniacal relish by Howard Vernon) was a father driven mad by his daughter’s disfigurement. With the help of his mute servant, he murdered women so that he could perform skin transplants in order to give his daughter back her beauty. In Dr. Orloff’s Monster, Dr. Orloff is a more of a generic mad scientist and he is now played Javier de Rivera. Knowing that his time is running out, Orloff passes along his secrets to one of his disciples, Dr. Conrad Jekyll (Marcelo Arroita-Jáuregui).

(In the dubbed American version of the film, Dr. Jekyll’s name is changed to Dr. Conrad Fisherman.)

Dr. Jekyll returns to his own remote Austrian castle. He’s soon joined by his innocent niece Melissa (Agnes Spaak). Melissa is searching for her father, Andros (played by Hugo Blanco). What she doesn’t know is that Dr. Jekyll earlier caught Andros in bed with Jekyll’s wife, Inglud (Luisa Sala). Jekyll murdered Andros. This led to Inglud becoming an alcoholic.

However, thanks to the teachings of Dr. Orloff, Jekyll knows how to bring Andros back to life. Unfortunately, the reanimated Andros is a hulking monster who Conrad uses to kill all of his former mistresses. It turns out that Inglud wasn’t the only one who had trouble sticking to marriage vows. Soon, Inspector Klein (Pastor Serrado) is investigating a growing number of nightclub-related murders. Inspector Klein is also falling in love with Melissa, which has the potential to make things more than a bit awkward.

Dr. Orloff’s Monster (which is also known as The Mistresses of Dr. Jekyll) was Franco’s first sequel to The Awful Dr. Orlof and it was also the tenth film that was he was credited with directing. (As Franco was a prolific filmmaker who used a huge amount of pseudonyms and whose films were often released under several different titles, we will probably never have a definite answer on how many films he actually directed over the course of his long career.) Particularly when compared to Franco’s later films, Dr. Orloff’s Monster seems rather restrained. As always with Franco, there’s a bit of nudity and an emphasis on murder but the violence is rather bloodless and the usual Franco perversions are hinted at without being explicitly shown. Instead, with this film, Franco emphasizes atmosphere over shock. The black-and-white cinematography creates the feel of a perfect noir, with Andros emerging from the shadows to attack his victims and then retreating back into the darkness. This, along with a deliberate pace and Franco’s frequent use of close-ups, gives Dr. Orloff’s Monster the feeling of a languid but menacing dream. With this film, Franco fills the screen with nightmarish ennui.

Unfortunately, the film suffers due to the absence of Franco’s usual villain, the great Howard Vernon. Vernon always brought a hint of old world decadence to his performances and the rather bland Marcelo Arroita-Jáuregui is simply not as interesting as Dr. Jekyll. Despite his death at the start of the film, Dr. Orloff would appear in other Franco films and, fortunately, Howard Vernon would return to play him.

A Blast From The Past: The Four Troublesome Heads (by Georges Melies)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

With the arrival of both October and our annual horrorthon, today’s Blast From The Past is here to help us get in the mood with some head action.

In this short film, director Georges Milies plays a magician who can remove his head. Fear not! When he removes his head, another head quickly appears on his shoulder. Pretty soon, our magician has one head on his shoulders and three other heads chatting away on a table. Everything’s fine until it’s discovered that, apparently, the heads aren’t very talented when it comes to singing.

Obviously, today, we know how camera tricks like this are done. We tend to take them for granted. But consider this, when watching The Four Troublesome Heads: this film was made in 1898. At a time when the movies themselves seemed like an act of magic, Georges Melies was removing his head and then trying to perform a song.

Yes, this the same Georges Melies who was played by Ben Kingsley in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo. That’s a great film, by the way. It marks the only time that Christopher Lee appeared in a Scorsese film. Go watch it, if you haven’t already.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #223: Black Eagle (dir by Eric Karson)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 1988 “action” film, Black Eagle!

Why Was I Watching It?

Last night, I watched Black Eagle as a part of the Monday Action Movie live tweet. Going into the film, I knew that it starred Sho Kosugi and Jean-Claude Van Damme and that was enough for me. As the film started, I was happy to see that it took place in Malta. I spent the summer after I graduated from high school in Europe and I spent a few days visiting Malta, its museums, and especially its beaches. I have good memories of the Malta days and especially the Malta nights.

What Was It About?

I’m not really sure what the film was about. I watched all 100 minutes of it and, as far as I could tell, an American airplane crashed off the coast of Malta so the CIA brought in Ken Tani (Sho Kosugi) to dive into the sea and retrieve something important from the plane. However, a Russian named Andrei (Jean-Claude Van Damme) also wanted whatever it was that was on the plane so he and his people ended up chasing Ken all over Malta, an island that I have visited.

Ken was also on vacation so, when he wasn’t killing people, he was hanging out with his two sons, Brian (Kane Kosugi) and Denny (Shane Kosugi). The CIA helpfully sent along one of their agents, Patricia Parker (Doran Clark), and she acted a sort of nanny while Ken was busy fighting the Russians. Also helping Ken was a Jesuit (Bruce French) who also happened to be an explosive expert. I don’t think the Vatican would approve of a priest blowing up boats and building but everyone knows better than to argue with a Jesuit.

What Worked?

Jean-Claude Van Damme didn’t really do much in this movie but he still looked good and he got to do the splits a few times. In fact, it was kind of funny to watch him actively search out any possible excuse to do a split. I had a lot of fun imagining that Andrei only became an international spy so that he could show off his gymnastic abilities. It’s too bad he missed out on Gymkata.

The Maltese scenery was lovely, even if the film itself was a bit grainy. Have I mentioned that I’ve been to Malta?

What Did Not Work?

Oh, that Sho Kosugi. He was great when he was fighting people and tossing them off of buildings but whenever he had to actually deliver dialogue and try to show emotion …. AGCK! There’s a reason why Sho Kosugi’s most popular American films — Enter the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination — feature him playing a villain. Even when Kosugi was acting opposite his children, he seemed to be in a fairly bad mood.

At one point, Ken asked the priest how he became an expert in demolitions. “Ever hear of a place called Vietnam,” the Jesuit replied and I groaned as I realized that Ken had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. If there’s one thing that I understand as a result of being raised Catholic, it’s that you never ask a Jesuit for his origin story unless you’ve got a few hours to kill.

To be honest, the film could have used even more scenes about Malta, a lovely place of which I have many good memories.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I’ve been to Malta.

Lessons Learned

Definitely go to Malta if you get a chance.

Horror Film Review: Child’s Play (dir by Tom Holland)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A few months ago, I rewatched the original 1988 Child’s Play.

I have to say that I was surprised by just how well the film held up. Today, of course, everyone knows about Chucky. Everyone know that Chucky was originally Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif), a serial killer who was chased into a toy store by police detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon). Knowing that he had little chance of escaping and not wanting to go to back to prison or face the electric chair, Charles Lee Ray performed a quick occult ceremony. While lighting crashed all around the store, Charles transported his soul into a “Good Guy” doll.

That doll was later purchased by a hard-working, single mom named Karen Barclay (Catherine Hicks). She gave the doll to her six year-old son, Andy (Alex Vincent). There was nothing that Andy wanted more for his birthday than a talking Good Guy doll. Unfortunately, Good Guy dolls were also very expensive and Karen wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to afford to buy one. But, when she ran into a homeless guy who happened to be selling stolen merchandise out of his shopping cart, Karen was able to make Andy’s birthday a happy one! Andy unwrapped the doll and smiled as the doll introduced himself as being “Chucky” and asked if he wanted to play.

Unfortunately, it soon turned out that Charles Lee Ray wasn’t going to stop killing people just because he was now trapped inside the doll. If anything, being trapped in the doll made Ray even more homicidal. It makes sense if you think about it. I’m sure that Charles Lee Ray didn’t realize that performing that voodoo curse would cause him to wake up as a plastic toy wearing overalls and being expected to be a 6 year-old’s best friend.

Anyway, Chucky went on a rampage, killed several people, and everyone blamed Andy. Not even Karen believed Andy when Andy explained that Chucky was the one killing people with toy hammers and blowing up houses. Or, at least, Karen didn’t believe Andy until she herself was attacked by Chucky. With Chucky freaking out about the prospect of being stuck in the doll’s body for the rest of his existence and wanting to possess his new owner instead, Karen and Mike teamed up to protect Andy from the world’s worst birthday present.

To be honest, Child’s Play shouldn’t work as well as it does. The story is ludicrous, even by the standards of late 80s horror. There’s no way that a doll should be able to do things like throw a hammer with enough force to send someone flying out of a window. (Making the scene even stranger is the fact that it’s not even a real hammer but instead a little plastic Good Guy hammer.) And yet, the film does work and not just as an example of nostalgic camp. This is a scary and emotionally effective story, even if you already know the truth about Chucky. It helps that Alex Vincent gives a totally natural, uncutesy performance as Andy. Your heart really breaks for him as he begs the adults in his life to understand that it’s Chucky who is doing all of the bad things and not him. As well, Catherine Hicks deserves a lot of credit for taking her role seriously. And finally, the great Brad Dourif does wonders with just his voice. At first, it’s undeniably funny to hear his angry voice coming out of Chucky but Dourif delivers his lines with such unhinged conviction that it’s actually rather frightening when he suddenly drops the act and starts cursing out Karen. After all of the sequels and the subsequent television shows, Chucky himself has become a bit of a pop cultural icon. He’s almost as lovable as Freddy and Jason combined. But in the first Child’s Play, that doll is seriously scary. He may be small but he has the energy and ruthlessness of a feral beast. When he attacks, you have no doubt that he’s not going to stop until he’s gotten what he wants and what he wants is usually for someone to die.

The first Child’s Play earns its status as a horror classic by being surprisingly scary and also surprisingly emotional. You really do end up caring about Karen and Andy. When Karen finally went after that smug, murderous doll, I definitely cheered a little. Take that, Chucky!

The Sky, Review by Case Wright (Dir. Matt Sears)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by casewright

Matt Sears only creates shorts, therefore, I am primed to like this creator. The Sky takes the Alien invasion/destruction genre and compresses it to two ordinary friends who are going to watch it end. The short brushed up a little too close to the Cardinal Sin of making a pitch masquerading as a short. I do give him a pass on this because it did deliver on the apocalypse.

Ellie and Victoria are old friends who are salt of the earth archetypes. Ellie has a string of boyfriends and is on the outs with her mom. Victoria doesn’t want to die alone. They decide to drink the British version of Two Buck Chuck, do shrooms, and watch it all end. Ellie’s mom tries to reconnect with her for the final moments, but she is on a pier somewhere not nearby. It is revealed that somehow Victoria contrived to prevent Ellie from spending the end of the world with her instead of having a reconciliation during this lovely Gotterdammerung.

Ellie leaves Victoria to die alone as she is hallucinating on shrooms. We are not sure whether or not she actually sees her mother, but we do see them both die. This film was made during COVID; so, it has an out with a whimper feel to it. I have not seen Matt Sears’ other shorts, but this is a Stephen King style story-telling- regular people who have to live with a monster in the basement- i.e. it’s never about the monster, it’s about how ordinary people live with a monster.

It reminds me of the song Veronica. It’s not about the Alzheimer’s; no, it’s about how loved she was that a man left everything to help the love of his life- die. Here, there’s no hope, but humanity continues.
So yes, I approve.

Horror on the Lens: A Cold Night’s Death (dir by Jerrold Freedman)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s Horror on the Lens, we have a made-for-TV movie from 1973. As you can tell from the video below, it originally aired as a part of ABC’s Tuesday Night At The Movies so it’s only appropriate that we are also sharing it on Tuesday.

A Cold Night’s Death tells the story of two scientists (Eli Wallach and Robert Culp) who are sent to a remote research station to investigate the apparent disappearance of another scientist. They soon come to suspect that they may not be alone and soon, paranoia rears its ugly head. With its frozen landscape and its ominous atmosphere, this movie feels like a distant cousin to John Carpenter’s The Thing.

Enjoy!