I can relate. This whole month has been full of bad omens. Let’s just hope that Valentine’s Day can redeem things and save 2024 from being over before it’s even begun!
(No pressure, lover!)
Enjoy!
I can relate. This whole month has been full of bad omens. Let’s just hope that Valentine’s Day can redeem things and save 2024 from being over before it’s even begun!
(No pressure, lover!)
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, Baker has a double!
Episode 1.13 “One Two Many”
(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on January 5th, 1978)
This week’s episode of CHiPs opens with a member of the California Highway Patrol pulling over a woman on the highway. From a distance, he looks a bit like Jon Baker. However, it soon becomes obvious that he’s not Baker when the fake highway patrolman (played by William Whitaker) says something offensive to the woman in the car. We don’t hear what he said but the woman announces that she’s never been spoken to so crudely and drives back into traffic. She also causes a crash as another car swerves to avoid her. Inside the car, a woman is about to give birth. Her husband begs for the fake patrolman’s help. Instead, the suddenly panicked faker drives away.
Fortunately, Baker and Ponch then roll up and they get their day started by helping to deliver a baby. As usual, it’s Baker who actually knows what to do while Ponch stands around and flashes that blinding grin of his.
Back at headquarters, the woman from the car has filed a complaint against the obscene patrolman. When she takes a look at the pictures of all of the patrolman who were on duty at the time, she selects Baker. Knowing that Baker isn’t turned on by anything outside of memories of his life Montana, Sgt. Getraer figures out that there’s a fake cop out there, one who looks just like Jon Baker!
Appropriately enough, Baker and Ponch are the ones who finally arrest him. Actually, they cross paths with the guy several times, suggesting that God himself means for them to meet. At one point, Baker and Ponch see a woman named Jobina (Trish Stewart) who is struggling with the fake cop. They assume that she’s resisting arrest and they grab her. The fake cop runs off while another real cop — this one from the LAPD — shows up and demands to know what’s going on. It’s all a bit messy but let’s give credit where credit is due. William Whitaker is effectively creepy as the fake cop while Trish Stewart gives a strong and emotionally realistic performance as the most prominent of his victims. After everything she’s been through, she doesn’t want to spend time with any cops, whether they’re real or fake. The show seems to understand that she has a point.
While this is going on, Ponch is getting on Baker’s last nerve. Ponch’s RV is being fixed for numerous electronic problems so Ponch moves into Baker’s tastefully decorated apartment. It turns out that Ponch is not easy to live with, as he really likes to listen to music while he’s sleeping. As well, Ponch keeps hitting on all of Baker’s neighbors. In the end, Baker decided to say in Ponch’s damaged RV while Ponch stays in the apartment so let’s just hope the building manager doesn’t find out because next week, both Baker and Ponch might be homeless!
We’ll find out next Monday!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
The 21st episode of Miami Vice is Evan. It’s regularly listed as being one of the best episodes of the show and it’s not available to stream online. Apparently, this is due to someone referring to another character as being a “faggot.” Yes, it’s a dirty word but I’m an adult and I do think that I could handle hearing the word and figuring out the context of why it was used. Censorship sucks so shame on Prime, Tubi, NBC, and everyone else who is involved in not streaming Evan.
With Evan not available to be viewed, I moved on to the first season finale.
Episode 1.22 “Lombard”
(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on May 10th, 1985)
The first season of Miami Vice comes to an end with a rather simple story. Lombard (Dennis Farina) is a crime lord, a first-generation Italian-American whose father lived an honest life and who died poor as a result. Lombard did what he had to do to get ahead and, as a result, he’s now a very rich man who lives on a boat.
He’s also being targeted by both rival gangsters and the law. When Lombard agrees to testify against the Mafia in return for immunity, Crockett and Tubbs are assigned to babysit him until the trial. Crockett and Tubbs are both weary of Lombard but Lombard turns out to be a charming guy with a sense of ethics. He cooks them a big Italian dinner. He entertain them with stories. Crockett and Tubbs start to like the guy, even if guarding him means that they get involved in a few mob shootouts.
However, when it comes time to testify, Lombard refuses. Under the immunity deal, he’s no longer qualified to plead the fifth but Lombard does just that. Repeatedly, he pleads the fifth and, as a result, he gets enough contempt citations that he’s probably looking at least a decade in jail, regardless of the fact that he didn’t admit to any of the major crimes that he committed.
Sonny and Tubbs are impressed. Lombard may be a criminal but he has a sense of honor. He doesn’t snitch. He’s not a rat. Of course, that doesn’t make a difference to the criminals who apparently gun him down in the episode’s final ambiguous freeze frame.
The story was simple and, to be honest, it wasn’t anything that Miami Vice hadn’t already done. But the episode works, because of Dennis Farina’s charismatic performance as Lombard and John Nicolella’s stylish and moody direction. The first season of Miami Vice ends much as it began, with ambiguity and defeat. Lombard scores a moral victory but is gunned down minutes afterwards. Crockett and Tubbs keep Lombard alive just long enough for him to double-cross the authorities. In the end, the ruthless gangster turns out to have more honor than the people prosecuting him and Crockett and Tubbs are again forced to consider that there’s not a lot of difference between them and the people that they’re chasing.
Next week …. it’s time for Season 2!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.
Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be Fortune Dane (1986), starring the great Carl Weathers!
Then, on twitter, #MondayMuggers will be showing 2018’s Skyscraper, starring Dwayne Johnson! The film is on Prime and it starts at 10 pm et!
It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Fortune Dane on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! Then switch over to twitter, pull Skyscraper up on Prime, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!
Enjoy!
Hi! This has been the week from Hell and, just when I thought it was over, I managed to twist my ankle. So, I’m not happy right now. I feel bad because I’ve gotten behind on everything that I usually review during the week. I can catch up pretty easily next week and I know that this is the sort of thing that happens to everyone but I still feel like I’ve let our regular readers down. I really am sorry about that. I promise to make it up to everyone this upcoming week.
I only watched six films this week, that should be a clue to what I’ve been through. Here they are:
That’s it for this week. Again, I apologize for not doing my usual in-depth week in review. I hope all of my fellow writers and bloggers out there know how much I appreciate them.
Finally, a music video to which I can relate!
Or, at least, I think I can relate. I’m not really sure what the song is about. I’m just reacting to the drowning imagery. It’s easy to feel like you’re drowning under the weight of everything that you need to get done. Being basically out of commission all last week left me running so far behind that I don’t feel like I’m ever going to caught up.
*sigh*
But I’ll make it! I always do.
So, enjoy!
A thoroughly misguided film, 2010’s Loving the Bad Man tells the story of Julie Thompson (Cree Kelly) and Mike Connor (Arturo Rossi).
Julie is a young woman who is so religious that she wears a Jesus Saves button to work and she agrees to let a young shoplifter off the hook on the condition that he go to church with her. One night, Julie gets a flat tire while driving home. Looking for help, she stumbles into a sleazy bar. Mike Connor is a young mechanic from a broken home who just happens to be having a beer that night. He offers to help Julie out.
Mike fixes Julie’s car but, the entire time that he’s working on it, he’s having flashbacks to an earlier physical confrontation that he had with his boss at the local garage. Mike has issues with people looking down on him and when Julie attempts to thank Mike for his work by giving him a tip, Mike snaps. Screaming that he’s not poor, he grabs Julie and, off-screen, he rapes her.
Mike goes to prison. Julie gets pregnant but, despite the efforts of her family to convince her otherwise, Julie refuses to have an abortion. While Mike is being targeted by the head of the Aryan brotherhood, Julie is giving birth. While Mike is being tutored by the wise elder prisoner, Julie is raising her son. After reading in the Bible that one must be willing to forgive all who have sinned against them, Julie decides that she has to forgive the bad man.
Now, there’s a lot about the first part of the film that doesn’t work. Playing an upbeat Christian pop song over a rape kit montage is not a decision I would have made. The fact that Julie never appears to actually be traumatized by her rape is another big problem. The only time Julie gets angry is when her parents suggest that she not keep a child fathered by the man who raped her. (At this point, I should perhaps note that, when it comes to abortion, I’ve never felt comfortable with the extremes of either side of the issue. As far as this film goes, I could respect Julie’s parents’ point while also respecting Julie’s decision to keep the baby. That was entirely due to my own personal feelings as opposed to any type of nuance on the part of the film.) Finally, the authenticity of the film’s prison scenes are not helped by the decision to cast Stephen Baldwin (complete with obviously fake tattoos) as the head of the Aryan Brotherhood.
That said, I am a believer in forgiveness. Many crime victims have spoken and written about the importance of being able to forgive the people who victimized them, often describing it as the first step in moving on with their lives. However, forgiveness does not mean forgetting about what someone did or becoming that person’s best friend. Ideally, it means letting go of the hate that was holding you back. By forgiving those who have hurt you, you’re basically refusing to allow them to control your lives.
So, I don’t have a problem with Julie forgiving Mike. I do have a problem with Julie continually showing up at the prison with a big smile on her face and introducing Mike to his son. I have a problem with her baking cookies for him. I especially have a problem with Julie eventually declaring that she’s fallen in love with Mike and telling him that meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to her because it led to the birth of her son. I don’t care how much of a Christian she is or how into forgiveness she is, no woman is going to react like that when seeing the man who raped her. Nor should any woman be expected to react like that, regardless of how guilty Mike feels or how many times Mike declares that he loves Julie as well. That doesn’t mean that Julie can’t forgive the bad man. Nor does it mean that Mike can’t try to change his life while he’s in prison. But the actions of the characters in this film make no sense.
Worst of all, the film builds up to a climax in which it appears Mike might have to sacrifice himself to protect Julie. It is true that Jesus forgave the incarcerated. But it’s also true that Absalom threw a feast specifically so he could have his half-brother killed after the latter raped their sister.
Forgiveness is a good message but this film’s execution is offensive. Perhaps the only highlight is Stephen Baldwin acting like a tough guy and looking like he’s fighting the urge to laugh every time he opens his mouth.
This previous week …. bleh. Let’s just take a look at what I watched.
The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)
Eh. I’m pretty lukewarm on the new bachelor. He seems like a nice guy but he’s kind of boring.
Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!
Check it Out (Tubi)
I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.
CHiPs (Freevee)
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
Fantasy Island (YouTube)
I reviewed Fantasy Island here!
Football (Sunday)
Did I watched two football games on Sunday? According to my notes, Jeff and I watched two playoff games but I’ll be darned if I can tell you a dang thing about either one of them.
Friday the 13th (YouTube)
I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.
Happy Hour (YouTube)
I watched an episode of this old 90s game show on Saturday morning. Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa asked bizarre questions to celebrities. Dweezil was cool but Ahmet was like the hyperactive cousin that no one wants to deal with at the family reunion. Amongst the celebrities were Chuck Woolery, Alexandra Paul, Patton Oswalt, and that “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” ring announcer dude.
Highway to Heaven (Freevee)
I wrote about this week’s episode here!
Judge Dad (YouTube)
On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Judge Dad dealt with a woman who claimed her Canadian husband only married her for a visa. Judge Dad interrupted the show so he could do a commercial for some sort of special food delivery system. I followed this episode with an episode in which Judge Dad admonished a man for slashing his ex’s tires. Both episodes featured the same disclosure. Judge Dad is not a lawyer and the cases are fiction.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
I got caught up with the first three episodes of the new season this week. I am really impressed by Reid Scott, who is this season’s newest cast member. He and Mehcad Brooks are working well together and Brooks, for his part, is no longer quite as stiff as he was the previous season. Sam Waterston, bless him, is obviously not in the best of health and I really hope he retires after this season and enjoys life. So far, Nolan Price appears to have mellowed out, especially when compared to previous two seasons. But what has happened to Maroun? She was finally showing some sparks of having a personality at the end of the previous season but now, she’s back to being a humorless scold who wears too much lipstick.
The first three episodes of the new season were all fairly good. I cringe whenever the blue collar cops on Law & Order start talking like MSNC pundits (and I still laugh whenever I remember last season’s “Did you all see Morning Joe?”). Law & Order will probably never be the beacon of quality that it once was but this season is off to a good start.
The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
I reviewed the third season finale here!
Miami Vice (Tubi)
Monsters (Tubi)
Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)
Sally talked to women who felt their marriage were in trouble. All of the husband were total deadbeats. One guy came out on stage wearing his uniform from McDonald’s. I’m sure the bosses were really happy about that.
So Here’s What Happened (YouTube)
I wrote about this obscure pilot here!
Square Pegs (YouTube)
This was a sitcom from the early 80s, about two girls trying to be popular in high school. I watched the pilot on Friday night and I smiled a few times. Trying to fit in is a timeless subject. One of the girls was played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who I love because, like me, she’s a part of the Big Nose Crew. BNC FOREVER!
T and T (Tubi)
Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the Kotters find a new apartment! Say goodbye to that iconic closet.
Episode 3.8 “What a Move”
(Dir by Nick Havinga, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)
At school, Gabe asks Mr. Woodman if he ever told him about his uncle who went to a psychiatrist because he thought he was a radiator and he needed help to stop hissing.
“I can hiss too, Kotter!” Woodman snaps.
Why is Gabe telling his joke to Mr. Woodman? Well, Julie hates his jokes and she’s also busy trying to find a new apartment. The babies cannot grow up in a one-room apartment, especially one that is continually being broken into by the Sweathogs. But this is New York in the 70s and a rent-controlled place is not easy to find. Thanks a lot, Mayor Beame!
Fortunately, Epstein has a solution. His uncle Mo owns a building and has a place to rent.
“You don’t want to move to Puerto Rico!” Woodman exclaims but Epstein explains that Mo is from “the other side” of the family.
It’s a nice apartment and with the help of the Sweathogs (because apparently, neither Julie nor Gabe know anyone outside of those four students), Julie and Gabe pack up and leave their old place. They nearly leave the babies behind but, after Julie yells at Gabe, they go back and get them.
The new apartment seems like a great place except Uncle Mo (Herb Edelman) has a strict no baby policy and no sooner have the Kotters moved in than Mo is telling them to get out. Epstein is so upset about his uncle’s behavior that he uses it as an excuse to start skipping school. This is a crisis! However, when an offended Julie and Gabe inform Mo that they will be leaving immediately, Mo asks if they wouldn’t rather threaten to sue him. It turns out that Mo fights with his tenants for fun and he doesn’t mean half the stuff he says. Gabe obliges by pretending to yell at him and Mo allows Julie, Gabe, and the babies to all stay. Personally, I’m not sure I would want to live with a landlord who threatens to illegally evict me for snots and giggles but whatever. I guess in Mayor Beame’s New York, you took what you could find. Damn you, Mayor Beame!
Having taken care of all that, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Ellwood. Julie dramatically rolls her eyes as the new apartment is christened with Gabe’s sense of humor.
Weird episode. Watching it, one gets the feeling that the producers were trying desperately to find a way to renew the spark of Julie and Gabe’s marriage. Marcia Strassman was notoriously unhappy with the the first two seasons of the show, going so far as to speak publicly about her dissatisfaction. Season 3 seems to feature a lot more of Julie and Gabe’s marriage and Julie is getting to do a lot more than she did in the previous seasons but there’s such a visible hostility between Gabe Kaplan and Strassman that it’s a bit awkward to watch. It makes one wish that the show could just return to Gabe telling the Sweathogs not to steal or fight other gangs. The new apartment is nice but it takes more than moving to save a marriage!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial! The movie? 2022’s X!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
X is available on Prime!
See you there!